Bachelor Night

Bachelor Night

"So, you are looking for something to make a bachelor party memorable? We might be able to help with that. How many guests are you expecting?" The speaker was Peter, sole director of "Shit Creek"

"I guess about 30," answered James "Give or take."

Peter shuffled some paperwork on his desk before leaning forward and stating very clearly;

"That's a very small crowd by our standards. Do you actually know what we do? The services that we provide?"

"Not really - a friend of mine said that he went to one of your events and it was amazing, he didn't give me any more information than that."

"Well, we had better make sure that you are in the right place, talking to the right people." said Peter.

He pushed a booklet across the desk and then stood up and positioned his chair next to James before sitting down. He opened it to the first page and James looked and saw what appeared to be a smallish bandstand with glass sides. The bandstand was six sided but there was something not quite right about the picture. On each of the three visible corners was what looked like a urinal and at the rearmost side, just visible through the glass was a sort of cubicle, almost phone box sized.

"Erm.. are those what I think they are?" James asked.

"I don't know what you think they are, but they are porcelain urinals. The cubicle at the back houses a conventional toilet bowl" said Peter.

"And why would you need those?" James asked in a rather stunned tone of voice.

"That's to do with the sort of entertainment that we provide" said Peter " basically it's all about scat fetish - for people who enjoy watching or being involved in sex that entails piss and shit".

Peter noticed that James was looking shocked, but hiding behind the shock was an urge to know more.

"It's a lot more common than you might think. I expect that a lot of the interest comes from some of the German porn movies that were imported more than twenty years ago." Peter stated calmly "We don't do kink shaming - I suppose what we do is to take that German stuff, improve it and raise it to a performance art, we provide that kind of entertainment in real time and we make it safe. It's not really my thing but I understand the fascination. After I graduated with an engineering degree, I travelled, saw some interesting floorshows in Hamburg and decided I could do much better."

"In what way?" stammered James

"In every way!" answered Peter "The problems were obvious, visibility, hygiene, sustainability, people who wanted to watch were deterred by the smell and left. That's why I designed and built this" he added, pointing to the bandstand.

James looked at the bandstand picture once more and turned the page. There he found an exploded view and supporting text. There was a central area about 4M in diameter and about 0.8M from the outer side was a rail which defined the performance area. Entry to the performance area was via the rearmost section which had a glass door alongside the cubicle. The ceiling was labelled 'delivery systems' and below the raised floor was a zone labelled simply as 'processing'. The floor itself was shown to be a fine, rigid plastic mesh but was apparently 'dynamic' in some way. James looked up;

"I am not sure that I understand..." he said.

"OK, let me explain how this device overcomes the problems that I saw in Hamburg. In terms of visibility, we have a lot of glass with self-cleaning capability and the ability to stream video from different perspectives, we can supply an expert editor to provide a live show and a definitive recording. Hygiene is more problematic, if people are doing live scat in real time they need very detailed and up to date health reports, this device collects piss and shit and pasteurises them. The shit is filtered and homogenised. This why I asked about numbers earlier, if you don't have enough people then we need to provide product. The smell is a simple thing, the device is self-contained and sealed - great visibility and not a trace of odour escapes" Peter said with professional pride.

"Wouldn't the pasteurisation deal with the odour?" asked James.

"Obviously not!" said Peter "Pasteurised milk still smells and tastes like milk, it's just safer".

James nodded and then turned to the next page. This described the floor in more detail. Sections of the floor could be raised or lowered to form seats, or a sizeable platform. Plastic covered cushions would provide additional comfort if required. The entire floor allowed liquids to pass through and be reused.

"I was very proud of that!" said Peter, "in a live scat performance, it's almost impossible to recover and reuse any product. Because our product is processed to be more of a slurry, we are able to recover and reuse a lot of it. Of course, people in the performance area can have live scat as well if they want to do that, and what falls onto the floor gets incorporated into the system. Obviously there is a huge responsibility if live scat is involved, we need health reports etc. and people have to sign a lot of disclaimers. We tend to run the device over a few hours to allow the audience to contribute before the performance begins."

"What's this receptacle for?" asked James indicating a smallish bin.

"People can put their soiled clothes in there and we can extract any piss or shit for reuse" answered Peter, "again it's about prolonging performance time."

James turned the page and noted the heading 'delivery mechanisms'.

"More unique features!" Peter exclaimed, "variety is the spice of life. We can store the collected urine in a reservoir, when the reservoir approaches a predefined level it can be programmed to open suddenly on a specific area or person in the performance zone. It's fun thing because the performer is unaware of what is happening, We have a countdown displayed on top of the device so that people can make sure that they get to watch. We can do the same with scat but we have to ensure that we maintain the correct levels of humidity otherwise the product can dry and harden on the performers - not a good look."

"What else can it do?" asked James, who by now was fascinated by the technology and the fetish.

"We have automatic squirters for urine and spatter guns for scat. They can operate until a performer is completely covered. We do have performers who wear a few thin layers of clothing and they place each layer in the receptacle as it becomes covered before ending up naked. We also have spiralling sprays which make a performer change colour completely in about two minutes. My personal favourite is the continuous rain function, the performers can use their hands to wipe themselves clean but they end up being completely covered again in a very short time. That's quite erotic." said Peter.

James turned to the next page and realised that he was now looking at performers. The image that looked out at him was that of a very attractive women in her twenties who was dressed like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.

"That's Amanda," said Peter " she puts on a solo performance with some sex toys, she's very popular. Her performance fee is a flat $1,000."

What do your other clients, customers like?" James asked.

"Some of our regular customers don't want performers, they want participation. We have two large swingers' clubs that we cater for on a regular basis. One has a membership of over two hundred people, once a month they hold a sort of raffle and one or sometimes two couples provide the entertainment. We never allow more than four people in the entertainment zone. My earlier version of the device has one way mirrors so that the audience could see the performers but the performers could not see the audience, However, some people just love to put on a show and seeing the audience's reaction is part of the overall experience. The other club that we cater for is a bit more interesting, someone can nominate their partner without their knowledge, first come first served as it were. A lot of people get a huge kick out of watching their partner in an unusual situation. Oh - I should have mentioned the device provides showers at the end of the performance to allow everyone to get clean." Peter responded.

James turned the next page and read the description that accompanied the picture of two very nicely built women in their early thirties. In the picture they both wore masks. The description said that Ellie and Iris put on a lesbian scat show. To begin with they use their own scat but afterwards they use the processed product provided by the device.

"They love what they do!" said Peter "they will often invite someone to join them, male or female or both - they like bachelor parties and hens' nights. Their fee is a flat $1,800"

"What about the law?" asked James.

"Not a problem!" answered Peter "They are paid for their performance. Their contracts state as much. Anything that they do after their performance is on their own time, we merely provide a venue and they do not get paid for what they do".

Another page turn. This time it was two white middle aged BBWs, they performed as Nan and Jan. Their act was purely and simply a lesbian one. They offered nothing extra but apparently they were a very popular novelty act for bachelor parties for a reasonable fee of $1,500. James thought that there might be a bulk discount but said nothing.

James turned to the last page in the book and stared agog at the figure that appeared before him. This was Chris, mid-thirties athletic, with short black hair. In her pictures, she proudly displayed her piercings and tattoos and wore nothing apart from a studded collar and black stockings. James looked realised that he would do nearly anything to have the chance of having sex with her. His dick agreed with his opinion wholeheartedly.

"She is our most expensive and popular performer!" said Peter. "She puts on a solo show, for which she gets paid - it's what happens next that makes her a star! Her fee is $2,500 and I am sure that I could ask twice that."

"Which is?" asked James.

"Well, she has very specific likes and needs. She would normally ask three men to join her in the performance zone after her scheduled show. We would then run the spatter guns and sprays until everyone is completely covered. Anyone who wants to join in has to have an up to the minute health clearance." answered Peter.

"You get a lot of volunteers?" asked James.

"You'd be amazed at how many," said Peter, "men that would never have contemplated anything like this will almost fight for the chance to take part, if they have seen her show"

"What exactly are they volunteering for?" asked James.

"Well, Chris has very specific likes. She enjoys being in control and moving men outside their comfort zone and she likes to start her group sessions with real scat. Her required outcomes are that, every guy gets to fuck her and has to come inside her. The second guy gets the first guy's creampie, the third gets the second and the first gets the third's. Everybody gets to eat some of everybody else's shit and shit kisses everyone else. Chris also likes to see guys sucking cocks so at the very least, the volunteers have to be versatile as well as perverted" answered Peter. "You have to remember that once everyone is thoroughly coated, there is a gentle rain of liquid shit that falls continuously."

"That's a visual thing?" asked James.

"Not just visual. It is impossible to avoid it getting into your mouth. Especially the way the Chris likes to receive oral sex. As fast as a man can lick her cunt clean the 'rain' covers it over again. I think that there is a huge psychological element to all this. People get to do something which is wonderfully perverted and in some ways disgusting, but they get to do it safely. Think about it from the performers' perspective. Usually, everyone who is watching has made a contribution, for Chris it's like a sacrament. From the audience's point of view watching performers being covered in excrement and consuming some of the excrement that they have contributed is something of a high. It makes bachelor nights and hens parties very memorable." said Peter.

"I notice that you keep calling it the device," said James "Does it have a name?"

"Some of the staff call it the Turdy Gurdy," said Peter, "I call it the device. It has made me quite rich." he added smiling, "Any thoughts on what sort of an evening you would like? I should point out that hire of the device is independent of the performers' fees. That covers two staff members and the device for up to 12 hours including site delivery, set and collection. We charge $2,000 for that."

"I'll have to discuss things with the lads" said James anticipating the half drunken dare and counter dare macho behaviour that was bound to happen "and I'll get back to you as soon as I can." Then, turning to leave he said to Peter, "Thanks for your time, it's been a real education."

As James walked back to his car he realised that he had a lot to think about and images of the short haired Chris were proving something of a distraction. He remembered something that an ex-girlfriend had said to him. "You can't say that you don't like cabbage if you have never tried it". The picture of Chris in his mind grinned and licked her lips. The drive home would not be comfortable.