Take Me Home with You Pt. 14

Joy was at her Friday afternoon class, but Lawrence had the day off. He'd done some cleaning around the apartment, but now he stood in front of the calendar, staring at today's empty square.

By evening it would still be empty.

The shiny new packet of pills was still there on the marker ledge. He'd leave it there, to remind her of the choice they'd made together.

But I have to wait.

She hadn't really missed a pill, yet, after all. She'd spoken her intention, but she hadn't followed through. He should give her until tomorrow evening, to be certain.

He growled, turning from the calendar, looking for any distraction. His eyes settled on a basket just inside the bedroom door.

Laundry.

He carried the basket to the machine.

Her hoodie wasn't here, of course. She'd be wearing it right now. He could picture her round eyes looking out at him from the hood, and her fingers curling together. And as he transferred their clothing to the machine, he could smell her.

Her soft female sweat, and the tiniest bright hint of oranges, mixed into his clothing.

Mine.

He wanted to rush to her school; to find her and drag her into a bathroom stall or janitor's closet to rut into her. He wanted to hear her cry for him again, and see the tears dripping to her jaw and down her throat while his semen spurted in her body.

But he reminded himself--yet again, with some difficulty--that he had time with her. There was no hurry with Joy, who'd shown her pleasure with him--her devotion to him--at every turn.

She was a marvel.

A pain struck him then, as he realised how much of his life he'd been without her.

He'd had relationships before. Several. But he'd always known, with all of them, that his true self was a looming problem in the background. A beast to be locked away, and forgotten if possible.

Joy...

She didn't try to tame or cage his nature. She invited him.

The ache in his chest ran deeper than organs and bones. If he'd known how life could be, how he could feel, would he have lived the same way? Made the same choices?

No. I'd have spent every moment searching for her.

Perhaps it was for the better, then, that he hadn't known. But it still hurt.

~~~

When she arrived home, he took her bag from her and set it aside, pushing the door closed with one arm and wrapping the other around her waist, over the hem of her sweatshirt.

He pressed his mouth to hers, feeling her warmth and softness and the little smile on her lips.

"I love you."

He hadn't meant to say it. He hadn't even realised its truth until just now, but it explained everything.

He kissed her again so he could think of more words and so she wouldn't have to. "Let's go out. Let's see a movie."

~~~

Lawrence felt light in a way he hadn't since childhood.

The movie was terrible, but neither of them cared. They'd gone out for late night pub food afterwards and laughed about it together. Then last night he'd slept against her back again, chastely with his shorts on. Curled around his naked, trusting kitten.

I love her.

"Ava's party is tonight," Joy looked up from her toast and eggs. Her eyes and hair caught the dim, overcast glow from outside.

"Oh, right."

Oh. Right.

That meant they'd both be out tonight, since he had to work. He'd have to wait until tomorrow to take everything he wanted from her. All he'd been waiting for.

He didn't need to look at the calendar again. There was no X on yesterday's date, and there'd be another missing tonight.

But he'd have to wait.

"It's at a bar, you said?"

"Yeah, off Main Street. I think it's called The Station."

"I know it. That's not far from the hospital. Red signs, right?"

"I think so."

"We can leave together and walk from my work."

~~~

"Promise me you'll take a taxi home after."

Joy nodded back at him.

It was strange seeing her dressed this way. She wore high heeled dress shoes. They were simple but they still seemed out of place on her. Her black dress showed off her collarbone and shoulders, with the hem reaching just above her knees. And her hair, usually hidden by her hood, fell in loose waves that framed her face in a new way today, somehow.

She was beautiful as always, but less herself.

To keep away the chill, she'd borrowed one of his jackets. It fit her surprisingly well--or at least, it looked intentionally oversized on her smaller frame. He was glad at least she'd have his smell on her tonight.

And the collar, of course.

Lawrence took her hand, walking her from the parking lot up onto the sidewalk. She squeezed, and he squeezed back.

"Are you nervous?" he asked her.

"I don't really like the noise. And everyone will be drinking."

He nodded. It wasn't his favourite scene, either. "Your friend will be happy though. You said she's moving away?"

"Yeah,"

Lawrence's stride caught for a moment. Joy kept speaking but he couldn't hear her.

Walking down the street towards them was a woman with dark brown eyes and poker-straight hair. A bracelet that rattled with her steps.

Kyleigh.

He thought about every step forward, continuing ahead with Joy. He hoped he wasn't squeezing her hand too tightly.

Kyleigh glanced at his face, with her lips tightened at the corners. But she didn't acknowledge him. She walked right past.

Once she had, he could breathe again. He refused to look back at her.

"Are you okay?" Joy's eyes were concerned.

"Yes."

Am I?

But he didn't want to think about Kyleigh right now. Only Joy.

"You look kind of... off?"

"I'm alright, sorry. You were talking about Ava."

"Just that she's moving back East. She has friends there too though, already."

"That's good."

They walked quietly for another while, until Joy pointed to the red frame of the bar on the next block. "I think that's it."

When they arrived, she turned to him, sliding her arms around his waist and squeezing.

It felt perfect. He closed his eyes and held her, too.

"I wish we were home... in your bed," she whispered.

He pressed her forehead to his lips and kissed her. "Tomorrow, kitten."

She whimpered, but said "okay."

"Take a taxi."

"I will."

Finally, he let go of her, and turned to walk back to work. He'd see her in the morning, and all would be well.

He just had to get through the night.