PainLove - Bk. 01 - Ch. 19-25

Chapter 19

Kim and Helena dressed like Rob in stockings, suspender belts, then their nightgowns. Together they headed to the dining room.

"I'll get something for us to eat. Rob, can you open a bottle of wine? I have some in the kitchen." Kim gestured toward the door.

As soon as Rob had followed her into the kitchen, Kim turned to him. "I saw you look to Helena as we talked. Don't worry, she isn't offended by what I say. She and I have been lovers for a long time. Perhaps we always will be. You didn't complicate things; I have her permission to fuck you whenever you and I want. She only requires us to be open about it. We won't have any secrets."

Rob wasn't too surprised by her confession, but he felt a pang of sorrow. It was a bit like Jenny, his ex-wife. He'd known she was bisexual, but now her interest in women was connected, in his mind at least, to his awful experience at Marion's house. Now he had Helena and Kim confirming they were lovers. Helena had him believing he was the one and only to her, in this moment he learned he was just her only male lover. The sense that Jenny had betrayed him reappeared. Helena had given him no reason to think she had lesbian tendencies. What's more, Helena had listened for hours as he spoke of his relationship with Jenny.

Was he making the same mistake again? The only difference was Helena and Kim were being open with him, while Jenny had never mentioned her lovers. He realized this circle of theirs had included sexual activity.

Rob chose a light-bodied red wine and opened it. He gathered three wineglasses and the bottle, put them on a tray. Kim added to the tray a plate with some cheese and bread and a few knives. He carried everything into the living room. There, Helena had some candles burning. With the curtains closed and the central heating on, the atmosphere was warmly intimate.

Helena spoke to him in a quiet voice. "I heard what Kim said to you. It's the absolute truth. We are lovers, we have been for years; I imagine you'd already surmised as much. We're both bisexual, both of us hurt by men in the past. When we saw you, we both realized we still like men, but they must not be the usual manly men. You have proven to be what we need, many times over.

"Carmen and Olga have had the same sort of experience with men, Olga suffered the worst, her ex beat her horribly, she's still recovering. We were all surprised you could have brought her her to an orgasm. We thought she might not let you."

"And Carmen? Is she also a lesbian?"

"We're bisexual, Rob, there is a difference. Carmen has been seriously let down a few times. Even after an engagement. That changes a woman. She was wounded like you, mentally. In fact, all of us are wounded one way or another."

"What about you?" Rob didn't really want to know. The more he learned the more disappointment he felt. Why had Helena not told him she was in a serious, long-term relation with Kim?

"You know my parents left me money, that's all my boyfriends seemed to care about. The moment I told a suitor there would be a prenuptial agreement, they quickly faded away. You didn't realize how wealthy I was until you saw the house, even then you couldn't believe it. You care about me, you actually don't want to deal with my money." She sighed. "Just as I don't want to deal with my money. You actually expected to take care of me, refusing to give up your job. You showed me your love was real. Even though you too had been hurt so much, still you gave your heart to me. And I already had fallen in love before you knew me. I remember telling you I had a private detective make inquiries. I had photos of you. Not for you, for myself: I knew the party at Marion's would be intimate and I wanted to make sure no harm would come to me.

"Then I met you in person. I was completely lost. I saw your unselfish behavior, you were there to please your wife and friends, with no hesitation whatsoever. You had so much love in you and yet you also seemed fragile in your French maid uniform. I wanted to take you to my home, right then. I thought I was reading Jenny correctly and I know Marion, her warning signals were plain. I was certain you were on you way to being hurt. And that's exactly what happened."

"Why didn't you rescue me, give me a clearer warning?"

"Would you have believed me? You had to learn yourself. But now I have you: I'll give you anything, everything, just stay with me the rest of your life. I couldn't bear to live without you." Helena's soft voice was in contrast to the passion of the words.

Rob was convinced, he gave Helen a kiss. "I never knew a relationship could be like this. Still, I'm not your only love."

Helena's reply was circumspect. "No, you aren't, but you're the only man I can love. You are my soul mate and you shall be my husband."

He took her in his arms. Helena had been honest to him after all, the only thing that hadn't been clear was that her circle were also her lovers. He imagined she didn't wish to hurt his feelings.

Kim coughed. "Lovebirds, I'm here."

Rob turned to her. "And I can never forget what you have done for me."

"Rob, I've already asked Kim to come and live with us, just like Jenny and Marion were planning, but Kim thinks also three is a crowd."

Kim shook her head. "I have a business here, not just any business. This town depends on me, I'm their only doctor."

"So visit when it suits you. Helena, if you're in need of a real female lover, you and Kim just do what you want to do, I understand completely."

"No," Helena said, "You are my greatest love. I'd prefer Kim and I make love with you present. I won't do anything without you."

Kim completely agreed. "Rob, don't be so amenable. The truth is, I'd want you to participate with us. Once you can't perform anymore, if we want to go on, we can give you a show. But you must be there. But Rob, one condition, you always must be dressed for the occasion. I mean I want you to in sexy lingerie, just as Helena and I will be."

Rob decided to be provocative. "So when you and Helena fuck and I haven't any life left in my dick, I must wear sexy clothing. Ah, I get it, you and Helena want to be served by a maid, suitably dressed."

Helena took him at his word. "Yes, Rob, that would be very nice. You see, Kim, how lucky I am with him. A friend and lover, soul mate, but also a servant and a sex toy."

Kim made a face. "I was already jealous, now it's getting worse."

Helena saw the mixed emotions on her friends face. "Oh, my dear, we won't neglect you. Just come and visit us as often as your practice lets you. You know how special you are to me." She winked. "I would love to play some games with you."

Kim' face brightened. "What kind of games are you referring to?"

"If Rob was a naughty girl, she would deserve a spanking. You're naughty Kim, now I think of it, more consistently naught than Roberta. You are a slut and must know your place. Yes, next time when I give Rob a spanking, I'll invite you."

"Mmm, I'm getting wet again." Kim leered. "I can't wait to be spanked."

"Could it be that something is burning in the kitchen?" Rob said. He wanted to change the subject. He had heard quite enough of this conversation and hurried towards the kitchen. Kim followed, opened the oven and retrieved the pie she'd put in to warm. She put the pie, plates and utensils on a tray. Rob carried the tray into the living room and served a simple meal.

Chapter 20

As they ate, Rob raised a question. "Kim, earlier you said I'm a typical sub. What makes you say it?"

"What, isn't it obvious?"

"I can't see myself from outside very well. Why don't you humor me?"

Kim thought for a minute. It struck Rob she had casually stated her impression of him but now it took some effort to put together a basis behind her conclusion.

"Well, look at how much time you spend giving oral sex to women." She turned to Helena with a laugh then turned back to Rob. "In fact, on one memorable occasion a lot of time on each of several women."

"That makes me submissive? You've never read Freud's theory of development, heard about oral people?"

"Well, you crossdress and you're quite open about it."

"Only because you've seen me in very private settings. Most crossdressers are just plain heterosexuals, I expect you know that. Further, right in with the vast majority, I don't go out in public and I never will."

"Well, you go over the bench for a paddling pretty willingly."

"I'm submissive just because I help women get turned on by hitting me? I put up with the pain because right afterward I get hot, hot sex with a woman who has relaxed her inhibitions. The day that isn't true is the end of any games for me." He paused, reflecting. "You know, I think by the time that weekend at Marion's began I already knew it wasn't going to work out; she had already proposed I should be a live-in slave when I was only doing each event for the reward. For ten years with Jenny before we got involved with Marion, it was just one of a variety of things we did to get each other turned on. The odd thing is, Jenny may claim to be a lesbian, but the sex with her was great. Marion, on the other hand, wanted a boy-toy, a sex-slave. I was never going to be reduced to that."

Rob could see Helena was enjoying watching Kim's discomfort at having her preconceptions deconstructed. It struck him Helena didn't recognize he was saying all this for her benefit. It was time for her to face a similar question herself. "Helena, why did you promise to Kim she could have sex with me whenever she wanted?"

"When did I say that?"

"I don't know, I only just found out tonight. Kim, didn't you say it to me, just an hour ago in the kitchen?"

Reluctantly, Kim nodded. Rob could see Helena was flustered, he could see by her reaction she'd made the promise.

"Helena, not two minutes ago you called me a servant and a sex toy. Let me tell you something: I am not a sex toy. I'll happily be your partner, I'll happily include others in sex with you, but the minute you just give me to a friend we are through. I am not a slave, not even a sex slave. Most especially I am not a sex toy you can pass around amongst to your friends. I decide who I have sex with, you do not decide for me.

"I won't do anything without your knowledge and consent. I won't. In contrast, you've already put me into something without my knowledge and consent. You most certainly cannot commit me to something I don't even know about."

He raised a hand for emphasis. "I will not honor a commitment to be there for your circle in two weeks. I'm sorry I must be so blunt to you about this, but tonight I've heard things, said quite casually, that I cannot not let pass unchallenged." He stood, walked to Helena, held out his hands to her. She put down her plate and took his hands. He raised her to her feet and put his arms around her.

"If you aren't foremost in this relationship, if you aren't the sole reason for this relationship, then it isn't a relationship I want. No one else is important to me, no one else gets to have me except for rare circumstances," he murmured in her ear as he held her close.

When they separated, she had tears in her eyes. "Rob, you gave me quite a scare when you started in on this, but you just said the sweetest thing to me. I am reminded how honest you are, the commitment you are making to me. I see I must do better myself, if I want to keep up with you, if I want to keep you."

They held each other for a long hug, then Rob helped Helena return to her seat.

"Well, there is more," Rob continued. "You've been asking me for months to leave my job in Oxford. I gave notice this week."

"Finally, you're giving up your job."

"Not quite. They weren't happy to see me go. To keep me, they offered a different sort of position. I'll be doing consulting, project work. I'll set my own hours, I should be able to work anywhere. I'll have a long conversation on the phone a few times a week. Once in a while it will be necessary for me to go spend a day or two in an exotic location, York or Coventry or the like."

"Can you move in with me right away, sell your Oxford place?"

"I have agreed to thirty days for my transition out; I must be in Oxford most of the coming month. They must find my replacement. Ideally I'll introduce the replacement to the most important people, give them all a smooth transition."

"You couldn't just quit?"

Rob tilted his head, surprised. "That wouldn't be professional."

Rob poured more wine, the atmosphere lightened. As they sipped and chatted, relaxing after the meal, Rob could see Helena looking at him frequently, the love she felt plain on her face. Finally, Helen put down her glass and stood. "Enough with this chit-chat, Rob, I've been thinking the whole evening about your dick and Kim's cunt. Right now I want to be filled by dick and eat pussy. Let's go upstairs."

Rob chuckled to himself when he heard Helena speak like that. She could be really horny and when that happened she wanted just one thing: his prick inside her. He didn't mind at all. In fact, as they were talking and eating, all three in just their lingerie, the talk sometimes made Rob get hard. His dick relaxed again; but each time he saw Helena or Kim provocatively widen their legs for him, giving him a good view to get him hard again.

The ladies were going up the stair. He put out the candles, got the bottle of wine and took a sip, straight from the bottle. When he arrived in the bedroom, he asked, "Anyone else want a sip of wine? I didn't bring the glasses with me."

Helena and Kim gave him no answer. Their nightgowns had been dropped to the floor. They sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for him. Their legs were spread as they fully exposed themselves to him. With lights on, Rob could admire Kim's nipple piercings; the gold rings glinted as she moved on the bed, inviting him to play with them.

He admired both of their bodies; Kim was younger than Helena, her breasts smaller and her waist more slender. But Helena could look wild, quite an animal in these situations. Her hair was a little out of order, the very image of "bedhead." To people who didn't know her, she was cool and reserved. To her social friends she maintained a certain detachment and only a privileged few knew how she could change into a furious sex animal, who wanted every hole filled at the same time and as often as she could.

As Rob and the very few within her circle knew, Helena was in fact insatiable.

It had all to do with her youth: her parents were very rich; she was the only heir of their family fortune. In public she always had to be the perfect lady. She had little freedom to explore sexually like other young women in modern times. So many potential lovers had been scared off by lawyers and private detectives, others she had scared off herself after the detectives reported back to her.

The only one who came through the investigation with no warning signals, the first in twenty-some years of investigating, was Rob. He wanted her for who she was and not the money that came with her. Helena attraction to Rob had initially been his loyalty. Being there, as a friend, lover and sparring-partner, she knew she might not be alone anymore. She had ideas for what else he might be for her, but his loyalty was essential, the foundation of their relationship.

She had begun pressing him to set a date for a marriage, persistently but gently. He had been so hurt emotionally, she reasoned, he should have put up little resistance to her advances. But Rob had been steadfast in wanting to wait, to get to know each other far better. Helena now wanted to have sex with him as much as possible. In part she wanted to compensate for all the years she couldn't find a boyfriend she could trust. In part because she was so very alone and needed an arm around her shoulder. She also wanted to seduce him into agreeing to a marriage.

As for sharing him sometimes with her intimate friends, Helena didn't have a problem with that; she benefited from it herself. Rob could do a lot, but not fill three holes by himself. Helena loved to eat pussy, especially with a dildo in her arse and Rob's dick in her cunt. She shivered with anticipation.

"Rob, please will you join us, lie down on the bed, forget the wine and let's make love. I need you and so does Kim," she whispered enticingly.

Rob lay down between two women, Helena immediately mounted him, grabbing his cock and guiding him inside her. At the same time Kim swung her leg over him, facing toward Helena, lowering her cunt to his mouth.

Helena reached out both hands to take Kim's nipple ring between her fingers, pulling gently. In a soft, slow cadence she rode Rob's cock; she didn't want him to come too quickly. They had made love often enough she knew exactly how to postpone his climax to get more for herself.

Kim just wanted to be eaten and Rob did his best to satisfy her. He circled his tongue around her clit. He probed Kim with a finger, another finger teasing her arse. His other hand caressed Helena's leg.

All that could be heard were moans, groans and cries of pleasure. Kim came first. Her nipples were extremely sensitive with the attached rings. The occasional tug at clit-ring from Rob or Helena and Rob's tongue turning and pushing on her clit, gave her so much pleasure she rocked and trembled over her whole body.

Rob and Helena came almost together, their level of intimacy made it common for them to climax together.

With a sigh Helena laid herself next to Rob.

Kim moved over to bend down to Helena's cunt. She licked Rob's and Helena's juices out of her. She smiled to Rob. "I'm a pervert, I know, but I love the taste of cum."

She laid herself next to Rob and started fondling with his dick.

"It will take some time to get ready again," Rob sighed, but what has said wasn't completely accurate, his dick started to become firm again.

"Please, give me some time to recover," he begged, amused.

Kim pretended not to hear him and took him in her mouth.

When she had Rob fully erect again, Kim swung over him, slowly sliding her moist cunt down over his throbbing dick. She went up and down, setting the rate, sometimes slow and sometimes fast. All Rob had to do was enjoying the ride. Helena climbed on, settling over his mouth. Rob laid back and pushed his tongue inside her and started licking with fast and firm strokes. He used his hand to spread her lips. Her clit was stiff so he ran his tongue across it, then he fully attacked her clit. Back and forth, side to side, quick, slow, quick. He sucked gently at her clit, keeping his tongue moving. He could feel Kim tightening around his dick, giving him a very pleasant squeeze. Helena and Kim both moaned; all three were panting heavily. Then the release came: Helena let out a squeal and pushed her cunt against his nose, grabbing him by the hair. Kim's cunt muscles clamped down hard as she came. Helena's cunt juices flowed over Rob's cheeks and chin. He tried to lick her clean, but couldn't reach her very well. Finally he gave up and enjoyed this moment: two lovely ladies straddling his body.

They climbed off him and slid down the bed to lie beside him.

"You didn't come, Rob?" Helena asked.

"No, but I didn't expect to."

As promised they all slept in their stockings and nightgowns, Rob in the middle. After all that activity it didn't take him long to fell asleep, between the two women he loved most.

After breakfast Sunday morning, Helena and Rob left Kim. Kim was saddened by their departure. Rob held Kim a time in his arms.

"I can't let you go, it's so hard, now that I've felt what it could be between the three of us." Kim sniffled a bit.

"Dearest, why don't you come to our house this evening?" Helena asked.

Kim refused again, she had her practice and responsibilities starting early Monday. But she said she would visit soon.

Chapter 21

After his commitment to his old job in the Oxford office ended in December, Rob made a compromise with himself. He moved to live with Helena, but he told her he would not sell his place in Oxford. "Out of the question," he told her. "I'm going to clean it up and rent it. There is a steady supply of good tenants in a university town."

He arrange a table in the corner of Helena's library as his workspace. When he had a call to make, he used his mobile. He scheduled most of his phone conversations for the morning hours, when Helena usually had no need for the library. It didn't take much exploring to find many disused rooms in the upper floors, a few times he went up to take call sitting in a bare room with a dusty table. He worked quite a lot, but with his flexibility Helena hardly noticed how much time he put in. Working these projects for his former employer gave him ideas of how he could do the same kinds of projects for others.

He wanted his own room, with his own wardrobe, but they agreed to sleep together every night. Helena was tickled to see the silky nightgowns and pajamas he wore. He favored soft nylon with lace on the bodice, on the hem, on the sleeves. One night he wore silk pajamas, printed in a profusion of pink, lavender and yellow flowers with green leaves. She smiled at how feminine the pajamas looked, but once the light was off she loved the sensuous luxury of cuddling with him as he was wearing real silk.

"A thrift shop find," he explained. "I got these pajamas for a song. Sometimes I think crossdressers are the reasons thrift shops can keep the lights on."

"There shall be more silk in your future. I'll make a list of excuses to give you gifts."

On a Tuesday evening in mid-January, just a few days after moving in to live with her, Rob took Helena out for dinner at a restaurant in Bedford, not far from Helena's house but at enough distance they weren't likely to bump into people who knew her. He had something he wanted to discuss.

He had finished his salad, Helena was finishing hers, the main course had not been delivered to the table. It was time to talk. "I imagine we're on our way toward getting married, aren't we?"

Helena carefully put her fork down. "Are you proposing to me tonight?"

"No, this is more like finding out what must done before I'm allowed to propose."

Helena looked puzzled.

"Dear, after all your care to screen other suitors your solicitor will be quite unhappy with you. You have a fortune to protect, even from the man you love. Perhaps especially from the man you love."

"Ah! I was getting a different idea. Yes, I'll call my solicitor, I'm sure there will be painfully long documents to sign."

"Just tell your solicitor I read before I sign, every word. If the document is long I'll need time to read it."

"I never read things before I sign."

"You pay a solicitor to read them for you."

"I think it's three solicitors."

They laughed. He poured more wine for her, they resumed eating. Their conversation went back to lighter topics.

Over coffee she asked why he took her away from the house to have the conversation.

"Because your personal plans are no one else's business. I got you out of the house because it's not easy to speak with you privately in your house. That's the reason I've decided we're going to go out once a week, just the two of us, looking for restaurants we love."

Helena nodded. She hesitated before asking another question. "What if there are other things to be done? Before we announce an engagement."

"What, social things? It's not like I can ask your parents' blessing."

"Social things, yes. But I think it would be good for my entire circle to give you their blessing. I had a chat with Marion about this, just a day or two ago, we have a little ceremony in mind. I think you'll like it." Rob knew Marion and Helena talked occasionally, Marion had been a member of Helena's circle. He didn't object, it didn't involve him.

"What kind of ceremony?"

"One in a playroom."

"Hmm." Rob was not so sure about this. He had a difficult enough time when it was Helen and one friend in bed with them. His first reaction was something in the playroom, with all of them at once, would get quickly out of hand. "Okay, but there is one condition you must accept."

"What is it?"

"Marion is not there, taking charge. The last time I was surrounded by women, it was in Marion's playroom. The woman who was supposed to keep things under control instead took the lead in getting out of hand. You know how it turned out for me and I imagine the guests enjoyed it less than they expected.

"I must have your commitment you won't get so involved in the event that you stop watching out to protect me from the other women. Someone might be hurt; don't let it be me."

"You have my commitment. We plan to have a binding ceremony, the circle recognizing, celebrating a bride-to-be. It will be Saturday next." Rob was reminded of Marion's party, scheduled before she was sure he'd be at her house.

Helena put her hand over his. "You know what people say: when you're thrown off a horse, you must get back on a horse again to overcome your fear. And that is exactly what I have in mind."

"Ah, I believe you've lost me completely. I have no idea what you're getting at."

"You don't need to know more, you will find out Saturday."

Rob spent a moment in silence before responding. "As you wish, my dear. As long as you remember your commitment."

When Saturday morning, came, Rob woke to find Helena had already left the bedroom. Going downstairs, he found Helena at the breakfast table. Carmen, Olga and Kim sat with her, sipping coffee. He hadn't seen Carmen or Olga since the dreadful weekend at Marion's' house.

"Rob, today is a big day for you," Carmen said. "I shall help you become a pretty bride." The women laughed.

To their surprise, Rob joined the laughter. He explained. "If you were any other women, I might have been awfully ashamed, but you all have seen me at my most vulnerable. I'll very much appreciate your help, Carmen and ladies, I hope to show myself to you at my feminine best today. This should be fun."

"Maybe I can hire you afterwards as a French maid? I'd like that." Olga acted as though she was joking, but also suggesting she would like the opportunity.

Helena quickly intervened. "Before this gets all out of hand, let's first do our ceremony. After today's activities we'll consider how we can have more fun together in the future."

The women began chatting about what the future might hold. Rob, reminded of Marion's house by the faces before him, thought back. He had enjoyed much of the party that day, giving pleasure to these women. He'd been in a submissive role, but had exercised power over them. With each of them he'd given pleasure, even more than expected, after their first orgasm giving them a second or even more. He smiled to himself and looked with great tenderness to these sweet ladies. He knew they all cared for him, far more than just normal friends. He got a warm glow and was surprised to feel blood making his dick more firm.

Rob finished his tea and toast quickly, then rose. "I'm going to take a shower."

Carmen touched his arm. "Rob, I'm coming with you. We have a lot to do."

Rob expected to walk to the main bedroom, where he and Helena spend the night, but Carmen led him to a spare bedroom. "I have everything ready for you in here."

In the bedroom, he saw a beautiful bridal gown laid out on the bed. He wanted to pick up, but Carmen stopped him. "Patience. You'll wear it today, first you must prepare. Let's get you into the shower first, I'll go with you."

Bemused, Rob followed Carmen to the bathroom, stepping with her into the shower. He saw she, too kept her pubic hair shaved bare. His dick began to rise, he couldn't help it.

Carmen laughed when she saw his reaction to her. "You must wait until this afternoon before you may use it. We have a private party planned, just us five girls together."

"Okay, first we must be rid of your body hair," Carmen said, "I'll use a razor now for the longer hairs, then I have a special lotion, after a few minutes you can shower it off."

She covered his crotch with lather and started to shave his pubic hair. Rob kept it trimmed short, now he became complete hairless. She shaved his legs, she even turned him around and shaved his bum. Then he stepped out of the shower spray, Carmen applied the depilatory lotion. He waited as Carmen washed her own hair. After five minutes she guided him under the stream of the shower and rinsed him, her hand running softly around his crotch to guide the water to miss no spot when rinsing. He felt his smooth skin and liked it.

"Just a temporary solution, this, but for today it will be sufficient. If we decide to get rid of your hair permanently, it will be a long treatment, but the results are quite nice."

After rinsing they turned off the shower, stepped out and dried on Helena's soft, thick towels.

Carmen handed him a satin robe and put one on herself. She led him back to the spare room. "Take a seat here." She pointed to the chair at the table with her opened case of cosmetics and brushes. "I won't overdo this, I just want to accentuate your feminine side; just a shadow around your eyes, better eyebrows and such. Some powder blush on your cheeks, I think, to give you a bit of color. I'll color your lips with rouge, the color they used in the forties. That's the only thing I'll really accentuate and this lipstick won't rub off, not matter what tasks we give you." She proceeded expertly with her work.

When finished, she stepped back to look him over. "Hmm, what about false eyelashes. I have some very subtle ones with me, not very long, but just to accentuate your beautiful eyes. Yes, they'll suit you well."

Rob looked in the mirror. A strange reflection met him in the mirror. His face had changed, from a man to... he could not describe it, not male nor female but a bit in between. He had been made up before, but it never felt good, he didn't fool even himself into enjoying an illusion. His face was quite male and nothing would ever change that. What Carmen did was different; he was no female, he was no caricature of a woman, he was the female version of himself. He liked what he saw.

"You've done a great job on me, I've never seen myself this way."

"Most men who cross dress, the ones who use make-up, they can exaggerate too much. I hate going to a dance club and seeing a couple of transvestites, theatrically painted faces and fetish clothing. Those men don't want to see a trace of their male being, but the truth is you never can fully hide it. But you can easily bring out the softer side of a man, what I'm working toward with you. I think I can be proud of my work and of course I'm proud of you, Rob." Carmen smiled and gave him a kiss.

"I'll never forget what you did for me that afternoon at Marion's. Helena says you can do the same for me again, with the condition she is present. I think it's a fine idea, I don't want to be the cause of trouble."

Rob agreed. "Nor I."

Carmen applied false nails on him, then bright pink nail vanish. When it dried, he was ready.

"Don't ruin your stockings with these long nails Rob," Carmen warned him, "Let's finish you."

She handed him a white thong of satin and lace to put on, then had him pull up white stockings. She helped him into a white satin corset, then helped him attach the suspenders to his stockings.

Carmen noticed he was getting hard, his enlarged head prominent against the satin. "Naughty! I've been told to put ice on you if necessary."

She stood behind Rob and fastened a white, strapless bra on him. She adjusted his chest so the stiff band and underwires pressed his flesh forward, giving just a hint which might be considered breasts. The thin, satiny cups had stretch to them and fit him well. A short satin and lace camisole followed, then she helped him into a white petticoat. The upper part of the petticoat, in satin, came to his knees, hemmed with a wide frill of lace falling well down his shin.

"And now for your dress. Stand up love, arms above your head, bend toward me."

Carmen carefully slid the bridal gown over his head, guided his arms through the half sleeves, then guided him to stand upright and gently eased the dress down to rest on his shoulders.

As Carmen zipped his dress, Rob lowered his arms and looked in the mirror, amazed. He saw a bride with just a slight resemblance to his male himself. The dress was satin, with a lot of lace over the shoulders, down the sleeves and repeated on the hem. The dress ended just above his ankles.

"Ah! I almost forgot! I have a wig for this occasion." A blonde wig came out of a dresser drawer and went on his head. The inner cap was quite sticky, it felt like some sort of rubber, it stayed firmly in place where it had been placed on his head. It could easily be removed; Carmen repositioned it after she'd stepped back to check the fit. The wig felt as if it was his own hair, in fact it was made from human hair. Blonde bangs fell to his eyes, on the sides it covered his ears, falling to his jaw. At his shoulders, the hair ended in a slight curl outward.

The bride's veil followed, half long, its sheer silk with lace edging draped over his shoulders. "You can wear this to cover your face if you wish, Rob, but I think it will be so much nicer to just let it flow over your shoulders, as you have it now, giving us all have a good look at your face. we'll take a few pictures of you and Helena, to remember this occasion." She smiled, giving him a soft kiss on his cheek. "You do look lovely." She picked up a small diadem and fastened it in the front of his hair, holding the veil in place.

Carmen set four inch high heeled white pumps on the floor before him. "I know you can walk in these heels, you might even be more comfortable in them than I'd be."

Carmen steadied Rob as he stepped into the heels. He stood up, turning to check his image in the mirror. Everything looked good.

Rob gave Carmen and smile. "I think I'm ready."

"One more thing." Scissors in hand, she lifted his skirts. He felt cold metal against his back, then heard a snip, then a second as the sensation of wearing the thong disappeared. Moving her hand to his waist in front, she pulled the thong out and tossed it aside. "You won't need this further. In fact, Helena will want access to you during the ceremony."

"Now, I believe you're ready. Wait here, I must go to my room and dress myself now." She helped him sit on the chair to wait, smoothing his long skirt and reminding him to sit only on the front part of the chair.

Chapter 22

After about 20 minutes there was a tap on the door. Rob stood as Kim opened the door and let herself in.

She looked marvelous; her face was beautifully made up, red lips, smoky eye shadow and curved eyebrows. Long earrings of fine silver chains draped to her neck. She was dressed in a simple black satin skirt with an asymmetric hem well above the knee in front and down to her calves in back. Her top consisted of a black satin corset with shoulder straps; and a black satin choker around her neck.

"You look stunning," Rob complimented Kim. "But you remind me, dressed like this, of another occasion where you were also present."

"Dear Rob, we're interested only in today's event. It will not be at all the same. Come with me please."

Kim offered her arm to support Rob as they slowly descended the wide main stair of Helena's house. She led him back down the hall to the door on the basement stair.

Rob was suddenly more cautious and resisted her guiding hand. He'd never been in Helena's basement and had no idea what was down there. "Not in the basement, Kim. I've had quite enough of basements."

Kim gave him a gentle smile. "Yes, we have a little place set up for play, I am taking you to it. Down there, you will be surrounded by people you know well, people who love you. People you can trust. Nothing bad will happen today, you must believe me."

Kim opened the door. Rob's worries were reduced when he could hear the music of a wedding march. That wasn't the music they'd play for a scene. With Kim's assistance he carefully descended the steps, holding his skirt up with one hand. He let the skirt fall again as he entered the basement.

The room was nearly empty, only a few cupboards visible against the wall at the far end. Velvet curtains defined a space in the center. Lanterns sitting on the floor gave him a path of soft yellow light to the curtained area. Beyond the curtains, Rob saw the concrete floor was covered with a thick oriental carpet. In the center of the carpet was a large mattress, covered with black satin sheets. A table stood near the mattress, lumps under the cloth covering it showing it covered more than the table.

Beside the mattress Helena stood, dressed in a long pink dress, a ball gown from a hundred years ago, full of lace and ruffles. Olga and Carmen, dressed similarly to Kim, stood beside Helena, watching his arrival.

As soon as he appeared, Helena took a step forward with a gentle smile, extending her hand. "Come to me Rob."

As soon as he stepped onto the carpet, Helena leaned in to kiss him. The second kiss lasted longer, her tongue teasing his lips until he opened his mouth to admit her. Thinking about these beautiful, sexy women and the event, whatever it was to be, had Rob's dick enlarging.

The three women, standing around Rob and Helena, were looking at him with sober, serious expressions. It seemed to Rob they were examining his face, watching for his reaction. He'd always understood this was a circle of friends, but it was clear their friendship went far deeper than an ordinary friendship. This wasn't just a casual event, suddenly he had the impression this was a test he must pass.

Helena let go of him, adjusted his veil, then took both his hands in hers. "I shall ask you a few questions. You answer with yes or no. These questions are about our love-making, nothing else. We must make things clear between us. I ask you to trust me, dear Rob, I am no Marion, I am no Jenny; I only want the best for you, the best for us."

The way she spoke reminded Rob of Marion, but he pushed the thought aside. "Helena, I'll be completely honest with you. You must be prepared for an answer you do not like, I might say no to something."

There was a hint of a smile on Helena's face. "Rob, I will value honest answers, even if you say no.

"Rob, you have unpleasant memories, a trauma, I completely understand. Time will heal. But, dearest, I am impatient, we've other options to deal with your issue. For this reason we've prepared this little ceremony. You have fallen off a horse. You will ride again happily much earlier if I put you back on it, instead of waiting for you to mount of your own accord. Rather than your fear holding you back, my love will guide you forward. Do you follow me?"

"I think I do, Helena."

"Then we shall begin." She paused, her eyes holding his. "Will you fuck me when I ask you, Rob?"

"Yes."

"If I want to fuck you, will you let me?"

"Yes."

"Will you fuck my friends, these ladies now present, when I ask you, Rob?"

There was an instant of hesitation as he decided to keep his answer to this one simple. "Yes."

"If I demand my friends, these ladies now present, can fuck you, Rob, will you obey?"

His eyes went down as he thought for a few seconds then returned to hers. She could see his response was sincere. "Not very often." That one word, "obey," had given him the impulse to simply say no but he'd stopped himself before saying it. He didn't want his relationship with Helena to be about obeying. He found a way to not spoil the spirit of the event, but the women all noticed the pause as he found his answer.

Helena stepped forward, her kiss tender. "Thank you for your honest answers." She kissed him again, then turned him to stand beside her, facing the other ladies. Carmen, Olga and Kim, in turn, kissed Helena, then kissed Rob, each thanking him for his answers.

"So, Rob, you are welcome as a new member of our friends group, our circle. I shall say more later, but for now I'll state the obvious: Carmen, Olga, Kim and I are intimate friends and now you, too, are a member of our little circle."

Her voice turned firm. "Rob, it's now time to get you back on that horse. Go to the middle of the mattress, get down on your hands and knees."

With some reluctance Rob took the position asked of him. He could imagine what was to come, he was apprehensive. Yet, because of the way they were treating him, it seemed more an act of love than of dominance.

Carmen pulled up the skirts of his bridal gown. The skirt was so long it came up over his head, his face was completely covered. His petticoat was pushed up as well, he could see nothing outside his tent of satin and lace.

Framed by corset, suspenders and stockings, his bum was fully exposed. He could feel cool air.

Had Rob been able to see Helena as Carmen helped her slip her dress off, he would have noticed another similarity to how he had seen Marion more than once. She wore thigh-high boots of impossibly shiny PVC, a PVC waist-cincher and a PVC cupless bra. The cloth was taken from the table to reveal four dildos on harnesses, identical to the dildos Marion had her guests use on him. Helena attached a strap-on and started lubricating it. Kim, Olga and Carmen removed their skirts then fastened on their strap-ons.

Rob saw none of this. He could see nothing, but he could hear the rustle of clothes and the women murmuring, a quiet giggle. It seemed to him it was taking a long time. He wondered what the women were doing.

After movement on the mattress, he felt a lubricated fingertip land precisely on his arse, then slowly penetrate him. The finger moved slowly in and out a few times, then withdrew until just touching his opening. More cool lube was dispensed on his arse. The finger became two fingers penetrating him. He moaned.

Rob heard Helena's voice. "Yes, darling, I thought you would like this. You've played this game before, and we shall continue these games in the future. I'm sure you understand, dear, this is the horse you must get back on. I shall be first, my dear, then the others."

He felt the mattress shift slightly. The head of a dildo took the place of her fingers. Slowly her strap-on intruded. She knew he could take it. She didn't rush it but she didn't take much time letting him get used to the dildo either. Soon she was seriously ass-fucking him. Rob began moaning.

Helena eased her dildo out of him. "Next."

Carmen, Olga and Kim, each took their turn. They said nothing, Rob didn't know who was who. Each was like Helena, gentle but still forceful.

Rob didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He felt a bit humiliated, four women taking him like this. On the other hand, according to Helena, it was meant to help him let go of his memory of the gang-bang pegging he'd experienced in Marion's basement. Rob wondered if Helena knew it had been his suggestion. The only thing wrong with that experience had been the huge dildo Jenny had used and the aggressive force with which she had used it. Rob didn't think he had a trauma that needed healing; his only issue was caution when people said, "trust me."

Helena pulled his petticoats and gown back. Taking his hand, she helped Rob to stand.

Rob saw all four women standing before him, smiling and laughing, their strap-ons still attached to their body. Seeing Helena dressed like a mistress was a little shocking. "We should take a group photo," he joked, to move his mind off Helena. He tried to take a step but his heels on the mattress betrayed him and he nearly lost his balance.

Helena helped him steady himself and guided him to stand on the carpet. "Wait and see; you have no idea." She turned to the other women. "Girls, let's undress him and take what is ours."

They quickly removed their strap-ons. Eagerly they grabbed Rob, stripped him of his bridal gown and petticoats, leaving him in shoes, stockings and corset. They laid him down on the mattress, his throbbing dick pointing to the ceiling. Helena immediately covered his mouth with her shaven pussy "Lick and do a good job!" Her voice struck him as harsh, given the occasion. At the same time Carmen positioned herself over his hard cock, slipped it into her and began her ride.

Olga was tickling his balls and with her other hand masturbating herself. Kim knelt above Rob's head, kissing Helena and caressing her breasts.

Everywhere Rob could see he saw sexily dressed women smiling at him. He knew they were here only to share pleasure with him.

Chapter 23

As they finished breakfast on a Saturday morning in late March Helena had an idea for Rob. "Are you up for a little game, dear?"

After a pause, Rob said, "I'm willing to discuss a game. What do you have in mind?"

"Do you dare to go for a walk in the woods with me, but with you dressed?"

Rob looked outside. The day looked promising. It should be pleasant weather for a walk. But he wasn't going to simply accept. She was happy to challenge him, it was another thing entirely to be challenged in return. Requiring her to participate would limit her expectations. "And how will you be dressed? If you're asking me to take a risk, what risk will you take with me?"

Helena had to stop to think. After a moment of her silence he made a suggestion. "What if you wear a long coat, underneath you wear only your lingerie without any panties."

"I'll have to think on that." She poured Rob and herself more coffee. "What if I go out bare breasted? If you dress properly, nobody will see you're a man. I, on the other hand, would get into real trouble, should anyone see me like that."

"True." Rob thought some more then spoke. "I'll do it, on one condition: you must help me to put on some make-up, very little, subtle. I need just to cover me when I'm seen from a distance. You make a good faith effort to give me the best possible disguise and I'll do it. When people see me up close, they'll find out anyway, then I'll have to run fast."

Helena grinned. "Wouldn't that be fun, you running in your high heels. Walking in a wood is pretty harmless.

"By the way, I promised Kim we would visit her this afternoon." She saw Rob's immediate frown. "No, don't look like that, there is no game being planned behind your back. We'll just have a little chat, maybe a glass of wine. I'm sure it will be nice to see her again. There's a wood near her house, I thought we could walk there."

They finished their breakfast and went upstairs to dress as they had agreed for their little outing. Helena wore a corset supporting her breasts, but leaving them entirely exposed. She added a black, silk skirt which fell just below her knees, worn with the stockings she always wore to give Rob a tease.

Rob shaved his face carefully before dressing. Like Helena, Rob wore black stockings with a seam, attached to a black suspender belt. He chose a matching, black satin, long line bra. Black French knickers completed his lingerie. Over this he wore a gray wool skirt which left his knees showing and a medium blue satin blouse with long sleeves. He put on a shoulder-length brown wig in a simple hairstyle. He hoped he wouldn't attract any attention; his clothing choices were ordinary to avoid providing any detail which might attract the eye. The only striking detail about his clothing were the seams on his stockings. He decided to wear shoes with kitten heels, not the higher heels he normally wore at home. He was, after all, going to walk in a wood.

He joined Helena, who was waiting for him with anticipation. Rob took a seat at the make-up table in her bedroom. He looked over all her tools. He knew a lot about lingerie, but he was not familiar with makeup; Jenny had done just a few touches on a few occasions. He was interested in watching, up close, how Helena would change him from an ordinary, not terribly handsome man into a woman.

Helena put a bit of foundation over on his face to give him some coverage, then a touch of blush. She used a brown pencil to change his eyebrows a bit, then she used eye shadow to color his eyelids as well as a touch under his eyes.

Rob teased her and caressed her legs as she was doing his make-up. His hands touched her inner thighs and the top of her stockings, then strayed to her pubic mound and softly he stroked her. She smiled impishly at him, she liked how he stroked her thighs, but she had a schedule in mind. "Maybe this afternoon, Rob. Now let me finish my work." She asked him to pucker as though kissing and colored his lips with a very light red lipstick. Rob thought the color was only a little brighter than the natural color his lips already had.

When she was done she looked at him and thought although his was an obvious male face, still it wasn't too bad.

"You can pass any day for a woman."

"I don't want to draw any attention, especially when men would see me, including driving. I know it's not illegal to go out dressed in clothing of the opposite sex, but you know I'm not feeling comfortable. In fact, the closer I get to doing this the more nervous I'm getting."

They put on light coats and went out to Helena's car. It was still cool but the sun was starting to warm things.

Helena studied him in the sunlight. "You look great, Rob. Nobody will notice. Let me drive the car, you aren't used to driving in heels." She took them on a short drive across the countryside, arriving in several minutes in a small village.

"Rob, you remember Towcester, don't you? Kim lives just over there." Helena pointed down the street. "You've been there, remember?

"Anyway, we've almost arrived." Helena drove another five minutes then pulled into a graveled car park. "We'll park here, we can walk into the woods behind the church. I don't see anyone, it's still early."

No other cars were in the car park when they got out. A patch of ancient forest surrounded the area, low bushes along the road kept their parked car from being seen by passing cars. This place would the ideal place for couples to tryst.

Rob stopped, took a deep breath and reviewed how he looked. As he got out of the car, he carefully held down the hem of his skirt to keep his stocking tops hidden. Rob felt insecure walking in the open. He'd never done this before. He felt a mix of anxious and excited. He could feel the breeze over his legs. A gust showed him he had to reach quickly to hold his skirt down, otherwise his underwear would have shown. He realized he might have preferred a narrower skirt.

Helena saw his trouble with his skirt in the wind. "Now you understand some of the difficulties women must manage". Rob quickly figured out he could hold his skirt in one hand and keep control over it most of the time.

They had walked only a few hundred yards into the wood when Helena suddenly said, with alarm, "My keys, I don't have my keys in my pocket."

She hurriedly searched the pockets of her coat then in her handbag, but they were not there.

"I must have lost them, between here and the car. Let's go back and try to find them."

They walked slowly back the way they had come, looking to the ground where they had walked. Arriving at their car they search all around it. It appeared the keys were gone.

"What now? I don't dare to walk through the village like this!" With some panic she showed Rob her breasts, more than a normal cleavage showing between the lapels of her coat.

"Murphy's law" Rob mumbled. For some reason he had expected something to happen.

"What did you say, dear?"

"Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Murphy's law." Rob was feeling agitated, anxious. "It looks to me, I need to make a fast walk through the village and go to Kim and ask her to come back to pick you up."

"Good idea, Rob. I should stay here, behind the hedge and wait for you to pick me up." Helena gave him a kiss. "Rescue me quickly, please."

Rob sighed and started walking.

The first few houses looked like they had once been farm-houses outside of town. He passed larger, newer houses with nicely designed gardens, soon reaching the older part of town with the houses closer together. At one turning he found himself in the centre of the small village. He passed a few shops, still quiet. Rob noticed a group of men coming toward him, but on the opposite side of the road. Rob kept his face averted, as thought from the wind. When he too a quick peek at them he saw they were openly watching him. One whistled. Rob imagined he'd noticed the seamed hose.

Rob was already walking as quickly as was reasonable. He was torn between going faster still and losing the illusion of femininity. The men didn't follow. Rob could imagine they were on their way to a sport club or whatever.

He almost ran into an old couple. "Oh! So sorry!"

They greeted him with smiles. "Good morning."

Rob wished them also a good morning, quickly improvising a somewhat higher voice. He didn't look back so he didn't know the old couple took no further notice of him.

He sighed with relief when he walked out of the village centre. He passed a local pub as a young couple came toward him, walking hand in hand. They only gave him a quick look, they were busy with each other, kissing and laughing.

Rob was getting more and more confident. So far, so good.

A group of kids were playing three-a-side footie. The ball rolled out of bounds, directly to him. His immediate reaction was to give it a kick, but he remembered ladies don't behave like that. He stopped it with his instep and picked it up. He rolled it underhanded back toward the nearest boy.

"Thank you, miss," the boy said and jogged back to his friends. He saw them talking and looking at him, but none said anything to him. Then one of the boys gave a whistle, Rob looked at to him sharply and saw the boy immediately blush.

"Sorry miss, I didn't mean anything." He turned away and their game resumed.

Rob almost laughed with his relief. He felt good. He couldn't believe he was getting away with this. In just three or four more minutes, he walked up the driveway to Kim's door. A car pulled up next to him and stopped. Rob recognized the car - and the driver. It was Helena, sporting a wicked smile!

"How was your walk, Rob?" Her voice sounded so innocent.

"No problem. Where did you find your keys?"

"Actually in my pocket." Her grin got wider. "I never lost them. I just wanted you to take a walk on a quiet morning and see how you would pass. It went well, didn't it? You had no trouble at all.

"The whole time I was driving behind you, but you didn't notice, because you had no reason to look over your shoulder. Next time it would be the safest for you to look all around once in a while. I might have been a horny man who wanted to pick you up." She broke into laughter.

"Rob, it was a nice sight, to see you waggle with your arse. Although your heels could be higher, still you did swing your hips a bit. You are more feminine than you think. I loved it."

"So I never was in danger?"

"No of course not. The moment I saw any issue, I would have pulled you into the car immediately. No one can mess with me without getting something back, self-defense skills are part of my schooling. You don't know everything about me yet."

"Clearly not. Do you have any more surprises for me?" Rob could feel a bit of anger now that he saw what she'd done to him.

"Mmm, yes. Our meeting with Kim is social, but we have something to discuss with you."

"Helena, I don't like to be surprised. I'm a bit upset at the surprise you have just sprung on me, I'll say more on this later.

"Let me warn you to be completely forthcoming with me. Take care even if you think it will be a pleasant surprise. They might seem harmless to you, but the last surprise from Jenny, not six months ago, brought about a divorce."

They walked to the door and knocked.

Chapter 24

Kim answered the door almost immediately. She was not at all surprised to see Rob in women's clothing. "Oh, who is this sweet lady on my doorstep?"

Kim held the door for them to enter. "I do like you like this, Rob, you're quite ladylike. You know, I'm a known lesbian or in any case bisexual, but I don't like the normal male type. I very much like you right now, like this."

Kim studied him as she closed her door. "Helena has done quite a good job on you. I know you, but when I just glance at you, I don't quite make out a man. But under these clothes you are still very male, I sometimes see something, in your skirt there, that ladies don't have."

"Kim, this is the end of my going out en femme today, would you have anything I can use to clean up my face?" He didn't see Helena's disappointed face, she wanted to take him for a drive in her car still looking quite feminine.

Kim went to her bedroom and brought back make-up remover. "You can use the bathroom upstairs or the kitchen sink."

Rob opted for the bathroom and went upstairs. He was uneasy to see himself in the mirror. It reminded him he'd never really liked wearing make-up, it wasn't quite what he wanted to be.

When Rob rejoined the women in Kim's sitting room he had completely removed his make-up. He carried his wig in his hand. He observed Helena had produced a blouse from somewhere, giving herself a more modest appearance.

Kim and Helena had glasses of wine, Kim handed him a glass of whiskey. The spirits reminded him Helena said there was something to discuss with Kim. The stronger spirits for him made him imagine they intended to convince him of something. Before even taking a sip he decided he would not drink much, to better deal with their attempts at persuasion. No doubt it would be a proposal for something new for him to do with one or more of the ladies of the circle. Or, worse, a new lady for the circle, another mistress who needed him to serve her needs. He glanced at Helena and thought she looked less confident than usual.

They sipped their drinks and talked about nothing important, Kim tried twice to refill Rob's glass. After the second attempt he simply set his glass aside, its level nearly how it had been served.

Kim and Helena had prepared in advance, talking a few times by phone. Bringing it up with Rob was something else.

"I was both teasing and not teasing, Rob, saying you're male under these clothes. Seeing you fully dressed in women's clothes brings to mind an idea I've been meaning to ask you about." Rob was surprised Kim would take the lead. Normally Helena took charge of a making one of her odd requests.

Kim continued. "I happened to find into a few ideas I mentioned to Helena. She thought it best for you came to my place to talk them over, just the three of us. This discussion involves an opportunity where a physician - me - would be needed.

"Let me start to say, we have great sex." Here Helena agreed by nodding, with a big smile. "Still, things could be better, especially for you, Rob," Kim said.

Rob was silent, wondering what she intended. Did they want his penis larger? He didn't move, taking care to give her no response at all.

Kim went on, now a little uncertain. "There is this procedure, developed in Sweden. The invention is a fluid which can be injected into women's breasts to make them larger. The good thing is the fluid is body neutral so there are no side-effects. The bad thing is it only lasts a year, one and a half at most. In that time the body will absorb the fluid. So those women have to repeat it frequently, every six months let's say. It's also costly; a few hundred for each treatment. It's a simple injection of collagen into the breast under local anesthetic, requiring 45 minutes, probably less for the subsequent treatments. It must be done in a clinical setting, to limit the risks."

Rob decided to force her to be more explicit and tell him who was to be treated.. "You ladies don't need to be larger. I assure you changing your breasts won't make anything better for me."

"Oh, no, Rob" Now Helena spoke. "We're talking about making you more feminine for a year, later perhaps permanently. We'd like to enhance you, just a bit."

Rob responded quickly. "I don't need breasts, I'm perfectly happy as I am, I can buy A- and B-cup bras that fit me well."

Kim took charge again. "Rob, I haven't told you everything. My point is, if we do just one administration, the fluid injected will be a modest amount, just 100mL. The whole point of this, your nipples will get more sensitive, like a woman. So you get an extra stimulant. Another possibility is, maybe you're more in for this, is to pierce your nipples and insert nipple-rings for you. It will also enhance your sensitivity."

"If you decide on piercings, I'll be pierced right alongside you," Helena added.

"I already have them." Kim reached for the buttons on her blouse then stopped, leaving the top two buttons open, her pale blue lace bra showing. "Of course, you've already seen them. A colleague did it for me, she gave me local anesthetic by two small injections, I don't like pain either. Well, except maybe in a game. Then she did the piercing and placed two small tubes. After a bit of time you can exchange the tube for rings. You can take the jewelry off, but if you leave it off too long the piercing holes will close. Any questions, Rob?"

He was silent for a moment and then he stated: "No fluid injections, not worth the trouble and also not interested. I must think about piercing. I'm a coward in these things."

Helena stepped over to sit beside Kim, reached out to caress her breasts. "You make me hot, dear. I want to pull your rings this afternoon. Have you any more rings to show to us?" She slipped her hand under Kim's skirt for a quick inspection between her thighs. "I thought so, you dirty girl, you are a perverted doctor." Laughing loudly, she gave Kim a wet kiss. "The things we must do for good sex."

Rob's first impulse was to stroke his dick, but he realized this little show was part of their plan, right alongside the whiskey he hadn't drunk.

Helena was trying to raise Rob's interest just as he was telling himself to stay cool. "I need something stronger to drink, this is getting me hot and bothered."

Rob rose and walked to Kim's silver tray on the sideboard. "Whiskey, ladies?" He poured two more, half full, giving Helena and Kim each a glass. He lifted his own glass and went through the motions of sipping, but didn't swallow much.

Helena began asking Kim questions. "I've read about piercings, I understand there is a healing period, some people a few days, others a few weeks. How did you experience the piercing and the recovery? Does it give you more pleasure?"

Kim curled her legs up onto the couch and leaned back, giving Rob a clear view up her skirt to the tops of her stockings.

"I'm no hero. But it's easy for me to ask a colleague to help me, as I can do for you guys. That's what I did. The anesthesia only lasted 30 minutes or so, after it wore off there was a bit of pain. You have a wound of course, but not very much.

"Your bra can't be a snug, might be a larger size. You need room for the bandage the first week. Cleaning is very important. I was healed within a week. And my nipples are much more sensitive. I'm constantly reminded I have rings. I can be horny as hell after a day's work. Fortunately Mr. Big is always available to take care of me." She gave Helena a wink.

"You saw I have also a piercing on my clit. It's a hood piercing, above the clit. The clit itself is totally intact, but the hood is touching the sensitive part of your clitty. It's such a stimulating feeling. I had it done at the same time as the nipple piercing."

"Mmm, sounds good," Helena said, thinking it over. "What do you think Rob?"

"I must tell you I don't like to feel metal at all. I don't wear any rings, not even on my finger, let alone a piercing. When I wear a ring on my finger, I feel it constantly. For some reason I can't ignore it. So I don't wear any jewelry. Not even my wedding ring, when I was married."

"I'm not asking about your dick or fingers, I was thinking of your breasts, they would become more sensitive. I can make good use of it. I'll just bind you to our bed and I can hook a small weight to your rings or a small rope; then I have the rein and I can ride my horse." Helena gave him a wicked smile.

"Well, if more sensitive nipples is so you can cause pain more conveniently, then my answer is obvious," Rob replied. "Lucky I gave you all that whiskey, Kim. Now you can't do anything to me."

"I wasn't planning to do it today," Kim replied. "You have to think it over. This is not a decision to take in haste. The same goes for you Helena, I give no guarantee it will go easily for anyone."

"I know, I know. I was just teasing Rob. I know he doesn't like the idea. But you would recommend it to me, Kim?"

"Since you're a very sexual and even kinky person, I'd say, yes, try it. But it's really up to you; I like it, but it doesn't mean you're sure to like it. But the effect of the ring through your hood is amazing. You can have a bead dangling so it bumps against your clitty, mmm, just wonderful.

"If she does, Rob, you'll have a tough time. You'll have to make her come, then again and again." She burst into laughter. "Oh, Rob, the expression on your face! We women don't make it easy on you. But this is what you always wanted, your own wife as horny as hell and your girlfriends wanting something as well." Now both women laughed.

Rob blushed from top to toe. He wanted to say something, but he decided to keep his mouth shut.

"Some more whiskey, anybody?" He walked over to where the alcohol was kept.

"Rob, not too much, you might be here socially, but it doesn't mean you don't have to work," Kim said, then both woman burst into laughter.

Rob smiled, reply in a calm voice. "I'll work when it pleases me."

The topic moved on from the serious subjects. They chatted, time passed. At mid-day, Kim said, "I feel like walking over to the pub for lunch, let's all go together."

She gave Rob a mischievous smile, who decided to call her bluff. He stood. "Sure, I'll go like this."

Kim's expression didn't change, but Helena's did. "Not yet. You have to put on your wig and I have to re-do you makeup."

"No, just like this. Take me as I am." He was challenging the ladies, but with humor instead of anger; they were unsure what to do.

Kim was nodding her head to accept Rob's offer. Helena saw it differently. "Kim, I think it's time Rob and I drive back home. We have things to do this afternoon."

They soon departed, Rob still in his women's' clothing but simply carrying his wig. They talked a little as they made the short drive back to Stoke Goldington. They went upstairs and changed, Rob into male clothing, Helena into more casual clothes.

Before they left the bedroom, Helena turned to him sharply. "What was that about?"

Rob gave her a cool look. "The way to raise the stakes is to put in more chips yourself. If you want something, you need to give up something to get it."

Chapter 25

On a fine Friday morning in April, Rob and Helena went to a park for a long morning walk. They stopped at a pub in the countryside for lunch. Taking their time, they didn't return home until mid-afternoon. When they returned home, their housekeeper informed Rob that Jenny had phoned for him a couple of times during the day.

Rob was hesitant, but Helena urged him to return her call. "Get it over with; I imagine she just wants the rest of her belongings."

So Rob phoned Jenny back and made an appointment to meet her Sunday afternoon, in their old home.

It was overcast with band of light rain as he drove to Oxford on Sunday. His thoughts matched the gray weather. He remembered the good things he thought they'd had; but the more he thought it over, the angrier he became. Had everything been a lie? Had he actually had none of those good things, was it a fleeting illusion?

Finally he reached his old home. He was going over old memories as he closed the door to the second floor flat he still owned. Jenny and he had been married for 15 years and lived together for a year before marrying. Now all he could think about was why on earth she ever want to live with him.

The doorbell rang. He opened the door and let Jenny and Holly in. She needs backup, he thought to himself. Neither looked him in the eye.

Rob politely invited them to take seats. Jenny began as soon as she was seated. "This is about Marion. You left her for Helena and now she has only us. She still wants you, but she understands you are now out of her reach. I think you should at least apologize to her for the awful accusations you made. She knows she lost your love, but she deserves at least a chance to talk things through, to say a few things to you and give you a fair hearing. Rob, she needs you to hear her side of the story, really needs you, for her therapy. You left her with harsh words."

"She should be glad I didn't use the whip on her, instead of just harsh words. You two acted against every principal of BDSM. You completely failed on consent, you and Marion. And that weekend, why did you hurt me so much? What did I do to deserve that?"

"You had hurt Marion so much that day, you needed a lesson." Jenny's voice was angry. "I promised her to help with your punishment, your lesson, and so I did. I'd been thinking to start pushing you away, doing things you don't like. The way you were to Marion, so harsh, that was the last straw. And let's face it; no real harm was done, except to your pride."

Jenny paused, Rob let the silence last. This was about whatever message she had to deliver. He'd been harsh to Marion only after the episode was over, but he knew it would have been better to say no words for her to hold against him. When Jenny resumed, her voice was more calm. "Marion is getting better. She's seeing a psychiatrist, she's making progress. It will take time for her to recover from you."

"From me? What have I to do with it?"

"Listen, your stupid theory is wrong, John's death was not her doing. John was depressed, that much is true. He might have committed suicide, we'll never know. But the games Marion played with him did cheer him up. Marion loved him dearly. I don't believe she made it worse for him."

"No doubt." Rob was unconvinced.

"Don't think you know everything, Marion is a good person! She cared for John, but he was out of reach and nothing could return his mental health. She tried, with love, with walks in the countryside, with holidays in sunny places and yes, with scenes in the basement, anything she could think of to help him enjoy life, but all in vain." She was silent for a moment, to make Rob fully understand what she said.

"Marion is facing her second challenge, because of you." Jenny's voice was growing angry again. "Marion is not like Holly and I. She is bisexual but prefers men. Men who are not so straightforward particularly appeal to her.

"Rob, she fell in love with you instantly. She couldn't bear to be neglected by her beloved that afternoon, that's why she wasn't herself in the evening."

Rob's thoughts were still on Jenny, not Marion. "I don't understand your part at all. If you were so disgusted with me, why didn't you just leave me? Instead you dragged me into some stupid game intended to humiliate me. All the sweet things you've said to me, all the years we lived together, I thought we had love. But it was all a big lie. I suppose your shopping trips were all just hook-ups?" He was getting emotional, he could feel tears coming to his eyes.

Jenny met his gaze for the first time. "I've been a lesbian all my life, but I didn't appreciate what it meant until a few years ago. I married you because I liked you, but also because you were not at all a typical male. Far better than a man, you could be quite feminine. The times you were dressed up, I found I liked you the most.

"Marion was one of several lesbian lovers I've had long-term relationships with, all of them wondering why I stayed with you. I had short flings with a dozen more. But no, Rob, I didn't hate you, I've never hated you, not even after you left me."

"So all these years living with me, were in fact a lie, you didn't truly love me, I was a convenience."

Jenny shrugged. "I think that covers most of our relationship."

Rob was done letting her push him. "I warn you, if I ever discover you making use of my cross dressing to make me a fool with old friends or in public, I shall take care to help you regret your choice! I have already made some advance preparations should I hear the wrong things."

Jenny knew Rob did not make idle threats. She assumed she was already the subject of Helena's private investigators. "Rob, I swear, whatever has happened between us, I would never betray you like that."

"It seems to me you betrayed me nonstop for 16 years. What you claim now now holds little weight. I was the victim and you seem to think only I did something wrong that dreadful weekend. Holly, there was a reason you didn't stay to the end of that dreadful episode.

"Jenny, take what you please; I'll get rid of everything else." The tears in his eyes were gone, his voice was controlled and quiet. Jenny knew he was on the brink of exploding.

He stood. "I'll be out walking, I'll come back after you're gone."

When Rob returned, they were gone. The only thing left in Jenny's wardrobe was her bridal gown. He didn't want the gown, but he wasn't willing to just throw away a beautiful bridal gown either.

Lost in random thoughts, he walked to the kitchen. His eyes fell on an envelope, Jenny must have left him one final note. He opened the envelope and was shocked to discover the note was from Marion.

"My dearest friend, I still think of you as the new love of my life, no matter how angry you were with me and I with you.

"Whatever people say about me or John, understand that I really never, ever wanted to hurt him. He was depressed and I couldn't reach him. Please talk to me in person, please listen to me and let me explain my point of view. You can bring along Helena or Kim if it would help, I understand your friendship.

"Since you left me, I cry myself to sleep every night. Holly and Jenny are no replacement for what you and I had. Maybe, if we had talked more, it wouldn't have come this far, I don't know. I do know I miss you terribly and I'm visiting a psychiatrist, but not for the reason you suggested. The psychiatrist is helping me through a depression caused by you leaving me.

"Can you have mercy and talk with me?

"Forever yours,

"Marion."

Rob sighed at the mess he'd gotten into. He disagreed completely with some of the sentences in her letter. He'd always thought Marion was overstating any connection between them. Here she was writing about "what we had," as though they had something. He wanted to set her straight, give her a dose of reality, get her to simply stop dwelling on him. On the other hand, he felt no obligation to give her comfort and there was a good chance seeing Marion would just re-start her fantasy of a relationship with him.

He needed to talk things over with Helena and then decide what to do. He drove back to Stoke Goldington full of mixed emotions. The moment Helena saw his face, she knew something was wrong. "Are you okay?"

Rob thought he had been holding himself together, but tears suddenly welled in his eyes again. "That bitch Jenny stole almost 20 years of my life. She admitted there never was love. I'm such a fool."

Helena stepped to Rob, her arms circling him. "Oh, Rob, nobody could ever expect this. You loved her and she loved you back. She loved you! Regardless of what she claims now, she loved you, I'm convinced of it. She cared for you; otherwise she couldn't possibly have stayed with you for so long. Your relationship was not all betrayal. She was a fool, though, not satisfied to have you, wanting all of her desires instead of enjoying what she already had. Or, being honest with you of all her needs, the two of you dealing with it together. She was more the fool for the manner in which she left you."

She was right, of course. With the clarity she'd helped him find, he calmed as quickly as he'd teared up. He told Helena what had Jenny said to him -- and that Holly was now her companion -- then gave her Marion's letter to read.

"This I didn't expect, we may have been too quick to judge. I knew her long before you, she joined the circle some months after John died." She saw the question in Rob's eyes. "She was a woman hurt by a man. Each of us was hurt in a different way. We supported her in her loss."

"You knew Jenny, then? She was with Marion a great deal of the time in the months after the funeral."

"No, that weekend was the first time I met Jenny, you or Holly.'"

"What did you think of Marion before the weekend we met?" Rob asked.

"I'm not really sure. When she joined the circle she was a woman in mourning. Her relationship within the circle was not sexual. Our circle of friends started just as friends, talking, one might call it a support group. As we talked about our needs, our interests, we found we could help each other physically as well. The circle has changed membership over the years, some leaving and others joining. My oldest friends are still in: Olga and Carmen. Kim joined a bit later. It was Kim who brought Marion to us. When you were at Marion's house we were five, you saw all of the circle."

"And Marion was a real friend?"

"Indeed, she was." She gestured with the letter from Marion, still in her hand. "But, as you know, she has fallen in love with you. In the circle, the last several weeks before her party, we could see she was entranced by the thought of you. Her whole world was to make you happy."

"What an odd way of showing she wanted to make me happy."

"Rob, this will be hard for you to hear. We should give her a chance. Let her say what she wants to say. I expect her to explain what she intended for the party. Most of the hurt you had, you know, was the feeling of betrayal. It's true, both Jenny and Marion let you down by crossing a line at the end of the session. Deep inside, though, your worst feelings, your deepest hurt, was much more how Jenny treated you, not nearly as much about Marion. Your physical pain disappeared after a few days, you told me so yourself.

"You know, something occurred to me the moment you told me what Jenny said. Marion is a victim, just as you are. Both of you were Jenny's victims; she should have a lot on her conscience." She sighed. "And, I'm afraid Marion has been my victim as well. She could see we'd made a connection, now in addition to seeing she was pushing you away, she saw I was pulling you in."

"But Marion could have stopped Jenny when she first saw the huge dildo. Marion could have prevented herself from picking up a whip. Marion could have kept the session from going beyond what was discussed - what had my consent."

"Marion couldn't stop herself. She was no longer fit to judge Jenny's actions. She should not have become so angry, but I think she could see she might lose you. You were supposed to fall in love with her, you didn't and I was a rival. Rob, I think we must talk with her, together, and find a solution agreeable for all of us."

"And what would be a suitable solution, for the three of us?" Rob had no idea how to approach speaking to Marion.

She picked up her phone. "I'll ask her if she's willing to come here to speak with us."

Rob walked away, he didn't want to hear what Helena said to Marion. He wasn't interested in a solution agreeable to Marion, he just wanted her to leave him alone. How could she love him after such a short time? If she really did love him, how could she imagine whipping him having any effect except what had happened? He had no idea how to resolve this mess. He felt guilty about causing her this pain, but on the other hand, after both weekends ended with him unhappy, how was he supposed to have understood the depth of her feelings for him?

He felt pity for her, but he keep his distance, he decided. He would not kiss her, he would be polite, but give her no encouragement. He would bring an end to this foolishness about loving him.

Helena stood in the doorway, silently watching him. "Have you made up your mind? I saw you thinking, I could almost see your thoughts on your face."

"What have you and Marion decided?"

"By now, she's in her car, heading toward us. I expect her to be here in half an hour."

"I could use a drink, do you want something?"

"Sure, a whiskey would be okay, we deserve it after our day of emotions and it's not yet over."

Rob poured two glasses of whiskey and gave one to Helena. Silently they sipped, relaxing a bit, before the new emotions they were about to face.

After some thought, Rob said, "Helena, I support any decisions you make about Marion. I have chosen you and nothing can keep me away from you. For this reason, I'm comfortable letting you decide what to do with Marion, you know her better than I."