PainLove - Bk. 02 - Ch. 10-15

Chapter 10

Most mornings in the park, a pretty woman would detour from her run over to say hello and pet his dogs. She was of a slender build, she struck Rob a quite fit. Her hair, at the dark end of blond, was in a high pony tail as she exercised, but looked shoulder length. She always had a smile on her face. Rob thought her very attractive. He guessed she was younger than himself, by a little. She was always nice to his dogs; they took an instant liking to her despite their reticence toward most people. Rob and she usually made some small talk for a bit before going back to what they were doing. Rob seemed to bump into her almost every day, they seemed to have longer conversations. There was something familiar about her, Rob learned her first name, Kate, but didn't ask for any more information.

On a Thursday morning in August, about three months after he had left Helena and Marion, his doorbell rang. He went to see who it was and saw a van from a well-known media shop in front of his house. Two men were unloading a large carton from the van. The man at his door asked him to to sign for the delivery. Rob had ordered nothing and was expecting nothing. He argued with the man from the shop for a few minutes. Then a man dressed in a dark suit approached him and asked the man from the shop to wait for a few minutes.

The man in the suit explained. "Rob, you don't know me, but you probably know we have you under surveillance, I or one of my colleagues. I imagine you understand, you've taken a good look at me a few times, sitting in the car. I realize this must seem pretty weird to you, but could you accept this telly and all that comes with it? Would you please sign and let them do their job? If you don't want it, you can give it to me; my children will be very pleased." He grinned. "I'm joking. Please, though, cooperate. There's also a new DVD player. You're being given this kit because I have a DVD to give to you in person and ask if you would please view it. When you're done with it, you can phone me and give me your answer. The DVD is a recorded message from Helena; she wants to apologize and tell you something important. That is what this is all about."

Rob shrugged. "I can watch a DVD using my computer." He had the impulse to give Helena something to worry about. "Since I'm about to move to Sweden I don't want any more stuff." The man's comment had gave him an idea, he went to the delivery van. He gave Helena's address to the driver, telling him to knock on the back door and tell whoever answered he'd been told to bring the cartons to the basement for storage.

When the delivery van was gone, he turned back to the security operative, who asked, "Sweden? What takes you to Sweden?"

Rob had just improvised a quick response, but the interest suited him. "I found a good position there," he replied casually. "I've decided to live outside of the U. K. for a while. Now, what about this DVD?"

The security man brought out a thin case from his coat pocket. Opening the case, Rob saw a DVD with no label on it, likely created on a computer. He lifted the DVD from the case. With a casual flip of his wrist he sailed the DVD out into the street, where it landed, bounced and rolled for a distance before stopping. "We're done here, I would say." Rob paused before he closed the door. "Oh, hey, wait. I want your supervisor to call me."

"Certainly sir, may I have your number?"

Rob chuckled. "I can't help but think your supervisor knows how to call me." He closed his door.

Within minutes his mobile rang, he answered. "Mr. Graham, this is Michael Haft, I supervise your security service. What can I do for you?"

"I want no security service. You are dismissed."

"I'm sorry, sir, it isn't your decision."

"Okay, Michael, know this. One day I will be so unhappy at seeing your car again that some of its glass will be broken."

"Sir, the best I can offer you is to be more discrete. Please do not violate the law. Do keep in mind the people in the car are quite capable of defending themselves."

"Michael, you tell Helena I resent being monitored. I no longer have anything to do with her and if she doesn't cancel you watching over me, it will soon turn unpleasant."

"Sorry, sir, who is Helena?"

"Well, I must admit you're good at your job." Rob ended the call. He paused to add Michael's phone number to the contacts in his phone.

The next day a middle-aged woman, who looked nothing like a security operative, handed him another copy of the DVD as he walked the dogs in the morning. Each day a copy of the DVD managed to reach him. It was left on his doorstep when he was out, it was dropped through the mail-slot on this door. On the fifth day of this persistence, he found it tied to his doorknob with a pretty ribbon. He shrugged, he had to give Helena credit for persistence and decided to watch the thing.

He put the DVD into his computer. The video started with Helena leaning against her desk in the library, arms folded. Marion stood beside her. Rob immediately noticed they didn't look so good, the dark areas under their eyes showed a lack of sleep. Their faces were solemn.

Helena looked to her left, beyond Marion, then turned to the camera and spoke. "Dear friend of mine, friend to both of us. First I want to apologize for what we did to you. We talked after you left and I realize our dreadful mistake. We couldn't reach you on your mobile, even after we dug out your old home phone number we couldn't reach you there. I knew just coming to your flat would be in vain.

"Your sudden departure was such a painful blow. You can see we look awful, we just aren't sleeping well at all. Each night I keep myself awake thinking about how I make you come back. I just feel miserable all the time without you.

"I know I was wrong, I understand your anger, but Rob, some of the things you said to us are nearly unforgivable. I need to see you again, I need to hold you again, but I also need to hear your apology. I propose we just say you spoke in the heat and anger of the moment."

She paused, looking down.

"I sent you a little surprise, trying to get your attention. I though it would show you I, we, are thinking about you. I understand it was a mistake, I should have known better. You must not hold the attempt against me, I was desperate to get in contact with you, I would have tried anything. You threw her out so quickly. Still she managed to leave my letter with you, giving me some hope. When it came back to me, unopened, I decided I had to contact you through more drastic measures.

"I remembered how it takes you time to get over things. Since it looks like you are not coming back anytime soon, it appears you still need time to work things out in your own mind, forgive us and decide how you will ask for our forgiveness. We've decided to follow your lead, a break will do us all good. In a few days we're going on holidays, Marion, Kim and I. We plan to be gone for about four weeks. Since I still intend to be your wife, I've decided if you don't want to live in my house, I will come to live in yours when we return. Marion and I have decided to live at your place; it will be much easier for us to make up and set things right."

Helena continued with a sad smile. "If you accept my idea I made some arrangements. Someone will call you soon for an appointment for a decorator to come to look at your flat. Since I'm moving in, I decided to give all your bedrooms a make-over. Please let me do this for us, Rob."

There was another pause with Helena looking down again. "Rob, there is one more thing, my sister has returned from Australia. She won't join us on our holiday; she has traveled quite enough recently, she just wants some quiet. She's not at all like me, but she has been hurt by a man and we have welcomed her as a member of our circle. You understand what I mean by this. You made a promise to me, Rob, a promise to every member of the circle, at the ceremony in my basement. I'm told you already see her almost daily, I suggested to her she introduce herself. If she chooses to make herself known to you, then you will fulfill your commitment to any member of the circle who has a need. She knows all about you, she told me she really wants to get in touch with you, get to know you better. She understands the promise you made to the circle. Like all your friends of the circle, you must be her friend. When she asks for it, you must be a lover for her. Please be gentle with her. She was abused, beaten, humiliated, you have no idea. The humiliation in the games we play is child's play compared to her experiences.

"Rob, we, every member of the circle, want you to know, we're waiting for you to return as you know you must." Helena smiled defiantly. "Prepare yourself, your flat as well, for an invasion of love as soon we come back from our holiday."

"Please think of me, think of Marion and Kim, we all love you very much. You can always reach me on my mobile, it has worldwide service. Be safe dear, I love you and we'll see you in four weeks. And hugs to your new children, I'm sure I'll like them, in fact, it took me all my self-control not to visit you right away and find out for myself." Marion and she blew him a kiss and the screen went black.

Rob was puzzled by the video. First, what did he have to apologize for? Of all the things he had thought about saying during that miserable night, he thought what he'd actually said in the morning quite tame. He wondered if she was upset he left instead of talking more. His decision to leave was because it was clear she was not going to understand if he simply talked about it.

Her plan to move into his flat was odd. At least it explained why her security was watching the neighborhood.

Then this sister and his "obligations"to the circle. He remembered the ceremony, he had been caught up in the moment, he'd made promises. Even so, he recalled Helena saying "All these women present. "Apparently she had the privilege of amending his commitments on her own. But in his defense, this took place in the playroom, such as it was. He had interpreted the ceremony as a game. Had he thought his words would come back to him later as a more universal commitment, he'd have been far more guarded in his promises. This sister wasn't even a member of the circle at the time of the ceremony. What if Helena takes in a dozen more?

He had the impulse to talk to Helena, she didn't deserve to be in isolation any more. He picked up his mobile, took Helena's mobile number off the blocked list and, for the first time in weeks, he touched the button to call her on speed-dial.

Within seconds he heard her voice: "Oh thank you for calling me! I am so glad to hear your voice again, dear. But we're in the car on the way to the airport as we speak."

"I'm just calling to wish you all a very good holiday. Where are you going?"

"We're going to Miami, then a cruise in the Caribbean, then shopping in New York."

"Okay, well, have a lot of fun. I wish you good weather and smooth sailing. No doubt you'll be faced with romantic opportunities on the cruise ship. Be careful around all those pretty boys."

"When we come back, Rob, we shall start all over again. We have a lot to discuss, you, Marion and I."

"You and I have matters to discuss," he agreed with an important change in phrasing. He made a note to think through how he would present the changes necessary to bring him back into her life. He might start with his so-called promise to the circle and how she'd invoked it in the video. "One last question, what about your sister? You said she's different, in what way?"

"By different I mean normal. No S&M, no lingerie, a bit dull actually. Still, she needs a shoulder to cry on."

"Helena, I think I understand. I can give her a shoulder to cry on. But I promise nothing further." He thought it odd Helena was willing to leave her sister alone at a time she had such needs. "Well, bon voyage. After you've returned we can consider whether you move to my place. It may not suit you. Please give my best to Marion and Kim."

"Until soon, my dearest," Rob could hear her stifle a sob as she hung up.

Chapter 11

Rob got out of bed with a strange feeling. He expected to meet Helena's sister today. He imagined it was Kate, the runner, she'd been so quick to introduce herself in the park. Leave it to Helena to set up her sister as his stalker. Earlier than usual he was heading to the park, dogs on their leads, watching all the runners.

Kate was running the streets on her way to the park. She was puzzled. Helena said she'd told Rob about her, but Rob hadn't been making the connection. He should have had the news more than a week before, but had done nothing. Helena said something had upset him, was he so angry with Helena he'd give the cold shoulder to Helena's sister?

She ran reached the park and started around the perimeter, her usual route. She spotted the dogs first, walking with Rob. She changed her course only slightly to reach them. She greeted the dogs first, as usual, when Rob spoke first. "Good morning Kate. I understand you're a Berkeley. Do you want to have coffee at my place and talk?"

The smile Kate gave him was smaller than she'd expected. "I'd been hoping you would ask me much sooner."

"I found out only yesterday you're Helena's sister, that you would want to talk."

Only yesterday was odd, but she let it pass. "Yes, she said you probably wouldn't just pick me up, thought I admit, once I'd met you, I was hoping you would. She really knows you."

"In some ways yes, in others not at all. She's told you we've quarreled?"

"Yes, but she was vague about it."

"Then I have a lot to tell you. Please, let's go." He gestured in the direction to his house. "Why do you run here, by the way?"

"I wanted to see my sister's soul mate."

"She still speaks of me that way?" Rob was surprised. He'd assumed Helena would think less of him after everything collapsed.

"You have no idea, what hell you have put her through. I arrived from Australia a few days after you left, she was happy to give me a place to stay in her house. But all she and Marion did, all day, every day, was cry about how stupid they had been. They fought over who was more responsible for what happened. A lady named Cathy visited the second night I was home. I didn't join them, I made a point of staying away, but you know how voices carry out of the living room up the stair to the first floor. It seemed to me Cathy was furious, she spoke quite forcefully, lecturing them. She used the words consent and consensual at lot. Each time one of them would answer, 'yes, I know.' After Cathy left, they were feeling pretty small. They were crying when Cathy left, it seemed to me Cathy was crying too. Rob it was all about you. You must be very special."

"Humph! I'm not special, I'd say I'm quite common. They have some mistaken notions."

They reached his flat, Rob led the way inside. Kate began looking around as she walked in. "You have a cozy place here." She inspected his bookshelves. Several titles and subjects attracted her attention: fashion, history, the world wars, classic and contemporary novels as well as a small collection of science fiction and fantasy books. She took one out and asked after an instant of hesitation. "This is an odd book in your collection: SM101."

Rob shrugged, not making eye contact as he switched on BBC Radio 3, to put some classical music in the background. "I have a wide set of interests." He intended to make her no wiser, but the way he responded told Kate something about him, maybe something about his relationship with Helena as well. She asked him directly, she wanted to know. "Are you and Helena into S&M Rob? Are you a dominant over these women?"

Rob decided she'd just be confused if they hopped around in response to her questions. "I'm going to make coffee, unless you'd prefer tea. I'll tell you the story, then you can decide for yourself if I am into S&M."

"You said 'I', is it different with Helena than with you?"

Rob liked Kate, both for her direct style but also because she was sensitive, seeing nuances others missed. "It depends on your point of view. I don't want to jump out into the middle of the story, but I'll say this: I like a little S&M, kind of soft, just enough to get really randy. It seems Helena is interested in becoming a Mistress -- my mistress. It's not me dominating Helena, it's her dominating me. I'm happy to submit to her, just not as far nor as often as she's already tried. Marion is an experienced mistress and wants to train Helena. In short, that is the root of our quarrel."

"I see." Kate nodded, though he wasn't convinced she fully understood.

"It should be clearer if I start at the beginning, with how we met, then bring you to where we are now."

Rob waved Kate to a chair at his table in the kitchen. As he made coffee, he started at the very beginning, with Jenny, how he met Marion, then met Helena.

Kate looked at him in disbelief. "So you are a transvestite?"

"I wouldn't use that word. I refer to myself as a cross-dresser."

"What is the difference?"

"I feel good wearing lingerie, it's exciting. I also enjoy certain female clothing, evening dresses for example or to be dressed as a French Maid, anything but the ordinary. Look, I'm just a guy in lingerie and a dress. I may dress feminine from the neck down, but I rarely use makeup or a wig, I'm not trying to look like a woman, I'm just enjoying wearing the clothes. A real transvestite goes all in, from from top to toe. A transvestite wants to look like a women as much as possible, wants to pass as a woman in public. For example, a transvestite might go shopping wearing jeans and a jumper; I'd prefer a fancy frock and I certainly don't go out. They wear tights and I hate them; only fully fashioned stockings for me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, to be honest."

"You don't find lingerie exciting?"

"Yes, a little. I don't get stockings, they're a lot of bother."

Rob put two cups of coffee on the table. "Let me show you what I mean."

Rob went into his room and returned with a new pair of stockings. "Pantyhose and tights aren't at all the same experience as stockings, the fabric is all different so they'll stretch." He laid it out next to her. "Run your fingers over this." Kate stroked her fingertips over the fine texture of the stockings.

"I've never realized I might like to feel that for myself." She paused for a moment, absorbed in the sensuous feel of the stocking. Then she looked up. "You were speaking about transvestites."

"Yes. Let me tell what I don't do. I don't wear a wig, jewelry or make-up. My ears aren't pierced. These are all things transvestites might do. Sometimes your sister tells me to wear a wig and make-up, not very often. But the rest, yes, I do wear, lingerie, stocking, including shoes. I'll often sleep in a nightgown. Helena likes to sleep with me in matching nightgowns."

Quickly summarizing the dreadful weekend at Marion's Rob described separating from Jenny, Helena's persistence and arriving at their agreement they would become engaged. He left out the pegging when he described the ceremony of the circle. "I understand from Helena you're to be treated as a member of the circle."

"Yes, she said to mention it to you." Kate didn't intend to say more until she knew him better.

Rob spoke of the proposal for Marion, the experienced mistress, to train Helena, with himself as the submissive. He told her Helena and he had been planning the new playroom. He explained who Cathy was, described his anger management training, then finally touched on the episode which led him to leave Helena's house.

Kate was quiet when he was finished, studying the coffee in her cup.

"Do I shock you? Now you know your sister plans to marry a cross dresser, lives with another Mistress and plans on having more women to live with us in. I suppose we should call it a polyamorous marriage." He paused. "It occurs to me she should have told you some of this."

Kate frowned. "I'd never have expected Helena to have ah, a kinky side. She is so disciplined, so conscious of her public image."

"Indeed. Out in the world, anywhere except with her very close circle of friends, she is cool, very much in control. In reality, in private, she's quite a sexual animal. And I love it, most of the time. I thought I loved her. But it's not all good for me. She can forget I require rest, I am not eighteen anymore." He shrugged. "If Helena ever decides to talk with me, it's one of the things that must be discussed."

"And the S&M, how is that? I never understood the idea, as part of sex." It seemed to Rob that Kate was suddenly less comfortable, asking this question.

"You can borrow that book from my shelf, SM101, it would be a good place to start. I haven't read everything there is, but I don't think more reading will help me. I know my limits, especially now I've done some more serious stuff. I just have to make them clear to Marion and Helena."

And what are your limits?"

"I enjoy the games, the excitement, the tension being built up. You know, building tension over even days can be nice. But, you see, doing the game every day can take away from the enjoyment because the tension is lost. And it seems their games kept escalating, getting harder on me each time. I'll like it a lot better if the S&M is infrequent, even irregular, and softer, not harsh.

"With Jenny, we just had the idea to play every few weeks. With Helena, under Marion's tutelage, they contrive reasons to start one much more often. Punishment for something stupid or even something out of your hands, might be okay, but not it if comes up twice daily. It's a game, which means you have rules and follow them for the game to work. But the 'punishments' simply cannot be about your real-life issues and absolutely never in genuine anger.

"So, there's a summary from my viewpoint. Of course, I told you about the parts I'm willing to do. You could ask Marion or Helena what they consider S&M."

"If you and Helena were getting along with the S&M, why are you separated?"

"So far most of my S&M experience has been with women who've ended up going too far. Marion did so, I doubt I'll ever again trust her to stick to agreed rules when playing a game. Now Helena has lost some trust with me. She must earn it back. The truth is, this time I was absolutely in a rage. I had to control myself; otherwise your sister could have ended up in hospital. I often leave her house to cool down. Usually it's to protect myself, that time frankly, I was protecting her."

"What on earth did she do to you?"

"I was incredibly tired because we had just come back from two days of pretty intensive S&M sessions, with Cathy, the anger management. I can tell you, being the sub is tiring. I now know a thing or two about being humiliated. Keeping my anger in check is tiring too. We got home late morning, I spent the afternoon yawning. I went to bed early. I went to bed in my bedroom, not Helena's bed. She and Marion came to my room wanting to play. God, I was so tired when they woke me, I could barely talk to them. They wanted to have a three-way, I guess. I protested I was tired, I refused. They decided I had to watch the two of them, but since I had declined to participate I wouldn't later be permitted to join in. Marion handcuffed me to the heating-pipe. I still was under the impression it was part of a game; otherwise I'd never let them chain me, but after their love making, they fell asleep with me naked on a chair, one hand chained down near the floor. When I yelled to be released, they just moved to another room, leaving me chained. I think it was all revenge for not doing what they wanted."

He drew a breath. "And as I tell you this, I'm getting angry again."

From the smoldering fire in his eyes, Kate saw these memories still upset him.

"I didn't sleep that night, I was so cold, I am surprised I had enough control to just leave instead of something more... more stupid. I spent the night alternating between planning revenge on them and figuring out how to break loose. I'm just lucky I was too tired, too stiff from where I'd spent the night, I could hardly move myself. It took everything I had to just get out of the house.

"She had so many chances to get it right and missed every one of them. The two of them thought only about themselves, they missed so many chances to have a little empathy. Even starting, she didn't consider how tired I was, going to bed early should have been a signal, she missed it. It was just plain stupid to leave me chained to a pipe overnight. In the morning, neither of them noticed me shivering with cold. In fact, after a night chained to a pipe, tortured you might say, they each expect me to kiss them and get on with the day.

"So she won't get my trust again, not without earning it. She could have released me, she had several chances, but she didn't. Marion, well, I think she's a bad influence on Helena. Her late husband was a lifestyle submissive, he was her play toy all the time. She imagines I'll become one and treats me from that assumption.

"They have much to explain. And then Helena, in her little video message, spent more time talking about the apology I owed them than apologizing herself."

Kate moved a little away from him when he angrily growled those final words. Rob noticed.

"Sorry Kate, did I scare you?"

"No, but now you remind me a bit of my ex-husband just now." Kate's voice was timid, with a hint of her underlying anger. "He abused me, physically and mentally."

"Oh! Dear God, what a fool. My dear, I am so sorry to hear that. I would like to say I'd never hit a woman. You can count the times on one finger. Just once I gave Jenny, my ex wife, a slap in the face, hard enough to make her fall on the bed. But it was moments after she betrayed my trust. We were supposed to be in a game, but she raped me."

Kate said nothing, looking pensive. Rob rose, refilled their cups, then arranged a plate of biscuits and set them on the table.

After waiting a bit, he decided to break the silence. "What other questions do you have?"

Kate raised her eyes. As she looked at him quite directly, he felt he was being appraised. "Helena said you're a real pussy-eater."

"Did she. And what else did she tell you?"

"You like to be taken by a second woman with a strap-on while you're fucking."

Rob was unhappy Helena told her something so intimate. "Is nothing safe?"

"No worries Rob, I just wanted to know all about you. Next time when you fuck Helena, perhaps I shall fuck you in your arse."

"No doubt you and Marion can take turns."

The bitterness in his voice surprised her. "Rob, what's the issue?"

"What promises did Helena make to you, about me?"

Kate hesitated, choosing her words. "She said you would take care of my needs."

"Sexual needs?"

Kate blushed. "Yes."

"Okay, imagine this,"Rob said. "You have a pretty serious disagreement with your boyfriend, you stop seeing him. After a couple of months, he's leaving to spend four weeks abroad and he tells you his brother just came to town. You must meet each other because your boyfriend promised his brother, the brother you've never met, you would have sex with him."

Kate looked at him, a blank look on her face. "No sensible boyfriend would say that to me."

"Aren't you acting on just such a promise, from Helena, about me?"

Slowly Kate realized what he meant. She mover her chair closer to Rob, reached out and put her arms around him, her head coming to his shoulder. "I see I'm learning from my sister to be presumptuous. Of course she has no right to tell me you'll have sex with me. You didn't even know about it."

Rob moved a hand to her back. He wasn't interested in her sexually, but it was nice to feel an embrace. "Just one more thing Helena must answer. I should add Helena made this promise to you despite the fact I had just stormed out of her house and she knew she had wronged me."

He eased her out of his arms and sat back. "Kate, I'll be your friend, I'll show you around town, I'll serve you coffee, I'll serve you dinner. You know I'm available for long walks, the dogs assure you of that. We can go out for dinners, we can go dancing, if you want we can go out for a pub crawl and get drunk. I absolutely will listen to you if you have things to say. But having sex with you, well, to be blunt, you have several strikes against you. Your sister just gave me to you, a barrier bigger than you realize. You don't seem at all the kind of lady who does pick-ups or one-night stands nor am I a man for such. I barely know you, we don't have the kind of relationship to just decide to make love. The fact is, I'm already in that kind of relationship with someone else and it's your sister no less."

Rob looked down. Kate couldn't help but notice his ragged inhalation.

"What else?"

Rob's voice was sad. "Helena, in turn, keeps wanting me to have sex with the women of her circle."

"Why is it a bad thing? You wife-to-be-is setting you up with women for sex, why is that bad?"

"These aren't one-time things, these are women I care for, women who care for me. And, it seems, they all fall in love with me. Part of my response, you see, is to protect you from falling in love with me when so many other women already are. You deserve better than to join the circle and wait your turn."

There was a long silence neither felt the need to fill. When Kate lifted her head, Rob could see the tears in her eyes. "I think you're even better than Helena told me you were. There isn't a man in a thousand who would turn down sex with a woman to protect her from falling in love." She paused, looking away, then her eyes were back on his. "But, Rob, there's something I could really use. May I sleep with you?"

Rob smiled to her, pulled her head back to rest on his shoulder. "If you need that comfort, my dear, you shall have it, but no sex. First, though, you should find out whether I am as good a listener as you seem to think."

She smiled. "No worries there. I think you're exactly the listener I should speak with about my life in Australia."

Chapter 12

Inca and Nicky needed another walk. Kate and Rob each took one dog's leash. Walking through the park, Kate began telling Rob more about herself. Rob gave her dinner, nothing fancy, just soup and a toasted cheese sandwich. He learned she was a guest in Helena's house. "It's no one but me right now, the rest are off on some holiday travel."

"Why don't you come stay here for a time? There are three bedrooms here, I can give you all the privacy you want. But I'll require some privacy too, I work from home and I join long conference calls a few times each week."

Kate left shortly after dining with Rob to return to Helena's house, a drive of nearly an hour. Rob realized she had been driving so far for a run most days, just to see him each morning. That did sound a bit like stalking. She came back in the mid-morning next day, with enough clothes to spend a week with him in Oxford.

Her story came out slowly over the next few days, a bit at a time. She moved to Australia to take a great job, working in one of the museums in Sydney. She loved her job, but knowing few people in a strange new city, far from home, she felt lonely. She recognized afterward the man who swept her off her feet and quickly married her took advantage of her loneliness.

"He didn't mind my isolation, in fact sometimes I thought he was keeping me isolated. He actually told me there was a reason I had no friends." There was emotional abuse, he would call her ugly, criticize small things, forbade her any social life. "He was even upset I stopped at the public library on my way home from work every few weeks."

Once, claiming her cooking was inedible, he'd swept everything from the dining table onto the floor, then told her to have the whole house clean by the time he came home from eating at the local pub. Not long after, he'd hit her for the first time. He didn't hit her very often, but she was always on guard, because he seemed to hit her for no reason at all.

It got worse. "Do you know how a husband can rape a wife?" Kate asked Rob, her voice soft.

He looked at her soberly. "Anyone who is pulled into sex against their will is being raped, as well as anyone for whom the sex they consented to moves on to something they don't want to do." He sighed. "That, I understand all too well."

Kate thought it was a one-time event, her ex had come home drunk and been especially demanding. Raping her a second time, this time with no drink to blame, was his mistake. Kate found her strength and moved out the next day while he was at work. He never let her have much money, assuming money would keep her trapped, never aware Kate had access to family money. Helena made a wire transfer, more than enough to pay for a flat in a building that had security, just down the street from the museum where she worked. Kate engaged one of the best divorce barristers in Sydney. It took many months and it took Kate having the courage to be questioned by her husband's barrister in court, but she got her divorce and took his house. She sold the house, she paid to have most of her clothes shipped. She had been back in the UK for just a few months.

She finished her story as they stood in the dusk at the foot of the stair up to Rob's front door, returning from giving the dogs their evening walk. He reached out to enclose her in a gentle embrace. "Kate, I hope I can give you back confidence not all men are brutes." It occurred to him he needed confidence not all dominas are cruel.

They stood there holding each other until the whining from the dogs at the top of the stair made them aware of the time.

As soon as they were inside, she had one more detail to add as she sat on the sofa. "Rob, he didn't just rape me, it was in my arse. It was so painful; I cried myself to sleep after." Saying these words out loud caused her to weep.

In an instant Rob was kneeling beside her, arms around her again. She sobbed on his shoulder for a while, then straightened up and asked him for a tissue. "I've only told one other person, my barrister. She thought it would be too much to for me to talk about it in open court so it didn't go into the abuse claims in the divorce petition."

Rob looked her directly in her eyes. "I've been raped in my arse as well, by Jenny, then my wife, with a dildo she knew was too large for me. There are few men who understand what happened to you as well as I."

He sat beside her. They spent a long time with their arms around each other, silently sharing consolation for their past troubles.

"Rob, may I sleep with you tonight? I'd really like to be held, like now, but all through the night. I need strong arms to protect me from my fears."

"Of course you're welcome in my bed tonight."

As they prepared for bed, he dug out an old set of men's pajamas. Kate came to his room in a nightgown. "Oh, no. I don't want to force you out of your usual nightwear. The truth is, I've been waiting to see you in a nightgown." It had never occurred to him she might want to see him cross-dressed. He chose a long nightgown, lavender with a white ribbon detail, and slipped it over his head, then slid off the cotton pants.

They both felt awkward at first. For a few minutes after Rob turned off the light, they lay in bed beside each other, not touching, not moving.

Kate moved to put her face close to his. "Rob, thank you for having the courage to let me see you this way. I feel closer to you, knowing I am keeping a secret with you."

Rob put out his hand and drew her to him. Moving her head to rest on his shoulder, she molded her body against his. Her fingertips moved slowly across his chest. "This feels nice," she said. "I expect there are many women who wouldn't mind their man showing he isn't always so manly. Too many men think masculine only means commanding or intimidating." She chuckled. "Or smelly. But I can feel your strength when you're comforting and supporting. I like this kind of tough guy very much."

Her fingers were moving down, tracing a pattern on his abdomen. Rob was disconcerted to find himself getting an erection.

"Helena said I should ask you to wear the silk pajamas, with the flowers. She said the silk is wonderful to sleep with and your floral choices are fun to see."

"Okay, tomorrow night then." He thought how to say what he must. "You are doing a very good job of seducing me."

Her fingers moved back up to his chest. "Sorry, I was just enjoying you in satin." Her fingers returned and found their way to his erection. She gripped him lightly and quietly chuckled, then her hand moved to his shoulder. "Sorry, will it be a problem for you?"

"Don't provoke me, I'll lose all self-control." He heard her soft laugh in the dark and smiled himself.

In the morning Kate insisted they have breakfast together in their nightgowns before dressing. When they went to bed Kate wanted to sleep with him again, reminding him to wear the floral silk pajamas. She quite enjoyed cuddling with Rob wearing silk. By unspoken agreement her fingers stayed on his shoulders and chest as she caressed the sensuous material.

The decorator Helena had promised called. Kate agreed to take charge of the changes. Work got underway. Rob and Kate moved down to the flat on the ground floor to stay out of the way. Rob had just completed making it suitable to rent out. Two weeks passed in a flurry of activity, a break from Rob's ordinary routine.

Chapter 13

After dinner one night, Kate wanted to talk about lingerie. "I've never paid much attention to lingerie. It never occurred to me lingerie could be for me to feel good, I always assumed it was for the benefit of someone else.

"Do you remember the first time you brought me back to your flat? The first time we talked, you mentioned stockings. In the warm weather of Australia I never wore stockings or tights. It was always bare legs. Tell me what you were saying, about why you like stockings?"

"It's because they feel so soft. Very much like a satin nightgown or those silk pajamas you like me wearing."

"I remember you showed me a pair of stockings and they did feel soft. Can I wear those stockings? I'd like to see how it feels."

"You'll also need a suspender belt; I'll get one for you."

"Rob wait. You must wear stockings with me; I want to see how it looks on you."

Rob blushed. He had no problems with women connected to the BDSM scene seeing him in stockings, but she knew so little of these things. "Are you sure? This puts you on the slippery slope. Right now you are still innocent. You can still enjoy the illusion what I told you isn't true, keeping your sister just your sister and not a novice S&M mistress."

"Show me Rob. Maybe I'll like it, maybe I won't, maybe something in between. I want to know and I want to start with the most innocent form: just showing our legs."

"Hmm," was all Rob could manage to say. They went to his bedroom; he gave her a pink lace suspender belt and showed her how to fasten the stockings to it.

"You can change in the bath."

"No, here in the bedroom is fine, we have so few secrets from each other now."

She began stripping, within a minute she stood completely naked before him. Her modest breasts didn't need a bra, but she had been wearing a sports bra. It seemed what she wore most of the time was practical but not luxurious.

He helped her put on the suspender belt, then gave her the matching pink lace briefs with a high-cut leg, showing her how to be sure the garter straps are threaded under the briefs. She giggled at his explanation of why she should do so. She sat on the edge of the bed and he guided her through drawing a stocking over her leg, checking the seam was straight and attaching the top to her garter clips. As she started on the second stocking she stopped. "Come on then, put yours on too."

He stripped as well, quickly putting on snug, black satin panties, embarrassed he had to hurry to conceal how quickly he was getting hard. He chose for himself a black waist-cincher, expertly drawing the laces tight behind him and tying them off. Black stockings went on his legs, he finished only just after Kate finished re-checking her seams.

Kate's pink suspender and briefs had a matching, half-cup bra as well. She looked at it if she was seeing something like it for the first time in her life; Rob realized she really had never paid attention to lingerie. As she put it on, he put on the black satin bra matching his panties.

They looked at each other. Kate saw Rob's face above a body given a much more feminine appearance by the lingerie he wore. Rob saw the bra presenting her beautiful, erect nipples peeking out through the sheer, lace cups. Rob took her to the mirror to look at herself.

"For me at least, Kate, lingerie is mainly about how I feel, far less about what others are permitted to see or how they feel about seeing me. How do you feel dressed like this?"

"I feel, I don't know, restless, alive, well, more alive. But I must admit I'm thinking mostly about being seen this way than about feeling myself dress this way."

"Then we must work a bit on making sure you feel what there is to be felt."

He led her to the bed and invited her to sit beside him; she did so and he caressed her legs; she reciprocated, then stroked a hand across his leg. "Have your legs ever felt so smooth?" He softly moved his leg against hers. "One of the most sensual things is to feel our legs gently rubbing together."

He felt her shivering. "Oh! That does feels good. Rob, I understand. I've never experienced something like this." She saw the non-feminine bulge in his panties and put her hand over it. "Will you make love to me Rob? You know Helena gave her permission and now you understand why she thinks you should. I can tell you'll be gentle and sweet. Rob, please help me move past what he did to me."

Rob took her in his arms, kissed her and guided her to lay on the bed. He knelt between her legs and slipped down the pink lace briefs she had pulled on only minutes before. He paused in pulling down the briefs to kiss her obviously wet pussy. She almost climaxed as soon as he ran a soft tongue across her clit. He backed off. He knew she would enjoy it so much more if he helped her relax first. He returned to kiss her cheeks, forehead and lips. As their tongues found each other, one of Rob's hands began tracing soft circles on her breasts, following along the lacy line of the bra cup, at first deliberately missing her her nipples. After a few passes, he brushed a finger across her nipples, then gently pinched. She moaned and clutched at his shoulders.

He realized she really did need this. She was likely to orgasm as soon as he touched her again. He was determined this night would be focused on her. With a final kiss, his tongue passing gently across her lips, he kissed his way down her body on his way to kiss her other lips. He was careful to start at the back end, teasing his way forward along her hot wet lips, savoring her flavor. When his tongue reached her clit, he touched her gently. Her response was strong, her hands went to his head to urge him on. He continue to lick very gently, it would have been just a start had he been with Helen or Marion.

"Oh, yes." She sighed softly. At that point Rob closed his lips and added gentle suction to supplement the motion of his tongue. "Ah!" She cried out, breathing in gasps. Soon she finished her orgasm; Rob intended she would have a few tonight. He continued licking, finding he was right, she started right in going back up to another peak. Her fingers lightly caressed the top of his head for a time, then she was pressing his face into her crotch.

"Oh, you're such a good licker!"She cried, her hips moving again. Rob was surprised how quickly she came the second time. He continued licking her.

The third time it took a more reasonable amount of time, but it was clear the effect was better too. Her whole body moved, she put a fist in her mouth, he saw she shed some tears. Pressing her thighs together on Rob's head, she came hard. Her soft cries, suppressed by her fist in her mouth made clear she enjoyed this and at the same time she was overwhelmed by her emotions.

Instead of pulling him in to lick more, her fingers were now pushing his head away. Rob slipped back just a bit and made a trail of soft, open-mouthed kisses across her inner thighs, occasionally but not often brushing a kiss on her wet lips. She was tense, he eased upwards to her. He kissed her on the cheek, then put his arm around her and guided her head to his shoulder. She experienced an occasional, little shudder as the pleasure came back to her. It took her some minutes to relax, enveloped in Rob's arms.

Finally, she sighed, saying, "Thank you. Never in my life have I enjoyed sex as just now. I see how much I've missed."

"I'm happy to help with your needs. You make me incredible horny, you're beautiful, your breasts are perfect and your pussy, mmm, I love the flavor of an excited woman."

"If I knew it would be like this, I would have asked you the first day of my arrival." She sighed. "But you said no, back then, didn't you?" Her fingers moved down until they reached his hard dick. "Nice, Rob! I have another position in mind. I want you to fuck me in my arse."

"Wasn't it bad for you, are you sure you want to repeat it?"

"Rob, you are so sweet again! It hurt when my ex just took me, yes, but I have the sense I'd like it in the hands of a gentle man, the kind of man who stops me and makes sure sure I want it instead of just agreeing. So, yes, if can be with you, Rob, I do want it, very much. Show me I can enjoy it, with the right man."

Kate rolled onto her hands and knees, presenting her bum to him, she even reached back with both hands to spread herself. On impulse, Rob placed a soft kiss at that intimate spot. He treated her the way he'd been treated when he'd liked a woman taking his arse with a dildo. With a bit of lubricant on one finger, he touched her hole, inserting gently. Kate moaned and pushed back against his finger, encouraging him to push in. After a few minute of one finger, he withdrew, put another finger beside the first and applied more lube in the valley between the fingers. She was even more vocal in her approval. "Yeah, Rob, it feel so good. You're so good to me."

He withdrew his two fingers, applied lube to his dick then guided the head to her lovely arse and began gently pushing. He felt a bit of resistance, stopped pushing and held in place for a few seconds, then eased back. He repeated the process, after just a few tries he passed the resistance and slipped further in. He stopped there, holding still, to check on Kate.

"How are you?"

"Oh, Rob, I'm fine. This is so good." She was clearly doing okay. He continued to ease further in, but realized he needed more lube. He eased most of the way out, applied lube to his dick and slipped in again. This time it was easier to push into her. After a couple of cycles of pulling out and pushing back in, he was all the way into her.

He paused again to check on Kate, but she was not willing to have more delay. She groaned and said, "Fuck me, give it to me. Do it!" He felt her fingers moving against his balls, it seemed she was fingering her clit.

Rob and Jenny had done this, just a few times. Jenny found it tolerable but not exciting, but for Rob the tightness of a woman's arse gave him extra pleasure. Despite sound reasons to refuse to have sex with Kate, several days of sleeping with her without sex had him feeling very randy. He began to pump into her. Kate moaned and groaned. Head down on the bed, she moved her other hand down to push into her wet cunt while she continued rubbing her clit. Rob could sometimes feel the motion of her fingers bumping him. It didn't take him long to climax. He saw her movements and felt a squeeze on his dick and knew she was coming again as well. He squirted into her, still thrusting until his dick became too soft to push in. With a sigh of contentment he withdrew his dick. "That felt wonderful, thank you Kate."

He rolled her on her side and spooned behind her, kissing her neck as his hands held her breasts. Kate was breathing heavily, but she was relaxing. She felt safe and secure in Rob's arms, safer than she had felt in a long time.

She turned enough to see his eyes. Arms around him, she kissed him again, on his cheek, on his nose, on his mouth, anywhere she could reach.

"Rob, I must tell you something. That bum fuck felt wonderful and I thank you for it. I knew you would be gentle with me. I told you my past experience was not good, but I must say you showed me what I expected, it was the man, not the act. I thought you might help me understand it can be okay. Oh, Rob, you didn't just show me it was okay, you showed me it can be wonderful!" Rob caressed her, stroking her hips with his fingertips.

"With you I am safe and relaxed and I really enjoyed the bum fuck very much. Thank you, darling." She kissed him. "But you're right, if we do this too many times I'll be in love with you like the other women. You could have taken advantage of me the first night and I'd still have been very grateful to you. You could have made me love you, devoted to you, then left me to deal with the separation we know will come. You are strong, I might say powerful making love, but you are are so much more sensitive than the men I've known. You chose to take such good care of me, you chose to protect me when you could have simply taken me. You're not overly masculine, a woman passing you might not notice or think you attractive, you don't act so strong, but what you did is the most manly thing I have ever experienced.

"I do love you even now, for what you've done. You have done more to help me recover these past few days than months of counseling in Sydney."

She cuddled closer to him with a kiss. "I don't think it's just the sex, Rob. Women are falling in love with the man who takes such good care of the women he has sex with."

She kissed him again, eyes closed, a soft, lingering, romantic kiss rather than passionate. "I'll give you an example. I've been with, I guess, five guys in my life, well, six now with you. You're only the second who acted like my orgasm was important to them. You're the first who thought licking me was a way to make me come, not just a way to get me wet enough for penetration. You are most certainly the only who kept on licking after I came. Mmm. "She closed her eyes to enjoy the memory.

Kate and Rob's legs moved together, rubbing slowly.

"You were good to warn me about falling in love. I think I should move back to Helena's place."

"Of course,"Rob answered. "Should I come with you? We can get away from the decorator, get the job finished without us in the way." He saw the wary look in her eyes. "Oh, not together! You have a bedroom there, I have one, we'll each use our own rooms."

They slipped out of their stockings, Kate insisted he wear the silk pajamas again for their last night together. Head on his shoulder in the dark, she whispered, "thank you, Rob, for helping me feel like I can have a normal relationship with a normal man. I shall be grateful forever. I suspect the next man I find will also have much to thank you for." They kissed, then fell asleep together.

Chapter14

Over breakfast, at Kate's insistence Rob still in his floral, silk pajamas and she in her nightgown, Rob asked, "So you understand my passion for lingerie and, in particular, stockings?"

"How can you ask, it feels sensuous and smooth, you look sexy and your legs seem longer. I wasn't terribly surprised. Helena told me more about you than you imagine. I tricked you, I wanted to feel it for myself. Well, I wanted to see, if you'd let me. Can you imagine how relieved I am for you to make up with her?"

He gave her an odd look. "How can I make up with her until she talks with me? With distance I feel better now but there is much to discuss. I'm always far behind you women, you know how to play me and likely have a good insight of how I think. But I still get angry thinking of that awful night."

"But you let her pay to redecorate your flat!"

"I let her send a decorator to me. I changed the contract, Helen won't be billed for a thing."

They took the puppies out for a walk.

Kate had a question she'd been thinking about. "How is it, Rob, you happened to have a matching set of underwear in my size?"

"I bought the pink set as a gift for you. Hey, have you met Carmen?"

"No, why would I have met her?"

"She's a member of Helena's circle. I mention her because she owns the lingerie boutique where I bought your gift. It's here in Oxford, I'll give you her number. You should talk to her. The nice thing about lingerie is you can explore it on your own, until you decide what you like." He pulled out his mobile and texted Carmen's phone number to Kate.

"Helena has explained her circle of friends to you, yes?"

"No, not really. She told me you would tell me. I didn't meet any of her friends, only Marion. She seems nice."

"Yes, she can be nice. But she's an S&M Mistress and she scares me."

"How exciting. A real Mistress. I think I might like to do a session, to see how I'd react. I find I'm quite curious."

"Be careful what you ask for."

"But it doesn't have to be harsh, you said so yourself. You don't like too much pain, but you still like the game." Kate was somewhat confused by the tone Rob had taken. "Do you like it, nor not like it?"

"Mainly, I like the woman getting randy because of what she does to me. Jenny and I had the best sex after we did something like a spanking or she pegs me. I like the suspense, anticipating an event but not sure how it will play out. It's a bit difficult to explain. Marion warned me days before the actual event something was going to happen. You then let your imagination, your sense of fantasy, work on what it might be. The anticipation adds to the fun." He grimaced. "Until it stopped being fun."

"I think I understand. It's like you say to me in the morning, 'later today I'll fuck you, but only if you dress up nicely enough for me'. So I put on nice things and wear it all day, waiting for what is coming, getting hornier and hornier in anticipation."

"Just so." By then they were on their way back to Rob's flat. "Do you know what Helena said in her video message to me?"

Kate nodded. "Yes. I operated the camera for her."

They each had a car so they each drove back to Helena's country house. Rob hesitated at first but then thought he had lived here, he had every right to be here. He joined Kate and followed her inside the house he knew so well. Rob stopped in the kitchen to greet the housekeeper and the cook. Rob asked them not to worry much about a fancy menu until Helena's return. They welcomed him back to the house, never having known the reason for his absence.

He showed Kate his room, pointing out the heating pipe where he'd been chained and found himself suddenly angry again. Rob let a bit of it out. "I still can't believe what the bitch did!"

Kate looked at him with dismay. His outburst was completely unexpected. "I thought you were past your anger. I understand how you might be sad, but you have quite a temper when it comes to this." Kate saw the anger fade from his face on hearing her words.

"I'm sorry Kate, you should have seen me the morning they released me. I didn't say anything, but I had the whole night to build up my temper. I could control myself, but I don't dare to think what would have happened if I'd lost control. Those 'games' can be very dangerous. Keep in mind, I had refused to join them. It wasn't consensual and it wasn't safe. Their game that night was bad for my health.

"It was also humiliating for me. The worst games for me involve humiliation. There's too much chance it will persist outside the game, stay with you in real life. Let me say it this way, if it had been someone other than Helena or Marion, another Mistress who did something so foolish to me, she would have ended up in hospital."

"I understand what you're saying. There must be consent about everything including mental games. I understand your anger." She took a quick step forward and put her arms around him. "I've felt it too. Sometimes I'd get very angry, retelling what he'd done. It's sad you were hurt, that wasn't right." She stepped back. "Physically hurt -- that's a major breach. But humiliation is just as bad. Don't they know what you can't take?"

Rob grimaced. "The problem is, up to this point Helena and I haven't discussed limits. I thought our agreement was two major things: never outside the playroom and an agreed end to each game before beginning. Between these two I didn't think it was necessary to make lists, talk about limits and work on what consent meant. She thought to teach me a lesson using bondage, but it wasn't in the playroom and I didn't agree to it. I didn't even know when it might end. When she came back into the room, eight hours after she left me alone, I had just decided how to release myself. It would have been bad, a real mess. I was going to wedge the chair leg behind the pipe and used it as a lever to break off the pipe at the wall, just there." He pointed to the heating pipe. "When she came in to release me, I was about to do it. She has no idea how close I was to flooding her house.

"I keep wondering how much of this was led by Marion, the experienced domina, how much led by Helena and how much was just a series of thoughtless decisions."

Kate frowned. "I think I want to be far from you in such a state. The man I divorced had a temper, but I think you might be far worse."

"I'm sorry, normally I'm pretty quiet."

After moving everything to their rooms, they settled in the living room. Kate wanted to know more. "Tell me about this dungeon Helena will build."

"Ugh! I'd prefer calling it a playroom, dungeon suggests things I want nothing to do with." He gestured to dismiss his dread. "At the moment, it's not clear I'll follow through with helping on her little project. If it is to be built, there are many details to be decided. So far, we only have a general layout in our minds. It looks like the space beyond the wine cellar, I think it's under the newest part of the house, would hold quite a large room. It's a convenient location, a place the servants have no reason to go."

For the last few days before they expected Helena and the others to return, Kate noticed Rob was avoiding her company. It seemed he was getting morose. When she asked him, Rob had to think. It was a feeling rather than something he was thinking. "I never thought I'd admit it, but I miss Helena more than I ever thought. It's good to have your company. You and I have a special understanding of each other, in my heart, but... you're not Helena."

"I understand, you're closer to her than the other women around you. She was right, then, wasn't she: you are soul mates."

"There is a Yin and Yang to our relationship, bright and shining, but also dark parts. Last time she didn't treat me well, but it was a mistake. No, a series of mistakes. I can see now there was nothing malicious about it. They were negligent, horribly so. This, Helena and I must talk through. But she and I share together a big mistake: not negotiating what BDSM games can be like, making it consensual. We must communicate better."

Over breakfast the next morning, Kate had an announcement. "I've decided to look for a place of my own."

"Of course," Rob said in support. "Then you can be independent again. I hope you understand you always have our support. If you feel lonely or want any form of help, you can always come here. You are part of the circle. No, the circle doesn't matter here. Kate, you're the only, well, normal woman I know and I expect you shall become my sister in law. I did my best not to fall in love with you, but I would be very happy to love you as a sister."

"Thanks, love, but I must be my own support. I'll seek out a man of my own." She gave him a smile. "Though I despair to find one who can meet the standard you've set."

"Just take your time, don't rush. You're still young. Look at me, I never thought I'd meet a woman like your sister."

In truth, Kate had been scanning the advertisements from estate agents before the day Rob introduced himself. She told Rob only when she was ready to rent a furnished cottage in the countryside. It wasn't far from Stoke Goldington, but it wasn't too close either. She told him it was on a country lane outside Castlethorpe, no more. She had so little to transport, it was easy for her to decline Rob's offer of help moving in. She also took a job. She didn't really need the money, Helena had given her more then enough to live on, but she did need something to do.

Two days later Rob and Kate went back to Oxford to see his flat, refurnished. The three bedrooms had been done over completely. The walls were painted, there were new beds, new wardrobes, new carpets and curtains, even new blankets and cushions. Helena had picked out the style: soft white with accents, romantic, feminine and warm. Kate and Rob had changed a bit from what Helena has ordered, not a lot. It was Rob's idea to change the lighting to soft, indirect light made the rooms warm and welcoming. Moving out of the flat had allowed the water to be shut off, the bath was completely redone. The tub was luxuriously large for a couple to share. The cupboards and shelving were all new, the new tub had crowded out the old arrangement.

Chapter 15

Helena called Rob from New York. She reminded him she would fly back, arriving in the morning in two days. They had shopped a great deal in New York, it seemed. He had no car that would hold the three travelers along with the "more luggage" it appeared they'd acquired and filled.

Rob called Michael Haft, who answered the phone with, "good day, Rob." Rob noted again Michael didn't miss much, a desirable feature in the head of security.

"Michael, what do you know about Helena's travel plans?"

"Do you wish to contact her?"

"Actually, she just called me. I don't know why she asked me to arrange her logistics. I must ask you to help. She's asked me to meet her with a car that can carry four, no, five and she says she now has a mound of luggage. What do you suggest?"

"Hmm, a mound of luggage, that sounds challenging. I'll tell you what, I can arrange a car with driver to carry her back from the airport, seats six passengers. A van can carry the baggage separately. Will that do?"

"Perfect, Michael, thank you." Rob gave Haft the flight number and arrival time and arranged that he and Kate would be picked up at Helena's house to be taken to the airport. The van would meet them there.

Rob and Kate rode in the back of the big car to Heathrow largely in silence. They had felt a camaraderie, but their relationship was going to be unalterably more distant with Helena's return.

When the three ladies finally exited from the customs hall and saw Rob was there waiting for them, Helena ran to him and fell into his arms, covering his with kisses. Marion followed, doing the same, followed by Kim who kissed him even more passionately. Rob stood still and left them have their way, but he did little to reciprocate. Rob was surprised he was happy to see them after weeks apart. He told himself he had to decide whether these women were his family, his home, or whether he was done with them.

Kate wasn't forgotten, she too had her share of hugs and kisses from her sister, then was introduced to Marion and Kim.

The porter behind them had two large carts carrying all their luggage. Rob didn't know whether to cry or to laugh, looking at the pile of suitcases and store parcels. At least there was a van to carry it all.

"What's all this?" he asked Helena.

"We bought some new clothes." She gave him a smile bearing a hint of wickedness. "And a few gifts."

"I hope you had a good time." Rob turned to give Kate a smile. "We had a time, didn't we, Kate?"

Kate gave a sad smile in response. "Yes we had a good time." She turned to her sister, hugged her again. "Helena, it's good to have you back."

Helena gave Rob questioning look over Kate's shoulder. He shrugged, enjoying making Helena just a bit uncomfortable.

"To your house?" he asked Helena.

"It's your house too, but yes." He led her to her car, noting the van had just pulled up.

The van arrived half an hour behind them. Everyone, from Helena to the cook and the housekeeper, helped carrying in the bags and suitcases. Soon everybody was sitting in the living room. Helena, Kim and Marion were all glad to be home again.

Marion declared, "Going on holiday is nice, but it's even nicer to be home again."

It was only mid-afternoon, but Rob had arranged with the cook for an early tea with sandwiches and snacks available. It seemed everyone was talking at once, with the exception of Rob, who stayed largely out of the conversations. He sat, a pleasant enough expression on his face, scanning the room and listening to samples of what each person was saying.

After an hour or so, Kate said she had things to do and kissed everyone goodbye.

Rob and Helena accompanied her to her car. As Helena said goodbye to her, Kate started to cry. Rob took her in his arms and comforted her. Helena had a notion of what was going on. "You can always visit us Kate, I'm not the jealous type, if you really need a shoulder to cry on, you can have mine or Rob's." She added, whispering, "if you need a good fuck you're also welcome." She was surprised to get a sour look as Kate's response.

"Really?" Kate asked Helena dryly. She got in her car and drove off.

Helena turned to Rob. "She seems to have really become more relaxed, more confident, over these past weeks. It isn't clear you gave her all she needed, but now we must deal with my needs." Helena looked deep into his eyes for a moment, then closed her eyes as she stepped in to kiss him.

Rob kissed her back and held her tight. "I'm so sorry dear. I overreacted, I admit, I said unkind things. But you must understand I was so pissed off and felt so humiliated, I was thinking - well, I might as well admit it, I am thinking -- it was a big mistake to trust you and Marion again."

"I'm sorry too. I thought you liked the little game."

Rob let an uncomfortable silence linger. If that was all of her response, there was much she didn't understand. Finally, he spoke. "Let's not debate it. Suffice it to say I was miserable. You came in as I was about to break out. Had I been left alone a bit longer you would have had a broken heating pipe. I don't think you and Marion understand, even now, how thoughtless you were." Rob stopped speaking, he could tell his voice was getting harsh. He was still surprised how quickly the anger came back out over this incident.

Helena took a step back, a response like this was unexpected. She looked hurt and confused at the harshness of his tone. With a soft voice she said, "I already apologized, what else can I do?" Helena turned to go back into the house.

Rob took a deep breath, but had an impulse he thought could be allowed. "Learn from it!"

Helena was just seating herself when he stopped at the door of her living room. "Good night." He paused for a moment, to make sure they heard him. "I'm going home now. Welcome back to your home, now you have your own cars so you don't require me." He gave Kim and Marion perfunctory kisses, said goodbye to Helena without moving to kiss her. He took his dogs with him out to his car. He'd put suitcases in his car before leaving to pick them up at the airport. They heard him drive off down the driveway and then he was gone.

"I thought he had moved back to live here." Marion said what all three were thinking.

Helena was close to tears. "I don't think he's over it yet. When he thinks about it, he becomes very angry. But what can I do other than apologize?"

Kim spoke thoughtfully. "You must earn his trust again. It will be hard, but eventually you will. Unfortunately, whilst I had nothing to do with what happened, he thinks I'm on your side and blames me as well. I don't like this situation at all."

"Neither do I," Marion said, "We'll just follow your original plan Helena, if he doesn't want to come to us, we'll move in with him. Right, girls? Maybe if he's in his own flat, where he feels safe, the memories of what happened won't be as strong."

Kim and Helena agreed. They unpacked from their travels, packed for a week and in just over an hour Marion and Helena were in Helena's car driving to Rob's flat. Kim first went to her own place, saying she would catch up.

Arriving back at his flat, Rob was still upset. He thought he had learned how to deal with his anger, but it was incredibly frustrating to learn Helena clearly didn't understand what had upset him. All through the return drive to Oxford he'd stewed over how miserable he felt when he was chained, how alone he felt that night. It had been the worst kind of game, all of the misery and none of the pleasant conclusion to anticipate. Living on his own again was appealing when he thought how someone he never imagined would hurt him had callously betrayed his trust.

The moment he arrived at his home, he took the dogs for a long walk, figuring maybe he could cool off. The dogs seemed to understand his mood, they stayed close beside him as if to show him they were there for him. Rob decided he was frustrated with the clueless Helena, but his anger was with himself, for foolishly giving his trust again.

After an hour's walk or so, on his return, there was Helena's car. Helena and Marion sat on the stair to his door awaiting his arrival. No matter. She'd said she would come to his place, he had prepared how he would handle the possibility. He unlocked the door and they came in, each lugging her own suitcase. Rob didn't look too friendly, but clearly they expected it of him. They ignored him and went straight to the redecorated bedrooms.

He heard them talking. "You have a nice bedroom Helena, very inviting."

Helena sounded a bit put out. "Some of this isn't what I ordered."

Rob stayed in the living room, he wanted to ignore them. In truth, he wanted them to go away. He thought about going out again with his dogs, but decided he had to deal with them sooner or later.

Kim knocked on the door and he admitted her without words.

A few minutes later they all joined him. Marion left for the kitchen and started making dinner. She had brought along a shopping bag with food for the first few meals. Kim picked up a whiskey bottle, offering to fill a glass for Helena and Rob. Helena accepted it, but Rob declined with a shake of his head.

Helena opened the conversation. "We shall live here, in your flat, for a time. Moving in with you gives you more distance from small, but unfortunate events in my house. I think we might also act on my plans to renovate the entire house. We can stay here until the renovation is complete."

Helena looked to Rob for a response, as he'd expected. He worked hard at keeping an indifferent look on his face. She was really going all-in on this, the renovation would take several weeks at best.

"Are you going to stay angry at us all day? I don't care, we're staying here until my house is ready. You must get over your anger. Call me names, curse me, whatever, get it over with and then forget it. You'll make it easier on yourself and for all of us." Helena ended on an indignant tone.

Rob rose slowly from his seat. He stepped to the kitchen, inviting Marion to join them for a few minutes. She stood in the doorway, arms folded,

"Helena, Marion, I think you need to hear my apology," Rob began, noting the way Helena immediately relaxed, the satisfied look appearing on Marion's face. "When I came back from Cathy's I was very tired after two hard days. But I should have been willing to wake up and play with you. I failed to accommodate your wishes. When I didn't want to play with you on the bed you chose, I could have simply left the room to you and slept somewhere else. I failed to accommodate your wishes. When I was uncomfortable after an hour had passed and you were falling asleep, I offended you with the way I spoke to you. I might have better controlled my anger. In the morning, when you didn't see my distress, I should have done a better job to telling you what I was experiencing. I should have communicated with you more clearly. Instead, I offended you again. I have learned a great deal about communicating with a mistress. I assure you I shall better communicate with a mistress in the future."

He stopped, looked each of them in the eye. Kim looked puzzled, Helena looked uncertain, Marion had a look of triumph on her face. They didn't seem to have caught the meaning of his last words.

If, that is, there ever is a mistress in my future, he was thinking. "Well, that's all. How soon will you serve dinner?"

Marion turned back to the kitchen, Helena followed her in, soon they called Kim to open a bottle of wine.

Rob opened his computer case and took out a DVD he's prepared a few days before. Apparently it was necessary use it. He left it prominently on the table in the living room, collected the dog's beds, called the dogs and let himself out. His suitcase stayed in the boot when he returned from Helena's house, part of this contingency.

Traffic was light, the drive to Birmingham was quicker than he'd expected.