The Cashier Pt. 04

Stephanie, Interrupted

The Cashier part 4

Dan is still in a physical rehab facility six or so weeks after the accident. We're going to give him a break so he can focus on getting better. In the meantime, we get the chance to know Stephanie a little better as she steps out of Dan's shadow.

Stephanie has become Dan's caretaker, patient advocate, and business partner. She is also learning to navigate the world as a woman. It was her hope that Dan would be there by her side helping her along, but she has to figure it out on her own. That's a lot for one girl to do on her own. Fortunately Carla (Read part two if you don't know who Carla is) has offered her help. Stephanie and Carla are going shopping, but Stephanie has a stop to make first.

It was only 10:20, I was a bit early for my Therapist appointment at 10:45. I texted Dan to let him know I was here.

Dan: Have fun. Moss you already.

Dan: Mice

Dan: Mission

Dan: Fucking auto correct. I miss you.

Stephanie: Lol I mice you too. ❤️

I smiled to myself. Dan could be frustrating sometimes, but he always made me smile. The accident had really thrown a wrench into things between us, and we both knew it. When I started coming out as Stephanie instead of Eric, I'd expected him to be there with me. Instead I suddenly found my way trying to navigate this on my own. Having access to Dan's money, and his blessings to use it, made things a lot easier. I quit my job as a cashier so I didn't have to come out at work. I didn't even need to get a job, Dan was paying for everything. In some ways it was a dream come true, in other ways, not so much. I was now responsible for the care of a man over twice my age. It was weird to be so dependent on a man who was so dependent on me. It was messing with my head. I really wanted to be independent. I spent my whole life dependent on my parents, and that didn't end well. I wanted, no, I needed, to know I could stand on my own.

My phone pinged again. This time it was Carla.

Carla: Hey girl! Listen, something came up. I have a favor to ask.

Stephanie: Sure, what do you need?

Carla: Tell you at lunch. It'll be fun. Promise. ????

Stephanie: See you soon!

Carla was the closest thing to a girlfriend I had. At least locally. I wasn't very social, and most of my friends were online.

Carla had kind of adopted me as her new bestie after the accident. I worried that she just felt guilty, after all the accident occurred on the way home from a crazy night at Dave and Carla's.

Dan and I had had a sex crazed foursome with Dave and Carla. It was something I would have never done prior to my transition. I didn't regret it exactly, things just escalated quickly. Dan had said we would have a conversation prior to things escalating, but it just sort of got out of hand. It was thrilling and exciting, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't into it.

Carla and Dave came to visit while Dan was still in the hospital. It was nice of them to come, but a little awkward for me at first. I kept thinking about the fact that I fucked both of them. I didn't have a long list of lovers, and I wasn't really on speaking terms with any of them. Except Dan, and now Carla and Dave.

I was nervous about meeting with Carla. We were having lunch at Waifu Sushi, then off to shop. I was nervous she might want to do more than shop, and I was nervous because I think I wanted to do more than shop too.

Technically, Dan and I had an open relationship, but I was still new to this kind of lifestyle and I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

I did know that I kind of wanted to fuck Carla again. I wasn't really into girls, but I wasn't not into them either. Just the thought of her voluminous breasts with their pale pink nipples and her soft round tush could get me hot and bothered. Especially the thought of her tied up. Dan is definitely the Dom in our relationship, and I wouldn't want it any other way, but topping Carla was an unexpected turn on, and I was eager to do it again. It was going to be just the two of us, and I was having fantasies about being in the changing rooms with her. I was horny as fuck and after the debacle with Dan at the rehab, my libido was in overdrive. I was so lost in sexy thoughts that I almost missed the receptionist calling my name.

Michelle was my therapist. She was thin, almost frail, mid to late forties, pretty, but in a subdued way. Her salt-n-pepper hair hung in a thick braid, usually over her shoulder. Her style was what I like to describe as grown daughter of the hippies. Somewhere between NPR radio host and cottagecore Deadhead. Lots of grey and black mixed with autumn colors, and beaded necklaces, dangling earrings and perfume that smelled of cinnamon and vanilla.

"Good morning Stephanie, it's been a few weeks. We've missed you. You look great! How are you feeling?" Her smile was warm and her voice gentle and soothing. I felt guilty for missing my last several sessions. I really like talking to her, but I was also nervous.

"I'm doing good," I lied, "I'm fully recovered. I got lucky. Dan is in a physical rehabilitation center. It's a nice place and we're very hopeful."

"I'm happy to hear that. How are things with you and Dan?"

I was expecting this question, and I'd prepared my answer, "Good."

She wasn't buying it, but things were getting better. Dan was slowly becoming more of his old self. I was wishing he was here right now. So why couldn't I say that instead of just 'Good'?

"Do you want to talk about the accident?" Michelle asked.

"Not really." I really didn't.

"What do you want to talk about then?"

"The accident." I guess I did want to talk about it.

Michelle sat there patiently, waiting for me. She didn't push, she just waited patiently. I knew if I just waited long enough, she'd say something, then I could deflect and get on to something else.

"I don't even know where to start." I wanted to start with dinner and the BDSM orgy. I just didn't know how.

"Start at the beginning." She prompted.

"We went out to dinner at some friend's house. It was my first time 'out' out. As Stephanie."

"How did that feel?"

"It was fantastic. I felt like myself for the first, well maybe the second time. I looked and felt so good."

The memory flooded over me. The euphoria, the freedom, the joy. I started to cry. Michelle offered me a tissue.

"I'm sorry. This isn't even the hard part." I said between tears. "Why can't I just be happy? Everything was going so good."

"Then the accident?" she asked.

"Yes. No. Yes, but it... I don't know. Things got weird. Exciting weird, fun weird, but still weird." I didn't know if I was comfortable talking about it.

"How so?" she asked.

I thought for a moment. I resolved to open up.

"..." I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

"Stephanie? Is there something you want to tell me?" Michelle asked, without pushing, or making me feel pressure. I don't know how she did that, but I loved it.

"I haven't talked to you about our sex life, have I?" I finally said.

"No, you haven't. Do you want to talk about your sex life?"

"Yes. Desperately," I said, "but I don't know if I'm ready."

"Is there something wrong with it?" She asked.

"Oh, god no! Our sex life is next level. It is amazing! But I have to talk about it before I can talk about the dinner and the accident."

"Okay."

"I don't want to be too graphic or say something that will make you uncomfortable." I said.

She smiled. It was a genuine, gentle smile. "Does it involve anything illegal?"

"No. Just, different. We don't have a vanilla sex life."

"Stephanie, you are free to say as little or as much as you feel is necessary." She leaned forward, making eye contact. "You can use any words you need to use, you can be as direct as you need to be. This is your time, and we're here for you. If you say anything that makes me uncomfortable, I promise to communicate it to you. Okay?"

I smiled, and maybe blushed. "Okay."

So I told her everything. I told her about our first time together. About the photos, and how I intentionally seduced him. About how I just pretended to drink while he got drunk.

I told her how good the sex was and how it made me feel like a woman. I gave her details too. Probably more than I should have, but it felt so good to share it.

I was getting ready to tell her about the dinner. The lead up to the accident when the timer buzzed.

"That's a lot to process," she said, "I'd like to pick up here next week."

"I'm not even to the dinner yet," I said, "I told you all of that because we need to talk about the dinner before we talk about the accident."

She smiled at me, "We'll get there, but I heard several things I think we should talk about. Our time is up, so let's pick up here next week."

I had mixed feelings as I walked out of her office. That pretty much summed up my life. I felt I was just making progress, and boom. Done. See you next week.

I knew I shouldn't complain. I had things easy. I should be happy. Instead, I was lonely. I'd been lonely most of my life, I should be used to it, but now I'd had a taste of "not lonely" and I wanted more.

Only one thing to do. Go shopping with Carla. I put on my sunglasses and walked to my car.

My new car. Having a millionaire boyfriend came with certain perks. I was the proud owner of a blue 2024 Audi RS3. Honestly Dan would have been happy to let me buy the Porsche 911, but it was almost twice as expensive. I felt guilty enough getting the Audi, but I could live with it.

Waifu Sushi was a trendy anime inspired sushi joint. Although I was primarily a vegetarian, I did sometimes eat fish, and if I wasn't in the mood for fish, they had some amazing vegetarian choices.

Arrived before Carla and had a moment to check myself before she arrived. I was wearing a long white Michael Kors wool trench coat, black slacks that flared at the bottom, and a black turtleneck with a herringbone silver necklace. A set of stunning pearl earrings and a white wool cloche hat rounded out the ensemble. Oh, and a pink Michael Kors Hamilton satchel purse. Just for color. With the sunglasses on I thought I looked like a movie star.

I touched up my makeup, went inside and found a table. I didn't have to wait long.

"Steph!" Her voice carried across the restaurant as she zeroed in on me. Arms spread for a hug she crossed the distance like a cavalry charge. I stood and opened my arms for her enthusiastic embrace.

We met in a warm welcoming hug. I was smiling so hard it hurt, it was so good to see her. Her curly red hair was like a halo of fire. Her arms enveloped me, pressing me into her bosoms. My arms embraced her softness and I vigorously returned her hug. I needed this so badly. To be held and welcomed and wanted. So many emotions were coursing through my body.

"Hi Carla!" I said, trying to hold back tears.

"Steph, oh my God! Let me look at you!" She held me at arms length and took me in.

"Steph, you are fire! You look amazing! Oh, I love the bangs!"

"You noticed?" I said, "I got my haircut last week and Dan still hasn't noticed."

"I'm sure he did, he just hasn't said anything," she said, "Guys are just like that sometimes."

"I guess," I said, "He does have a lot on his plate."

"Speaking of plates, I'm starving. Let's eat." Carla gave me a quick hug and a peck on the cheek and we sat down.

Carla ordered a spicy tuna roll and some veggie tempura to share. I got a seaweed salad and a California roll. We both had miso soup and green tea.

My cheek was warm where she kissed me. She was talking about Dan and about Dave and I heard Ellen's name once or twice. I nodded and made the appropriate noises, bit all I could think about was those big soft tits, and how wet her pussy was when I fucked her. Honestly, watching Dan do her was one of the hottest things I've ever seen.

"Steph?" Carla repeated what suddenly clicked in my head was my name.

"What? Oh sorry I got lost in thought for a moment." I hadn't been paying attention to her and I suddenly felt awful.

"So, what do you think?" she asked.

"Of what?" I struggled to recall what she was saying.

"My idea?" She gave me a hopeful look.

"What? Oh! Oh, yeah, sounds great!" I had no idea what it was. But I decided to roll with it.

"Goody! I'm so excited! Thank you!" Carla was simply glowing. It made ne happy to make her happy. After lunch she took me to several boutiques where we spent a lot of money. Most of the places catered to everyday wear. Nice, but not kinky or fetish. The last stop was a place called Noir Nights. It sold sexy toys, lingerie, and adult videos. The place definitely catered to the alt and kink community.

"We do a lot of business with these folks." Carla was saying, "They have an amazing selection of sexy underthings. Best part, I get a nice discount!"

The woman behind the counter was a cute blonde, her head half shaved, and several earrings in each ear, a pierced eyebrow and a gold stud in her nose. She was wearing a black corset and a sheer bra that left her breasts visible. I could easily make out the gold barbell nipple piercings through the sheer fabric. Tattoos covered her arms and shoulders.

"Hey Carla!" she said as we walked in.

"Hey Trish! My friend Steph and I are looking for some lingerie." Carla said with a flourish.

Trish looked me over. There was no doubt this was my kind of place, but I felt out of place wearing what I was wearing.

"What are you a C-cup? 32? 34?" Trish asked.

"Oh, I wish. I'm not really sure, this bra's got implants." I said.

"Trans?" She asked cautiously.

"Is it obvious?" I asked.

Tish laughed, "Oh no, not at all. Your voice gave it away a little, but not knowing your bra size was kind of a tell. Still, I was a little nervous asking, just in case I was wrong. Come on back, let's get you measured."

"Want me to tag along?" asked Carla.

"Please," I said, taking her hand.

The changing area was, to my surprise, unisex. The booths had a black curtain that could be closed for privacy. However, not every curtain was closed all the way. I got a glimpse of a topless a woman in one of the booths. Our eyes met, she smiled and waved.

"Modesty isn't usually an issue around here," Trish said. "We don't tolerate creepers or guys just looking to show off their junk, but other than that anything goes."

We got to an empty booth and the three of us went inside. Trish closed and hooked the curtain all the way.

"Oh, is that a Michael Kors?" she asked taking my coat.

"Yes. It's new."

"I like it." She said as she hung it on a hook. "Now the sweater."

I froze. I don't know why, but I did, but Trish thought it was funny.

"Am I measuring you for the bra or your implants?" She smiled. "You could just take your bra off and leave the sweater. I can step outside if you like."

"No, it's okay. I just zoned for a second." I pulled off the turtle neck. Under I had a nice lacy bra with gel implants. I took that off as well.

"Aww look at you!" Carla said, "you've got boobies!"

I blushed a little. My breasts weren't big, but they were definitely developing. Enough that a push up bra might give me some cleavage.

"Arms up." Trish said. I raised my arms and she wrapped a tape measure just under my nascent boobs. Then across my breasts.

"I'd say you're a 34 A, getting close to a B." She looked thoughtful for a moment, then added "I'll show you some Bs, and I'll get you some better inserts."

"Can I put my shirt on now?"

She smiled, "If you like. Or wander the store topless. We're cool with that too."

"Whacha got in a 38 double d?" Carla asked.

"Let's go look." Said Trish as I pulled my sweater on.

We looked around and Trish showed me several nice bras. I picked a few to try on. In both A and B cups. Then Carla and I went back to the changing rooms.

"Separate or together?" She asked.

"Together is fine." I might have been blushing a little.

Once inside we Carla closed the curtain, but left it a little open.

She looked at me, I shrugged and she smiled, "More fun this way."

I slipped out of my turtle neck and Carla quickly shed her sweater and bra.

"I'm in awe of your boobs." I said.

"Thank you!" She smiled and gave them a wiggle, "The girls thank you too."

I put on the first bra. A black and red lacy B cup. It had a spiderweb pattern and a little silver spider connecting the cups.

"I love it, but it's too big." I said.

"You'll grow into it." Carla said as she worked her way into a forest green lace bra. "It's adorable. I say get it."

"I like that one," I said once she had hers on.

"It's not very comfortable." She said still adjusting her breasts. "Though it does make the girls look good."

She took it off and caught me staring.

She leaned into close and whispered in my ear. "Don't turn around and don't look. Someone is watching. What to give them a little show?"

It took all my willpower not to look. I was a little embarrassed, but kind of turned on too. My heart was racing. Especially with Carla so close, her bare breasts nearly touching mine. Our faces were so close, her hair was touching my bare shoulder.

"What kind of show?"

She kissed me. Her lips were soft and full. I could taste the saki she had at lunch. She cupped my head in her hand and pulled me close. My heart was racing and I could hear the blood rushing through me. I hadn't kissed her that night at Hidden Drives. She had the gag in. Our tongues met and I surrendered to her.

Her left hand took my right and placed it on her breast. It was soft and full. I pinched her nipple and she let out a quiet moan. The sound sent shivers down my spine.

She grabbed my hair and pulled my head back. She began kissing my neck and down to my left breast. Her tongue teasing my nipple. She sucked and nibbled, licked then bit. Hard enough to elicit a gasp.

"Harder," I encouraged her and she bit harder. The pain was sharp and intense, but it did something else. It was like a wall burst. I felt things I'd buried since the accident.

I pushed her off me, she stumbled back and landed on the bench. I was on her in an instant. I straddled her, my hands held her face and I kissed her. I had a sudden need for her touch, her warmth, and her desire.

Her arms wrapped around me and pulled me close. I kept kissing her. She returned the kiss as passionately as I gave it. One of her hands found its way down the front of my slacks and found my cock. She gripped if firmly and her thumb rubbed in a circular motion just under the head. Electric waves of pleasure shot through me.

I moaned, too loudly. There was a sound from the curtain and it snapped me out of my frenzy.

"Sorry to interrupt," It was Trish, "I brought you more bras to try."

I stood up. There was blood on my tit where Carla bit me.

"That's hot, but you're going to need to clean that up before you try anything else on." Tish said with a smile.

Carla was still catching her breath.

"Wooo!" She laughed, "Wow, Steph! Wow!"

"Oh god, I'm so sorry." I wasn't sure who I was apologizing to more. Trish or Carla.

"Oh, you're good," Trish said with a smile, "I just don't want you bleeding in the merchandise."

"S'okay, I'm good." Carla said, getting up. Some of my blood had smeared on her tit. "Oh, maybe I should apologize to you. I think I bit you too hard." She wet her finger and used it to wipe off the blood, then licked her finger clean with a wink in my direction.

My breast really hurt and I took a good look at it. The bite marks were clearly visible and still oozing blood.

"Could I get a paper towel?" I asked Trish, and for the first time I noticed the topless woman, no longer topless, watching us from the hall. I gave her a wave and she waved back.

Trish appeared with wipes, a gauze pad and some medical tape.

"This will sting a little." She said as she wiped the wound clean. It did sting, but the pain was somewhat pleasurable. Trish treating my boob reminded me of Dan tending my ass after one of our sessions. I felt a wave of guilt and a sudden desire to see him.

"They're all nice, I'll take them all." I said to Trish and as I got dressed. "I'll pay for Carla's too."

"Oh, Sweety, you don't have to do that." Carla protested.

"Nonsense, I've got this. "I said, "Dan has no idea what he's really worth. He never spends his money. We got this, it's no problem."

"That's so sweet. So, we're still going to see you at the photo shoot, right? You promised."

"Photo shoot?"

"At Hidden Drives, Saturday?"

"Oh, yea, of course!"

"I'll be in the area getting stuff for the shoot. Why don't I pick you up at one?"

"Yea, sounds great!"

So now I knew what I agreed to do. It was something about a model backing out of a shoot for HD. I wasn't sure exactly what I'd agreed to, but I liked Dave and Carla. I'd find out when I got there.

I made the trip back to the Pinewood Rehabilitation Center and went straight to Dan's room. He was just finishing up physical therapy. The therapist wasn't Mark, it was one of the other therapists. A tall thin woman with an olive complexion and long black hair tied back into a braid.

She was wearing a mask so I couldn't see her face. I stayed outside and watched through the window. They were working on bending his knees. I could see the pain in his face and my heart broke watching him go through this.

I waited until they were finished, before going in.

"Stephanie! How was shopping? Am I broke now? Should we sell the house?" His smile was genuine, but I could see the pain it hid. He looked older. Smaller.

"I brought you something."

I handed him a white bag, and a cold coconut and lime Bai.

"Oh! Contraband! Hey, is this a BLT?" He looked shocked. "Is this veggie bacon?"

"No, it's real. I got it at Sammies." I smiled.

"Oh, my favorite!" He took a whiff, sighed. Then set it aside. "What's wrong Sweetie? I can see it in your face. And bacon? What's wrong?"

"I'm feeling a little lost and confused. I made out with Carla. In the changing room."

"Okay," He said, "and you're confused about your feelings towards her? Or you feel guilty about making out with her behind my back?"

"Something like that."

"Okay. So I'm okay with you taking care of your needs. We both know that I'm going to be stuck here for the next couple of months. There's no reason for you to pause your life. I don't want that for you. As long as you want me, I'm here. Come and go as you please, I'll be here for you."

"That's sweet, but I don't know if that's the answer I wanted."

"You wanted me to be jealous?" He said, "Because, believe me I am jealous. I wish I could have been there with you. I wish I could be the one kissing you. I wish I could have taken you shopping. Or to dinner. I'm angry that I can't be there for you. But I'm happy if you had a good time. Did you have a good time?"

I blushed. "Kind of."

He smiled at me, and gave me that look that made me feel validated. Important. Made me feel like a woman in love. I stepped closer and let him give me a one armed hug.

His left arm was still in a cast and both legs were in braces. I put my head on his barrel chest and put my arms around him. He felt so solid, strong and real. He put his good arm around me and I felt safe.

He started humming Lovesong by the Cure. Then in a surprisingly tender voice he sang:

"Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am young again

Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am whole again"

I groaned "Ugh, you are off key."

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked.

"No, never." I said and cuddled closer.

"However far away

I will always love you

However long I stay

I will always love you

Whatever words I say

I will always love you

I will always love you"

"God, you're such a goof." I said.

"Ellen used to say the same thing."

"She was a wise woman." I kissed him and he returned the kiss.

I wanted to take things further, but I could tell he was tired. PT took a lot out of him.

"How'd it go with Dr. Gupta?" I asked.

"Alright." He said.

"Just alright?" He was being evasive and I was calling him out.

"I'm suffering from moderate depression." He paused, then decided to be honest. "Moderate to severe depression. But I think we all knew that. She's going to prescribe some medication and I'm going to see a therapist, and there's group therapy on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"Carla wants me to come help with a photo shoot on Saturday." I said, changing the subject. Before he could ask me about my session with Michelle.

"Let me guess, it's a bondage shoot."

"I think it's for some stuff Dave made. Like another cross or something like that." I hadn't been paying close attention, but I had a vague recollection.

"He's going to try to turn it into a threesome." Dan said.

"Is that a problem?"

"Is that what you want?"

"I don't know."

His face softened, but he said nothing. I answered too quickly and he was giving me time to think.

"I'm really horny." I said with a blush.

Dan burst out laughing. I couldn't help but laugh with him. This was a laugh of pure joy.

"What?" I said, trying to stifle my giggling.

"I love you, you know that?" he said at last.

"I kind of figured that when you were singing your off key cover of Lovesong."

"It's alright with me as long as you're okay with it. I'm just sorry I can't join you." He was sincere. I don't know if Dan ever got jealous, but he for sure wasn't possessive.

"I'd rather fuck you " I said.

"I could always blow you, you know." He said with a grin.

"Well, I suppose it is your turn to get caught with a cock in your mouth." I closed the door and pulled the shade down.

Dan had the controller for the bed and was lowering it.

"Wow, that's convenient!" I said.

"Yeah, it's pretty nifty. I'm thinking of buying one for the house. Now c'mere." He said and I obeyed.

With his good hand he grabbed me and pulled me close. He pulled my sweater up enough to get to my belly and started kissing it. His beard tickled, but felt wonderful at the same time. I'd clearly been missing this. He reached a hand up under my shirt, I guided his hand to my right breast. He teased and pinched my nipple and I moaned quietly enjoying his attention.

He tried to move to my left breast but I intercepted it and moved it down to my belt. His hand was huge in mine, but very dexterous. He managed to unbuckle and unbutton my slacks without help.

He pulled my slacks down and exposed my black bikini panties. I was already hard. My little girl cock was nowhere near as big as the Monster. It was small, kept smooth and hairless. It curved upwards with a tapered tip. I often oscillated between loving and hating my girl cock. Right then I was loving it. It looked cute and girly.

Dan liked it too, he was already working on it with two fingers. Tingling waves of pleasure moved through me at his touch. Traveling down my inner thighs and up my spine.

"Oh Daddy, that feels so good." I whispered.

He pulled me closer, his right arm moving to the small of my back. He took me in his mouth, all the way, his tongue worked my shaft with quick licks while sucking. He began sucking and licking, up and down, pausing on my head to rapidly suck and suckle my gock head. Shivers rolled through me and my knees buckled, but even with one arm, he held me.

"Oh, fuck... Oh fuck..."

I was building rapidly to climax. Part of me wanted to wait, draw it out, but my nut sack was desperate for release. I wouldn't have been able to hold it even if I wanted to.

"Daddy, I'm cumming, I'm cumming Daddy" My orgasm didn't wait for me to finish, my load erupted from me and kept going. Dan didn't pause, he took my nut and kept working me. I felt like I was going to cum again and I think I did.

"FUCK!" I said way too loudly. Mercifully he let up, though he kept me in his mouth. Even after I finished ejaculating he held me in his mouth. It was so warm and wet, I let it stay there until I was fully soft and spent. Then with a last suck, and a lick he let me go.

"Better?" He asked?

"Much. What I really need is a good fucking." I said.

"I'm a little tired," he said, "but we could try tomorrow?"

"How?" I was skeptical. In his current condition I was pretty sure any sex act could be dangerous. "I'm afraid I'd hurt you."

"Yeah. That is a concern. We'll figure something out. In the meantime, go see Dave and Carla. Scratch that itch. Let me know how it goes."

"I'm still not sure." I said, "I want to, but I kind of wanted you with me."

"That's sweet," he smiled, "You're too young to be waiting for me. I want you to have fun and live wild while you can. I'll still be here for you."

"Too bad we can't just do it here." I said.

A stunned look crossed his face. "Maybe we could. I mean, why not? This isn't a regular hospital. The room is pretty big. We can't lock the door, but otherwise this is an apartment."

"You want to have an orgy, here?" I said, "Oh, yea, that'll be fine. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Lemme see what I can work out. I've got an idea." He said.

"What idea?"

"Someone who works here. Says his dick is bigger than mine."

"What? Who?"

"Parker."

"Who's Parker?"

"The big black orderly. Real nice guy. His little sister is trans."

I knew who he was talking about, he was hard to miss. Big was an understatement. Dan was 6'2", and Parker had several inches on him. He was good looking and seemed really nice.

"You want me to fuck him?"

"That's up to you two. Not gonna lie, I think it'd be hot."

"Did you ask him?"

He shook his head, "No, I wanted to talk to you about it first. No is an acceptable answer."

"Does he know I'm trans?" I didn't want to admit it, but the idea was turning me on. I think Dan knew it too.

"Sweetheart, after yesterday, everyone knows."

"Oh God!" I blushed.

Dan had the biggest dick I'd ever seen. Even soft, it was an impressive sight. When he was hard he was about 10 1/4 inches. (Yes we measured.) I'm proud to say I could deep throat the whole thing. It wasn't easy, but I could do it. I'd been using some pretty big dildos on my ass before I met Dan, so anal wasn't so difficult either.

The Idea of seeing, possibly playing with, a bigger dick did get me excited. I really missed having sex with Dan, but with both legs and his left arm out of commission, regular sex was out of the question. Maybe this would be the closest thing?

"Okay, let me meet him first. If he's cool with it and I'm comfortable with him, we could do something." I smiled. "As for Dave and Carla, you're okay if we mess around?"

"Yes. I think it's hot. You can tell me all about it afterwards. Maybe I'll do my special trick for you if I can" He winked.

I liked that idea. Dan was able to suck his own dick, he called it his "special trick". It was kind of a turn on watching him do it.

I hung out with Dan some more, but it was obvious he was getting tired.

He drifted off to sleep and I stepped out to grab some dinner.

The facility had a nice cafeteria that serves decent food, so I decided rather than go out I'd grab dinner there.

I'm a vegetarian, mostly. Sometimes I'll eat fish and very rarely chicken. Eggs and dairy are okay too. I have to get my protein somewhere. The cafeteria here usually has vegetarian and vegan options and today they had saag paneer, an Indian dish with spinach and paneer cheese. It was one of my favorites. It must have been part of a theme, because I noticed other Indian dishes. The chicken tandoori smelled amazing, they also had Tikka masala, and chana masala.

I passed on the chicken dishes choosing the saag and the chana. To drink I grabbed a mango lassi, paid and went searching for an empty table.

"Stephanie!" a voice called out and I saw Mark, Dan's physical therapist waving me over.

"Hi Mark!" I walked over and took the seat across from him.

He had the Chicken tandoori and a side of the saag on his plate. He'd clearly only just started eating.

"How's the tandoori?" I asked.

"Good. Not as good as the place by my house, but still really good."

"Smells good." I said. I took a bite of the saag, it was delicious. "Saag's good," I said, "What's the place by your house?"

"Curry Delight," he said, "over on Beck just south of Carrington."

"Oh, I'll have to give it a try." I said.

"So, how long have you and Dan been together?"

"A few months."

"I don't mean to pry," he said, "The age difference caught me by surprise. I hope I didn't offend you when I thought he was your father."

"No, I get it. It's not your typical relationship." I said, "No offense taken."

"How did you two meet?" he asked.

I'd just had a bite of my saag, so it took a bit before I could answer.

"I was working as a cashier, before I started my transition. He and I shared some interests in music and gaming. We became friends."

"This was before your transition?"

"Yea, Dan'd hang out and we'd talk music and we'd do some online gaming."

Mark nodded thoughtfully. Took a bite of his chicken. I could tell he was still curious, but cautious about prying too much.

"You want to know how we got together, don't you?"

His face reddened just a bit, and he fought not to smile. "Well, I am curious."

"I was still living with my ultra conservative parents. They caught me crossdressing and kicked me out. Dan took me in. He let me be me, the real me, and he made me feel like a woman."

Mark nodded. Took a drink to wash down his food. "I see. The age difference doesn't bother you?"

"That's a tricky question."

"What's so tricky about it?"

I thought about it for a moment. "It's complicated. I know it's a concern for both of us. We really need each other, but we both recognize that this isn't forever. We're definitely together, but we aren't exactly exclusive."

"Oh, like an open relationship?"

"Something like that." I said, "It's hard to explain."

"How's it working out?" he asked.

"Great, before the accident." I said, "A little different now."

"How so?" He asked, then he stopped himself, "I'm sorry, I'm prying too much. How's the spinach?"

"The saag is excellent, and honestly I don't mind you asking questions." I took a quick bite of the saag and washed it down with my lassi. "Dan always makes me feel good about myself. He makes me feel like a woman. He makes me happy and safe. Before the accident we had an amazing sex life. He once made me cum so hard I passed out.

"Since the accident we haven't really been able to have sex. I still love him, but it's started to feel more like he's the father I wish I had, and less like my lover. We still need each other, but the needs have changed. I don't know. Like I said, it's complicated. TMI?"

"Wow. I wasn't expecting such a blunt answer." He seemed surprised at my frankness, and honestly I was too.

"I'm sorry, am I over-sharing?" I asked.

"Not at all. I'm the one who asked."

"I want what we had back. I know he and I don't have forever, but I want a little more. I spent most of my life being someone that wasn't me, and Dan saw the real me from day one. I love the way he looks at me. He makes me laugh. I'm not ready to move on."

"I think I understand," he said. "You know, it's going to be a long time before he's walking again. If he walks again. It's going to take time. He's never going to have full use of his left arm. Rather than try to get back what you had, you should try to build a new normal. Things will never be the same, but that doesn't mean they won't be good."

"You're probably right." I said, "I'm just feeling cheated. It's not fair to wave this happiness in my face only to take it away."

"Happiness is still there. You just have to accept it."

"Thank you Mark. I think I knew that, but I needed to hear someone say it. I'm sorry to dump all of this on you like this, but I really appreciate you listening."

"Oh, Stephanie, any time. Really. It's not a problem. Dan's a lucky guy and you're an amazing woman. You both deserve better."

I don't know why he chose those words, but they hit me like a ton of bricks. I was sitting in Dan's kitchen, thinking my life was over. I was homeless, I'd lost everything I owned. I was at my lowest, begging for help from a man I barely knew. When Dan told me I deserved better, for the first time that night I felt safe. I felt everything would be alright.

All of my emotions, all of my feelings, everything suddenly bubbled up to the surface.

I started to cry. I mean ugly cry. I couldn't help it. Everything had been bottled up inside and I just couldn't hold it any longer.

"I'm sorry," I got up, not sure where I could go. I didn't want to go to Dan's room, not like this. Mark must have sensed my indecision. He stood up and moved to support me.

"Stephanie, are you okay? Was it something I said? My office is just around the corner if you'd like some privacy." I nodded and he led me out of the cafeteria and around the corner.

Dan had been doing PT in his room, but the facility had a Physical Therapy center within it.

It was a long rectangular room with an assortment of weights, exercise machines, and other devices. There were private rooms on the far side labeled "Hot Tubs".

Mark's office was near the front, and he quickly led me in. It was a decent size, a modest desk at one end, immaculately kept with a small computer sitting on it. Some file cabinets, a couple of chairs, two potted plants, a fighter and a ficus, and a large couch rounded out the décor.

Mark led me in, opened a second door leading to a full bathroom.

"You can clean up here. Take your time. I'll be right here if you need me."

The worst of my crying had subsided, but I still wasn't able to say anything coherent so I went in and shut the door behind me.

The bathroom was a surprise. It had a full tub and a shower. A potted palm sat next to the toilet.

A pair of small light blue shag mats, one by the top the other in front of the sink, sat on a checkered white and blue floor.

The toilet cover matched the mats, and everything was sparkling clean.

I took a look in the mirror and didn't recognize the face staring back. Her make up was a mess, her blue eyes were red and wet. Her hair at least was still presentable. Thick and black, pulled back into a ponytail. Dan was convinced I dyed my hair, but I didn't. It was one of my favorite features.

Slowly the woman in the mirror stopped crying. I sat there looking at her. I wiped my face, her motions mirroring mine. I removed the smeared eyeliner, and the smudged makeup. I even removed the lipstick, wiping it off.

The face staring back looked more familiar. She reminded me a little of Eric, but not in a bad way. I let my hair down the curls bouncing free, framed my face and I liked what I saw. I reapplied my eyeliner, chose a darker lipstick. I was very happy with the result. Stephanie was a very pretty girl. I decided I liked her very much. She did deserve better. I dried my remaining tears. I still had a raw ache in my chest and I wasn't entirely sure why. Clearly I had a lot of unresolved emotions.

The girl in the mirror was looking much better, and I was feeling better. She smiled at me as I smiled at her. None of this was fair, but she was strong and resilient, and I was going to be just like her.

I walked out of the bathroom to find Mark sitting at his desk, doing some work on the computer.

"Thank you Mark, I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me."

He looked up and his jaw dropped. I stood frozen, waiting for him to do or say something. Panic hit me, I was worried I did or said something wrong.

"Stephanie, you look.. wow. Sorry, How are you feeling? You're looking better, not that you looked..."

He was stumbling over himself and I suddenly realized he was embarrassed. It hit me that he thought I was pretty.

"I'm feeling much better, thank you." I smiled and he smiled wider. He stood up and came over.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he said, recovering his composure.

"I've taken up enough of your time. Besides I think. I've embarrassed myself enough for one night." I said.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm just sorry I triggered something." He said. "I really didn't mean to pry, I was just really enjoying our conversation."

"I was too," I said, "Next time though, maybe we talk about you. I bet you're a lot more interesting than I am."

'I doubt that," he said, "but you're on. How about a real dinner at a real restaurant?"

"Mark, are you asking me out?"

"Well," he said, with a sly grin, "I heard a rumor you were in an open relationship. It doesn't have to be a date. It could just be two friends getting to know each other."

"If it's not a date, what did you have in mind?"

"Dinner at Curry Delight. Saturday?"

"I have a photo shoot on Saturday." I said, "Friday?"

"I'm going out with some friends." He said, "You could join us? Grabbing some beers, watching some football?"

"Can I think about it?"

He grabbed a business card off of his desk. "Call my cell. Let me know. If not we could do dinner after your shoot. What kind of photo shoot? If you don't mind my asking?"

"It's a kink shoot for some friends. Is that a problem?"

"Not on my end," he said, "Call me when it's done if you like. Dinner offer still stands, and I hope to see you Friday."

"Thank you Mark," I gave him a quick hug, which he returned, "Again I'm so sorry, I'm just still processing everything. My therapist is going to get rich off of me."

"Stephanie, please, it's alright. No need to apologize."

It was after 7 when I got back to the room. Dan was still sleeping. He looked so old laying there. I just wanted it to be like before. He seemed to be so big, strong and solid. Like nothing could hurt me while he held me. It occurred to me that he'd never really be able to hold me again. Now it was my turn to hold him and protect him. I didn't know if I was up for it, but I knew I'd try.

In the meantime it was important to take care of myself. Dan told me that if I wanted to be Stephanie I had to start being Stephanie. If I wanted to be independent, I had to start being independent. It occurred to me that I didn't have to stop being here for Dan. That's what he'd been trying to tell me. I'm too young to wait for him, but that doesn't mean I have to leave him.

So, I resolved to go out with Mark and his friends on Friday, then Saturday do the shoot with Carla and Dave and not feel guilty. Maybe do the Parker thing for Dan. I didn't have to feel guilty.

I knew I would anyway, but maybe I could make it work.

That's going to wrap it up for part 4. Next chapter expect sex. Lots of sex. Oh and drama. And Bondage. Please rate and comment, or send me a message. Your feedback is important. Also, I have a Ko-Fi, drop me a buck or three if you are so inclined. As always, thanks for reading! See you for chapter 5!