What is a Slave without a Master? Ch. 08

Alex was silent for a long moment, an uneasy expression on her face. She wanted to object; she wanted to demand Eta explain what the hell she was thinking by choosing to keep being a slave when she had the option not to. But the woman already had. And while Alex might not agree with it, at the same time she couldn't deny that if that's what Eta really wanted....

She stared down at her empty food container as she realized she had been holding her breath. She let it out slowly as her shoulders sank.

"You... truly did enjoy your life with the Empire?"

"I did."

"And... you genuinely want to go back?"

".... I do," Eta confirmed after a slight hesitation.

"In that case.... I guess I owe you an apology," Alex said wearily. Eta's eyes widened in surprise.

"What? No no, Miss Alex. Please do not apologize to me," she said in confusion. But Alex shook her head.

"I gave you a lot of shit on the way here for saying you wanted to go back. I... think I assumed you didn't realize there were alternatives, or that you didn't have to, or whatever. But if going back is what you.... genuinely want to do.... I.... I hate the idea of slavery, I'm going to be totally honest with that. I hate how it takes away people's choices. But you.... choose it. And even if I don't like it, it's your choice to make, and I'll respect it. We'll... find you an open S&R office as soon as we can," she concluded sincerely.

A gentle silence fell over the pair for several moments. Eta looked to be carefully mulling Alex's words over in her head before she finally spoke.

"Please understand that I do not blame you for disapproving. And now... the kindness and understanding you've shown me.... I simply don't know how to thank you enough."

Alex let out a tired laugh as she shook her head.

"You really need to set your bar a little higher. All I'm doing is stopping being a judgy bitch."

"You were never... that, Miss," Eta reassured quickly.

"If you... liked being a slave. I can just call you your designation. I'm sorry for getting on your case about a name."

"Again... please do not apologize to me, Miss Alex. I know you had nothing but the best of intentions. And.... I do like Eta. The name was a very thoughtful gift you've given me, and I would be honored to keep it, it's that's alright?" the slave replied nervously.

"Then please do," Alex answered as she felt her fatigue begin to catch up with her.

"But.... I'm really sorry. I'm fading here. I need to go to bed," she added as she stretched out her neck. Although as her mind drifted further in that direction a sudden thought caused her to groan and swear quietly under her breath.

"Miss Alex? Is something wrong?" Eta asked, noticing the Commander's pause.

"I just realized... I don't have a good place for you to sleep," Alex said awkwardly.

"I will be more than happy to sleep on the floor. It would be no troub-" but Eta was unable to continue before Alex stopped her.

"You are not sleeping on the floor," she said flatly before casting her mind around, but begrudgingly only coming up with one alternative.

And so an hour later after Eta had hastily finished her meal and the food containers had all been fed into the Peregrine's garbage compactor, Alex lay on her bed, wrapped in her sleeping bag and staring at the ceiling as she tried to nod off. Her eyes lingered on the access panel, noting that her passenger had fixed it true to her word. Her passenger, by the by, who's soft breathing that could be felt from outside the bag not far away.

But just as Alex felt herself begin to drift off, the woman next to her gave a sudden jerk. Alex cracked an eye open. In the dark she could barely make out the shape of Eta next to her, but she could both feel and see the woman shaking. She caught the sound of low rapid breathing, and after a moment realized Eta was in the grips of a nightmare.

"Ah fuck," Alex whispered to herself, instinctively pulling a hand out of her bag and placing it on the woman's shoulder.

"Eta," she hissed. Her passenger gave no response. But as soon as Alex's hand touched her, her body grew still, and Alex listened over the next several seconds as her breathing slowly returned to normal. Alex let go tentatively, but almost immediately the shaking and rapid breathing resumed.

Alex clamped her hand quickly back onto Eta's shoulder as she let out a long sigh.

"Alright. Come here. Please don't make this weird," she muttered under her breath as she unzipped the side of her sleeping bag and reached out. She wrapped an arm around Eta and pulled the sleeping woman's back up against her chest. Finding a position where she could keep contact with her while also lie comfortably herself.

Come morning, Alex didn't know how long she spent lingering on the edge of consciousness before finally waking. When she did she found herself and Eta exactly where she remembered them, and laid there until the sleep had fully faded from her brain. Once she was certain she was conscious she absentmindedly trained her ears on Eta's breathing. She was pleased to hear it much calmer than the night before and coming in a gentle and predictable rhythm. A very predictable rhythm.

"You're already awake.... aren't you?" Alex asked with a groan.

"Yes... I am. Good morning, Miss Alex," came the nervous reply. Alex let out another groan as she removed her arm from around Eta and rolled onto her back.

"Good morning to you too," she replied, embarrassment and discomfort mixing in her head. It was a long moment before Eta spoke again.

"... Thank you... for holding me during my nightmare. I... apologize I put you in a position where you felt you needed to comfort me," she said softly.

Alex cracked an eye open, glancing over at her passenger in surprise. Eta had carefully rolled herself over as well so she was facing Alex, but still refused to meet her gaze: her cheeks flushed.

"Uh.. you're welcome? I'm glad you don't think I was making a move on you or something, but how did you know that was what I was doing?" she said gratefully as she pulled herself up into a sitting position.

"In my nightmare I was back on the Megaship under attack. But there was a moment when you came to my aid, and when I woke up you were holding me. It felt... reasonable to conclude they were related. And after everything you've done for me, I would never assume bad intentions from you, Miss Alex," Eta said simply without rising. Alex let out an embarrassed laugh as she scratched the back of her head.

"I... appreciate that," she finally said. "But why were you apologizing? I didn't want to just leave you like that."

Eta continued to not meet Alex's gaze, and embarrassed look on her face.

"You've already done more for me than I can list... I don't want to make you feel like you must do more," she said, her voice sounding very small even in the small bedroom.

"Eta, nothing I have done for you has been any significant burden on me. I promise it's okay. But... how are you feeling post-nightmare?" Alex asked gently. Eta finally looked up at her, a grateful smile on her lips.

"Much better now. Thank you, Miss," she said with a nod.

"Well I'm glad to hear that," Alex said as she swung her legs off the bed, standing to her feet and stretching the last of the sleep out of her muscles. She crossed the room towards her lockers and began digging out a flight suit as she heard Eta's feet softly landing on the floor behind her. When she turned back, Eta was crouched down, quickly relacing her boots. Other than them the woman had slept in her full uniform. Eta seemed to be aware Alex was watching her and spoke hesitantly as if wanting to break the silence.

"I like.... the flowers on your shoulder. They are very pretty," she said awkwardly. Alex raised an eyebrow and glanced down. She had slept in a simple tank top and shorts, which had left her tattoo on display. It was a bundle of three roses, their deep crimson heads positioned on the top her shoulder with their leaves reaching down as far as her collarbone. Their stems were braided together and ran down her arm: coming to a stop just above her elbow.

"Um, thank you?" she said in surprise. "I got it a bunch of years ago. I.... like roses. As you say they look pretty while still able to be dangerous when they need to," she chuckled. Eta blushed but gave a nod.

"Anyway.... sorry to kick you out but I kinda need to get dressed," Alex said awkwardly as she gently shooed her passenger out the door.

"I'll be out in a minute, we'll have breakfast. Please don't be sitting on the ground when I come out. I promise you're allowed to use my stools," she added as the door closed.

When she exited a few minutes later, once again dressed in her leather jacket over a flight suit, Eta was indeed sitting obediently on one of the stools. Alex walked over to the counter across from the woman and pulled two food cartridges out of the cabinet. She plugged them into her food printer, and the machine began stringing together the loose proteins, carbohydrates, and whatever else into something reminiscent of food. As it whirred away, she turned to face her passenger.

"So... are you sure everything is okay? I know yesterday you weren't keen on hugs, and full-on spooning is.... even more than that," she asked, still a little worried.

"I...." Eta began awkwardly as she blushed. "You're referring to after the Interdiction yesterday? In that moment I was... surprised. And combined with your.... unexpectantly high praise I was caught off guard. I apologize. I actually .... do quite enjoy them."

Alex raised an amused eyebrow in surprise. Eta blushed even harder.

"I am still apologetic I made you feel you had to comfort me during the night. But I was not made uncomfortable by you doing so. In fact it was.... pleasant. But please don't think you must provide me physical contact!" she clarified in a panic.

"Not unless you want..." but she quickly stopped her stammering, clamping her hands over her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please pay me no mind, I'll be silent," she managed, sounding mortified. But Alex couldn't help letting out a laugh.

"Ahhhhh, you're adorable," she chuckled as she shook her head slowly. "But it's all good, I promise. You make a lovely teddy bear," she added, trying to make light of the situation. Eta peaked out hesitantly from between her fingers, and when she saw that Alex looked relaxed, she nervously lowered her hands before swallowing.

".... thank you.... miss... and in that case, yes..... I think everything is o-kay," she said awkwardly, the casual word sounding strange in her mouth. "Thank you, Miss Alex," she repeated.

"May I ask... what is your intention for the day?" she added after a moment, sounding like she was trying to change the subject.

The machine behind Alex let out a ding, and the woman turned to pull out the food. She tore open one of the paper cartridges, looking inside at the hot milk and oats, mixing with berries and nuts. It was of course none of those things, but that's what it looked like.

"First, food," said Alex as she handed over the cartridge to Eta along with a spoon before opening the other for herself. As she did, she pursed her lips before glancing up at the ceiling.

"Hey Verity, do you know if the S&R office is still closed?"

"According to Tantalaigh Orbital Starport network directory, the Search and Rescue office remains closed, Commander."

"Thank you, Verity," Alex replied as she shot her passenger a pointed look and a smile.

Eta blushed again and dropped her gaze.

"Well it looks like you're stuck with me a while longer. So I'm going to head back into the Starport to find a job that needs doing. Probably some cargo someone needs ran to a neighboring system, but who knows. Fingers crossed we end up somewhere with a proper Search and Rescue for you," she said with a shrug as the two began to eat.

"May.... may I ask you a question Miss?" Eta asked after a moment, the thought burning in her mind.

"What's up?" Alex asked, intrigued.

"Last night," Eta began hesitantly. ".... you said.... you had assumed I didn't realize there were alternatives to going back to the Empire. What.... alternatives do you see?" she asked, refusing to meet Alex's gaze.

The Commander stood silent for a long moment studying her passenger.

"Are you asking.... because you're considering alternatives?" Alex asked flatly.

"No, no," Eta quickly stammered. "I am just... curious as to what you were imagining."

Alex stood a while longer, looking unconvinced.

"Well..." she finally began. "I'm sure the offer of getting your citizenship back didn't go away. You could still go get it right?"

"I presume so," Eta said slowly.

"From everything I've seen you're an amazing technician," Alex said simply. "With your citizenship, any ship or Starport in the galaxy would be falling over themselves to hire you. I sure as fuck wouldn't be able to afford you. But I suppose... that doesn't get you what you want. Someone else taking away all the fluff and letting you focus..."

"What do you mean you wouldn't be able to... afford me?" Eta asked in surprise.

"I'm a freelance pilot. I make enough money I can keep myself comfortable, but I ain't rich. I couldn't afford to hire a technician like you full time," Alex said with a shrug, but she was still looking at her passenger suspiciously. Eta gave no response.

"Look," Alex continued with a sigh. "It's your decision, and I don't want to influence you. Just... promise me the choice isn't being made based only on 'what you think a good slave would do,' or anything like that."

"I promise, Miss Alex," Eta nodded quickly. "As I said.... I did enjoy my life with the Empire."

Alex was silent another moment before giving a nod and downing the rest of her breakfast.

"Well.... I should head off and see where my next paycheque is coming from. Are you okay to stay here and read again?"

Eta nodded gratefully.

"Cool," Alex remarked, before pointing at the stool Eta was sitting on. "This is me explicitly saying that you are allowed to sit on the furniture. Be back in a while."