Where It All Began

Growing up I'd always had strong gay curious urges towards guys. As a teenager I was into girls, but when I first got interested in sex, it didn't seem possible that I'd ever get with a girl. When I was jerking off almost every day, my life changed when I found my dad's stash of Penthouse magazines.

The pictorials of hot naked women and sometimes couples or lesbian spreads had me instantly hard and stroking myself to orgasm after orgasm. After a couple of months, I had time to slow it down and really go through the magazines and I found the Forum Letters section. That's when my life really changed.

Most of the letters were pretty fantastical but my mid-teen horned up brain could hardly tell what was real and I couldn't believe that people were having so much sex but it was always enough to get me off. Very occasionally back then there would be a male on male story and that scrambled my brain.

I wasn't in any way repulsed but strongly curious as it seemed far more likely that my first sexual encounter would be with one of my friends than with any girl that I knew. Those jerk off sessions to those stories always produced my strongest orgasms and thoughts of sex with men stayed in my brain even as I found willing women and started to find my heterosexual way in the world.

As I moved onto college, I had sex with and fucked my fair share of women and had lots of fun, but I kept up with a stash of Penthouse Letters that sometimes offered themed issues that featured lots of lesbian and gay sex stories. I was invariably drawn to the gay stories and why I couldn't really explain to myself, and after a particularly rough breakup with a long time girlfriend, I went to visit an old friend from high school that I'd stayed in touch with who was going to school out west.

He'd broken up with his girlfriend recently, and we just had a regular college guys' weekend, drinking and complaining about women while chasing anyone that would give us the time of day around the bars. We struck out consistently and ended up back at his apartment on the last night, quite drunk and horned up.

He dropped down on his couch and he turned on a porn DVD and we laughed and joked in the dark. After about 10 minutes, we both got quiet and started watching more intently and were obviously getting uncomfortably aroused. My cock was getting hard and I was trying to shift it around, but really I was making the excuse in my head that it was okay to rub myself a bit.

Whenever I could I'd sneak glances at my buddy and I could see that he was doing the same thing while intently looking at the sex on screen. When he put his hand down his shorts and started squeezing and rubbing himself, I was transfixed and just stared. Our legs weren't quite touching, but we were sitting close and when he spread his legs a bit to shift his junk around, our thighs came together and he pulled the head of his dick out of the top of his underwear. I gasped quietly at that point and realized my buddy was staring at me.

"Take it out," was all I had to say. He unzipped and worked his shorts and underwear down and I had my eyes on my first erect dick that wasn't my own. He slowly stroked up and down and asked me if I liked what I saw.

"Yes," I said quietly while squeezing my own cock and balls. "Take yours out then, I want to see it," he said. I didn't hesitate, stood up and stepped out of my shorts and was naked from the waist down with a raging boner, and started stroking myself too. I sat back down next to him with our legs touching and you could feel the heat coming off the both of us.

We kind of leaned in as we stroked and watched each other and I got up the courage to reach over and feel his balls. He moaned and rolled his head back and I gently fondled his balls as he stroked and I was fascinated by their weight and feel as his cock pumped up and down. I started matching his strokes and was soon using my hand over his own to stroke his shaft. He let go of his dick and I had hold of my first cock. I loved the smooth feel of the skin over his steel hard shaft, and I slowly stroked all the way up and would run my thumb around his head like I liked to do.

He moaned, "Don't stop," and I gripped him a little tighter and started stroking a little faster. He started to swell in my hand and started leaking some pre cum which I used to lubricate his shaft. I sped up, he tensed up and groaned and blasted cum all over himself and the couch. I was amazed at what I'd done, and knew this was for me.

I kept stroking him softly as he came back down and he reached for my still hard cock and started doing the same to me. I was as turned on as I'd ever been and knew I wouldn't last long. He stroked me nice and slow for a minute and I leaned back and sighed deeply thinking that I was going to get the same handjob treatment I'd given him. He started stroking all the way up my shaft and then down to my balls and would fondle them before coming back until he was just squeezing my balls when he surprised me and put his head in my lap and started licking and kissing the head of my dick.

The electricity that shot through me at that point was unlike anything I'd ever felt with college girls. He knew exactly where to lick and nibble and exactly how to do it. I shivered with excitement, and then he took my dick into his mouth and sucked it down and held it there. I went still as his tongue did laps around the head of my dick and I knew I wouldn't last long. He kept fondling my balls and started bobbing up and down on my dick. I didn't last a minute before I warned him that I was cumming but he never stopped as I blasted off in his mouth and he swallowed it all. He kept his grip on my cock with his mouth as I spasmed through an extended orgasm. When I finally came down, he slowly released my still hard cock with a pop and sat back.

We both got quiet at that point and retired to opposite ends of the couch as the porn movie kept playing. He got up to clean up in the bathroom and the alcohol caught up to me and I passed out on the couch still naked. He never came back and when I woke up the morning I wasn't sure if it had all been a dream. I had to leave for the airport fairly early and things were weird. We never talked about it then and haven't since, but it stuck in my head as where I wanted to explore sexually.

Over the following weeks and then months, I replayed that night in my head and in my jerk off sessions, always cumming hard and wishing we had done more. I tried to forget about it and move on, but knew I never could. It would be some years later that I admitted to myself that I was really bi and had so much more to explore. And that's what I did.