Phantom Ch. 04

Chapter 4: The Isle of Man

There are a number of different kinds of kalaks... are you listening, Doctor?

"I'm trying hard not to," said the Doctor grumpily.

They were on the last leg of their journey, having taken a stratoliner from Tel Aviv to London, and now a smaller plane from London to the Isle of Man. The Doctor was trying to hide his increasing concern for Sophie. Did she get away safely? Did the kalaks really let her go? The Doctor still wasn't sure how much he trusted the kalaks in general or Alanna in particular. It was clear they wanted him to eliminate this Penguin, so it was unlikely they had harmed Sophie, but the Doctor wouldn't be satisfied, not until he saw her in person.

She will be fine.

Are you reading my mind?

It's kind of hard not to!

So... I have absolutely no privacy, then?

Well... I won't actively probe your mind. I'm only aware of what you're thinking at the moment.

This is the most extreme kind of violation I could ever imagine.

Alyssa never minded....

Your pet ghoul slave.

Alyssa is not a slave! Perhaps that's where we should start your education, Doctor, with Samaritans.

Samaritans?

Those trusted few who agree to carry our form.

And why would anyone in their right mind ever agree to do that? No, don't tell me, I think I can guess.

The Doctor turned to Alyssa Kleinberg, who was sitting in the seat next to him. Alyssa, a short, dark, curly haired woman in her late 20's with a round face and nose almost as prominent as the Doctor's, looked vaguely uncomfortable. She missed having Alanna inside of her, and was worried about her now that she was inside the Doctor. Several times she had asked the Doctor to speak to Alanna, but the Doctor had ignored her and Alanna felt that speaking through the Doctor would only exacerbate tensions.

"You," said the Doctor, turning to her. "Let me guess. You're Jewish."

"Jewish," Alyssa confirmed. "Jewish like you."

"Not like me," said the Doctor sharply.

"But I read your bio. You were born in Israel, and so was I, before my family moved to Westport, Connecticut-"

"Not like me," the Doctor repeated, studying her as he would a bug. "You're a follower of Aura, aren't you?"

Alyssa looked startled. "How did you know that?"

"Because the pattern fits," said the Doctor. "Jews who forsake their religion to follow the She-Goddess Aura. Just like supposedly devout Christians who abandon their own religion to become Equalitarians. "

Alyssa frowned. "I didn't abandon or forsake my Judaism. I just supplemented it."

"Supplemented. Such a fine word," said the Doctor. "It sounds just like taking an extra vitamin in the morning. You didn't abandon your religion, you just added onto it, like building another floor onto your house."

"Are you such a devout follower, Doctor?" Alyssa asked.

"Me?" said the Doctor. "I'm an orthodox skeptical believer." He turned towards her. "But you, you have abandoned your religion for the siren call of social justice. Am I right? Equalitarians call it 'preparing for the Equalpocalypse', the day when everyone will be made totally, absolutely equal in material wealth and abilities. And what do the Aureans call it? Wait, don't tell me... Nurda Gababba."

"Yes, Doctor, Nurda Gababba," said Alyssa, her eye shining brightly. "That means-"

"I know what that means," the Doctor snapped. "To heal the world. You think God has put you personally in charge of healing the world, don't you? And, not only that, but you know the best way to do it, don't you? Empty the prisons. Import millions of culturally incompatible Laquintans into western society. Double taxes. Triple spending. Give the World Government even more control over us, and limit our freedoms in the pursuit of the greater good."

"You make it sound so sinister," said Alyssa.

"Did I? A slip of the tongue, I assure you," said the Doctor.

"You're right, Doctor. The principles of Nurda Gababba require us to help the poor, the downtrodden, the disadvantaged-"

"One disadvantage being not having a body, I suppose," said the Doctor.

"Yes, Doctor," said Alyssa. "The kalaks are fragile souls. Without us, they have no physical form. We were made to help them-"

"Said the spider to the fly," said the Doctor. "But don't you see, by helping them you are hurting others. When you let one of those things ride inside of you, you let it use you to hurt and maim and kill other people."

"Never!" Alyssa said sharply. "Alanna would never do such a thing. She is the gentlest kalak I have ever met! Alanna, are you all right in there?" She looked anxiously at the Doctor.

May I speak through you?

No.

"Alanna told me to tell you that she's fine," said the Doctor.

"Really?" Alyssa asked, and the Doctor simply hated her eager puppy dog look.

"Yes," said the Doctor. "But she wants you to stop pestering me and leave me alone for a while so I can take a nap." And he turned away from her, even as Alyssa's face was filled with shock and dismay.

You were very rude to Alyssa.

Sorry. I'm always a little on edge when I have a ghoul inside my head.

We find the term ghoul to be very offensive.

And I find having you in my head to be very offensive. What do you say we make a deal--you get out of my head, and I will only refer to you as wonderful psychic friends?

Alanna didn't respond for a long moment. The Doctor's eyes flickered out the window. The Isle of Man loomed large.

We're landing.

It beats crashing.

You grew up in Israel, Doctor. Why did you leave?

Unpleasant memories.

I'm sorry for what happened to you. I know you had a bad experience with a kalak-

A bad experience? Is that what you call it? A ghoul forced me to kill my wife and all my friends. Is that what you call a bad experience?

My apologies. I call that horrifying.

Horrifying doesn't begin to cover it.

They rode in silence for a long moment.

So tell me, why did you move to the Isle of Man?

It's one of the few places in the world that doesn't have an income tax.

Really?

Really. I wanted to live in a place where I wouldn't have a parasite living off of me. And then I met you.

Doctor Ren, I know this is a very uncomfortable situation for you, but I hope we can at least have a working relationship.

A relationship... with a voice inside my head which can control my body. I'll have to think about that one.

********

They took a hired grav car to the Doctor's home. Or at least, not far from it. They got out at a busy intersection.

Doctor, why are we stopping here?

"Because I don't want you to know where I live," said the Doctor. Alyssa, who could only hear half the conversation, hung onto every word. "You and your media consultant can wait here, while I go home and check on Sophie. If she's all right, I'll come back and get you."

Oh no, Doctor, it doesn't work that way. I'm not leaving your body until the Penguin is dead.

"Do you really expect me to lead you to my home? That will make me incredibly vulnerable!"

More vulnerable than we are to you? You know of our home base under the Mount of Olives now.

The Doctor paused, then sighed. He hung his head in defeat. "Get in," he told Alyssa, as he got back into the hired car.

They drove for another twenty minutes until they were in the countryside. Then they went on a private dirt road which had a series of signs.

"Private Property, No Trespassing," said the first.

And then, a hundred feet down the road, a second sign.

"Warning: Live Fire Android Shooting Range ahead."

And then, a hundred feet beyond that,

"Warning: Entering Nuclear Land Mine Zone."

You're not very welcoming to visitors, Doctor.

And how many tourists do you show around the catacombs under the Mount of Olives?

The cemetery is very old, the catacombs even older. They suit our purposes.

And so do these signs.

And then suddenly, they pulled up in front of a giant Dome. Alyssa looked startled and the Doctor smiled.

*********

"Doctor!"

Sophie gave the Doctor a hug so tight that it practically knocked the wind out of him. She pressed against him for a long moment and made a squealing "ooooooow" sound that made him smile as he felt her firm Dutch breasts pressed against him. Then she pulled back, her hands on his cheeks. "I was so worried!" she exclaimed. "I thought-" her voice broke off as she noticed Alyssa.

"It's all right, Sophie," said the Doctor.

"You!" said Sophie accusingly. "You were the one who kidnapped the Doctor."

Sophie, understandably, thought that Alanna was still inside of Alyssa. The Doctor gave Alyssa a warning look. "It's all right, Sophie. She's come along to help us with a little job."

"What kind of job?" Sophie asked, her ass cheeks flexing in her tight jogging shorts as she walked with the Doctor further into the Dome.

"My favorite kind," said the Doctor. "Killing ghouls."

*********

The Doctor was giving Alanna and Alyssa a tour of the Dome while Sophie prepared dinner.

When are you going to tell her?

"When the time is right," said the Doctor.

"When the time is right for what?" said Alyssa.

She has a right to know.

She's been through a lot. I don't want to add to her stress.

Doctor-

"Do you want a tour of my home, or not?" the Doctor asked.

"Yes," said Alyssa.

They started back at the front door. The Doctor pointed to the giant tongue sticking out of the wall at floor level.

"What's that for?" Alyssa asked.

"We should have used it the moment we stepped through the door, if I hadn't been... distracted...." The Doctor stuck his foot out. The moment his tall black boot came into contact with the giant tongue, it came alive, and started to lick his boots, making strong sucking sounds.

"Disgusting," said Alyssa, making a face.

"That's what you do for the ghouls, isn't it?" said the Doctor.

"You are so unprogressive."

"Thank you," said the Doctor, flashing a grin. The next stop was a walk in coat closet near the front door. It was a closet that one could walk in... and walk, and walk, and walk. The room was easily 250 square feet in size. And it was filled with dozens of coats. All black coats, just like the one the Doctor wore.

Doctor, why are all the coats the same?

"Why are all the coats the same?" Alyssa asked, running her hands along one of them.

"Oddly enough, you're not the first person to ask that question," said the Doctor. "The answer, of course, is that the coats are nothing alike."

"Nothing alike?" said Alyssa, making a face. "They are all alike?"

The Doctor smiled, and began pointing at them. "This one is lead lined. That one has a personal force shield built into it. The one behind it has built in oxygen support-"

"Why would you need a coat with oxygen?" Alyssa asked.

"You never know," said the Doctor. "The one behind it has a portable power pack, the one behind that has an air filtration system built into it...."

"And this one?" Alyssa asked, touching black coat with a frilly border along the lapel.

"And that one has a frilly border along the lapel," said the Doctor.

Alyssa looked at him and said, "Alanna, this man is odd."

I quite agree.

"Alanna says you're not being open minded," said the Doctor sternly.

********

The next stop was a study with furniture on the floor, the walls, and the ceiling. There was a couch on the floor, padded chairs on the walls, and reclining chairs on the ceiling.

"Should I ask why?" Alyssa asked.

The Doctor gave her a look and walked up to one of the walls. Then he actually started walking on the wall, and sat down in an elegant chair. He stared at her for a moment, then got up and walked to the ceiling, where he relaxed in a reclining chair.

"You're upside down," said Alyssa.

"I was about to say the same thing to you," said the Doctor.

"Why, Doctor?" she asked.

The Doctor shrugged. "This is my thinking room. Sometimes it helps to view things from a different perspective." He got up, abruptly did a back flip, and landed on his feet on the ground. He smiled at Alyssa, but frowned when she looked unimpressed.

Don't mind Alyssa, Doctor. I find all of this fascinating.

"I'm glad you're pleased," said the Doctor dryly.

********

"And this is the Music Room," said the Doctor, gesturing to a completely empty room.

"How do you turn on the music?" Alyssa asked.

The Doctor gave her a look, and then raised his hands as if he were holding a trombone. He blew with his lips tightly puckered, and trombone started to play as the Doctor moved his hands forward and backwards.

Alyssa's eyebrows went up and the Doctor smiled. Then the Doctor shifted his arms downwards and blew again, this time rapidly moving his fingers. Fluent clarinet music started to play.

"Incredible," said Alyssa.

Did you design this yourself, Doctor?

"Yes. It's one of my minor hobbies," said the Doctor.

You are a very multifaceted man.

The Doctor nodded. Alanna could sense the pleasure bubbling up within him.

The tour continued.

The next room was a big sectioned off area of the Dome which contained an eighteen hole nuclear miniature golf course.

Another form of relaxation, Doctor?

"I find manipulating physical objects helps my mind relax," said the Doctor.

Alyssa, looking at the miniature golf course, frowned. "There's something missing, Doctor. Where are the holes?"

"They are cloaked," said the Doctor.

"Cloaked holes?" said Alyssa.

"Openly viewable would be too easy," said the Doctor. "In this game, you have to find them."

You're a very unusual man, Doctor.

Again Alanna felt a wave of pleasure, which the Doctor worked to suppress.

********

They passed by what looked like a science lab, with all sorts of scientific equipment in it.. "What's this?" Alyssa asked, as they walked by.

"Sophie's bedroom," said the Doctor.

"Her bedroom?" Alyssa looked around and saw a small bed in the corner of the room, and an equally small closet behind it. "Why do you make the girl live in such squalor?"

"Do you have any children, Miss Kleinerschnitzel?" the Doctor asked.

"No, and the name is Kleinberg," said Alyssa.

"My apologies," said the Doctor dryly. "No, of course you have no children, because followers of Aura believe that human beings are natural born polluters and children are an affront to Mother Nature. You think humanity is a stain on the planet, don't you?"

Alyssa shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another. "Well... kind of."

"So forgive me if I don't take any parenting tips from a misanthrope," said the Doctor.

"Misanthrope!" Alyssa cried. But the Doctor was moving onwards.

********

The Doctor led Alyssa into a greenhouse filled with long tables. Empty long tables. "Do you like the plants?"

"I don't see any plants," said Alyssa. And yet, when she sniffed the air, she smelled greenery. She gave the Doctor a confused look.

"Well of course you don't see them. This is an invisible arboretum," said the Doctor.

Is that really true, Doctor?

"There's no such things as invisible plants!" said Alyssa. But she looked unsure of herself as she tentatively stretched out with a hand.

"Well, go on, touch it," said the Doctor.

Alyssa's hand reached out and suddenly her eyebrows shot up as she felt a fern in her hands. "There is something here." She reached out more widely. "I feel a plant! Why would you grow invisible plants?"

"Why not?" said the Doctor, giving a grin. He watched as Alyssa gradually walked by one of the tables, reaching out to touch leaves with her outstretched hands. "I would be careful about that," he said.

"Careful of what?" said Alyssa. "Ow!" she said, pulling her hand back suddenly. There were several pinprint marks on her fingers.

"Careful of the invisible cactuses," said the Doctor, letting his grin go wide.

Doctor, you are a very odd man.

"Why thank you," said the Doctor.

"What did Alanna say?"

"Only that she derives pleasure from your pain," said the Doctor.

"She did not say that!" Alyssa looked indignant.

Doctor, when will you stop baiting Alyssa?

"When you get out of my head," said the Doctor.

They passed by the massage room, where they saw a pair of couches.

Who massages you, Doctor, Sophie?

"You have a dirty mind," said the Doctor darkly.

"No I don't!" said Alyssa.

The Doctor lay face down on one of the couches. Suddenly, holographic hands appeared and started to rub his back. Even though they were holographic, Alanna could feel them actually rubbing his body.

That feels... good.

"I'm glad you like it. Bodysnatcher," said the Doctor, getting up abruptly.

I'd like us to be friends, Doctor.

"Yes, I'm sure you would."

**********

They heard the sounds of weapons fire as they entered a darkened part of the Dome. Sophie was there, firing a pistol into the air.

"There you are," she said. "Dinner is ready. I was just about to go looking for you." She fired again, sending a ray of light into the air.

"What is this place?" Alyssa asked.

"Welcome... to the practice range," said the Doctor. As they entered the room, Alyssa could see clearly what Sophie was shooting at.

It was kalaks. Images of kalaks suddenly appeared out of nowhere and Sophie blasted them with her weapon.

You let a young girl play with guns? Alanna tried to hide her feeling of horror as an image of a kalak was vaporized.

"That's the only way I know to let young girls grow up into old ones," said the Doctor.

"The only way what?" said Sophie, pausing for a moment. A trickle of sweat went down her nose. Her breasts stuck out of her tight pink shirt, and her ass cheeks looked remarkably firm inside her tight jogging shorts.

"Nothing. Let's have dinner," said the Doctor.

*********

Sophie was unusually talkative to Alyssa Kleinberg, much to the Doctor's annoyance.

"The Doctor adopted me when I was ten," said Sophie, glancing to the Doctor briefly as she ate salad. "Ghouls killed my parents, because they were researching psychic energy."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," said Alyssa.

"The Doctor saved my life and... he took me in," said Sophie, again glancing at the Doctor with dark eyes.

"Do you go to school here?"

Sophie shook her head. "The Doctor teaches me everything I need to know."

"Does he?" said Alyssa, chewing her own salad. Naturally, she was a vegetarian. The Doctor, of course, was eating a juicy T-Bone steak, and enjoying it with relish. "Don't you have contact with other people?"

"Other people?"

"Kids your age," said Alyssa.

"Kids?" Sophie made a face. "How old do you think I am?" Without waiting for an answer, she said, "I'm 18, and fully emancipated, for your information."

"That's wonderful," said Alyssa, watching the Doctor watch this exchange without saying a word. "But what about contact with boys your age?"

"Boys," said Sophie. "What use could I possibly have for them? Oh, the Doctor insisted I make an effort."

"Did he?" said Alyssa.

"Yes, he has a dating quota he makes me fulfill. But I don't like it," Sophie declared, as she picked at her salad. "It interferes with the work."

"The work?"

"Scientific research. Locating and eliminating...." Sophie bit her lip. "Eliminating adversaries."

Doctor, you taught this young girl to kill kalaks?

You bet.

"But what about dating?" Alyssa asked.

"What about it?" said Sophie. "To be honest, after living with the Doctor for a few years, men come across as boring. Two dimensional. What could any man possibly say to me which could be as interesting as the Doctor?"

The Doctor gave an embarrassed smile. "You flatter me, Sophie. You can't expect to find sophisticated men here on the Isle of Man. One of these days we'll go to London, or Amsterdam, and find you a proper gentleman."

Sophie gave him a pointed stare. "Where you'll sell me, like a horse, to the highest bidder. No thanks, Doctor." she said. She chewed a bit more, and turned her attention back to Alyssa. "So you... you have a ghoul inside of you?"

"We prefer the term kalak," said Alyssa defensively. "But at the moment-"

"At the moment she does," said the Doctor. "The ghost inside of her is named Alanna."

"Alanna," said Sophie, giving Alyssa a keen stare as she continued to chew on her meat. "She's the one who kidnapped you. What does she want with you, Doctor?"

"She... she wants me to go on a mission for her. To eliminate a bad ghoul," said the Doctor.

Sophie gave a bitter laugh. "A bad ghoul? That' s a joke if I ever heard one." She gave Alyssa a piercing stare. "And you really have one of those things inside you, right now?"

"She does," said the Doctor quickly.

Sophie's eyes narrowed as they flickered back and forth from the Doctor to Alyssa.

"So who am I talking to now, you, or the ghoul inside of you?" Sophie asked.

Alyssa looked helplessly at the Doctor, a glance that Sophie picked up on.

"You're talking to Alanna," said the Doctor.

"Why do you do that, Doctor?" Sophie asked, as she speared some lettuce with her fork.

"Why do I do what?" The Doctor asked.

"Every time I ask her a question, you answer it. Why is that?" Sophie asked. There was suspicion in her eyes.

"She's not the most articulate person," said the Doctor.

"Hey!" said Alyssa.

"Well, it's true," said the Doctor. Suddenly he noticed his hands moving, of their own accord, for the salad bowl. He watched as his hands started to pour a portion of salad for himself.

What are you doing?

I thought you could use some salad.

And I thought you weren't going to take control of me except in emergency situations. Is salad an emergency?

You really should eat something besides meat, Doctor.

Sophie's eyes squinted as she saw the Doctor put salad on his plate. "What're you doing, Doctor?"

"What am I doing?" the Doctor asked. "What am I doing?" he asked himself. He picked up his fork. "I know! I'm eating salad." He speared some cucumber, and put it in his mouth, trying not to make a face.

Sophie's scowl grew deeper. "You never eat salad."

"Of course I do," said the Doctor, chewing slowly.

"Never."

"You're mistaken," said the Doctor.

"Am I?" said Sophie.

"I had some a few years ago."

Sophie's eyebrows converged. "What's going on, Doctor?"

"What do you mean, what's going on?" the Doctor said innocently, as he put a forkful of lettuce to his mouth.

"What I mean is that you're not acting like yourself, this ghoul isn't answering any of my questions, the ghouls captured you, and apparently just let you go, and here you are, sitting in front of me, telling me everything is all right... while you're eating SALAD." Suddenly a pistol was in Sophie's hand, a kind Alyssa was unfamiliar with, and it was aimed straight at him. "Who are you, and where is the Doctor?"

"Wait!" said the Doctor, putting his hands up.

"Stop!" Alyssa cried. "He is the Doctor!"

"Are you?" Sophie asked, with uncertainty in her eyes.

"I am," said the Doctor.

"But if you weren't the Doctor, you would also say that," said Sophie.

"But I were the Doctor, I would also say that," said the Doctor. He saw the hesitancy in her eyes. "Sophie, I really feel silly having my hands up like this at the dinner table. Would you mind very much if I reached into my pocket for a girl ball?"

"It is you!" Sophie lowered her weapon. "Doctor, what is going on here?"

The Doctor reached into his pocket and pulled out a girl ball. "Brunette," he murmured, as he put it in his mouth and started sucking. It tasted good.

"He is the Doctor," Alyssa confirmed.

"Yes, I am me. But I already knew that," said the Doctor. "You're right, Sophie. The ghouls didn't simply release me. I know too much now. So in order to get my freedom I had to agree... to agree to...." His voice faltered.

"To what, Doctor? What did you have to agree to?" Sophie asked.

"He has Alanna inside of him," said Alyssa silently.

Up came the weapon again. "Doctor!" she cried.

"It's me! Sophie, It's me it's me it's me," said the Doctor. "Sophie, it doesn't control me."

"Then who was just eating salad a moment ago?" Sophie demanded.

"The ghoul is inside me, but promises to only take action in emergency situations," said the Doctor.

"And salad is an emergency situation?" Her eyes narrowed.

"To a vegetarian, I suppose," said the Doctor. "Listen, Sophie. It's only temporary. When this mission is over, the ghoul will leave me. It promised."

"It did. And you believe it?" Sophie asked.

"I didn't exactly have a lot of choice at the time," said the Doctor. "But believe me when I say that this is me, talking to you now. Alanna can't possibly know all the things that we've shared. She couldn't possibly imitate my personality that you know so well. Believe me, Sophie it's really me."

The pistol wavered for a few moments, and then went down. "All right," said Sophie. "So Alanna is in you..." She turned to Alyssa, "and what are you doing here?"

"I am here to assist in the search for the Penguin."

"We're searching for a penguin?" said Sophie cynically.

*********

The two men were staring at holos of the Doctor and Sophie. One of the two men was the Penguin. The other was a man named Jack. To call either of them men would be only a loosely descriptive term; it would be better to say that they were, at the moment, in man-form. The left half of the Penguin's body was white; and the right half was black.

When the Penguin had first gotten in touch with Jack, his first thought had been to enlist Jack in his primary mission. He realized that all he needed was another kalak, and he would be able to launch the Nova Missiles and destroy the world.

But Jack wasn't interested in that. He liked killing, as the Penguin did, but he only liked to do it in person; if he couldn't see the faces of the people he was killing, he wasn't interested.

And so the Penguin's only hope was to recruit him for his secondary assignment, as they both stared at the holos of Sophie and the Doctor.

"Her name is Sophie Janssen. She is the Doctor's companion," said the Penguin.

"Pretty girl," Jack commented.

"She is to die. All the ones the Doctor loves are to die, first. I want him to suffer, just as I made him suffer before. Once all those he cares for are eliminated, deal with him," said the Penguin. He saw Jack staring at the holo of Sophie intently. "Is that a problem?"

"No," said the kalak of Jack the Ripper. "No problem at all."

*********

The Doctor staggered into the bathroom after dinner and looked at his bloodshot eyes in the holographic mirror. It had been a long flight, and an even longer day.

I think Sophie took that rather well.

"She's depended on one person for all her formative years. Me. She's looked up to me as her guardian and protector. And now you've turned me into a monster in her eyes," said the Doctor.

That was not my intent. I have no desire to break the bond between the two of you.

"Your intentions are always admirable," the Doctor commented. He looked into the mirror. "Well?"

Well what?

"I want to take a shower and use the facilities," said the Doctor.

So?

"So... would you mind if I had a little privacy?"

Are you asking me to leave your body, Doctor?

"Just for a few minutes."

Oh, no, Doctor. Once I leave your body, you may not let me back in again.

"Does it matter if I say I promise to let you back in once I leave the bathroom?" the Doctor asked.

I'm sorry Doctor but our trust doesn't extend that far.

The Doctor looked at the toilet. "You... you expect me to... with you watching?"

Believe me, Doctor, I've seen everything. I've been inside Samaritans for years.

"You're without shame," said the Doctor simply. He grimaced, and then shook his head. He had no choice. He slowly removed his trousers and then his underwear and squatted over the toilet. As he did so, two tubes came swiftly out of the toilet. Both had masks at the end of them. One of them fitted neatly over the crack between the Doctor's buttocks; the other fitted snugly over the head of his penis.

Doctor, what is this?

"You've never gone to the bathroom before?" the Doctor asked. "Aaaaah" he said, as a liquid stream emerged from the tip of his penis into the snug tube.

Not like this. Is this another one of your inventions?

"Yes," said the Doctor. "It is the one advantage you women have over us. You shoot out straight down like a laser beam. Men, on the other hand, spray outwards like old fashioned shotguns. It goes everywhere. I hate cleaning bathrooms. This way there is never anything to clean." The Doctor made a face as he squeezed down with his anus. "Ah... ah... ah......" there was a plopping sound, and then a bulge started moving down from the tube connected to his asshole.

"This is so humiliating," said the Doctor.

It's a perfectly natural biological function.

"But not one meant to be watched with a live audience," said the Doctor, watching the bulge sink down into the toilet. He stood up and the connections were broken. "I suppose you're going to watch me shower as well."

I promise not to look.

"Ha!"

But Alanna couldn't keep her promise as she watched through the Doctor's eyes. The Doctor was tended to by another of his inventions, what he referred to as a Shower Snake, a seemingly self intelligent hose which moved up and down his body, spraying foam and water as needed. The Doctor gave an aaaahh of appreciation as warm water bathed his genitals. Alanna moved his head down slightly and saw the Doctor's organ of reproduction. Even flaccid it had good length and thickness. And it was so hairy! The Doctor had rich dark curls down there, much darker than the curls on his head. And underneath Alanna could see the Doctor's testicles. They looked enormous to her, even bigger than Clarence's, and Clarence had been a large black man.

The Doctor frowned, not realizing why he was looking downwards. He looked away, and the shower continued.

When it was done, the Doctor went to his bedroom. By now Alanna was no longer surprised that it was on the ceiling, nor that the Doctor didn't fall out when he got into it. But she was surprised by the tube coming out of the headboard, aimed at the Doctor's head.

What is that?

"A mental numbing field," said the Doctor, lying his head against the pillow.

Energy waves started to come out of the tube, sinking into the Doctor's head.

Why do you need that?

The Doctor's thinking slowed down rapidly. In seconds, he had the brain of a retarded person. "It... helps... me....." and then he dropped off to sleep.

*********

Good morning.

The Doctor blinked rapidly, looking down at the room below him, as he tried to figure out where the voice was coming from. He had had the most terrible dream, that a ghoul had entered his body and-

Did you sleep well?

It was no dream. Memory came back to him in a flood.

"Did you?" the Doctor asked in return, stretching as he got out of bed, his feet planted firmly on the ceiling.

I don't really sleep.

"I didn't think so," said the Doctor, walking down a side wall onto the floor. "One of the many advantages of being dead, I suppose."

I'm not actually dead. I'm life in another form. Psychic energy.

"I hope that's working out well for you," said the Doctor, heading into the bathroom slowly. He was about to be humiliated, again.

*********

As the Doctor got dressed, Alanna asked, "Why do you wear those old fashioned clothes?" For a moment the Doctor was startled to hear his words coming out of her mouth.

"What, you mean these?" said the Doctor, referring to his pants, his boots, and his buttoned down shirt.

Buttons. Clothes made of cotton. These things went out of style centuries ago.

"Yes, and what do people wear nowadays, hm?" said the Doctor, as he finished buttoning his shirt. "Clothes made of plastic. Or metal extract. People look like shiny control panels, not human beings."

Alanna laughed in his head. You're funny sometimes, Doctor.

*********

Sophie seemed relieved to see the Doctor at breakfast. It was as if she worried that Alanna might have carried him off in the night against his will. But he still saw the look of concern in her eyes.

"I'm fine. Really," said the Doctor. "Did you sleep well, dear?"

"Um," said Sophie noncommittally as she brought breakfast to the table.

Do you always make her cook for you, Doctor?

She likes doing it for me.

As they ate, Sophie frowned at Alyssa, and gave the Doctor uncertain looks, and brief smiles.

After breakfast, they got down to business.

"So, what can you tell me about this Penguin," said the Doctor, going into the study. He was sitting in a chair on one wall, Alyssa was sitting in a chair on the floor, and Sophie was sitting on a recliner on the ceiling, looking down at them all. Her dark hair and heavy Dutch breasts pointed downwards.

"First, I must teach you about the true nature of kalaks," said Alanna, speaking through the Doctor's mouth.

Sophie looked startled.

"Yes, she does that now," said the Doctor, making a face.

"It is the only way to communicate with all three of you. Unless, Doctor, you wish to repeat every word I think to you, accurately this time."

"No, you go right ahead," said the Doctor.

"Thank you," said Alanna.

Sophie noticed that when Alanna spoke through the Doctor, it was subtly different. The pitch of the Doctor's voice was the same, but the tone was different, more calmer and smoother than the Doctor's.

"There are many different kind of kalaks, what you call ghosts," said Alanna.

"Are there?" said the Doctor.

"Yes," said Alanna. "Most kalaks are not harmful as you know it."

"I'll have to take your word for it," said the Doctor.

"Some kalaks are what we call Apparitions," said Alanna. "They can be seen and heard, but they are very weak, and unable to take a host."

"Your typical haunted house ghost."

"Perhaps you might call them that," said Alanna. "Those of us with average powers are called kalaks, although in a sense we are all kalaks. But even among kalaks some are more powerful than others."

"Are kalaks powerful enough to take over peoples' minds?" the Doctor asked. Sophie no longer had any trouble distinguishing from when the Doctor was speaking and when Alanna was speaking through him. There was a difference in their speaking style! It reassured her that her Doctor was still in there, somewhere.

"Yes," said Alanna. "But it is forbidden by the Three Laws."

"The Three Laws?" said Sophie.

"The Circle of Ghouls has an ethical code, Sophie," said the Doctor. "They are not allowed to make their presence known, they are not allowed to interfere with people's lives, and the third one... what was it again?"

"That they are not allowed to harm hosts in any way," said Alanna.

Sophie sat up abruptly. "But... you're violating your own laws right now, by controlling the Doctor. He's aware you're inside of him, and you're interfering with him," said Sophie.

"And causing me great harm," the Doctor added.

"That is not true, Doctor," said Alanna sternly. She looked up at Sophie. "It is true I am riding in the Doctor."

"Riding." The Doctor grimaced. "Can we please find a better word than that?" said the Doctor.

"I am inside of him, but these are exigent circumstances. The Penguin must be stopped."

"Who is this Penguin?" Sophie asked.

"A kalak who is a mass murderer. I was about to explain more , before the Doctor interrupted me," said Alanna.

"Oh, please forgive me for interrupting myself," said the Doctor.

Alanna suddenly felt flustered. "Where was I? Yes. There is a third class of kalaks called Phantoms. Phantoms are the strongest of our order, but they are very rare."

"The rarer the better. I hope I never encounter one," said the Doctor.

"I have the honor of being a Phantom, Doctor," said Alanna.

"Wonderful," said the Doctor.

"When you resisted other attempts to apprehend you, I was sent to retrieve you. Doctor, I have a question for you, and it is very important. Can you tell me how you are able to resist being taken as a host? We have never encountered anyone quite like yourself."

"Yes, I'm sure you haven't," said the Doctor. There was a pause. "Oh, was that a real query? I'm sorry, I thought you were asking a rhetorical question." He gave a toothy smile. "Go on, you were talking about your precious ghouls."

"Kalaks, doctor," said Alanna sternly. "As I have said, there are three kinds of our people, Apparitions, kalaks, and Phantoms. We obey the three laws for the most part, but of course there are always a few who stray."

"Just a few," said the Doctor.

"We all have the right to enter people as hosts, and experience what they experience. It is how we live."

"As parasites."

"The host is not harmed; indeed, the host is never even aware of our presence," said Alanna.

"Never?"

"Except in those rare times when the kalak inside the host gets carried away by emotions," said Alanna.

"Very rare times."

"Most times there is no malice attached to it. After all, kalaks were once human. We are the minds, so to speak, of dead people, transmuted into psychic energy. We have feelings and needs like everyone else," said Alanna.

"I'm happy for you."

"For those kalaks who transgress in... minor ways, we apprehend them and set them straight. Some misguided individuals even believe they can use their powers to assist their hosts. They call themselves Guardians. However well intentioned, even this kind of intervention is forbidden. The Circle polices all violations of the Three Laws, however well intentioned."

"What a relief to know," said the Doctor. He looked up at Sophie, who was smiling down at him.

"And then there are the few, the truly few, who don't have good intentions. In fact, they are quite malign," said Alanna.

"Do you mean to tell me... that there are actually evil ghosts?"

Sophie gave a bitter laugh. Her family, like the Doctor's had been wiped out by a ghoul.

"It is no laughing matter," said Alanna sternly. "Some of them are merely Specters. They do not seek to cause evil, but in pursuit of their own pleasures, they care not whether they help or harm others."

"I think we've met a few of those," said the Doctor. "Briefly, at least."

Alanna ignored the obvious implications of that. "But among the truly evil, Lemures are the most common. They are also among the weakest."

"Lemures? Do they have striped tails and hide in trees?" the Doctor asked.

Sophie laughed again.

"It is no laughing matter, Doctor. A Lemure cannot control a host, but it can influence them. They are very wily, and can often get hosts to do their bidding without hosts even realizing what they are doing."

"Is this... Penguin, a Lemure?"

"No, he is not," said Alanna firmly. "After Lemures, the next most powerful malign entities are Shades and Fiends. Shades can often take control of hosts against their will."

"Well, you must be a Shade, then," said the Doctor.

"Do not say that, even in jest, Doctor," said Alanna. "After Shades are Fiends. Fiends are even more powerful than Shades. They are the kalaks of people who died with great anger in them. They are capable of doing great harm in the bodies they inhabit."

"And is this Penguin a Shade or Fiend?" the Doctor asked.

"No," said Alanna. "He is the most powerful... and the most rare kind of malign entity. He is a Poltergeist."

"What does that mean?" the Doctor asked sharply.

"A Poltergeist can take control of any host it wants to. Anyone," said Alanna. "A Poltergeist, however, doesn't actually need a host. It can take physical form. It can appear as a solid person. It is also rumored to have other powers."

"And let me guess," said the Doctor. "This Penguin... he's this most powerful kind of evil ghoul. A Poltergeist."

"Exactly," said Alanna. "We have been tracking him for years. He has been responsible for the deaths of many innocents, both people and kalaks. Two months ago, we received a message from him. It was in four words. 'The Earth will burn', he said. Two weeks ago, he tried and narrowly failed in an attempt to launch Nova Missiles from a US Air Force base. He will undoubtedly try again. He must be found, and stopped."

"Then stop him," said the Doctor.

"We have tried," said Alanna. "We have sent several Ghost Hunters after him. None have returned."

"Ghost Hunters?"

"Kalaks who can sense the presence of other kalaks."

"You mean... you can't tell when other ghouls are around?" the Doctor asked.

"It depends," said Alanna. "Kalaks have the ability to dim themselves to varying degrees. They can reduce their psychic output. Many can escape detection, especially if they are in a host. There are also rumored to be some kalaks who are Silences."

"Silences?"

"Kalaks who are absolutely undetectable, even when operating at full strength."

"So... you're like stealth fighters," said the Doctor. "Even you can't detect each other."

"Not any more, especially now that we have no more Ghost Hunters," said Alanna. "Alyssa here can sometimes detect Kalaks at very close distances. It is a gift that some Samaritans develop over time. But she would have to be in the same room with them, and even then detection is not guaranteed."

"That's why you brought her along. And I thought it was for her charming personality."

"Alyssa has been my Samaritan for the past seven years, Doctor. I have a strong emotional connection to her, just as you do to Sophie."

Sophie blushed and looked away.

Alanna resumed speaking. "Doctor, we know that you somehow have the ability to locate kalaks. It was hoped that you would be able to find the Penguin."

The Doctor considered, and slowly nodded. "I might. But first, I would need to be either in a place where this Penguin was, or see something he touched."

"Alyssa," said Alanna.

Alyssa stood up and drew something out of her handbag. It was a pistol. The Doctor looked startled to see it. "I didn't know followers of the She Goddess routinely carried compression pistols."

"They don't," said Alyssa. "This was retrieved from Grand Forks Air Force Base. It is believed the Penguin used it in the commission of his attack." She handed the pistol over to the Doctor, reaching upwards as he was sitting on a chair on the side wall.

The Doctor slowly cupped the pistol in his hand, and took a device out of his pocket, and held it to the pistol. "How long ago did he touch this?"

"Approximately two weeks."

The Doctor shook his head. "Not good."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm no ghoul," said the Doctor. "I don't have the innate ability to detect ghosts like your Ghost Hunters. Instead, I rely on technology. Come with me."

He got up, walked down a side wall onto the floor, and led them to another part of the Dome, a big spacious room with control panels and a holographic display of the world above them. On it were a series of red dots.

"What are these?" Alanna asked.

"Each one of those is a ghoul," said the Doctor.

Alanna felt a surge of surprise. "How can you know that?"

"Psychic energy is still energy," said the Doctor. "If you have the proper instrumentation, it can be detected."

"And you do?" Alanna asked.

"I do," the Doctor confirmed. "63 miniature satellites in orbit, scanning the globe for ghouls even as we speak."

Alanna tried to absorb the significance of this. "So... this is how you hunt kalaks," said Alanna, looking up at the virtual globe in horror. That's how he was so successful. The Doctor could go and kill any kalak he liked at any time. Anyone.

"Yes," said the Doctor.

"So... can we use this surveillance system to locate the Penguin?"

"If only it were that simple," the Doctor sighed.

********

732.

That was the number of distinct psychic energy strands that the Doctor had detected from kalaks.

"Ghouls typically emit energy on different wavelengths. If you study them long enough they act like a fingerprint. Each ghoul emits a unique combination of some subset of the 732 energy strands in distinct ratios," said the Doctor. He held up the compression pistol. "This gives me an imprint of the Penguin's psychic DNA."

"So... tell us where he is," said Alyssa.

The Doctor sighed. "It's not that easy. For one thing, he touched this weapon two weeks ago. When I scan it with this," he held up a device, "I detect 38 distinct energy patterns. A typical ghoul generated anywhere between 68 and 134 energy patterns. But the signal degrades over time. Even what's picked up by my satellites may be hours or days old; in other words, where ghouls were, but not necessarily where they are now."

"What are you saying, Doctor?" Alanna asked.

"This," he held up the compression pistol, "Will give us a start. I can narrow down some of the possibilities. But before we can find out where the Penguin is now, we'll need to get at least three or more samples of where he was. I have to find out the rest of the missing elements of his psychic DNA before I can trace him effectively."

"Then that is what we will do," said Alanna. She stared at the globe, in horror, but also in admiration. "It is amazing what you have built here, Doctor."

"Necessity is the engine of innovation," said the Doctor.

********

The Doctor looked approvingly as Sophie stood in the classic firing stance, exactly as he had taught her. Her arms were locked, her gaze level, and her feet were wide apart. Her firm round ass cheeks bulged out of the back of her antiquated denim pants she liked to wear.

The Doctor pointed to a glowing container on the other side of the lab. "That is psychic energy."

"You mean a kalak?" Alanna asked. This Doctor seemed capable of more and more incredible wonders! Her regret only deepened that the Circle had ordered his death after the Penguin was dealt with. He was clearly an incredible man.

"Not quite," said the Doctor. "Psychic energy created by these generators," he said, pointing to massive machinery against the wall.

The Doctor's jaw dropped open, but it was all Alanna. "Incredible, Doctor!"

"Thank you," said the Doctor, and Alanna realized this was the first time he had ever responded overtly to any of her compliments. "But the demonstration is not about that. This demonstration is about this. Let her rip, Sophie!"

Sophie took a deep breath, and fired. A bolt of energy shot out of her pistol and hit the glowing container of psychic energy. There was a cascade of dueling energy bolts, and then the container was suddenly clear.

"What is this weapon?" Alanna asked.

The Doctor took the weapon from Sophie's slender hands. She smiled at him as their fingers briefly touched. "This," said the Doctor, holding it up, "Is an Infinite Infinity Repeater."

"Infinite Infinity Repeater?" said Alyssa. "Isn't that extremely repetitive, Doctor?"

"Quite right, my dear," said the Doctor. "And when you in your free time come up with your own weapon which can vaporize ghouls, you can name it anything you like. Perhaps you'll call it 'Love'. Or maybe 'Carrot Sticks'."

Sophie snorted and hid a grin.

Alanna looked at the still smoking container. "Doctor... what does this device do to human flesh? What happens if you shoot it at a kalak while he is inside a host?"

"The device is designed to attack energy, not physical matter," said the Doctor. "But there has been some... bleedthrough."

"You have killed people, along with kalaks?"

"Sometimes," said the Doctor. "Believe me, they were better off for it."

The horror that Alanna felt was perfectly reflected in Alyssa Kleinberg's face.

*********

The Doctor was taking a bathroom break.

"It feels so odd to be in the body of a man," said Alanna, as the Doctor relieved himself into the mask which covered the head of his penis.

"Thank you for reminding me of your presence at this intensely private moment," said the Doctor, as warm yellow fluid evacuated from the slit at the tip of his male sex organ.

"I'm sorry, Doctor," said Alanna. "It's just... I've never been in the body of a man before." She tried not to look down at his penis, and failed.

"It must be exciting for you," said the Doctor dryly. "How does it feel?"

"I'm not sure," said Alanna. "It all feels so... remote."

"What do you mean?"

"Normally when I'm in the body of Alyssa, I feel everything going through her. With you, I also feel things, but it's... distant, somehow. As if you're far away, or separated in a way I don't quite understand," said Alanna.

"It must be very disturbing for you. I sympathize with your plight," said the Doctor, as he finished relieving himself. The mask over his organ pulled back, and a heat beam shone on the head of his penis and evaporated stray droplets.

"Do you intend to bring Sophie with us on this mission?" Alanna asked.

"Yes." The Doctor put away his penis inside his old fashioned cotton trousers. He moved to the sink, and let it wash his hands.

"It could be dangerous."

"Leaving her alone her could be even more dangerous, especially know that you ghouls know the location of my base."

"We would never hurt her, Doctor." Only you, when the Penguin has been dealt with, Alanna thought.

"How comforting," said the Doctor.

"In any event, I do not think it would be possible to leave her behind. The two of you are clearly inseparable," said Alanna.

"What does that mean?" the Doctor asked, as he looked at himself in the holographic mirror.

"Only that she cares for you deeply," said Alanna.

"I raised her," said the Doctor, waggling his eyebrows in the mirror. "I took care of her from the age of 10. It is only natural."

"Only natural," Alanna agreed.

"You said that Alyssa could detect ghouls at short range. We'll definitely need to bring her along too," said the Doctor.

"I said she sometimes could," said Alanna. "And why do we need her? You obviously have technology which can detect kalaks more efficiently than we can."

"You mean this?" The Doctor held up his kalak scanner. "It only works at a distance of one inch."

"One inch? How can that be? Doctor, you have satellites which can detect psychic energy from Earth's orbit."

"Yes, I do," said the Doctor. "And it wasn't long before I created a handhold model which should have been able to detect ghouls at several hundred feet."

"Should have?"

"It didn't work. It was always giving false positives," said the Doctor. He shook his head. "Sophie claimed she was able to get it to work once or twice, but I could never get it to work properly. The only way I could get it to work was to radically reduce its range to one inch."

"But... that's preposterous! If you can detect psychic energy from thousands of miles away, you should able to detect it a few feet away!"

"Should, yes. Can, no." The Doctor looked into the mirror. "A mystery is only a mystery until we get smart enough to shake science by the throat until it gives us the answers we want it to." He looked himself in the eye. "Shall we go?"