Femboi Hooters Pt. 06

Brendan woke early on Tuesday morning. He felt happy and content as he drifted off to slumber last night, but upon waking, his first thought was of Stephanie. The situation was complicated. He knew they weren't suited to each other, but some of the words she'd said to him yesterday had gotten under his skin. His stomach sank.

Did he lie to her? Their relationship, such as it was, had ended, and there was no doubt about it. So too, possibly, had their friendship. This hurt, because despite everything, and despite their awkward sex life, Steph was a chill housemate, and they got on well. But the question mattered to him because he'd always prided himself on his honesty.

He stared at the ceiling. This wouldn't be his bedroom for too much longer.

Did he? Did he hide something from her? Steph had made a point worth thinking about. If he didn't know he wasn't completely straight, why did he buy the Femboi Hooters outfit? And if Brendan was as honest as he thought he was, why didn't he tell her about it?

Things had moved so fast. As he woke up this Tuesday morning, he remembered the outfit had only arrived a short week ago.

Last Friday, after Steph came home from work, he confessed to her that he'd recently been watching some trans and gay porn. This came as a surprise to her. He told her about the Femboi Hooters uniform he'd bought, and how he dolled himself up and wore it to a truckstop the night before.

Would he have ever told her anything at all about this, if not for the tits he couldn't hide? He genuinely did not know.

It had been warm lately, but this morning felt a little chilly. Looking out the window, he saw thick grey clouds hanging low in the sky.

There was too much pressure and not enough time. He was still coming to terms with everything himself. Maybe, if he had more time to process, he could've framed things in a better light for Steph.

Brendan sighed. He was grateful that his supervisor had given him today off work, and also tomorrow, to help him cope with the short-term fallout of his dead relationship. He appreciated working for a company that genuinely valued its staff.

He threw back the covers and got up. His ankles and calves felt the unseasonal morning chill. He padded to the kitchen, brewed a coffee and made himself some toast. He stood there, rooted to the spot, munching and slurping, lost in thought.

Those pangs of guilt kept stabbing into him. He felt like he'd thrown Steph's life off-course, and in many ways, he wished they'd never met. Especially now that it seemed like nothing, not even a friendship, would be saved.

Fuck it. Seriously, fuck this shit to hell. It was over, he told himself. If he kept fixating on this, he was going to drive himself insane. It wasn't worth it.

Time to move on. He took a few deep breaths, pushing it all out of his mind.

It would've been better if they'd never crossed paths, but what's done is done.

He went back to bed and tried to fall asleep again, wanting nothing more than to feel time slip by. He cursed the caffeine swimming in his blood, keeping him awake.

With a sigh, he propped himself up on some pillows, grabbed his laptop, and started watching something on Netflix. He was barely paying attention.

Around half past ten, his phone pinged. "Hey," said Jessica. She was on her coffee break.

Brendan's face erupted into a wide smile. "Hey," he replied. He ran his fingertips through his blonde hair.

Jessica: how's your day?

Brendan: quiet

Jessica: mine is too i guess

Brendan: im not at work today

Jessica:?

Brendan: or tomorrow. too much to go into rn

Jessica: everything ok?

Brendan: kinda yeah i guess

Jessica: you wanna talk?

Brendan: what time do you go on lunch

Jessica: 1pm

Brendan: want some company?

Jessica: yeah ok :)

Brendan: with me?

Jessica: no, doofus, with someone else I'm not texting right now. come buy another bra :)

He smiled. He went out for a brisk walk, filling his lungs.

*

Brendan drove to Walmart and parked his car. He checked the time on his phone. Ten to one. He took a deep breath. Maybe it was too soon to think about someone new. Maybe he needed to be alone for a while. A hermit lifestyle, while complicated, offered tangible positives.

The store greeter greeted him.

He strode towards the women's clothing section, and she saw him before he saw her. "Hey," she grinned.

"Hey," replied Brendan. He wasn't sure whether to hug her, kiss her cheek or shake her hand, and in complete societal paralysis, he raised his palm in greeting. She did the same. It felt like they were high fiving without touching. Awkward as fuck.

"Day off work, huh?" Jessica remarked. "Sweet."

Brendan shuffled his feet. "It's because... maybe I can tell you over lunch?"

"Sure," she replied. "I'll be done in five."

"Cool," Brendan grinned. "In the meantime, I'll just casually browse through your selection of brassières."

"Yeah, you do that," Jessica smiled. "I'll just be over here doing some pointless shit with some other clothes, but let me know if you need any assistance."

"At least I know what size I am now," he joked.

As she turned to while away her last five minutes before her lunch break, she winked at him. Her dark Asian eyes were beautiful. He looked back over his shoulder. Even under her unflattering Walmart smock, he could make out the curvature of her ass. And he already knew she had a big dick.

Brendan rummaged through Walmart's bras for a few minutes, willing time to speed up. He felt her approach him.

"I just need to quickly go out back to clock off for my break," she said. "Meet you on the benches just outside the front entrance?"

"OK," he nodded. He walked back past the store greeter, leaving the store. She looked at him doubtfully, as if he was lifting something, though she had no evidence to ping him with. The electronic beepers remained silent as he passed, giving the suspicious greeter nothing to work with.

"I'm free for an hour," beamed Jessica, sitting down on the bench next to him, "but I'm hungry. Have you eaten?"

"No," Brendan replied. "Any recommendations?"

"There's a Subway on the other side of the carpark. I usually go there for lunch, just because it's close, but to tell you the truth, I'm so fucking tired of eating the same thing every day. Like, I don't even need to order anymore. They already know exactly what I want."

"I drove," revealed Brendan. "You wanna go someplace else instead?"

Jessica glanced at her phone. "I've only got an hour, and I'm still dressed in this hideous blue uniform."

"I like your hideous blue uniform," Brendan smiled.

"Weirdo," laughed Jessica, throwing her dyed black hair back. "You're either a weirdo, or a liar."

Brendan twitched on the inside. He fixated on the bright streak of purple in her dark black hair. If given a choice, he'd definitely go for weirdo. He wasn't a liar. "I can drive us somewhere, if you like."

Jessica didn't want to make a scene. "Nah, Subway is fine." They walked across the carpark, not speaking much.

*

Brendan ordered a six-inch salad sub on Italian, toasted, with cheddar. He asked for lettuce, tomato, cucumber, peppers and pickles. No sauce, but shitloads of salt and pepper. Jessica followed him. She ordered a chicken teriyaki footlong on rye, and a bottle of water. The cashier rung up their orders, each paying separately.

They sat down and began to eat. "Makes sense," said Brendan.

"Huh?" Jessica inhaled her first bite.

"Your sandwich is bigger than mine," he grinned. He unwrapped his lunch and took a bite. Flecks of crusty bread flew everywhere.

Jessica coughed.

"Like, because your dick is bigger than mine, and... so..." Immediately, Brendan wished he hadn't gone there.

"Yeah, I know, I know what you meant, but... fuck... wow. I mean, it's lunch."

"Sorry," said Brendan. Too forward. He took a bite of his sandwich. "Hey, are you doing anything after work tonight?"

"Other than comparing dick sizes? Well, my tentative plans included writing a review of my ten thousandth chicken teriyaki sub, summoning the devil..."

"Would you like to hang out?" asked Brendan, interrupting. "I mean, like, with me? Together?"

Jessica remembered last night's text exchange. For now, she sidestepped his question. "How's everything going with your ex?"

"We're done," he exhaled. "She doesn't want to be friends with me, and maybe that's for the best. We're gonna need to navigate around each other for a while, because she's gonna need to move her stuff out, and then I'm gonna need to find a new place to stay, and then we need to give the keys back to the realtor and get the apartment cleaned for the next victim." He took a bite of his sandwich.

A couple of years ago, Jessica went through a bad breakup of her own. She recalled how much it hurt. "I'm really sorry to hear that."

Brendan knew Jessica's words came from the right place. "Don't be, but thanks anyway." He chewed thoughtfully. "To tell the truth, it's a relief that it's over. It wasn't working at all."

They munched in silence for a few moments.

"How are you feeling about everything?" Jessica asked. "I don't mean to pry, but if you'd like to talk about it..."

"I appreciate that," he smiled.

Jessica took another bite of her sub. "Tell me about her?"

"Not much to tell," Brendan replied.

"But you must've been attracted to her, right?"

Brendan grimaced. "I lost my virginity to her."

Jessica nodded. "I think you mentioned that before."

"And that only ever happens once, right, and so when it happened to me, I kind of lost my sense of proportion. I lost my virginity late, well at least compared to most other people, and I felt like there must've been a reason for me to find her at that point in my life, so next thing, we moved in together. Looking back, that wasn't smart. We didn't know each other very well, but surprisingly, we ended up being good housemates." He took a bite of his sub. "If that was enough, just being housemates, I would've been happy. At least for a while. Until I met someone special, that is. But the apartment was small, and our spare room didn't have a spare bed, so we slept together. To the rest of the world, it probably looked like a relationship, even though there was always something missing. Something didn't feel right, but I guess it took me a while to figure out what it was."

"What did she look like?"

Brendan raised his eyebrows. "The total opposite of you." He didn't elaborate any further, but Jessica imagined a quietish, hyper-patriotic midwestern Christian girl with dull hair, a flat chest, and an insular outlook on life. She had no idea how close to the mark she was.

"I remember you telling me something about dressing up like a Hooters waitress," Jessica probed. "Did your girlfriend know about that?"

Brendan looked around the dining area. His reply came in a soft voice. "Yeah. But if I'm being honest, maybe I only told her because there was no way I was gonna hide these from her." He pointed to his breasts. "Everything happened so fast."

"Fucking hell, dude. And she was chill with it?"

"At first, when I told her, I don't think she understood. When I explained to her that I'd been watching some trans and gay porn, I think she was surprised about that. She said she assumed I watched porn, because most men do, but my preferences came as a surprise to her. And then I had to explain the whole Femboi Hooters thing to her." He took a bite of his lunch, chewing hard. "It felt like she at least tried hard to understand, even though this was all completely unexpected to her. I guess I need to give her points for that. Or maybe she was just overwhelmed by everything and couldn't deal." He shrugged. "I don't really know."

Jessica nodded. She took a bite of her chicken teriyaki, waiting for Brendan to continue.

"And then I told her I went out dressed up as a Hooters waitress. I told her that last Thursday night, I went to that truckstop, you know the one just on the northern edge of town, and I got ploughed by a fat redneck in his truck. And I also told her about a work trip to Washington a couple of months earlier where I went to a gloryhole one night, because I was curious about what it was like."

Under the table, Jessica's cock was hard. It felt like Brendan was skating over the surface of some incredibly hot stories right now, and she wanted to know more. "How long have you been doing this?"

"Well, the gloryhole experience was a few months ago, but I only got the Femboi Hooters outfit last week." He paused. "It arrived last Tuesday, exactly seven days ago today, and in the space of a single week, everything about my life has changed. It feels like I've walked through a portal into a completely different existence." He took a bite before continuing. "It's like the uniform has special powers. Whenever I wear it, I turn into the world's biggest whore. I wore it for the first time last Thursday night, when I got fucked by the trucker I just mentioned. When I came home, I showered and climbed into bed, and the last thing I thought about before falling asleep was wishing I had a pair of huge, juicy tits, and they were there on Friday morning when I woke up. Later that night, I got dressed up and hung out in the Hooters carpark, and even though I felt nervous, it only took me about five minutes to find some dick. Last Saturday afternoon, I dressed up and went to a NASCAR event at the speedway and picked up two sexy Latin dudes with big dicks. I think I told you about all of that stuff before, but just last night, I got dressed up and went to that Middle Eastern café near the river on Main Street. I showed a couple of hairy Arabs a good time in the loading dock." He paused for a second. "They loaded my dock up real good," he grinned.

Jessica gasped. "Dude, you're such a fucking slut! You know that, right?"

Brendan blushed. "It's the uniform. I swear it's that. It has special powers. Like, why else would I suddenly have these tits?"

"My plans for this evening have suddenly changed," Jessica declared. "Wanna hang out?" Her dark brown Asian eyes twinkled.

Brendan smiled. "Yeah," he whispered.

A silence momentarily settled. "Hey, can I be honest about something?" she asked.

"Of course," he replied.

"I don't want to get ahead of the curve, but I really like you," she said.

"I really like you too," Brendan replied.

"I'm so curious about you, dude," admitted Jessica. "I've been single for a long time, though. I need you to know that."

"Whereas I'm just coming out of a relationship. But it's not like I've got any residual feelings mixed up with that, because I don't." He finished his sandwich. "I'm not hung up on my ex in any way."

Jessica checked the time on her phone. "I've got some more clothes to sell," she sighed, preparing to trudge back to Walmart. Outside, it had begun to rain. She hadn't brought her umbrella with her.

"Come this way," said Brendan, steering her path towards his car. He pressed a button on his keyring and the trunk opened. He retrieved a large golf umbrella.

He sheltered her, and together, they approached Walmart.

"Thank you," whispered Jessica. "See you tonight?"

"Sure. What do you want to do?"

"We could grab a bite to eat, then maybe you could come to my place?"

"OK."

"You could stay over, too." Jessica looked at the ground, shuffling her feet. "I mean, if you'd like to."

"I would," he grinned. "What time do you finish?"

"Half past five."

"I'll be here," he said. "I'll pick you up after work."

Jessica waved. She dragged her minimum wage ass back into megacorporate America.

*

Just before half past five, Brendan pulled up in the Walmart carpark. A bag lay on the backseat of his car. It contained a change of clothes for tomorrow and some overnight necessities, including his toothbrush. He'd also packed his Femboi Hooters outfit, just in case the conversation went that way.

He made sure the car stereo was off before killing the engine. It was still raining -- he walked to the entrance underneath his umbrella. He ran his fingers through his thick blonde hair. His locks were growing fast. He placed a cap on his head, peak facing backwards.

Jessica found him straight away. She looked fucking amazing. She wore a denim jacket, laden with band patches, over a black t-shirt that highlighted her bulging rack. He noticed her black skirt and her cherry red boots. Her lips were painted a bright, glossy red. "Hey," she said.

"Wow," said Brendan. "You look incredible."

"Thanks," she blushed.

"Can I escort you to my automobile?"

Silently, they walked through the rain to Brendan's car. Jessica climbed into the passenger seat. Her bag, containing her work uniform, lay at her feet. "I forgot how to get to your place," Brendan admitted.

"You hungry?" asked his passenger. "Wanna get something to eat first?"

"Sure," Brendan agreed. He started the ignition and flicked the windscreen wipers back on. "Tell me where you want to go."

"Anywhere but Subway," laughed Jessica. "Fuck that shit."

Brendan turned onto the road and followed her directions across the State line to her destination of choice, about five blocks west of her apartment. His car stereo remained silent. He pulled up in the carpark behind a fish and chicken joint on Prospect Avenue. The interior was brightly lit, with a handful of lurid plastic tables and chairs scattered throughout the space. Brendan perused the menu, lit up behind the counter, and ordered the fish sandwich meal, with fries and a Coke. Jessica asked for the chicken equivalent.

"Two takeout meals in one day," she commented, carrying her tray to a table.

"Someone should write a song about that," he replied.

Jessica played air guitar, growling like a death metal vocalist. "I ate Japanese chicken for lunch on a sandwich, then I had deep fried bird on bread for dinner, the flames of hell rose high and everything was dead... two chicken sandwiches, two chicken sandwiches..."

"Aren't the words meant to rhyme?"

"Shut up," Jessica grinned softly. Self-consciously, she ran her fingers through her black hair. She grabbed some fries, and they ate in silence for a while. Outside, it was still raining. "Hey, what music do you like?"

Brendan gulped nervously. "I'm not sure."

"You're not sure," she smirked, "or you're embarrassed, and you don't wanna tell me?"

"There's a Dire Straits CD in the car stereo."

Jessica gave the appearance of a thoughtful nod, but inside, she was shocked to the core.

"Not that I'm into them," Brendan backpedalled. "It's Steph's. I need to give it back to her."

Jessica dark eyes smiled. "That's cool." Her dad was into Dire Straits. She remembered them from her childhood. Those perfect, golden days before her parents disowned her. "Can we listen to it later?"

Brendan didn't respond. He wondered if he was being judged.

They ate quietly, their silence broken only by shallow observations about the weather. Once they were done, they threw their trash in the can and left.

"We need wine," Jessica declared as they climbed back into Brendan's car. "I know a place." Brendan navigated his way back out onto the road, and moments later, he pulled up at the kerb beside a quiet corner store. She led the way as they walked inside. The wine section was way up back. Brendan opened the fridge and grabbed two bottles of New Zealand sauvignon blanc. "Hey, big spender!" Jessica joked.

"Huh?" replied a surprised Brendan.

"I'm all for imported wine, but I usually go for the two-dollar French antifreeze." Jessica held up a bottle of her regular poison of choice.

"This is better," Brendan persuaded.

"Fine by me if you're buying," she shrugged.

He carried the bottles to the register. The cashier rung up the sale and they headed back to the car. "Still can't remember exactly where you live," he admitted. "I don't come to the Missouri side of the border very often," he pleaded.

'That's gonna change,' Jessica thought to herself. She really liked him. Hopefully he liked her back in the same way.

Brendan started the engine, and without him realising, Jessica's finger stabbed the car stereo. As it sprang to life, Dire Straits began seeping out of the speakers. That languid, scratchy guitar intro that gives way to...

Jessica closed her eyes and began to sing quietly to herself. "You're so far away from me; you're so far I just can't see; you're so far away from me..."

Brendan glanced over at her in the passenger seat. Her beautiful red lips were moving, but her eyes were closed. This commercial, unchallenging, middle-of-the-road band was a long way from the goth and metal he presumed she regularly listened to, but he could tell that something about hearing this song, presumably wellsprung from a distant past, spoke to her. Even though he didn't know the area well, he knew he'd driven way past her place, but he didn't want to interrupt her moment. He kept driving. He turned up the volume, and she sang the whole fucking song to herself.

Jessica snapped back to reality as the song ended and faded away. She opened her eyes, her mental GPS quickly working out where they were. "Take the second left," she said, reaching out quickly to turn the volume knob down. Minutes later, they were at her place.

Brendan lifted his overnight bag from the back seat. He heard stray gunshots in the distance. Jessica didn't flinch. She walked towards her building, and Brendan followed, his bag slung over his shoulder.

Jessica opened the door, and once again, Brendan's eyes were assailed with a decorative mix of dark purples and blood reds.

"Make yourself comfortable," she said, gesturing to the couch. "I'm just gonna use the john." She closed the bathroom door, and for a brief moment, Brendan wondered whether she peed standing up or sitting down. He heard the toilet flush, then the faucet running as she washed her hands. "Can I get you anything?"

"I'm good," he replied.

She retrieved two glasses from her kitchen cupboard. The rain fell harder now.

"Good for the farmers," said Brendan, making his best attempt at shallow small talk.

"Huh?" She sat on the couch next to him.

"The rain."

"What about it?"

"Good for the farmers."

Jessica shrugged. "Yeah. I guess."

A strange mood fell. "You OK?" he asked.

"Sorry. It's just... it's just that I haven't heard that song in a long time," Jessica confessed.

Brendan wasn't sure what to say.

Jessica took a deep breath. "I was... very confused... as a teenager." She stopped herself in her tracks, realising she was about to divulge intimate details of her life to someone she'd only recently met. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's OK," said Brendan, handing her host a bottle of wine.

Jessica filled two glasses and handed one to her guest. "That song, dude." A tear rolled down her cheek. "You probably thought I was mocking you or maybe even judging you before when you mentioned Dire Straits." She left the wine bottle on the coffee table in front of them.

"I wasn't sure," replied a watchful Brendan.

"My parents orphaned me," she revealed. "Growing up, I always thought something wasn't quite right about me... like, for the longest time, it felt like I'd been born inside the wrong body. I never really felt like a boy on the inside, but I guess my parents didn't know that. I was never into football or guns or the typical stuff a midwestern boy is meant to be into. I used to play rough with my childhood friends, though maybe I was overcompensating. Who knows; maybe my parents sensed something, but maybe they also shrugged it off and brushed it aside as if it was just a phase I was going through. But it wasn't a phase, it was real. And so one day, when I was about eighteen, I told my parents that I was a girl, and..."

A tear trickled down Jessica's cheek.

"At first, I think they thought I was trying to tell them I was gay. Like, as if that wouldn't have been hard enough for them. They were quite conservative in many ways, and besides, a gay only child means no grandkids, right?" She paused, thinking hard. "It was the hardest thing in my life to tell them that I liked boys, but then I had to explain that it wasn't because I was gay, it was because I was really a girl. The best way I could explain it to them was to say I had the wrong body." She sipped her wine.

"They didn't get it," Jessica continued, "but the hardest part was feeling like they didn't want to understand what I was saying. To my parents, the equation was simple. Boys have penises, girls don't, and there's no such thing as having the 'wrong body.' It was the hardest thing in the world to try to explain to them that, for some unknown reason, the laws of biology didn't seem to apply to me." Jessica sipped her wine. "They looked shocked. They probably thought I'd turned out this way because of something they'd done in a past life, and that this was some kind of eternal punishment to them, but... I tried to tell them it isn't... it wasn't... I tried so hard to tell them... all I wanted them to do was accept me for who I was, but... they... fuck..."

Jessica wiped her eyes. Brendan wasn't sure what to do or say.

"Like I said, I was an only child. I didn't have any sisters or brothers. I haven't seen my parents since they asked me to leave, and I don't expect to ever see them or hear from them ever again, so the bottom line is I don't have any family. All I have is my minimum wage comrades at Walmart, and the local goth-slash-metal community." Jessica's fingers reached out for her glass; she threw the liquid back like it was medicine. It could've been the most beautiful wine ever produced, but right now, all she wanted to do was to escape from these emotions. She held her empty vessel out, pleading for more, and Brendan filled it back up again. "My dad used to love Dire Straits. We used to listen to that album all the time driving around in his car." She paused for a second, smiling thinly. "It was good hearing that song again tonight, but it brought back some hard memories."

Brendan's breath came in shallow, nervous bursts. "Do you need to be alone right now? Do you want me to go?"

Jessica cackled, wiping her tear-streaked face. "No, dude, of course not. Besides, how the fuck were you to know your lameass whiteboi taste in music that you blamed on your fucking ex would've triggered this shit?"

Brendan sat motionless.

"It's not your fault," she continued softly. "This shit comes back up sometimes, I guess."

"I've been meaning to ask you something," said Brendan.

Jessica waited.

"Are you Thai?"

"Yes!" beamed Jessica. "We lived in a small town just west of the border with Laos. I was born there, but I don't have any clear memories of it. We came to America when I was young, and we all became citizens. I'd love to go back there one day." She paused for a second. "I had a different name, too, but that's gone now."

"I'd love to visit Thailand one day."

"It's so beautiful there."

"Jessica is a beautiful name," whispered Brendan.

"Thank you," she breathed.

Brendan refilled their glasses.

"Do you have any family?" she asked him.

"My mom, but she's not well. My father and stepfather are both dead, so I look after Mom as well as I can. I never had any siblings either." He sipped his wine. "It's funny. I'd always dreamed of packing up and moving to New York City, but I can't leave her, because I'm the only one she has left."

"Dude, feels," she replied. "I get it. Sometimes I wonder who's looking after my own parents. I'm their only kid, and they kicked me out, so..."

An uncomfortable silence fell.

Jessica had an idea. "Tell me more about your Femboi Hooters outfit?"

"I brought it with me," said Brendan, excitedly. "Want me to show you?"

"Fuck yeah!" Jessica clapped her hands together with glee.

"Can I change in your bedroom?"

"Sure!"

"OK, wait here." Brendan grabbed his bag.

Five minutes later, he re-emerged, wearing a pair of long cotton socks, a pair of tight orange shorts, and a white tank top with the words FEMBOI HOOTERS emblazoned across his ginormous rack. "I also wear a shiny pair of bright orange boots, but I forgot to bring 'em with me. So maybe just imagine."

"You look so fucking hot, dude. I'm so jealous of your titties." Jessica paused for a second; she realised she'd just called him 'dude.' "By the way, are you still 'Brendan' when you dress up?"

"No, I'm Brandy."

Jessica switched lanes immediately. "Do you wear make-up, Brandy?"

"Yeah, I do, but I forgot to bring that too."

"And what about nail polish?"

"I've been meaning to paint my fingernails, but I haven't gotten around to it yet."

"You want me to paint your nails tonight?"

"Yeah," whispered Brandy.

Jessica smiled. "Let's get you dolled up." She shook her empty wineglass, and Brandy opened their second bottle, pouring generously. "Come with me."

Jessica's bathroom was brightly lit. She placed a wooden stool underneath a fluorescent light for Brandy to perch on. She painted Brandy's fingernails black, then left them to slowly dry while she turned her attention to make-up.

They talked tips for the next twenty minutes, maybe half an hour, as Jessica made her special guest look beautiful. She applied eye shadow, mascara, blush and lipstick. Brandy loved every minute: this was the first time she'd been made-up by someone other than herself.

"Do you have a brow pencil?" Brandy asked.

Jessica smiled knowingly. "You want me to give you some cute freckles, don't you?"

"Yeah," nodded Brandy.

Jessica dotted a small constellation of freckles across Brandy's forehead nose and cheeks. "Take a look," she offered, pointing to the bathroom mirror.

Brandy gasped. "Wow," she whispered. She shook her hands against the air in front of her, willing her fingernails to dry.

"You're so fucking pretty," said Jessica. She took a small make-up brush to Brandy's cheeks, dusting the residue away.

"Can you take some photos of me?" Brandy surrendered her phone, careful not to ruin her fingernails.

"I'm so jealous," said Jessica. "Do you have a Grindr account?"

Brandy nodded.

"You're gonna get so much attention once you upload some of these."

"Really?" asked Brandy.

"You'll be fighting horny dudes off with a stick." Jessica took some snaps.

"There's one more part of the uniform I haven't put on yet," Brandy remembered. "Wait here." She stood up and walked back to her bag. Reaching in, praying that her nails were dry, she retrieved her Femboi Hooters cap. She placed it on backwards and padded back to Jessica's bathroom. "Does this look OK?"

Jessica gulped. "Oh my fucking god, you're unbelievable. You look like you've just stepped out of an anime story." Her arms reached out and wrapped themselves around Brandy's waist. Their lipsticked mouths met in a slow, sensuous kiss.

Brandy's black painted fingernails reached down under the hem of Jessica's skirt.

Jessica broke their kiss. She grabbed Brandy's hand and led her to her bedroom. She switched on a lamp, which illuminated the space in a gaudy red glow.

They lay down on her bed together, and Jessica's fingers explored Brandy's beautiful face. "I did such a good job on your freckles," she whispered, her dark Asian eyes on fire. She reached down to touch Brandy's clit -- it was hard and throbbing. "Well well well, what do we have down here?" she grinned playfully.

Brandy's breath came in fits and starts. "I'm so nervous," she said.

Jessica took her fingers off Brandy's clit like it was too hot to touch. She propped herself up on one elbow, shocked. "Why?"

"Well, because this is weird. Like, I'm a boy dressed up as a girl, and you're a girl with a dick, and... umm... like..."

"So?" interrupted Jessica, trying not to frown in frustration. "You don't need to draw diagrams or flowcharts."

"Yeah, I know, but... this is different." What Brandy wanted to say was that this experience wasn't like dressing up as a Hooters waitress to solicit anonymous dick. Tonight meant something on a deeper level. "Can you... can you please call me Brendan again?"

"Sure," replied Jessica, nodding.

Brendan tried to explain. "It's not just about appearances. Sure, I'm dressed up like Brandy right now, but really, I'm only Brandy when I'm on the lookout for cheap sex." He looked around the room. "This doesn't feel cheap."

"I don't know about that," volleyed Jessica with a devilish smirk. "After a couple of bottles of mid-priced wine, I'm anyone's."

Brendan laughed, but it sounded a little forced.

"Don't think too much," cooed Jessica. "If it feels right, then that's all that matters. It feels right to me." She paused for a moment. "Does it... does it feel right to you?"

Brendan nodded. "Yes," he whispered, looking up at her. "Kiss me again?"

Jessica's eyes closed as her fingers touched Brendan's cheek. She rammed her tongue so far down his throat she nearly made him choke. She felt his thick tongue pushing back, and she moaned at how good it felt to kiss someone as passionately as this.

A thin trickle of spit connected their seductively painted mouths as they pulled apart. All they could hear was each other breathing.

Wordlessly, Brendan encouraged Jessica to lie on her back. He kissed her neck and sucked on her nipples through her tight black t-shirt. Jessica moaned; she held her hands on the back of his head, holding him against her tits, wanting more of his mouth. She felt Brendan's hands beginning to explore further afield. He found Jessica's balls, hidden inside her lacy panties, and gave them a light squeeze.

"Oh my fucking god," whispered Jessica.

Brendan swooped down to her southern hemisphere. His tongue lapped at Jessica's full, heavy nutsack. His black fingernails freed her shaft from her panties, and seven inches of fat Thai trans cock sprung out with a boing. "I love your cock so much," he said, reaching out to touch it.

He locked the shaft from base to tip before impaling his face on his host's meat. His tongue ran laps around her sensitive uncut head, making her gasp and moan. His wet fist stroked up and down, and she felt Jessica getting stiffer in his throat. "It keeps getting bigger... I can feel it."

Brendan's face bobbed up and down, his mouth taking about two thirds of Jessica's length into his throat. By now, most of his lipstick was smeared across her thick shaft.

"You need to stop," pleaded Jessica. The heel of her hand landed on his forehead, pushing him back.

He took his mouth off her dick. He pouted; his face was wet with spit. "Am I doing something wrong?" He'd had a lot of practice sucking cock this past week, and so far, nobody else had complained.

"You're gonna make me bust so fucking hard if you keep doing that."

"Yeah, but you were just telling me if it feels good, that's all that matters," replied a cheeky Brendan. "Sucking your dick felt good, but now I don't know what to think," he added with a sassy smirk.

Jessica threw him onto his back like a ragdoll. The mattress bounced a little. She pulled his tight orange shorts off, tossed them against the wall, threw his cottonsocked legs into the air, then pulled his cheeks apart.

Brendan felt a hungry mouth and tongue lapping at his twitching boipussy. "Fuck, babe," he seethed.

Jessica paused for a second, registering that he'd just called her 'babe.' Her heart sang as her tongue went back to work. She pulled his fat cheeks apart as wide as she could. As she ate him out, Brendan's legs thrashed wildly either side of her body. She couldn't get enough of his juicy cunt in her face. She growled as she ate him out as deeply as she could.

"You ready for this meat now?" asked Jessica. Her face stank of his hungry crack.

Brendan rolled onto his back. "I've been ready for it all fucking night. Why the fuck do you think I'm here?"

"The pleasure of my company?" Jessica pinged.

"Well, yeah, that too," he replied bashfully, "but fuck, babe, I feel like I'm in heat right now. I need your girldick in me so fucking bad." He'd never felt more ready for anything in his life. "I want to watch you."

"Huh?" quizzed Jessica.

"I want to watch you. While you fuck me. I want to look at your pretty face."

Jessica's heart nearly exploded. She lifted his hips up onto some cushions, spat on her shaft, and slowly, very slowly, began to push her trans cock inside his insatiable femboi pussy. She heard him gasp as she wedged the head in.

"Go slow," Brendan pleaded.

"I know. I don't want to hurt you."

"It's not that," he admitted. Given how often he'd been fucked lately, Delta could probably park planes in his ass. "I can take you, it's just... it's just... I want to feel you." He bit his bottom lip. "Does that make sense?"

Jessica's eyes drowned in Brendan's constellation of fake freckles. "Yeah. It does." She pushed herself in so very slowly, and as she felt his pussy gripping her shaft, she nearly lost it. She felt his fingers wrapping around her hips and his sweet, warm breath on her shoulders. She looked down at him; his eyes were closed. His tits were encased inside his Femboi Hooters tank top, and as she ran her fingers across his chest, his nipples stood immediately to attention. She teased his breasts through the tight polyester fabric, pinching one nipple, and then the other. She heard him moan.

For Brendan, this was the best sexual experience he'd ever had. Sure, the thrill and risk of hookups got his blood pumping, but this meant something. Jessica fucked him at a pace that glaciers could outrun, and he swore he could feel every vein, every ridge, every nub of her perfect trans cock as she slowly moved back and forth inside him.

His eyes opened, just for a second, and he stared at her face. He drowned in her dark irises as his clitty twitched, surrendering his femboi seed. Jessica nearly busted on the spot, but Brendan wasn't done. "Keep going," he pleaded. "Please keep going."

The feeling of her cock inside his pussy was like nothing else he'd ever experienced.

Jessica's sweat dripped onto Brendan's Hooters uniform. Through the blood-red tinge of her bedroom lamp, she saw each individual drop glisten on the fabric before sinking down and falling through, leaving a small patch of moisture where it once had been.

Brendan felt like he was floating. His whole body was tingling. He reached down to tug his clitty and came a second time. His cummies dribbled out of his clitty, pooling around the base of his abdomen. He opened his eyes wide, peering deep through the reddish darkness into Jessica's soul. "I wish you could make me pregnant," he said, reaching up to touch her breasts.

Jessica's cock exploded with the fire of a thousand suns. She flooded Brendan's pussy with the force of a category five hurricane, roaring so loud the neighbours surely must've heard.

Brendan felt warmth shooting into his digestive tract, and then, Jessica's spent weight collapsing onto his frame. He felt her trying to pull out; he grabbed her ass and held her cock inside him for a few more precious moments.

Eventually, Jessica's cock softened and fell out. She rolled onto her back, exhausted, and covered in sweat. Brendan's wrecked pussy began leaking onto her bedclothes. "I should... fuck, wait... hang on... wait here... don't move," he said, clenching tight as he tiptoed to the bathroom. He sat on the bowl and heard her load make splashdown. That was a lot of cum. He was new to this, but so far, he hadn't ever felt that full before.

He waited until the flood turned into a drizzle before wiping his pussy. He came back to Jessica's room and lay back down beside her. "Twins?" she asked.

"Huh?" Brendan's mind was working in slow motion. He'd forgotten what he'd said.

"Twins?" repeated Jessica. "Or maybe triplets?"

Brendan's mental mainframe slowly began whirring back into action, but he wasn't quite sure what to say in reply. He reached out to grab her hand and she immediately responded to his touch. They lay there, side by side in silence for a few moments, with their fingers intertwined.

Jessica was the first to speak. She rolled onto her side, facing him. She draped an arm across his abdomen. "I really like you," she whispered.

Brendan rolled over to face her. "I really like you too. I think we covered this at lunch."

Jessica wasn't sure what to say next. Her heart was on fire. "Yeah, but... I've never met anyone like you."

"I've never met anyone like you either."

"I don't want to get in the way of you being a slut." Jessica paused. "Wait. That came out all wrong. What I meant is..."

"It's OK," Brendan soothed. "I really like you, and I'd love to get to know you more, and to hang out with you and stuff, but... yeah... fuck..."

"Maybe let's just see how it goes?" volunteered Jessica.

"Yeah," agreed Brendan. "It's early days."

"What do you mean?"

"Huh?"

"You said 'it's early days.' Does that mean... like..."

"I really like you, Jessica."

Neither of them were ready to utter the word 'love.' Neither of them were prepared to roll the dice, flooding the room with its loaded magic and poisonous toxicity. Was it too soon? Was it that neither of them wanted to be the first to say it? Or was it a generic wariness about going to a place so laden with gravity after the best sex either of them had ever had? But there wasn't any doubt that something was different. They both knew it, even if neither of them could express it.

They kissed each other goodnight so deeply it was a minor miracle there was no round two. Jessica turned her lamp off, and darkness finally descended. Brendan rolled onto his side, facing away from her. His gigantic tits were still encased within his white Femboi Hooters tank top. He barely even noticed the constant volleys of gunfire clattering away outside, just a few short blocks away.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied. Brendan heard distant gunfire as he threw his tank top over his shoulders. He lay back down, his juicy rack freed for the night. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, he spoke. "Hey," he said groggily. "I need to tell you something."

"What's that?" she cooed.

"I don't like vaginas anymore."

Jessica kissed him sweetly on the cheek. She spooned him from behind, breathing sweetly into his shoulder.

*

Jessica woke up early on Wednesday morning. She would've loved nothing more than to stay in bed with her new friend all day, but Walmart's billionaire shareholders were callously indifferent to her emotional life. She had to go to work. She threw the covers back, sat on the edge of the bed, and sighed. Another day.

She made herself a cup of shitty instant coffee to jolt her system into action. She was in the bathroom, semi-dressed and brushing her teeth, when Brendan crept up behind her. "Hey," he said. He was wearing the change of clothes he'd brought with him.

She turned around to face him. Her toothbrush was wedged between her jaws. "Hey," she mumbled. She noticed the band t-shirt he was wearing. Crowded House. "We're gonna need to do something about your shitty ass taste in music. No wonder you dodged my question last night."

Brendan let her comment slip by. On second thought, he made a mental note to introduce Jessica to Split Enz. "Want a lift to work?" he offered. "I mean, it's on the way. I can drop you off, just so long as my car wasn't Molotov cocktailed during the night."

She spat her toothpaste into the bathroom sink. "Thanks, dude, I really appreciate that. Saves me half an hour or so. As an aside, I still can't believe you've got the day off."

"I told my supervisor I'd just been through a breakup, and he said take some time. I work for a place that cares about the emotional wellbeing of its staff. I know I'm lucky. There aren't many of those left in America. And when a business looks after its employees, it's employees look after the business."

Jessica whirled around to face him. "Let me poke a hole in your cheery theory, dude. The world ain't nice. It ain't cosy or cute or warm. Walmart has never given a fuck about any of its wageslaves, yet it's one of the biggest companies in the world. People are expendable." Jessica spat her toothpaste into the sink, watching it spiral anticlockwise down the drain. "I don't mind working there, but fuck me, it'd be so much better if they paid us more than poverty wages and it wasn't such a fucking minefield taking time off work." She wiped her mouth. "They make it sound so easy to claim personal time, and you think you've done the right thing only to find you haven't, because there's some fine print on page 263 of your contract you haven't read. I know someone who used the wrong type of leave to go to her mom's funeral and she lost her job."

"Fuck," Brendan winced. He wasn't sure what else to say to her. He was beginning to understand how tough Jessica's life had been. Maybe she said she 'didn't mind working at Walmart' because she was grateful just to have a job. He remembered her saying before that all the money she'd ever saved had gone on surgery and hormones.

"Want something to eat?" she offered. "I can make you a cup of joe, and you're welcome to anything edible you score in the refrigerator or cupboard."

"Coffee would be good," Brendan replied. "Thanks."

Jessica padded to the kitchen. She took one last look at his Crowded House tee. She shook her head in dismay. Fuck that shit.

Brendan finished his brew, grabbed his keys and his bag, and followed Jessica down to the street. He watched her ass as he walked behind her. He remembered checking her curves out yesterday while she was wearing her Walmart uniform, but it all looked so much hotter in a pair of tight denim jeans. She jumped into the passenger seat as he climbed behind the wheel. He wondered if she liked her ass played with.

"Wanna hang out again after work?" she asked. Surely he had a busy life, and she totally expected him to say no.

"Yeah, OK," he beamed. "Sounds good." He piloted his wheels out onto the road. "By the way, I've never seen you in jeans before."

Jessica wasn't sure where he was going with this line of questioning.

"Has anyone ever told you you've got a hot ass?"

Jessica blushed. "No, but then again, I don't get many compliments." She stared forward, watching the traffic, not thinking.

They drove in silence for a few moments. "Hey, so I'm back in the office tomorrow morning," Brendan said, "but I've got a job interview coming up on Friday afternoon." He waited a beat. "At Hooters."

Jessica's neck turned so fast she could've put in a claim for whiplash. "As a waitress?"

"Yeah," grinned Brendan. "I put in an application last Saturday night. I saw an ad for Hooters Girls in a magazine. They got back to me fast. I don't know whether that's because they liked my application, or because they're short-staffed."

Jessica coughed a little. "Wait, so are you gonna quit your day job?"

"No," Brendan clarified. "If I'm successful, this'll be my second job. I'm not really doing this for the money. I guess I'm just curious to see what happens. But hey, can you believe the wage is like $3 per hour?"

"So you need to earn tips, is that it? Tips are your wage?"

Brendan nodded, concentrating on the road.

Jessica whistled. "You're gonna be a millionaire by Christmas."

Brendan smiled. "Hope so," he replied. "Truth is, I just wanna flirt with horny guys."

Jessica cleared her throat. "Do Hooters know you're really a boy?"

"The form didn't even ask for gender. It kind of assumes that anyone applying to be a Hooters Girl owns a cunt."

"What will you say if they ask?"

Brendan changed lanes. "I don't know. I guess I'll have to see how it goes. I'm not trying to prove a political point about gender equality; for me, this is just about having some fun. The world won't end if they say no, but fuck, there's no harm in trying, right?"

"So you're gonna dress fem for the interview?" Jessica queried.

"Fuck, good point. Can I borrow some of your clothes? I can't show up wearing my Femboi Hooters outfit."

Jessica boned up a little inside her faded denim. "I'm gonna dress you up real fuckin' good," she grinned.

Brendan's car pulled up at Walmart front entrance. "I can pick you up again tonight if you like."

"I'll be done at half past five," she smiled.

"See you then," he grinned. He drove home, climbed into bed, and despite the strong coffee Jessica had made for him earlier, he fell into a light sleep.