Pheonix - Pt. 01

Ethan sat on the edge of his bed, half-heartedly rolling his shoulders back in an attempt to make them seem broader. He had been doing push-ups earlier, hoping the burn in his arms would make him feel stronger, more solid--more like the man he was supposed to be. But the more he tried, the more unnatural it felt. His reflection in the mirror didn't exude strength or confidence; instead, it showed hesitation, like someone wearing clothes that didn't quite fit.

He adjusted his jaw, tightening it the way he'd seen Jayce do so smoothly, but it just made him feel stiff. He let out a dismissive breath and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up slightly, trying for an easy, careless look. It didn't work. No matter how much he tried to force himself into the mold, something always felt... off.

Ava never seemed to have that problem.

The thought of her made his stomach flutter. She was effortless. Always sure of herself. Always poised. Even the way she spoke carried an ease that Ethan envied. And it wasn't just confidence--there was something about the way she existed, completely in command of herself, her movements, her presence. He wished, in a way he couldn't fully articulate, that he could borrow some of that. Just for a little while.

A heavy knock on the door shook him from his thoughts. "Yo, Ethan, you in there?" Jayce's voice, low and casual, filtered through the wood. Before Ethan could answer, the door cracked open, and Jayce's broad frame filled the doorway.

Ethan straightened instinctively, suddenly hyper-aware of himself.

"Yeah."

"You good?" Jayce asked, stepping in just enough to lean against the frame. He was holding a protein shake in one hand, a casual afterthought to his usual routine.

"Yeah, just... thinking."

Jayce smirked. "You do that a lot."

Ethan let out a weak chuckle, unsure if it was meant as a joke or an observation. Jayce meant well, but everything about him--the way he stood, the way he spoke, the way he never seemed to second-guess himself--made Ethan feel like he was playing a different game with different rules.

"Hey, I'm gonna grab food in a bit. You wanna come with?" Jayce asked.

"Uh, no thanks. I'm good."

Jayce shrugged. "Ok, cool. See ya later, man."

Ethan listened as Jayce's footsteps receded down the hallway, and he let his body relax. He glanced at the mirror one last time, then shook his head and pushed himself up off the bed.

***

The apartment was quiet except for the soft hum of the overhead fan, circling lazily above Ethan, his slight frame draped across the couch. He caught his mind drifting again, and, as always, it sparked the same strange mix of shame and longing it always did, whenever his thoughts wandered to places they shouldn't.

Across the room, Ava was perched at her desk, illuminated by the glow of her laptop. Her posture was as perfect as ever, back straight, legs crossed, the kind of effortless grace that Ethan always felt like he was tripping over himself to emulate without even realizing it. She didn't look up, but Ethan could feel her attention on him. Whenever they were together he felt like she was analysing him and piecing together some secret audit in her mind.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. It had been nearly half an hour since Jayce had gone out and the apartment had fallen into silence.

"How long are you going to sit there, sulking?" Ava's voice cut through the quiet, abrupt but not unkind. It had that familiar edge that told him she wasn't really asking.

"I'm not sulking," Ethan replied quickly, his voice more defensive than he would have liked.

Ava turned her head, offering a cheeky smile. "Then what are you doing? Brooding? Stewing? Pouting?" She didn't ask questions idly--there was always a kind of careful attentiveness in the way she observed him as if she saw something he couldn't.

He didn't have a good answer, so he just looked away, slightly flushed.

Ava sighed, swerving in her seat and uncrossing her legs. She leaned forward slightly, resting her elbows on her thighs as she studied him intently causing Ethan to fidget under her gaze. He knew that look, that calculating expression that always made him feel like she was dissecting him, peeling away layer after layer until she found what she was looking for.

Ava pursed her lips, tilting her head to the side as she continued to scrutinize him.  

"Come with me" She said, in an enthusiastic, but deliberate tone. "I need your help with something."

Ethan did as he was told, got up from his seat and followed her as instructed, although he did try overtly throwing his arms up, to at least present the impression that he was reluctant about it. A victory of autonomy he told himself, however small.

***

As they entered her bedroom, a first for Ethan, in the month or so since they'd moved in, he was struck by how much it contrasted with his own. The size alone could be double, and everything was so immaculately organised. A collage of her with friends and family hung on the back wall in a symmetrical grid above her flawlessly made bed, to the right stood a full-length, decorative mirror and to the left, her built-in wardrobe, housing what was seemingly, an endless supply of clothes. The final thing that hit him, and what he envied the most, was the en-suite bathroom Ava had so enthusiastically sung about.

She had claimed the room within minutes of them all moving in at the start of the semester, and at the time Ethan didn't have the will to protest. Jayce, for his part, didn't seem to be bothered at all, he was rarely ever here, and besides, he didn't really care about much anyway.

Ava led him over to her vanity counter facing the foot of the bed and excitedly plopped herself down, gesturing for Ethan to do the same.  

"So, I need your opinion on something." She began immediately.

Ethan nodded, trying to ignore the flutter of nervousness in his chest her request had triggered. He didn't know why he was nervous, he was just... nervous.

"You're a guy, right?" Ava asked, with a sincerity that threw him off.

"Yeah?" He replied, unsure why she'd even asked.

"So you know what guys like, right?" She continued, her smirk growing wider.

Ethan felt his cheeks flush. He wasn't sure if he did fully know what guys liked, he was hardly the macho guy that the world seemed to expect him to be. "I guess..." He said, feeling increasingly uncomfortable about where this line of questioning was headed, and creeping thoughts of his masculine inadequacy began to rear up in his head.

Ava grinned, reaching for something on her desk. "Do you think this colour looks good on me?" She said, holding up a tube of lipstick obnoxiously close to Ethan's face, hawkishly scanning for his reaction. It was a bright red shade, almost garish, and the sight of it made his stomach tingle for reasons he couldn't explain.

Ava picked up on his discomfort and giggled. "You're adorable when you're nervous, Ethan." She said, a teasing lilt in her voice. "But seriously, what do you think?"

"I don't know..." Ethan said, in a pretty unconvincing attempt to appear nonchalant. "It's... nice I guess..."

"Mhmm..." Ava replied, clearly not sold on his answer. She slowly lowered the lipstick and placed it back on the vanity counter, all the while, keeping her gaze locked on Ethan. His eyes followed the lipstick, and Ava grinned.

She let her hand float casually over the assortment of colourful tubes on the counter for a few seconds as she continued to monitor his reaction. "Let's try this one!" She said, pushing a light pink tube to Ethan's face, still watching as his eyes followed it. "... Well?..." She pressed.

The tingling in Ethan's stomach grew. He was getting excited at the sight of lipstick, and he couldn't deny it. But why? What was happening? Did Ava know something he didn't? Was she doing this on purpose just to mess with him? His stomach twisted as he tried to suppress the rush of questions, but the heat in his face betrayed him.

"Y... Yeah... It's good." He choked out, as his mouth started to dry.

Ava nodded, seeming to consider his suggestion for a moment before smiling. "You have quite the eye for lipstick colours, Ethan. Know a lot about the subject do you?" She mocked, playfully. Delighting at the flustered figure in front of her.

Ethan shifted in his seat, feeling awkward and exposed "I'm just saying..." He mumbled, trying not to let his embarrassment show. "Um... so... what are you doing with all these?" He asked, in a feeble attempt to change the subject.

But Ava pressed on, glancing at him, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "What do you think? I'm gonna put them on... and you're gonna help me..."

Ethan felt his face getting hotter, it was a seemingly innocent suggestion, but there was nothing innocent about what Ava was doing, they both knew something more was being said here.

Ava let the words sit in the air, giving Ethan space to torture himself before she continued.  

"... you're gonna help me decide which shade looks best. There's this big party this weekend and I wanna test some styles, to see which one gets the best... reaction."

A choked, '... O... Ok" Was all Ethan could muster, a thousand questions racing around in his head.

Ava began carefully applying the lipstick, purposely making a performance out of it and taking her time to get it just right, all the while letting Ethan's eyes follow her hand left and right with each stroke.

Ethan felt a warm shiver creep up the back of his neck as the pressure in his chest grew. His eyes flickered between the lipstick and Ava, drawn to the way she moved so gracefully, the elegance of her delicate strokes, so purposeful and precise.

A part of him wanted to feel what she felt, to experience that same confidence, that same effortless... beauty. The thought made his stomach twist, and a gasp escaped his mouth.

Ava stayed silent, letting Ethan unfold himself in front of her. When she was done, she turned and gave an innocent, exaggerated pout. "So... what do you think?" She asked, batting her eyelashes in feigned naïveté.

"W... Wow..." Ethan breathed, "I mean... Yeah, it... it... looks good." He stammered, attempting to recover his cool. But inside he was flailing.

"Mhmm... that's what I thought..." Ava, mused, turning back to her makeup bag, a quiet satisfaction crossing her face.

She spent a few moments pretending to weigh up the different options in front of her on the counter, while Ethan sat, glassy-eyed in the corner of her vision.

"Ok... now you try this one..." She said, springing around and deliberately thrusting the dark red tube into his chest.

Ethan's whole body tensed up in panic and his mind reeled at the implication. Ava did nothing, she knew what his reaction would be, and she'd chosen her words precisely to trigger it.

After a few moments of letting Ethan sweat, she broke the tension. "Come on, help me put it on..." She said, presenting her lips to him with the same harmless expression she'd used before, and Ethan scolded himself for jumping to conclusions.

He took a deep breath and straightened himself, hoping it would steel his nerves. It didn't, but with Ava's waiting gaze centred on him, he took the tube from her calm, composed hand, with his own unsteady one and moved it to her lips.

"Ok Ethan, let's start slowly. Smooth, gentle strokes. You have to be delicate, careful... Just like a girl would..."

Her words sent a shockwave through his entire body. And the air audibly heaved from his lungs. Ava just chuckled to herself, bathing in the sweet torment of the scene.

She grabbed his hand gently and moved it for him.

"Smooth... gentle... strokes."

Ethan let Ava guide his hand, and with each passing stroke, the pink of her mouth turned darker and darker red. He couldn't help but notice the plump fullness of her lips glistening under the vanity lights and it sent heat surging up the back of his neck.

He tried his best to concentrate, and ignore the swirling mix of excitement and fear gripping his chest. Ava pulled her head away, leaving his hand hovering in the empty air as she stared straight into his eyes--letting herself be admired.

The moment lingered and Ethan barely noticed his own breathing, shallow and uneven, his body signalling the war inside him. Ava's eyes flicked downward, gasping with mock surprise.

"Ohh... That's your favorite, isn't it?" she teased, the smirk on her face slow and deliberate as she guided Ethan's attention to the growing bulge in his shorts.

Ethan looked down in horror, a flood of emotions swamping his head. "I... I'm sorry, I..." he clambered, eyes darting back up to meet Ava's. His body had betrayed him, laid bare something he was now reeling to understand.  He felt his whole body locked in place as his mind scrambled to catch up, the sound of his heartbeat pounding through his skull.

Ava stood up, moving deliberately into Ethan's personal space. Her tanned stomach dominated his view as she loomed over him, she remained just long enough for him to let the weight of her presence press down on him before she spoke.

"Look at me Ethan" she instructed in a light but firm tone while cupping his chin. He did as he was told, gulping as he tilted his head to face her.

"I find it adorable that some simple lipstick is enough to make you horny..."

Ethan lowered his head and his eyes fell to the floor, a jolt of shame rushing up his spine adding to the internal turmoil he was wrestling. But Ava squeezed his chin more firmly, tilting his head back up.  

"Look... at... me..." She repeated, emphasizing the words but maintaining her cool demeanour. "You like playing with my lipstick don't you?"

Ethan was helpless, too overwhelmed by the emotional riptide swirling in his head. But Ava knew she had to keep pushing.

"I know you do Ethan..." She poked. "... but I want you to admit it for me..."

Ethan felt weak in her hands. He squeezed his eyes shut as tightly as he could, but it didn't matter--she already knew the undeniable truth and so did he. Slowly, hesitantly, he nodded his head in silence.

"Good boy..." Ava, said, pulling his head into her.

Ethan sank into the warmth of her body, savouring a few weightless moments before she guided his gaze back up to hers.

"... Ethan, we're going to make a deal... Ok?"

Ethan's eyebrows furrowed, more curious than nervous. "What... what kind of deal?" he asked, his voice still slightly shaky.

"The kind of deal where you do something for me, and I do something for you," Ava said, letting her hands slide down to his shoulders.

Ethan was still confused and reeling, and didn't bother pushing back. "Ok... What do you want me to do?"

Ava squeezed his shoulder in excitement, her eyes lit up and her whole face beamed with joy. "You're going to wear some lipstick too!" She exclaimed.

"W... What?!, but... I..." Ethan visibly shuddered in his seat as he tried to protest, but Ava immediately sprung to her feet, startling Ethan before he could.

"I'm not finished Ethan, please don't interrupt me while I'm talking." Ava, stated cooly, her composure still unwavering. "I'm gonna paint those beautiful lips of yours, dark red, just like mine." She smiled. "You're going to wear some lipstick for me... And I, like I promised, will do something for you... now, nod your head, if we have a deal."

Ethan nodded, still vibrating from the soup of emotions stirring inside him.

"Good boy," Ava said, giddy with pride for them both. "Ok... let's get started. Open your mouth for me, nice and wide." 

Ethan opened his mouth as wide as he could and felt a shiver of anticipation run through him, as he watched her preparing the lipstick.

Ava barely managed to contain a laugh at how silly he looked with his mouth open so unnecessarily wide, but she couldn't stop herself from tormenting him.

She began applying the lipstick, slowly and methodically, taking her time with each stroke of deep red, letting Ethan absorb the process, and be absorbed by it, for as long as possible.

With each trace of her hands across his face, Ethan felt the pressure growing in his groin. He felt small under Ava, her fingers tilting his chin, holding him still as she marked him so effortlessly. The thick, slightly sticky wax on his lips was unlike anything he had ever experienced before, it was sensual and intimate in a way that made his cheeks burn.

Ava pulled back and crossed her arms.

"Mhm... that's better." She beamed, satisfied with her work.

"... Better?... Bu... Wha?"

"Yeah, come and see."

She grabbed Ethan's wrist and walked him over to the mirror. As he caught his reflection staring back at him, his eyes widened and the heat in his cheeks made them flush. The deep red lips were plump and full, the lipstick making them look even more inviting.

Ava stood behind him, fingers trailing along his shoulder, light but deliberate. She leaned in close enough that he could feel her breath against his ear. "You look beautiful Ethan." She whispered.

Ethan swallowed hard, his heart thundering in his chest as her words tickled the back of his ear. He didn't know how to respond--he couldn't believe how good he looked, or that it was even really him, he felt strangely... sexy.

Ava pushed her body into his, moving her hands down to his waist and gripping his hips, sending a shudder through his whole frame.  "I think you're ready for the next step,"

Ethan's fingers twitched at his sides. "Next step...?" he echoed breathlessly.

"Yes... We won't need these" Ava curled her fingers under the band of his shorts, pushing them down and letting them fall into a heap around his ankles. Ethan bristled as the air brushed against his skin, but Ava barely acknowledged it.

She just smiled as they both took in the view, but after a few moments of unbearable silence, Ethan couldn't handle it any longer and had to say something.

"Well...?" He asked, his voice trembling slightly.

Ava let out a small sigh, intentionally taking her time to let her eyes roam over Ethan's naked body once more before shrugging her shoulders.

"Hmmm..." she tapped her chin in fake contemplation. "It's... cute." Ethan blushed furiously as her words slapped him across the face. "I was expecting something... different. But you know, this actually suits you." She said, struggling to maintain her act.

Ethan felt like he could die. But his dick was throbbing. "What does that even mean?" He pleaded.

Ava knew she was torturing him, but couldn't help toying with him a little more. "I mean, you're such a shy boy, Ethan, so nervous and unsure of yourself. So, I guess it's not that surprising that you have a cock like... this."

Ethan's face burned even hotter, his entire body felt like it was on fire. He wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. Ava could see the anguish on his face and giggled to herself at how easily she'd been able to make him so flustered.

"Oh, Ethan... this suits you more than you know."

"W... What do you mean?" He asked, his voice trembling.

"Shhh" Ava purred, taking his hand and guiding it towards his cock before moving behind him again, gripping his hips harder than before and pushing her body against his ass.

She guided his hand with a slow, deliberate rhythm, her fingers clamped firmly around his. Ethan gasped, as the waves of pleasure bore through him, causing his whole body to shudder uncontrollably.

Ava quickened her rhythm, driving their hands faster and faster over his desperate, pulsing cock. Ethan could barely keep his legs from buckling, he felt his body writhing against Ava, pushing back into her warmth. Completely enthralled and utterly powerless as Ava drove harder, faster.

Another guttural moan escaped Ethan and filled the room, he was about to explode and they both knew it. Ethan closed his eyes tight under the growing pressure but Ava tightened her grip, pressing her lips close to his ear, her voice low and commanding. "Open your eyes, Ethan. I want you to see yourself as you cum for me..."

Ethan's whole body spasmed, and Ava tightened her hold, thrusting her hips into his ass. Cum burst from his cock, violently splashing against the mirror.

"That's it, Ethan... good boy... cum for me... let it all out." Ava purred.

His vision blurred for a moment, as blood filled his head, his reflection in the mirror barely registering through the haze of sensation. Ava continued driving their rhythm, pumping rope after rope from Ethan's dick, until he was spent.

Ethan's reflection shuddered one final time before its body sunk into Ava. Ethan just stared, captivated and confused. The lips still painted a deep red,  but smudged now, slightly ruined by the tension of the moment. The face's cheeks flushed, eyes wide and unfocused. The body glistened slightly from the layer of sweat that had started to emerge. The whole portrait pocked by the disparate streaks of his mess running down the mirror.  

Ethan's chest tightened, and he felt the familiar pang of shame rising through his core as the adrenaline subsided.  Ava saw him begin to spiral and let her hands trace lazy patterns along his sides, grounding him, and keeping him from floating away into the swirl of his thoughts. She rested her chin on his shoulder and pulled him into her.

"You did great, Ethan, and that was so hot to watch!" She said, her voice filled with genuine praise.

Ethan felt tears welling up in his eyes. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to feel, he was so overwhelmed with emotions.

"Thank you..." He whispered, his voice barely audible.