Happy Ending?

I thought I had it all figured out. I was happy, looked forward to a great future and I thought I married a loving, faithful wife. I was wrong. My marriage was over almost before it began. We didn't make it through the honeymoon.

My name is Luke. My wife's name is Jill. We're both 24. We've known each other most of our lives. Jill is my sister's best friend. My sister, whose name is Amy, is my fraternal twin. Amy and Jill have been BFFs since Jill's family moved across the street from us when we were all four or five.

Jill's father is a drunk and a mean one. As far as I know, he's never hit Jill or her mother but life in that household was not fun once Jill's father started drinking. And he started drinking a lot. The good news is that Jill's father left her and her mother, Ann, when we were in sixth grade. Jill saw him maybe two or three times a year for a few years. That stopped and she hasn't seen him in years.

Jill spent most evenings and weekends in our home and even went on some vacations with us. I think Jill slept at our house as much as she slept in her own home. My parents came to see Jill as another daughter. Jill was always welcome in our home. For me, growing up, she became as big a pain in the butt as my sister. Another pest I avoided at all costs.

My parents are both schoolteachers. My father teaches high school English. My mother teaches middle school math. They earned enough when Amy and I were growing up so we didn't feel poor but there was a lot my parents couldn't afford to buy us. We had a small three-bedroom house. When Jill slept over, she slept in Amy's bed with Amy. When it became clear that Jill was going to become a regular fixture in our home, my parents bought another single bed for Jill for Amy's room.

Ann had Jill when she was sixteen. Ann and Jill's father dropped out of school and married. They were miserable together. Jill spent so much time at our house because of his drinking and their constant fighting. Ann worked, still works, at a high-end woman's clothing store. She works Saturdays through Wednesdays from 11am to 8pm. Once her father was gone, Jill came to our house most nights after school. Ate dinner and did her homework with us. And she was with us on Saturdays and Sundays when her mother was working. If Ann had a date, Jill slept over.

My mother's brother, Uncle Jake, is the wealthy one in the family. He owns a construction company. We see him as a second dad. When Jill was added to the mix, Uncle Jake considered her another part of the package, another niece. He was married once but divorced years ago. Whenever we needed something my parents couldn't afford, he would step in and pay. Uncle Jake has been a constant presence in our lives. He has no children of his own so he spoiled the three of us. We love being with him.

When we became juniors in high school, something changed with Jill, Amy and me. Instead of the petty childhood arguments and fights, the three of us became friends. We started going to parties together and even ate lunch together at school.

Amy settled on one boyfriend in high school, Alex. He's our age and has been my best friend since elementary school. During the summer between 10th and 11th grades, Amy and Alex became inseparable. The gang of four. Jill and I became closer and closer and were together even when Amy and Alex wanted to be off on their own.

By Christmas of 12th grade, Jill and I were sleeping together. We were in love and began to discuss our future together. Our future was set: college, marriage after college, careers, a family. Everything according to plan. As I said, I thought I had figured everything out.

Amy and Jill went to the same university. I went to a different one. We all saw each other during semester breaks and summers. A few weeks before leaving for college, I told Jill we had to talk, "Do you want to be single again while we're away at college?"

"Are you breaking up with me? Why are we talking about this?"

"I don't want to see other girls, but we won't be seeing each other very much for the next four years. The temptations at college may prove irresistible. I don't want you to feel as though you have to lie to me, go behind my back, if you want to see other guys. If we decide to pause our relationship, you can do what you want and not feel guilty."

"I don't want to see other guys. I love you. I'll be at school to learn, not to hook up. No, I don't want to be single again. Ever. I don't want any pauses. Is that what you want? To be single again?"

"No." Jill would have broken my heart if she said she wanted to be single at college. But I felt it was important to ask, to reestablish that we were exclusive and would remain so.

So that was our arrangement. We were basically promised to each other and would remain faithful during our time away from each other at university. I did remain completely faithful to Jill. Jill told me she remained faithful to me as well. I had no reason to suspect otherwise.

Alex did not go to college. His father owned a garage and Alex stated working full time there after high school. He's a terrific mechanic and is learning his father's business. It will be his someday. He made enough to buy a starter home. Alex and Amy married right after Amy graduated from college. Amy became pregnant shortly after they married. They have a son, Tom, who will be one next Spring.

After college, I started working for my uncle at his construction company. I majored in accounting and was employed in his bookkeeping department, keeping track of his A/R and A/P. His accounting procedures were antiquated so, with his encouragement, I revamped his receivables and payables. It turns out you can learn something in college.

Jill wanted to be a schoolteacher like my parents and, after graduation, began teaching at the elementary school we all attended. I was making enough money to buy a house. Jill moved in with me and we married last June.

As a wedding present, my Uncle Jake paid for our honeymoon. We went to Guadeloupe, an island in the eastern Caribbean, for a two-week honeymoon. The island is still attached to France and most of the people at the resort were French. Jill took French in high school and college, and she was pretty good. But she didn't need her French. At the resort, everyone spoke English, resort guests and staff. The resort was terrific. The place had three restaurants, two bars, a spa, shopping and two pools. We stayed in a two-story cottage right on the beach. The beach and the water were amazing.

We arrived at the resort late afternoon on Sunday, the day after our wedding. The ground floor of our cottage had a bedroom and bath. There was a front porch overlooking the water. The top floor had another bedroom with huge balcony, also overlooking the beach and the water. The balcony was private enough for us to fool around without being seen.

The night we arrived, after dinner, we decided to take a walk on the beach. It was a beautiful night. This place was truly paradise. It was light enough to enjoy the beach and the water.

Not far down the beach, we saw about 25 people sitting in a circle around a bonfire. We walked up to within a few feet of them to see what was going on. They were all in various stages of undress. Most of them, men and women, were not wearing shirts or tops. They girl who checked us in when we arrived at the resort was there wearing only bikini bottoms. She was passionately kissing some guy but saw us when she came up for air and waved. A lot of couples around the fire were in various stages of intimacy. One woman was lying back kissing one guy while another guy was pulling off her bathing suit. One couple was a few feet outside the circle fucking. No one seemed to notice or care.

They were passing around joints and the smell of marijuana was strong. When they saw us one guy, not wearing anything at all, walked up to us and asked, in French, if we wanted to join them. Jill translated. I shook my head no. We headed back to our cottage. Jill said, "That was weird."

I'm a big golf nut. I could do eighteen or thirty-six every day and never get tired of playing. Jill knew I would spend time during our honeymoon at a golf course on the island I was excited to play. Sitting all day sunbathing was not for me. I made a tee-time for 1pm that Monday. Jill and I would hit the beach in the morning then have lunch. I'd go play golf. Jill was happy to spend the day on the beach, reading, listening to music swimming and sunbathing. Vegging out on a beach was her idea of a good time. I'm always happy golfing.

We went to the beach after breakfast and grabbed two lounge chairs. French women, no matter how young or old, do not wear tops on the beach. Jill took off her bikini top. I asked, "What are you doing?"

"All the women are topless. It's no big deal." She giggled, "It's sort of liberating."

"I'm not happy with that." Jill frowned but put her top back on without a word.

After a few minutes, a small, very pretty blond woman about our age walked up to us. She was wearing a big floppy hat and had cut offs over a one-piece bathing suit. "Hi, I work for the resort. Can I see your room key?" She spoke to us in English with a strong southern American accent. I showed her my key. She glanced at it and said, "I apologize. People use the resort's private beach who shouldn't be here. My job is to make sure only people staying at the resort use our beach chairs. Don't feel picked on. I ask everyone I haven't seen before. Did you just arrive?"

Jill said, "Last night." We introduced ourselves. Her name is Jane.

I asked, "How did you know to speak English with us and not French?"

"Jill is wearing her bikini top so you guys probably aren't French. Where are you from?"

I told her the mid-Atlantic city where Jill and I live. "Where are you from?"

She named a U. S. city in the deep south. "I came here on holiday six years ago, fell in love with the island and I've been here ever since. You guys will fall in love with the island too. It's paradise. I work most days. If you need anything, just ask for me."

We had lunch and Jill went back to the beach. I went to the cottage to get my clubs. I looked out at the beach where Jill was sitting. Jane was on the beach lounge with Jill. Jane had taken the top of her bathing suit down and Jill was applying suntan lotion to Jane's back. Jill had made a friend. The golf course on the island was a good one.

That night we took another walk on the beach. Down as far as the bonfire on the beach. Evidently, this bonfire was a nightly occurrence. Jill and I stood just outside the circle of people, watching. At least two couples were.... coupling. Jane was there, wearing just bikini bottoms, and when she saw us, she came over. "Hello, it's good to see you. Why don't you join us. We're a mix of resort staff, guests and people from the island. We'll all talk in English so you won't feel excluded. Let me introduce you to everyone."

Jill looked at me hopefully, but I said, "No thanks."

Walking back to our cottage, we argued about it. Jill was annoyed with me and said, "We're here to enjoy ourselves. They're just a bunch of people talking and getting high. We can meet new people. We don't have to get high. We can just ignore those hooking up like the rest of them do and just relax and enjoy the conversation. Everyone speaks English. We can get to know some French people. Maybe make some friends."

"I'm not interested in sitting around with naked or half-naked people who are getting high and having sex on the beach." Jill sighed. We went back to our cottage.

I had booked an early tee-time for the next morning. Jill said, "I'm going to do some shopping in the main building and then go to the spa for a massage. Then to the beach. I'll be there when you're finished golfing."

When I returned from golf around noon, Jill was in our spot on the beach. Jill was anxious or troubled or bothered by something all that afternoon. Just sort of not there. Something was definitely wrong. I asked, trying to get her out of her funk, "Did you buy anything when you went shopping this morning? How was your massage?"

"I saw a bikini I liked but you wouldn't be happy if I wore it in public so I didn't buy it. I bumped into Jane. She said the masseuses at the spa weren't that good, she was much better and offered to give me a massage for free. We came back to the cottage and she gave me a message on our balcony. I'm sorry that I didn't just have a massage at the resort. Jane doesn't give massages."

"I don't understand. What did she do?"

Jill glanced at me and then looked down, "Nothing. I just meant she doesn't know what she's doing. It wasn't very relaxing."

Jill went silent. Unhappy about something. I asked, "What's wrong Jill?"

"I just want to get away from the resort. Can we eat dinner someplace else tonight? Maybe explore the island tomorrow?"

I said, "Sounds good to me." I went to the main building to rent a car and cancel my golf for the next day. I was walking back to where Jill was on the beach when I saw Jill and Jane arguing. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but Jill was angry, pointing her finger in Jane's face. Jane just stood there listening to Jill. Finally, Jane shrugged, turned and walked away. Jane and I passed each other and we both said, "Hi." Jane was stone faced.

I asked Jill, "What that was all about?"

Jill said, "Jane thinks she and I are buddies so we should pal around every minute. I was just reminding her that I'm here on my honeymoon and that I'm going to pal around with my husband, not her. You and I don't need Jane as a third wheel." Jill got up from her lounge chair, took my hand and said, "Let's shower together in the outside shower and then see how much we can mess up the sheets." Good idea.

Later, we left the resort to eat dinner. Jill still seemed preoccupied and restless. Still distracted. I asked her again, "What's wrong?

Jill said, "I feel like I need to break loose or break free or something. Like I can't breathe."

"Break free from what?"

"I don't know. When I figure it out, I'll probably get over the feeling."

We went back to the cottage. Jill did not want to walk on the beach, "I'm sick of all those people. I don't want to be around a bunch of degenerates." I've never heard Jill say anything like that. She's usually very open-minded. Much more than I am.

Wednesday, we went to a tropical forest wildlife preserve. You walk on trails and look at the fauna and flora. The forest is incredible. The tropical birds are incredible. That was a lot of fun. Jill seemed to get out of her mood while we walked around. But her funk was back when we got in the car. Jill didn't want to go back to the resort for lunch so we went to another resort to eat. The rest of the afternoon, we drove around the island looking at the sights. Jill was still preoccupied, still under some cloud. When we were driving, she just looked out the window, lost in thought. I asked her yet again, "What's bothering you?"

She sighed and said, "It's nothing. I was just thinking about the rest of our life together. Everything is so perfect I'm worried something will go wrong."

"Nothing will go wrong. Stop worrying and enjoy paradise."

"OK." We ate dinner away from the resort again. Jill didn't want to walk on the beach after dinner. We sat on our porch and looked at the water and the stars.

Thursday, we decided to look at other resorts and some of the beaches around the island. Jill was still in her dark mood. Still preoccupied.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you or are you going to continue to be a downer?"

She said, "I'm OK, just overwhelmed by everything. Sort of culture shock. How different our life is compared to the people here."

"Why should that bother you? We're going home at the end of next week."

"I don't know. Here I am planning our perfect life together. The people here don't plan past the next five minutes. We'll be back to the hubbub and responsibilities. Taking on more responsibilities when we have a child. The people here see their only responsibility as having fun. We're going to be locked into our life. These people here aren't locked into anything. I don't want to be like them. I want all those things: you, our marriage and a family. But there are times I envy them. Don't you ever want to tear off your clothes and run down the beach naked hooting and hollering? Just cut loose and not worry about what happens next?"

"Not really."

"Yeah, you're not much for hooting and hollering. I realize everyone has to make choices in life. I choose you and our life together every day. But sometimes I feel I'm missing out. I feel there are parts of me that I've never known about before. Being here on the island, some things keep bubbling up that I can't seem to ignore. On the one hand, I feel like I should explore those things. On the other hand, I'm afraid of what I'll find. And even more afraid you won't like what I find. You won't love me anymore."

Jill looked at me and smiled sheepishly, "I'm sorry. I'm just being silly. Being here brought all this out. I look at our life together and it seems awesome. But it's also very scary. We're on our honeymoon and I am being a downer. I'll work my way out of this. Whatever this is." She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek and repeated, "I'm sorry."

After looking around at a few other resorts on the island and eating lunch at one of them, we went looking at beaches and happened upon a nude public beach. I think there are two on the island.. We walked along the beach. No one was there. It was very hot. Jill said, "I want to go in the water to cool off."

Our bathing suits were back at the resort but there was no one around so I told her, "Go ahead."

"Only if you do too." The idea of cooling off while playing in the water with Jill was very appealing.

I took one last look around to make sure we were still alone but there were now three people walking toward us from the parking lot. It was two guys and a girl, all in their late teens. The girl was between the guys holding both their hands. The guys were wearing bathing suits. The girl was wearing only flip-flops for the hot sand. She was tanned all over.

Jill was standing slightly in front of me as they approached us. Jill was transfixed, staring at the trio. They passed us, talking and laughing, barely noticed we were there. But Jill could not take her eyes off the nude girl. Either could I. When they passed us, Jill snapped out of her fixation on the girl. She smiled at me, a clear untroubled smile for the first time in days. She said, "Let's head back to the resort. I'll race you to the car," and took off running toward the parking lot. Jill seemed to have resolved whatever was troubling her. She was out from under her cloud. Finally.

On the way back to the resort, Jill seemed happy, smiling, but still somewhat anxious. She started chattering like she does when she's nervous. She kept looking at the speedometer and frowning. I wasn't driving fast enough. After two days of wanting to get away from the resort, she suddenly couldn't wait to get back.

In the car on the way back, Jill said, "It's OK to return the rental car. If you want to golf tomorrow, go ahead and book a tee time. I'm good at just lying in the sun and relaxing all day. I'm done with exploring for now."

When we arrived at the resort, Jill said, "I have to pee. Can you drop me off and return the car on your own?" I let her out at the street entrance to the main building and went to return the car.

I walked into the main building to book a tee-time for the morning. The main building is an open structure with a 180 degree view of the beach and water. I saw Jill talking to Jane right outside on the beach. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Jill was crying and it looked like she was fervently apologizing or explaining something to Jane. Jane looked like she was trying to comfort Jill. Jane finally took Jill's face in both her hands and gently wiped the tears from under Jill's eyes with her thumbs. Jane said something to Jill and Jill nodded enthusiastically. Then Jill and Jane hugged. A long hug. When they broke apart, Jill grabbed Jane's left hand and squeezed it. They were both all smiles now. Jill began walking toward our cottage. She turned and waved to Jane. Jane waved back. Jane came in the main building and saw me. Smiling, she waved at me. I waved back.

When I returned to the cottage, Jill was glowing. "I saw you with Jane. What was that about?"

Jill said, "Jane has been nothing but a friend and I've treated her horribly. I feel terrible. I was apologizing to Jane for how I behaved." Jill paused. She had something else to tell me but was thinking about how to say it. Finally, she said, "Jane has a small sailboat. She's off work tomorrow and invited you and me to go sailing and snorkeling for the day. What do you think? Do you want to come? Skip golf?"

"No, I'd rather play golf. What do you know about Jane? Do you think it's safe to go off with her?"

"I spent the morning shopping with her the other day. Then she gave me a massage. Jane is really nice. I enjoy spending time with her. She's different from anyone I've ever met. She's interesting. I'll be fine."

That night we ate dinner at a restaurant at the resort, Jane came by our table to say hello. Jill brightened when she saw Jane. Big smile back from Jane. Jane noticed that I was also there and said, "Hello," to me. I invited her to sit with us at the table.

Jane said, "Sitting with resort guests is a no, no. The restaurant manager hates me and will report me."

I asked, amused, "Why does the manager hate you?"

Jane said, 'The guy's a bigot, he doesn't like...." Jane stopped herself, glanced at Jill, and continued, "He just doesn't like me. Thinks I'm too free spirited I guess." Jill giggled and Jane smiled at her.

Jane started to talk to Jill about where and when the two of them should meet at the dock in the morning. Jill's eyes widened and she glared at Jane. Jill quickly interrupted her, "Luke is not going to come with us tomorrow. He's going to play golf. It was nice of you to invite both of us but he says he'd rather golf."

Jane turned from Jill to look at me. Big smile, "I thought the three of us could go for a sail and do some snorkeling. It'll be fun. Are you sure you don't want to come? You'll enjoy it."

I said, "No, I'd rather golf. How long do you think you'll be sailing. When will you be back?"

Jane said, "It depends somewhat on the wind. Probably mid or late afternoon. I'm going to teach Jill sailing and we'll do some skin diving." Jill and Jane agreed on a time to meet at the resort dock in the morning.

Jill asked, "Should I get some food to bring?"

Jane replied, "Don't worry about food. There will be lots to eat on the boat. I'll bring some water bottles but you might want to grab a few from your room too." She smiled at Jill and asked me, "Are you sure you won't come with us?"

"I'm sure. Thanks."

Jane shrugged and said to Jill, "I guess we'll be on our own then."

Jill wanted to walk on the beach after dinner. I said fine but led her in the opposite direction from the bonfire. She seemed surprised but didn't say anything. Jill was in a very good mood, holding onto my arm while we walked. We talked about what we'd do when we get home. Jill said, "I want to start a family right away. I hope you're ready too. This has been the most wonderful honeymoon. I could stay here with you forever. You are the most wonderful husband. I love you so much. How did I get so lucky?"

I said, "I feel the same about you. But starting a family is something we'll have to talk more about."

Jill looked at me concerned and said, "We should probably talk about that sooner rather than later."

I was uneasy now and asked, "Why? What do you mean?"

"Nothing let's just enjoy paradise. There's plenty of time later to talk about me getting pregnant."

Jill got up early the next morning to go sailing. I went to play golf. Jill didn't return until late afternoon. I was sitting on the cottage porch waiting for her when I saw her walking along the edge of the water, coming from the direction of the main building. The docks were in the opposite direction. She turned away from the water to walk up to our cottage.

She was wearing a thong bikini. The top was two tiny transparent triangles. The bottom had a small triangle in front that barely covered her vagina. Actually, it didn't completely cover it. When she got about twenty feet from where I was sitting, I asked, indicating the bikini, "Where'd you get that?"

Jill stopped there and said, "We came back to eat lunch and I bought it in one of the shops." She circled to model it for me. "Do you like it. I could have bought it without the top but you said you didn't like me topless."

The back of her bikini was just a string that didn't even reach the top of her ass crack attached to two strings holding the front in place. Jill looked hot but I said, "No. I don't like it."

Jill frowned and asked, "What's wrong with it?"

"Everything. It's too revealing. I should be the only one to see all that."

"Everyone here has bikinis like this. It's bad enough that I'm the only girl on the beach wearing a top, I also have to cover up like I'm fifty years old."

"I didn't care what everyone else does. I don't want you wearing that."

"Then I won't wear it." She took off the bikini, top and bottom, walked the twenty feet to the cottage and stopped to throw the two pieces at me. Some people were walking by on the wooden sidewalk that connects the cottages to the main building. They had stopped to watch the show. Jill stood facing them and still pissed off, asked, "Like what you see?" They began to move on and Jill went inside the cottage. This was very unlike Jill. She always dressed modestly. This was the first conversation we'd ever had about her dressing inappropriately.

I followed Jill inside. "Why did you buy something like that. Why wear anything at all? Your top is see through, the bottom is so small your lips are hanging out. If you bend over, people will be able to see up all the way to your tonsils."

"I think I look good in it. I feel sexy in it. We're at a resort where everyone wears suits like this. You're just being controlling."

I threw her bikini in the trash. Jill said, "Jerk. I'm twenty-four, not a hundred and four. People are walking around here nude and you're worried about a two-piece bathing suit? There's nothing wrong with the suit. I'm going to wear it. I like that people like me in it." She got it out of the trash.

Jill was sunburned everywhere. Her breasts, her butt and front, inside her tan lines. Even the places the skimpy little bikini covered were pink.

"How did you get sunburn all over your boobs and butt? And your vagina?"

Jill was still mad about the bikini and said, "Jane said we're going skin diving so we should do it in our skin. Don't freak out about that too. It was just the two of us, no other boats were around, so we swam nude. Big deal. The fish didn't mind. The underwater life was incredible. Jane is off work again tomorrow so we're going out again. I'm going to buy suntan lotion tonight that sweat and water won't wash off."

I was angry about Jill buying and wearing the bikini but also her taking it off in public. I decided to fuck with her a little. I said, "Maybe I'll come with you tomorrow. Sailing sounds like fun."

Jill quickly turned to look at me, alarm on her face, "Really. That would be great. Are you tired of golfing?" She stared at me to see if I was serious about joining them.

"Maybe."

"Wow, it would be so much fun if you came. I have to call Jane and let her know if you're coming. I thought you couldn't get enough of golf. The course is so good and all. Are you sure you want to come with us?"

"Why not."

Jill didn't like that but said, "Jane invited us to the bonfire tonight. Do you want to go? I'd like you to get to know her better. She's really a sweet kid."

"I'm tired and just want to stay at the cottage and relax after dinner. We're going to spend the whole day with Jane tomorrow. Plenty of time to get to know her better."

Jill couldn't hide her distress, "So you're coming with us?"

"We'll see."

"Would you put some lotion on my sunburn?" I'm always ready to put lotion on Jill. But that's as far as things went. Jill and I had made love every night since we arrived on the island. But tonight Jill said, "Sorry sweety, I'm too sore from the sunburn to do anything." Disappointing.

Jill didn't keep asking about me going sailing with them. She was afraid if she pushed it I'd come just because it was clear she didn't want me to. I thought about it but decided to let her pal around with her friend. As we were going to sleep, I said, "I think I'm gonna play golf tomorrow."

Obviously relieved, Jill said, "Are you sure? I was looking forward to spending the day with you. But I know how much you love golf. Maybe you'll come if Jane invites us again the next time she's off work."

"Sure."

The next day was a repeat of the previous day. Jill left to meet Jane at her boat. I went to play golf. Jill got home even later than the day before. I asked why she was so late and she said, "We went out further in the boat and lost track of the time." Jill was wearing a t-shirt over the bathing suit she brought with her from home.

"Did you go skinny dipping again?"

Jill smiled, "Well, you don't want me to wear the bikini I bought."

We ate dinner. Jill asked, "Do you want to hang out at the bonfire tonight? Jane will be there."

"No, I played thirty-six holes. The heat is debilitating. I'm tired."

"Do you mind if I go alone for an hour or so? I sort of told Jane we'd meet her there."

"I think the bonfire is just an excuse for people to hook up. Why would you want to be around such people? You told me they were degenerates."

She said, "I'm not that tired. I thought I'd go and say hello to Jane and sit a while." I gave Jill a very disapproving look. "OK, I'll just sit on our porch for a while." I sat with her but eventually left her on the porch to go to bed.

I fell asleep but woke up a couple of hours later, after 1am. Jill wasn't in bed and wasn't on the porch. I looked out and saw her t-shirt hanging from the hook in the outdoor shower. Maybe she went for a swim. Not a good idea to do that on her own at night so I went looking for her. It was dark, not much of a moon and cloudy. I couldn't see the sea so I walked down to the water. She wasn't anywhere near our cottage. Now I was really worried.

I walked down the beach. When I got to the bonfire, Jill and Jane were between me and the fire. Backlit by the fire. I stayed back in the dark so they couldn't see me. They were both naked on a blanket. Jane was on her back and Jill was giving Jane oral. On her knees with her butt in the air. They seemed to be enjoying themselves. A couple of men walked over behind Jill. Then a third man got up and started toward the other two men. Jill was too intent on what she was doing to notice the men lining up behind her. Jane had her eyes closed. The first man in line took off his shorts and put a hand between Jill's legs, trying to get her to open her legs more. That got Jill's attention. Jill stopped what she was doing, lifted up on her knees, turned and asked, in English, "What do you think you're doing. Don't touch me. Go away. I'm not having sex with you." She looked at the other men, "Any of you. Jane, let's go someplace else." Jane pulled Jill down on top of her in a hug, gently stroked Jill's back to calm her down and yelled angrily at the guys in French. Loud enough for everyone to hear. The guy, not looking very happy, said something back in French but put on his shorts and the three men moved away. I'd seen enough.

I went back to the cottage and packed my stuff. I got in one of the cabs waiting at the front entrance of resort and went to the airport. I changed my ticket to take the first flight back to the U. S. I called my uncle and told him, "The honeymoon's over. Jill is on the beach fucking some girl. I'm coming home. Stop her charges to your credit card." My wealthy and generous uncle was paying for everything so what we spent was charged to our room and to his credit card. "Do you know a good divorce attorney?"

He said, "Yes, I'll text you her contact information. Make sure she knows you're my nephew. I'll take care of the credit card." I turned off my phone and spent the night in the airport waiting for a morning flight.

When I landed, I turned on my phone to find twenty-nine texts and eighteen voice messages from Jill. I didn't listen to the messages or read the texts. I blocked her number. I called my mother. "Jill decided she wants to screw other people so I coming home. I'm in Miami waiting for my next flight. We're going to divorce."

My mother said, "Don't be too hasty. Let's see what Jill has to say. There must be some explanation. Just calm down and talk to her. You know she loves you. Did she come home with you? Is she there with you? Let me talk to her."

"I don't know where she is. We're way past the talking stage. I've got nothing to say to her." When I called my sister to tell her the news, she told me the same thing my mother did. Almost word for word.

I saw the attorney my uncle gave me the following Wednesday. I explained what happened and asked, "Can we just get an annulment?"

"No. An annulment doesn't fit your situation. It's given mostly in cases of fraud. Someone's already married or they're not who they say they are. Things like that. There are other reasons but your circumstances don't fit. We're in an at-fault state and we can use the adultery in a divorce. Tell me about finances. Who owns what?"

"I own my house; we haven't had time to put Jill's name on the deed or the mortgage. My car is registered to me, Jill's to her. We haven't consolidated our banking so our finances are still separate."

"Where is Jill now?"

"I don't know but probably still in the Caribbean with her girlfriend."

"Do you have any evidence of her infidelity?"

"I saw it with my own eyes."

"Her word against yours. Honestly, your finances are so simple that we don't need to go through all that. You don't own anything in common. You've been married less than two weeks so there'll be no alimony. No kids. I'll draw up the paperwork and we'll serve her as soon as she returns. It should not be a difficult divorce."

That was the second week of June. Jill showed up at my home the first week of August, about two months after our wedding. I'd changed the locks on the doors so she couldn't get inside. I came home from work and found her sitting at my front door. She'd come here directly from the airport with the luggage she'd taken to the Caribbean. She got up when she saw me. She started crying, a tactic she used that always worked with me when she wasn't getting her way. Her tears could get me to do anything she wanted. But at this point nothing she did could affect me.

I said, "Go away."

Crying harder she said, "I understand that you're mad at me. You have every right to be mad. You must have followed me and saw me with Jane. But I wasn't with a man so it wasn't really cheating. I love you and want to be with you. Jane was just an insane aberration. I got caught up with the beach culture. I'm over that. I'll do anything to save our marriage. Please give me a chance to show you how much I love you." Her tears were streaming down her face.

"Get lost. There is no marriage to save. I had divorce papers prepared. Now that you're back, I'll have you served."

I put the key in the lock and opened the door. I was careful to keep my body between Jill and the door. I didn't want her in my house. I wouldn't be able to get her out. She asked, "Can we just talk. I can explain."

I said, "There's nothing to talk about. Get an attorney. You attorney can talk to my attorney." I started to go in the house. Jill was just behind me and I told her, "You're not coming in." I went in and started to close the door.

Jill announced, "I'm pregnant."

That stopped me. I asked, "Why are you telling me? Go tell the father." I closed the door in her face.

She yelled, "You're the father." She stayed at the front door knocking and calling my name for a while. Finally, she left.

An hour later my phone started to blow up with calls from my mother and sister. Whose B. S. should I listen to first? I answered my mother's fourth call. She asked me, "Are you insane? Why did you send Jill away? She's pregnant with your child. She loves you. OK, she made a little mistake. It wasn't really cheating. It wasn't as if she went off with another man. People make mistakes. You've made plenty of them. Get over yourself. Jill is here with me and Amy. We're bringing her home right now."

I told her, "I won't let you in. Jill and I are done. Tell her to get a lawyer. I haven't seen Jill in two months. If she really is pregnant, the child can't be mine."

My mother replied, "Jill was only with a woman at the beach. A woman certainly did not get her pregnant. Jill was already pregnant when you got married. She wanted you both to enjoy the wedding and honeymoon without bringing a baby into the picture. She wanted the wedding and honeymoon to be only about you and her. Jill was going to tell you the good news about the baby the night before you two returned home. When the trip was over. The baby is yours. If you had just listened to her you for two seconds, she would have told you all this."

I said, "Well, the honeymoon was about Jill and her girlfriend, not about me and her. Jill ended up enjoying the honeymoon in the arms of someone else. Why would I want to remain married to someone who prefers women?"

My mother said, "Jill wants to be with you. She made a mistake. She's having your baby. Jill loves you. You have to talk to her. She'll explain everything. We can come by now."

"I don't believe Jill is pregnant. But we're divorcing regardless of a baby. If she is pregnant, I don't believe the baby is mine. If she insists it's mine, we need to get a paternity test."

My mother went nuts, yelling at me. I quietly said goodbye and hung up. I can't block my mother and sister, but I don't have to answer their calls.

My father called later in the week and asked me to dinner Saturday night. I asked, "Who will be there?"

"Just Amy and Alex, Uncle Jake, Mom and me."

"Not Jill?"

"Jill is staying with her mother across the street. She won't be at dinner but we can call her to come over if you want to talk to her. But she won't be at dinner."

"Why the big family dinner all of a sudden?"

"Your mother, sister and you are fighting. "It's time you stopped fighting."

Dinner was cordial. My mother and sister didn't bring Jill up during dinner. We cleared the table and my father went to wash the dishes. Alex, Amy, my mother, Uncle Jake and I sat in the living room. Mom started, "Jill is devastated. She loves you but says she got caught up in the freewheeling beach scene. People weren't worried about jobs and families and getting ahead. They were just having fun. Jill got hooked on the easy-going lifestyle. She made the biggest mistake of her life getting involved with this woman. But it wasn't another man. Just a stupid little attraction to a woman. Jill says the woman is a sexual predator who goes after women guests, married or not. Jill was just her latest conquest. Jill is ashamed of how foolish she's been. But you shouldn't let one stupid mistake ruin your lives. You can repair your marriage and be as happy as you were at your wedding. Jill is family. We are all family and as a family we can fix this small hiccup."

I said, "Jill stayed with this woman for two months before returning home. Jill returned home because the school year is starting and she's probably out of money. She also needs to keep the health insurance her job provides. Especially if she's really pregnant. That's why she's back, not because of me."

My sister Amy replied, "She does need her job and the health insurance. But she came back because she loves you. Jill became enthralled with this woman but eventually realized it was all superficial. All fantasy. All a mistake. As soon as she understood how badly she fucked up, she rushed home to you. If she was really into women, why would she want to remain married to you? You should just forgive her and get on with your marriage."

I asked my sister, "When can we expect Jill's next fuckup? How soon before her next mistake? Jill only came home because her girlfriend got tired of her or, when she found out Jill was pregnant, her girlfriend probably didn't want a ready-made family and threw Jill out. Or Jill just ran out of money. She's here for her job and the health insurance. She's not here for me. The baby's not mine. Jill just needs a father to help with the baby and she figured I'm available, the idiot who married her. A convenient dupe who she thinks will put up with her cheating."

My mother replied, "The baby is yours. Jill has agreed to a paternity test. She's far enough along in her pregnancy so a safe paternity test is possible. We need a swab from you. We have a kit to take your swab."

"No, we're not doing it now. I want to go to a lab here and have them take the swab. I want to make sure no one's substituted the real father's DNA for mine. But it doesn't matter if the baby is mine. There is no chance of my remaining in a marriage with an unfaithful wife. If Jill is really pregnant and the baby is mine, I'll be a part of the baby's life. But I'm divorcing Jill."

My mother repeated, "Jill has not been with another guy. She has not been unfaithful. It was a woman for heaven's sake. All girls go through a girls' phase, experiment with other girls. Most do it in college or before they marry but Jill did what all girls do sooner or later. It doesn't mean anything. This woman didn't mean anything to Jill. Jill was just exploring. Completely natural."

My sister chimed in, "Jill is truly sorry and loves you. We can get past this. I'm going to call Jill and tell her to come over so we can all talk. Jill's waiting for the call."

"If you pick up your phone, I'm leaving." I asked Amy's husband Alex, "If Amy had an affair with a woman would you just get past it and continue with their marriage."

Alex said, "If I found out Amy was with anyone else, I'd be out the door as fast as I can move my feet." Amy stared at him but Alex didn't budge and told her, "I'd be gone as fast as I can go. Our marriage would be over." Amy looked at him with what looked to me like panic. I never thought Amy would ever cheat on Alex. Because of the flash of panic in her eyes, I wondered if she's always been faithful to him. I wondered if Alex saw that panicked look too.

I asked my uncle, "What would you do?"

He said, "I divorced my wife because she spent one night with another man." He looked at me and said, "Once a cheater, always a cheater. It makes no difference if it's a man or a woman. The times she cheated before or maybe in the future it'll be with men. It doesn't matter. If you take a cheater back, it just tells them there are no serious consequences to their cheating. So they'll keep doing it.

"I love Jill just as I love you and Amy. I consider her my niece. But I wouldn't stay married to her. Nothing but a future of heartbreak. It makes no difference if it was with a man or a woman."

My father learned long ago never to disagree with my mother in public. Public means anyone other than the two of them. He can say things like he needs to think about what my mother said, or they'll talk about it later. But there would be too big a fight afterwards if my father directly disagreed with my mother in front of other people. They hashed out their disagreements when they thought no one was around. My mother doesn't abide by the same constraints.

My father had finished with the dishes and sat down in a chair across from the couch. I asked, "Dad, if Mom had an affair with a woman would you forgive and forget?"

I didn't expect my father to say anything. My father smiled at my mother and said, "We've been together over twenty-five years. I love you as much as I did the day we married." Mom smiled back at him and blew him a kiss. Dad continued, "If your mother cheated on me with a man or woman, I'd be out the door faster than Alex said he'd be out his door. There would no going back from that. I'd leave in an instant and divorce her."

My mother looked at him in alarm. My father looked at her and said, "That's what I'd do. That's what Luke should do."

I looked at my mother and sister and said, "I agree. It's unanimous."

My mother and sister glared at all of us men. My sister said, "Let's get Jill to come over so she can explain what happened. Maybe just Jill, Luke, me and Mom. Alex, Dad and Uncle Jake should probably leave."

I stood up and said, "I'm going for a drink. Anyone want to come?"

Alex stood up, "I know just the bar. We can have a few beers, relax and talk. Dad, Alex, Uncle Jake and I left my mother and sister sitting on the couch angry at the men in their lives. At least all the men we know about.

As we were leaving, I told my mother, "I'll find a lab for the paternity test. I'll let you know which lab so Jill can get her blood test done there too. Then we'll know what's what."

I found a lab and had my DNA taken the following Monday. Jill did her non-invasive test the next day. I got an email with the paternity test a short time later. I'm the father. The baby is a boy. I called my attorney and told her the news. She said, "No more simple divorce. Are you sure it's yours?" I told her about the paternity test.

"What are you planning to do now?"

"I'm still divorcing Jill but I want to be in my son's life."

"OK, we have to work out custody, visitation and child support. Does Jill have a lawyer?"

I said, "I don't think she has a lawyer. She's still hoping I'll take her back. As far as custody goes, she should have custody but I want to see the kid as often as I can. I don't want her to use my wanting to see the boy against me. I don't want any trouble from her about my spending time with my son."

"She needs a lawyer. Tell her to get one. When is she due?"

"February."

"Pregnancies are iffy. I hope everything goes well and the baby is healthy but let's see what happens with the pregnancy and birth. No use fighting about everything until we have a healthy baby. Then we can worry about custody and child support. There's no rush. Has Jill asked you for money?"

"No."

"She will once the baby is born. Be generous within reason. Don't have her take you to court because you're not supporting your child. Once she gives birth, we can sort out money for the child for the divorce settlement."

My mother called me, "The DNA test proves that Jill has not cheated on you. When can I bring Jill over so we can sit down and talk this over?"

I told my mother, "I won't stay married to an unfaithful wife."

"IT WAS A WOMAN," my mother yelled into the phone. "What don't you get about that? She wasn't unfaithful. And you have a child coming."

"Tell her to get a lawyer."

"You're just a spoiled brat. Jill made an appointment to see an obstetrician. If you're going to be a part of the baby's life, you should start now." She gave me the appointment time and the doctor's address. "If you can't be there for Jill, at least be there for your son."

I thought about it and said, "It would be better for everyone if Jill just got rid of it."

My mother replied, "Don't be stupid. That's not going to happen. I won't even tell Jill you said that. You have to deal with becoming a father and having a family. You better get used to it. You're not going to find anyone who loves you the way Jill does."

I replied, "I hope not." My mother hung up on me.

I decided I wouldn't be going to the doctor appointments or birth classes. I'd be going to support Jill, not for the baby. Instead, I'll get the doctor's reports on my son. I did. My son is doing well. So's his mother.

The following Saturday, Alex, my sister Amy's husband, called me, "I need to talk to you about something. If you're home, I'll come now."

"I'm here."

When he arrived, we cracked a couple of beers and sat out on the deck. He said, "I came home from the gym early today because I hurt my back. Jill was visiting Amy and they were outside on our patio. The patio door was open to the kitchen so Amy could hear our baby. It was a beautiful day and the neighbor was mowing his back lawn so Jill and Amy didn't hear me come home.

"I went to get a beer before saying hello and heard Amy and Jill talking. Jill was telling Amy about her time in the Caribbean, her time with this Jane person."

Alex went on to tell me what he heard:

Amy said to Jill, "Don't give me this bullshit. You've had a completely boring sex life since college. Now something exciting happens and you won't tell me about it. We used to tell each other everything. Nothing can be more embarrassing than the stuff you told me you did in college. You were wild."

"Not as wild as you were."

"Well, those days are over. Now I'm married and I have a baby. I'm completely bored. You have to tell me what happened. You probably did worse in college. Why are you so shy all of a sudden?"

"Where's Alex."

"He's at the gym. He won't be back for hours. Just tell me what happened. I'm not going to tell Luke. I never thought you were into girls. You didn't tell me about any hookups with girls in the past. Have you always been attracted to women? Were you checking me out when you slept over?"

Jill said. "Don't worry, I'm not into you. Your ass is too big."

Amy said, "It is not. I have a cute butt."

Jill said, "Stand up, let me see. It's bigger than it used to be."

"When you have your baby, we'll do a before and after of your ass. See how big yours gets."

Jill continued, "No, I've never been attracted to women. I'll tell you what happened but this can't get back to Luke. And you can't tell Alex. He'll tell Luke."

"I'm not telling anyone. I've never told Alex anything about our college days. He'd probably divorce me. You have as much on me as I have on you. Just tell me already."

"OK, but Luke can't know. Jane is pretty, petite and very feminine. The last thing you'd think when you meet her is 'lesbian'. That's how she operates. You don't know what she's up to until her fingers are massaging your clit and she has them inside you. I saw Jane as just someone to pal around and talk to while we were in the Caribbean. A friend.

"I was going shopping and to get a massage, Jane saw me heading toward the main building and sort of tagged along with me. Jane was something new and different. I have never met anyone like her. She is friendly, carefree and so pretty. Do you want to see a picture of her?"

"Sure." After a minute, Amy said, "You're not wearing anything."

"We had just finished tying up her boat at the dock so we hadn't put our suits on yet. We didn't wear bathing suits much and you sorta forget you're not wearing anything. It begins to feel natural. Jane wanted pictures of the two us so she asked one of the guys hanging around the dock to take pictures with her phone. She sent that one to me."

"She is cute. Nice tits. You both have all over tans. When was this taken?"

"Just before I flew home. But that was later. Anyway, I was going shopping and Jane joined me. She took me to stores which she said wouldn't rip me off. She pushed me to model a very revealing bikini. Modeling for Jane in a store almost naked with people wandering by and seeing me was a real turn on. I didn't buy the bikini because Luke would have killed me if I tried to wear it on the beach.

"Then Jane offered to give me a massage. She said she was better than the masseuses at the resort. I thought it was innocent enough so sure, why not. But it became a very sensual massage with a very happy ending. Or rather continuous happy endings. I've never experienced anything like that. It was very.... pleasurable. Hell, what am I saying. It was amazing, incredibly erotic. I kept having orgasms. Jane really knows what's she's doing. With her fingers and then with her mouth. She didn't ask anything of me. Just pure continuous pleasure for me. It was an entirely new experience. It went on for over an hour. I would have stayed with her all day but she had to get back to work and Luke was returning from golf. I had to meet him on the beach.

"But after the high from the sex with Jane faded, I freaked out. Was I now into women? Was I bi? I wanted a life with Luke more than anything but this woman took me places I've never been. All I could think about was Jane with her fingers and mouth on me. I decided I had to cut it off before it went any further. I told Jane that I wanted nothing more to do with her. That she tricked me. That I'm not into women. If she didn't stay away from me, I'd complain about her to the resort. I told Luke I wanted to explore the island to get away from the resort. I wanted to get away from Jane.

"But I couldn't stop thinking about her. So I brooded about it. Luke knew something was wrong but I wasn't going to tell him about Jane and me. And I couldn't figure out what was going on with me. I have always been attracted to men and Luke still makes my heart beat faster. But I couldn't stop thinking about Jane. I was confused to say the least. I agonized about it for days.

"When we saw a naked girl on a nude beach, I realized I wasn't into women. She was good looking but I wasn't attracted to her at all. I wasn't a lesbian. It was just Jane. Something about Jane."

Amy interrupted, "You were with Jane for two months. You are a lesbian. Or at least bi."

Jill continued, "I only meant that seeing the nude girl made me realize I didn't have to change my life around, my attraction to Jane wasn't life altering."

Amy said, "It was life altering. You left your husband to be with this woman. Luke is planning to divorce you. That's pretty life changing."

"I'm just saying that the nude girl confirmed for me that I wasn't into women, I was into Jane. Just Jane. When I told this to Jane later, she laughed and said I was a college lesbian. I had a crush on her and was just trying it out before going straight again. But Jane said she was willing to be there for tryouts. Jane thought it was funny. My confusion was funny.

"Luke and I returned to the resort after seeing this nude girl. I made up with Jane. Since she's a woman, I didn't consider it cheating. I thought I needed to get her out of my system. I didn't want to look back and think I missed out on something. And I didn't want Jane hanging over our marriage. I didn't want any regrets to come between Luke and me. I thought I would explore my fascination with Jane and let it play out. I was sure it would burn itself out quickly.

"I went sailing with Jane the next two days. Luke was off playing golf. The two days with Jane were the most incredible sexual experiences of my life. Jane showed me how to pleasure her. I enjoyed that too. I came once while giving Jane oral. She wasn't even touching me but I had an orgasm just giving her head. I've never had an orgasm giving a guy a blow job. I always just wanted it over with. The opposite with Jane. I wasn't getting Jane out of my system. I was becoming more addicted to her. And Jane knew it. We came back to the resort for lunch the first day we went sailing. Jane had said that there would be plenty to eat on the boat but she didn't mean food. Jane's humor.

"After we ate lunch, before we went back to Jane's house for the rest of the afternoon, Jane insisted I buy the revealing bikini I tried on when we went shopping earlier in the week. She knew that it would create huge problems for me with Luke. But she told me not to be so uptight. She said she wanted me to buy it because I looked so good in it. She also insisted I wear it in front of Luke. Luke had to stop being so controlling. I was so into Jane that I bought the bikini and wore the bottoms when I was walking around with her. I also wore the bikini in front of Luke but with the top on. Just like Jane wanted. And, like I knew he would, Luke went nuts. He is sort of controlling.

"Luke, of course, wasn't supposed to find out what was really going on with Jane and me. Honestly, I thought if he did find out, he'd just be hurt or upset but he'd let me explain. He'd get over it. When the honeymoon was over I planned to return home with him. Jane would be out of my system. He and I would get on with our lives. I love him and want to be with him. Jane was just supposed to be an amazing but short detour in my life with Luke. Jane would just become a memory.

"After the second day of sailing, I was completely enthralled with Jane. I could think of nothing else. I had an itch only she could scratch and I couldn't wait for her to scratch it some more. I waited until Luke went to sleep that night and sneaked off to meet Jane at a bonfire down the beach. Lots of sex and drugs at this bonfire every night. Jane and I made love naked right there on the beach in front of everyone. That's how far gone I was."

Amy interrupted, "Now I'm turned on. Why don't we go to Guadeloupe and find this bonfire."

"You're married. With a child."

"You're married. You're expecting a child. It doesn't sound like that stopped you from having the time of your life. What Alex doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Talk to Jane. Maybe she'll give you the scenic tour. But she'll probably want to tour you first."

"I wish the three could vacation together in the Caribbean. Leave Tom with Alex and go wild. Like we were in college."

"Do you want to hear the rest of this?"

"So you made love every night on the beach with Jane. It was wonderful. Blah, blah, blah."

"No, that was the last time we went to the bonfire. Some guys at the bonfire didn't realize this was something solely between me and Jane. They wanted to participate. I was uncomfortable being with Jane in front of all those people so we never went back."

"Why not let them join in? Just let me think for a minute about fucking a bunch of random guys on the beach in front of a bonfire. Under the stars." After a short time, "I have to get out of this marriage and baby rut. I have to find someone like Jane. Only someone with a dick. I had a kid too quick. Makes it hard to go out and find hook ups. OK, go ahead. Give me more to fantasize about when Alex is humping me."

Jill continued, "Just be careful. I was stupid and got caught. Luke must have followed me that night and saw Jane and me together. He left me in Guadeloupe without saying a word. His uncle stopped the payments to the credit card. But the room at the resort was paid for. I figured I'd come home on the return flight we'd originally booked. The ticket was still good. I'd have almost a week alone with Jane. Then you and your mom called, 'Luke is furious and threatening divorce. You better get home and face the music. Save your marriage.' I missed Luke but the lifestyle there is 'Put off until tomorrow what you don't absolutely have to do it today. Then put it off anyway.' And I was immersed in that lifestyle. Having to face a justifiably angry husband is easy to put off until tomorrow. And the next day. A few days turned into two months.

"When the room at the resort was no longer available, I went to live with Jane. But I finally realized that the fantasy life with Jane had to end. I love Jane but I had to face reality. I'm pregnant with Luke's child. I was out of money. I had no health insurance in the Caribbean. I returned home to start our marriage and family together. I had a husband and job to get back to. A real life to get back to. I knew I'd be returning to face Luke's wrath. But I really missed him. I love him and want to be with him. I thought we'd have a tough time for a while but Luke would eventually forgive me. We'd have the life we've been planning since we were in high school. He, the baby and I would be a family. What I've always wanted."

Neither of them said anything for a while. Then Amy asked, "If Jane showed up right now and wanted to live here with you, you'd have your job and your health insurance, what would you do? Luke or Jane?"

"Both, if I could figure out how to do it. Realistically, I think I'd probably stay with Luke. I do love him. But it would be nice having Jane here too. She knows me down to my core. Every inch of me. Every button to push. She loves me and will always have my back. But we wouldn't be in the Caribbean so it might not be the same. Jane would be like a fish out of water."

Alex finished up telling me what he heard, "Amy said she had to pee and check on our son Tom. She came in the kitchen and found me standing there listening. She asked me, 'Why are you eavesdropping? What did you hear?' I ignored her and called you. She's been calling and texting continuously, so I left my phone in the car. Let her sweat."

I said, "It fills in some blank spots. They hooked up for the first time on the Tuesday after we arrived, continued on Friday and Saturday on Jane's boat and in Jane's home and I found them on the beach early Sunday morning. Jill was brooding all day Wednesday and Thursday until we saw this nude girl on the beach. Then her mood changed and she was happy again. Happy to get back to Jane. When I asked her what was wrong, why she was in a funk, she said she found out some things about herself that she was scared of. I thought she was stressed or insecure about the future. I didn't think what she discovered is that she's a lesbian. I also stupidly believed she was faithful to me in college. That she wasn't is another nail in the coffin of our marriage."

I said to Alex, "I know what I'm going to do about Jill. Divorce her. What are you going to do about Amy?"

"I'm going to have another beer. Take my time so Amy gets more and more frantic. Then I'm going to go home so Amy and I can have a detailed conversation about what I don't know so it won't hurt me and her wild times in college. I may be back here tonight to stay."

"You're always welcome." I didn't hear anything more about what Alex doesn't know or Amy's college years. Amy must have done some fast talking. She's good at that.

Jane arrived from the Caribbean right after Labor Day. She knocked on Ann's door looking for Jill.

My mother called with the news, "Jane is here. She's living at Ann's. She's just here to help Jill though the pregnancy. Since you won't. Jill is no longer involved with Jane in a romantic way. They're in separate rooms. She'll just go with Jill to the doctor's and to birth classes. Someone has to. I'm working, Ann is working and Amy has a newborn baby to take care of. It's your job but you won't do it. Jill told me that Jane is planning to go back to the Caribbean once the baby is born. So don't get all worked up over nothing again. Jane's not here to take you wife away."

"She already has. I don't care about Jill or Jane or what they do."

Mom said, "I'm afraid Jane will convince Jill to go back with her. And take the baby with them. Jill wouldn't even be tempted by Jane if you two are back together. If she takes the baby to the Caribbean, we'll never see your son. You have to do something."

"I wouldn't worry. Jill won't have health insurance for her or the baby in the Caribbean. Newborns need healthcare. Jill won't have the money to pay for doctors without insurance."

"Well, I am worried. You'd better be worried too. Jane doesn't seem the type of person to give up."

I was worried enough to call my attorney. She said, "The baby needs a passport to enter a foreign country just like you do. Unless Jill has a court order showing she has sole custody of your son, you have to sign the paperwork to get your boy a passport. If you don't sign it, he doesn't get a passport. And without a passport he can't enter Guadalupe. But she has a passport and she can go anywhere she wants with him while she's still pregnant." I wasn't worried about Jill going anywhere while she's pregnant.

Jill gave birth to our son on January 23rd, a few weeks early. He is perfect. Jane helped Jill in the delivery room while Amy, Mom, Dad and I sat in the waiting room. Jill's mother Ann was also there. My son arrived without any complications.

I hadn't seen Ann since our wedding. Let me tell you about Ann. Jill is very, very good looking. A head turner. But she is outshined by her mother. Ann is about 5'8", thin with blond hair, light freckles, and green eyes. Jill looks just like her: same hair, eyes and build, but Ann is something else again. Ann is elegant and beautiful. She's about forty now but looks ten years younger. More like Jill's sister than her mother. She's also one of the sweetest, nicest, kindest people I've ever met. She was always welcoming and gracious to Amy and me when we were growing up. Ann helped get me through my early teenage years.

After they cleaned him up, I sat with my newborn son in a rocking chair in a room beside the nursery. After a while Jane came in. She said, "I apologize for my part in breaking up your marriage. I'm truly sorry it didn't work out. But It's for the best. Jill and I love each other. You don't want to be with someone who loves someone else." I didn't respond, so she asked, "Can I take the baby? Jill wants me to bond with him. When Jill is in her room, I'll take him to her."

I told her, "Fuck off." After a few seconds, she did.

When they settled Jill in her room, a nurse came to take my son to Jill. I walked by Jill's room and looked in. Jill was feeding the baby while Jane sat next to them on the bed. Jill and Jane were smiling and talking like two happy new parents. I asked the nurse, "When can I have my son back?"

"I'll bring the baby to you when he finished eating." She did. There is nothing like holding your baby and watching him sleep. I can do that forever.

When I arrived at the hospital the next morning, Jill was feeding our son. Jane was in the room with her. I asked the nurse, "When can I have my son?"

She said, "As soon as he's finished eating, I'll bring the boy to you." She went into the room and told Jill that I was outside.

Jill said, "Tell him to come in." Then she yelled, "Luke, come in. Jane was just leaving."

I went in. They needed the baby's name for the birth certificate. I stared at Jane until she got her bag and left. Jill and I decided on Steven for the baby's name. The nurse came in and told us that Jill and the baby will likely be released later that morning. As soon as her doctor gets there to sign the release paperwork. I left to fill out the paperwork for the birth certificate. Jane was sitting in the waiting area.

I called my mother to tell her the baby's name. They already knew. "Amy and I are on our way to the hospital to take Jill home. Now that you're a father, now that you have a son, have you finally come to your senses? Don't you want Jill and your new baby to come home with you? Amy, Ann and I will be there to help. We'll tell Jane to get lost. We'll bring her and the baby to you."

I repeated, "That's not happening. Jill's not coming home with me. Ever. Jane can have her."

I had to go into work but went to see Steven at Ann's after work. Mom and Jill sat nervously on each side of Steven and me on the couch while I held him. They were sure I'd drop the boy and were there to catch him. Jill sat across from us, staring at me like I stared at her in Jill's hospital room. Trying to get me to leave.

Jill asked if she and I could talk alone. Mom got up to go outside. She and Jill looked at Jane who reluctantly got up and left with my mother. Jill asked, "Are you ready to be a family. You will never have any reason to doubt my love for you again. I'll be the perfect wife and mother. That's all I want. I fucked up. I know that. But we have a son, a new life, and we should start our new life together. We can put all this nonsense behind us."

I was curious how Jill envisioned this fantasy family, our fantasy life together. I asked her, "Where does Jane fit in this new life we'd be starting?"

"Jane's just a friend now. Whatever happened between us in Guadalupe is over. Jane is talking about moving here and finding a job. Maybe your uncle can give her a job. Maybe she can help with the baby."

I said, "Maybe she could live with us."

Jill smiled from ear to ear and said, "That would be great. I was going to suggest that but I didn't know how you'd feel about Jane living with us. It would be the best arrangement. You don't have to worry about me and her. She could help with the baby and I could go back to teaching sooner. Jane will be a good friend to both of us. You'll see."

I started laughing. I couldn't help it. "Will Jane give me massages with happy endings too?" Jill was startled by that. I continued, "Jill, there's no new life we're starting together. You and I are divorcing. I will help support my son but not you. It's an at-fault state and you're at fault."

Jill was angry, "If you and I don't reconcile, Jane wants us to return to Guadalupe. I may do that. I was offered a job at the resort. I can work at the resort or I can earn a living teaching English. I can support myself and Steven there. With some help from you. The resort offers health insurance to employees so we'd be OK. I can get a work visa at the French consulate here in a couple of weeks. You really are leaving me no choice if we're not getting back together."

I thought, "If they really offered Jill a job with health benefits, she would be in Guadeloupe, not here."

Jill continued, "Can't you just get past your hurt ego and do the right thing? You will never regret having your family with you. We will all be happy. It's the best thing for our son, me and you. I know you still love me. I love you. You're the only one for me. If you still think Jane is a problem, I'll tell her to go back to Guadalupe." Jill looked at me hopefully.

I replied, "You can go wherever you want anytime you want. But my boy is staying here."

Jill, indignant, said, "You can't tell me what to do with my son. I'm his mother. Babies go with their mothers. Are you planning to kidnap the boy to keep me from taking him?"

"I don't need to kidnap him. He needs a passport to enter Guadalupe. To get a passport, we both have to sign the application. I won't sign. He's not going to the Caribbean."

Jill turned red and said, "You're lying. Infants don't need a passport. I have a passport. He'll be traveling with me. What are they going to do? Take my baby away from me at the airport in Guadalupe?"

"That's exactly what they'll do. They won't let him in without a passport. Talk to your lawyer or do some research."

Jill didn't say anything else but she was fuming. Ann walked in, returning from work, followed by Mom and Jane. Ann looked at Jill and me on the couch and asked, "What happened now?"

"We're discussing Steven and me moving back to Guadalupe."

"I see." Ann looked at me and asked, "You going too?"

"No, and neither is Steven."

Jill said, "Give him to me. I have to feed him." I got up to leave but told them I'd be back after work the next night.

I was back the following night. It was Ann's day off so she and Jane were cooking. Ann invited me to dinner. I said, "No, I can't stay that long. I just want to spend some time with Steven."

Ann said, "Don't eat but you can hold the baby at the table while the rest of us eat. If you get hungry, there's plenty."

I sat at the table with Jill, Jane and Ann, holding the baby. Ann put a plate full of food in front of me. I figured out how to hold Steven and still get some food in my mouth. Ann said to me, "Jill told me you work out every day. I need to do something. I'm turning to flab."

I bet you could go over every inch of Ann's body with a magnifying glass and not find a hint of flab.

I said, "Why don't you join a gym. It'll be good for you."

"I wouldn't know what to do."

"Every gym has trainers who could help you figure out how to accomplish what you want and plan your routine."

"What gym do you go to?" I told her. "I know where that is. It's close by. When do you work out?"

"I go before work on weekdays. I'm there between 6 and 6:30. I have to be at work by 9am so I exercise, shower, dress and go to work. Weekends, I go a little later."

Ann asked, "I'm off tomorrow. If I can get there by like 7 tomorrow morning, can you take a few minutes and show me around. Show me what to do?"

"Sure, we can work out some together if you want."

"I'd love that."

I mentioned earlier that Ann helped get me through my early teen years. Let me explain. At twelve and thirteen and even as I got older, I lusted after Ann. I jerk off in the shower. In those days, thinking of Ann, I would shower two or three times a day. Once during the summer, I must have been thirteen, Mom sent me over to Ann's to fetch Amy. Ann was off work and she, Amy and Jill were sunbathing in her back yard. Amy and Jill were in bikini's lying on towels on the grass. Amy and Jill were beginning to bloom. I had caught glimpses of them in various stages of undress, watching their progress, but they didn't interest me. I only had eyes for Ann.

Ann was lying on a fold-up beach lounge chair wearing a more modest two-piece bathing suit. When I came into the yard to get Jill and Amy, she got out of the chair. As she got up, her bathing suit bottom pulled down so I could see about four inches of her butt crack. The bottom of her suit also pulled up so I could see some of the bottom of both her butt cheeks, above her tan line. She adjusted her suit but not quick enough. I yelled to Amy that Mom wanted her and raced back home to get in the shower. Ann's butt was all I could think about for days.

A few days later I was down to four showers a day. Ann's butt was that important to me. Mom stopped me as I came out of the bathroom and said, "You're using too much water. There's never any hot water." Then, chuckling, Mom asked, "Aren't you afraid it might fall off? Stay out of the shower. You have to figure out some other way. Our water bill is through the roof. If you're daydreaming about Jill, maybe if you're nice to her she'll give you a hand in a few years. But for now, you have to figure something else out."

Jill? That's the first time I thought about Jill in a sexual way. Up until then, she was just another nuisance. But I wasn't interested in Jill. In all the fantasies I had about Ann, I never had her give me a hand. How had I not thought of that? I turned and jumped back into the shower. Blame my mother for the water bill.

Ann arrived at the gym the next morning just before 7. She took off her coat and looked around for me. She was wearing the skintight gym pants that girls wear and a halter top under a singlet. God, she looked good. Everyone looked at her. A new attraction at the gym. I went up to her and she hugged me hello. If she had hugged me like that when I was thirteen or fourteen, I probably would have come in my pants. At twenty-four, I was glad I was wearing enough under my gym shorts that, hopefully, she couldn't feel me poking her. I did wonder if I could get away with it in the gym shower. But I quickly put that out of my mind. I wasn't fourteen anymore. I would never do that. At the gym.

It took a few minutes for her to fill out the forms to get her gym membership. I told the woman at the desk that I would show Ann around. I introduced her to a few of the guys I'm hang out with at the gym. They looked back and forth between Ann and me stunned. Ann smiled and shook their hands. They smiled back, tongue tied. I told her she could hang her coat in the locker room. She went to do that and one of them asked me, "She's gorgeous. Where'd you meet her."

"She was my neighbor growing up. She's the mother of my soon to be ex-wife."

He starred at me, "Did you marry someone who's five? How could she be the mother of someone your age?"

I shrugged and smiled, "Good genes?"

He continued, "Yeah, real good. I'd stay married just so I could continue to see her. How come I didn't have any neighbors who looked like her?"

Ann and I talked about what she wants to accomplish at the gym. A toned body, get rid of the flab. We walked around the gym and I showed her the equipment and explained what they were for. We did a light workout. Another hug before she left and I went to shower.

I went again that night to visit with Steven. I found Ann and Jane flexing their biceps, comparing their muscles. Ann said, "I want to look like her," motioning to Jane. Jill, feeding the baby on the couch, rolled her eyes.

Jane is a girly girl, there's nothing masculine about her, but she's pretty ripped. She's seen the inside of a gym more than once. I hoped that Ann wouldn't invite Jane to work out with us. Just what I needed.

The next day was Saturday. Ann said, "I have to be at work tomorrow morning at 11. But I'd like to work out again. I need to be out of there by around 9 to get to work on time. Can you meet me tomorrow morning at 7 or so?"

"I'll be there at 7."

We worked out Saturday and agreed to meet again Sunday morning. If the weather is at all decent, Sundays I work out and then meet my father and uncle for nine or eighteen holes of golf. Mondays I skip the gym. After our workout on Sunday, Ann said, "You have to work tomorrow so we have to meet earlier, right? About 6:30?"

If Ann wants to work out, so do I, "Sounds good. See you then." Ann hugged me and left. If we kept this up, I'd have to start going home to shower.

Monday morning, Ann said, "I'm pretty sore. All over. And stiff. But I want to do something. Try to get rid of the stiffness. Is there a light workout we can do?"

"How about we get on the treadmill. We can just walk, take it slow. You up for that?" She nodded and we got on side-by-side treadmills.

Ann figured out a pace that was comfortable for her. I asked, "Why didn't you get married again? There must have been lots of guys interested."

"I've gone out some since Greg. Not a lot. I had a daughter to raise. Nobody ever clicked. My marriage was miserable so I guess I'm reluctant to try again. Couldn't find anyone who seemed interesting enough to try with." Greg is Ann's ex-husband.

I asked, "Do you ever hear from Greg?"

"Not in years. Jill hasn't heard from him either. Good riddance. A friend of my boss is Greg's cousin so my boss keeps me updated on what she hears about him from the cousin. Not that I care. He married again and has two kids. I thought he was drinking because he was so miserable being with me. More than once, I thought about getting plastered myself because I was so miserable with him. But someone had to be sober for Jill. Anyway, he's still drinking. So he wasn't drinking because of me. He doesn't need an excuse. He drinks because he's a drunk."

We were silent for a while, walking on the treadmill. Ann finally asked, "What's going to happen with you and Jill?" She looked over at me.

I knew Ann and I would have this conversation sooner or later. "We're going to divorce. I'll be there for Steven and I guess that means Jill and I will have to have some contact but there's no way Jill and I are going to be together."

"Jane's trying to convince her to go back to Guadeloupe with the baby."

"She can't take the boy without my consent. Jill can go do what she wants but she can't take Steven anywhere where he needs a passport. He can't get one unless I agree to it."

"OK, that's good to know. I was worried about not being able to see my grandson grow up." Ann didn't say anything for a while and then continued, "I'm not the person anyone should take marital advice from. I compounded the horrible mistake of getting pregnant when I was fifteen by marrying Greg. I have my parents to thank for that. But I was happy when you and Jill got together in high school. I always thought you were smart and basically just a nice kid. A good guy with a big heart. Also a little weird. Especially when you were in your teens. You'd never look at me directly but you were always looking at me sideways. Strange. I thought maybe there was something wrong with your eyes."

I laughed, "Maybe someday, when you're older, I'll explain all that to you."

"How much older do I have to be. I'm already old enough to be your mother."

"Maybe someday when I'm older then."

Ann continued, "When Jill told me that you were getting married, I thought you were too young. But you two were so much in love I thought you would make it work. I'm not a real fan of marriage. Mine didn't go so well. So I'm not someone you should listen to about marriage."

Ann paused and looked over at me, I guess thinking if she should continue. I said, "If you're going to join my mother and sister in their 'forgive and forget' chorus, save your breath. That's not going to happen."

I guess Ann decided to give me advice, "Jane is a caring, giving, sweet girl. But you'll never see that side of her. You'll only see the calculating, manipulative, nasty girl she becomes around you. You are a threat to what she wants. Jill. But it's not one sided. If you take Jill back, Jane will be a part of your life, a part of your marriage. Jane is not going away. Even if she wanted to, Jill won't let her.

"They planned for Jill to return home in time to begin the school year. Jill figured it would take a while before you and she reconciled. You'd be angry and it would take some work, but Jill never doubted that you'd take her back. Having Jane around would make the reconciliation process with you more difficult. So they planned to delay Jane's arrival until you and Jill were together living happily ever after. Things didn't go as planned, you weren't cooperating, so Jill had Jane come to make you jealous. Jill's original plan was that you and she would reconcile and Jane would stick around as Jill's BFF. I think that's still Jill's plan."

Ann continued, "When Jill arrived home, I thought she was over Jane and wanted to return to you and her marriage. I was wrong. Jill never got over Jane. She wants you and married life but she also wants Jane. They're still lovers."

"My mother said they were sleeping in separate rooms. That their romance was over."

"Jill may have told her that but Jill spent part of her first paycheck on a double bed for her room. She purchased the double bed just before Jane arrived. They sleep in that double bed together. If you take Jill back, you also get Jane. She'll be a fixture in your marriage."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you deserve to know. I spent over a decade in a loveless, miserable marriage. I think Jill loves you but your marriage to Jill will be miserable. Jane will be there to make sure of that. Jane wants to take Jill and the baby back to Guadeloupe. But even if she can't do that, her plans don't include you. I told you before that I thought Jill returned because she was over Jane. Living with them, it's clear to me that their bond is much stronger than I thought. Even if Jane were to somehow go away, disappear into thin air, she would always be hanging over your marriage.

"I'm telling you this because I think you and Jill will be miserable together. I think Jill and Jane will be happy together. They love each other. You and Jill getting back together will just delay your inevitable divorce. You say you're not taking Jill back. I think you made the right decision. For you, for the baby and for Jill.

"Let me tell you a story. This happened right before Jill's Christmas break. Jill was pretty big by then and very uncomfortable being pregnant. It was my day off and Jill came home from teaching to find Jane and me together in the kitchen."

Ann paused to drink some water. I thought, "Jane was with Ann too? I have enough trouble trying to unsee Jill eating Jane out on the beach. Now I have to think about Ann and Jane together? Who's next for Jane? My sister? My mother? The neighbor ladies?"

I was stunned and looked over at Ann. Ann put her water bottle back and looked at me. She must have seen the shock on my face because she looked puzzled. Then she realized what I was thinking. Laughing, she said, "Not that. We were cooking dinner. I was stirring a pot, trying to get the contents to thicken. It wasn't happening and Jane came over to the stove. We were standing together at the stove looking in this pot, trying to figure out how to get this stuff to congeal, when Jill came in the kitchen and said, 'Is this a new kind of motherly love, Mom? You fucking Jane now?' Jane and I didn't hear Jill come in so we were startled and jumped when we heard Jill. Jill took our being startled as proof Jane and I were up to something. We were acting guilty. Jill said to Jane, 'I'm big and fat and ugly so you've moved on. And with my mother? Have you given my mother your special message yet?' And to me, 'Mom, it will be a massage you'll never forget.' Jill started to cry. 'How can you do this to me?'

"Jane cooly leaned back against the kitchen counter, crossed her arms and said, 'Ann is hot. If there was no you, no Jill, I'd be doing everything I can to get in your mother's pants.' Jane looked at me and said, 'Sorry Ann, but that's true. If things were different, I'd love to make love to you.' Jane looked back at Jill, 'But there is a you. I love you. I think you're beautiful just as you are. I always think you're beautiful. I have you and you have me. We don't need anyone else.' Jane opened her arms and held them open until Jill eventually walked over and into them.

"I'm telling you this because I want you to put yourself in Jane's place. Instead of Jane, you and I are in the kitchen when Jill walks in. Do you think Jill would have the same reaction? She'd never think that you and I are hooking up. If she caught you and me hooking up, she'd be angry, upset, whatever. Probably more with me than you. But she'd just end up using it against you. She'd come up with something like you've both strayed so now you're even. That's not how things would go if Jill caught me with Jane. There would be blood on the floor.

"I think Jill loves you and wants to remain married but she'll always be thinking of Jane, always worried about Jane, always wanting Jane. Jane will always be a part of your marriage. You'll always share Jill with Jane. I wish that weren't true. I wish you guys could have the fairytale marriage I hoped you'd have. But you won't."

Ann turned to me to see my reaction. I said, "I couldn't agree more. But it doesn't matter. Even if Jane was out of the picture, I wouldn't take a cheater back."

Neither of us said anything for a while. Ann smiled shyly and asked, "What so special about Jane's massage?"

I laughed, "It's a massage with a happy ending. Jill told me that Jane's not that great at massage but she told my sister Jane is the champion of happy endings. I bet I'm better at giving massages than Jane. I'm not sure about happy endings."

Ann smiled at me and asked, "Have you had a lot of complaints?"

"None so far. But I'm waiting for an objective evaluation of my abilities." Where was this going?

Ann looked at me, studying my face, thinking. "I'm tired. Can we get off the treadmill. Maybe have a protein shake." The gym sells sports drinks, protein bars and shakes. We bought two shakes and sat down in the lounge area. Ann said, "You know I've never seen your house. All the pre-wedding stuff was at my house or your parents. I'd like to see your place. You're pretty close to here, right?"

"I can show it to you now. I can shower at home and go to work from there."

Ann looked at her watch. "It's almost 8. You won't have time show me your home and get ready in time to be at work by 9."

I thought about what I had to do at work that day. Nothing that couldn't wait. "Actually, I'm not feeling so good. Maybe I'll call in sick. I'll probably need someone to nurse me back to health."

Ann put her hand on top of mine, "Are you sure you and Jill done?"

"I'm certain."

Ann smiled, "I won't tell Jill if you don't."

I smiled back, doing my best to look confused, "Who's Jill?"

Ann followed me back to my place. She also eventually called in sick. I gave her a massage with a happy ending. She made no complaints. We spent the day in bed together, nursing each other back to health. I was right. There is no flab anywhere on Ann's body. I know because I kissed every inch of it. Every fantasy I ever had about Ann didn't come close to matching reality. I insisted we take a shower together. Ann gave me a hand in the shower. Then I gave her a hand.

Around 7pm, Ann started to get anxious. "I think I should get home at my normal time. The problem is I didn't go home to shower and change after the gym this morning. I have nothing but gym clothes to wear home now. Jill will know I wasn't at work."

"Let's get dressed and buy you some clothes. You can tell them you showered and changed at the gym this morning." Ann kissed me and jumped out of bed. "Great idea! Do you have something I can wear to the store. My gym clothes are pretty smelly."

"Do we have time for another shower?"

"You really are weird. You need another shower?"

"There's something about you that makes me want to shower. Shower with you."

"Why? Do you think what we're doing is dirty? Or I'm dirty?"

"Not exactly. I just enjoy taking showers with you."

Ann drove. I didn't want our day together to end so I went with her. Ann kept glancing at me, waiting for me to say something. I didn't want this to be a one-time thing. What did Ann want? "I think we should start going to the gym after work."

"How come?"

"I want to keep seeing you. I can't afford to take off work every day. Neither can you. So we'll go to the gym after work. You can tell Jill we're doing very long workouts. I'll start visiting Steven in the morning. Before work. Jill and Jane will be there but so will you. What do you think?"

Ann looked at me and smiled. Her radiant, glowing, beautiful smile, "You want to keep seeing me?"

It took Jane two days to figure out that Ann and I were hooking up. Ann told me later that Jill didn't believe it until Ann admitted it. Ann was right. Jill believed Jane and Ann could be hooking up but not that it was possible Ann and I were. I went to see Steven in the morning to find Jill, Jane and Ann sitting in their living room waiting for me.

Ann said to me, "They know. Jane figured it out. The four of us need to talk."

"OK, but I can't talk now. I have to get to work. I'll come by after work. Jane doesn't need to be a part of this. Just you, Jill and me."

Jane started to get up from her chair and say something. Ann put out her hand to stop her and said, "Jane is as much a part of this as the rest of us. She's going to be here. We can't sort this out without her. She's a part of Jill's life so she's a part of my life and yours and the baby's. Tonight's fine. I'm off work today so I'll be here. Come right from work."

I held the baby and fed him with a bottle. Jill was furious, too angry to talk or even look at me. Jane was amused by my discomfort. Ann kept looking back and forth between me and Jill, worried. I left and spent the day trying to figure out how to get out of this meeting. I couldn't come up with an excuse.

When I arrived after work, they were sitting where they were that morning. Like they'd never gotten up. But the baby was asleep in his crib. Ann started, "I'm going to talk and none of you are going to interrupt me. When I'm done, the rest of you can have your say." She looked at each of us. Jill was still furious, Jane was no longer amused and I just wanted out of there. But, one by one, we all nodded.

"Luke and I are sleeping together. Luke says he wants to keep seeing me and I'm going to continue to sleep with him as long as he hasn't changed his mind about that." Jill started to say something but Ann stopped her, "You'll have your turn when I'm finished but Luke can interrupt if he has something to say. Something like, 'I'm haven't changed my mind.'" Everyone looked at me.

"I'm never going to change my mind."

Ann smiled at me and continued, "OK, since we got that out of the way. Luke and I are sleeping together and we're going to keep doing it. I know what you're going to say, Jill. He's your husband, you love him, you want to reconcile. I'm in the way of that if Luke and I are sleeping together. But your marriage was over the minute you met Jane. You know that. We all know that. You like the stability that Luke gives you. You like the idea of being married to Luke. But you want the thrill of being with Jane. So be with Jane. I've watched the two of you together for months now. I think you two are great together. You love each other. Jill, get your divorce and marry Jane. You'd be miserable with Luke. He'd be miserable with you. I was in a miserable marriage. There is nothing that justifies remaining in a miserable relationship.

"You're also going to tell me I'm too old for Luke. He's too young for me. That's probably true, I'm sixteen years older than he is. But that's for us to work out and is no one else's business. Right now we're just having fun. We'll see where it goes and worry about the rest later.

"So the four of us are a family. Because of Steven and because of our ties to each other." Ann looked at me, "Luke, Jill and Jane are going to be together. Get over it for Steven's sake." She looked at Jill, "Jill, you and Luke are going to divorce. Get over it for Steven's sake. And Luke is going to continue to sleep with your mother. Please get over it for my sake." Ann looked at Jane, "Jane, you have no reason to be nasty to Luke. He's done nothing to you. Show him the sweet, kind, giving person that Jill loves and I've come to know. If you're going to be part of this family, understand that that family includes Luke. Luke, understand that Jane is going to be part of this family too."

Ann looked around. We all looked at each other. No one had anything to say. The baby woke up and started to cry. Jane said, "I'll get him." Jill got up to heat a bottle. Jane came back a few minutes later carrying Steven and said to me, "I changed his diaper. Do you want to feed him?" I took him and Jill gave me a heated bottle.

When I was ready to leave, I hesitated, thought about it, hesitated some more but finally went over to kiss Ann goodbye. "Do you want to come home with me? We can spend the night together. I have to work tomorrow, you don't, so you have to let me get some sleep. But I don't need much sleep."

Ann said, "Let me throw a few things in a bag," got up and went to her room. Jill was holding the baby, Jane next to her but they both stared at me. Jill wasn't pleased. Jane was.

This "family" meeting took place about a month ago. We aren't a family but we're cordial to each other. We're tied to each other because of Steven and Ann. I'll never forgive Jill. She's a lying, manipulative cheater. I'll never be Jane's buddy. But I'll have to deal with them until Steven's grown. It's easier if we're all civil.

Our divorce is in process. Jill and I came to an agreement about custody, visits and child support. We've both been unfaithful so the infidelity stuff is a wash. Jill keeps what she brought to the marriage and so do I. We're just waiting for a judge to sign off on it.

Ann told me last week that Jill applied for and received a work visa for Guadeloupe. To get the visa, she needed an employment letter which the resort where she and I stayed at supplied. Ann was very concerned, "You said she can't take Steven. What are they up to?"

"Maybe she wants to be with Jane in paradise. Maybe that's more important to her than Steven. Or maybe she's figured out a way to sneak him in."

"I think Jane has dual citizenship, France and here. Maybe they'll tell them Steven is Jane's child."

"They still need paperwork. A birth certificate or something. I'll call my lawyer tomorrow."

"What do we do if they run off and leave Steven?"

"I'll raise him."

Ann sat on my lap and said, "I'll help."

I called my lawyer the next day. "No, Jane can't say Steven is hers and get him in without documentation. At least a birth certificate with her as the mother. And Steven still needs a passport. I'll let the judge know that Jill is making plans to return to the Caribbean. If Jill and Steven turn up missing, we'll alert the authorities. They can't just take him. Keep track of them."

Jill told my mother about Ann and me as soon as she found out. Mom's reaction was predictable. "What are you doing with someone who's old enough to be your mother. Have you lost your mind? Jill is furious. If you don't stop this, Jill will run off with Jane. Ann's my age for heaven's sake."

I calmly pointed out, "Ann is more than ten years younger than you and Dad. But her age doesn't matter to me. We enjoy each other's company and, as long as we do, we're going to be together." Dad is not going to object to Ann and me. I used to catch him gazing at Ann. Along with all the other neighborhood dads. And their sons.

Mom also called Ann, "What the hell are you doing with my son? You're a cradle robber."

Ann told me about the phone call, "I agreed with everything your mom said. She's right. I am too old for you. I am a cradle robber."

"If you were after Steven, you'd be a cradle robber. I haven't been in a cradle for years. Forget about what my mother thinks. Let's just go fuck. Or do you want to eat dinner first."

"No, let's fuck first."

"Do you need help getting up and walking to bed. You being a senior citizen and all, maybe we should buy you a walker. Maybe start stocking up on adult diapers."

"No, but you can carry me, smartass." She put her arms out so I could pick her up.

I slung her over my shoulder and gave her a light slap on her ass, "My pleasure, Grandma."

Ann spends almost every night at my place. We don't have the same days off but we see each other as much as possible. We're still having fun, as Ann puts it, but it's becoming more than fun and we're trying to work out what we want. Ann keeps saying, "Our age difference is too big a problem. Relationships are difficult for me. Even if they weren't, I can't be in a relationship with someone half my age." We were going around in circles about this. Not constantly but too much.

Finally, I told her, "You told me I had to get over Jill being with Jane. That Jill had to get over that she and I are divorcing and that you and I are sleeping together. Now you have to get over our age difference and your insecurities about relationships. I'm happy being with you. If you're happy, that's all that matters. What my mother thinks doesn't matter. Your age certainly doesn't matter." Ann shrugged, we kissed and went to the gym. But we don't talk about our age difference anymore.

I eventually told Ann about how she helped me get through my teen years. "There was nothing wrong with my eyes. I just couldn't take them off you but I didn't want to creep you out. Thanks to you, I was probably the cleanest boy in the neighborhood. I still fantasize about you."

Ann was flattered and amused by this, "That's why you keep pulling me into the shower? What were your fantasies?"

"Some are too gross to tell you. Some I don't think are physically possible. Some we've done."

"Do I measure up?"

"You're better in real life than any fantasy."

"Maybe we can do some of them. What are they?"

"Well, maybe I'll tell you after we've done them." So Ann and I have been working on my teenage fantasies. Since I still spend a lot of time fantasizing about Ann, we always have new adult ones to try too.

We also have Ann's fantasies to try. And she said I was weird. But I'm up for anything Ann wants to do. Well, almost anything. I went along with her wanting to have sex in a public place. We agreed on a restaurant men's room. That was a better compromise than the men's sauna at the gym or the local park.

Sometimes I think Ann's suggestions are more about what she thinks I want to do than what she wants. That fulfilling her fantasies are more about fulfilling my fantasies. Sometimes her ideas are so out there that I think she's trying to shock me or test me or that she's just goofing on me. Like suggesting we have sex in the men's sauna. Or in my old bedroom at my parents' or in their shower where most of my fantasizing about Ann took place.

I once asked her if she's serious about of her fantasies. She laughed and said, "Of course. Why would I suggest something for us to do if I didn't want to do it?" Ann may be forty, a grandmother, and sixteen years older than me, but she told me that her sexual fantasies and desires are more intense now than they've ever been. And I'm the lucky guy trying to keep up with her.