The Unexpected Girlfriend Ch. 06

Chapter 5 is here.

I've decided that there will be three more chapters in this series. The description of Nora joining The Salient is in My Summer with Nora Ch. 05. Nora and Paul played a few spanking games in that series in which they would switch roles.

The Campus was the "paper of record" for City College, going back to the move uptown in 1907. In contrast, The Salient had only existed since 1947. As mentioned in earlier chapters, Finley Hall was the old building that housed the newspaper offices.

Riker's Island contains the largest jail in New York City. CCNY stands for City College of New York

***********

By late September 1974, Nora had met and knew a lot about The Salient's new managing editor, Lilith Wheeler. Lilith didn't like her at first sight. It had to do with Nora being my new girlfriend.

Our editor had always had a kind of disdain for me. Nora had summed it up later on that first day. "The main problem you two have is that she thinks you are someone sexually inconsequential, and she makes no attempt to hide it. Thus, you enjoyed parading me around in front of her."

My girlfriend was anything but meek. That day she had dressed in a business suit, on her own initiative, and had given quite a sassy performance even if it was a bit tongue-in-cheek. Nora could exude confidence when she was in the right mood, and somehow that had bugged Lilith immensely. She probably never expected that I would land a woman who could project that much charisma.

Lilith was not loud that often, but she could be quite intense when something on the paper wasn't going her way. I had run afoul of her the previous semester when she was the news editor and I had failed to write a story she had assigned.

It was a typical boring, unimportant assignment that college newspapers seem to thrive on. It was necessary to interview a certain professor, and it seemed that I could never get an appointment with him. It turned out that my friend Jeff Kimmel had also blown a story and he too was in the doghouse.

Lilith was upset that she had to fill the "news hole" will canned articles from a couple of leftist news sources. What was the point of publishing a paper that had little exclusive content in it? That was the way she saw it.

The Salient was transitioning to a more, call it professional tone as the last of the 1960s and early '70s holdouts on our staff had finally graduated or quit. One guy had chewed up eight years at CCNY because he didn't know what to do with himself if he left the paper.

Under the new regime, Lilith had some authority over the entire staff, including Nora. The latter had just submitted her first article, a little memoir about working in a fast food joint. I had warned her to be cautious about accepting any news assignments.

On the sunny first day in October, Nora and I were sitting on the rock outside of Cohen Library. We were discussing the changes happening around us. My girlfriend was looking at the issue that had the group photo on the front page. She was particularly bothered by a page-two piece called "From the Editors." It had obviously been written by Lilith. Her intrusive style was all over it.

Nora had no qualms about insulting Lilith behind her back. "You've read the pompous tripe that nasty little twat wrote?" She flipped the pages over to examine the front photo. "That chick still has pigtails. What, is she in elementary school? And she's got a strange look in her eyes."

"She was watching you that day you joined, but she didn't say anything."

"Fuck her. That office does need some shades and a new sofa. It looks like Riker's Island in there." She returned to the previous page. "This is just amazing. She talks about 'stories that seemed to be no more than ego fodder.' "

"That's what attracted me there to begin with. It used to be a fun place for weird people."

"Exactly, although I will admit that your two resident pornographers, the writer and the artist, had mediocre abilities. But at least they took some chances." Both had graduated the previous June.

I said, "We were probably the only student newspaper in history to publish a drawing of a masturbating nun -- twice no less."

"But the second time was just a rehash of the first. That's not going to happen with Gauleiter Wheeler in charge. 'A self-defined standard of good taste!' "

I said, "Your Nazi reference is a bit much. Anyway, do you suppose our leader has some Sapphic inclinations?"

"I wouldn't be surprised."

"Maybe she secretly has the hots for you. Didn't you admit that you have such desires too?"

"Yes, but I haven't done anything about them yet."

"Maybe this semester, you should get a girlfriend too."

"Oh, I see. You're imagining having threesomes with us."

"You said that, not me." Although, I could suddenly see Nora in a sexual embrace with that cute new Linda. "Nora, you have some knee socks too, right?"

"You're digressing from our original goal here. You were going to describe in detail your fantasy of Lilith dominating you -- punishing you actually -- for your newspaper failure."

"It's still difficult to talk about, even with you."

"Look, I used to do a lot of dominatrix gigs. Men just crave some strict discipline from a stern lady -- like me! And they were willing to pay handsomely for it."

"You said that you usually enjoyed it."

"Right, because it required some creativity. The verbal part is very important. So for me, it was like being my own scriptwriter, director, costume designer -- and actress, of course. I played all kinds of roles, including a parole officer for some guy who I'm sure never saw the inside of a prison."

"And a displeased student editor too, I presume."

"Yes, but from what you've told me, I can't exactly recreate the different versions you have. Like, they all have Kathy and Martha in them too." Those two were staff members who had appeared in the group photo. "You must have a thing for short girls I didn't know about."

"But why would you do this for free?"

She put on a mincing voice. "Because I'm a nice person and I love you!" She laughed at that. "Okay, why don't you tell me the whole thing again, from the top? Whichever version you want."

"They are all a bit implausible."

"They're fantasies. And dominatrixes make such fantasies come true, to the extent possible. Come on, it's just words now, between the two of us."

I thought for a few moments. "All right, here's one that includes some key elements." I described it for her as I saw myself in it. The problem issue was published in May 1974 before I was involved with Nora and when I was still a virgin. Every subsequent time I repeated the fantasy it always had those basic details.

****

A couple of days after the botched issue came out, Lilith asked me to meet her later in a stone row house on Convent Avenue north of the college. Actually, she didn't ask me, she ordered me to go there.

The building contained a branch of some organization that I had never heard of, The Center for Academic Justice. At least, that's what the little sign on the outer door said.

I went in and knocked on a door on the first floor. I heard her say, "Come in, it's not locked." I entered the room and she was sitting behind a desk. Both Kathy and Martha were there sitting in chairs too.

As soon as I came in, she said, "Don't sit down Paulie, don't say anything. You're going to hear me out first."

She had never used that nickname before; in fact, no one did. But I didn't like its implication that I was immature. Yet some instinct told me not to complain about it. I had the feeling that something important was going to happen, and I should know what it was first. In any case, she consistently used the name from then on.

"You know what the problem is. It's that story you failed to write. You made me and the whole paper look bad by leaving a huge gap in what we had planned to publish."

I started an explanation of why I hadn't done it, but she cut me off. "I don't want to hear whatever lame excuses you have. But there have to be consequences for such irresponsible behavior -- call it sheer laziness, perhaps."

I could have asked what she meant by consequences, but I knew I should wait for her to tell me.

The issue was opened on the desktop in front of her. "Look at this disaster. Instead of a newspaper, it's just a reprinting of canned articles. It's like a supermarket flyer. You and that other loser, Jeff, are responsible for this."

She was exaggerating how bad it was. There were still feature stories, music reviews, and even some news. I assumed that she would have more to say, so I didn't reply.

She continued, "What I want is for you to resign from the paper immediately. Go write for The Campus and fuck up things there. Or write for City PM, nothing there matters anyway." City PM was supposed to be for part-time evening students, although I couldn't figure out why it even existed.

"If you don't resign, I'm just going to just fire you."

That one I did protest. "You can't do that. This is not a job; I don't work for you."

"On the contrary, you do work for me, even if no money is involved."

I felt flummoxed, and I didn't have a coherent defense. Instead, I inadvertently admitted that she did have power. "The other staffers will support me over whatever you want."

"You've overestimated what they can do. I have ways of persuading them." I wondered what she meant by that. "And if you do try to stay, I'll make sure that anything you write doesn't get printed."

Martha and Kathy were sitting there blank-faced. Lilith went on, "Now Paulie, I'm willing to give you a second chance, but only if you accept a punishment from me first."

I couldn't grasp what she meant. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean a corporal punishment. You must know what that refers to."

I did, but I still asked, "Why don't you explain it to me?"

"It's quite simple. We're going to take you down to the basement. There, we will spank your bare backside, and quite vigorously I can assure you. If you submit to that, then you can stay on the staff, assuming you don't screw up again."

"That's completely ridiculous."

"For once, be a man about it. You're not afraid of what we three women can do to you, are you?"

Kathy broke in, "Let's take him downstairs so he can see the setup. That should help him decide."

Lilith said, "That's a great idea." She stood up and came out from behind the desk. Her outfit consisted of casual warm-weather clothes: a sleeveless top, blue jeans, and sandals. I could see that she was trying to control her fury. "Come on Paulie, you first."

I guessed that she was worried about me looking at their own rear ends. Kathy had a similar outfit to her boss, while Martha had a sleeveless but long dress.

We went down a flight of stairs to a basement room with a single window facing an areaway. There was a big piece of wooden furniture in there. Even though I could understand its purpose, I wanted to hear Lilith explicitly describe it.

"What is that thing for?"

For the first time, she seemed to be in a better mood. It was obvious that she enjoyed talking about my punishment.

"Well, it's a spanking bench. Since you asked, you are going to bend over it. It's set up so that your head and torso will be down, and your backside will be the highest point in your body."

She smiled. "Paulie, you'll be in an ideal position that way. Now notice the leather straps. Those will be used to restrain you and make sure that you don't chicken out and try to avoid your discipline. There are two to hold your legs, two to hold your arms, and a big one that will go over your waist."

That was a succinct but complete explanation. I hadn't expected that they would propose tying me down, which made me think, just how severe is this going to be, anyway? It seemed ominous. I had expected that she would spank me over her lap as I had imagined doing the same to her several times.

Kathy suddenly had her own suggestion. "He should get up there and try it out, see how it feels. That will help him make a decision."

Lilith shook her head. "No, Paulie, once you get on it, you'll stay on it until we're done. Otherwise, you can just walk out and you're automatically fired from The Salient.

"Who is we?"

"Kathy will handle one of your butt cheeks, and I will do the other side. Martha meanwhile will photograph everything so we have a record of it."

That struck me as worrisome too. Once photos of the event existed, it was no longer just in the minds of the four participants. I grasped that Lilith wasn't just doing that for trips down memory lane. The pictures could be used to blackmail me if I ever got out of line in the future.

Lilith sounded bubbly. "Keep in mind that there will be no safe word. This is a real punishment and once we start, we'll continue as long as I think necessary."

I said, "By the way, what are you doing about Jeff?"

"Oh, that little coward quit already. He was here yesterday. One look at this bench, and he walked out, never to be seen by us again, I hope." Then she threatened me. "Don't you dare comment to him about any of this."

Or what? I said, "I need some time to think about it."

"I'm generous. I'll give you three minutes to make up your mind and get over there, or you're history like Jeff is now."

I didn't know what to think. I almost wanted to quit on the spot. While doing that, I'd have the chance to call her every nasty thing I could think of. You know Lilith, after I go, I'll think about putting my cock up your ass whether you want it or not. You'd know what my hot splooge in your anus feels like.

Well, no, I wouldn't go that far. I knew that merely saying that could be construed as an illegal threat, and she wouldn't let it pass unchallenged. She might not go to the police immediately, but surely she knew people in the college administration who would take her seriously.

She encouraged me to take her option. "Come on, Paulie, it's just a little spankie. Once it's over -- well, you'll still be on probation, but otherwise, everything will be reset to as it was before."

Her arrogance was stunning, and I felt the anger within myself. Yet, in the three minutes allotted for my decision, I had several thoughts.

For one thing, I didn't want to leave the paper. It had become a very important part of my life, and I didn't want to write for that stuffy old Campus. I hated her pressure on me, but I believed she probably could force me off if she put her mind to it.

On a deeper level, she had inadvertently tapped into one of my kinks as she had revealed one about herself. I had never told anyone about it or actually done anything yet, but in my mind, I was a "switch" when it came to spankings. I had wanted to punish her, but I also wanted to be punished myself. I didn't know much about dominatrixes, but I knew many men hired them. My urge was to find out what these three would do to me and what it would feel like.

Maybe you'll actually like it to some degree. At least you'll find out.

And finally, she had directly challenged me. I didn't want to look like a coward.

But I had underestimated my antagonist. It's just a little spankie, she had called it. I assumed they'd just hit me with their hands. That didn't jibe with being restrained, but we all can ignore what we don't want to know.

"Okay, I'll do it."

"Then get over there and stand on that footrest."

I hoped that it wouldn't be so bad. I'd still have to deal with Lilith afterwards, but there was only one more issue due out that semester. By the time September came around, I might have figured out how to handle her and maybe even get some payback.

I just went to my position and bent over the trestle. Lilith and Kathy were quite efficient in getting all the restraints in place. Had they done that before? Lilith had been the news editor for about nine months, but I had never heard of her doing that. If so, who were the unlucky guys who she had blackmailed?

Once I was tied down, I knew a line had been crossed and I couldn't go back. A surge of both fear and anticipation went through my body. For one thing, I had never been restrained before. It was very strange to be locked into place like that.

My tormentor said, "Good. Now his ass is up as a good target." She came around in front of me and said, "Has wittle Paulie ever had a spankie before?"

I hadn't, but I didn't want to tell her that. I wanted to curse at her, but I was worried that she would increase her intensity if she got even angrier at me.

"Well, it doesn't matter, because you are going to get one now."

Then there was another surprise. She went to the side to retrieve something, and she held it in front of me. "You do know what a ball gag is?" It was a red piece of rubber with a string to tie around my head.

"Wait a minute, you never said anything about gagging me."

She happily said, "Oh, I didn't? I must have forgotten like you forgot to do your story."

I was in no position to resist her shoving it into my mouth and then tying it. "Now, Paulie, be reasonable. We can't have your yelling heard in the street, now can we?"

How much yelling did she expect? In a moment, I found out. She and Kathy got more items to show to me.

"Now, we're going to use these on you. I'll handle your right side while Kathy does the left." She had a doubled-over gray electrical cord in her hand while her friend had a square wooden paddle with holes in it.

Nobody had said anything about implements, and I shook my head and squirmed around. At that point, fear was becoming my main emotion. You thought this might be fun? Lilith understood my thoughts.

"You don't like it? Well, too bad. I said it was going to be vigorous and I meant it."

Surprisingly, Martha spoke up, sort of in my defense. "Remember, the point is to motivate him, not injure him."

"Oh, he'll be good and motivated when we're done with him." She swished her cord through the air and then the two ladies stepped behind me.

Lilith was very concise. "Bare his buttocks."

Kathy did the job, unbuckling my jeans and pulling them down to the straps above my knees. Then she did the same with my drawers. I knew that three pairs of female eyes were looking at me, and I began to get an erection. There was a piece of cloth over the bench in front of my hips, and almost unconsciously I pushed against it.

The ladies noticed. Their leader said, "I'm not surprised, he's getting a boner. He's a sick little bastard, but I've seen this kind of thing before." So she has done this previously. I wondered who it was. It was also amusing perhaps that she was calling me sick. Sweetie, we all have our kinks, don't we?

Kathy said, "He's got a slim behind, that's for sure."

She and Lilith put their implements against my flesh. They began moving them up and down along my hindquarters. That felt very good and I moaned into my gag. My erection grew bigger.

Lilith commented, "He's very pale too; he doesn't have his summer tan lines yet. But we'll put some color into his cheeks."

Kathy added, "I think he'll lose that stiffie too as soon as we begin."

"That's for sure. Paulie, every woman on campus can tell instantly that you've only have torrid affairs with your own hands, and maybe your blankets too." I wondered what aspect of my demeanor made that so apparent to her. "We've got one more thing to do in preparation."

She got out two lipstick tubes and came forward to show them to me. "Kathy and I are going to mark your behind so we can see where to aim."

I could feel the two of them drawing concentric circles on me, one set for each side. Lilith said, "There, now we will have bulls-eyes to guide us." Then she wrote something on the backs of my thighs. I couldn't decipher it then, but later I saw that it said, I've been a bad boy.

It was apparent that the main purpose of the lipstick markings was merely to humiliate me. Yet being written on increased my sexual arousal at the same time.

By that point, Martha had her camera out and she was photographing me from every angle. She even knelt down to get a close-up of my cock sticking out. When she was in front, I didn't want to look into her eyes.

The two dominatrixes got behind me, and I could see them out of the corners of my eyes. Lilith was left-handed, so she was well-positioned to the right. The other woman had her paddle in her right hand. Kathy asked, "How many are we going to give him?"

"I don't know yet, we'll have to see. Anyway, you know the drill. Right, left, right, left." She giggled in amusement. "So Paulie, are you ready to be corrected for your sloth?"

She sounded so trite. Whatever I replied with was muffled.

"Ready or not, you're going to get it right now."

She patted my behind, then I could just see her raise her cord far back. It wasn't going to be gentle, that was for sure. Then she swiped her wire across me, and a second later Kathy's paddle thudded into the other side. A moment later, they both did it again.

The shock of it caused me to yelp into my gag, and I quite futilely tried to pull my hips forward. I thought of spanking cartoons I had seen that showed stars coming out of the victim's rear end. That was very appropriate for my situation.

They stopped for a moment to assess what had been done. For me, the cord had striped over the skin of that side, while the paddle had gone deeper into my muscle to start bruising me.

Lilith said, "An excellent start."

Kathy commented, "His erection went down very quickly."

"They always do. I bet he forgot all about sticking it into some unfortunate lady."

"Or into his own rosy palms."

They didn't rush; they were very deliberate in taking their turns. Lilith kept chiding me, but I was barely listening to her. It was all the same theme anyway. "Of course it hurts, honey; it's supposed to. You're never going to forget this, I'm sure."

They could see me wriggling over the bench and hear whatever muffled cries got past the gag. I saw Martha moving around photographing everything.

This isn't a mere spankie, that's for sure. That's as much thought as I could put into it. My two staff mates gave me a break after about ten whacks. I noticed how hard I was breathing by then -- gasping, really -- but I was glad to get a respite from their relentless beating.

During that second go-round, Lilith smacked me on the back of my right thigh, and then Kathy did the same thing on the left one. That was even worse than on my behind, but they didn't do it again.

I heard more hackneyed nonsense from my editor. "The buttocks are the seat of all corrections, Paulie, but you deserved that something extra. Don't worry, we're going to avoid hitting your balls."

Kathy said, "Most likely he'd faint if we did that a couple of times."

"Well, we're not going to do that. This is a punishment, not torture." I didn't get that she was being tongue-in-cheek until I thought about it later. She came around to look at me from the front. "Aw, tears are running down your face. Would you like some more, Paulie? Because we have plenty to give if you want it."

Oh course I didn't want it, but they gave it anyway. I lost count, but then they stopped again.

Kathy said, "That was twenty on each side. Is that enough?"

I think Lilith pretended to think about it. "A few more should do it."

"How about five?"

"Make it six."

Martha broke in again. "He's not going to be able to sit down."

"Well, dearie, isn't that the point of all this?"

Lilith poked me on a particularly sore place on the right. It was tender enough there that my body seemed to vibrate. I yelled something into the gag.

Actually, they gave me eight more, I think. I could bend my legs at the knees, and during that period I banged my sneakers against the footrest.

"Okay, that should do the job. Now, it's corner time as you know. You may have a few moments to comfort yourself -- or try to, anyway -- then I want you to stand against that wall with your hands on your head."

As soon as they untied me, I jumped up and grabbed my own ass. I had heard that expression, it feels like it's going to fall off, and I understood what it meant. I had also heard the description blazing hot, and that seemed accurate too.

As I hopped around, Lilith made fun of me by singing, "Skip, skip to the Lou, my darling..."

Kathy of course, loved that gimmick. After a moment, Lilith said, "All right, enough with the fun and games. Get over there; bend over a bit so I can admire our handiwork."

I did as instructed. As I stood there, it felt like a heat ray was coming out of my ass. Those symbolic "spanking stars" were bouncing around it.

Lilith came over to my left and tapped her wire against my crotch, making me flinch.

"Don't worry, I may be mean, but I'm not vicious." I didn't get the distinction. "Now Kathy and I have to go to classes for about an hour, but Martha will stay here to make sure you don't leave."

I looked at her and she read my thoughts. "We're not going to remove the gag at this point. She shouldn't have to listen to whatever rants you have in mind."

After they left, I could see that Martha was sitting in a chair a few feet away. In less than five minutes she stood up and came over to my left side. I refused to look at her; I thought she had just come over to satisfy her curiosity.

I was wrong. Yet she said not one word during what followed.

She touched, and then rubbed the side of my left thigh, being careful to avoid the sore places just behind. I thought, why is she doing that?

I soon found out. She put her right hand down and started running a finger up and down my cock. I was impressed at how fast it went back to its erect position. I guessed that she was just trying to tease me further, but I was wrong about that too.

A moment later, she knelt in front of me and pushed her glasses to the top of her head. She then took my cock in her left hand and put the tip against her lips.

The blowjob she gave me was subtle but intense. I thought, where did this woman learn to suck cock so well? Actually, she mixed in plenty of kissing and licking too at all the right moments.

I put my hands down and ran the left one through her hair while I gripped the base of my cock with the other one. It was striking how I had so much pain in the rear while also having pleasure in the front. I moaned into my gag.

A few moments before I came, I said something inaudible under the gag like, Martha, you are so sweet. Our hands stroked me faster and then she opened her mouth. I ejaculated a stream between her parted lips. She attempted to swallow it all but some came back out. I had enough presence of mind to take my handkerchief out of my pocket so she could blot up the mess on her chin.

Please, Martha, take my gag out and kiss me. I put my hands on her shoulders which seemed to be a good hint. Instead, she got up, put the cloth back into my pocket, and stepped away.

How could she do that? As I tried to calm my roiling emotions, I put my hands up and leaned against the wall. When I looked back, Martha was in her chair again, looking away as if nothing had happened.

*****

When the other two returned, Martha was sitting there fiddling with her camera while I was looking at the wall again with my hands on my head. They must have known that I had put them down at some point, but it no longer mattered.

Lilith was subdued as he untied my gag. Empress Lilith: she wept because there were no more worlds to spank. A big rush of air came out of me as my mouth became free.

She said little. "All right get your pants up and get out of here." Then she gave me a time and date to return, for what reason she did not say.

As I walked up Convent to 145th Street, it felt like an invisible heating pad was tied to my behind. She was right; I wasn't going to forget this.

I tried to cheer myself up. At least you got your first blowjob. But there were no preliminaries, no dialogue, no affection afterwards. It seemed like it had never happened at all. Or maybe it was very much like how a streetwalker would do it.

When I got home, I looked at myself in a full-length mirror. On my right side, the many overlapping red swipes merged into one big, roughly square marking. The color on Kathy's side was more rounded and of a darker hue. Their single strokes on each thigh were visible too. Right above those were the words Lilith had written: I've been a bad boy.

As I stood there imagining what I wanted to do to Lilith, my cock got hard again. There was no Martha around to help me, so I would have to take care of it myself. Oh Lilith, you've been such a very bad girl.

*********

Three days later, I went back to the row house as ordered. Inside the ground floor room, the three women were waiting for me. I didn't need to be told to keep standing.

Lilith started with, "So it must be difficult to sit on those hard subway seats, isn't it?"

I almost said that I had to stand up in recent days, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that. I simply shrugged.

"The point of having you here today is that we have developed the two rolls of film that Martha shot. They are quite impressive. Here, take a look."

She took out manila envelopes from her desk drawer and emptied the contents in from of her. They were all black-and-white prints. I didn't want to see them, but I was cautious about angering her again. Maybe you are a coward after all. I glanced in another direction.

"I like these two in particular," and she held them up side-by-side. My curiosity got to me. They were shot from the front at an angle. One showed me, eyes closed, grimacing in agony. That must have been a moment after one of their implements had struck me.

The other one showed me looking into the camera with a pleading look in my eyes. Lilith said, " 'Oh, please Martha, help me,' " and she laughed. "Then we have this one. You certainly have a nice big dick. Too bad it's attached to a twerp like you."

Kathy said, "Maybe it could be offered as an organ donation."

"Yes, I mean, he's already a dickless wonder."

They found those ridiculous jokes to be hilarious, except for Martha. She just sat there expressionless.

"Here's a good rear view, just before we started. You must have seen what we wrote there because it was still in place when you left." She seemed to be imitating Elmer Fudd. " 'I've been a wery bad boy' " In the photo, my testicles hung down between my legs.

My face blushed with embarrassment, but I tried to stare her down. She leaned back and seemed very relaxed. "I do have one more card I could play, that's if you cross me again or you start bitching to the other staff members. That involves Verity Press."

In those days of photo offset printing, one company would do the typesetting and page layout for our paper. Another one, in this case Verity, would do the actual print job.

"Mr. Chang down there would gladly print up an eight-page issue with just these pictures in them. And your full name in several places."

Kathy piped up. "And with captions too, of course. I already have some in mind." Then she asked a question to which I was sure she already knew the answer. "What would be the print run for that again?"

Lilith had taken out a bowl of peanuts in their shells and she was cracking them open. "Let's see, how many people are at our school? Ten thousand? And almost every building has bins where we could drop them off."

I finally spoke up. "I'd sue you for defamation."

"Really? I'd like to see you walk into a lawyer's office with that case. Besides, you'd be the school fool by that time. Even a man with brass balls would blanche at that, and that doesn't describe you. You'd have to transfer to another university, just in time to miss this one's final exams."

I was livid, but I felt helpless. "I don't think I want to work with you any longer."

"So you went through all of this for nothing? Go ahead, quit. I'll drink some champagne to celebrate. Do you have any further comments?"

I needed to get one shot in, and I made up a nickname for her as well. "You know Lil, you have a knack for being a dominatrix. You could make a lot of money if you turned pro."

She had more self-control than I had expected, and she didn't yell at me. Instead, after a moment of frowning, she quietly said, "I expect to see you at our last two staff meetings this semester. In fact, I'll assign you a story for our last issue. A nice, big complicated one."

She threw a peanut which bounced off my chest. "Now get your sorry, aching ass out of here. You're dismissed."

I looked at Martha on the way out, but she didn't acknowledge my presence. It wasn't fair, but I thought, You're a Jezebel too. I didn't say that because I already had enough drama in my life.

****

When I was finished, Nora didn't say anything. Finally, I said, "That's where I usually end them. See, I told you it was weird."

She seemed thoughtful. "It's quite vivid yet dream-like. So last spring you mixed these in with dreams of me dropping my drawers for you?"

"What can I say? We all have to work with what we've got."

She took that better than I had expected. "Okay, what really strikes me about it is not its strangeness, but how elaborate it all is. Dominatrix clients usually have a very simple, straightforward storyline that they want to experience. In fact, part of my job was to fill in the missing elements that they couldn't be bothered with. You, on the other hand, have virtually written scenes, or a sequence, for a movie."

"I guess I've always had an over-active imagination. So this isn't such a strange event to imagine?"

"Nah, you have plenty of company in this. Guys use a minor kerfuffle like that newspaper thing to let their freak flag fly and get their rocks off as a bonus. 'Please Mistress, I've been very bad. Have no mercy on me.' " She laughed at that but I didn't. "I didn't make them call me that. Just Ms. Nora or Ms. Meara was enough."

"I think I see the difference."

"You said you've used this as a masturbation fantasy. I'm mean, they all do I suppose." She must have seen the expression on my face. "Don't get all shy and coy about this. I need to know what part of it was the most sexually stimulating for you."

"I guess it varied, you know."

"I know that people stop fantasizing after they've come. It's served its purpose at that point."

"Well, I would get back to it later, maybe even on the same day." I needed to confess more. "There are also various revenge fantasies against her. Some of them are quite violent."

"You have fantasies about other fantasies? In any case, I don't want to hear about that kind. And you still haven't answered my question."

"Oh, about sexual arousal? It could be at different points. It could be as early as Kathy taking my pants down. Or it could be during the beating itself."

She said, "And it obviously could be during Martha's kindly blowjob on you. You haven't thought of her in other contexts, like later on in the same fantasy?"

"No, I haven't."

"That bit about Lilith threatening to publish a special issue with only you in it -- that is really a novel way of humiliating someone. But I know a little about photo offset printing, and I doubt anybody would print thousands of copies for free."

"It's a fantasy as you keep reminding me."

"Okay, I have several problems with creating this whole thing. For one, you've got three ladies doing different things and there is only one of me."

"I accept that."

"Something else that is really difficult. Where do you expect we will do this? I certainly don't have a spanking bench. And I've rarely tried to restrain a guy. I don't know how to tie knots, so it was playacting at best."

"I was in the Scouts for two years, and I never figured out the knots either."

"That lipstick writing is notable, but it's easy to do. I'm not going to speculate about what it reveals about your psyche"

"Too bad, you could have used it in your own sessions."

"Well, except for you, I'm retired now. I'd certainly do it for you in our private sessions if it excites you. And again, how about the location, the actual place to do this?"

"I thought you used to do these in Maspeth during a weekday." Maspeth was her neighborhood in Queens.

"But I was a real slacker then. Now I have a job, I'm trying to take school seriously, plus I'm on that paper too."

I had a back-up idea. "We could use The Salient office on a weekend. It has that authentic Lilith vibe."

"Except the school is in full session right now. There are more people in Finley for various things. Also, The Salient staff itself is rolling along, so one of them might pop in at any time. You really don't want to get caught bent over the couch or whatever with your bare ass in the air. And I don't want to be caught standing over you either in that situation."

"Yeah, I see what you mean."

"You want to talk about humiliation? Imagine if word of that got out among the staff. I think I'd quit myself."

I could suddenly imagine Lilith, the real one, finding it very amusing. "I'd probably be considered a laughingstock. I might quit too."

"Yep, despite their hip, counter-cultural pretensions -- both male and female staffers would be snickering every time they saw you. That reminds me of something else, one of the props. I don't think I would ever use an electrical cord on somebody. That's a bit much."

"The blowjob during corner time was a big highlight."

"I bet it was. Now that's something I've really done with you at least once in my dominant mode."

I thought of the other places that we'd have available for our hijinks. "Maybe this fantasy has to be downsized quite a bit. Like, it could be in my dad's car. You'd be driving as if it was Lilith's car, and she'd be taking me somewhere for privacy."

"That's what it might come down to. I don't think I've ever done a role in a car before."

"It's like a whole different fantasy, with me in the back seat over her lap or hunched over presenting my ass. Maybe this is something I could try out tonight, I mean while I'm jerking off."

"You guys are amazing. Who said access to pussy would end masturbation? It probably increases it."

Then she said, "Let me give you some advice. You should truly rethink this whole reenactment idea. This, call it hatred, for her is only hurting you, not her. Maybe you need to let it go this semester."

Had I thought more carefully about it, I would have realized that we were also alluding to a big problem in our relationship. That was the lack of privacy we had. The various stopgap fixes we used were losing the fun of adolescent naughtiness. I didn't even have my own car yet. She had purchased a car, a Mustang, but it was not roomy inside.

Nora and I never worked out the Lilith fantasy game. Within two weeks she had been picked up by an older guy who did have a car and also an apartment. In fact, he was driving his vehicle when he met her. By the end of that afternoon, she had decided on him over me, and she didn't look back.

Maybe without fully realizing it, Nora was ready for a more adult situation where she could roll out of bed and have coffee on a balcony. That guy's balcony may have overlooked Forest Hills in Queens, not Manhattan, but it was beyond anything I could offer.

What I did have to offer was listening to her hooking confessions, but she had finished those.

To use one of those car dealership analogies she was fond of: she was ready to trade up for a better model.

####

The masturbating nun pictures are based on a real event. See The Past is a Foreign Country.