Becoming a Beta - The AlphaBeta Score Ch. 12

Summary of the previous chapters

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In this dystopian future, in 2320, the government has as strong control on most of our life aspects. One particular important detail is the alpha/beta score. At the age of 18 years old, the citizens had to take a test. The test gives you a score that determines your alpha score. This alpha/beta score determines how much of a virile or gentle male and female you were going to be. Once you received your score, you had to take hormone treatment to make it match your score.

The normal score for a male was between 40 and 80. People outside those values were outliers. The treatment for a low score would affect the pilosity, muscle mass, fat distribution, penis development and more. You received a score of 4. At school and with your friend, you lied to them, saying you had received a score of 50 to escape the humiliation of such a low score.

Such a low score was almost unheard of. The effects of the treatment that came with it were drastic. Your cock shrank from 6-inch to 4-inch. You had lost all of your manly body hair and your breasts were becoming tender and swollen. Even worse, your little cock was now more sensitive than ever. Because of this, you tried to cheat the system and only take half the medication your score mandated, but you got caught. For the next two months, you'll be forced to take double your normal prescription to compensate. Normally this would make you so sensitive, that you'd always be hard and cuming in your underwear. For that reason, your doctor installed a temporary apparatus, called the limp flower, in your little cock to keep it limp and easier to manage while on the double dosage.

*************************

The bell of your school rang, indicating the end of classes for today. As you waved your goodbyes to your class buddies, Derek caught up with you.

"Hey, what're you doing tonight?", he asked.

"Going to the gym."

"Again? And on a Friday night? Come on dude. You know, the chick of the gym you've been telling me about, you can introduce her to our group too. We won't eat her."

"I know, I know. It's just we've been so busy lately and all. I'll try to set something up for that soon," you answered.

"Why not tonight? We're drinking at my place later," he said, looking like he had you cornered.

"Maybe, who's gonna be there? I don't want to bring her to a sausage fest," you questioned him.

"Don't worry, a couples of the guys are bringing their girls and my sister will be there"

"Alright, I'll think about it."

"See you tonight then." Derek winked at you before getting away.

Later, at the gym. As you were running on the treadmill, your thoughts were drifting away. It had been a month since you were on the double dosage of the pills. On each step you took, you could feel your tits jiggle. Even at the gym, you had to resolve yourself to wear a tight undershirt to try to contain your growing breasts.

"Ah fuck", you lamented, grabbing your chest and stepping off the threamill. Once again, the rubbing of your undershirt had gotten the better of you. The dull pain forced you out of your exercise.

While you were trying to suppress the pain a cheery voice sounded not too far away.

"Hey Zack, how are you... Are you ok?" Heidi asked as she noticed your pained expression.

"I'm ok. It's just. You know... The rubbing," you answered, avoiding looking in her eyes.

"Shit Zack. We talked about this. I think you should at least give it a try" she said, tenderly petting your arm.

Frustration was growing within you. Despite all her kindness and good intentions, what she was proposing was out of question for you.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm a guy. I can't wear that.", you rebuffed her proposition.

Getting closer, she whispered to avoid embarrassing you: "Nobody would notice it. A little sports bra would avoid so much pain."

She had such a worried expression on her face.

The last few weeks had been interesting with Heidi, to say the least. Since your "movie night" with her, you had visited her apartment a couple of times and stayed the night at least once each weekend.

You had grown attached to her tender touch and gentle fondling of your soft body. You often yearned for the sweet taste of her inner thighs. You loved the way she made you feel when you were with her. And somehow she didn't seem to mind your impotence, caused by the apparatus installed by the doctor.

"I... I don't know. Anyway there was something else I wanted to talk to you about. What are you doing tonight?" you asked, diverging the subject.

"Tonight? Uhm... Nothing planned really. Just chilling at home, I guess." Heidi answered, tilting her head slightly.

"Well, Derek invited me to a party at his place tonight, starting around 9 pm. I was wondering... Would you want to come with me? I could pick you up with my car. It could be fun, and you could finally meet my friends." you proposed, a bit nervously.

You weren't sure how Heidi would react to being thrown into your usual social circle.

Heidi's eyes widened slightly, a surprised but also intrigued expression on her face. "A party? With your friends? Uhm... I don't know Zach. I don't want to intrude or anything." She hesitated, fiddling with the strap of her gym bag.

"Intrude? No way! They'd love to meet you! And it would be cool to have you there. Please? For me? I can pick you up around 8:45 pm" you pleaded, giving her your best puppy-dog eyes.

Heidi chuckled softly, her worried expression softening into a smile. "Alright, alright. You convinced me. But if it gets too awkward, we're leaving, okay?"

"Deal! It won't be awkward, I promise. They're all cool guys, and you're amazing, so what could go wrong? I'll pick you up later then?" you said, trying to sound confident, despite your own internal anxieties about bringing Heidi into your world.

"Okay then. See you later!" Heidi said with a bright smile.

Later that evening, you picked up Heidi with your car. As you drove to Derek's place with Heidi in the passenger seat, you couldn't help but feel a knot of nervousness in your stomach. What were your friends going to think of Heidi? What were they going to think of you with Heidi?

Derek opened the door, a wide grin spreading across his face when he saw you, which widened even more when he spotted Heidi behind you.

"Zach! You made it! And... Heidi, right? Dude, you weren't kidding, she is hot!" Derek exclaimed, his eyes fixed on Heidi, completely forgetting about you for a moment.

Heidi, who had changed into a cute casual dress for the occasion, blushed slightly at Derek's enthusiastic greeting but offered a shy smile. She looked really pretty; the dress accentuated her athletic figure, and she had put on just a touch of makeup, highlighting her blue eyes.

"Hey Derek, yeah, this is Heidi. Heidi, this is Derek, the party host," you said, stepping slightly in front of Heidi, feeling a strange mix of pride and protectiveness.

"Hey Heidi, welcome to the sausage fest, or... well, almost sausage fest tonight," Derek said, gesturing inside, "Come on in! Glad you could make it."

As you both entered, the apartment was already buzzing with music and chatter. Several of your usual group were there, along with a few girls you vaguely recognized as girlfriends or sisters of the guys. You spotted Mark lounging on the sofa, a beer in hand, and a smirk slowly spreading across his face as he took in Heidi and you.

You introduced Heidi to the rest of the group, your friends offering slightly less boisterous but still clearly impressed greetings. Heidi remained a bit quiet and close to your side, her shyness evident in this new social setting.

"So, Heidi, how do you know Zach?" Mark drawled, his eyes lingering on Heidi a little too long for your liking.

"We... uhm... We know each other from the gym," Heidi answered politely, but her voice was a bit soft.

"The gym, huh? Figures Zach would find a girl at the gym. Gotta get someone to spot him on the bench press these days, right?" Mark chuckled, directing the last part of his comment at you, a clear jab at your recent struggles in the gym.

A few of the guys snickered, and you felt your cheeks flush with a mix of anger and embarrassment. Before you could retort, however, Heidi stepped slightly forward, a playful glint in her eyes.

"Yeah, well, someone's gotta make sure he doesn't hurt himself lifting those massive weights," Heidi said, her tone light and teasing, but with a subtle undercurrent of protectiveness as she playfully bumped her shoulder against yours. "Besides," she continued, her voice just loud enough for everyone to hear, "I don't mind a guy who takes care of himself and... you know... has a softer side." She finished with a wink directly at you, a mischievous smile playing on her lips.

The table erupted in laughter, even Mark looking slightly taken aback by Heidi's unexpected and confident comeback. You, on the other hand, were completely flustered. Heidi's words, while playful and clearly meant to deflect the joke, resonated deeply with your internal conflict. "Softer side?" Was that how she really saw you? Did she... like your softer side? And did you even want her to?

Your mind was a whirlwind of confusion and a strange, unfamiliar warmth blooming in your chest. You glanced at Heidi, who was now chatting animatedly with Derek, seemingly unfazed by the slightly awkward moment she had just diffused. She looked radiant, confident, and... undeniably cute. And she was here, at this party, with you.

Internally, you were a mess of conflicting emotions.

Embarrassment at being the target of Mark's joke, a surge of protectiveness towards Heidi, confusion about her "softer side" comment, and a burgeoning, undeniable attraction to her confidence and playful acceptance. You took a long gulp of your beer, trying to process the chaotic mix of feelings swirling within you.

The rest of the party passed by in a bit of a blur. You tried to be present, chatting with Derek and the others, even managing a few more words with Mark without any further jabs. Heidi, however, remained the center of your attention, even when you weren't directly talking to her. You watched her interact with your friends, noticing how easily she laughed with Derek, how politely she listened to Mark's (slightly toned-down) teasing, and how genuinely interested she seemed in getting to know everyone. She was charming, undeniably so, and your friends were clearly won over.

Yet, despite the outwardly smooth interactions, you felt strangely distant throughout the evening. Heidi's comment about your "softer side" kept replaying in your head, a confusing mix of warmth and unease churning within you. You found yourself observing her, trying to decipher her gaze, her smiles, her intentions. Was she really attracted to you? Or was she just being nice? And if she was attracted... What exactly was she attracted to?

As the party started to wind down, you offered to drive Heidi back to her apartment. In the car, the silence felt different than before. It wasn't awkward, but it was... charged. You could feel Heidi's gaze on you occasionally, but you mostly kept your eyes on the road, your thoughts still swirling.

When you reached her building, you parked the car and turned to face her. "So... thanks for coming," you said, feeling a little awkward yourself now.

"Thanks for inviting me, Zach. It was actually really fun. Your friends are cool," Heidi said, her smile genuine and warm. "And you... you were a good party date," she added playfully, reaching out to gently squeeze your arm.

A warmth spread through you at her touch and her words. You leaned in slightly, and she met you halfway, her lips soft and welcoming against yours. The kiss was sweet, tender, and lingered for a moment before you both pulled back, a comfortable silence settling between you again.

"Good night, Zach," Heidi whispered, her blue eyes sparkling in the dim light of the car.

"Good night, Heidi," you replied, watching her get out of the car and walk towards her apartment building entrance.

As you drove back home, the city lights blurring past your window, your thoughts intensified. What did Heidi see in you? You glanced at yourself in the rearview mirror, catching your reflection in the dim light. Your face... it looked different lately. Softer. Rounder. More... feminine. The subtle changes from the hormones, changes you had been trying to ignore, suddenly seemed starkly obvious in the mirror's reflection.

Heidi had said "softer side"... Was that just a playful deflection of Mark's joke, or was it something more? Did she see you as... less of a man? More like... a girl? The thought sent a shiver of unease down your spine. Was that why she was attracted to you? Because you were becoming... like her?

The image of your face in the mirror, softer, almost... pretty, haunted you. The idea that Heidi might see you as something other than the masculine ideal you had always strived to be began to germinate in your mind, taking root and growing into a seed of worry.

You arrived home, the house quiet and dark. You went straight to your room, the unsettling thoughts still buzzing in your head. Without even changing, you fell onto your bed, exhaustion and confusion pulling you down into a restless sleep. And as darkness fully enveloped you, the seeds of worry began to sprout into the twisted branches of a nightmare...

"Where am I..." you asked, disorientated.

You were in a dim hospital room. You were in an hospital bed, wearing those white gown.

"Hello Mr Stanley." The blond doctor answered from the dark corner of the room. She was the one that had found you out when you had cheated the system to try to take less of the required drugs.

She was wearing a white lab coat, but with a revealing cleavage and some hot red heels. She slowly cat walked towards your hospital bed.

"How are you feeling, mister" she asked, bending down towards you, revealing even more of her luscious cleavage to you.

"I don't know, what am I doing here"

"Oh you don't remember, you tried to cheat the system... Again"

"No! I haven't" you revolted trying to stand up. But quickly your head spun and you settled back in your bed.

"Shh, calm down. You just underwent your procedure. You should take it easy now." She said with a smirk.

"What procedure?"

"Well, the permanent corrective procedure. The one you needed since you didn't want to take your pills."

Cold sweat formed on your forehead. What did she mean?

"I see you're confused, let me show you." She said pulling the bed sheets off you. She pulled your gown up over your stomach, revealing your little penis.

She ran her finger down from your tight waist toward your public area, making you shiver.

"You see, those pills we gave you mainly contained testosterone blocker and estrogen. Since you wouldn't take those prescription I came up with a plan! What part of your body produces that mean testosterone?"

"Where are you getting at?" you inquired nervously.

She pushed a button to get your hospital Bed moving towards a half sitting position.

Once the bed stopped moving, she continued: "Well now it is not a problem anymore." She giggled. She stroked your small dick. It got hard, something you'd hadn't felt in over two months, but looking at it it couldn't be more than 3 inch long and the foreskin stuck firmly to your glan.

But more worrying was her second hand was lower, her finger tracing your butthole, making you shudder and moan.

"Oh what a cute femboy. So fitting for someone like you" she said, tracing the finger that was a your butt hole towards your balls. But, it never contacted your balls, it directly want to the base of your tiny cock...

She lifted your cock, tigh against your stomach.

"See?" she asked, looking at the underside of your dicklet.

"No no no. What the fuck. Where are my... My fucking balls!!!" you yelled, looking at the blank space where your scrotum should have been.

The doctor laughed at your panicked state and jerked your small cock faster. You try to revolt but soon enough, your little cock spurted his seedless load over her latex covered fingers.

"Mmmhh!" you moaned, louder and louder, trapped in the horrifying pleasure of the nightmare... until you finally woke up with a gasp, your heart hammering against your ribs. You were in your bed, the familiar darkness of your room surrounding you. Disoriented, you looked around, trying to shake off the lingering terror of the dream.

Relief washed over you as you realized it was just a nightmare. But the lingering unease remained. You reached a hand down, checking your underwear. Damn it. It was wet. Again. The sticky, warm sensation of a wet dream confirmed the unwanted arousal from the nightmare. You were covered in your own cum, even after that horrifying vision of Dr. Samson and her... corrective procedure.

"Fuck..." you mumbled, the word heavy with disgust and self-loathing. Another wet dream. Even your nightmares were turning you into... this. You were pathetic.

You pushed yourself out of bed, the sticky discomfort clinging to you. You needed to shower, to wash away the remnants of the dream and the physical evidence of your body's betrayal. But the chilling image of Dr. Samson's smirk and the phantom sensation of her latex-covered fingers lingered in your mind, a fresh wave of anxiety washing over you as you headed to the bathroom.

You showered quickly, the hot water doing little to soothe the icy dread that had settled in your stomach.

You scrubbed your skin raw, trying to wash away the feeling of Dr. Samson's touch, the phantom sensation of her fingers, the shame of your body's unwanted response.

Back in your room, clean underwear and pajamas felt like a flimsy shield against the nightmare's lingering presence.

You climbed back into bed, but sleep remained elusive. The image of your reflection, softer, feminized, and Heidi's words, "softer side," echoed in your mind, fueling your anxiety. Exhaustion eventually pulled you under, but the sleep was restless, filled with fragmented images and unease.

Two weeks passed in a similar haze of conflicted emotions. You continued your routine, going to school, even managing a few gym sessions, though the chest rubbing discomfort was becoming increasingly hard to ignore.

You saw Lisa a couple of times, the encounters now tinged with a strange awkwardness, a sense of distance that had grown since your confession to your mother and your intimacy with Heidi. Heidi, however, became a more constant presence in your life.

You went running together a few times a week, and her gentle, accepting presence was a strange comfort amidst your internal turmoil.

One Tuesday evening, you texted Heidi:

Z: Hey H, wanna run tomorrow morning? My usual spot?

H: Hey Zach! Sounds good. Meet at my place? We can grab coffee after at that new place near my apartment?

Z: Sure, see you tomorrow around 7 am at your place then?

H: Perfect! Looking forward to it :)

The next morning, you arrived at Heidi's apartment building just before 7 am. You buzzed her apartment, and she quickly opened the door, already dressed in her running gear.

"Hey! Ready to sweat?" she greeted you with an energetic smile.

"Ready as I'll ever be," you replied, trying to match her enthusiasm, though a knot of anxiety tightened in your chest as you thought about the run and the inevitable chest discomfort.

"Great, let's go! Oh, you can change in the bathroom if you want, it's probably comfier than changing in the street," Heidi suggested, gesturing towards the bathroom door.

"Uh, yeah, thanks," you mumbled, taking your gym bag and heading into the small bathroom.

You quickly stripped off your jeans and t-shirt, pulling out your running shorts and undershirt. As you reached to pull off your undershirt, you hesitated. Your breasts, now undeniably a B-cup, were more prominent than ever. The tight undershirt was doing little to conceal them, and the rubbing was becoming unbearable even during normal activities, let alone running.

As you wrestled with your undershirt, Heidi called out from the living room, "Everything okay in there, Zach? You're awfully quiet."

"Yeah, yeah, just... uh... changing," you stammered, pulling the undershirt over your head. As you did, the bathroom door swung open, and Heidi walked in, probably intending to hurry you along.

She stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes widening slightly as she took in your bare chest. Your small breasts, clearly defined, were on full display in the bathroom mirror. A moment of silence hung in the air, thick with unspoken recognition.

Heidi recovered quickly, her expression softening with concern. "Zach... honey... I told you," she said gently, stepping closer and reaching out a hand towards your chest.

You flinched back instinctively, your cheeks burning with shame. "Don't... don't look," you mumbled, turning away from her gaze.

"Zach, it's okay," Heidi said softly, her hand hovering near your shoulder. "It's just... it's just your breasts. It's normal with the treatment, right? And... well... they're actually really... cute," she added, almost as an afterthought, her voice becoming a little breathy.

You squeezed your eyes shut, humiliation washing over you. "Cute? They're not supposed to be cute! I'm a guy!"

Heidi sighed, stepping closer again, her voice firm but gentle. "Zach, listen to me. There's an easy way to make this so much more comfortable for you, especially when you run. Just... just try a sports bra. Please? For your own sake? It will make a huge difference with the rubbing, I promise."

"No! I told you, I'm not wearing a bra! That's... that's for girls!" you protested, your voice rising in panic.

"Zach, please be reasonable," Heidi pleaded, her voice laced with concern and a hint of exasperation. "It's just fabric. It's for support. It's practical. Think of it like... like a compression shirt, but for your chest. Nobody will even see it under your shirt. And you'll feel so much better, I know it."

She rummaged in her gym bag and pulled out a small, black sports bra. She held it out to you, her blue eyes pleading. "Just... just try it. Please, Zach?"

You hesitated, your chest aching, both physically and emotionally. The rubbing pain was a constant, nagging discomfort. And Heidi... She was just trying to help. And... you had to admit, the idea of some relief was... tempting.

With a defeated sigh, you reached out and took the sports bra from her hand. The fabric was soft and stretchy. You looked at it for a moment, then back at Heidi, her eyes still filled with gentle encouragement.

"Fine," you mumbled, turning your back to her and pulling the sports bra over your head. It felt... strange. Snug and supportive, yes, but also... undeniably feminine. You adjusted it, tucking your nipples in, trying to minimize the... breast-like feeling.

You pulled your running shirt over the sports bra, and... Heidi was right. You couldn't really see it. It just looked like a slightly thicker undershirt. You took a deep breath, the fabric feeling... surprisingly comfortable against your aching chest.

"Better?" Heidi asked softly, stepping closer and gently touching your arm.

You shrugged, avoiding her gaze. "I... I guess. We'll see when I run."

You and Heidi started your run. And... Heidi had been right. The sports bra did make a difference. The constant rubbing was gone, replaced by a gentle, supportive pressure. You could still feel your breasts jiggling slightly, but it was no longer painful, just... a sensation. You found yourself running more freely, breathing easier, actually enjoying the exercise for the first time in weeks.

When you returned to Heidi's apartment, you felt... surprisingly good. The run had been less painful than usual, and the post-run endorphins were starting to kick in. You even felt a little... grateful to Heidi for pushing you to try the sports bra.

"See? I told you!" Heidi said triumphantly as you both entered her apartment, a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. "I knew it would help."

"Yeah, yeah, you were right," you admitted grudgingly, a small smile playing on your lips. "It's... better."

"Better is good!" Heidi laughed, clapping you on the shoulder. "Now, shower time? I'm starving, we can grab that coffee and a pastry after?"

"Sounds perfect," you agreed, heading towards the bathroom again, Heidi following close behind.

You started to undress, pulling off your running shirt, then hesitating as you reached for the hem of your shorts. Heidi was still in the bathroom, changing out of her own running clothes.

"You know," Heidi said casually, as she unzipped her jacket, "you look really... fucking sexy in that sports bra, Zach."

The words hit you like a physical blow. You froze, your hands still gripping the hem of your shorts. "Sexy?" Sexy in a bra?

A wave of nausea and dizziness washed over you. The compliment, meant to be playful, landed like a crushing weight of confirmation of your deepest fears. She did see you as... a girl. A sexy girl in a bra.

"No," you choked out, your voice barely a whisper. "No, Heidi, I'm not... I'm not a girl."

Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision. You ripped off the sports bra, the sudden lack of support feeling agonizingly wrong. You grabbed your clothes, your hands shaking uncontrollably.

"Zach? What's wrong? I... I didn't mean to..." Heidi started, her voice laced with confusion and concern.

But you didn't hear her. You couldn't hear her. All you could hear was the echo of her words, "fucking sexy in that sports bra," and the horrifying realization that maybe, just maybe, that's all she saw when she looked at you.

Without another word, you turned and fled from the bathroom, from the apartment, from Heidi, tears streaming down your face, a sob tearing from your throat. You ran blindly, desperate to escape the suffocating feeling of being seen as something you desperately didn't want to be. You just had to get away.

You stumbled out of Heidi's apartment building, blindly fumbling for your car keys. Once inside your car, the doors locked, you finally allowed the dam to break. Sobs wracked your body, tears streaming down your face, blurring the streetlights into hazy streaks of color. You buried your face in your hands, the steering wheel digging into your chest, but you barely registered the discomfort. All you could feel was the crushing weight of Heidi's words, "fucking sexy in that sports bra," echoing in your mind, confirming your worst fears, solidifying the terrifying image of yourself as... a girl.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, Heidi calling. You stared at the screen, her name flashing, but you couldn't bring yourself to answer. Not now. Maybe never. With trembling fingers, you silenced the call, shoving the phone back into your pocket, ignoring the insistent vibrations that followed.

You started the car, your hands shaking so badly you almost stalled. The drive home was a blur of tears and self-loathing. Each street you passed, each familiar landmark, seemed to mock you, reflecting back your distorted self-image.

The next few days dissolved into a murky haze of negative emotions. School became a torturous exercise in forced normalcy, your friends' greetings and jokes sounding distant and hollow. You avoided Derek, mumbled noncommittal responses to Lisa when she texted, and even your mother's gentle inquiries were met with curt replies and closed doors. You retreated into yourself, a fortress of self-hatred and despair.

Sleep offered no escape, only a recurring cycle of unwanted arousal and shame. Determined to regain some semblance of control over your body, you stubbornly refused to pleasure yourself, hoping to quell the unwanted sexual urges. But your body, fueled by the hormone treatment and your spiraling anxiety, seemed to rebel. Every morning, you woke up with the sticky, shameful evidence of another wet dream, a cruel reminder of your body's unwanted feminization.

Days blurred into nights, each one indistinguishable from the last, marked only by the relentless cycle of school, forced smiles, internal torment, and wet dreams. Finally, after almost a week of silence, Heidi texted again.

H: Zach, please talk to me. I'm so sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to. Are you okay? Can we talk?

You stared at the message for a long time, Heidi's name a painful reminder of your confusing desires and crushing insecurities. With a heavy heart, you finally typed out a reply, the words feeling inadequate and cold even to your own eyes.

Z: Hey Heidi. Thanks for checking in. I'm... not okay. I need some space. To figure things out. It's not you, it's me. I just... need to be alone for a while.

You sent the text, a hollow ache settling in your chest. You knew it was a cowardly, inadequate response, but you couldn't face her, couldn't explain the tangled mess of emotions that were consuming you. You just needed to retreat, to disappear into yourself, hoping that in the solitude, you could somehow piece together the shattered fragments of your identity and figure out... who you were now, and who you were supposed to be. But in the suffocating darkness of your self-imposed isolation, the answers remained stubbornly elusive.

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The bell rang, a jarring sound that signaled the end of your afternoon class, and the end of your self-imposed daily social interaction limit. It had been a couple of days that you didn't look at any messages on your phone, trying to close everything off. You gathered your books quickly, avoiding eye contact with anyone, and slipped out of the classroom, heading straight for the parking lot. Classes were the only times you forced yourself to leave the suffocating confines of your room these days. The rest of the time, you were a ghost in your own home, barely speaking to your mother, existing in a fog of self-loathing and isolation.

As you pushed open the heavy school doors and stepped outside, you were immediately met by a wall of rain. It was a downpour, the sky a heavy grey, the air thick with moisture. You hadn't even bothered to check the weather forecast; what did it matter anyway? You pulled your thin jacket tighter around you, but it was already damp, offering little protection.

You hurried across the parking lot, head down, trying to ignore the cold rain soaking through your clothes. Each step was a miserable reminder of your physical vulnerability, the way your body now reacted to the slightest chill, the way your chest felt heavy and... present, even under the jacket.

As you approached your car, a figure emerged from beside it, stepping out into the downpour. Heidi.

Your heart lurched. You hadn't expected to see her, not after your curt text, not after your self-imposed exile. She stood there, soaked to the bone, her hair plastered to her face, her clothes clinging to her athletic frame, but her blue eyes were fixed on you, unwavering and intense.

"Zach," she said, her voice barely audible above the drumming rain, but firm, resolute.

You stopped, hesitating, wanting to turn and run, to escape back into the relative safety of the school building, but her gaze held you captive.

"Heidi, what are you doing here? It's... it's pouring," you mumbled, gesturing helplessly at the rain, avoiding her eyes.

"I'm here to talk to you, Zach," she said, taking a step closer, the rain plastering your t-shirt to your chest, the damp fabric clinging to your growing breasts, making them even more visible, more... obvious. You cringed inwardly, pulling your jacket tighter, a futile gesture against the deluge.

"There's nothing to talk about," you said, your voice flat, devoid of emotion. You fumbled with your car keys, desperate to unlock the door and escape into the dry interior.

Heidi closed the distance between you, her voice rising slightly above the rain, her words sharp with urgency and a hint of pain. "Don't you dare shut me out, Zach! Don't you dare run away from this!"

You finally met her gaze, her blue eyes filled with a mixture of hurt, frustration, and something else... something that looked like... concern? Care?

"Run away from what, Heidi? From... this?" you gestured down at your rain-soaked chest, the outline of your breasts clearly visible through the wet t-shirt, shame burning in your cheeks. "From being... this? This... freak?"

"Don't you ever call yourself that," Heidi said fiercely, stepping even closer, her voice trembling with emotion. "Don't you ever call yourself a freak, Zach! Because you're not! You're... you're Zach! The kindest, funniest, most... infuriatingly stubborn guy I know!"

"Kind? Funny? Infuriating?" you scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. "Yeah, real hilarious, a guy with tits and no balls. Some kind of man, huh?"

"Stop it, Zach! Just stop it!" Heidi's voice cracked, tears mingling with the rain on her face. "Is that all you think I see? Is that all you think you are? Just... just a body? A score? Is that what you think I care about?"

"Then what do you care about, Heidi?" you asked, your voice raw, desperate for an answer, for some kind of understanding. "Why are you even here? Why are you still... still trying with me? Don't you see? I'm... I'm not what you think I am. I'm not... normal. I'm not even really a guy anymore!"

Heidi reached out, her hands cupping your face, her touch surprisingly warm against your cold, rain-soaked skin. Her thumbs gently wiped away the tears that had started to fall from your eyes, mingling with the raindrops.

"Zachary Stanley," she said, her voice soft but intensely earnest, her blue eyes searching yours. "Listen to me. I see you. I see Zach. The Zach who's smart and funny and makes me laugh. The Zach who's kind and thoughtful and actually listens when I talk. The Zach who was brave enough to talk to me at the gym, even when he was clearly nervous. The Zach who... who I kissed that night, and who kissed me back... and who felt... amazing," her voice dropped to a whisper on the last word, her cheeks flushing slightly despite the rain.

"And yeah," she continued, her gaze unwavering, "I said you looked sexy in that sports bra. And you did. But it wasn't about the bra, Zach. It was about you. It was about seeing you... vulnerable, and real, and... beautiful, just as you are."

"Beautiful?" you choked out, the word sounding foreign and absurd when applied to yourself.

"Yes, beautiful, Zach," Heidi insisted, her grip on your face firm but gentle. "Inside and out. And yes," she added, her voice softening even further, "maybe I don't... maybe I don't exactly go for the super macho, alpha-male type, okay? Maybe... maybe I like guys who are a little... softer. A little more... you."

Her words, raw and honest, hung in the rain-soaked air between you. Something in her voice, in her unwavering gaze, in the genuine emotion etched on her face, started to chip away at the wall of self-hatred you had built around yourself.

Tears streamed down your face now, hot tears mixing with the cold rain. You felt a sob building in your chest, a release of weeks of pent-up emotion. You leaned into Heidi's touch, her hands a lifeline in the storm of your despair.

"Heidi..." you whispered, your voice thick with emotion, "I... I'm so messed up. I'm such a... a coward. I ran away. I hurt you."

Heidi pulled you closer, wrapping her arms around you, pulling you into a tight, soaking embrace. The rain plastered your bodies together, cold and wet, but her hug was fiercely warm and solid.

"Shhh, Zach, it's okay," she murmured into your wet hair, her voice soothing and comforting. "You're not a coward. You're just... hurting. And scared. And it's okay to be scared, Zach. It's okay to be vulnerable."

You clung to her, burying your face in her shoulder, finally letting go of the weeks of bottled-up emotion. You sobbed, great, heaving sobs that shook your entire body, the rain washing away your tears, or maybe just hiding them. Heidi held you tight, her hand stroking your hair, her presence a solid anchor in the storm.

After a long moment, as the intensity of your sobs began to subside, you pulled back slightly, still held loosely in her embrace. You looked up at her, your face wet with rain and tears, your eyes red and swollen.

"Why?" you whispered, your voice still shaky. "Why are you still here? Why are you still... doing this? After everything? After... that?" you gestured vaguely at yourself, at the rain-soaked mess you felt you were.

Heidi smiled gently, her eyes still filled with warmth and understanding. "Because, Zach," she said softly, her voice barely a whisper, "because I like you. Just... you."

The rain continued to fall, washing over you both, but somehow, in Heidi's embrace, in her words, the storm inside you began, just barely, to quiet. A fragile seed of hope, amidst the wreckage of your self-hatred, began to sprout.

Something shifted within you in that moment, a subtle cracking in the rigid shell of self-loathing you had built around yourself. Heidi's words, her touch, her unwavering gaze -- they were like a warm light piercing through the darkness. For the first time in weeks, you felt a flicker of something other than despair, a fragile spark of... hope? Or maybe just... relief.

The rain was still pouring down, soaking you both, but the cold seemed less biting now, replaced by a nascent warmth spreading from Heidi's embrace. You pulled back slightly, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand, feeling a shaky breath escape your lips.

"Heidi," you said, your voice still hoarse but steadier now, "I... I'm sorry. So sorry. I've been... I've been a complete asshole. To you. To everyone."

Heidi smiled gently, her fingers still lightly tracing the line of your jaw. "Hey," she murmured, "it's okay. I get it. You were hurting. You were scared."

"But I hurt you," you insisted, guilt twisting in your gut. "I ran away. I ignored you. I said... awful things, in my head, about myself, about... everything."

"You were going through a lot, Zach," Heidi said softly, her thumb gently brushing away a stray tear that escaped your eye. "And yeah, it hurt when you shut me out. But... I'm here now. And you're here. And that's what matters."

You looked at her, really looked at her, seeing the genuine warmth and forgiveness in her eyes. A fresh wave of emotion washed over you, but this time it wasn't despair. It was... gratitude. And something else, something softer, warmer, that felt a little like... hope.

"What can I do?" you asked, the question tumbling out before you could fully process it. "To make it up to you? For being such an idiot?"

Heidi's smile widened, a playful glint returning to her blue eyes. She leaned in closer, her lips brushing against yours in a soft, lingering kiss, the rain plastering your faces together.

"Hmm," she murmured against your lips when she pulled back slightly, her breath warm on your skin. "Well, you could start by... coming back to my place. Get out of this rain, get dry, maybe... watch a movie? You still owe me a movie night, remember?"

A genuine smile finally broke through your own tear-streaked face. A movie night. It sounded... normal. Comforting. Safe. And with Heidi... it sounded... good. Really good.

"A movie night?" you repeated, a faint smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

"Yeah," Heidi said, her eyes sparkling. "Pizza, maybe? Your choice of movie this time. And... maybe we can just... you know... be together. Just... Zach and Heidi. No scores, no hormones, no... sports bras," she added with a playful wink, making you chuckle, a real, genuine chuckle, for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Yeah," you said, nodding, a sense of lightness starting to lift the crushing weight from your chest. "Yeah, a movie night sounds... perfect."

Heidi took your hand, her fingers intertwining with yours, her touch sending a comforting warmth through your rain-chilled body.

You drove to her apartment building. Heidi, kept doing a bit of small talk in the car to keep your morale up. She told you some little jokes to lighten the mood. Once at the apartment, She dragged you up to the elevator up to her apartment floor.

Once inside the apartment, you look out the big window of the main room. The weather was still grim. The black clouds moved fast in the sky and the rain fell with force on the window with each gust of wind. The old port was not visible through the heavy rain.

"The weather's so bad... It's perfect for a movie night!" Heidi cheered, hugging you. "Oh.. but we're still wet. How about we take a shower... Together?" Heidi asked hesitantly.

Again you felt hesitant to show your body. Your feelings were still mixed about it. But the worried looked Heidi was giving you pushed you towards your decision.

"Yeah.. I'm cold. I'd like that" you finally said. She quickly smiled at your answer, like the puppy she was. She closed the door behind you and started to get things ready for the shower. she discarded her clothes unceremoniously. Again, the picture of this athletic girl shined in your eyes. Her perfect ass, strong legs and tight body made you feel a tingle in your limp dick. You nipples already erected by the wet cold clothes that enveloped you became even more sensitive...

"What are you waiting for," Heidi said, "Get undressed and come on in. Hot water's expensive you know, dummy" she giggled, as the water of the shower was running. Her inviting tone dragged you into her small bathroom. You dropped your wet jeans and removed your wet shirt. Heidi eyes were fixed on you once you popped your head out of your discarded shirt.

She stepped in the shower, the warm water making her body glistened and become more sexy. You joined her under the rain shower head. Both of your bodies where so close together, her perky nipple slipped on your chest. She stared depp in your eyes, her hands slipping on your sides. Again, you were wet, underwater with her, but this time it was warm and comforting. You reached too, feeling her tight body that had some softness in just the right spot. Your hand rested on her back. She leaned over, closing her eyes and puckering her lips. You did the same. Your lips found each other. A sweet tender kiss, your hand tighening their grips on her.

"I really like you... Heidi," the word escaped your mouth. This took her by surprised. She hugged me tighter. a sincere smile in her face.

"I do too. All of you," she said, getting on her knees in the shower.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Just showing my man how much I appreciate him," she said, before starting to play with your limp little cock.

"I do appreciate it, but you know it won't get hard?" I said, a hint of nervousness in your voice.

"I don't care, I just want to make you feel good." she whispered before taking your little soft dick in her mouth.

She place one hand at the bottom of your toned stomach and another one circle the base of your penis and balls. Her mouth sucked hard on your dick. It felt surprisingly good, despite your lack of erection. You place one hand on the back of her head, guiding her movement. Her sucking streched your little dick, wringing out a moan out of your lips.

She looked on at you upon hearing your sweet meowing. Her big blue eyes filled with joy. Her passion doubled and movement accelerated. You could feel it in your whole body. Your back arched, toes curled nipples harden and ball tingled.

"I'm gonna cum... I'm gonna cum Heidi!" you pleaded.

She sucked you penis out of her mouth with a pop. and jerked it enthusiastically. Your hips buckled as your little limp dick pumped strings of cum on her beautiful small tits. Your white slimy cum, rested on her wet skin. The warm water of the shower slowly washed away the residue of your pleasure.

"That was.." you panted. "That was good. I owe you one," you said, breathing heavily.

She got up and planted a small kiss on your lips, "oh don't worry, I'm sure you will have an opportunity soon enough."

You mutually washed each other, taking the occasion to but her butt and breasts very well cleaned. You also helped her wash her long curly blondy hair. She emitted small satisfied sound when your finger gently pulled on her hair to wash the shampoo out of it.

After the shower, Heidi gave you a loose t-shirt and joggings to have something dry to wear. You texted your mom, warning her you'd be out tonight while Heidi got a frozen pizza in the mini-oven.

You watched a horror movie with her, it matched the exterior weather, as rain continued to beat on the building and the thunder roared far away. after we ate, we got cozy under a blanket. She snuggled on me, her head resting on my chest. the movie soon became background noise, Heidi heavy breathing akin to a silent snored told she had found the sweet embrace of sleep. I tried to appreciate this peaceful moment, the quiet rumble of rain only made me more tired. MY heavy eyes tried to resist, but they finally lost the battle, resting close.

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*Author's note: Hi all. Hope you had fun reading this. I know it's been a long time since the last chapter. I've just been quite busy. Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Personally, I really appreciated writing, but I'm a softy.