PainLove - Bk. 02 - Ch. 16-22

Chapter 16

"Rob?" Kim came back into the living room. She raised her voice. "Hey, Rob?"

The dining table was in the kitchen and had room for four, six with some crowding. The ladies had already conspired to seat Rob in the corner so he couldn't leave the table without their leave. Four places were set, four glasses of wine were filled, Marion was serving a lamb stew.

Helena looked to Kim when she returned to the kitchen. "Where's Rob?"

"I can't find him."

"Well, the dogs aren't here either, they must have needed walking. Come, let's not wait. He'll reappear soon enough and we can rib him all the more, a slave to those two bitches."

They began to eat. Five minutes later, Helena fell out of the quiet, inconsequential conversation. Five minutes later, she suddenly stood up and rushed to open and look out the front door.

"Helena, whatever is the matter?"Marion called, following.

Helena slowly returned to the table and sat. She tried to stay composed as she picked up her napkin, but burst into tears. "He's gone! His car is gone."

Marion strode quickly to the front door, then quickly came back. She looked around the kitchen. "You know, there are no water bowls here, the dog beds are gone. It's as though dogs don't live here."

They finished eating in silence. They piled the dishes in the sink, in no mood to do anything domestic.

They took their wineglasses and returned to the living room. Helena put her glass down and went to the whiskey bottle.

"What's this?" Kim picked up a DVD in a thin case, the words "for Helena to watch" written on it in Rob's hand.

Helena looked around. "Where's that telly and DVD player I paid for?"

Rob had added a DVD player under his old television, one with fewer features and a lower price. They figured out how to get it started and Rob had taken care to leave the television set up to display the DVD player.

The disk started. Rob sat before the camera in his kitchen. It looked like he was on a web-cam, Kim had an impulse to run into the kitchen and find Rob, but she knew it would be in vain. "Helena, this video is for you. It's up to you to decide if you want others to see it." He paused.

Kim indicated she would leave, but Helena waved. "No, we'll all see this together."

After the pause, Rob continued. "It's unfortunate we weren't able to compare travel schedules. As it turns out, I'll be away for a few weeks. I have a job interview in Ireland. When I return I expect to spend my time away from the Midlands. I may make a trip to Denmark. I shall be away for at least two weeks, perhaps three.

"Helena, I would like to give you my reaction to the video you sent. For your reference, your video is the next track on this DVD so you can review it in the light of my comments.

"It seems to me a good apology has some key elements. It's more effective delivered in person, eye to eye. You apologize by acknowledging what you've done and its impact on the person receiving your apology. You talk about making it right, about what you've learned, how you will be different in the future."

Rob sighed. "I found your attempt at apology disappointing. You talked far more about the impact on yourself. You barely acknowledged what you did to me, then you went on to talk about what I said, how I should apologize. Nothing was said about whether you learned anything. Nothing was said about what changes will be made. As far as I'm concerned, you haven't apologized yet. Marion must make her own apology, independent of you. After each of you have apologized properly, individually, we can begin to discuss the changes required, the commitments now necessary, the contract which will be written and signed, before I will consider living under your roof.

"Helena, even though I was estranged from you, you required me to be your servant. You called me, presuming I'd arrange your return home from Heathrow. I just called your company and had them arrange it, which is what you should have done. You presumed to come live in my flat. I'd be a poor host if I didn't welcome you and you are entirely welcome to stay. But I won't come back while any of you are in this house. You imagine I made a promise to your circle which could be expanded to include more women. I recall a phrase like 'these women now present' when you asked those questions. This is not the first time I've found out I've been promised to someone else without even consulting me. How many times have I protested I'm not just a sex toy to be passed around? I've lost count. You have no more rope on this one. The next time I found out I've been promised to still another woman, our relationship ends, full stop.

"This will be in the contract. The promise you imagine I made will be clarified and written in the contract. Many things we have discussed must now be written in the contract.

"What happened the night leading to my departure, happened because you failed completely at behaving like a proper mistress. You continued to dominate, but you stopped attending to the well-being of the person you were dominating. I see every reason to expect you to make a similar mistake again. Had you chained me, but recognized my state and done something to help me, I might not have even left your house. What angered me most was how clueless you were in the morning, failing to see how bad it had been for me.

"I've been reading while we've been apart. There's quite a common idea: after-care. You don't abuse someone then just set them loose, you care for them, bring them back to their real life from where you took them in your play. I've never experienced aftercare at all. If I were you, I'd be turning to Marion and asking why. Ah, but I didn't get aftercare from Marion either.

"To protect me from your mistakes in future, I am introducing a new safe-word: cruel. If you ever hear me use the word cruel, you will immediately stop what you are doing, find out what is wrong and make a correction in the instant. The consequence of a failure to respond and respond immediately, will be months of separation. You must consider the possibility, at the end of those months, I will choose to remain separated, permanently.

"Your mistake didn't just offend me, you threatened my health. I had no sleep, I was cold to the point of shivering nonstop. If you ever, ever do something bad for my health again, there can be no forgiveness. It will be over.

"Then, in your lovely video, you chose to call me out for what I said. You said a lot more about the apology I owed than your own apology. Let me assure you, I was too tired to say a fraction of what I'd thought during the night. You got off easy. You can expect no more apology than I just gave you today, in person. I said as much as I did only because I wanted you to see a proper apology demonstrated.

"I think you still haven't the faintest idea what happened to me, what I experienced, how I felt. I told Kate my version of events. Ask her to repeat what I told her. If I try to tell you I'll just end up reliving it, getting angry and shouting. So ask Kate to tell you.

"Helena, remember what I said about an effective apology. Review your video and decide for yourself see if you think it makes the grade.

"The next step is you and Marion each apologizing. After you are ready to apologize, I still must decide if I'm ready to hear it. Only then will I choose the time and setting for each of you, separately."

Rob's hand moved under the screen and the video ended. The ladies sat in shocked silence.

Marion reached for the DVD remote. "Let's watch Helena's again, I'm sure it was quite appropriate and he's exaggerating."

Helena sighed and waved her off. "No, he's right, I made my video feeling very sorry for myself, I'm sure that's how it looked to him. As I listened to his apology today, I thought how much better he was was at apologies than I was.

"I shall talk to Cathy," Marion proposed. "She might have some answers or suggestions for us going forward." They all agreed and what was supposed to be a pleasant evening ended with the three of them sleeping in three bedrooms, not knowing where Rob was sleeping.

Rob and the dogs spent the night in the cozy little flat above the carriage house behind a decent-sized house in a nice neighborhood in Birmingham. It was short distance from the University.

Rob reflected how lucky he'd been with the timing of the tenant in the carriage house unexpectedly canceling the rental. A place to go and hide, a place Helena didn't know about, had appeared at just the right time. He made a mental inventory of the other rentals his limited companies held, each near a university. It was possible he could disappear again if necessary.

Over breakfast the next morning, the ladies were morose. They quickly agreed to return to their homes and let the weeks of Rob's absence pass.

Over his breakfast, Rob was pensive, but he felt lightened as well. Helena surely had received a message from him this time. He was determined there would be no compromises on his hard limits. He loved Helena, no, he wanted to love Helena. But he was willing to walk away if she couldn't commit to changing her assumptions about him.

Helena went home and began the planning for a renovation of her house. Each bedroom would have its own, en-suite bath, which might bring the place down to only ten bedrooms. Other changes would be made as well. She was going to go ahead with the plans she had for Rob living with her. She had no choice but to look ahead.

She hesitated to make plans for the basement play room without Rob, but was unwilling to wait. Whether Rob came back to live with her or not, she would have a dungeon. She called it a fitness room and mapped out the basics so the walls, electrical and plumbing work, at least, could get underway.

Rob spent two weeks getting things done. He spent some of his time cleaning, fixing things in the carriage house that weren't right. By the time he moved out, it would be ready for the local estate agent to show to prospects. He spent some of this time working as well, his consultancy now had three clients on retainer. Occasionally, people were referred to him for single projects. He spent pleasant autumn days taking his dogs on long walks, in the city and out in the nearby countryside. Still under a year old, they seemed already full-sized dogs, smart, strong and attentive to him. They were still young but he couldn't call them puppies any more.

The time came for Rob to drive back to his flat. He packed up, loaded the dogs and went back to Oxford. No one else's car was there. On the top step he saw she had left a DVD, leaning against the door. He fed the dogs and watched it while his dinner was heating.

The video from Helena was short and simple. "Rob, dear Rob, I am a rich, spoiled brat. I am so accustomed to telling people to do things without a second thought. I constantly fail to remember you are not just an extension of my wishes.

"Kate told me quite a story. I now see how my being wrong started far before the morning.

"Rob, I am ready to apologize. Please tell me when we can talk."

Rob picked up the phone and called Helena immediately. They agreed he would come to her house the next morning. "And, Helena, we will talk alone, no one else will join us."

Chapter 17

When Rob pulled his car into the car park behind Helena's house, she immediately came out of the back door, coming across the gravel to greet him. She wanted to be restrained, dignified, but as soon as she was within reach she threw her arms around him. "Rob, I've missed you, I can't stand it without you!" She cried into his shoulder. They stayed in the car park, car doors open and arms about each other, for several minutes. The dogs happily wandered about the back of the big house, inspecting familiar territory again.

Finally Helena took his arm and guided him to her door. Rob waved to the cook and housekeeper in the kitchen as Helena led him directly to her library. She took him to two matching chairs facing each other across the fireplace.

Helena wasted no time getting to her apology. "Rob, we were so thoughtless from the beginning. I should have recognized you went to bed early for your own good reason. I should have already known the reason. Of course, two days of sessions at Cathy's took their toll. I should have simply gone somewhere else instead of getting vindictive. I should have remembered we don't start a play session without agreeing to start it. I should have remembered the countless times you've told me we won't play outside the playroom.

"When Marion suddenly had those metal cuffs in her hand, it just lit a vicious little fire in me and I- oh, Rob! I am so ashamed I didn't stop and think of you!

"A thousand ways that night I earned your anger. I am ashamed I thought what you said in the morning required an apology. You could have been much more cruel and I would still have deserved it.

"But I am most ashamed of not actually looking at you in the morning. I just assumed you would be okay, you're always okay. I should have noticed you shivering, when Kate told me that detail I realized I'd seen you shivering but I didn't stop to pay attention, I was too busy being business-like, as though being released was a favor from your mistress. I was still playing out a game you never joined.

"I should have noticed you used a chair to support yourself and come to your aid. I just thought it odd, too busy wondering how you had failed to kiss me. Which was itself a mistake, of course you didn't kiss me, you had good reason."

"Rob, I wronged you. I am not worthy to be your mistress. I shall not ask you to have me as your mistress.

"What I have learned, Rob, is you should not trust me."

She looked down at her hands. Rob stayed still letting her think on what she had said in a rush. Finally, he stepped to her, dropped to a knee and reached for her hand. "Helena, thank you for that. I expect it was very hard for you. I accept your apology."

In an instant she was on her knees with him, tears spotting on his shoulder. "I am so, so sorry," she sobbed.

"Come, dear." Rob guided her to sit on his lap instead. They sat together, arms around each other. Rob gave Helena a handkerchief. When she recovered somewhat, she said, "Kate said the strangest thing about you."

"Did she?"

"She said you did the manliest thing she's ever experienced -- and it was you didn't make love to her."

"Mmm."

"Rob, did you not make love to her? I told you to."

Rob raised his eyebrows. "And I failed to obey your command?"

"Well, no, that's not what I meant. I gave you and Kate my permission..."

"Was your permission needed?"

"No, its... Oh, Rob, here I go again. What did you do for her?"

"You asked me to take care of her needs. I took care of her needs."

"Did you make love to her?"

"The only way for you to get an answer is from Kate. If she didn't tell you, I certainly won't."

Helena didn't like knowing there were secrets, she wanted to know everything. She was about to speak, but decided it was better a conversation between two sisters.

Rob spoke after a moment of silence. "So, how did you feel apologizing?"

"Awful. But good too. It was hard to be so honest with you, because it forced me to be honest with myself. But I heard from Kate your version of what you experienced. It was so hard to hear your viewpoint. I cried, oh, how, I cried to hear her tell me. I can see I didn't give you a fair hearing that awful morning. I shall work on that, too."

She kissed him again. "I must tell you, I spent this morning thinking about what to say, planning phrases, listing points to make. All of it disappeared in a puff as soon as you stepped out of your car. I brought you in here, I realized I didn't remember anything of what I'd prepared

"Even so I knew exactly what to say.

"Rob, it felt good to speak to you that way. This apology felt right, it was from my heart, it was real, it was how I felt. The apology on the video was rehearsed, unnatural and as you said, it was all about me." She put her head on his shoulder. "Rob what do we do now?"

"Helena, it comes down to this. As Cathy advised, we must write a contract. We're going to make a list of the things we can do together and the things we cannot do together. Your solicitor just contacted me about reading the prenuptial agreement. I won't sign your prenup until we've each signed the play-time agreement.

"In fact, I won't agree to another game until we've signed it." He paused, waiting to see her reaction show she'd heard him before continuing.

"The first thing it's going to say is you have no right to give me to anyone. The only thing you can do is invite me to join you in something. You can't require me to do something and you can't promise someone else what I'll do with them."

"I understand. I just have to be better at remembering your wishes when my fantasies kick in."

They spent an hour there, Helena on Rob's lap, talking about all manner of things. The dogs lay at their feet for a bit then wandered off to look around the house. The conversation moved through things of no consequence to quite serious, and back again. Rob and Helena were still there, talking, when the dogs returned.

The conversation got around to the changes to the house. They walked upstairs, looking through bedrooms and talking about the changes Helena had in mind.

As they walked back down the wide stair to the ground floor, Helena asked, "will you still be interested in a playroom, Rob? The builder will need some direction in the basement."

"I expect we can work through an agreement in the time it takes for the builder to do the work. Let's go have a look."

They descended to the basement and walked through the space behind the wine cellar. Rob suggested leaving the front part of the basement as storage space, putting in a wide corridor leading from the stair to the wine cellar, ending at doors to the playroom beyond it. He noticed a collection of neatly stacked cartons, the television he'd diverted. He didn't comment.

Helena pointed out there was only one stair down to the basement, the one opening to the main hall of the house. "You know, what we really want is a way to get from the bedroom to the playroom without people on the ground floor knowing. Another set of stairs or a lift...."

"A lift? Interesting idea. Where could you put one?"

"We'll consult the architect, see where the structure and the floor layouts above will permit."

They returned upstairs. The dogs told him they wanted to go out, then it was time for lunch. Over lunch Helena had a question. "So, Rob, what's this about Sweden?"

"Ah, a throw-off phrase, an excuse so I wouldn't be forced to take that enormous flat-screen. I wouldn't have wanted it even if we were on good terms, it was too much for the room. Under the circumstances, it seemed like I was once again something you could buy. Didn't help your case one bit."

"And Ireland?"

"Well, that was part true. I signed a new client to my consultancy. Her office is in Dublin, but I met her in Liverpool."

"Her?"

"Helena, you can't be surprised to learn there are capable women in business. I daresay some work for your companies. If you must know more, we sat in a coffee shop surrounded by fifty others. We talked for about two hours, each of us writing notes."

Helena sighed. "I must suspend the idea you have the behaviors I assume every man has. It may well be the stereotype applies only to the minority." She put her hand on his arm. "Rob, you are not at all like most of the men I've met. I mean it sincerely, as a compliment."

In the mid-afternoon, Helena answered the phone. After a brief conversation she told Rob Marion wanted to know if she could visit the next day. "Of course she can, but more time will pass before I'm prepared to speak with her privately."

"Why not? I'm sure she's ready to apologize right now."

"Helena, I blame Marion more than you for what happened. She's the experienced mistress, she's expected to know how to properly care for a submissive, not just how to beat him. You yourself noticed how she suddenly had cuffs in her hands. I'm simply not going to listen to her apologize until I believe I can keep my temper."

Rob slept with Helena, but declined to make love with her. "Sorry, I'm just not ready yet. I have barriers in my mind, I can't take them down for this kind intimacy yet.

Marion arrived just before lunch the next day. Rob was polite, but cool and distant.

Marion, assuming she was dealing with a repentant submissive, was curt and demanding. Even Helena noticed and told her to tone it down. "Helena," Marion whispered urgently in reply. "You must get him back in his place immediately, don't coddle him."

Helena gave Marion a stern look. "His place is by my side, in real life. Don't you do anything to take him away from my side again."

"Well, I - what do you think I might do?"

"Such as that handcuff appearing so easily in your hand." Helena paused, looked to the side, then her eyes returned to lock, fire in them, on Marion's. "Marion, I would give up all BDSM with Rob if I must, it would be a small price to keep him. For a time, I must insist you don't try to make anything else happen."

In the late afternoon, as Rob brought the dogs back in from a long walk, Marion caught up with him alone. "I'm ready to apologize," she said.

Coolly, Rob looked at her for a minute. "No."

"What?"

"Marion, I'm told you saw the video I left. When you say you're ready to apologize, then you still must wait until I decide to hear you. One, I doubt you are truly ready to apologize and, two, I am certain I'm not ready to hear you."

As they had coffee after dinner, Marion tried to get Rob to tell his story of the evening and morning he left. It was plain she was planning on tearing down his viewpoint, perhaps show she had done nothing wrong. Rob declined to engage. Artfully, he parried her questions with generalities. Helena, listening but taking care to stay out of it entirely, found herself admiring what a good negotiator he seemed to be.

Frustrated, Marion said, "You should talk to Cathy, Rob. She knows you better than you think, I expect she can help you heal, restore some of your old feelings. To be honest, I don't recognize you like this, I had nothing to do with that incident, I was the victim of your harsh words, yet still you are so cold to me." She was trying to look hurt, Rob thought, but she really looked presumptuous.

Rob simply shrugged. Marion had been planning on spending the night. Between Rob's cold behavior and Helena's quiet acceptance of his behavior, she felt most unwelcome. She thanked Helena for the opportunity to visit and drove home.

In the morning, while Rob was working, Helena made a phone call and had a short conversation. Cathy called back later, by Helena's greeting Rob knew who was calling. Rob was aware they talked for quite some time but didn't trouble himself to pay attention what Helena said.

When she finished her call Helena came in to speak with to him: "Cathy is pretty busy right now. She agrees you have had too much emotional pain and wants to discuss it. She has a long weekend available in a couple of weeks, we've agreed you shall spend it with her. She thinks she has a solution for your state of mind. "

Rob sighed. "I'll speak with Cathy. Perhaps she can help me, perhaps not. The event can't be turned back, the memory can't be removed."

"No, but the way you see it can be changed. This is where Cathy can help."

Chapter 18

The day in late September came for Rob to spend three days with Cathy. He and Helena had moved to his flat in Oxford, where they'd agreed they would live while Helena's house was being renovated. Helena wished him luck, kissed him goodbye and said she would take good care of Nicky and Inca.

Driving to Winslow, Rob recalled how his last visit to her had been the immediate predecessor to his awful night at Helena's. Helena thought he could benefit from still more training in controlling his anger. Rob was willing to discuss the idea with Cathy, but thought he'd controlled himself pretty well.

The weekend was originally presented as Cathy, helping. A few days later, Helena let slip she expected it might be exciting. She emphasized she wouldn't mind if Cathy and he became intimate. He chuckled, thinking she sounded rehearsed, delivering a carefully worded phrase so as to avoid sounding in the slightest like she was making him do something.

In a phone conversation a few days before, Cathy had promised him a lot of talking, but also at least one session. Cathy had warned him it would be like the last time; not much pain, but not totally painless. She said he would be rewarded at the end of the session. Rob could hear in her voice the smile she surely had when she said those words. He remembered his first visit to Cathy, when Helena had said she wouldn't participate in subsequent visits.

Although anxious, he did trust Cathy, he knew she wouldn't really harm him. Still, any session was a source of apprehension. He remembered when she had unexpectedly caned him in on the inside of his thigh.

He knew he would endure Cathy's treatment; she was quite good as a domme. The experience better prepare him to tolerate pain from a mistress. He wasn't convinced he wanted that kind of preparation. He was convinced he could easily abandon BDSM.

He also understood his real objection was he wanted guarantees the play session wouldn't lead to events he didn't care for. He recalled Kate's comment a husband could rape his own wife.

So, here he was again. He parked his car on the street near Cathy's house and got out. As he walked to Cathy's driveway, two men were approaching, one from each direction. He thought nothing of them until the one approaching from before him him called his name. "Hey, Rob?"

Surprised, he answered. "Yes?"

The man smiled and reached out as though he was going to shake hands. As soon as he gripped Rob's hand, something with a sharp, chemical smell was cupped over his mouth and nose. With one man now firmly gripping his right wrist and the other pulling his left arm to twist behind his back, he began to breathe faster. Inhaling the chemical faster, he felt his strength weakening. He had difficulty resisting. The cup stayed on his face and he struggled little before passing out.

Rob woke up with a terrible headache. A man came to him, the smiling man who had greeted, then kidnapped him, carrying a plastic tumbler. "Drink up, you'll feel better."

Rob tried to lift his hand to take the cup, but couldn't move very far. The clothes he'd worn were gone, he wore only a cloak of coarse brown cloth. He had some kind of wide, leather belt around his waist, no buckle visible in front. Cuffs on his wrists were linked to rings on the belt. He realized he was not prevented from walking, but was still too dizzy to even try. The man held the tumbler to his lips and tilted, Rob drank some. It tasted like it had a lot of sugar in it. Within a minute he began to feel better.

Rob found his voice as his head cleared. "What is the meaning of this? Untie me. Is this some trick of Cathy's? I won't accept this, I'll inform the police. Kidnapping and drugs, you have something to answer for." Rob angrily pulled at his restraints, but there was nothing he could do.

"Wait until the mistress comes, she will explain." The smiling man responded softly, his smile unaffected by Rob's words. "The more you resist, the more pain she will inflict on you. Just let it happen, I'll set you right when it's over." The smooth show of friendliness was not reassuring. Rob thought it might frighten him less if the man had been harsh. Outside he heard a lot of people cheering and yelling.

"What is this place?"

"You at in a secret BDSM event, only insiders, where different kinds of scenes are presented by Mistresses and their slaves. Your Mistress will explain it to you soon." Rob wondered why Cathy would bring him to such a thing.

It seemed a long time later, the influence of the drug had nearly passed. A woman came into the room, dressed in leather: leather bustier, a leather skirt and high heeled boots up to her knees. Her age showed, she was well older than Helena, but still trim and attractive. Her face was dramatically made up. A lot of black around her eyes, even her lips were blackened. With cold blue eyes she looked at him. "So this is the angry boy."

"Boy? I'm not a boy. Who are you? Where is Cathy?"

"Silence! Speak only when permission is given to speak. Cathy has nothing to do with this. You may call me Mistress Iris. It came to my attention you had an appointment with another mistress. In my judgment you are progressing too slowly. I have faster ways to bring men to subjection. You see, today's meeting is focused on unwilling slaves, slaves who must be punished to learn. You shall learn."

"You can't do that. I have nothing to do with you, I'm not your slave. I'll have the law on you, kidnapping, using drugs on me."

"Who will believe you? You are just one more slave who will be punished. You are just part of the show for our members. All they will believe is what they see me doing to you. And I shall show them something!"

Rob suddenly became very afraid. "Don't do this. I'm not a volunteer. I do not consent to this."

"This isn't about consent, it's about obedience. It is your time." The cloak was pulled off his shoulders. He was naked, except for the leather belt. She secured a collar around Rob's neck and clipped on a leash. The interior of the collar, in contact with his neck, had spikes. If he struggled, the points would hurt him. After one attempt he gave up. The smiling man spoke softly in his ear. "Keep your head clear, good luck."

When Rob stood, his legs nearly buckled under him. He realized he had been okay sitting, but was still fuzzy-headed. He followed Mistress Iris through a short corridor and out into a large room. He saw a mix of both men and women, all dressed in S&M outfits. Expectantly, they waited for the next scene. Rob realized he was their entertainment.

Mistress Iris led him to the platform. He saw, with fear, a display of many kinds of whips and floggers. This was no loving S&M anymore, this was the real stuff for full, hard sadism.

Two assistants led him to a round frame. He tried to resist, but a yank on the leash to his collar made clear it was a bad idea. He thought he felt warm spots and wondered it the spikes on his neck had drawn blood. With his back to the frame, his wrists were secured in steel cuffs, arms spread wide. His feet were pulled roughly apart to be placed on small steps. His ankles were also secured in steel. There were gaps in the frame, his shoulders and his bum were exposed. When he was completely fastened, the step was removed. He was now hanging by the cuffs, his arms taking most of his weight, the steel biting into his flesh.

Suddenly he saw what was coming. The round frame could be turned. Whatever was coming, he would likely endure upside down.

There was no warning, there was no warm-up. Suddenly he felt the sharp stings of several cords from a flogger.

"Aah!" He yelled in pain. The crowd cheered.

The mistress stopped immediately and said to the crowd: "This slave is insubordinate, he deserves a severe punishment. But, he is also frightened of pain and I don't care to hear his pitiful sounds so I shall gag him."

"No, she kidnapped me!" Rob's shouts were lost to the noise of the excited crowd.

A ball gag was roughly shoved into his mouth. Someone secured the strap behind his neck. Mistress Iris produced a large clamp and put it on Rob's nipple. He screamed again. No one seemed interested in intervening. If anything, they liked his reaction. A clamp went on on his other nipple, then a chain clipped between them, it already had a few weights on it. This was really different from other clamps he had experienced before, this this kind of pain would not fade with time.

Then she hit him a few more times, on his back, his upper thigh and his bum. Soon he felt a dull pain spreading on the parts of his body where she had hit him. Finally she stopped. She rotated the rack just a little, shifting how his arms held his weight and how the weight pulled on his nipples. Rob moaned from pain as the weights suddenly shifted across his chest. His nipples being torn off might not hurt more, he was thinking.

She took out another flogger. This one was more painful. Each time she hit him she created another harsh stripe. Rob moaned and cried in his gag, but all in vain. There was nothing he could do. He hung by his bindings, unable to escape the hits as she whipped him without mercy. It seemed forever before she stopped. She rotated him to the side, his weight hanging from one arm and one leg. At least the pain was different.

She took a small rattan cane from the rack. She showed it to the crowd, who fell silent. She applied the cane to the bottoms of his feet. The first hit Rob didn't feel right away. The hurt took some time to reach his brain, but then he felt something he had never experienced before. The burning sensation was so intense, he almost fainted. She turned him upside down, then to the other side. He knew what was coming and his teeth bit the gag, She struck his other foot, again just once. Tears flowed, he was crying. The mistress just looked at him, her eyes had no expression at all.

The rack turned again, this time leaving him upside down. Now she used the cane on his bum. Stroke after stroke was given, she didn't appear to care whether the strokes were placed next to another. Some strokes crossed and where they crossed blood appeared. Rob shrieked and howled in his gag. He didn't notice some people in the crowd thought this an extremely hard punishment and no longer were cheering.

Finally she stopped, laid down the rattan, but one of the other mistresses handed her a whip. "Now you shall truly understand the meaning of worshiping a mistress."

She stepped a few yards from him, unrolled the whip and cracked the whip in the air. The crowd went silent. Then she started to lash him. Each time when the tip of the whip hit him, it began to bleed. After five strokes she decided it was enough. Rob had fainted.

Chapter 19

The two assisting mistresses turned the wheel until he was upright. They removed the gag, slapped him on the face, then threw a cup of water in his face. He woke up to the sound of applause for the mistress as she bowed. She didn't give him another look. The smiling man helped him down off the platform. Rob could hardly walk. He leaned on the man, who had to support most of Rob's weight to get him back to the waiting room. He was guided to lie down, the cuffs were taken off his wrists. The smiling man examined his wounds and put a salve on them. It stung sharply, Rob tried to resist.

"This is for you own good, you'll heal much faster."

Within a few minutes Rob felt good enough to ask for his clothes. They were handed to him, but he made no effort to dress. He noticed a cane, perhaps the one she'd used on him, lay on the table near him. An idea, just an impulse, came to mind.

"You were strong to take all she did." The smiling man finally wasn't smiling, he was looking at Rob with concern. "She can be very cruel. Are you okay?"

"Do you have more of that sugar water?" Rob was given another cupful.

"Don't drink too much of this stuff, it's not good for you." Even so, he gave Rob a refill, leaving the plastic pitcher on the table.

"But a beating is considered okay?" Rob asked with fury and sarcasm. He could felt strength returning to his body. His idea was growing more appealing.

The man replied as if he hadn't heard Rob's words, instead gesturing to Rob's clothes. "I can take you back when you're ready. You're lucky, the cuts aren't deep. I've seen much worse. When you get home use some oil. The bruises will disappear in a few days."

"I need more time to rest."

Rob had something to do before he left. He looked around the room, all kinds of S&M related items were stored there, hung on the wall and even from the ceiling. But he had something even more intimidating in mind. Leaning on the table, Rob noticed it was not steady. He checked and discovered the nut holding on the leg beside him could be removed. The table leg would be a perfect weapon. No one would face him, swinging it in his hand.

The man left the room. Rob tried to stand and managed to do so without collapsing. He poured himself another glass of the sugar water. More than just sugar, he thought, but it's working. He quickly spun the nut to remove the leg from the table. It was a good length, wide at the top but tapering down to a good fit to his hand near the bottom tip. It gave a strong swishing sound as he swung it back and forth. There was a heavy screw sticking out where he'd removed the nut, he would be careful where it went.

He felt as though his back and bum were on fire, but his feet were by far the worst. Instead of holding him back, the pain gave him the adrenaline to proceed. Anger had become an understatement, he was in a raging fury. The cane had a leather wrist strap, he slipped his hand through it and let it dangle beside the table leg.

He stepped out of the corridor to see Iris on the platform, busy with another victim. No one was looking in his direction. He walked toward her, as well as he could given how bad he felt. Walking seemed to give him more strength, seeing his objective gave him more determination. He had to push people aside to pass through. Some turned to complain, but fell back as soon as they saw the fury on his face and the club in his hand. They were here for BDSM, but not the kind of violence he promised. He lifted the table leg to hold in both hands, sometimes nudging people out of his way with it, quickly spreading out the crowd to let him pass.

Before he knew it, he broke through the front of the crowd, giving him free access to the platform. His bum hurt a lot, but at the same time it gave him the courage to go on, fueled by anger. A man, a guard of some kind, was standing beside the platform and moved to stop him. The sight of Rob coming toward him swinging a club was enough to make him fall back, but too slowly. The table leg was already swinging in an arc. The guard put up his arm protect himself, the club struck the man's forearm with a loud crack.

The man in response gave a cry and fell backwards, clutching his arm. Rob saw his face and realized it was the other man who had kidnapped him outside Cathy's house. "I might come back to break something else, after I've seen to Iris."

The crowd quickly went silent when Rob stepped onto the platform. The two other Mistresses fled from the platform as soon as they saw him. Iris didn't notice his arrival. She turned to see why the crowd was quiet and saw him. "What are you doing here, anger boy? Didn't you have enough?"

Then she noticed he was unbound and holding a thick stick in his hands. "Provost!"

"He isn't available, I broke his arm." Rob made sure the crowd heard him. "You're next!"

Iris called to her audience for help, but the crowd didn't move forward, afraid to intervene. Some were turning to rush for the exit. Rob shifted the club into his left hand. The cane swung into his grip, he began swinging. He hit her so hard on the knee, where her skin was exposed, blood appeared immediately. It wasn't many hits before she cried out and fell to her knees, arms protecting her head. Rob hit her on the other leg, another blood stroke. She put her forehead on the platform, begging him for mercy.

The crowd was completely silent. Without mercy he hit her on her bum and back, knowing hitting her through the leather had less effect. What he did was enough to extract howls from his victim, who squirmed away from the blows but did little to defend herself. The crowd was silent, none spoke or moved. This was unheard of at their club, their main Mistress been made into a crying, trembling woman. Could this be the Mistress everyone feared?

He took her by the hair and pulled her upright, still on her knees. He shouted, wanting to be sure the crowd hear what he said. "You said your demonstration was about uncooperative slaves. I am not a slave at all. You shall learn how men respond to mistreatment."

He faced the crowd. "I was kidnapped and drugged by this bitch. My presence in this stupid BDSM demonstration was against my will. Now she must suffer the consequences of her decision. If anyone wishes to defend her, step forward, I'll happily do the same thing I did to the guard." He threw her back down on the platform.

"Now for the real pain!" He grabbed one ankle and dragged her leg upwards. Her skirt fell away, leaving her inner thigh fully exposed. He hit her twice, carefully, not rushing, making sure the strokes crossed. Iris fainted, but Rob had no mercy, he slapped her brusquely in her face and she came to. He repeated the treatment to her other leg, two crossing strokes on the inner thigh.

He was still naked. For his final act of revenge, he urinated on his victim, prostrate on the platform. She came out of her faint when he streamed his urine onto to her face.

He shouted his final words to her, again taking care to assure the crowd heard him. "You or your friends come near me again and what I've just done will seem mild by comparison. If you ever trouble me again, you miserable piece of crap, I promise this building will burn to the ground. I'll find you at home and bring you the full repercussions of your criminal act. Then I'll feed you to my dogs."

Rob picked up the table leg he'd dropped. He swung it in a circle as he stepped off the platform, the crowd parted to give him plenty of room. None dared to stop him as he walked back to the waiting room. His limp was more evident, he was feeling more pain now. The smiling man there stared as though Rob had done something terrible. "You said you would drive me back. Now! Do it!" Rob dressed quickly. The man was afraid now, after all he had participated in the kidnapping. He quickly took Rob out of the building. Rob still carried the table leg and the cane, he'd decided to keep them.

It appeared the party was over, likely his doing. There were many people going to the same exit Rob was being led to. He could hear whispering, but everyone stayed well away from him. Rob was relieved no one tried to stop him; he was tired of the violence. The car was parked in the building next door, it might have been a warehouse. There were many more people there getting into their cars.

Just before he got into the car, he pulled out his mobile and took a photo of the number plate. He turned to the man who had been smiling so much. "Just so you understand you're not safe."

chapter 20

Rob had been snatched in the early afternoon. It was after nine at night when he got out of the car. He walked unsteadily up the path and rang Cathy's doorbell, leaning on the doorframe for support.

Cathy's first words were reproach. "Where have you been? Your car's been here since midday, but you were nowhere to be seen. Are you having cold feet? Did you go for a walk? You should have called, Helena and I have been worried."

Rob walked through to her living room even as she spoke. Cathy saw him limping, saw the odd, heavy stick and a rattan cane he was carrying. "Rob, what is all this?"

"A Mistress named Iris took an interest in me." Rob told her what happened to him.

"That bitch. I'll have her arse for this." She reached for the telephone.

"I've had it already."

"You what?"

"Once I had my strength back after the beating, I decided to give it back to her. Along the way I think I broke the arm of one of the men who kidnapped me."

Cathy put her hand to her mouth. "How did you do that?"

"This is the leg from a table, it was already loose so it came off easily. And this, this is the very cane she used on me. I jumped up on the platform and hit her with the cane, as hard as I could. She was wearing leather, I made no effort to be moderate. There was some blood. I ended with two blows on each inner thigh. Thanks to what I heard when you taught Helena, I knew to make them cross."

Rob repeated what Iris said when she first saw him. "Who the hell is she anyway?"

"You might say she is a queen among BDSM mistresses. She leads a group, quite exclusive, I understand there are several locations across the UK."

"Her position may have changed. I degraded her by more than just hitting her back. The last thing I did before leaving was piss on her, literally, in front of what remained of her audience. I don't think she'll be able to look them in the eye after this."

"That might be. Rob, what else have you done?"

"That's everything. I may do more, I'll have Helena's security people find out more about Iris. It would please me to dismantle her little community. They may be forced to look elsewhere for their meetings."

Cathy frowned. "Be very careful. Wealthy and powerful people play in that circle. I'll wager there were a few prominent politicians working their way toward the exit once you reappeared on Iris' platform.

"You can be an extremely dangerous man, Rob. I'd have never thought you had this in you." Cathy said it respectfully, but she was also feeling fear for Rob. Here was proof he had further to progress in managing his anger so things can't get out of hand. In this case, he had all the right in the world to retaliate.

"Okay, Rob. Enough talk, let's check you. Face down on the couch, let me look at your back."

Rob undressed and showed her his wounds. Cathy saw he was still wearing the leather belt under his shirt, she released the buckle behind his back. His clothes had spots of blood. On the couch, he felt a sudden exhaustion come over him, all his nervous energy dissipated. He counted himself lucky he'd made it back to Cathy's house without a mishap.

"Your story seems beyond belief, yet this belt has only one purpose. These wounds are unmistakable. Okay, upstairs to my bath. Take a shower, not too hot, then I'll treat your injuries with ointment to help your bruises disappear. I can't do much more about your wounds, they will heal soon, but for now they will hurt."

"I am sorry you had to see me like this, I'm sorry to tell you about another episode of anger. You must understand how completely my limits were violated today. I thought I could never be angrier than when Helena and Marion chained me." He sighed. "Now I worry what will come back to me, you or Helena, as a result of what I've done."

"I wouldn't worry. I guarantee most of the witnesses are afraid of you. I daresay everyone there will keep their distance, especially Iris."

She inspected his back. "I'll sponge you carefully and try not to hurt you too much."

Cathy led Rob upstairs. She shed her clothes. "After hearing your story I feel I must clean myself. It's just mental, I know, but what Iris did in the name of BDSM just makes me feel so dirty. You know for yourself, Rob, a game can be fulfilling, enjoyable with two people interacting, acting out their scene. I think it's the most intimate thing lovers can have."

She guided him into the shower, took a sponge and softly touched it to the spots on his back.

Rob winced as she began wiping. "What you do and what she did are different as night and day, Cathy. This episode started with a genuine crime and got worse from there. It shows what I've said to you, very few people are truly worthy of one's trust."

She gently kissed him, pressing her body against his. They both felt his cock thickening. She reached down to hold his cock for a moment, gave it a squeeze.

"Always the mistress?" Rob said contemplatively. In spite of his stiffening dick, he simply wasn't in the mood for any play at all. He was finally starting to relax, a pleasant fatigue was filling him. An unexpected emotion overtook him, he shuddered from a suppressed sob. "Sorry, my nerves."

He dropped his head to Cathy's shoulder and began cry. Cathy held him in her arms. She knew simply holding him and silently giving him comfort was the best thing for him in the instant. Later she would do more. After a few minutes the sobbing slowed, she could feel his arms and shoulder lose their tension.

He turned to hold his face in the shower stream, the water flowing over his face clearing the tears away. "Sorry, I couldn't help it, reaction to the day's events I suppose."

"It's perfectly normal. It simply shows you are human."

They stepped out of the shower. "I want to see what I can learn about your adventure today," Cathy said. "I'm going to phone a friend who's likely heard what happened, might even have been there." With just a towel wrapped around her she went to her bedroom to pick up her phone. She came back, phone in one hand, the other hand drying herself with no inhibitions. Rob dried himself more slowly and listened but he could hear mostly just Cathy asking questions, then pausing.

The phone call ended, Cathy had a little more news. "It seems Iris and her provost are in hospital tonight. He does have a broken arm. The hospital called the police, based on the nature of the injuries. She told them only a game got out of hand, she didn't want press charges."

"Very reassuring. I was drugged and kidnapped, I'm pretty sure the man who did it can be induced to testify. Did I mention I took a photo of his number plate? I made sure he saw me do it, I wanted Iris to know. If she claims she was assaulted, I'd have a great deal to say to the police." He looked in the mirror to check his behind, his wounds weren't bad. The smiling man in the waiting room had helped him. "I know where the club is, roughly. I recognized roads on the outskirts of Northampton as we returned." He didn't notice the brief look of surprise on Cathy's face when he mentioned the location.

"I'm sure Iris will remember this day for a very, very long time. Come to bed Rob. You don't have to make love with me, if you don't feel like it." She game him an impish smile. "I completely understand, but I am more than just a little disappointed."

"I need to drink, I can feel how thirsty I am now."

"Hmm, what do I have you might wear? I don't have a bathrobe, I do have a babydoll." She gave Rob a broad wink. "I was just teasing, of course I have a bathrobe." She opened a cupboard and took out a pink, ruffled babydoll and a white plain terry cloth bathrobe. "You choose."

Cathy thought he would back away from wearing such a feminine item. She was wrong. "Nice babydoll, will it fit me?"

Despite what she knew about Rob, Cathy was still surprised. "No, I just wanted to tease you. If I'd thought you would be willing to wear it, I wouldn't have offered it to you. I should have known better. Hey, wait." With a triumphant smile she pulled out a package with a pink nylon nightgown with matching negligee, each had nice lace accents. "It was my plan at some point this weekend to let you sleep with me but only if you wore these." She handed him the set. "I bought it expecting you to object so it could be part of my game. I see now it would have been no problem for you and my fun spoilt."

The pink nightgown was a good fit. The material was soft and smooth, perfect to wear against his injured skin. Cathy another package from her cupboard, the same set in black and in her size. "There must be some distance between a Mistress and her sub."

The energy of Rob's objection surprised Cathy. "No! No sub, no mistress. Don't you ever think I'm your sub. I'm your friend, well, I'd like to think I'm your friend, even if a friend with odd interests. Don't claim to be my mistress. For the past few months I've been thinking no one will ever be my mistress."

"Oh, Rob, I'm sorry! Yes, you are one of my dearest friends. In fact, you are the only man who has ever joined me in my bedroom." She stepped to him, they kissed and hugged.

Rob felt his dick hardening, in spite of his tiredness and wounds, his dick betrayed him. He hastily withdrew from her embrace, not wanting Cathy to know he had an erection again.. "Shall we get something to drink?"

"Of course, let's go down to the kitchen." Cathy led the way, but reached back to grab his dick through the soft material of his nightgown. "You think I wouldn't notice? You're tired Rob, but your dick says you have a bit left in you."

She didn't let go as they went down the stair. At the bottom she stopped for another kiss, her hand stroking his erection through the silky nylon.

Chapter 21

In the kitchen he filled the largest glass he could find with water from the sink and quickly consumed it. Cathy was looking through her larder. "When did you eat last? Let me make something."

She got some soup into a saucepan to heat, then showed him two bottles of wine. "Do you dare drink some wine? White or red?"

He studied the labels. "This is a German sweet wine, we'll drink the white." He opened the bottle and filled two glasses with the white wine while Cathy checked in the soup. "It smells delicious in here, it must be because I'm indeed hungry." He slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

"Oh, Rob, please let me finish, we have time for that after." She smiled, pleased as she filled two bowls. Rob carried the wine, Cathy carried the soup to the living room, where they ate at the low table by the couch. Cathy sat on the couch, but Rob knelt on the carpet. His bum still hurt too much, any pressure was painful.

Rob finished quickly. "I realize now how hungry I am."

"Go get more, there's lots of soup. Grab some of the bread on the counter, too." Cathy saw the way Rob wolfed down his soup. Rob quickly returned with another full bowl and a plate with two thick slices of bread. When he finished the soup and bread, he felt much better.

Cathy was watching Rob as they ate. Part of her attention was clinical, how he was handling his physical and mental injuries. Part was simply interest in the man before her. He seemed quite comfortable in pink nightgown, not at all self-conscious. It took a bit to get used to it, but what he was wearing quickly become natural for her as well.

Cathy decided to tease him. "Finally I have you on your knees before your Mistress; it seems Iris did me a favor." She saw Rob tense up immediately, but the soft smile on her face made it clear what she'd said was a joke, she wasn't mocking him or trying to claim the title of mistress.

"Would you like that of me? Would you like me to kneel at your feet?"

Cathy couldn't quite read his intent. She decided honesty was the best policy. "I would like it very much Rob. To be honest it gives me the shivers to think you might really mean it, you would recognize me as your Mistress."

"I will kneel before you, because I want to make you feel good and I am prepared to honor you. To make you feel good. But I can never acknowledge anybody to be my Mistress. I'm sorry, the only exception might have been Helena, but not even her, not right now. There's no guarantee even Helena will have my trust again."

Cathy sighed. "You would do me such an honor if you would submit to me, Rob. Can't you reconsider? I can ask Helena for permission, I won't do anything without her consent. You are so dear to me, you have no idea. And, well, I must admit I get decidedly non-mistress feelings for you, I feel something for you I've never felt for anybody else. I could never inflict much pain on you, Rob, I just couldn't."

He held up his hand. "You don't require Helena's permission, but you must have my consent. Why is it mistresses come out of the woodwork around me? They're so eager to take me on, then horrid mistakes are made."

"Well, I suppose it's your independent mind we want to possess. Helena, Marion, Kim, Kate and I, any of us would be quite proud to say 'this is my man.' You have a commitment to Helena, but you could be my S&M partner as well. I don't go to parties, I just want to play with you and end with some pleasure. It could be rewarding for both of us."

"I might to you but it can't be just you, can it? Marion and Helena each want to play, adding you makes it three. Isn't it three or none? Show me how to say no to Marion while I say yes to you. I just don't have enough interest to be everybody's sub or slave or whatever you might call it.

"Think of the planning each game would require. First you must have Helena's permission. Then you ask me to agree, then set a time and date. Don't forget, I'm not a doormat, it's likely you will want to do things I will decline. Even if a date is set to play, circumstance may change my mood, I may not be willing when the time comes, I might cancel."

His eyebrows came down, his mouth became a tight line. The sudden anger on his face was frightening, especially when Cathy knew what he had done to Iris. As she tried to decide what to say, his face relaxed again. There was kindness in his eyes again, a friendly set to his smile. She found she had been tensed and made herself relax.

"You frightened me for a moment Rob."

"I'm sorry, for a moment I was making a list of the things I've endured, some by negligence and some by intent."

Cathy felt she had to correct him. "Rob, name one time I harmed you."

He gave her a grim smile. "On my inner leg, our first session. I used that experience when I hit Iris, as I told you."

"Now, Rob, it was necessary to find your limits, it was our first time."

His response was calm, in a conversational tone, but still signaled a challenge to her words. "Why? Why must you all find my limits, go right up to them? I can't see a difference between testing my limits and pushing my limits, stretching my boundaries, dragging me into more and more extreme things.

"Cathy, there is a significant difference between the limit of what I can endure and the limit of what I am willing to tolerate. This is precisely my point in refusing to submit or play. Everybody wants to train me, while I require no training at all. No one listens to me, no one discusses my limits, then when they make me angry, it's my fault."

Cathy looked as if she had been hit. Rob was instantly sorry for his blunt words. "I'm sorry I offended you. I'm giving you honest feedback about how I feel."

"Maybe we better say goodbye to each other if you think so badly of me."

"As you wish." Rob walked out of the room and went upstairs. His clothes were lying on the bed, he took off the nightgown and began trying to dress himself.

Cathy burst into the room. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Going home, you did tell me to leave. I don't think badly of you, but I do think we're just upsetting each other."

"I didn't mean my words literally. I was angry." She stopped with a grimace, trying to decide what to say. "I don't know what I really meant. I just know I want you, one way or another. Don't you have feelings for me?"

He took her hands. "Cathy, I have feelings for you, perhaps too much. Which is precisely why it's so hard to say these things to you. I have not been good at making myself plain with you because I have feelings for you. But after that foolishness of being chained overnight, I won't have sex with a woman I haven't been completely clear with first. Cathy, I imagine I'd love to play games with you. I'd like you to be like a mistress to me. I would like to give you all my trust. I imagine what you and I want are similar.

"But I don't dare. Don't you see? I've been hurt, badly, too many times. Suppose an accident happens, just a slight mis-step, nothing you decide to do, hardly your fault. The moment I feel unwanted pain, I feel you've crossed a line, even through a slip, then I lose trust in you. In the instant I'll likely react badly, I'll curse you, believe me I will, I can't control my tongue when I'm angry. Cathy, I'm afraid of what else I might do. If you let me free I'm a threat to your safety, if you don't release me I'll just get angrier. I don't want you to face such a decision.

"It comes down to a conclusion I don't like, I'm sure you won't. I have no reason to even try trusting anyone in this kind of game, ever again, because I see I cannot trust myself. I think I should just take my dogs, move elsewhere and make a re-start somewhere where I don't know anybody. Then I can just leave BDSM behind."

Cathy had tears welling in her eyes. "Have you been hurt so many times?"

"With Jenny it was 20 lost years of living a lie, culminated in her cruelty when I was bound in Marion's dungeon. Then Marion, then Helena and Marion together. More sessions have ended badly than well. I understand Iris was off the charts, but what happened today illustrates my point. I can't take it anymore. No, not that. It's I see no reason to be willing to take any of it."

"We must talk Rob. Tomorrow it's Sunday. You really must to talk with me, as friend and as psychiatrist and as lover."

"I don't see why."

Still, he sounded hesitant, Cathy pressed her argument. "Rob, please, I'm asking you to pause for a few minutes. I must phone Helena, I just realized she doesn't know what happened today. She needs to hear what you just told me, soon. She can join us tomorrow to talk or she can stay at home, as she sees fit. Perhaps Marion can come as well. At the least, you and I must talk this through. We must get rid of this nonsense you have in your head. Helena and Marion didn't betray you, only Jenny did. Sure, Helena and Marion screwed things up, but not so badly it can't be mended."

She thought she had one more, convincing argument to keep him with her. "And I want you in my bed right now. I want to hold you, I want to feel your dick inside me and I want you to feel safe and secure. In short: I want your arse, you are mine this night, pain or not." The last was thrown out as a joke, she didn't expect to do much.

Rob took a long pause before speaking, his eyes holding hers. His face had no clear expression. When he spoke, his voice was calm, quiet. "First, Cathy, not Marion, absolutely not. She has been prominent in not quite every one of my problems. In future I intend to severely limit what she is permitted. She will hurt the discussion, she will be no help. She is not welcome."

His voice stayed quiet, but was more scornful. "Now, I don't give a fig if you want me in bed or not. You're a fool to think you can catch me at the end of such a dreadful day and expect me to have sex. Have my arse, what bollocks!"

"Rob, I'm sorry, it was supposed to be a joke. I would never, ever force you to have sex. Now, as for Marion, I must respect your viewpoint. I don't know her, nor your history with her.

"To tell you the truth, my one argument for you not leaving is you're in no condition to drive. Where you sleep here is entirely up to you. Let's go back downstairs. Put your nightgown back on and please, let's talk. I was going to say you owe me that. To be honest, I think I owe it to you."

With a sigh Rob dropped his clothes, putting the nightgown and robe back on. "Cathy, just to be clear, I don't think you owe me this discussion. If we talk, I'll be more in your debt."

They went back downstairs. She headed for her office. He followed but she pointed to the living room. "I'll call Helena, fill her in. Go and wait."

Rob made himself comfortable by lying sideways on the couch, to take pressure off his wounds. And Cathy wanted him to make love, when he couldn't take any pressure on his bottom at all? If they did have sex, it would be the missionary position, nothing else. Even moving around made his wounds start to burn once again; putting on clothes had hurt more than he'd expected. He hoped his wounds didn't start bleeding again. He checked carefully, with his hand, but didn't see anything disturbing. Still, it did hurt a lot. From Rob's viewpoint, he was neither physically nor emotionally prepared to have sex.

He took another sip of his wine, but he'd had enough. He went to the coffee-machine in the kitchen. There he made a nice cup of cappuccino. It warmed his hands, it wasn't cold in the house but he was feeling chilly. He began to shiver. He wanted to sit up, but knew he couldn't. He lay down on the living room carpet, trembling and shaking and unable to do anything about it. He felt hot and cold at the same time. Quickly his world went black.

Chapter 22

Rob heard footsteps going away, whispering in the distance. He was on his side. He felt cushions under his neck and behind his back to keep him in position. The view directly before him looked like Cathy's living room, with very low lighting.

Faces appeared before him. They were people he knew, their faces worried: Kim and Cathy near him, Helena and Marion looking over their shoulders. "I treated him for shock. I don't see any injuries suggesting we won't have him back tomorrow." It sounded like Cathy's voice, but somehow all sounds were muffled.

"Cathy did well, your wounds will heal quickly." It sounded like Kim but he could only see the lips moving, not the face. "I think what happened today caught up with you. You just have shock, real, physical shock. What you need most is sleep. I'll be back to see you again tomorrow."

Cathy could see Rob's eyes, scanning the four faces. "I didn't know what to do Rob, I called everyone who might help. You're too heavy for us to carry you upstairs, we settled on keeping you where we found you."

Kim gave him an injection in his arm. Within seconds Rob felt his eyes become heavy.

When Rob awoke again, the light in the room suggested sunlight outside. He could hear voices from the kitchen. He tried calling out but failed. Somehow going there seemed like less effort. Leaning on the low table, he stood. Supporting himself on the furniture, doorframes, walls, stumbling occasionally, he followed the sound of voices to the kitchen

Cathy saw him first. "Good morning sleepyhead." She gave him soft smile but looked worried.

There was a chair free right before him. He sat with caution but found it workable. He shivered, Cathy quickly fetched a blanket from his temporary bed and wrapped him. He realized Kim was seated across the table from him.

"Can I have some water? I'm so thirsty."

Cathy gave him a glass. "You've had quite the drug cocktail. We imagine the sugar-water you got at the dungeon had uppers in it, then Kim gave you downers to make sure you slept. And the anesthetic when they kidnapped you before that. And you did require sleep. It's past ten now, you slept nearly twelve hours. I suspect you ended yesterday well dehydrated. If you feel a little like you're hung over, it's because you are."

Rob drank the water. He felt better almost immediately and realized he was also hungry. "Could I have something to eat? I'm sorry, ordinarily I'd grab something for myself, but I feel a bit... unstable," Rob hesitated in saying the last word.

Cathy brought a plate she had already prepared with him bread, ham and cheese. Rob accepted them gratefully and started to eat. Cathy put a teacup and a full pot of tea before him, she kept his cup full from he pot. He felt his shivering diminish.

Kim came around the table to take his pulse then used a flashlight to check his eyes. She gave Rob a kiss and whispered in his ear. "Come back to us." She turned to Cathy. "I leave the patient in your charge, Doctor. He's doing fine." Kim left the room.

Cathy sat down at the table with Rob, refilled his tea and poured a cup for herself. "Marion, Kim and Helena were here for two hours last night. They all left after you went to sleep. Listen: they'll all be back this afternoon, I intend we talk more. I made my mind up about the things you said to me. Physically, soon you will be completely recovered."

"What then?"

"I'm going to suggest to Helena you stay in my care. Bring your dogs here, move in. In the mornings I want you take long walks. When I don't have patients I'd like to walk with you. In the afternoons we'll do sessions, maybe an evening session as well, or maybe just talk. We might have sex. I'll handle you with care, but you must have help. That bitch Iris has no idea what she has done to you. You were already hurt; what she did was the finishing blow."

Rob thought Iris might have done him a great favor. He said nothing and let her continue talking.

"It is either this, Rob or our paths will part. I ask for your trust, I deserve it, you know your experience with me has been almost entirely good. You must trust me, I ask you, no, I demand it! You have serious issues, Rob, we must work on your behavior. You have been hurt, more than once. Now you must heal for your own sake as well as those around you."

Rob knew Cathy was right. He also knew he wasn't willing to lose contact with her. Still, he'd noticed what she said. "I'd like to agree. But you should know you lost credibility with me moment you said you demand my trust. That kind of talk is what pushes me away. Helena does it too.

"I know everyone wants to be here to help. I won't have it. Helena was right when we finished my last weekend with you, the next time it should be without her. I won't do this with everyone else watching me. I want privacy. I know they all want the best for me, but I cannot stand them watching as you humiliate me. In fact, humiliation can only be done with my approval. Each session will require my consent before it starts, you will tell me in advance what you're going to do, otherwise I won't feel safe."

"Rob, I promise you, you won't be humiliated for real. We can do as you ask, you make the boundaries, you decide what is permissible. But I propose to challenge your mental barriers, I can promise you. It has nothing to do with humiliation, but everything with giving me your trust, which I will show you is not misplaced, I will show you I am worthy of the trust you give me."

Rob sighed, his head dropping to rest on his arm on the table. He felt like an exhausted schoolboy. He was too tired to debate so he conceded. "Okay."

They paid no attention to the passage of time, sitting in the kitchen, sipping tea. Cathy talked about inconsequential things, Rob spoke a little, gradually feeling stronger, more alert. As they cleared away from lunch Helena's car came to a stop at the curb. Helena and Marion came into the house, bringing with them Inca and Nicky.

They quickly descended on Rob, covering him with kisses, the dogs trying to squeeze in to show they too were happy to see him again. Rob just let it happen, not doing much to participate.

Cathy thought there had been enough greetings. "Ladies, please, Rob is okay. In a few days his physical wounds will be healed. But I want to discuss his emotional condition with you, the wounds he has there."

You could have heard a pin drop, everyone was instantly quiet.

Rob wasn't sure he was interested in hearing his fate decided by this tribunal. "Should I leave?"

He was surprised it was Helena who answered. "That's a good idea, honey. Cathy can speak about you more freely with us when you're not here." He realized this was Helena taking charge of her man - or her possession. It remained to be shown which.

Rob grabbed his coat and put leashes on his Dobermans. He walked slowly at first, enjoying the feel and smell of the autumn air. It felt good to be outdoors. There was his car, where he'd left it, luggage still in the boot, key in his coat pocket. He wondered if he'd had enough of all this, as he'd told Cathy. He toyed with leaving, going back to his own flat and staying there until he was healed. What was the hurry?

He couldn't disagree with Cathy's observation, he wasn't his old self. He saw an answer available and decided he'd let her try with him.

As he wandered the nearby park, he wondered if it would be a good idea for him to recognize her as his Mistress. Was she the woman he could give himself to, fully and completely? He might get something in return, in the form of self-understanding. She might be right about the remedy for his deeper feelings. He could see now the beating he gave Iris might have been more than simply payback, beating her for her own wrongs. He had to consider he'd also beaten her for wrongs, imagined or real, at the hands of other women, back as far as his years of marriage to Jenny. The hurt Jenny had given him now seemed deeper, more lasting than he had thought at the time. Yes, he could use Cathy's help. He would put his well-being in her hands. If she wanted him to kneel before her and call her Mistress, he didn't mind for a short time. It was a small price to pay to recover his peace of mind.

Kim had arrived during the hour he was walking the dogs, she gave him a smile and a wink as he came in. The women were talking, but it was small talk, they were relaxed. He was not their topic any more, they must have reached an understanding in the time he was out.

Helena called Rob to sit beside her. He did so with some hesitation, as his bum wasn't fully healed yet. Very carefully he sat down on the couch next to Helena.

Helena whispered to him. "My dearest, will you listen to us and not be angry?"

He looked at her with questioning eyes, then nodded. He had no idea what was planned. Inca and Nicky laid themselves at his feet, as if they were protecting him.

Helena turned to the others in the room. "Ladies, I shall tell Rob about our discussion, the issue we face and our solution." She turned back to Rob. "We are all agreed, Rob, your physical recovery will be pretty quick. I have every reason to expect Iris will remember you for a long time. But, you also had an emotional meltdown. We think not just Iris was responsible."

She looked at him with great tenderness. "I'll to do anything to get your trust again. I'll kiss your feet if it would help; you could give me a whipping, if that made you feel better." She smiled mischievously. "I must admit I'd rather it not be a whipping.

"Cathy has proposed a course of treatment and we support her proposal. She wants you to stay with her for two weeks or so. During this time we can visit you or you can come to see us, you'll be free to come and go. When we visit you, I expect we'll join in what Cathy is doing. This really can't go on any longer, the anger, the mistrust, you passing out whenever the tension level drops off from its peak. We can't have you passing out after another adrenaline rush."

Cathy picked up the conversation. "Rob, whenever you feel in danger, your senses sharpen, your reaction time is much better and I don't want to mention your strength. But after the danger, when you feel safe again, you collapse. Had you driven to my place from Iris, you might have blacked out while you were driving the car, think on that."

Rob was growing impatient with all the preamble. "So what have you decided?"

Helena spoke firmly. "We've decided Cathy will treat you as she sees fit. You must follow her direction. We start today. Marion and I, Kim, we won't interfere, but we may participate from time to time. We might stay overnight once you've physically healed. To tell you the truth, I'm planning to fuck your brains out as soon as I can, it's been a long wait." Kim and Marion showed their agreement by nodding with encouraging smiles.

Rob was expecting to accept, but didn't like the way it was being stated as a demand. "Have I nothing to say about it?"

Helena's answer was quick. "The alternative would be an examination from a Doctor. No doubt there will be all manner of tests, not to mention embarrassing questions about the circumstances. No doubt the conclusion, after a series of medical exams, will be the same as Cathy and Kim's, when you suffer the effects of too much stress, too much excitement, you can pass out when the crisis is over. I don't know what treatment would be prescribed, but I reckon it will be long and dull.

"Rob, with Cathy's help, I expect better results, quickly. From what I've heard, the treatment itself isn't so bad either. I leave it up to her to give you the full details. She wants to start right this moment, meaning we should leave now." Helena stood, Marion and Kim followed her lead.

Cathy rose to her feet a few seconds after the others, Rob stood after her. "I think by Wednesday, Rob will be able to entertain us all, if he is willing."

"I'm really looking forward to it, Rob." Helena put a brazen hand over his dick through his trousers. She whispered to him. "Let's go outside for a moment dear."

Rob followed her out the door. The other women weren't surprised to see them leave. She led him down the hall into Cathy's office, closing the door behind them.

She spoke without hesitating. "Rob, I must tell you again how much I regret my actions. I feel very guilty. I have no idea how I can regain your trust. Cathy described to us the treatment she has planned. I hesitated at first, but on reflection I think it the best solution."

She took a step closer to him, their faces close together. "She's going to introduce herself to you as your Mistress, I wanted to let you know that."

Rob's face darkened. "I would prefer no mistress at all. Why can't we simply have friends we play with, once in a great while?"

"No mistress at all? What about me?"

"If I were to have a mistress, it could be only you. At the moment not even that is feasible. No one else."

Helena didn't like Rob's words, but she had confidence Cathy could change his outlook. "For now, it will be good for you to treat her as your Mistress, just for this short time. Rob, it's difficult for me to give you into her care, but I think we all benefit. My benefit is governed by how much you benefit so please join in with your whole heart. I give you permission to do anything with her and for her, as she asks. Don't think for a moment you're cheating on me, normally I would be present and get my share. For now that's set aside; she will explain her treatment, including why."

"So, you're telling me for now she's my Mistress. I thought I promised the title to you at our little ceremony. You understand, I'm sure, it's necessary to earn my trust all over again on the S&M games, but out in the world, in real life, you do have my trust. I do want to be your husband, you are the closest friend I've ever had. You have my heart, nothing will change that. I left you when I was angry, because of an event. You must appreciate I'm not a play toy, but your partner. I need respect, the respect you give to a partner. By chaining me and a hundred other ways that awful night, you demonstrated the complete opposite of respect. That's a barrier now."

He nodded. "Now you know everything I've been thinking."

There were tears in Helena's eyes. "Oh, my sweet!" She hugged Rob, held him against her body, then she kissed him.

"Helena, one more thing. There is someone I cannot trust at all. I don't think that trust can ever be restored. If you want Cathy's treatment to be effective, keep Marion away."

"But, Rob, she is one of our closest friends!"

"You keep her a close friend if you wish. I suppose I could call her a friend, but I do not want her close to me. I haven't yet decided if I want to let her apologize. I find I like the distance."

Helen nodded, her loyalties torn. She realized immediately if she had to choose, it would be Rob.

Helena quickly blotted her eyes. "I'll be strong for you when I'm leaving, but listen: you can be certain I want to make love to you when we come back Wednesday. No matter what the others say or do, I want to feel you with me."

Arm in arm, they walked back to the living room. Kim and Marion were ready to depart. Good-byes took a bit longer than usual. With a promise to visit Wednesday evening, they left. Helena paused in the doorway for one, last, deep kiss. She could hardly bring herself to let him go, but finally she left to her car. Cathy and Rob stood on the porch waving as they drove off. Even Rob had to clear his throat a few times.