Now Is too Late... Im Hers Forever..

Now it is too late... I'm hers forever...

... and I love not having a say in it.

I meet her on a sissy site. I had been, for over a decade, going deeper every day into the sissy rabbit hole, eager to find the one who would break me--and it finally happened. She discovered my weakness soon. I'm addicted to getting high and becoming so mindless that I ignore the consequences, seeking people to abuse me online. When high, I not only consent but cooperate with anyone willing to make me their sissy sex slave by force. Yes, I need a strong person to take control away from me and force me, against my will, to be whatever she wants me to be without considering my opinion. I have such a desire to lose control because after so many years of brainwashing myself with the worst sissy hypnosis, I do not merely desire but need to be totally dehumanized and become the most extreme sissy fucktoy and public cumdump. And when sober, common sense makes me want to run from my fate. But when high and so horny, I don't even consider the consequences.

She didn't ask for permission.

She didn't ask for consent.

She didn't care about my opinion.

She didn't care for my human rights.

But she cared about my feelings and wanted me to enjoy my destruction as both human and a molding, extreme sissy fucktoy slave. And I could not be more grateful to her.

She knew my secret, and even before I knew it, she realized that if I were high enough, my fantasy of being raped and forced into a life of sexual slavery against my will was not merely a fantasy--it was a craving so strong that I could not help myself when high enough. So she took advantage of me being high the day after we met. While in that state, she acquired blackmail power and totally took control of me. She knew I would consent and cooperate to anything as extreme and abusive as possible while high. She made me consent to an almost infinite list of abusive techniques that I signed without reading, and to be totally stripped of free will and rights--forced, broken, and turned into a sex slave. She obtained my GPS location, address book, and all the degrading and humiliating pictures and videos I willingly sent her.

The first thing she did was send a transgender sex worker to physically dominate, demean, and doll me up. She told me that she was going to dress me and roughly fuck me; she lied, and I couldn't be more grateful to her. She paid the transgender sex worker to shave me, dress me as a total hook/tripper in the sexiest, most degrading clothes, apply my makeup, and tie me down in BDSM furniture, saying she was going to fuck me senselessly. I was high as fuck, so I didn't even think about it. I had an extreme desire to be raped by a transgender woman--with no safeword, no consent, and no regard for my humanity. And she did. I won't lie: I enjoyed every second of it. I also enjoyed that my mistress was watching it live through a webcam and recording it--something I wasn't ready for. But what happened next was even more intense: after the sex worker came and cumed on my ass, while his cum was still dripping and I was sobering up and regaining my common sense, a black naked male entered the room. I panicked and started to scream for help. But it was no use--I didn't realize it at the time because I was so high, but I was taken to an insulated basement... no one would hear me. Without a second or even looking at me, he tied me to the furniture and, unable to move, began ramming his monstrous BBC into my ass. The extreme pain made me stop screaming; I was left speechless, broken for her. I was crying but not trying to call for help--I realized I had no choice. Choice was an illusion; my path had been chosen long ago, and only now was I beginning to understand it. I felt used, abused, and disgusted, and I wanted to die... but at the same time, I was so horny and felt such fulfillment in being used like that.

"Only when you let go of any hope can you find salvation."

The sex worker showed me videos of how he and his black pimp caught weak beta whitebois, forcibly feminized them, and used them in the most extreme, barely legal porn as real sex slaves. He showed me how they even tried to castrate their slaves and feed them hormones to make sissy femboys--not women, not men, but mere sexual objects deprived of any ability to disobey their master.

I saw my fate and surrendered, accepting it. I said, "Please, go on. I won't resist." I was totally broken.

Then the sex worker showed me the phone that was livestreaming to my mistress, and she watched the screen. With the sweetest voice, she said:

"I love to see you broken, finally, just as you asked online. Now, I will accept you as my TPE sissy sex slave. Do you want to?"

Desperation turned into ecstasy as I replied, "Yes, yes, one million times yes, my mistress."

She smiled and told me that all those videos were taken from the deep web, and although they were kinky, they would be done for money--not by command. She assured me that I wouldn't be castrated, feminized, or end up as a sex slave... Instead, I would be her live-in sissy sex slave, to be loved and cared for while being abused as much as I required. With tears of joy in my eyes, I said, "Thanks, my mistress... but can you do it to me for real? Can you castrate me, feed me hormones, and make me a no-limit sex slave with no say in what or who uses my holes?" She asked, "Are you sure?" and I replied, "YES! I only beg you to keep me high until it's too late." She smiled and said, "Of course, I will make sure you enjoy it. I have always dreamed of owning a slave so broken and so kinky that they willingly consent to this extreme abuse. I really need you to enjoy it, you know." I started crying with happiness and even asked her to marry me--and she said yes!

The next day, I was still cross-dressed when I was instructed to go to a truck stop, where a truck driver would take me to Germany in exchange for using me as a sex toy. But not without my mistress taking great care to place an insulin pump filled with amphetamines in my waist, ensuring I remained mindless, horny, and enjoying every moment. I arrived at the truck stop willingly, high, and the truck driver grabbed my femininely cross-dressed body with disgusting, humiliating machismo and threw me into the copilot seat. He unzipped his pants and, without any discussion, I knew what I had to do. I started sucking his dick as we began our trip to Germany. At every truck stop, he took me to the bathrooms, and in a dirty frenzy, tied me up and forced all the truck drivers to gangbang me. I enjoyed every stop so much that the trip to Germany seemed like mere minutes.

When I reached my mistress's house and saw her, I began to shiver with emotion. Everything was ready--a veterinarian was on standby to castrate me, administer hormones, etc. She asked, "Are you sure?" and I replied, "Yes."

In the following months, I was confined in her dungeon, while people from the BDSM German scene came to use me, all while I was pumped with hormones and speed. She took control of my FetLife account and made me popular. When I wasn't being used by other guys or by her (she loved to fuck me with strap-ons, bigger every time), I was tied up with a VR headset and subjected to the most extreme hypnosis and brainwashing. Every Monday, she got me sober and asked if I still wanted this, and every Monday, I replied, "For you, it is a pleasure to lose my manhood."

Before I realized it, I had become a sissy girl, similar to "Ella Hollywood"--almost nothing, extremely skinny and weak, with waif-like curves, an awesome ass, and smooth, silky skin. My dick remained intact and functional, but it was locked in chastity and only released when someone, especially my mistress, chose to enjoy it. My pleasure was insignificant; she knew that being used like this brought me more pleasure than I could ever have imagined. My cock could still become erect thanks to testosterone patches, since my castrated balls produced none. In my spare time, I loved looking in the mirror and seeing my sissy girl body with a still decent-sized cock and no balls.

We eventually married, and I became the most popular girl in the German BDSM scene, spending 24/7 with my mistress while being used in BDSM clubs and other settings. We were happy ever after.