Split Tree Resort Remodeled 02

Split Tree Resort Remodeled 02

[The three purple Mini Coopers pull up, single file in the resort's circle driveway and calmly come to a stop and as expected, the three Purple Preppies, Purple Preppie Paula, Purple Preppie Patti and Purple Preppie Piper exit their respective Mini Coopers. Oh, and each has a passenger too]

"[Ding, ding, ding] mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm! But we're not stuck-up bitches, so what?"

"[Tap, tap, tap] hello, I'm Coo-Coo and I'm usually Coo-Coo from the Coco counter in the Community Hut, but today I'm temporarily filling in at the front desk for Twiddle Dee and I've heard that someday I might find the perfect boyfriend date who is Goo-Goo over my teeny Coo-Coo's and that might happen this weekend since I expect the Purple Preppies as Daphne's at the Velma party will have so many casts off that it will be my choice. And since I can already tell that the lovely young ladies behind you are your slightly younger sisters, the pre-preppies, I assume, so, shall I address their needs first, hmm? I have a sticky note that says that would be the polite thing to do, so?"

"Mm-hmm, of course, Coo-Coo and a big shout out to your sticky note content creator and we'll start following him or her right away on social media. And the back story is that we cramp their style and they cramp our style, even though our age gaps are not that big. Anyways, they are all approaching 19 and need shoes money and they rode along to inquire about any possible jobs on the weekends, so, go all 'tap, tap, tap' and say 'thanks, but not at this time' and we'll send home in on of our Mini Coopers, so, go ahead, Coo-Coo get all "tap, tap, tap' and let them down gently. Also, they are the pre preppie CB's, the Cerulean Blue's and nobody is jealous of their color choice, so?"

"[Tap, tap, tap] mm-hmm, since it's Thursday and basically just a staffers bonfire dance party tonight, Bar-B-Que Quinn could use three hamburger runners and they can interview with Twiddle Dee in the morning for other weekend work, so? Also, if it doesn't pan out, the resort recently purchased a passenger cargo van from the airport and we'll get them home safely so you three Purple Preppies don't have to give up one of your cars, so?"

"[Purple Preppie Paula] yeah but, yeah but, but, but our party is an internet blow out and sold out and you heard me say that we cramp each other's style, so, 'tap, tap, tap' again because there shouldn't be cabins available, Coo-Coo!"

"[Tap, tap, tap] oh, since I'm struggling to find a boyfriend date and I'm ready looking into rescuing six cats and purchase a walking aid walker, I mean, my cabin has two normal beds and you know, and three Murphy Beds in the rear wall in a row, you know, like a military barracks coed sleeping, so?"

"[Pushes through the half circle line of Purple Preppies] hi, I'm CB Christy and just where do we plop our luggage down for the weekend and just what would a few prep preppie CB hamburger runners wear at a bonfire dance party Bar-B-Que, we ask, Coo-Coo, who will absolutely find a boyfriend date that will be more than Goo-Goo for your diamond pointed Coo-Coo's, hmm?"

"[Tap, tap, tap] well, CB Christy, it's a pond with a small beach, so, duh, regular evening beachwear, like maybe cute cerulean blue bikinis, with or with a sarong wrap, so?"

"Mm-hmm, now you can go all 'tap, tap, tap' and hit 'enter' Coo-Coo and point us in the direction of your cabin with all these military barracks Murphy's beds in a row because we're most certainly staying the night, mm-hmm. Also, is there a staffer available to lower the beds for us, hmm?"

"[Tap, tap, tap] I mean, just be a true prep preppie Cerulean Blue, CB, CB Christy, by raising your smooth hand 19 years old hand and snap your fingers three times like you own it, duh!"

"Well, somebody should put that in the resort's brochure! [Snap, snap, snap]"

"[Up whirls a golf cart and goes beep, beep] yes, ma'am, I'm Jeff and I'll be just outside waiting for you in case there was anything that you needed from the giftshop and the giftshop carries extra sexy stuff behind the counter and the new girl, Giftshop Gwen, will be happy to help you and I promise to not peek in your shopping bags because I'm always in trouble here at the resort anyways, so?"

"Well, that was fast because..."

"[Tap, tap, tap] to my cabin and pull the Murphy Bed's down, Jeff, next!"

"Oh, um, your cabin then, Coo-Coo, I mean, am I off of probation to not go within 20 feet of your cabin now, Coo-Coo?"

"[Tap, tap, tap] damn! OMG, Jeff, I'm so sorry that I forgot to tell you that we caught the stalker who kept leaving notes on my Coco counter in the Community Hut asking me to release a whip cream bikini pic and after Twiddle Dee reviewed the security camera footage, I mean, and as it turns out, it was Whip Cream William and not you! Which is why we now have a Whip Cream Wendy working in kitchen, so, oops, my bad, but you're totally innocent and still cute when you comb your hair!"

"Oh, good, thanks, hey, wait a minute, Coo-Coo, is that why Billy seems to have disappeared into thin air because..."

"[Tap, tap, tap] next! Next, next, next! Someone with no questions, next!"

[A few hours later after dusk and after the afternoon's emotions cooled off. And that's right, Coo-Coo did take a mirror whip cream bikini selfie, but hasn't leaked it out yet. As far as we know. Because we've literally looked everywhere online]

"[Looks down at the plate] really, BBQ Quinn, two cheeseburgers per plate for each male stud, I mean, each male staffer?"

"Well, CB Christy, these male staffers burn a lot of calories and guys eat a lot in general, so, yeah. Oh, and if this plate is for Jacob, I mean, he's not your type, but that guy is a freak over his pickles, so, load the guy up a lot (giggles) and give me a wink when you find your type and we'll sweeten the plate with a joint, right there [finger pokes] between your almost 20 cerulean blue boobs, next, next, next!"

"That's me, CB Carrie and you, BBQ Quinn, think we're being shy because we're just barely 19, don't you, hmm [holds out empty plate]?"

"[Slide, plop, slide plop] are each of you CB's wearing a cerulean blue bikini thong under your normal pond beach cerulean blue bikini cut bikini bottoms, hmm? Step 1, men eat a lot, step 2, men sleep a lot, step 3, men think about sex every 11 minutes, step 4, men are actually good for a few things, step 5, men pass out over bare booty buns and step 6, I mean, you're at a resort, for Pete's sakes, next!"

[Well, well, well, the formerly shy pre preppie CBs took that hint well enough and took a chance. Well, they took the bait anyways and dropped their normal cut bikini bottoms and huh, in perfect sync!]

"[CB Charlotte] well, fine, that's done now and we're quite exposed, mm-hmm. Anyways..."

[It's like all those glowing eyes in the dark when you know they are all on you]

"Anyways, I'm CB Charlotte and what's up with Coo-Coo struggling to find a boyfriend date when this place is crawling with such handsome and fit male staffers, hmm?"

"[Slide, plop, slide plop] oh, Twiddle Dee has a very strict policy over staffers mingling and mixing it up, since, you know, that always brings the drama and rocks over the applecart. I mean, it's kind of like the fancy sign that you probably saw near the cabin's bathroom earlier, that should say 'wash your hands', but says something different like..."

"(Giggles) oh, you mean the bathroom door wall sign that says 'coed showering is strictly prohibited because people think they can do it and then they can't, XOXO, Twiddle Dee Tried It and Twiddle Dee Didn't Make It, mm-hmm', that sign?"

"(Giggles) exactly, CB Char-Char! But there's no rule about the girlfriend standing outside of the shower while washing their boyfriends back. Or his front, whatever. Oh, and if your plate of burgers is for Ethan, I mean, that guy thinks it's a myth that too much mustard will dry out one's blood, so, just like Ethan later tonight, squirt, squirt, squirt (giggles) it out."

"Oh, okay because I think Ethan and myself on a track anyways [squeeze squirt, squeeze squirt...]"

"Try spanking it out, CB Char-Char, you know, since the two of you are on a track."

"[Spank, squirt, spank, squirt, spank, squirt, spank...]"

[Several gasping staffers from the near distance, including that guy Ethan]

"[That guy Ethan] OMFG, I mean, CB Charlotte, I mean, I mean, are those cheeseburgers 'to go' because I mean, they should be to go because I'm asking, are those burgers to go?"

"(Giggles) go, CB Char-Char because that even turned me on a little, especially back dropped with your spanking shaking CB booty, go, next!"

[CB Christy is back for another plate of burgers and seems pretty giddy]

"[CB Christy] alright everyone who still needs a plate, gather around because I think I'm getting the hang of this now. [Quick hand waves this guy, Howie, over for a closer look] Ready BBQ Quinn?"

[The gathering crowd also includes staffers who already have a plate and that's okay]

"[BBQ Quinn] call it out, CB Christy, say it loud and say it proud."

[CB Christy gets the beat going in her head and with her feet]

"Ump, ump, two slip sliding Sliders, right side up, flip them face down and back to top side up, ump, ump, double that cheese, if you please, one slice high and one slice low, ump, ump, make a circle with the pickles from the left to the right and cap them with a tomato like it was flung from a tornado, ump, ump, I like Howie, so I booty bumped him on the hip and he promised back that we could a skinny dip, ump, ump..."

[All of a sudden, Howie starts elbowing his way to the front of the gathering and panting crowd because waiting two hours after eating before taking a swim might be over rated]

"Salt & pepper, pepper & salt, if you can't get it right, it's not my fault, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, spin that plate like you're DJ Pout and ask me when I had braces taken out, ump, ump, shake that ass, smack that ass, spank that mustard twice and then once more because that dang mustard just won't pour, ump, ump, crisscross, crisscross, crisscross those bacon strips like a Coo-Coo band aid bra and get ready for a brawl because I bet the guys went Goo-Goo over Coo-Coo's tiny Coo-Coo's..."

[Oh, Coo-Coo liked that glow up shout out and started dancing in the sand with her bare feet like a kooky crazy woman who actually had a weekend boyfriend date]

"Skip, skip, skip the onions for today, hold the lettuce and forget the bun toothpick because someone might get a lick, lick, slurpy lick, forget the refreshing green mint and surprise my boo with a cerulean blue wrap or two, holla, holla, holla, because Howie might get a zowie tonight, whoop, whoop, walking on the beach sand and flirting with our toes because us pre preppie CB's are not nasty Ho's, clap my hands, clap my hands because he might have me screaming like we're at a battle of the bands..."

[And the crowd really starts to close the gap. And gasp.]

"Are my man's burgers done yet, because him being hungry is a pretty good bet and I know he's my man and there's no fear of a wham, bam, thank you ma'am, Ba-boom, Ba-boom, Ba-boom and if his burgers are still on the grill, then Howie gets a free pass to watch BBQ Quinn give everyone a booty bouncing grilling thrill, ump, ump, ump..."

[Huh, all of a sudden, Bar-B-Que Quinn's booty starts to rattle a little more and as always, always, always, all of the male staffers share a free pass because...]

"But dare I say it, NOT, with the eyes of a trained robot, ooh-la-la, mm, mm, mm, I got moves, I got my groves, flip those burgers, two by two and say something nice about my new resort hairdo, I got sass and I got ass and all we need for the ATV is a little gas, ooh-la-la, ooh-la-la, now it's time, the time has come where BBQ Quinn, stabs, stabs, stabs my developing cleavage in the middle with that big fat doobie that was promised me and smirk back at me with a big glee as the stabbing begins, Quinn..."

[BBQ Quinn had a smirking smile before she grabbed the big fat doobie, but that's okay because just as long the big fat doobie got stabbed in the cleavage valley, it's all good]

"Gather around, bring it in tight, mm, mm, mm, and post your lewd photos of me now before I take a bow, ooh-la-la, mm, mm, mm..."

[Photo snap, post! Photo snap, post! Photo snap, post! Photo snap, post! Photo snap, post!]

"Ooh, ooh, ooh, if our cabin's middle Murphy Bed is a rocking, don't bother knocking, Ba-Ba-Ba, our morning coffee service server might be shocked, but hands off of man because I have him on lock, the burgers are done and I have won, whoop, whoop, whoop, and be jealous bitches because he's getting in my britches and this is where I say so long to my bikini sarong! Ta da [takes a curtsy bow towards the heavily breathing crowd], BBQ Quinn, order in!"

[And the crowd of staffers and resort guests erupt in applause and hooping and hollering and for some reason, more than a few people raised their hands to reorder their bonfire meals! Well, half of the crowd because the other half briefly passed out, including Howie]

"[Raises hand] I mean, my burgers were perfect, but it seems like I should reorder anyways!"

"[A perfectly good plate of burgers gets flung like a frisbee] um, I'm waiting for my burgers!"

"[Frantically waving hand] is my order next?"

[And on and on and on and who wouldn't want to attend literally any of the resort's bonfires, huh?]

"[BBQ Quinn giggles] well played, CB Christy, well played [poke, poke, firmly stabs that promised big fat doobie smack dab in the middle of her pre preppie developing cleavage], order ready for pick up, Howie! Oh, but the resort only has boring ass regular blue condoms, ahem, but I'm sure you'll make do with your pre preppie boo tonight, right?"

[Oh, Howie was still shaking it off as he came around from being briefly passed out, but he would surely make do with boring ass blue. And don't worry about the three Purple Preppies because they had their fair share of bonfire attention and they still rule the Strip up in the big city of Middleton and they even gave their pond beach admirers a free eye ball pass when the slightly younger sisters came around with plates of cheeseburgers, so. Oh, and because Coo-Coo is kooky crazy and a good pond beach dancer, she always carries her resort tablet with her]

"[Tap, tap, tap] mm-hmm, I'll meet with Twiddle Dee in morning and update the resort's safe sex color selections and [tap, tap, tap] to buy more band aids because I've never had a personalized shout out before, which means [tap, tap, tap] we're having a kooky band aid bra party in the near future and I'm sending out the invites as I 'tap, tap, tap' type and whoever is up next (giggles), sing rap more about me because that's what Twiddle Dee would say! Next!"

End Split Tree Resort Remodeled 02