Stranded with my Ex-Crush Pt. 03

Chapter 7

I wake and slip out of bed before Nixon even stirs. This time when I change from his button-down to my bikini top, his eyes aren't drinking me in, and I can't help but feel a tinge of disappointment. I was such a fool last night thinking I could open up to him and tell him I still had feelings. It hadn't gone well when I told him the first thing. I don't know why I ever thought it would go over well last night.

I sneak out of the room in silence to let him sleep as long as he wants. It's early, the sun just dawning over the horizon, but Millie is awake in the kitchen, making coffee. She looks up at me with a warm grin as she fills a mug with black brew and slides it across the table.

"Sleep well?" she asks, and I'm reminded of the slight language barrier. Trying to talk to locals is painful, but at least my sunburn isn't anymore. Nix's miracle cure of lotion on my fiery skin actually worked, and now I have to tell him thank you for helping me instead of rubbing it in that aloe vera is better.

"I slept okay, thank you." The first sip of the hot coffee is bitter and awful, but I drink it anyway. I'm more of a three sugars, extra froth sort of gal, but I can see Millie is trying to be hospitable. And I don't shy away from her pile of eggs and bacon when she slings it onto a plate in front of me.

"Eat... Long day," she says, her broken English so charming.

I shove the eggs into my mouth wishing for some salt, but I think back to Nix's words last night at the little dive where we had seafood and drinks. He lied to her, told her we were planning our wedding and got stranded. The fib rolled right off her back; she believed it without hesitation. I wondered what made her look at the two of us and think that. If it was the way we were frustrated and bickering like two old married people, or if she noticed the way I look at him.

In my heart there's this niggling little seed of affection I never could quite snuff out. It's why I hate his success so much, fought to be the best, to outdo him. Not because I hate him as a person, but because I love him. Because the one man I've dated that I just can't get out of my fucking head is the one I can't have and it infuriate me.

"Is good?" she asks, nodding her head upward with a grin.

"Mmmm, so good," I tell her, and I'm not lying. This food is better than anything they fed us on that ship all week. Better than the fish tacos Nix insisted I ate at that dive, and better than starving.

Stirring behind me catches my attention and I glance over my shoulder to see Nix strut out of the bedroom. His shirt hangs open in the front revealing washboard abs, and his pants are tented in front slightly, a morning erection I wish I hadn't seen. Millie grins at him and nods as she gestures.

"Sit, sit." Her shuffle-walk as she plates more food for him entertains me. She's like this old mama bear who has no one to care for, eagerly bustling around this tiny shack with joy. She sets the plate in front of him and bounces back to the counter to get a mug and fill it with coffee. He settles down next to me, a little too close. I can still smell his cologne on my skin from his shirt, but the cloud of it wafts around me now thickening the gravity that pulls me into him.

"Wow, this looks delicious," he comments as he takes a fork offered to him and digs in. He barely looks up at me as he devours the proffered food and I admire how hearty his appetite is. I'm staring, but I don't even realize it until I glance up at Millie whose hands are cupped over her mouth, eyes watering with tears of joy as she watches us. She's probably giddy with memories of her love for her husband while entertaining what she thinks is a couple newly engaged. I wish that were true.

"Oh! I feed animals..." Millie's muttered exclamation draws Nix's attention. He wipes his mouth and gestures.

"We can do it. We'd love to help." The offer is out before it can be rescinded and I scowl at him for roping me into chores around this place, but it's the least we can do. She gave us free room and board and an offer of a ride to Grand Caymon Island. Besides, doing chores around here beats sitting and waiting for her husband to arrive with his boat. All that would accomplish would be more bickering with him or some very uncomfortable conversations, which I'll be happy to avoid.

Chapter 8

I swing the rusty latch on the wooden gate to the goat pen shut with a satisfying clank and dust my hands off on my jeans, smudging away the remnants of hay and dirt. The morning air is crisp, carrying the faint scent of dew and earth. Millie is busy heading off to open her quaint little diner for the day, while her husband remains conspicuously absent. I had hoped he might have slipped in quietly during the night, but alas, no such luck.

In his continued absence, I offered to pitch in with the morning chores, inadvertently roping Lainey into the task as well. She's taken charge of the chickens, which is where she's stationed now, likely amidst a flurry of feathers and clucks. With the goats munching away on their breakfast, I meander down the winding, gravel-strewn path toward the chicken coop, the sunlight filtering through the trees and casting playful shadows along my way.

I walk up in time to see a young boy talking to her. They seem to be struggling through the language barrier but it appears to me that he is here to deliver a package for Millie. I stand at a distance watching. Lainey is smiling, and that smile is gorgeous. I thought she hated children, so her smile doesn't quite fit the circumstance. But it's not faked. It reaches her eyes. And when she cracks a joke he understands, they laugh together.

"Who's this?" I ask, making myself known. Lainey turns around with her remarkable smile, seeing me and batting her eyelashes. It appears that she blushes, but with the bright red sunburn I can't really tell. What I know is she's gorgeous. I'm smitten.

"Oh, this is Francis." She gestures at the boy who grins and waves. "He came to bring this box of egg cartons for Millie. The locals save them and she fills them and sells her eggs in them." I think about how that's a lot of information to communicate when they can barely understand each other, which only makes me think she's all that much more amazing.

"I go now," Francis says, pointing at an old beat-up bike tucked behind a palmetto plant. It's faded paint job and bent frame speak of better days, but he's proud of it as he pulls it up and mounts it, riding off toward the road ahead.

"Bye, Francis," Lainey calls. "Thank you for being helpful." She sets the box on a worktable behind the old bungalow and reaches into a large barrel. When her hand emerges, she is carrying a scoop full of chicken feed. Her shoulders are still bright red, and with the sun coming up, they'll need cover or she'll end up with sun poisoning.

"You were pretty good with that kid." I lean over the fence that keeps the chickens from wandering the island and watch as she slips through the gate.

"Yeah, he's a good kid. Cute too. I'll end up having little towheads though, but I'd love to have a little boy or girl with dark brown hair and brown eyes like that." She absently tosses seed on the ground and chickens swarm her, pecking near her feet. She yelps and jumps up, moving away from them, but they're underfoot. She stumbles around and I chuckle for a second before moving to help.

I swing the gate open and barge in, careful to not let any chickens out as I shut it. "Look, like this," I say, reaching out to take the scoop. Lainey turns her back on me and continues scattering seed when the feeder across the pen is clearly empty and that is where she should be putting it. She scowls at me and I back off, heading for the bin to see if there is another scoop.

"I thought you hated kids." My mind absently wanders to the past and my assumptions of her which are probably wrong. I'm in luck; the barrel does have another scoop so I fill it and return to the pen to dump it into the feeder.

"No, you thought wrong. Which is why everything with Kent went sideways. You stuck your big nose in my business and told him that, but it isn't true." The hint of animosity in her tone makes me feel guarded but I don't let it ruffle my feathers yet.

I stop and turn to watch her again, this time with new eyes. At one point I heard her tell Kent she didn't want children, so now I'm confused. "But you--"

"Yeah, you heard part of a conversation." She stops abruptly and turns to me. "I told him I didn't want kids until I was out of college and had my career set. You horned in and told him he'd never be a father and that was the straw that broke the camel's back." She pinches some seed between her fingers and tosses it at me. It bounces off my chest and scatters at my feet. Her snarky expression with one eyebrow raised irritates me, so I return the gesture, tossing a bit too much seed.

On her exposed skin, sweat glistens and the seed sticks to it. The bits that drop to the ground at her feet draw chickens, as they have been doing, but she is more concerned with the husks and chaff that cling to her sunburnt flesh. "God, what did you do that for!" She brushes at it vigorously wincing and I feel awful. "You're such a jerk."

"Lainey, I..." I try to apologize but she's too upset. She wields her feed scoop with anger in her eyes, swinging it around until the seed flies at me, pelting my face. I bat it away, which sends the seed in my scoop flying too.

"God, Nix," she screeches, but instead of anger in her tone I hear fear. "Oh god! Help!" Lainey darts at me and leaps over chickens. Her scoop is gone and there is a rooster on her tail. It's pecking at the backs of her legs, which makes me chuckle for a second but the fear in her eyes is real. "Help!"

I reach out to her and as I do she wraps her arms around my shoulders and lifts her feet up. I have no choice but to hoist her off the ground, wrapped I my arms. Her body pressed against me does things to me, especially those perfect tits I admired last night in her reflection in the window. Warmth thrums in my body, pooling in my groin.

"Well that rooster apparently does not like you messing with his ladies." I walk toward the gate and carry her out, shutting the attack rooster inside. She is sweaty, clinging to me and covering me in chicken feed that's still stuck to her shoulders. Her blonde hair has fallen from its ponytail and frames her face softly. I can set her down any time but she feels good in my arms, and her grip isn't loosening at all.

"I..."

"Yeah..."

We speak at the same time, and suddenly I feel this overwhelming urge to kiss her. We're filthy, covered in dirt, sand, and chicken feed, but I want her. And the way she's looking at me tells me she may be thinking the same thing I am.

"Lainey," I whisper but her lips crash into mine like a freight train. They're chapped, and I can taste the salty air on them, but I don't mind. Our bodies collide, and she turns in my arms and her legs wrap around my waist as she deepens the kiss. My hands grip her hips tightly, pressing her closer to me. Her tongue slides against mine, and I groan into her mouth. It's like all the pent-up tension between us is finally being released, and I can't get enough of her.

I carry her into the small room we are sharing and press her against the wall, my hands moving up to grip her breasts through her bikini top. Lainey moans into my mouth, and I feel her hands fumbling with the buttons on my shirt. She tears it open, sending buttons flying everywhere, and runs her hands over my chest. Her toes reach for the floor and I set her down.

"We're going to have to go shopping," I joke, but she is hungry, covering my mouth with hers again and swallowing my words. I break the kiss for a moment, gasping for air. "Are you sure about this?" I ask, not wanting to hurt her or make her do anything she doesn't want to do.

Lainey nods, her eyes filled with desire. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

It's all the encouragement I need. I push her bikini top down, revealing her breasts to me plainly now. They're small and perky, nipples already hard with arousal. I take one into my mouth, sucking and teasing it with my tongue while my hand plays with the other. She's salty; I like it. The scent of coconut sunscreen and sweat lingers in the air, mixing with the intoxicating aroma of Lainey's arousal.

Lainey moans loudly, her fingers digging into my back. "Nix, please," she begs, and I know exactly what she wants.

I reach down and carefully peel her sarong away, letting it flutter to the ground like a discarded petal. Then, with a gentle tug, I slide her bikini bottoms off, leaving her completely exposed to my eyes. Her skin is smooth and inviting, with a hint of stubble that only adds to her allure. My desire surges. I want to explore her, to savor her essence with an unrestrained hunger.

"God you're hot," I mumble letting my shirt slide off my shoulders as she pushes my shorts down. Her hands are greedy, exploring my skin as I drink in her curves.

"Shut up and kiss me," she says, pulling my shoulders. I wrap an arm around her waist and guide her backward toward the bed until we topple onto the comforter. Seeds skitter across the floor, breaking free from her sticky skin. The entire bed will be covered in them, but I don't care about the mess. The only think I can think about is how fucking sexy she is. How foolish I've been to resist this temptation for so long.

"I don't have a condom," I mutter, remembering that everything I brought on this god-forsaken trip is on that ship almost to Port Everglades.

"I'm on the pill..." She nips at my bottom lip and wriggles as her legs spread to welcome me. "Just fuck me." Her chest presses up as she arches into me. My body is so ready to be in her but I want to savor the moment too. My lips search her salty skin, sucking her pulse point, biting her ear lobe.

I line myself up with her entrance, then push forward hard, fall into her. She gasps and arches her back, spreading her legs even farther. I grab her hips and hold her gaze as I slowly, inch by inch, fill her up. Whimpers escape her lips--short, choppy breaths that reveal pain, not pleasure. She bites her lip hard but doesn't turn away. It feels like I'm tearing her, and when she squirms, I know it's uncomfortable.

I'm not a huge man by any means but I'm not small. I know my dick is average, maybe a bit more, but she acts like this is torture for a second even though she's ripe with pleasure. There's enough moisture to drown me if my face was buried there.

"Should I stop?" I ask, not wanting to hurt her.

"Please, just..." She claws at my sides, her back still arching upward. Her tits are gorgeous, perfect mounds brushing across my chest. She feels amazing wrapped around me. I close my hand around one of her fleshy globes and knead it, twisting her nipple back to a hard peak.

"Oh god, Lainey," I moan, closing my eyes.

"That's it..." she says, reaching up and threading her fingers through my hair. "Fuck me... fuck me..."

I start to move, long, firm strokes designed to bring her to orgasm as quickly as possible, but also designed to bring me as much pleasure as possible. She's so slick, and her walls contract around me in a vise grip I don't want to escape. I love the way she feels, so warm and tight, so wet and soft. Her whimpers turn to moans and we find a rhythm together that has the bed shaking.

Lainey's breathing gets faster and faster, and I can see the sweat beading at her temples. Her fingers dig into my back, scratching me, and I realize that I'm probably hurting her with the force of my thrusts. I slow down, but she pushes me faster.

"Harder... harder..." she moans. "Make me come..."

I lean down and kiss her neck, biting her skin softly, careful not to irritate her sunburn. "You're so fucking sexy," I whisper into her ear.

"Oh god, Nix..." She's almost there. I can see it in the way she's holding her breath, her eyes squeezed shut. I feel her juices flowing, adding to the stickiness of our bodies. I can't hold back anymore. The way her pussy walls contract around me and squeeze my cock as she shudders beneath me sends me over the edge.

I'm going to explode. I drive into her one final, deep time, and she clenches her pussy around me and grunts my name. It's too much--I can't hold myself back--and I lose control. I come hard, filling her up with my hot seed. It rushes in and fills her; then I feel it drip out of her, and I'm not sure how much is her and how much is me.

Lainey lets her arms drop onto the bed and I lay on top of her. She's breathing hard, her cheeks red and her hair splayed across her face. I can tell she's in pain, but she's smiling. I prop myself on my elbows and look down at her.

"That was amazing," she says.

"You're amazing." I lean down and kiss her forehead, then her lips. "You're so beautiful."

"I'm not," she says, looking away, "but thank you."

"I'm sorry if I hurt you."

She taps my side and I take it as an indication she wants up, so I stand and offer her my hand. She yelps and cups her pussy as she takes my hand and stands. Both of us glance at the bed--no mess except chicken feed. But I notice blood running down the inside of her thigh.

"I think you... I um..."

"I'm sorry," she whispers, flushing redder than her sunburn. She grabs a tissue and wipes herself clean with her back turned to me, then ties her sarong around her chest, picks up her bikini and leaves the room--to head to the bathroom I assume. I grab my board shorts, confused by what just happened and sit on the edge of the bed. I'll have to shake out the comforter and sweep the floor.

As I put my shorts on I see a spot of blood on my dick and it hits me. I didn't hurt her, and that wasn't her period. She was a virgin and that's why she yelped and felt so tight. Oh god, what did I do? I draw my hand over my face and sigh. That sex just got a lot more awkward than I intended, and I feel like a total jerk that her first time wasn't even special.

I toss myself back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I need to make sure she's alright.

Chapter 9

I sit at the small bamboo table in Millie's eat-in kitchen with hair dripping down my back. After seeing how badly I'm burnt and the chicken feed stuck to me, Millie insisted I shower. She showed me how it worked and offered a clean towel, though I didn't take my bikini off because the flimsy sheet hanging around the area may as be a window. I feel better though, clean at least.

"So pretty," Millie says, patting my hand as she sits across from me sipping tea.

"Thank you. I appreciate the shower." I cradle my teacup in my palms. It has to be the nicest China she owns.

"Clean feel better." She smiles and nods and sips her tea again. "Where fiancé go?" Her head tilts downward as she speaks, causing strands of grey hair to sway gently around her face like delicate silver threads caught in a breeze.

"Oh, Nix walked up the beach. He said something about going to the shop to buy a few things." He mentioned that he would look for a faster way to get to the embassy, but I don't want to upset Millie. She's been very welcoming and is such a kind woman.

"Oh, he so good, take care you. You know, when Marco almost die, I say to him we get marry." She nods as she says the words, brow furrowing. "Big storm sink ship; he almost die. I almost lose him. He my sweetheart, so I not want to lose him. I not take chances now. Nothing come between me and Marco. We say we love every day and I so glad. You say to fiancé every day you love. And you not take chance. Life too short."

Millie's words stir something deep inside me, causing tears to well up in my eyes, and I quickly blink them away before they can fall. She has no inkling of just how profoundly her story resonates with my own experiences. Years ago, I had a fleeting opportunity to reveal my feelings to Nix, but I chose silence, fearing that the sting of rejection would be unbearable if I had laid bare the depth of my affection for him before he distanced himself and pushed me toward Kent. Nix may not have faced a near-death experience in a shipwreck, but the bond we shared was irreparably severed, leaving an unspoken void between us.

"You're very lucky to have Marco," I tell her as she stands with empty teacup in hand. She moves with such grace, sweeping off to the small table where the tea kettle sits. Her long white skirt brushes over the floor and I think of the chicken seed swept into the dustpan in Nix's hand when I came back inside.

I could have told him then that I have feelings for him, but I chose not to. He asked if I was alright and mentioned he was heading out for his walk. I don't know if I truly want to express my feelings--that I care about him deeply, maybe even love him, and likely have for a long time. Admitting it would make it real, and the possibility of him rejecting me would become real again. I don't want to experience that kind of pain once more.

I lower my gaze to the cold tea in front of me, feeling lost. Everything I've ever desired with him is right within reach, yet I can't find the words to express it. I know he won't react in the way I hope or need him to. To complicate things further, I gave him my virginity. That's something I'm going to dwell on for years, and I'm never going to get over it.

Millie goes about her business and I finish the tea and set it on the table next to her dirty cup. Later she'll draw some water from her well and do the dishes, but I still have chickens to feed, so after tying my hair up I finish that chore. I work with her for a few hours before she returns to the diner to close up and I am exhausted.

I spent most of the day in the shade, yet my sunburn has intensified. As I painfully fall into bed, I regret tearing Nix's shirt. I wish he were here to offer it to me. I feel lonely, but I know he wouldn't abandon me here--he can be a jerk, but not to that extent. Despite that, my shoulders ache. So, I take off my bikini top, toss it onto the floor along with my sarong, crawl into bed, pull the covers over me, and drift off to sleep.

When I wake to the bed shaking, it's late. The sun is down; the bungalow is quiet. I see Nix's silhouette against the moonlit window. "It's late..." I mumble, and he sighs.

"No luck finding a ride, but I got a t-shirt and shorts for you. I got small. I didn't know what size to get. I hope they work." As he lays down next to me on top of the blankets I turn to my back. The scent of new clothing fresh from a souvenir shop wafts my direction and my skin craves the feeling of a clean cotton tee.

"That was kind of you. Thank you." I'm so ready to bury the damn hatchet with him and move on, and I pray to whatever island gods watch over this tiny bungalow that he is too.

Nix says nothing. The bed shakes again as he readjusts his position and I feel his hand brush mine, our fingertips lightly touching. Millie's words ring in my ears. I cannot tell him I love him, but I can't just lay here next to him and do nothing. Not when everything inside of me is aflame just because he's in the room.

I remain motionless for a moment. He seems exhausted and distressed, and I don't want to bother him; I only want to offer solace. My fingers instinctively find their way between his, and I'm taken aback when he grasps my hand and holds it firmly. I listen carefully, wondering if he's already asleep and I'm simply the woman in his dream whose hand he's clutching. But when he lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles, I feel a current run up my spine.

Maybe he's still kissing me in his sleep. Or maybe I'm going crazy. Maybe he's just being kind. I shouldn't have touched him. My thoughts are a jumble; my heart is pounding even faster than my thoughts, and then he kisses my fingers again. I turn my face toward him, and his lips glide over my cheek, meeting mine in the shadows.

"You should have told me you were a virgin, Lainey. I'd have done things entirely different," he whispers, and the air on my arms stands on end. "You smell nice." My heart stills for a second. When I saw that blood running down my leg I knew what it was. I hoped he just assumed it was my period or something. I felt foolish, but I said nothing. He has no idea how special it was to me anyway, even if he didn't make it that way on purpose. He's the one I wanted to give it to years ago.

"Millie let me use her shower. It's outside..." I'm not sure why I had to add "it's outside" and I feel like a buffoon. He's here so close to me, breathing on my cheek and I'm talking about a third-world shower.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks in a whisper. Millie's room is on the other side of this wall. She can probably hear every time the bed squeaks. I feel the same question rising inside me. Why didn't I tell him? Why didn't I blurt it out that I'm so fucking in love with him and want him to see that?

"I don't know," I admit. "I didn't want you to... you know..." My words flounder. I shrug but I know he can't see me.

"Judge you? Why would I do that?" His fingers toy with the thick edge of the blanket and his find mine again, curling around them. "Lainey, I'm sorry for being such a douche."

My heart aches for that apology to be for everything that happened years ago with Kent, not just now on this trip. But I know him. Fucking a hot girl on a trip when you're thousands of miles from home isn't the same thing as committing to one person for life. He's getting his rocks off as a fling. We'll get on a plane back to the mainland and he'll forget all about me.

"It's ok. It's in the past, Nix." I want to add "I got over it a long time ago," but it's not the truth. I'm not over it. I have to blink back tears now just thinking about it.

"Can I kiss you?" he purrs, his hot breath on my cheek. More tears burn my eyes. I sigh as I clamp my eyes shut not allowing them to come out. I want him the way he wants me, but I want more and I know I'll never be satisfied with just a fling on this island. I should never have come here.

"Nix, I..." I'm hesitant despite feeling the urge to feel his skin against mine. I'm well aware that my clothing is lying on the ground except for my bikini bottoms. Only the blanket separates my body from what it craves, what I had only earlier today that I want again already.

"It's alright if you say no." He backs away and I grab his bicep, pulling him back.

"No, I want you to," I mumble and in the faint light from outside I see him smile.

"Can I do it right this time?" he asks.

I nod, feeling his growing whiskers brush my cheek. The bed shakes again as Nix pushes himself up and hovers over me. His looming form blocks the moonlight, and I let my eyes flutter shut as his lips press against mine and part them delicately. I'm a flower unfolding as he peels the blanket back, a single finger trailing lightly over my burnt shoulders and across my collar bone.

His touch sends makes me shudder, igniting a fire in me. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. He deepens the kiss with his tongue exploring every inch of my mouth. I melt under his touch, my body craving more of him. His hand travels down my body, stops at my waist and pulls me closer to him. I can feel the heat radiating off his skin, and it only makes me want him more.

"Nix," I moan into his mouth, and he pulls away, his eyes searching mine for permission.

"Are you sure?" he asks, and I nod. My desire for him overpowers any doubts or fears I have.

He kisses me again, and his hands roam over my body, igniting every nerve. I let out a gasp as he trails kisses down my neck, his teeth grazing my skin lightly. His hands push the blankets all the way back and trace patterns on my skin. I arch my back, giving him better access, and he takes advantage of it, his lips finding their way to my chest. I let out a moan, my fingers tangling in his hair as he explores me. His tongue swirls around a nipple as he cups my breast and kneads it.

In that moment, I forget everything else. The only thing that matters is him and me, lost in our passion.

As Nix's lips trail down my body, I feel a sense of euphoria wash over me. His touch ignites a fire in me, and I can feel myself losing control. I let out a moan as his fingers find their way to my waistband, tugging at it eagerly. With a swift motion, he pulls my bottoms down and exposes me fully to his eyes. I can't see his face, but I picture him looking drunk with lust, eyes devouring me.

He leans down, his lips kissing across my hip bone. I've made out with guys, let one feel me up a few times. But never has a man been so close to tasting me and fuck do I want him to do it. I weave my fingers into his brown wavy hair and he seems to want the same thing I want--his lips on my clit.

I whimper softly as he pulls away, his eyes meeting mine. He's giving me a chance to change my mind and my body quivers with the thought of him stopping. He smiles, reading my expression, and he leans down again. I feel his lips on me, his tongue flicking gently over my clit. I gasp at the sensation, my hands fisting in the sheets beneath me. He grabs my hips, pulling me closer, and I can feel the heat that's radiating off him.

I gasp as he pulls away again, my body craving more of him. "Please," I moan, and he gives in, his lips and tongue finding their way back to the spot that's sending shockwaves through every muscle. I feel the pressure building in me, every cell in me trembling with anticipation.

As his tongue finds its way inside me, I let out a moan, my fingers tangling in his hair. He licks me slowly, his tongue moving in and out of me and I can't help but think about how good it feels. No man has ever made me feel like this. The heat between my legs is growing and I know I won't last much longer. He sucks my clit into his mouth and I let out a moan, my head falling back. My whole body shakes with pleasure; I'm going to snap.

My hands tangle in his hair, and I pull him closer, wanting to be as close to him as possible. I've never wanted someone to eat me out so badly before. I feel him smile into me, and that sends me over the edge. I tighten my grip in his hair as I come, my orgasm ripping through me. I barely control the sounds coming from my mouth as I jolt with pleasure. I've never come so hard before and it feels amazing, quaking and convulsing under him while he languidly laps at my juices.

My body is still shaking as he pulls his shorts off. I watch as he tugs his shirt over his head and I can't help but notice how ripped his chest is. I can't stop myself from running my fingers over his six pack abs. He grabs my hand and brings it to his lips, kissing the backs of my fingers. Then he leans down and kisses me. His dick presses against my inner thigh and I open to him.

This time, it won't hurt. This time, I get to enjoy every single inch of his girth and length and as he whispers, "I'm going to fuck you now." My pussy clenches, aching to have him inside me.

I hold my breath as he presses the tip of his cock against my entrance. He lets out a groan and I gasp as he fills me up. He's so big and it feels so incredible. I push my hips toward him, needing him to go deeper. He fills me up, his cock pressing against my inner walls. I've never felt so full in my life.

"Oh my god," I whisper. I can feel him throb inside me, his cock pulsing as he tries to hold back. He leans down and kisses me again before starting to thrust in and out of me slowly. I moan, my kisses becoming more desperate. He's so big, it's like nothing I've ever felt before. I'm so wet and he's so hard and he's hitting all the right places.

"God, Nix, it's incredible." I'm lost, not even sure what I'm saying to him. I've never done this. I don't know if I'm supposed to touch him somewhere or say things. I just know he's got my pussy on fire for him and I never want it to end.

"You feel so good, Lainey," he says, his voice ragged with lust. "I've never felt someone so tight. I want to fuck you forever."

His words are like a drug, and I'm addicted. I've never had someone talk to me like this. I've never felt so wanted. So wanted and so loved and so sexy. I want to feel the warmth of his cum explode inside me, his thick cock pulsing against my inner walls as he thrusts into me. He picks up his pace, his thrusts coming faster and faster, harder and harder. I can feel myself getting close again, my body trembling with the pleasure of it all. I throw my head back and moan as he pistons into me, my hands gripping his muscular ass.

I come hard, my body shaking and shuddering as I do. He groans as he thrusts into me a few more times before slowing down. I can feel his cock pulsing in me. I can feel the warmth of his cum as he fills me up. He blows out a few heavy breaths before collapsing on the bed next to me. He's heaving for breath like me, and the shared moment goes without sharing words.

He pulls me into his chest and I feel his cum draining out of me, but I don't even care if Millie is upset. I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by again. My mind is reeling. I didn't say the words, but my body said it. It screamed "Goddammit I love you, Nix," and I hope he was listening. Because I may never have the courage to say it again.

I turn into him and let him hold me. I press kisses to his chest, and his chin rests on my head. This is how it's supposed to feel, how love is supposed to go. He fecks me, then holds me and tells me I'm the one. But his words never come, and mine remain silent, paused in the air between us.

His snores meet my ears and I let fresh tears fall. If this island is all we ever have, it will have to be enough, because when we get on that boat to the consulate and fly home, my heart is going to be shattered. He's never going to be this with me there. Not in the world where we're competitors and sworn enemies.

Chapter 10

Morning dawns and the chickens squawk at us to alert us. I hear the nasty rooster who chased Lainey yesterday and smile before I even open my eyes as I remember the way she leapt into my arms and what followed. Last night was a moment I'll treasure forever too, the soft conversation before I asked to kiss her.

I manage to blink myself into alertness and squint at the sunlight pouring into the room. She's still asleep peacefully, though her chest is bared to the room this morning. We fell asleep naked with me holding her, which was quite pleasant, though I swear I heard her crying again. I hate how tired I was after that romp but I spent all day walking, hoping to find someone who could get us to the consulate a bit faster than Millies husband, who is still MIA.

There is no noise in the house, only the croon of a rooster outdoors, so I carefully roll off the bed and cover Lainey up more modestly. My shorts are tangled in the comforter that seems to be wrapped around her legs like a sailor's knot, so I find my soiled swimwear on the floor from the other day. Lainey's new shirt and shorts I bought for her are still in the bag on top of the dresser where she can find them when she wakes.

I don't know what the day ahead of us has in store for us, but I hope we get a chance to talk at some point. Yesterday went by very quickly, but tell that to my aching feet that are blistered now from walking and my lower back that protests as I open the door and creep out into the main part of the house.

Millie's bedroom door is ajar, the light off. I don't see her anywhere but there is a fresh pot of coffee on the burner so I pour myself a cup and walk out to the front porch and sit on one of the rickety old wicker chairs. Her little hut sits just off the beach, but I can see the whitecaps of cresting waves if I lean to the right and peer down the path lined with sawgrass. It's a beautiful morning.

My heart is so confused by the things that've happened between me and Lainey the past few days. We're both so alike, so stubborn and fixated on being the best, but she has this quality about her that makes her undeniably attractive. I can't fight the urge to want to be close to her, to talk to her and hear her warm laughter. It's like a gravitational force that pulls me in when I know how dangerous it could be.

"Hey," I hear, and I turn over my shoulder to see Lainey standing in the doorway with a cup of coffee in her hands. She's wearing the shorts and shirt I bought, though they're a bit snug, pressing against her chest to allow the outline of her nipples to peek through. I swallow hard and realize I haven't yet gone to the bathroom and my dick is already swelling in response to that sight.

"Good morning," I tell her, then force my eyes back to the path entrance where saw grass dips with the ocean breeze. "It's nice out here."

She walks a few steps out onto the porch's wood planks and stands right upwind from me, where I catch a whiff of her feminine scent, the sex from last night, and a breath of her coffee that she sips. So many things run through my mind. I want to ask her if she enjoyed sex with me. I want to find out if she's feeling okay today, if her sunburn hurts. I need to know if what happened between us the past forty-eight hours is like the unwritten rule of Fight Club, or if we are ever going to talk about it.

When I get home my son is my priority. Things may have gone sideways in my past relationship but he's my everything now--that and my job. I'd never expect Lainey to be a stand-in mother. She has her whole life ahead of her, and she shouldn't have to care for someone else's kid. And speaking of her career, she is set to bury my company's leading technology with some of her own. It puts us at odds, makes us rivals in a way. And how would it look if the two CEOs of the largest tech innovators of our times were in a relationship?

"The ocean looks so inviting," she mewls as she walks farther, standing on the edge of the porch where her tiptoes can curl around the plank. She looks like she may take off in a sprint toward the ocean and dive in with her full strength, toned calves, sculpted thighs. My eyes are trailing over her again, noticing the curve of her ass that is just as high and tight as I remember when I was her mentor and I would check her out.

None of the other women even came close to her. They still don't. Lainey is a masterpiece, a work of art crafted by the hand of God for a man like me to admire. But she's always been a look-don't-touch sort of woman. Which is why I know the lines we've crossed here on this island paradise should never have been crossed. Things get messy and complicated, and hearts get broken, and that's the last thing I want for her. I won't break her again. It nearly ruined her the first time.

"Nix," she says, and I realize I'm staring. My eyes drift upward to her smile, where her lip is worried between her teeth.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked if you want to take a walk with me." Her eyelashes bat a thousand times and I'm tempted, but I know if I do it won't be talking that we do. The way my dick went full mast on me just at the sight of her is a huge red flag. Lainey is addictive and I'm jonsing for a fix.

"I, uh... I walked a lot yesterday. My feet are kinda sore." My excuse turns the corners of her smile downward and she turns away.

"Alright... I'll go alone..." She steps off the porch and my gut is wrecked.

Somehow that simple response, without any drama or emotional fanfare, punches me and I know how foolish I am. She wants companionship, company, a conversation--the one I feel we need to have. She wants it. I want it. But I sit here and watch her walk away because I can't control myself. Because the woman who is quite possibly the most attractive creature on this planet, whose heart is hand crafted for a man like me, with whom I have so much in common, is walking away from me and all I can think about is bending her over and fucking her silly.

And that's not going to do any good.

There is more to a real relationship than sex, and I'm not good at that shit. My ex proved that to me. Hell, I proved that to me when I pushed Lainey into my brother's arms then got ravenously jealous of them and split them up just so he wouldn't have her. How the fuck she's still single is beyond me. Any man could snatch her up and wife her, and they'd be getting the prize of the century. She's smart and sexy, funny and entertaining, and she is bold--she knows her shit, and it terrifies the fuck out of me.

Her head and shoulders vanish behind a dune and I grit my teeth and stand up, setting the coffee mug down on the porch railing so I don't spill it on myself. It's not fair how my mind can see how perfect we would be together but my heart will forever push it away. It will never work. I will end up ruining it somehow, the way I ruin everything. The way I ruined my own company by ignoring Lainey's science when she tried to point it out. I dismissed that and now she's set to revolutionize the industry and make me a fool and I couldn't be more proud of her.

Now I wish she could just see my heart and know what I'm thinking because the wall I built up between us is keeping me from having what I want. But maybe she doesn't want it. Maybe I'm just a hot body in a bed and she's going to go home with a great tale. Maybe that's what I deserve for the way I treated her.

Chapter 11

The ocean breeze feels good on my skin. Growing up in the Northeast there aren't too many mornings a year where I can walk the shore barefoot with only shorts and t-shirt and feel comfortable. I'm made for the warmer weather, the sunshine and sand. I'm part mermaid, part business bitch and one hundred percent discouraged that Nix sat there on that porch like a fucking bump on a log instead of walking with me.

My shoulders slump as I dump out the black coffee and set the mug on the ground. I find a spot just outside of the reach of the saw grass and smooth the sand before sitting down. It's like he's avoiding anything real, like talking to me might make him feel things he doesn't want to feel, which only further confirms my gut-wrenching assumption that he's been fucking me for fun and not because he wants me.

The waves crash on the shore, creeping closer and closer with each crest. I watch them and wonder what Eve though when I didn't get back on that boat, if she called the authorities, demanded they turn the boat around. I picture her stomping her petite heeled foot and fisting her hands at her sides in defiance as they tell her they're not turning around and it makes me chuckle. But the reality sinks back in fast as I remember where I'm at and who I'm with.

Of all the people to be marooned here with, why him? Why not some other sexy man with loads of charm and buckets of money? Fate's playing a cruel game with my heart, toying with emotions I thought I buried and making them bubble to the surface. Maybe they're chaff that needs to be blown away in the wind, or maybe it's time for me to realize that I can't keep pretending I don't feel something.

I sink my fingers into the cool sand, knowing in a few short hours when the sun rises high in the sky and warms the ground, this sand will be baking hot. Love is like that, isn't it? When you're not around the person you crave and desire it simmers down into something you can control and push away. You can neglect it and get to a point where it doesn't hurt so bad that you can't have them.

But when the sun rises over your love, it fuels the fire that burns out of control. A beast of a force nothing and no one can temper or slow, and I am there right in the middle of the forest fire with the hurricane-force winds blowing it into a raging inferno that is devouring me. And the worst part is I can't even fucking tell him. I can't even be real with myself long enough to believe it or let it consume me the way I want. I keep running from it, pulling up stakes and finding some other way to ease my troubled mind.

My eyes sweep out over the sand toward the shore in the distance where Millie's seafood shack is. I see movement there, someone walking, carrying a large basket. It's a woman; I see her skirt dancing in the wind, a large floppy hat on her head bouncing with each gust and step. The closer she gets the more her features come into view. It's Millie, probably returning from opening her shop and I'm here to greet her.

I stand, waving my hand to her and she grins at me. As she approaches I pick up the coffee mug and walk toward her. She's carrying a large basket of goat feed and by the looks of it, struggling to do so. I grab a handle and fall into step with her.

"Good morning," she says, a bit winded from her trek across the beach.

"Morning, you were up really early today." I think back to how the rooster crowing woke me up and Nix was gone again. I'd hoped to wake up with him, talk softly, maybe more. But his side of the bed was warm still, and he hadn't bothered to wake me up.

"Goat need eat." She nods firmly. "I hear Marco come home today. You get ride." Her smile meets her eyes; she's happy for us to go home probably to continue what she thinks is some fairytale romance and I'm sick to my stomach about it all. I don't want to leave. I want this house, those chickens, that damn fucking rooster to all be mine. Mine and Nix's. It brings tears to my eyes I blame on the sand as we walk the narrow path back toward the house.

Nix no longer sits on the porch where I left him. The house looks deserted until he walks around the side, his chest covered in droplets of water while he uses a towel to dry his wavy locks. My eyes meander across his chiseled form admiring the way he takes care of himself. I wonder if he punishes his body the way I do, with heavy workouts and long runs that fight the urges I have to self-comfort. Because my self-comfort would always involve him--thinking of him, missing him, crying over him, pretending it's his fingers that search my most sensitive parts when I close my eyes and touch myself.

"Morning, Millie," Nix calls, and he jogs over to take the feed basket from both of us. "I'll carry this around back for you," he tells her, making a very distinct point to meet my gaze. It lingers there for a second and I'm the first to look away.

"Thank you, Mr. Nixon," Millie says, and it makes me chuckle and hide my grin behind my hand as he walks away.

She nods at the house and I follow her, only to be put to work shucking corn and cutting it off the cobs. She loads me up with green beans to snap and potatoes to peel. I take the work patiently, wondering where Nix has gone again, and by late afternoon, he staggers in looking exhausted, sunburnt, and tired. He's in no mood to talk despite how desperately my heart wants to hash out the shift in dynamic between us. I'm beginning to realize it's another of fate's cruel tricks.

By the time we collapse into bed with the knowledge that Millie's husband will be here sometime overnight, we're both too tired to talk. Nix doesn't bother trying to do the over/under rule I laid out on night one. He pulls me against his body and kisses the back of my bare shoulder--clothing off is more comfortable with this sun burn, besides we've fucked twice already--then grunts a quick "goodnight" before promptly starting to snore.

Dear Lord when I wake, let it be to nothingness, or if nothing else, let it be to solace. My heart is going to be destroyed, and the only thing to do about it is to put on my happy face and pretend I'm okay because I'm really not, and no even Eve could help me fix it this time.

Chapter 12

When the clock strikes four in the morning and I hear deep voices resonating from the kitchen, I realize Millie's husband has returned. I lie there, aware that today marks the beginning of our journey to the consulate and eventually back home. Despite this, a sense of disappointment lingers. My relationship with Lainey has shifted dramatically, and I'm curious to see how it unfolds, but life has to go on. I have responsibilities--my job and my son await my return.

Even though I'm curious about what's going on with Lainey, my priority is my son. I need to board that boat and return home, focusing on safeguarding my family and assets. Anyway, Lainey might see me as a fun fling, but I doubt she's interested in a genuine relationship with me, especially after the harsh and hurtful words we've exchanged, particularly in the last week.

I let out a gentle sigh and place my hand on her thigh, giving it a tender squeeze. She stirs from her slumber, stretching her limbs with a sleepy yawn, then rolls onto her side on the narrow bed to face me. "Good morning," she coos, yawning again. Her face is placid, sleepy. I'm craving another dip in her pool but it's hardly the time, besides the fact that there is too much unresolved between us to ask her for that again.

"I think I hear Millie's husband. We finally have a ride to the consulate."

She stays still for a while, and I wonder if she's lost in thoughts like mine. Then, she suddenly gets up and begins gathering her stuff, naked and unashamed in front of me. She's effortlessly beautiful, and I can't help but appreciate her figure, noting the way her skin responds to my attention. She slips into the clothes I got for her, covering up what I wouldn't mind admiring a bit more.

I watch her casually toss her bikini and sarong into the white plastic bag from the t-shirt and shorts I bought her. They suit her just right, and even though she's not wearing anything underneath, I can't help but notice how attractive she looks. It's already tricky enough to manage my morning routine with a bit of morning wood, and she just adds to the challenge by being so fucking sexy.

"You coming?" she questions, lingering at the doorway with her phone poised like a conductor's baton. Her gaze drills into me, and I give a nod, slinking out of bed like a cat who's had enough of napping. Once my stuff is haphazardly tossed into the bag with hers, we meander toward the chatter. Millie lights up like a Christmas tree the second we waltz into the room.

"Oh good, you wake." Her grin beams just as brightly at the ungodly hour of four a. m. as it does when the afternoon sun is high and mighty. "This Marco. You need ride. He say you go now--water calm. Later there storm, he not risk."

Marco's no spring chicken, with skin like an old leather book and hair that's more salt than pepper. His grin suggests that English might be a bit of a puzzle for him, unlike Millie who's at least trying, but I can tell he's a kind hearted man. I extend my hand for a friendly shake. "Nixon Walsh here. Pleasure to meet you, Marco."

"Is nice," he says, taking my hand. He gives it a hearty shake, like he's trying to start a lawnmower, then swivels to Lainey, who expertly maneuvers herself into the prime hiding spot behind my shoulder. "Is nice." He nods at her. "We go boat soon. You coffee, you coffee." He utters those words, his finger darting towards each of us in turn, and I notice Lainey inching closer to my side. Her body language betrays her discomfort, and sensing the tension, I decide to maintain our facade by gently draping my arm around her shoulders.

A peculiar twinge in my chest has me wondering whether this little escapade is a stroke of genius or a blunder of epic proportions. I've already pilfered more than my fair share--seriously, way more. Like her virginity--had I known that little nugget of information... Who knows what I'd have done? Lainey isn't exactly the queen of mixed signals either, so now I'm trying to figure out if she's on board with this charade or if she genuinely wants me.

For the next twenty minutes we prepare for the trip, sipping coffee and waking up. Millie lavishes us in snacks for the boat ride and sunblock for when the sun rises high. She even offers me a hat to keep the sun off my head, which I refuse. They've already done too much for us. And before I know it, I'm seated on the bench at the back of a large fishing boat, the sort that goes out for weeks only to return with a hull full of sturgeon or tuna.

The waves lull us into a trance and we sit side by side staring out at the horizon. Lainey looks a little green, but I don't mention it. We've hardly spoken all day. I don't know how to broach the topic. I want to go back to that island and never leave. Whatever spell came over us back there, that made us put aside all our differences and past hurts and really connect, I want that to linger like a raincloud over me in a desert.

"Oh storm be so bad later," Marco says, offering us one of the many fruits Millie put in a basket for the trip.

"You sail a lot? I'm sure you can read the waves and see when things will be bad." I take a mango, but Lainey declines to eat or speak even. She sits hugging herself in silence making my heart ache to pry those arms open and drape them around me. Marco sways on his feet as the boat rocks and wipes his forehead with the back of his arm. I'm grateful for the sunblock because I'd be blistered without it. Lainey even slathered it on thick before we left.

"I see many storm. One toss ship. Almost die." He lifts his shirt revealing a scar across his stomach that looks like he was almost sliced in half. "Life short. Not let thing pass you by. You know?" His eyes glaze over as he stares out on the horizon and nods with a deep pout. Then he walks off without another word.

As he walks away my heart sinks. I look at Lainey who looks like she's about to vomit and realize that this moment is passing me by. I'm letting it pass me by because of my own damn pride and inability to admit that maybe all my bickering with her for the past year and especially on this trip was because I knew how bad I messed up. I should never have set her up with Kent when she was perfect for me all along. I was so stupid and selfish.

"God, I can't wait to get off this boat." Lainey cradles her stomach and looks up at me with pain in her eyes. They search me, the way a child looks at you when they need your comfort. We stare at each other for a moment and I feel like she's going to say something. I want her to say something--to say the words I can't seem to find. That she wants to stay on the island, or at least to take the island with us, so we don't have to say goodbye.

But she blinks and I screw up again, blurting out, "Yeah, I can't wait to be home."

That little bit of pain I see there, the kind that I know my words could comfort, it vanishes as her expression shifts. She blinks a few times, and I see a different sort of pain, the type I never want to see in her eyes. The type I saw when I introduced her to Kent and told her she'd be perfect for him. The kind that built this goddamn wall. Then she says, "Yeah, me too."

And it's over.

Lainey is staring out over the cresting waves and there's a wall of ice between us now. My brain scrambles to find words to undo what I just did. "I mean, it was a nice trip but it will be good to sleep in my own bed."

That isn't the right thing to say either, and I fear I'm only making it worse, so I shut up. I drop my chin to my chest. How could we get so close to something so amazing and this one three-hour boat ride be the destruction of it all?

Maybe it was just island magic.

Maybe we're not meant to be...