What is a Slave without a Master? Ch. 07

It was only an hour or so later when Alex finally climbed back up the boarding ladder into the Peregrine. Her messenger bag at her side holding what she had managed to find for dinner. As she entered the cargo bay her mind was lost deep in thought. So absorbed in fact that she had stridden most of the way through the room before she froze. She spun on her heel and stared at ET4H2-5C's escape pod sitting between the rows of empty cargo racks. It still rested in the cargo arm exactly where it had been when she left the ship.

"Verity? I told the unloading crew to take the pod. Why's it still here?" she called up with a confused expression.

"Starport personnel expressed their apologies at being unable to complete the offloading of ET4H2-5C's escape pod. They explained that the local Search and Rescue office has been closed until further notice and thus could not accept the delivery."

Alex stood in silence for a long moment, unsure how she was supposed to feel about that.

"Do we know why it's closed?"

"Allegedly all Search and Rescue staff have been called away to assist with an urgent matter."

Alex narrowed her eyes.

"Does.... ET4H.....2.....5C know?" she finally asked, managing to string together the right digits.

"I have observed no indication she has been informed."

"huh.... well that's going to be interesting," Alex muttered as she moved towards the living quarters.

"Thanks... Verity," she added as she stepped out of the cargo bay. When she did, she noticed the Peregrine felt strangely empty considering there should be another person inside. She could hear the clothes washer running and was about to call for her passenger when she caught a flash of movement from within her kitchen. She glanced over and saw ET4H2-5C quickly rising to her feet and adopting her attention position in greeting.

"Again, you don't need to stand like that for me," Alex said firmly. "And also, were you sitting on the floor?"

ET4H2-5C blushed quickly as she pulled her hands out from behind herself and relaxed her position before nodding. Alex noted that she was wearing her spare uniform and in one of her hands the woman held a book.

"Hello, Miss Alex. And yes the floor was perfectly adequate for me, please do not worry."

"Did you not use my furniture because I didn't think to explicitly say you were allowed?" Alex asked flatly. Her passenger began to speak before stopping herself. A nervous expression across her face.

"I didn't want to be presumptuous."

Alex let out a sigh before stepping into the kitchen and taking one of the bar stools for herself.

"Come on, sit with me," she instructed gently. "I've got some.... unexpected news."

ET4H2-5C quickly did as she was told, laying her book face down as Alex brought her bag up onto the counter and began to unload dinner.

"So it turns out, the Search and Rescue office is closed until further notice," she said, trying to keep her expression neutral. She did catch a quick flit of something across ET4H2-5C's face, but she couldn't tell if it was disappointment or relief.

"It... will be no trouble for me to wait on board the station," the slave replied unsurely.

"What? I have no idea if 'until further notice' means two hours or two weeks. You can't just..... sit outside the door for however long it takes to reopen?" Alex asked incredulously.

"I..." the slave began hesitantly. "I don't... see an alternative. I have intruded upon your home and hospitality for far too long as it is. I am deeply grateful for your generosity and everything you've already done so much for me. But I could not bring myself to ask you to do more."

Alex reached over and landed an open food container in front of her passenger, filling ET4H2-5C's nose with scents that she only remembered from before she was a slave. It was noodles mixed in white sauce and cheeses, interspersed with synthetic meats. The slave glanced over at Alex, and saw she had the same.

"If I felt you were an intruder, you wouldn't still be here," the Commander stated firmly. The slave looked back nervously before swallowing and returned her gaze to the food before her.

"Then.... what would you.... prefer to do with me?" she asked slowly. Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Do with you? You're not a piece of cargo," Alex stated as she laid a container of bread between them.

"In many ways I am," ET4H2-5C murmured with an awkward shrug. Alex shot her a stern look: in that moment coming to a decision.

"Not to me. And here's what I'm going to do with you; I'm going to take you with me. I'll be stopping at a different Starport soon enough. If you really want to go back to the Empire we'll find you an open S&R office. But I'm not going to just let you wait in an unfamiliar Starport on your own for god knows how long," she declared as she watched her passenger for a reaction. ET4H2-5C looked embarrassed, but her eyes were bright and there was a smile trying to battle its way onto her lips.

"I.... thank you, Miss Alex. I... owe you more gratitude than I will ever be able to offer. But.... may I ask why you would do that for me?" she asked, her voice a mixture of relief and apprehension.

"You already helped me get out of an interdiction," Alex said with a shrug. "And even then, us pilots have got a.... bit of a policy with rescues. Space... space is a beautiful death trap," she said, gesturing vaguely up.

"I love it, but at the same time: there are so many ways people can end up in trouble through no fault of their own. Careful pilots flying well maintained ships can still find themselves in danger. So there's a bit of an unwritten rule among Commanders: we help the stranded and lost when we can. Because one day it could be us. That's why I picked you up in the first place, and you.... well you give me serious lost puppy vibes," Alex chuckled.

ET4H2-5C blushed, but she was also smiling.

"If you are absolutely certain..... then I cannot begin to describe how grateful I am. Please tell me if there is anything I am able to do for you. Maintenance or repairs to the Peregrine. Anything at all," she managed, immense gratitude creeping in under her voice. Alex raised an eyebrow as she grinned.

"And here I thought you were going to bashfully decline."

ET4H2-5C blushed deeper as she dropped her gaze.

"I am quickly learning that such protests will not stop you from treating me with such kindness."

"Damn straight," Alex said with a laugh.

"Where... would you like me to store my personal items... for as long as I am here?" ET4H2-5C asked tentatively after a moment.

"I think if I shuffle some stuff around in my bedroom lockers I can clear one our for you," Alex said, trying to remember everything that was in them. The slave looked about to object reflexively before she stopped herself.

".... thank you, Miss Alex. That is... very generous of you," she murmured. Alex laughed gently.

"But there's one more condition for you coming with me," she added.

"Of course. I would be more than happy to provide, Miss Alex," ET4H2-5C quickly replied.

"Even if you're only sticking around for a day or two, I need something to call you that isn't the serial number. And 'Ship Lady' isn't cutting it," Alex chuckled. "I assume you weren't born as a slave? You must have had a name before?"

"Yes I had a name from before I became a slave," ET4H2-5C began tentatively. "However, I would be more than happy to answer to whatever you would like to call me."

Alex fixed her with a stern expression and the slave quickly relented.

"Is there some reason you don't want to be called your old name?" Alex asked more gently. ET4H2-5C hesitated for a long moment before finally answering.

"I've been a slave for eight years. I haven't used the name in all that time. It now feels... unfamiliar," she said quietly.

"Okay that's fair," began Alex begrudgingly. "But it'd be even more unfamiliar if I just gave you a random name. So are you willing to tell me what you want to be called?"

ET4H2-5C was silent for a long moment of contemplation.

"I do like my designation. It is the.... familiar one," she admitted apologetically, and Alex quietly resigned herself to having to quote an order form every time she wanted her passenger's attention.

"Although you are correct, it is not a name," the slave added slowly, causing the Commander to blink in surprise. Alex was silent for a moment, expecting her passenger to continue, but the woman didn't.

"You are allowed to say no to this, but can we..... turn your designation into a name? So we're not taking it away from you entirely," she finally asked. "ET4 could turn into ETA pretty easily. How do you feel about.... Eta?"

"Eta?" the woman repeated in a stunned voice. "... I..... I am.... not used to my preferences being given such importance. But that... is very kind of you. And.... Eta..... Et... a...." she said, rolling the name around in her mouth.

"I... do like it. I like it very much. Thank you, Miss Alex," she said, a smile growing across her lips.

"Then Eta it is," Alex declared before extending a hand.

"A pleasure to meet you Eta," she said, the woman taking her hand with a bright smile.

"The pleasure is all mine, Miss Alex," Eta replied happily. Alex chuckled as they shook, but once it broke she turned her attention towards her dinner, nudging her passenger to do the same. The two ate in contented silence for a few moments, but it wasn't long before Alex could no longer contain her burning curiosity.

"May I..... ask you something, Eta?" she eventually asked, her passenger's head perking up at the sound of her new name.

"Of course, Miss Alex."

"You've said you... chose to be a slave. Can I ask why?"

Eta paused. She gently laid down her fork as she took a deep breath.

"I... am not used to people inquiring about me, but I will do my best. However, to fully explain that decision I think I would need to describe the situation I found myself in at the time. Is that acceptable?"

Alex simply nodded as she gestured for Eta to continue.

"Thank you for your patience," the slave replied gratefully, her mind racing as she tried to determine where to begin.

"The series of events that lead to me becoming a slave began..." she started tentatively after a moment. ".... when I inherited my parent's home following their deaths."

Alex let out a started cough, her eyes wide. She winced, suddenly regretting her curiosity.

"I'm... sorry. I didn't mean to make you relive... If you don't want to talk about this, that's okay," she said awkwardly, reaching out and bumping the back of her hand against Eta's own sitting on the counter next to her.

"You do not need to apologize. It was a long time ago, and.... I haven't spoken about it in eight years. It... might do me some good to speak about them now," the slave said quietly.

"Besides, it was quick. My mother had gone off world for a work trip, and my father had gone with her as a... vacation. On their return a nitrogen tank leaked into their compartment. They would have fallen unconscious from lack of oxygen before they knew anything was amiss. They did not suffer."

The woman's voice held steady, but Alex could see a faint shine building below her eyes. She pulled another tissue out of her jacket and wordlessly passed it over.

"Being their only child, after their deaths their estate came to me," Eta continued. Alex's brow furrowed. Not liking the direction this story was going.

"I did not live with them at the time. I had begun my apprenticeship and I had my own accommodation there that required payment. So I was attempting to pay my own way, and the remaining payments on my parent's home, from an Engineering Technologist apprentice's salary. I quickly exhausted my own savings, and the money my parents left behind. I could have sold the home, but I chose not to. I was young, and hopeful.... and stupid."

Alex raised an eyebrow in surprise. That had been the harshest word she had yet to hear Eta say.

"I thought there was some way I could make the finances work out," the slave continued. "But there wasn't. I started missing payments. I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't think. I couldn't act. I eventually felt so hopeless, so directionless. There was so much needing to be done around me, I couldn't focus on my work or on myself. Things started collapsing, and in the end I lost my apprenticeship as well. Eventually the bank stepped in. There is nothing more shameful in Imperial society than having debts one is unable to pay, so I had no choice but to let them do whatever was required to settle the balance."

"That does not sound voluntary to me!" Alex exclaimed, once again enraged by the injustice she was hearing.

"I apologize, I am doing my best to reach that part of the story," ET4H2-5C murmured before continuing hesitantly. Alex fumed in anger.

"The bank took both properties. Everything I owned. Sold it all. But even then, there was outstanding balance. And so, like countless Imperials before me, and countless who will come after, I sold myself to settle the debt."

"Still not voluntarily," growled Alex.

"I am doing my best to reach that part of the story," ET4H2-5C repeated softly, causing Alex to pause in confusion. She had assumed this was that part of the story.

"At first I was mortified. Like you said previously I had given up so much. But very quickly I realized I had gained something considerable in return. I gained focus, I gained purpose."

"Even before my parents' deaths, I found life around my work could be so overwhelming. Maintaining my home, managing my expenses, deciding how I would travel, responding to communications, deciding what to wear. Many days it was... too much. But after I became a slave, all those things melted away. Suddenly there was nothing but the work. There was no stress of maintaining a home, because I had no home. No stress of planning a wardrobe because I had a uniform," she added, laying a hand on her side.

"It was so easy to focus on my work because there was nothing around it. I learned so much, I progressed so quickly! Most people take nine to ten years to reach Engineering Technician Fifth Class. I did it in Seven!" she exclaimed, a tone of excitement and pride peeking out from beneath her usual stoic and formal way of speaking.

"And then I discovered there were still ways of getting some of the... simple pleasures I desired..."

"Like women?" asked Alex with an amused expression.

"I... wouldn't exactly put it like that... but yes," ET4H2-5C replied, blushing.

"But.. with getting the simple pleasures I desired, it started to feel as if I had only given up the unimportant things. It was as if.... As if......." Eta stammered, starting to lose momentum in her words and struggling to put together the right ones.

"As if a great cloud had lifted, leaving only the object of your attention alone in a pristine room?" Alex offered gently, puzzle pieces clicking together in her head.

"Precisely!" the slave exclaimed before freezing, a look of shocked realization crossing over her face as she instantly recognized those words as ones she had often used in her dairy.

"Yeah I found... your notes in the back of the textbook too," Alex admitted sheepishly. "I'm a massive hypocrite, I'm sorry."

A long uncomfortable silence fell over the pair, before Eta finally spoke.

"Then you already know all this," she said simply as she reached over and picked up the book she had been reading. She softly turned it over and let her eyes drift across the so familiar title, 'Proto Heat Radiators -- A Guide to Heat Dissipation from Vessels in Space.'

"I didn't read all of it okay?" Alex protested, her embarrassment momentarily replaced by confusion at seeing the woman's own diary had been Eta's reading choice. "I just skimmed it. I was... curious what kind of person I had on board. But you also write in very formal, sometimes poetic language. I didn't even fully understand what that line about the pristine room meant until just now."

To her surprise the slave let out a soft laugh. Alex glanced over, and the woman met her gaze with no anger in her eyes.

"After I woke up today one of things you said was that I was on a ship I did not know, with a person I had never met. That was true, but you didn't mention that to you, I was also a stranger. I know you took a great risk being so willing to bring me aboard and let me recover on your ship. And if you refuse to blame me for fearing you and making a fool of myself, then how can I be any less forgiving?"

Alex furrowed her brow as she squinted at her passenger.

"Okay I shouldn't be complaining that you're not mad. But it's not like I was concerned you were dangerous. It was more just nosey curiosity."

Eta shrugged.

"I admit I would not have brought your attention to this if you hadn't found it. But genuinely, I do not mind that you read it. I'm surprised..... but not upset. I give you my word," she said as she gently laid her diary between them. A peace offering of sorts. Alex blinked in confusion and made no move towards it.

"But you did go to an effort to hide it. That's why it's in the back of a technical book right? Why hide it if you don't mind people reading it?"

"No no," ET4H2-5C clarified. "I said I did not mind you reading it. It... is hidden to keep it out the eyes of my superiors within the Empire."

"What makes me so special?" asked Alex warily.

"One of the unfortunate aspects of being a slave, is that there are so many things one cannot talk about. Cannot express. This book was where I wrote the things I could not say. If it was read by those within the Empire, my words would be considered... unbecoming. But you do not treat me as a slave, despite my objections. So to you they are just thoughts: nothing.... scandalous."

"But you should still be allowed to keep your thoughts to yourself. There's some very personal stuff in there," Alex retorted, nodding towards the book.

"I've been happy to share that 'personal stuff' with you when asked, have I not?" Eta pointed out. "Sometimes.... it is nice to be able to share one's thoughts. Especially with one... who has been so kind."

"Wait...." Alex began slowly, an eyebrow climbing. "I assumed you were just too polite to tell me to fuck off with my questions. But are you... enjoying chatting?"

The slave wore a startled expression as she replied.

"While you are correct, that is not something I would ever dare say to you. Yes I am thankful for your company and conversation," she said with a nod. Alex gave a relieved smile.

"Well I still promise to leave your stuff alone from now on," she said with a slight chuckle as she reached over and gently pushed the book back towards Eta. "But if you're enjoying the chat, then I'm happy to provide. Please... carry on."

Eta returned the smile before taking a moment to compose herself.

"There is not much more. But being a slave gave me focus, gave me direction, gave me purpose. It gave me a place where I could excel further than I ever had before."

She paused for breath before continuing.

"And so, a year and a half ago I was summoned for a meeting with the Director. A man far above my Supervisor. He told me that my accumulated wages as a slave had finally settled my debt. I no longer owed credits. He told me I could apply to have my citizenship reinstated. He told me there were programs in place to help me do that, and to help me restart life as a full citizen. But after what I had gained from being a slave. After how much I benefitted when all my peripheral obligations were removed... I declined his offer. I chose to remain what I am," she said. Her calm tone not matching the magnitude of the statement.

"You said the first time did not sound voluntary. And it wasn't. Not really. Yes there was no gun to my head as I signed my freedom away. But I saw no alternative. The second time however, that was fully voluntary. You've said you wanted to sit in the pilot's chair: holding the controls and steering where you go. But I don't want to be the pilot of my life. I prefer when others do the steering and the navigating. I have learned I am... genuinely happier when I belong to someone else."