The Empowered Cuckold

Ours started out like many cuckold relationships do. It had been close to a year since my longtime girlfriend Alexandra and I first talked about her fucking someone else, but only three weeks ago that it got real. All those months we teased each other with the idea, fueling our passion with the fantasy of another man. It was my fantasy at first, and she had to drag it out of me. I was so afraid she'd be disgusted by my shameful desire.

Once I confessed it to her and she saw how powerful it was for me, she played along. In time, she started to get off on it too. It soon became a regular part of our sex life, and it might have stayed a fantasy forever, if not for Alex. I'll always remember that moment, when everything changed. She had us both wound up so tight, teasing me while she stroked my leaking dick.

"You know you'd love it Kevin... watching me getting railed by a real man. His big, fat cock stretching me wider than I've ever been before. Resizing me to be his woman."

I groaned and nodded as I started to slide toward the edge.

"Say it! Tell me what you want, Kevin! Admit it!"

She stroked me faster and I could feel the pressure building.

"Yes! I want to see you get fucked by a bigger cock than mine! I want to beat my meat while you come on the cock of a real man! Yes! Yeessss! Aaaaaahhh!"

I spurted all over my stomach and her hand. It wasn't that unusual. Sometimes it was me who fingered her while we talked. Other times we masturbated together to the thought of it. This time it just happened to be me. Maybe it should have been her -- maybe then she wouldn't have been left so frustrated. I know she said it out of exasperation,

"My God, you're such a little pussy!"

I was taken aback, and immediately feeling hurt and confused.

"Whaaat?" I whined plaintively. "Why, because I get off on the idea of you fucking another man?"

"No, because you don't have the balls to come out and ask me to do it for real!"

Her words hung in the air too long. I didn't know what to say. I thought it was just a fantasy. We were just playing a game. I guess I didn't think about how it would affect her.

"Is that what you want? You want me to ask you to fuck another man?"

I was hoping maybe it was just another small step in the game. I'd ask her, just so she would feel empowered by me giving her permission. I realized I was wrong when she answered,

"No. Not another man. A man. And yes, I want you to ask me. Because I want to do it."

She left to go to the bathroom, where I heard her muttering as she washed my spooge off her hand. I felt a hard pit in my stomach, and was grateful that she couldn't see my tears. It took me nearly a week of struggling before I spoke the fateful words. When I did, her impatience with me melted like ice cream on pavement in midday July.

* * * * * * * *

She brought Nick home a week later. He was her ex, from back before I ever met her. I have a vivid recollection of that first visit; just before he took her into our bedroom. Right from the start, he made it clear that he knew what I was about. He got up close, and face-to-face told me,

"I want you to watch me take your woman... right in front of you. And if you're honest, you'll admit you want it too."

So, he knew me from jump street. Alex hadn't told me much about him, usually dismissing him with terse comments whenever I asked. Things like "he wasn't capable of a long-term relationship", or "he was just a good time, a fling. He meant nothing to me." I'm sure it was all true, but it left out a couple important things. Big things... like his big thing.

Yes, Nick was hung; longer than me, and more importantly, substantially thicker. He had the kind of cock most guys dream of having. I've come to the conclusion there are four types of guys in this world: those who've got it swinging between their legs, those who want it swinging between their legs, those who want it in their mouths, and those who've never thought about it. That last category breaks down further if you start examining why they've never thought about it, but denial usually plays a big part.

So, like I said, there was his big thing; but there was also the way he used it. Sure, Nick is bigger than me... okay, way bigger than me; but he also fucks better than me. It took me a while to realize how different he and I were in that respect.

When I have penetrative sex with Alexandra, it always felt incredible. And try as I might to focus on her and try to bring her along on the ride, I always succumbed to her beauty and the caress of her silky pussy on my desperately hard little dick. I simply can't control my passion; I tell myself it's because I love her so much.

She says that's why she loves sex with me; because it's always so tender. She still lets me inside her, but the physical experience is mainly for me. She holds me tight, both arms and legs wrapped around me, like she's trying to pull me farther inside her. It's always amazing for me, and she genuinely seems to enjoy it.

I do my best to give her orgasms as well, with my mouth and my fingers. They may not be earth-shattering orgasms, but she says they get the job done. What I have come to realize is, it's more like they take the edge off. They give her enough to be satisfied... for a while. Until that need builds up again. That need for something bigger.

That's where Nick comes in. Nick the dick. Although I never call him that out loud. I did say it once to Alexandra. She shut me down right away, told me that was disrespectful, and I was never to say it again. In time, I came to realize she was right. The moniker still comes to mind on rare occasions when I feel slighted somehow, but I never let it escape my lips.

But I digress. Back to the way he uses it. It took me awhile, watching them together, before I realized what he did. Their first few couplings were so incredibly hot that I was overwhelmed. But eventually I orgasmed early, and in my post-nut clarity, I saw what he does, what I can't. He is somehow able to remove himself from the action, just enough to keep from being pulled along with my girlfriend as she rides a sexual rollercoaster.

I guess you can develop that ability from an early age, when you're that well-endowed. When the first time you stick it in, the girl has to struggle to accommodate you, before you even start moving. When she trembles and quivers from just the feeling of being stuffed so full, before you even start to move in her. It gives you time to think; to figure things out.

And Nick watches my girlfriend carefully, like a delicate instrument that he's playing; always learning how to play her better, each time he picks her up. He always lets her start, to get use to him slowly. It's probably easier to maintain control in those circumstances, I'll never know. But he can also keep it together while he's giving her a solid fucking. I don't understand how he does that, even though I see it all the time. Only when she's reaching her limit does he give himself over completely, allowing himself to fully enjoy my girlfriend. And that's something I never grow tired of watching. What can I say? I admire the man.

Even when he surrenders and appears to be swept up in the passion, he can still manage to control things. I'll never forget the first time he took her, after he had put her through multiple orgasms. He still had the awareness to cement his place in the new hierarchy. When he spoke to her, he almost sounded angry, his intensity bordered on frightening.

"Tell your husband what I'm about to do. Tell him I'm going to shoot my seed into you. Tell him there's not a goddamn thing he can do to stop me. Tell him!"

His words did something to me, something I'll never be able to undo. And it kindled something in Alexandra, something that's grown steadily ever since.

"Oh baby... he right! He's close, and he's not going to pull out! I don't want him to, and you can't make him! He's taking all of me, and you're just sitting there watching him do it! You pathetic little cuck!"

I've read it many times, the woman makes love with her boyfriend or husband; her bull fucks her. In that respect, we do have a traditional cuckold relationship. But she didn't just surrender us to him. She's a strong woman, and she stands up for herself. Good thing, since I never do. She told Nick what her and I agreed to, right from the start. How I would be allowed to do something most cucks were denied. I was allowed to touch myself.

So now here I am, thinking how odd it is, watching my girlfriend getting fucked from behind by another man in our bed. Sorry, I keep forgetting; not another man; the only man here, Nick. And she was thoroughly enjoying it. Enjoying both him, and me. His cock, and my angst.

But what struck me as odd is, as desperate as I was to jerk off, I was denying myself the pleasure, because I didn't want to distract them. They were just so perfect together; so damn provocative, raw and passionate. I knew what would happen as soon as my willpower crumbled, and I touched myself.

But Nick lasted so long, and my sexy girlfriend always took everything he gave her. It didn't matter if, when, or how many times she orgasmed. The ride lasted until Nick's cock erupted. And sometimes, well beyond that. I knew I couldn't keep my hands off my miserable little dick for that long.

Like I said, it wasn't forbidden. I wasn't in a chastity cage. The only rule was, I had to repeat my phrase over and over, as long as I was masturbating. And so, dick in hand, I began to chant my shameful refrain,

"I have a tiny penis..."

I stroked myself and looked at them hungrily, as a starving man would look at a table piled high with delicious food.

"I have a tiny penis..."

They were beautiful, lost in the throes of their passion. I picked up the pace, and before long I was furiously polishing my pecker.

"I have a tiny penis..."

Alex looked at me and smiled, then Nick paused his plowing to join her.

"I have a tiny penis..."

I was close, but then they burst out laughing. Just what I didn't want, just what I was afraid would happen. I wanted to spurt to the sight of their hot coupling. Instead, my head is spun around from getting off on their raunchy fucking, to drowning in my shame and humiliation. Don't get me wrong, both feelings are incredibly stimulating. But a car can be driven in both forward and reverse; doesn't mean you want to be barreling down the highway when you throw it in 'R'.

"Aaawww, cucky... you don't have to stop. Go ahead; you tug that little thing and make your mess. You know we don't mind."

It was sweet of her - unless it was evil; but either way, the moment was over. I could've continued and would have spurted in no time, but my orgasms were a precious thing to me. I was usually only good for one during their sessions. If I blew now, it would miss out on the intensity, and I'd be left to watch them without being able to enjoy it the way I wanted. So, releasing my grip, I apologized for interrupting them.

"Okay, sweetie; suit yourself."

She clearly wasn't going to let it ruin anything for her. Looking back to Nick, she said,

"Now give me more of that big dick, you fucking stud!"

I returned my hands behind my back and watched Nick give my girlfriend what she wanted. What I couldn't give her. I waited for the signs of her impending orgasm, for her to be distracted by it. I tried to mentally edge myself, preparing to race her to the top before she recovered enough to witness my humiliation.

I could see it building inside her. She started breathing deep, sucking in air like a skindiver breaking the surface after too long underwater. I tried to follow, but she had a head start. He must be hitting somewhere special. Certainly, somewhere I'd ever reached. All I could do was grab hold of myself and try to catch up.

"I have a tiny penis... I have a tiny penis... I have a tiny penis..."

My girlfriend's eyes shut tight, and her wails of ecstasy masked my shameful chanting; but Nick saw my lips moving as my hand flew over my dicklette. He smiled approvingly, and I felt strangely comforted in the knowledge that he was keeping me honest. In fact, with my girlfriend completely lost in her own world, it almost felt like I was coming for him.

"I have a tiny penis..."

My pelvis lifted off the chair, my throat constricted, and my breath quivered in my spasming lungs. My final chant was little more than a pathetic whimper.

"I have a tiny penis!"

I came hard onto the floor and collapsed back in the chair. Nick looked at the scattered drops and smiled. It was a first, him and me sharing something like that. It was weird, and oddly satisfying. I had pleased him, even as my girlfriend's sweet pussy convulsed on his cock.

When Alex finally came around and looked my way, her exhausted expression softened and she too, smiled at me.

"Was it good for you too, cucky? Did you make it this time?"

"It was good." I panted. "It was real good."

"That makes two of us. Now sit there and watch Nick take what he needs from me. Watch him treat your woman like the hole I want to be for him."

Her words inflamed Nick, giving him all the license he needed. He grabbed her ass tight, and began to pummel her pussy without regard for her pleasure. It became purely animalistic. He rutted into her, and she was thrown back and forth on his fuck stick as he pounded her from behind. He came with a roar that I feared the neighbors would hear, not that I could do anything about it.

A minute after collapsing beside her, he went to take a shower; leaving my exhausted girlfriend on the bed, rode hard and put up wet. This would be where the traditional cuckold fulfills his main purpose. But like I said, this relationship isn't traditional, not only am I not in chastity, I'm also not a clean-up cuck. I crawled into bed next to her to snuggle. I lovingly stroked her spent body as she tried to comfort me.

"I'm sorry Kev... that "pathetic" just kind of slipped out, you know? I got carried away in the heat of the moment. I was just trying to please Nick. I wasn't trying to be mean..."

"It's okay honey, I understand. It's important to make it as good as possible for him. He deserves it. I don't blame you at all. He gives you so much, it's the least we can do."

Even though it was her who said the words, in my mind I was helping, by not objecting to being belittled. By going along, like the weak little beta bitch I knew I was. It still amazed me, how far we had come in such a short time.

I never wanted to be one of those cuckolds who was never allowed to get an erection because he had his dick locked up. No sir, no chastity cage for me. My greatest desire was to jerk off while watching my girlfriend get fucked. And not just jerk off, I wanted to come hard; no ruined orgasms for this cuck. I was an empowered cuckold. It was central to the lifestyle I wanted to live.

Nick had more traditional ideas about how to make a cuckold relationship work. It led to quite a negotiating session. He was adamant that they needed to control my orgasms, even if my penis was allowed to remain free. I had read all I could about the cuckold dynamic, and I grudgingly allowed that orgasm denial was a huge motivational element. It was Alex who came up with the compromise.

I would be allowed to get hard anytime, even touch myself whenever I wanted, but I could only enjoy orgasms when they allowed it. I had to get permission to orgasm. They wouldn't always grant it, but she promised they'd be fair. I trusted her, not only because she loved me and was a fair-minded person, but because I knew how much she enjoyed seeing me get off.

Nick was still hesitant, pointing out that cucks were caged for a reason, that being that they couldn't be trusted. I insisted I was trustworthy; he maintained that I was weak, and the threat of a grave penalty was needed. I promised that if either of them ever caught me coming without permission, I would be caged immediately. No excuses, no bargaining and no second chances. I didn't see it as a problem, I wanted this and knew I could be trusted.

I even got them to agree that exceptions would be granted if I ever managed to have a hands-free orgasm. I saw it as a safety clause in case they withheld permission too often, but that kinda backfired on me when Nick said,

"What's to stop him from surreptitiously touching himself, then claiming immaculate ejection anytime we noticed the evidence? I don't want to have to constantly keep an eye on him when I'm in the middle of a good fuck."

He had a point. That's when Alex proposed my jackoff phrase. The initial idea was simply to have myself announce that I was wanking whenever I touched it, so I couldn't falsely claim later that it had been hands-free.

It only took a few of their fuck sessions before they got bored with hearing me say "I'm touching myself", or the other few anodyne phrases I tried out. Alex already knew I got off on humiliation, so suggested my phrase be something embarrassing for me to say. She tried out several on me during one memorable night when we were alone. "I have a tiny penis" was the head-and-shoulders winner, and I have to admit, I loved it.

* * * * * * * *

So that's how we got to where we are now. We're not so different, Nick and me. Both of us get our dicks milked. It's just that I'm using my hand, while he's using my girlfriend's pussy. I get to sleep with her on the weeknights, he gets her on the weekends. He says he can't go more than 2 or 3 days in a row without sex, so he stops by our house for a fuck somewhere around the middle of each week, but he doesn't spend the night, only staying long enough to get what he needs.

Today is what Alex refers to as a recuperation day. I see what Nick puts her through, so I understand. Tonight, she's going out dancing with "the girls". None of them are under 28, so "the girls" are really all women. My girlfriend is very pretty, and for whatever damn reason, a woman's adult friends tend to cluster within a few points on the scale of 1-10; much like it was in high school. Which is to say, all Alex's friends are each quite attractive in their own right. It could also be that I'm a bit of a horn-dog; but only because as a beta, I'm painfully aware of my limitations.

Usually, her friends drop by just long enough to say hi to me, then they all pile into one car and go out dancing; one rotating designated driver and 4 ladies looking to cut loose. I don't even worry about Alex when they're out. I know she's got her hands full with Nick, and I'm there to fill in whenever she gets the odd urge. Well, not literally fill in, but at least substitute and kneel.

Far from worrying, I look forward to her nights out. She always comes back happy, sometimes with great stories to tell about the girls who happen to be on the prowl on any given night. And I get to see them beforehand when their provocative outfits and perfect makeup are fresh. I see them at their best, and I take my little mental images for replay later.

Tonight, they showed up dressed to kill, as usual; they just didn't leave right away. They parked themselves in the living room and began hushed conversations. The snippets I overheard sounded like gossip, but it really wasn't my concern, and I tried not to eavesdrop. Alex said they would be going out later, and that in the meantime I should serve drinks, which I was more than happy to do. Getting to approach and serve each of them individually, while they were showing off their most tantalizing assets, was quite a thrill for this beta boy.

In fact, that was the only problem. They were all so incredibly attractive, and they were each being so nice to me. Two of them were already geared up for a night of flirting. Having no other targets yet, they playfully taunted me, knowing from experience I wouldn't step out of line. They flashed legs, cleavage and smiles. It was all so tantalizing, and my dicklette was oozing into my shorts so much I feared it would soak through. It finally became more than I could stand, and I cornered Alex to plead my case.

"Alex, please... I need to masturbate!" I whispered. "I'm afraid I'm going to cum in my pants! May I? Please? Pleeaaase?"

With a tilt of my head, I gestured down the hall to the main floor bathroom; implying I'd make it quick - just dash in there and take care of things. Alex seemed disappointed at first, but then a sly smile crossed her face and she said,

"Oh, alright, but hurry up! I want you to help me entertain the girls."

I ran off to take care of my urgent needs as Alex rejoined the girls. I locked the door behind me, stood in front of the mirror and dropped my pants and underpants. As soon as I put my hands on my little stiffie, I looked in the mirror and quietly began to tell myself,

"I have a tiny penis... I have a tiny penis... I have a tiny penis..."

I gazed into the mirror, my hand moving up and down as my eyes did the same; glancing down to my penis, then looking myself in the eyes, feeling every bit the pathetic little beta boy I was. Letting it sink in. I had only ever chanted my phrase to Alex and Nick. Saying it to myself felt like a far more profound confession.

"I. have. a. tiny. penis.

I have a tiny penis."

I felt the truth of the words as I confronted myself in the mirror and the shame washed over me. I fell into that place where my words and my humiliation fed off each other.

"I have... a tiny... penis.

I have a tiny penis."

My mantra quickened as my dick started to pulse and weep.

"I have a tiny penis... I have a tiny penis... I have a tiny penis...

I have a tiny penis!

I HAVE A TINY PENIS!"

I shot all over the mirror and into the sink, leaning heavily on the vanity while I recovered. I barely had time to worry about the volume of those final few chants when I heard it. The first giggle was soft, suppressed, and just outside the door. Who was it? I couldn't tell from the single stifled titter. An explosive snort followed, and then all hell broke loose. My heart sunk and I wanted to seep through the floor and disappear. Then came the sound of Alex shushing everyone. Once their laughter died down, she knocked on the door and spoke softly through it.

"Honey, everything all right in there?"

More laughter, and more shushing from her.

"Uuuhhh... yeah."

I was mortified and at a loss for words. Knowing I would have to come out eventually, I turned on the water and grabbed a wad of kleenex, wiping off the mirror and countertop, then tucked myself away and washed my hands. Meanwhile, Alex continued to tease me.

"You sound like you had a bit of an epiphany in there. Anything you'd like to share with our company?"

She may have been talking to me, but she was entertaining her friends, and they laughed with delight.

"N-n-no, not really."

"Alright then. I suppose you've shared enough already. Why don't you come out now. The girls all want to see you."

My God, is she really considering showing me off to them? Would I let her, if she asked? I was scared, yet suddenly excited. Breaking all my previous records for recovery time, my dicklette hardened at the prospect.

I opened the door and was greeted by the cheering hallway crowd. Alex hugged me tight and whispered in my ear,

"Don't worry. I won't let them humiliate you too bad."

I wondered if her idea of "too bad" was anything like mine. I could see them over Alex's shoulder. The applause had stopped and their giggling comments blended into a fawning sing-song chorus. A few stray words cut through the din. I caught "tiny", "cute" and "how embarrassing".

Alex released me and gently nudged me forward. I walked through the gauntlet, receiving light touches and delighted welcomes from each of them. They gave me looks that said, "I know your secret", and "so cute, but so sad".

I pushed through them and went into the kitchen, needing a drink, without a clue where I had left my glass earlier. I poured another and threw it back while Alex put her arm around me and said,

"That's a good boy, have some liquid courage. It's just what you need. Now come back into the living room and let's get comfortable. I think the girls might have some questions for you."

I knew they would be difficult questions to answer, but I did have Alex's promise to protect me. I dutifully followed her into the living room, where Vicki said,

"Come sit here right here between me and Kelley. I want to keep an eye on you while we chat."

I figured that could only mean one thing. She wanted to keep an eye on my little lie detector. She started with the elephant in the room.

"Why, Kevin? Why do you say that while you jerk? Does it help you reach orgasm?"

"No - well, yes; but that's not why."

"Why then?"

I looked at Alex, feeling trapped. She nodded and said,

'It's okay, Kevin. They know about Nick. They just didn't know about you. It's your truth, own it."

"Because Nick and Alex, they want me to do it."

"Oh, c'mon now, cucky, that's not being very forthcoming. Try to be more accurate; give them a more complete picture."

"Cucky!", blurted Beth. "As in cuckold? I've read about that! Is that what you are?

Alex came to the rescue, giving me a chance to adapt to the flush of endorphins and adrenaline coursing through my body.

"It's accurate, but don't get the wrong idea. We're new to the lifestyle, it's less than a month since we started. He's not very far down the path."

She and I had discussed "the path", as she called it. I preferred to think of it as a selection of menu items, from which we could pick and choose. "Path" just made it sound so predestined, so inevitable.

Vickie wouldn't be distracted,

"Okay, what's the more complete picture?"

I had no alternative but to answer. It was like pulling a single brick from the middle of a very large dam. I looked at Alex again, for strength. She gave me a very warm smile and I began,

"Because Nick and Alex, they... they require me to do it."

"Wow", exclaimed Sandy, "one little word substitution, and... wow!"

She turned to Alex and said,

"Your turn now, Alex. Why?"

"Because we need to be aware of any time he masturbates. He's not allowed to cum without permission. And he likes an audience."

I shot her a look at that revelation. We hadn't ever discussed any of this getting out, and suddenly it felt like the entire dam was crumbling underneath me.

There were ooohs and laughter, and they suddenly got more animated. Sandy was the first to go there,

"Can we see? Can he do it again? I wanna see!"

"Now hang on there," Alex jumped in, "let's simmer down. Poor Kevin's only had 5 minutes to recover, I don't want him to have to beat himself raw just to entertain you ladies."

She may be disclosing too much, but I was relieved to see she was trying to keep things on the rails. Unfortunately, she had divided loyalties with this crowd.

"Kevin, I would like to see you give them something, just to demonstrate your bona fides, so to speak. They all heard you through the door. They all know you're not working with much. There's nothing to be ashamed of now. Why not embrace it? Can you show the girls what you've got? Go ahead baby, you might feel better if you just get past your shame. Go on, do it for me."

I couldn't believe what I heard. Did she really ask me to...? I stared into her eyes, paralyzed in fear. Before I knew it, my hands were working my belt buckle. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't want to not do it either, if that makes any sense.

I stood up, unbuttoned my pants and peeled them down, exposing my underwear, knowing my little bulge was probably not as noticeable as the embarrassing wet spot. I knew all of her pretty friends were watching intently, I could feel their eyes burning into me. I wanted to look at them, but I was afraid to leave the safety of my girlfriend's gaze. She was my rock right now, and I had to trust her. If she wanted me to do this, then I would.

As my thumbs found their way inside the waistband of my briefs, I finally tore my eyes away to scan the room. My gaze was immediately captured by Sandy, who was eagerly staring at my crotch. I took a deep breath and pulled down, exposing my shameful package to Sandy, trying to forget about the other three. Not sure why that seemed easier, but it did.

"Excellent, Kevin! Well done!" Alex praised me. Addressing the others, she said,

"Now do you see why we have him say what he says?"

A few of them murmured assent, but Sandy just looked up at me and smiled warmly. I felt a tingle shoot up my spine and my little dick started to swell. I suddenly wanted to get fully hard for her, somehow deluding myself that if I could proudly reveal my full length to her, she might actually find me desirable. My hand strayed to my awakening prick and gave it a stroke, and I immediately froze in fear. I was breaking my promise -- I had to say it.

"I have a tiny penis."

They all burst into laughter and applause. Even Sandy joined in, and I hung my head in humiliation, my tiny soldier shrinking from battle.

"Alright, baby. Why don't you put that thing away now. Everyone's seen it, and you know there's nothing more you can do with it right now."

I obeyed and sat back down. Kelley put her arm around me and confidentially said,

"That was incredibly brave of you, Kevin."

It was a kindness, and it bolstered me. Then she leaned in and added in a whisper,

"I think it's cute."

It brought my self-confidence back down a notch, but I still couldn't help feeling special for having shared something secret and intimate with her.

Beth asked how they came up with my phrase and Alexandra explained that it was a phrase chosen to maximize my embarrassment.

"But is it still going to work?"

Her reflexive question took me and Alex by surprise. Would it? We heard the question at the same time, but Alex leapt right ahead to the answer,

"I don't see how it could. I mean, now that so many people know... it's bound to lose some of its power. I think we should see if we can find a better one. At least have an alternative to offer to Nick next time we see him. What do you think, Kev?"

"I-I-I guess so. If you think so, that is."

I would have had to actually try it out more to be sure, but it kinda made sense. And these women just seemed to generate an irresistible and somewhat intimidating momentum when they get together.

Alex suddenly hit upon an idea,

"Hey, why don't we make it a contest? How about if each of you comes up with a phrase, write them all down and we'll let Nick choose the winner?"

Kelley said, "I love it! What does the winner get?"

Everyone looked at Alex, who thought for a minute, took a sip of her drink, then slowly cracked a smile.

"Oooh, she's got something!" chirped Beth.

"How about... the winner gets a private demonstration of the phrase in action?"

Yeaaa! they all cheered and clapped, but Kelley wasn't satisfied yet.

"How much action? I hope it's more than what we just got."

"All the way to completion." Alex answered.

That elicited a big smile from her, and she nudged me in the ribs. Someone called for another round, and it occurred to me that tonight's trip to the club just got postponed further.

It turned out my humiliating display was the high point of the evening. What followed was a fair amount of discussion, merriment and drinking; all the while dreaming up the best new phrase for me. For my part, no matter where I turned, I found myself looking into the eyes of a pretty woman I used to fantasize about as if I was a real man. Now I saw them looking at me with full understanding that the mere notion of that was laughable. They knew what I had been keeping secret, and they would never look at me the same again. I never felt lower, yet I remained rock hard the rest of the night.

When it ended, Alex and I had to help Kelley -- the designated driver of the night - pile the rowdy girls into their car and send them home. But not before collecting a small slip of paper from each of them.

The next night Alex and I did a Netflix & chill. The movie turned out to be surprisingly erotic. Mindful to not disturb Alex, I slipped my dick out and was about to commence a whispered chant when she spoke in a measured tone that gave me a chill,

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I-I-I'm going to masturbate." I replied in my own plaintive tone.

"You aren't allowed. You don't have a phrase."

"But... what about 'I have a tiny penis'?"

"I thought we agreed that has lost its cachet. You're not going back on that admission now, are you?"

She made it sound like I was trying to get away with something; as if I was skirting the rules. It didn't feel fair to me, but I knew it was only for one more day. Nick was coming over tomorrow, and Alex had already said they'd be choosing my new phrase.

I was ready to avoid the argument the beta way, but before I did, I dared to try to score a single point.

"You know, the only reason my phrase got weakened was because you let the cat out of the bag without checking with me first. I thought we had an agreement."

It may seem insolent to those familiar with the traditional cuckold relationship, but as I've said, ours was a bit non-traditional. Surprisingly, my snipe was graciously received.

"I know dear, but we had played around with the idea for a long time, and I knew you'd love it once it happened. Plus, you are partly to blame. I mean, if you hadn't begged me -- literally begged me -- to let you spank your monkey in there, there would have been nothing to hear."

I relented, and we went back to watching the movie. I remained maddeningly hard, and not just because of the movie. It was the first time I was being denied in such a capricious way. I felt taken advantage of, and my little head found it arousing.

When the movie ended and we were turning in, I poked at the sore spot once more,

"Can you do me a favor, just to reassure me; can you promise to be a little more circumspect from now on? I just don't want everyone knowing, you know? Like, let's at least make sure the neighbors don't find out."

"C'mon hunny, you know the neighbors probably all know, don't you?"

"What! You mean, you told them?"

"No silly, but I mean, they have to know, right? They see his car in our drive. They can hear I'm getting fucked while he's over here. They see him, they look at you, and well... they just have to know, don't you think?"

I didn't have an answer, but I had plenty of new thoughts to torment me as I pursued the release of sleep.

* * * * * * * *

That Friday, after work, Alex brought out the four slips of paper. She sorted them and made a little mark on each, presumably with a number. She addressed me in that playful tone that she knew got me going, even before her words could register.

"Are you ready to get your new phrase, cucky?"

"Yes. I'm very much looking forward to it."

"Would you like to help Nick and me pick the winner?"

"I don't know. How would I do that?"

"Oh, that's no fun! You tell me, then I'll tell you."

I immediately sensed she had something in store for me that would constitute another step down her path. My desire to consider new things as menu items kept proving difficult to practice, given that I couldn't see the menu. I sighed and said,

"Okay, I'd like to help. What will I be doing?"

"That's the spirit! You'll be road-testing each phrase. You know, see how it works in action."

"You mean I'll masturbate while chanting each one?"

"You got it! Won't that be fun?"

I had to admit, it might be. After my supreme embarrassment in front of the girls, I imagined that chanting in front of Alex and Nick would now be less humiliating, maybe even comfortable. It might have been, without the rest of it.

When Nick arrived, he clearly already knew about the contest. We had a nice dinner together, then adjourned to the living room, where Alex and Nick took seats, and Alex gestured me to the floor, tossing down a folded towel where she wanted me.

"Kneel", she said.

Of course I complied immediately, embracing the dynamic like the well-trained beta I was.

"Nick, you'll be pleased to hear cucky has elected to help us pick the winner tonight. I've explained the performance we expect of him, but I didn't get around to telling him about the voting part."

Nick replied, "Oh, voting... yeah, so here's the deal cuck; Alex and I get full votes, but if we differ, your vote breaks the tie. That is, if you want your vote to be accepted."

"Well yeah, why wouldn't I?" I replied.

"No reason. OK, so Alex, why don't you set up the phone, and cuck and I will get comfortable."

Nick sat down and man-spread, his package in stark relief against his acrylic running shorts. He overtly adjusted himself, then playfully slid one leg up, giving me a clear view up the gap between his shorts and his hairy thigh. I was captivated, as he well knew. I'd never felt it in the flesh, but he and I both knew I wanted to.

I suddenly realized my train of thought had been derailed when he dangled his meat in my face... he had said 'why don't you set up the phone?'. What the hell did that mean? I peeled my eyes from his beautiful piece of meat to see what my girlfriend was up to. She was just sitting down, taking a final peek at the screen of the phone held captive in one of those articulated rubber holders. It was pointed directly at me.

"Uh, what's going on?" I asked.

"Just capturing your performance, so you can view it as the rest of the world will see it. You know, as an observer. You wouldn't want to judge these phrases based on how it makes you feel, would you? I mean, that matters to literally no one but you. What should matter to you, is how it's going to look to everyone else. Don't you agree?"

Of course, those last three words let me know what was expected of me. But I needed to think through that. How did I really feel about being captured on video for the first time? I mean, in a situation ripe for exploitation, blackmail being chief among them. The varying degrees of coercion that might be employed did little to ease my mind. I knew I was letting it all ride on one thing... Alex was in on the plan, and she was clearly on board. So, I was too.

"Yes, I agree."

The atmosphere relaxed, which was a huge relief to me, since it implied the ground rules had most likely been established. It may seem odd, but when you're willingly surrendering so much control, any inkling of the itinerary for your trip is a comfort.

"Okay cucky", Alex said, "time to get out of those clothes. I want this to look as realistic as possible."

While I shed my clothes, Alex informed me that the author of each phrase was written on the backs, and that I was never allowed to see them, on pain of the cage. I was once again blindsided. We had never used the threat of the cage for anything other than unauthorized wanking. I had never so much as entertained the thought that its application might be expanded. To do it now, without discussion, seemed underhanded.

But if I balked, it would likely mean no new phrase for me, and I had already agreed to be denied until I was given a new one. To top it off, any grousing from me would put a damper on the whole evening, and I look forward to these mid-week visits as much as... well, okay, maybe not that much, but it's always the highlight of my week.

I was naked and back in my kneeling position as she explained her reasoning,

"As much as you try to hide it, I know which of my friends are your favorites, and I think I even know which one scares you a little. Ha ha! Ooops, look who's waking up! You're so predictable, it's sweet. So anyway, if you knew, you'd just vote for your favorite girl, and that's not the point.

And after we choose the winner, you still don't get to know. I want it to be a surprise, when the big day comes, and you see who you're going to perform for. Who you're going to try your hardest to impress with your big boy load."

She was about to start recording when she paused and added,

"Oh, one more thing... don't you dare squirt before you're chanting the fourth phrase. If you do, it will invalidate the whole test; in which case we'd have to postpone everything until the weekend. Each phrase deserves to be delivered with the same degree of horny desperation."

Alex handed the first slip of paper to Nick, who read it with a neutral expression, nodded and held it out to me. I accepted it from him as Alex started the recording, no doubt wanting to capture my initial expression as I read the first phrase. Glancing down at the paper, I noticed the little number one in the corner, then read words that cut right into my soul:

I'm not a real man

I looked up from the scrap of paper to Alex. Her smile looked warm and supportive, but the intensity in her eyes belied another emotion she was masking.

"Go ahead, baby. Give it a try."

I took myself in hand and began to slowly stroke,

"I'm not a real man... I'm not a real man... I'm not a real man..."

"Awww, I do like that, but you know that's not the way to make it really burn in. You know how to say it right. C'mon, give us the emotion. Show us how it makes you feel to know it's true."

"I'm not a real man... I'm not a real man... I'm not a real man"

"Yes! Excellent! What do you think, Nick? It works, doesn't it?"

"Ha! I think cucky's little boner is already telling us that. It's even got me stirring in my shorts a bit. I like the implication."

The phrase was incredibly powerful to me, and I had to struggle to understand what it implied to him. Once I set aside my own shame and thought about how it might sound to him, it was obvious. He heard it as "I'm not a real man... Nick is". I immediately liked it even more; and briefly wondered if I might be allowed to say it that way, for him.

Alex stopped the recording, muttering about how she wanted four separate clips to simplify playback. It occurred to me that my performances were being preserved for reasons beyond tonight's review, renewing my concern over potential blackmail material.

I struggled to remember the way Alex had explained it. It had escaped me at the time, but she could have said I needed to see myself, so I'd know how she and Nick would see me. Well, them, plus the author of the phrase. But what she said was something about the world. What was it... 'how the rest of the world will see it'. Shit.

Alex hit start again and handed Nick the second slip. He read it, smiled, then handed it to me. I looked down at number two:

I can't satisfy my woman

At first, it just struck me as a simple statement of fact -- something we all knew was true. But it didn't speak only to my meager endowment, but to my worth as a sexual partner. I pride myself on my ability to satisfy my woman; just not with my penis. This brought Alex into the mix, implying not only that I was lacking, but that she suffered for it. That she deserved more. Knowing that was true, I started to warm to it as I stroked and repeated,

"I can't satisfy my woman... I can't satisfy my woman... I can't satisfy my woman"

Alex surprised me by hitting stop and saying,

"No, I don't like it. I thought it sounded good when I first read it, but now, hearing it from you, it makes me sad for you. And that's not the way I want to feel about you."

Nick disagreed, observing,

"I don't hear it that way. What I hear is 'I can't satisfy my woman... not like Nick can.' But I understand what you're saying. Let's move on to the third."

She hit record, handed the third slip to Nick, and he laughed out loud.

"Sorry," he said. I This one is just too fuckin' funny!"

He handed it to me as Alex broke out in a huge grin. Slip number three:

I'm a betaboy masturbator

This one put the focus back on me alone, and again spoke to more than simple physical inadequacies. It revealed not only a shameful secret; it forced me to admit my own weakness. My lack of self-control, my humiliating depravity. It spoke to me, and I embraced it with enthusiasm,

"I'm a betaboy masturbator... I'm a betaboy masturbator... I'm a betaboy masturbator!"

Nick and Alex both looked pleased. It felt like we had two strong contenders. It wasn't even clear to me which one I liked best, and I was suddenly grateful that I'd be able to view them from a more distant perspective.

Alex hit stop, but didn't hand over the last slip. She said,

"This one is a bit different. I advised the author that she was bucking the odds, since it wasn't accurate. But she insisted - I think she said it had an 'incontrovertible power'."

Nick took it from her as she restarted.

"Uh, yeah... this doesn't work for me." He looked at me and added, "Not unless he's going to make it true."

He held it out, then pulled back briefly just as I reached for it.

"You hear me?"

I nodded. He knew I 'd heard him, and I heard the message carried by his voice: this is a hard line for me, I'm not playing around here.

Slip number four said:

I eat my own cum

But I didn't. I never had, beyond that one small taste, out of curiosity. "Not unless he's going to make it true." His words were clear, and the reality was inescapable. I read it again. The power of those words was undeniable. I looked at both of them, unsure how to proceed. Alex saw my hesitation and jumped in,

"I agree with Nick, it can only become your new phrase if you know it's true. That's the only way it has power. Just like you know your penis is tiny. But let's give him a one-time pass, just so we can hear it coming out of his mouth. Seeing how it makes him feel to say it; there's no substitute for that."

"Alright", Nick said; "but this will be the only time it's permitted without an immediate demonstration that backs up those words."

I understood, of course; but I couldn't get my head around it. Saying the words was one thing, but by the time I had to vote, there was lot I was going to have to work through on this one.

I nodded to Alex to start recording, then turned to Nick with my inferior appendage in hand. I stroked it and spoke to him,

"I eat my own cum"

I turned to Alex and said,

"I eat my own cum"

I looked directly into the camera and said,

"I eat my own cum"

Alex turned off the recording. I could see her processing the weight of it. It hung in the air; we all felt it. She didn't say a word -- she didn't have to. She was rubbing herself.

I looked at Nick. He was regarding me with an air of superiority that he was entitled to. The way he assessed me made me feel inferior. I knew he was thinking about how I might very soon be eating my own cum in front of him. I guess he was trying to figure out how he would feel about that. I thought I saw a trace of disgust flit across his countenance. It seemed he was mulling things over in his head, then he landed on something that pleased him; a slight smile giving it away.

My first thought was that voting might be just a formality at this point, if I was reading the room right. But I wasn't about to voice that, since I needed the pretense of the vote as my excuse for watching the video, and I wanted very much to see the video.

Alex appeared to be in no mood to stop, perhaps anticipating the video as much as I. Nick pulled her phone from the holder, turned on the TV and set up the casting connection. I spun around to watch from my place on the floor.

Watching myself masturbate while chanting "I'm not a real man" was far more than I expected. They felt like the most powerful words, forcing me to confess my shameful secret in a way that made me admit why it mattered so much. The sight of my naked, weak beta body on TV, displaying my embarrassingly small penis, was deeply humiliating, particularly when I thought about how many others might someday see it.

From behind me, Alex exclaimed,

"Oh God, cucky; you look so hot saying that! I can't believe how humiliated you look. It's written all over your face! Oh fuck! I think I could set that on loop and come to it!"

"Well," said Nick, "I guess you have to find some way to amuse yourself when I'm not around. Now let's see the next one..."

He called it up and there I was, chanting "I can't satisfy my woman". Now I saw what my girlfriend saw; guilt. Admitting my personal inadequacies allowed me to bask in humiliation. Admitting my failure to please my girl was something that made me sad. The absence of pleasure was obvious. I turned, reached back my hand to hers and squeezed a silent thank you as Nick launched number three.

"I'm a betaboy masturbator" still held appeal; sounding both charming and humiliating. It struck me as the most fun phrase for a stranger to hear. I imagined myself in a clothing store fitting room, chanting for those in the adjoining partitions. It was completely non-threatening, like a small dose of humiliation wrapped up in a playful tease.

Then number four was playing, and I watched myself confess to Nick, "I eat my own cum". I sounded resigned, my head hung in shame. I couldn't help noticing my hand; how the speed increased as I spoke those words.

When I faced Alex and said it again, I looked like I was asking her if she still loved me, pleading with her to tell me it's ok that I eat my own cum. It seemed pathetic to me, but behind me came the unmistakable rapid squish of her hand as it sloshed across her wet lips.

Then my imaage turned to the camera and I looked into my own eyes. I saw a singular human, confessing something profound to himself. Something he didn't even fully understand. He was saying, I eat my own cum. Not because I like it... because I need to." It didn't make complete sense to me, but it felt right. I knew which way I was going to vote.

Nick asked if everyone had seen enough. I grudgingly agreed I had, and Alex conceded too, once he pointed out that they were on her phone, so she'd have plenty of opportunities later. Nick proposed a rock-paper-scissors style vote; a show of fingers for 1, 3 or 4 (number 2 having been vetoed).

"If any two of us match, that's the winner. If we all choose different, then Alex and I will decide on our own. We'll give it to you and you'll take it. Sound good?"

The question was largely rhetorical. This far in, after everything I'd been through, it was a simple concession to make. I also had a feeling we'd be deciding the winner in a matter of seconds.

We each held out our arms, fist in open palm, and Nick said,

"Okay, shoot your number on 3. Ready? 1... 2... 3!"

Our top hands drew a line across our palms, the four fingers of each extended straight. We all knew, but I felt the need to acknowledge it, and it just wouldn't have been right for anyone else to say it.

"And the winner is: "I eat my own cum".

Nick smiled and Alex clapped playfully, and then the smiles drained away. They both grew serious, intense. They were thinking about what lies ahead, and just like that, I was too.

"This is going to be so good, cucky! I want this to be special for you. I want to help you celebrate your first time. How do you want to do it? Would you like to catch it in your hand? Or would you rather eat it out of my hand? I could feed it to you, like a little kitten, lapping up his milk."

"I want it both those ways. But not today... this first time, I want to keep it pure, so I can fully appreciate the flavor. I want to cum into a glass."

"Oooo yes! A glass, so you can catch it all and drink it down slowly; really savor the taste! Why don't you go pick your favorite glass from the barware and meet us upstairs."

I loved that she was so into it, and I knew right away which glass I wanted; our prettiest cut-glass stemware. Delicate, imported crystal, that caught the light so beautifully. From the set she got as a gift from her father. I fetched it and caught up with them in the bedroom.

Setting the glass on the nightstand, I took my usual seat and watched my superiors kissing and caressing each other's bodies as they shed their clothes. I was still naked, and my flaccid penis began to react to the provocative unveiling. As soon as it did, my conditioned response was to masturbate.

It was too soon for that, and I fought to suppress that initial urge. But it stayed in my mind long enough to remind me what I would be chanting when I did. I stole a glance at the glass, and Nick saw me. And there was that smile again! What was happening to me? Why did I get so much validation out of that smile?

They were both naked and Alex pushed Nick back on the bed, taking his big dick in hand and arranging herself to face me as she took him into her mouth. She knew it was one of my favorite things to watch, besides her O face. I settled in to get hard while watching her suck, always trying to get there before Nick. Given his advantage of being the one getting the service, I rarely stood a chance. In this case, it didn't take Alex long to notice something was off.

"What's wrong cucky? You seem distracted, and your not getting hard. Do I not excite you anymore? Does the sight of your pretty girlfriend sucking a huge cock not do it for you anymore?"

"No" I answered quickly, "that's not it. I'm just... thinking."

"He's afraid, babe." Nick offered.

"Afraid? Why would he be afraid? He voted for it. Cucky, you're not afraid of eating your cum, are you?"

I couldn't tell if she was teasing me, or was genuinely surprised.

"Kinda, I guess. When I voted, I was thinking about the physical act, and I told myself I could do it; that it was just an ounce or so of fluid, no big deal. But now..."

"Now what?" she asked, clearly confused.

I had so many thoughts competing for attention, I didn't know where to start. I looked at Nick, I must have revealed how helpless I felt, because he fielded it for me.

"Now he realizes it's not about the physical act at all; it's about the fact of it. He's afraid of what it's going to mean to him. Afraid it's going to change him somehow. The way he thinks of himself. But he's also afraid of what you'll think of him. And I think he knows what I'll think of him."

I suddenly felt a lot more naked than I'd ever been, and to make it worse, it was Nick that had undressed me. Alex was speechless, so Nick continued.

"It's a big step, but it'll be good for him. Not for his body, for his head. Do you want to help him?"

Not sure what he had in mind, Alex nodded.

"Then suck me off. All the way - take my load. I know it's not your favorite thing, but it's good for you too, every now and then. Keeps proper order, know what I mean?"

I hadn't heard this side of Nick before. I wondered if it was new to Alex. She didn't bristle, or even react noticeably. She simply accepted it and nodded.

"Cuck," he said, "I want you to time it so you cum with me. You and your girlfriend are going to watch each other eat."

Alex broke into a grin and resumed her sucking, now highly motivated to pull her man's seed out of his balls. Nick smiled as well, and I couldn't help but appreciate the pure picture of manliness he was. His entire body tensed, resembling a greek statue, albeit in a somewhat less classic pose. His cock, glistening with spit, certainly appeared to be carved from stone. I took hold of my penis and started the first official use of my new mantra,

"I eat my own cum... I eat my own cum... I eat my own cum".

Nick was right about me being afraid of swallowing my cum, but if Alex was going to be swallowing cum too, it almost felt like permission. Her being so hungry for it only helped my appetite.

I was really starting to look forward to this, and I watched her blissing out on Nick's cock. After a minute, I noticed something felt different. When I found myself gazing into Nick's face, it hit me. I never used to do that. It was always his cock, and her mouth. I enjoyed whenever he talked dirty, but other than that, I didn't use to pay much attention to him. He was the guy that brought the dick to my girl. Now I was becoming invested in his emotions. I could get aroused when he wasn't, but when he was -- like now -- I had no choice, I was going on a ride.

His dreamy expression was being overtaken by a simmering power. Every time she slowly sank down on his cock, the pressure built. It was like watching a covered pot start to boil, and knowing that if the burner wasn't turned down, there would soon be a messy overspill. And no one in the room was thinking about turning down anything.

It was obvious Nick was about to erupt. His breathing deepened, his exhales were long, drawn-out; like a safety release valve,

"ooohhhhhhh, aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, uuuuuuuuuhhhh! Here it comes, baby! Like it or not, here it fuckin' comes! And I know you secretly like it! But who do you think is going to like it more, you... or him?

I knew the answer to that one, but I wasn't quite ready to volunteer that just yet. Alex was about to get something she'd tasted before. It was my first time, it was my own, and it would be in front of both of them. Still, when I found myself drawing the comparison, I recognized I was jealous of her. She was so lucky, getting to eat the cum of a real man, while I had to satisfy myself on my own meager offering.

I hadn't even committed the shameful act yet, and I was already looking further down the path. Alongside the path behind me lay the discarded concept of a menu. I grabbed the glass off the nightstand and stuck my dick in the opening.

When I saw Nick let loose in Alex's mouth, I tightened my PC muscle for all I was worth and cranked my hand up to 11, furiously proclaiming,

"I eat my own cum!" over and over, as fast as I jerked and shot my load into the glass.

I watched Nick bury five blasts into Alex's mouth, then he backed off and squeezed out the last of his seed, dragging it to lay across the bridge of her nose. I could see from the way she was holding her mouth that it was full.

I honestly didn't need it, but Nick gave me a push anyway,

"Time to man-up... or cuck-up; or whatever the hell you can manage at this stage. Reach in and find the balls to do what you've committed to. Go ahead cuck, do it. Consume your shameful snack."

I brought the glass to my lips, took a deep whiff, then tipped it and watched the milky snot slide forward toward my mouth. It spilled in and over my tongue, and as the flow dissipated, I leaned back and raised the glass high over my mouth, stretching the last string, which clung and then broke free, falling back onto my tongue. I took a few licks inside, cleaning as much of the coated glass as my tongue could reach.

I looked into Alex's eyes with my own mouthful as we prepared to watch each other swallow. She tipped her head back and used her finger to drag the blob of cum from her nose onto her lips, letting it remain there in a thick coat as her gaze returned to me. Then she swallowed her mouthful, forcing it down in three separate gulps. The moment she opened her mouth to show me, I downed my own. It slid down easy, and I liked it. The taste was subtle, yet so foreign. I liked everything about it, particularly my awareness of how much I should hate it.

"That was amazing, babe!"

Alex was genuinely pleased, but my singular focus was on her smiling lips, still glistening with Nick's cum. She saw me staring, and began to tease me; parting her lips, stretching the gooey film that curtained across her mouth. She blew a cum bubble, then laughed as it burst all over her face. I never wanted to kiss her more than I did right then, but I knew it wasn't my place to initiate anything in the bedroom. In playfully sing-song voice, Alex said,

"Niiiiick, I think cucky wants to kiss me. I know it's not normally allowed, but do you think, maybe just this once...?"

"Go ahead" he granted.

Then he watched us share his cum back and forth in the most decadent kiss I've ever experienced. I greedily licked at what remained of the ribbon on her nose and swapped the traces of his flavor. I loved tasting the difference between us. I was now far enough down the path to smell the next step.

That night ended up being a marathon session for Alex and Nick, but I left them to it. I was exhausted, my balls were drained, and I needed some time alone to process. Lying in the guest room bed, I could hear them fucking, and in between, I could hear them talking. Well, mostly Nick; his deep voice resonated through the walls. When there was a protracted discussion, I cupped my ear against the wall to catch every word he was saying.

"It's not what he really wants, but it will placate him for a while... until it's time. I know what he really wants. Deep down, he does too; he just can't quite admit it to himself yet. But he will, in time. I have faith in our boy. He's a good beta boy, he'll get there".

He really cared about me, I thought. He understands how hard this is for me and appreciates what I'm able to give. It made me want to keep pleasing him.

* * * * * * * *

The next day was Saturday, and Nick needed to take care of a family situation with his cousin, leaving Alex and I on our own. Alex wanted to go clothes shopping with her friend Vicki, and I got roped into carrying their bags and engaging in the pretense that my opinions on fashion actually mattered.

We ate lunch at a food court in the mall, and we had already gotten our food and sat down when both women realized they had forgotten to pick up condiments. Alex asked me to fetch them, and as I was returning to the table from behind her, I overheard Vicki complimenting Alex, saying,

"You really do have him well trained."

When I appeared at the table, I expected Alex to either change the subject, or otherwise disregard the comment. After all, it required no response and seemed an uncomfortable subject to be discussing in front of me. What I failed to realize is that the discomfort was mine alone, and apparently didn't matter.

"Oh, girl; you don't know the half of it. I have him eating out of the palm of his hand."

Vicki attempted to correct her,

"I think you mean you have him eating out of the palm of your hand." You know, like how you train a wild animal."

"Hmmm, yeah... I see that. But I'm sticking with my version."

I knew she wanted to see me squirm, if not actually out myself. I quickly changed the subject, commenting on my lunch and rambling on about the crowd at the food court, successfully derailing Vicki's train of thought before she sought clarification. I spent the rest of the trip worrying that Vicki would revisit the subject, although she never did. At least not while I was within earshot.

* * * * * * * *

After two nights watching Nick and Alex fuck and then me sleeping alone, I once again woke up alongside Alex. She was sleeping so peacefully. I took the opportunity to admire her beauty; fondly recalling the days when I could reach out at times like this and wake her up, just to have my way with her. Instead, I found myself looking forward to the next time I would be allowed in this room while she was getting fucked. It seemed like a bad trade, until I reminded myself how marginal my best efforts were back then, and how they paled in comparison to the sex she now regularly enjoyed with Nick.

No, I told myself, it was right that I should just jack off. Jack off and eat it. It was all I deserved. And my recent practice had gotten me comfortable with the mechanics. I figured out just how to bend the fingers of my left hand upward, to stop the first blast, allowing it to run down and collect in my cupped palm. How to keep my hand level as I bought it to my mouth. How to flatten my tongue at the edge of the pool and slurp it all up in a single pass, before swallowing my shame.

I could live with the situation, but that didn't mean I wouldn't like the freedom to casually fondle myself while I watched her sleep. But I had to admit, she deserved to wake up gently, to pleasant thoughts all her own; not disturbed by a pathetic wanker shamefully announcing his propensity to consume his own semen. When she finally did awaken, she saw me looking at her, smiled lazily and mumbled,

"Hey hunny... how long have you been awake?"

"Uhhhh... I really don't know. I lost track track of time."

"Hah, you were in your head again, weren't you?"

I nodded, and she reached down to check my state of arousal."

"Aww, the little guy's still sleeping! He's so cute when he's all warm and snuggy like this."

She fondled me briefly, then swung her legs out of bed and sat on the edge,

"It should be a fun day today, don't you think?"

I tried to think about what was in store for the day and came up empty. I sat up next to her and asked,

"What happens today?"

"Well, I was hoping you were going to spend all day at work distracted by the thought of what happens when you get home. Don't tell me you forgot? Wait, I did tell you, didn't I?"

"I don't think so, babe. What do you have planned?"

"The girls are coming over this evening to find out which one of them is the lucky winner."

Oh, that. She had not, in fact, told me today was the day; but in all fairness, I had also completely forgotten my commitment. I was so preoccupied with thoughts of all that had happened since then, not to mention my next step along the path; that I had forgotten all about my past obligation. The one I had yet to fulfill - the private demonstration. It was considerate of her to make sure I didn't miss out on the anticipation.

I still didn't know who I'd be performing for, but the author of my new mantra would witness my humiliation as I confessed to her my new habit. I touched myself and thought about what Nick required of me. I was no longer allowed to demonstrate the phrase without prompt follow-through. I was going to be eating my own cum in front of one Alex's friends, who would certainly be watching intently. Would she be repulsed by the depravity of the act? Would she be disgusted? Or would she be excited?

And so, lying there next to my girlfriend in our bed, I began to pull my little weiner and once again tell her that I eat my own cum. She regarded me with amused satisfaction.

"I'm glad to see the idea excites you. I really want you to make this special for my friend. Give her a real show!"

"I eat my own cum."

"Yes, just like that! Go ahead and catch it with your hand again. I so like watching you do that."

So I performed my shameful act for her again, then went to work destined for distraction. What I didn't expect was to spend my lunch hour trying to convince one of my work friends, Jack, that I was financially responsible.

By the time I returned home, four cars filled our driveway and I was forced to park on the street. I still didn't know who the winner was, but they were all here to find out and congratulate her. I walked in to find them all relaxing in the living room.

"Hey babe, I'm home. Hi, ladies. Lemme just get out of these work clothes and into something more comfortable."

Alex followed me into the bedroom to check in with me, wanting to assess my mood before the festivities got underway. I took the opportunity to investigate the mystery of my day,

"I understand you were talking to Jack about me recently."

"Jack? Oh, Sandy's husband; yeah, I was. Why?"

"Well, what did you say to him?"

"I dunno. I was talking to both of them, you know, just catching up on what's been going on with each of us."

"And what did you say about me?"

"Let's see, I was telling them about how good things have been with us. They had been telling me about some of their plans for the future, and I recall thinking how we had kinda been the opposite lately, living in the present. I think I said 'Kevin seems to be really content lately, just living a hand-to-mouth existence"

"Ah geez, baby! You've got to be more careful what you say. Jack was convinced I'm irresponsible with money and wasn't saving a dime. I had to spend our whole lunch hour convincing him otherwise."

"Aww, I'm sorry. If you want, I can call him later and explain what I meant."

"No, please don't! I mean, I fixed it; at least I think I did. I certainly don't need them to know you were being literal. You really do get a kick out of the idea of my secrets getting out, don't you?"

"I really do."

She kissed me, brushed a hand lightly against my crotch and took my arm to guide me to our waiting company. The vibe in the room was altogether different from a dance night outing. Not just the more conservative business clothes, but the demeanors, even their personas seemed different. The conversation was relaxed, and had little to do with me. I was comfortable in their midst, and strangely, not aroused. Until...

Alex stood up and said for all to hear,

"Kevin, would you please do me a favor?"

I said sure -- what else was I going to do in front of her friends? She dug into her pocket and reached out and passed me the contents of her closed hand.

"Would you please read the name on the back of this winning entry slip?"

The crowd shifted gears in an instant, cheering wildly. I opened the folded slip and read it aloud without even taking the opportunity to pause and relish my privilege,

"Kelley"

The other three offered polite golf claps and aaaww's tinged with wistful disappointment.

Kelley positively beamed. Something quite simply lit up inside her, complimenting her flaming red hair. She looked at me like a predator staring at cornered prey,

"Kevin..."

She stepped toward me as she toyed with the third button of her blouse, which was overly burdened by the task of concealing her ample bosom.

"Do you want to masturbate for me? Do you want to get out your little thing and play with it in front of me?"

My mouth dropped and my breath escaped without a sound. I quivered through the effort to pull in enough air to stammer,

"Y-yes... Oh yes! I-I-I would love that! I would love it! Please Alex, may we go somewhere so I can do that right now? Please, Alex?"

My simpering voice almost disgusted me, but the girls all found it hilarious.

"Of course we can, dear. I know the girls will understand. You need to thank Kelley for coming up with such a wonderful phrase for you. You owe her. But before we go, I think the other contestants deserve to hear the winning phrase. Why don't you tell them, honey?"

I turned to face them and proudly proclaimed,

"I eat my own cum."

The silence lasted a few long seconds, then Beth said,

"Wow."

Someone else let out an oooooo, then they all did their best to suppress their laughter. Except for Beth, who just stared at me. I couldn't tell if it was shock or awe, but it certainly wasn't mirth. She looked... thoughtful, and just a little dangerous.

Alex took my hand in one of hers and Kelley's in the other, leading us into the adjoining den. I was hoping we could be upstairs, so the rest wouldn't overhear me, but no such luck. At least they wouldn't see me.

As Alex closed the door, she told Kelley,

"I hope my being here won't distract you too much. I want you to feel free to take liberties with Kevin, should you desire. Within reason, of course. That's why I'm here; so you don't have to worry yourself with 'what would Alex say?'. Just enjoy yourselves, both of you."

"In that case..."

Kelley said as she stepped around Alex to get alongside me and whisper in my ear,

"Don't you have something you want to show me?"

Her hand stroked me through my pants, sending a chill up my spine. I looked down her cleavage and surprised myself by mustering the courage to reply,

"Yes. Do you?"

"Oh, you need some inspiration?"

It looked like she was ready to go along when Alex intervened,

"Don't let him talk you into anything, Kels. I can just as easily get him aroused with a few words."

Running a finger along my neck, her voice softened and teased,

"You know, just because this little show is private, doesn't mean we can't give the other girls a good idea of what you're doing right now. I could show them video number four. Do you think they'd like to see that? Do you think they'd enjoy seeing your pathetic confession to the camera?"

There it was... the threat of further exposure without my consent. I knew that video was going to come back to haunt me at some point. How many more times? Would it eventually end up on the internet? The thought of it, of my friends and co-workers seeing it, was chilling. But the thought of Vicki, Beth and Sandy seeing it; that was something I found intoxicating.

"Alex is right" I admitted. "You shouldn't feel obligated..."

I unzipped and pulled down my pants, then my underwear. My hand automatically found my newly hardened dick and I looked at Kelley as I took my first stroke.

"I eat my own cum."

"Oh, I do love that!" Kelley exclaimed.

I continued to jerk my dick for her as I met her gaze and told her what I now do. The perverse act I now regularly engage in. I loved having her see me like this, see me for who I truly am. Knowing what I was about to do in front of her consumed all my other thoughts. I was her jerky boy, an object for her amusement or arousal, at her whim.

"I eat my own cum... I eat my own cum... I eat my own cum..."

"I can't wait to see this!" Keley exclaimed. "Go for it, Kevin! I want to see you shoot onto something and then lick it off. What would you like to pump your ejaculate onto, Kevie?"

Alex offered, "He usually just pumps into his hand, don't you Kevin? He's getting pretty good at that."

"No, I want something better! Something hotter! Can he come on my tits?"

"Kels, if that's what you want, it's fine with me. And I know it's fine with him. But you better be paying attention once you bare those things. I doubt if he'll last long after he sees them."

"Waddaya say, Kevin? Want to come on my tits? Wanna spray your load all over these big mammer-jammers?"

She was unbuttoning her blouse as she spoke, and as soon as the tops of her breasts were bared, I immediately slowed my hand for fear of losing it. I continued to stroke slowly, feasting on the sight of her tits as she removed her blouse, revealing them encased in her lacey bra.

"Oh Kels, you can't let him ruin that beautiful bra with his slimy cock-snot! I'm afraid you're going to have to take it off."

Kelley sighed and gave it only a moment, then as she pulled off the first strap, said,

"I guess you're right, but it's more than he deserves. It seems like he's getting an awful lot out of this, considering I'm supposed to be the winner here."

"You know, you're right. Hold on..."

Alex held a hand out and stopped Kelley just before she lowered the other strap.

"Cucky, I want you to promise Kelley that you won't look at her nipples. It will make her more comfortable, and anyway, you know you don't deserve to."

That hurt, particularly because I knew she was right. Kelley was baring her magnificent breasts in front of me, and I hadn't even done anything for her yet. Certainly, subjecting her to the sight of my pathetic penis did more for me than it did for her.

"He'd do that? I mean, he's got that kind of will power?"

"Show her what a good boy you can be, cucky. Don't make a liar out of me."

She knew calling me cucky was invoking the submissive part of me. Also, she appealed to a twisted sense of honor -- a duty to prove myself worthy.

"You have my word, Alex. You also, Miss Kelley."

"Oooooo, where did that come from?" Kelley cooed.

Alex smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek, then leaned back on the desk to watch.

"Kels, I think he's going to like cleaning your tits so much, he just might get hard again from doing it."

"I'd take that as a real compliment. You just go ahead and enjoy yourself bator boy. Stroke that little prick and look into my eyes while I play with my boobs for you."

"I eat my own cum... I eat my own cum... I eat my own cum..."

"Oh God, Kelley," Alex said, "you're going to turn me on with what you're doing!"

"Hey, do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I'm getting in the zone over here. Now masturbator, when you cum on my tits, I'm going to allow you to look down briefly, just to get your aim right. But remember, no looking at my nipples!"

I nodded while I chanted. I tried to be good; I kept my eyes locked on hers. But peripheral vision isn't just side-to-side; it's a 360 thing. I was keenly aware of the size and motion of her tits as she played with them. I was also aware of the darker colored centers that seemed huge. That motion... and the sense of weight it spoke to, was impossible to ignore. I was close, and I knew once I looked down to aim, there was no way to not see those big areolas.

"I eat my own cum... I eat my own cum!... I EAT MY OWN CUUUMMMM! AAAAAaaahahahaaaa..."

They were gorgeous -- mahogany colored, ripe with prominent Montgomery glands; forcing the notion of breastfeeding into my head. As I coated one breast and turned my aim to the other, I willed my eyes back up and saw Kelley's sly smile. She knew -- of course she did. It wasn't much of a secret. It was obvious to both of us that I'd misbehaved; but her conspiratorial smirk told she wouldn't let on to Alex. I stole a quick glance to Alex... yeah, pretty sure she knew too.

"Good job, Kevie!" Kelley praised. "It feels so warm on my titties. You know what to do now. And remember..."

"I know, Miss Kelley; no looking at your nipples."

I slowly licked the slimy trails that crossed over the tops of her big, soft titties. She held them out for me in turn, massaging the undersides, clearly not finished enjoying herself. I was enjoying it too. Alex was right; I did have a hard-on while cleaning her tits, only I wasn't hard again, I was still hard.

"That's it baby, lick mommy's tits. Clean off all your disgusting goo. You need to eat it. You like it! I can tell you do. You're just a little cum-eater, aren't you? All clean now? Good boy!"

She tucked her wonderous tits back into her bra and blouse and buttoned up, then said,

"I just want one more thing from you. Tell me what you like most. Is it the taste, or the feeling?"

"It's the feeling," I admitted, looking at the floor.

"I knew it! C'mon, Alex, let's rejoin the girls. I have so much to tell them!"

Kelley gave them the news right off,

"Well girls, you heard it; and I'm here to tell you it's true. He really does eat his own cum. And he fuckin' loves it!"

They were all pleased to hear it, and surrounded her, each with their own questions. The last one hung in the air after it was asked.

"How did you know he did that?"

She told them,

"I didn't know, and he didn't do that. Not until he heard my phrase, and then I guess he just knew he had to have it, knew he'd be forced to do it."

"Now wait a minute," Alex protested, "nobody forced him. He wanted to do it, dincha Kev? Tell 'em, Kevie."

I nodded, and did my best to stick up for both of us,

"I did want to. Partly because Nick and Alex wanted me to; I knew they were looking forward to it. But mostly because I wanted to. Not to taste it, but to feel what it's like to do it. And to have done it... in front of others. To know that additional people might find out. To wonder what they would think of me if they did. Would I know if they did? Or would I just suspect, based on the way they looked at me, treated me. Every possibility is a new source of humiliation for me. That's why I wanted to do it."

"God, cucky; that was beautiful! I'm so proud of you!"

She took me into her arms and held me close, more maternal than sexual, and I basked in her affection. Her hug salvaged the few remaining scraps of my dignity, protecting them in her loving embrace.

When we finally broke the long hug, I looked each woman in the eye and invited them to judge me. After all I had been through, I now felt comfortable in my humiliation. As familiar as it was, I still craved it. And I loved getting it from them. Having them put me through it. It felt less threatening with them. I was developing a bond with these women. Not love, but affection. Even if Beth did still scare me a little.

* * * * * * * *

The following days were filled with long wank sessions which Alex supervised and during which, she teased me mercilessly. The video she had of me was a frequent subject of discussion, the most memorable being...

"You know cucky, I just love to watch your video. It's so good, I really want to share it with someone else. Are you sure you can't think of anyone you'd like me to show it to?"

Of course I could. Or at least, those for whom the thought of seeing it turned me on. All her girlfriends, plus a few of her female co-workers and about half of mine. I feared a truthful answer would inexorably lead to an internet posting.

"No, no one. I'd die if that got out. Please don't show it to anyone! Please!"

"Awww, not even Sally?"

Oh shit, Sally; her sister. My sister-in-law, who Alex knows I've always lusted after. She often teased me about Sally, secure in the knowledge that her sister had zero interest in me. I wondered if she'd already confided any of our secrets to her.

"I think Sally would find this highly amusing, if not stimulating. Which do you think it would be? Are you able to kid yourself into thinking she would find any of your behavior attractive?"

I unfastened my pants, knowing she would continue, resigned to succumb to her manipulation.

"She knows you well enough that she already thinks of you asexually. Certainly not as much of a man. I don't think it would come as a surprise."

"I eat my own cum..." I said, as I took a tentative stroke, just to get in on the teasing.

"I know you do, dear" she ribbed me. "Hey - I know, how about if I showed it to a stranger? Someone we just encounter in daily life. Maybe someone who works somewhere we go, so we kinda feel like we know them, even though we don't."

"I eat my own cum... I eat my own cum... I eat my own cum"

"Yeah, that's working..." she observed.

Satisfied she had hit on something, now she was rolling.

"I've got it! That cute young checkout girl at the grocery store. You know the one? The black girl with the awesome braids and the perfect skin? I know you know who I'm talking about."

I chanted faster; it was somehow easier when my voice kept up with my hand.

"So, how about this? I'll take you shopping with me, and just as she starts to check out our cart full of groceries, I can pretend to have gotten a message on my phone. I'll say something like, 'Isn't this from one of your friends, hun?' as I play our favorite video, number four. I make sure the volume is just right for our checkout girl to hear, as your first chant gets her attention. She'll probably question whether she heard it right, but that's okay, because you'll go on to chant it again. Yeah, just like you are now. By then it will be sinking in - what it is she's hearing, and that it's coming from my phone. I'll act all shocked and hold it up so she can see your final chant into the camera, and I'll say,

"Oh my god, can you believe this?"

She won't be able to resist looking, and just in time, she'll see you on the screen looking back at her, right into her innocent brown eyes, as you say..."

"I eat my own cum"

"That's right! At first she's repulsed; then horrified when she realizes the guy in the video is you. And then we endure the long minutes of silence, punctuated only by the bips of the scanner as she works through the conveyor belt of items as fast as she can. She'd struggle to ignore us, but would be unable to stop herself from stealing glances at you, no doubt pondering that timeless classic: 'What kind of man...'."

"I eat my own cum... I eat my own cum!... I eat my own cum!

"Yes, you do! Now do it again! C'mon, show me baby, I never get tired of seeing you do it. Eat it! That's right, be a good boy! Eat it all for me!"

I slurped shamelessly, tasting everything I had pumped out, before swallowing it down.

"That's a good cum-eater! God, you really do love it, don't you? I know you said you didn't like the taste at first, but you do now, don't you?"

I nodded, no longer feeling shame admitting it to her.

"As much as I love to see you eat your cum, It kinda makes me feel a little sad for you. Remember, I've tasted your cum before. Back when I used to suck you off, before Nick. I never liked it, but every now and then I got enough to know what it tastes like. And believe me baby, it pales in comparison to the real thing. You wouldn't believe it. It's so much more... potent, from a real man."

Like Nick. She didn't have to say it, for it to hang in the air. Nick's cum tastes potent, I thought. Was there a hint of that same flavor in mine too, that was just stronger in his? Or did his have some magic ingredient that mine simply lacked? Fuuuck, now I'm wondering how his cum tastes. Dammit, she's doing it again!

"You know, I love your current phrase, and I think it should always be a part of your repertoire. I know I'd love to hear you using it in public sometime. You know, maybe a Men's room or something. But when it's just the three of us, I think it has lost some of its power over time, don't you?"

Uh-oh, is what I thought. Here we go again. I wasn't looking forward to another period of abstinence while they found me a new phrase. She dismissed it for the time being, tossing off the capper,

"Nick's coming in a couple days, we'll see what he thinks."

Yet another thing to mull over. Nick's coming... Nick's cumming... hmmm. I knew what I was going to do, but not the way I wanted to do it. I played around with the possibilities in my mind, building up my anticipation. It helped me imagine which situations would be most exciting, and what I might be prepared to do.

Dinner that evening was one of my favorites, pot roast with potatoes and gravy. We enjoyed a nice cabernet along with it, and we both had a satiated glow as we cleaned up the minor kitchen destruction left in the wake of our repast. Alex ran the faucet as she began to slowly pour down the drain the leftover flour/water slurry from the gravy making.

"Remind you of anything?" she asked, as she pondered the thin stream of pale white fluid running into the sink.

"Oh... now that you mention it, yeah."

"I guess I overestimated how much we'd need. Shame it has to go to waste, but it just doesn't keep. You really want it to be fresh, ya' know?"

"I... I guess so. I -- I don't really know."

"Well, I do. Trust me."

Why did her words always seem to hang in the air like that? That one was a frequent visitor in my head as I tried to get to sleep. I did trust her, but it didn't lessen my desire to find out for myself.

* * * * * * * *

When Nick showed up again, I was the first to greet him upon entry. It felt different this time, which was something I had experienced before. When I first met him, I thought of him as just a guy; and I liked him, the way I would any male friend. But that was before we saw each other naked. After that, when I greeted him, I realized I liked him as a superior man, deserving of a level of respect that I wasn't due. Now I looked up at him, realizing that "like" no longer seemed the right word. What I was feeling seemed closer to devotion. What I was contemplating doing next would be a big step in my submission to him.

"I'm glad to see you, sir. How was your day? I hope everything's going well. Would you like something to drink?"

"No cuck, I'm fine. But I think the question is, would you like something to drink?"

He saw my difficulty and quickly let me know his question was rhetorical.

"Ha ha, relax. You know what I want. Go run upstairs and let Alex know I'm here."

I happily complied, relieved to not have to answer the question that I now understood. When Alex ran downstairs to meet him, I stayed behind and moved to the guest bedroom, closing the door to avoid the view of them later, when they would enter the master bedroom. It really was the master's bedroom, and it's only right that he has it. And that he has her.

I let myself imagine them, as they moved from discussion of workday events to roaming hands and wet kisses. It always turned me on to see it; I loved to bathe in their sexual energy. But I was in no condition to endure that kind of stimulation tonight. I had been winding myself up all day, and could not allow my cum to spill until the perfect moment.

When they came upstairs, their laughter was all I needed to hear, to know that it would be a playful night. I was relieved. More than the fun of witnessing bedroom gymnastics, it would make it easier for me to avoid getting caught up in the moment. When they're passionate and earnest, it pushes too many of my buttons, and I end up getting sucked in and riding their wave. Tonight, I needed to retain enough self control to resist cumming when Nick did. I wanted to be horny when he gave me the opportunity.

I knew fun times usually lasted a while, so I waited another 15 minutes while I tortured myself, imagining what I was missing. When I finally opened my door, I found theirs was open as well. Alex was bent over the bed facing away from me, getting railed from behind and clearly loving it. I entered and took my seat in the corner, pulling my pants down and kicking my way out of them with my eyes locked on them.

I began to chant quietly to myself, hands clasped behind my back. Nick fucked Alex slowly and steadily, gripping her torso so tightly it was clear he was reigning in a desire to unleash a more aggressive power. I chanted under my breath for about a minute, at a volume only I could hear. It was agony, keeping my hands off my dick. It was throbbing as I whispered to myself over and over, knowing that once I gave in and grabbed my aching prick, I'd have to say it loud enough for them to hear.

"I eat bull cum... I eat bull cum... I eat bull cum."

When I couldn't stand it anymore, I grabbed my dick and stepped up the volume again. I had to be saying it loud enough now, but still no reaction. I guess it sounded too much like my old phrase; same cadence, same subject, same object. In a pique of frustration, I blurted it out loud:

"I EAT BULL CUM!"

They both stopped cold, stunned by the fact that I was practically shouting something, before my words even registered. I wanted them to have no doubt. Looking into Alex's eyes, I said,

"I... eat..."

then turned to Nick,

"... bull cum."

He broke into a huge smile, and I never felt more vindicated. I had done good, even if I hadn't yet done it. We both knew that I would. I was an honorable man, or at least an honorable person. I was now committed, and too wrapped up in the moment to not masturbate.

"I eat bull cum... I eat bull cum... I eat bull cum."

"You do?" asked Nick, once again rhetorically. "Excellent! Although I'm a little concerned about you having the cheek to decide on a new phrase and try it out in the heat of the moment, without prior approval. What do you think about that, Alex?"

"I agree. Something will need to be done about that insolence later, but let's set it aside for the moment. This is too wonderful an occasion to spoil with discipline."

Discipline? What the fuck? That's never been part of our thing -- we've never even talked about it! Does she think she's going to spank me? Fuck it, I'll worry about it later. If she can set it aside, so can I.

"So, our cuck eats bull cum..." Nick pondered. "I guess that means he eats creampie too, because I'm cumming in this pussy!"

"Oooo, yes; give it to me, baby! Pump that load deep in my cunt! I want him to have to dig for it! You want to really get in there, doncha cucky? Get that good mixed up stuff, full of our raunchy fuck-froth!"

I always loved her dirty talk, but this was next level. It inspired me, and I licked my lips between chants, completely ready, wanting it badly. Once again, I dared to take license with my chant as I slowly stroked myself,

"I eat bull cum... I eat creampie... I eat bull cum... I eat creampie...

I eat bull creampie!"

I'd like to think my words helped push Nick over the edge. He roared out a powerful orgasm as his glutes clenched, pushing his big cock deep inside my girlfriend's pussy. His balls pulled up tight on either side of the base of his cock, and I saw the pulses course along the ridge that ran the bottom length of his shaft.

Those pulses ended inside Alex's pussy, and I badly wanted to get in there. I wanted to ingest his superior cum, to pay tribute to him and his manly cock. The fact that I got to worship my girl's pussy at the same time was pure bonus. Nick pulled out and stepped aside, admiring his handiwork before turning to me.

"Come and get it, Kevin. Eat my cum."

It jarred me that he used my name. I was always "cuck" in the bedroom. With one word, he stripped me of my adopted persona, exposing me as that person who lived in the real world, desperate to retain his dignity. Now that person was about to eat another man's... damn! I just can't shake the habit! About to eat a real man's cum. I guess that scrap of dignity was just one more thing I'd have to swallow.

Alex looked over her shoulder at me and beckoned me with crooked index finger. I got up and covered the distance quickly, falling to my knees and burying my face in her dripping snatch. Once I devoured what threatened to drip off, I paused; savoring the taste, the texture. I closed my eyes and breathed deep, wanting to commit this to memory. I thought, so that's what she calls potent. It's very good.

I reverently administered to her battered pussy, licking tenderly, running the tip of my tongue along the folds, rewarded with additional traces of the manly nectar I craved. I groaned and hummed as I worked my way inside her, scavenging everything I found. The deeper I went, the more it tasted of both of them. It was all so very good. Finally, Alex could no longer contain herself, and it spilled out her mouth in a torrent,

"Oh God, that's it, eat his cum from my pussy! I can't believe you're doing this! It's so hot, seeing you be such a bitch. Submitting to my pussy, submitting to his cock, by eating what came out of it. How long before you just take it straight from the cock? Oh God, just the thought of it! I love you; you filthy, pathetic little pervert!"

I came immediately, never breaking stride in licking as I shot several volleys across the sheets. I automatically shoved a hand beneath me, blindly catching what I could, then bringing my hand up to her crotch. Alternating between her pussy and my hand, I lapped at the man cum in her pussy and the boy cum in my hand. The fluids mixed in my mouth, making a cummy cocktail of tribute and shame.

Nick saw the brief hesitation while I held my head back, mouth full.

"Go ahead, cumeater... down the hatch!" Nick encouraged me.

I looked down, closed my eyes, and swallowed. Then I swallow a second and a third time before I got it all down. The volume was more than I was used to; making it abundantly clear not only that it wasn't it all mine, but that he had contributed twice as much.

"Very good, cuck. Veerrry good!"

His praise meant the world to me. I already knew he had encouraged me to take this step, I just hadn't been sure how invested he would be in witnessing it. I could tell that he recognized the effort it required of me, which revealed how badly I wanted to show my deference to him.

But what really surprised me was how Alex reacted. I was watching her as I ate her creampie, and I saw the huge impact it had on her. I never thought my girlfriend would get off on hearing a man order me to clean his cum from her, but it sent her through the roof. I loved the way she looked at me while I did it. The look she gave me as she watched me lick it from her nether lips, then eat it. So much in her eyes, on her face; such depth of complex emotions...

... satisfaction, pleasure; that her husband was so willing to provide such a useful and erotic service...

... curiousity, even wonder; over how any man could submit to another so fully. In front of his own woman...

... contempt; that I ever had the temerity to think I was in any way her equal...

... and ultimately, disgust; that the boyfriend she once thought of as a man, now willingly supplicates himself to another. It probably didn't help that I thanked him for it.

I knew they weren't done with each other, but I had experienced my crescendo, and I retired to the guest bedroom, hoping to revisit it all in my dreams. But lying with my memories, I heard them through the wall, talking. What I overheard the last time had been so good, that this time I was ready with an empty glass to put against the wall. Pro-tip; it really works!

Alex was wallowing in her own reverie, in part over her climax, which had been unmistakabe through the wall, but also about my big step. I clearly heard Nick reflecting on how the first time they had let me into their bedroom, she had told me to watch, she told me when to masturbate and when to come. He went on,

"You also told him to show his penis to your friends and confess his shameful thoughts to them. And tonight I told him to lick up his cum, and I told him to swallow. He needs to be told what to do. This will be a big step for him. He may still be afraid to admit it to himself. He needs you to make him do it. Trust me -- he wants to be forced to suck cock."

My dick started growing as the words bubbled around in my brain. I hardened at the mere thought of it. My dick immediately recognized the truth. Both that I wanted to suck cock, and that I wanted to be forced to do it. The only thing I wasn't sure of was how believable I should make it for Alex.

I'd been kidding myself for some time now that I was being "forced" to eat my cum, then to eat Nick's; telling myself I was forced by my own promise to eat it. Obviously, if I could kid myself to that degree, I wasn't going to have any problem believing that Alex would be "forcing" me. But if she got off on the idea that she really was in charge; well, then I owed it to her to make it look good.

I lay back and pondered it, as I idly fondled my dick. My balls were totally drained, but sometimes I just like to play with myself. I thought back to my big reveal in front of her friends. All she had done was encourage me then, but I recalled how it affected her. I decided I'd do my best to make it convincing, on the chance she'd get off on it.

* * * * * * * *

The next night I got to be in bed alone with Alex, and she seemed to have a lot on her mind.

"Kevin, please tell me you're not mad at me?"

"What? Why would I be mad at you?" I asked incredulously.

"About those things I said to you when you were cleaning me, when you were eating Nick's cum from my pussy. You know I just said those mean things to make it better for you, right? You know I don't mean any of it, don't you? Please tell me you know that."

"Of course I know that. But I'm glad you told me. I'd hate to think you were holding back on my account. I love it!"

"Really? Even when I called you... bitch... and pervert?"

"Especially that! I promise Alex, I loved all of it."

"And I love that you're willing to eat creampie for me, I think it's a beautiful tribute. But, there's still one other thing we have to talk about. The matter of your punishment. Even if your little act of independence turned out wonderfully, I can't allow you to completely get away with it. So, I decided I'm going to torment you."

She reached into my briefs and pulled out my dick and began to play with it as she snuggled against me.

"You won't be chanting, because you're not going to be touching it. And you won't be coming, because I'm not going to let you. Now, just lie back and relax, and listen to me."

She was using that soothing, breathy voice that always makes my dick twitch. Speaking softly, close to my ear, her words burrowed deep into my brain.

"When I saw you doing that, eating my creampie, it was amazing. I was instantly aroused by the thought of it, the sight of it. But now, when I think back on it, what sticks with me - the thing that really gets to me - is that Nick told you to eat his cum, and you just did it. I saw your brief internal struggle, but it was obvious you didn't stand a chance. You didn't decide to do it, you obeyed. You submitted to his will, and he put you in your place. That's what really excites me!"

She stopped stroking me as she felt me harden even more. My dick twitched and tightened once, twice, then relaxed slightly as I exhaled.

"Whoooa, that was a close one!" She exclaimed. "You better behave and keep that cum inside you, or I won't give you what I know you want most."

Her hand tentatively resumed its slow up and down motion. I knew what Nick told her I wanted, but she didn't know I heard that. So, what did she think I most wanted?

"I like that you do what you're told. I like that you're willing to eat my pussy when it's dirty with his cum. I like that your new phrase reminds me of that scene every time you jack off. You really are a little cum-eating bitch, aren't you?

She had to stop again; I was teetering right on the brink. So close that the most she could get away with was to lightly wrap a single finger around the base of my shaft.

"Yeah, you like that. But it's not enough for you to be my bitch, is it? You really loved it when you're submitting to him. You want to be his cocksucker, don't you? His cock sucking, cum-eater. God, you're disgusting!"

"Yes, Ma'am."

I hung my head in deep shame, even while a part of me knew that's not really how she felt, and the other part of me was about to explode in her hand.

"Ma'am? Where the hell did that come from? Ma'am! Kevin, it's me, Alex; your girlfriend. Sure, I'm your cuckoldress too, but we're alone now, you don't have to grovel."

"I want to... Ma'am. Would that be alright? Just for a little while?"

"Oh, baby! Sure it would. You poor thing, I think you need something to soothe you. If I didn't know you better, I'd think you want to suckle on my tits a little. But you've never wanted that kind of comforting before. Is that something you'd like?"

"Yes, Ma'am. I'd like that very much."

She pulled up her oversized sleep shirt and bared a breast for me. I latched on and caressed her nipple with my tongue, noshing my lips on her areola like a baby stimulating flow.

"Did my playful talk make you insecure? Does it make you feel like a little boy to think about submitting to a real man? Is that what's got you feeling so small and vulnerable?"

I nodded my head, my mouth holding her tit captive. Her fingers played in my hair as her comforting words continued to infect my thoughts.

"Poor baby; you must really want to suck cock bad, huh?"

Again, I nodded.

"What do you think will turn you on more... sucking it, or being called those dirty names?"

I continued to suck, and started to cry. I didn't understand why; her words just made me feel so damned helpless and ashamed. It scared me to think of how bad she could hurt me right now if she chose to. I was at her breast and at her mercy; grateful that she allowed me to continue to suckle.

"Aaawwww, it's hard for you to admit, isn't it? To admit it to me; even harder, to yourself. I'm proud of you, you know; it's another step. I'd say it's a big step, but then, compared to what's staring you in the face. Or what's going to be, very soon..."

She didn't have to remind me, I'd been staring back at it in my dreams for days. That long, thin, eye-of-Sauron slit, always searching for the next cocksucker. And once it found that cocksucker, it would start to glisten, then eventually weep that delicious pre-cum. In my dreams, it called to me with an undeniable power. My recollection was interrupted by Alex's continued torment.

"As special as that moment will be, I'd like to make it even better. Remember how hot it was when you first tried out your phrases for us? Of course you do, because you not only lived it, you've watched it numerous times since. It's not just a part of your history, it has the potential to play an even bigger role in your future. That's part of what makes that scene so special for you.

So, I want to do you a favor. I want to video your next step as well, so it can become another one of those unforgettable moments, captured for posterity. Or anyone else we may care to show it to. Would you like that?"

Would I like that? I know I'd like to watch it, but would I like knowing it existed? It would be one more compromising video I'd have to worry about being seen by others. This one would be worse, so the risk would be greater. But didn't that mean the reward would also be greater? The reward was less obvious, but I couldn't deny that the existence of those four videos had already supercharged a couple memorable jackoff sessions for me. I paused my suckling and grudgingly replied,

"I... I think part of me would like that, yes."

"Me too! Then it's a deal. Oooo, I'm so looking forward to this, Kev!"

At least we were on the same page; I was looking forward to it too. If only I could get to sleep with the unsatisfied drill bit she left throbbing between my legs.

* * * * * * * *

The next days were normal enough, beyond the subtle references Alex sprinkled into conversation here and there, reminding me of what awaited. By the time Nick's midweek visit arrived, I was a mess of pent-up emotions.

Once again I greeted him upon entry, and once again the vibe was different. He strode in with what I can only describe as an air of superiority. No salutations, no friendly banter.

"Where's Alex?"

"She's in the bedroom, Sir. Would you like me to go get her?"

"No, that's where I want her. Fetch me my usual and meet us up there."

I went to the kitchen bar to fix his drink as my mind raced through the possibilities of what was happening in our bedroom. Nick was being so assertive, I wondered how he was treating Alex. Then I wondered how he would be treating me later. As soon as it started playing out in my mind, I realized that submitting to that energy was going to be intense, probably for him too. There certainly wasn't going to be any kind of mutual tenderness between us. This was going to be him taking from me. Whether I gave in to him, or was forced, those were my only options.

I delivered Nick's drink to the nightstand, then took my usual place in the corner chair while they made out, seemingly oblivious to me presence. I undressed myself as they undressed each other. Alex finally glanced over at me and announced,

"Cucky, we've talked it over, and we've decided to let you share our bed, since you're going to be an active participant in our lovemaking. You are going to be active, aren't you cucky?"

"I'll do whatever you say, Ma'am."

"Hey, I like that! You're ma'am now; very nice! Goes well with sir. Glad to see you're settling into your place, cuck."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Cuck, why did you put it that way, 'whatever you say'? What about what you want?"

"If... if I say I'm doing it for her, I don't have to admit that... I want to do it for me too."

"Heh-heh, yes! I was wondering whether you understood that. Very good, cuck. You continue to impress."

I crawled onto the bed and sat cross-legged at the foot. Alex placed a hand on Nick's chest and urged him to lean against the headboard and watch. She then got on her knees alongside his hip, with his body between us, his beautiful cock swollen, but still soft enough to hang against his inner thigh. She lowered her face toward it, all the while looking at me. She snaked a hand behind his scrotum and licked his balls, her tongue chasing them as they rolled around in his soft sack.

I wanted to do that. I wanted to taste that manly nutsack. I wanted to take both his balls into my mouth at once. As if reading my mind, she said,

"They're fucking delicious, cucky. You really need to try it!"

She continued to fondle his now slick sack with her hand, as her tongue began to pay homage to his cock. He hardened quickly, and she took it out of her mouth and teased me. She held the shaft against her cheek; it towered over her head. She breathed in his aroma, the musk of his pubes. She licked up and down his hardness, all while commanding my complete attention. Forcing me to look.

"I love this cock, cucky. In fact, I'm not so sure I want to share it. I know you're mesmerized by it, it's obvious. Your pathetic little dick could never compete with such a magnificent piece of man-meat. You don't even deserve to be in the same room with it, unless your paying tribute to it. I know you're dying to pull out that little penis of yours and jerk it. Time to stroke, cucky. Stroke and share with us what's new with you. Go ahead, reveal yourself, beta boy!"

It had been a while since Alex last teased me about my size. It never got old, and always made me rigid as a pipe. Granted, a small O. D. pipe, but made of steel. As soon as I had my little penis exposed, I began to jack it like she told me to.

"I eat bull cum... I eat bull cum... I eat bull cum"

"Yes, you do; you miserable little cum-eater! But you can't stop looking at this cock, can you? And it's not just because that's where your creamy treat comes from. Nooo, you want to suck it, I can see you do."

""I eat bull cum... I'm a cocksucker... I eat bull cum.. I'm a cocksucker."

"Ah, yes, that's it, cucky! Lemme get my phone. This is happening, right now. Smile for the camera and get that big cock in your mouth. Do it cucky, suck it... NOW! Suck my man's cock!"

I looked into the lens and said,

"I'm a cocksucker... I'm a cocksucker... I'm a cocksucker"

Then I obeyed my girl, joined her alongside Nick's opposite hip and took her man into my mouth.

"That's my good boy" Nick praised me.

He patted me on the head and kept calling me his good boy. I had been referred to as "boy" for weeks now, but it hit deeper this time; and it felt good, it felt right. I wanted nothing more than to be Nick's good boy. I was transported to another place, where Alex no longer existed. All that existed was Nick's cock in my mouth, his voice in my ears and his hand on my head.

Alex watched me as I humiliated myself and she gave full voice to her libido,

"To think, you used to be my man; and now look at you, slathering my man's cock with your spit. Now you're just my good little cocksucker! That's it, baby; suck his cock! Take his big, fat cock into that beta-boy mouth of yours! Your little dick is so hard, cucky! I've never seen it this hard. The poor head is so swollen!

Her focus on my dicklette reminded me how much it ached. I reflexively reached for it and Alex snapped,

"No - get that hand off it! You know the rule -- you're not allowed to stroke it unless you're chanting, and you can't very well chant with that slab of meat in your mouth. You're gonna have to either cum hands-free, or wait until Nick has, so you can empty your mouth and jack off."

"That's right cuck, and you should be grateful she's enforcing the rule. Think about it; if you lose control and come before I do, you'll find out what sucking cock feels like when you're no longer horny for your own orgasm. When your just horny for my cock, and my cum. That may be a difficult thing for a virgin boy like you to deal with."

I understood what he was saying, but I didn't really care. I knew I wanted his cock and cum so bad, I was going to suck him to completion regardless of my own state of mind. Still, I thought I'd try to be good, if only out of respect. And while I busied myself respecting him, he goaded me on,

"That's it... good boy, suck it. You like that thick dick, don't you boy?"

You could have told me that pre-cum is hallucinogenic, and I would have thought, well, that explains why this feels so surreal. I began to relax my mouth and throat, bobbing my head in rhythm. Nick continued to stroke my head,

"Yeah, work that knob! This is what you need. A big, fat cock in your mouth. This is who you are now... cocksucker."

The word burned into my brain. Cocksucker. I loved being called that. Even more, I loved that it was him calling me that.

"Such a good bitch-boy. Don't forget to look into the camera every now and then; you'll be glad you did when you watch this later. Or when one of your friends watches it."

That thought forced a shiver through me and I had to release my dick to keep from coming. I stopped my head bobbing long enough to attempt to slowly swallow Nick's cock. The spongy head made the downward transition seem reasonable, not as unforgiving as Alex's dildo, which I had secretly practiced on. But while his spongy head made the downward turn into my throat, the rigid shaft refused to bend. I pushed harder, but my throat just tensed up more in response. Tears were forming in my eyes by the time I gave up trying.

"I can see you want it, but you need to focus on relaxing. Let me do the pushing. I'm going to force myself into your throat. That's what you want, isn't it?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, you need to be forced. I understand. Don't you worry, I'm going to give my boy just what he needs."

To my utter humiliation, I whimpered like a girl. Somewhere in the back of my mind, it registered that now that was on video. I set the thought aside; my libido simply didn't have the bandwidth. There was a magnificent, glistening cock in front of my face, commanding my full attention. He had me lie on my back and he rolled a pillow and placed it under my neck, aligning my mouth and throat. His slight upward curve would now work in our favor.

"Imagine yourself an open hole and accept what you're given."

Nick's cock came toward me upside-down, rigid and pulsing, a single tear weeping from the slit. I reached up and snagged it with the tip of my tongue, and he paused his advance long enough to allow me to savor his exquisite nectar.

I opened my mouth wide, stuck out my tongue, and waited, equal parts afraid and excited. He fed his cock back into my mouth until the head was at the entrance to my throat, then he paused.

"Remember, you're a hole, just a hole for my cock. My cock belongs in your throat. Believe that, relax, and open your hole for me."

He steadily pushed into my throat, and I did my best to open it for him. His head prodded at the tight spot, coaxing it open the same way a cock opens a tight asshole. The deeper he got, the more throat slime he dredged up. Once the entire head of his cock was coated in it, he pushed in without warning, popping into my throat and holding it there.

I immediately feared I would suffocate, then heard his calming tones, initially unable to decipher the words. I made out something about "ten more seconds". Once I realized I was not in immediate need of oxygen; I knew I could make it. I had been panicking needlessly, instinctively resisting such a total physical surrender. When he withdrew, I swallowed some of my slime and gasped for air.

"There you go. See, it fits. Now you just need to get comfortable with it being in there, where it belongs. You ready to try for longer?"

I nodded, took a deep breath and once more opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue. He pushed in again, meeting less resistance this time. He held my head on his cock, my nose now less than an inch from his taint. I wanted to take it all, but he was in control now.

"That's the way to hold it in. Just let me do what I want, and I'll teach you how to please a man with your faggot mouth."

He called me a faggot. I should be insulted, even furious. Instead, I felt ashamed, and excited. It was such a loaded word. Up until now, I had always disliked hearing it. But then, I had always heard it used in hate; a derogatory word meant to insult and hurt; almost like the "N" word. I now saw a further similarity. When used in the right circumstances, between the right people, it could be reclaimed and repurposed. It felt right for Nick to call me that. It made me want to be that, for him.

His hands are gripping my head tightly, I'm impaled on his cock and I can't move. It felt like he held me there for an eternity. When he withdrew, I filled my lungs in ragged gasps until I recovered, then looked into his eyes and saw satisfaction, and knew I was the reason for it. I looked beyond the satisfaction, and I saw his hunger. He wants to give me the rest, I can tell. He just needs to know that I'm not afraid; that in fact, I want it too.

I grabbed hold of my rigid spike, stroking once again as I looked at him and confessed,

"I'm a cocksucking faggot... I'm a cocksucking faggot... I'm a cocksucking faggot!"

Looking at him upside down, I pleaded with my eyes; use me, please fuck my throat! His smile reassured me that he understood.

"That word really does it for you, doesn't it? Faggot. You like being my cocksucking faggot, don't you? You're going to get it all this time. You're going to throat my entire cock, right down to the balls. Get ready faggot, here it comes!"

He pushes into my throat, and my lips quickly reach their previous high-water mark on his shaft. He strokes into me to that same deepth once, twice, and then plunges all the way in, burying his cock down my throat. His balls are draped like saddlebags over the bridge of my nose and I'm staring up at his hairy asshole. His manly musk invades my olfactory as I lay pinned to the bed, soaking in the depravity of it and secretly hoping Alex is capturing every bit of my degradation.

"There it is, you've got all of it. Such a good boy! God, I would so love to blow down your faggot throat right now, but we're going to save that for another time. You deserve to taste my cum fresh from the tap, after eating it diluted with saliva and pussy juice."

I moan through my nose in response, and he slowly pulls out of my throat. Slime trails off his cock and parts reluctantly, falling back into my mouth and trailing across my face. I stare up, enthralled by his cock. He puts it back in my mouth, fucking the first few inches into my mouth as he jacks it from the base.

"We all know you'll never know the feeling of manhood swinging between your thighs, but at least now you have the feeling of it sliding between your lips. Open wide, boy. I'm going to give you my cum now, and you're going to take it. Take all of it and make sure to get a good taste before you swallow it down."

Even if he hadn't told me he was close, I'd have known anyway, once he started growling. Softly at first, coming from low down, deep inside him. It was an unnerving rumbling; equal parts threatening and horny. I felt like I was sucking off a fucking lion, and his big balls, hanging across my nose did nothing to dispel that notion. And all of it in front of the alpha lioness. I was being used -- no doubt about it. And that was exactly how I wanted to feel.

Alex moved in for my close-up, Nick's growling turned into grunts as he blasted his first shot all the way to the back of my sealed throat. His hand bumped my lips with each stroke, but I held my ground in spite of the pummeling. He grunted out three more shots, then slowed his strokes and milked his remaining cum into my eager mouth.

"There you go, bitch-boy. Take a good taste, cocksucker. Then swallow it down like a good little faggot."

Thank you, was all I could think. Oh god, thank you for that gift. I love your cock, and I love your cum, and I will gladly swallow it for you, Sir! I swirled it in my mouth, discerning the texture, the resilience, the lumps. It was far thicker than my own, and I had no doubt it was more potent. I swallowed as I looked into his eyes, hoping my complete and utter devotion was blatantly apparent. Alex quickly set her phone on the nightstand, leaned in to grab my face in both hands, and kissed me aggressively. Her tongue pushed into my mouth and searched, greedy for even the slightest taste that may have lingered. Once satisfied, she broke the kiss and gushed,

"You did it, cucky! You sucked cock! And you did so well, my good little beta boy! It looked so hot! You won't believe how many times you're going to masturbate over that video, you have no idea! I'll bet you're just dying to cum right now, aren't you? That'll make for a good contrast. Kinda like drinking an egg nog, then chasing it with a shot of skim milk."

She was right, on both counts. My cum didn't compare, yet there was no way I wasn't going to be coming very soon, and eating it was not only expected, it was assumed. I looked at her submissively, all but begging her to tell me to do it.

"C'mon cucky, put your little dickie in your hand and get comfortable with your new mantra. Tell us who you are."

"I'm a cocksucker... I'm a cocksucker... I'm a cocksucker"

I was close, and my chant was nudging me closer with each stroke.

"Yeah, that's a good one; but I like the newest one. You know how it goes cucky."

I did, I was just trying to delay my building explosion so I could revel in it. Rather than allow me to slowly step off the cliff, apparently Alex preferred to see me rocket off the edge. So I gave her what she wanted,

"I'm a cocksucking faggot... I'm a cocksucking faggot... I'm a cocksucking fagaaaAAAHHH!"

My cum shot into my hand with a force I was unprepared for, the first two volleys splattering off my fingers and ricocheting onto the bedding. Alex clapped and cheered as I continued pumping, knowing I would still have a palmful to slurp up. And slurp I did, greedily putting on a show for them, enjoying being watched. When I finished, I leaned toward Alex, looking to share my cum-covered lips in a kiss.

"Uhhh... no thanks, cucky. I'll clean Nick's cum off your face all day, but your cum, you just keep that. Sorry, not interested in tasting faggot slime."

It hurt; it was demeaning, but I understood. Things were changing for me and Alex, and even good changes have their downside. It wasn't really that big a shift; I had always placed her above me, she was just doing the same - placing me below her. It felt right, but I knew I would have to process it further. I didn't really want to be in the room anymore, so again, I excused myself and retreated to the guest bedroom.

I could still hear them, but tried my best to tune them out, wishing to focus instead on the feelings I needed to come to terms with. I loved submitting to Nick, I loved the pure tribute, and the correctness of it. I loved the humiliation, the willful sacrifice of my masculinity. The degrading comments from Alex. I loved all of it.

But a part of me felt lessened. I knew it all stemmed from that word... faggot. The derogatory connotations which had been ingrained in me from an early age. The same indoctrination was at the root of both my self-loathing, and my mind-blowing orgasms. As I thought more about it, I realized that the two feelings weren't just coincidental, they were intertwined. They fed off each other. I couldn't see how to abandon one without losing the other. So, it was either abandon them both, or embrace them both.

I knew there was no way I was going to abandon them both. Well, that was easier than I expected! I rolled over, curled up, and drifted off listening to the muffled, indecipherable murmurs of intimate pillow talk drifting through the wall.

The next day, I slept late and woke up to the sound of the front door closing. I got up and went into the master bedroom, where Alex was still beneath the covers.

"Good morning, Kev. Nick's gone to the bakery to get us breakfast. We've still got a few minutes before we have to get up. Why don't you crawl in here beside me so we can talk."

She lifted the covers and I just did that, nestling up against her bare backside and coiling my arm around her middle. She asked,

"How are you feeling this morning, babe?"

"I'm starting to accept this whole new life, but I gotta admit, it's been so intense. So many points along the way where I didn't know what was next. I wonder how things might have been if I had chosen a different direction."

"Well, for what it's worth, Nick knew it all along. That you'd be eating your own, cleaning us, sucking him at will -- all of it. He even told me once, why he likes it so much. I'll never forget how he put it; it was so visceral. He said, 'To fuck a guy's girl, and then make him eat your jizz out of her -- it makes me feel... powerful. Watching him obediently humiliate himself in front of his woman. The tacit admission of inferiority makes me feel more manly. And once they've done that, for most, it's only a matter of time before they want it fresh from the tap'. At first it sounded cruel, but I gotta admit, the more I thought about it, the hotter I got."

"Wow. I'm glad you didn't tell me that earlier, I would have never been able to own my choices the way I do now. Still, I'm having a little trouble with that one name... you know, the F-word."

"My poor, sweet boy. You fought that your whole life, didn't you? Always denying yourself the thing you wanted most."

"I did want to suck his cock, but it's not that simple. I really sucked it to thank him. And I sucked it because a cock like that deserves to be sucked. I sucked it to show him that I respect him. I sucked it to show him that I am inferior and he is superior. And I sucked it to give him intense pleasure. The fact that I enjoyed it is almost beside the point. Still, I'm not sure I want to be a faggot!"

"Aw, I know you don't hunny; but you're not a faggot just because he called you one. You're a faggot because you like being called one. You can't deny how hard it made you to be called one. Just go with it, enjoy it. In fact, why don't you do it right now? Wank to the memory of his cock in your mouth."

I didn't need to be told twice. I pushed my pelvis away from her butt to give myself room, then began to stroke.

"I'm a cocksucker, I'm a cocksucker, I'm a cocksucker".

"Yes, you are," she replied. "you're a cocksucking faggot!"

"I'm a cocksucking faggot!"

"Good boy! You keep that up, I think hearing it from your lips will help you get more comfortable with it. I'd like to think it will always cause you some shame, but we can't have it undermining your identity. I want you to feel confident enough with who you are to be able to entertain the idea of sharing it with a select few friends."

That did it -- I started cumming, quickly rolling away from Alex to avoid spraying on her. Once I had safely deposited my sperm on my belly, I scooped it up and transferred it to my mouth with practiced precision. Alex praised me and pulled me back against her warm body.

"Now don't you worry about how anyone else tries to label you. We know who you are. You're my sweet, submissive, tiny-dicked, cum eating, muff-diving, cock sucking, beta-boy faggot. And I love everything about you. The question is, can you live with that?"

I smiled and curled up next to her, my only thought of the future being how wonderful it would be to just spoon like this forever. If only she hadn't tried to console me further...

"And don't worry about that next step, baby; you don't ever have to take it if you don't want to. No one expects you to take it. But I think in time, most boys like you do end up taking it. And you know where they end up taking it, right?"

Fuck.