The Feast of The Tail Ch. 15

Isis and Nefertiti lay together in bed, holding hands, their heads resting against one another, under the tapestry of stars.

"My grandmother used to say," Nefitiri began wistfully, "that the stars were woven by the goddess Neith, and in that silver river of light and shadow there lies a mirror which shows us our destiny, and the destiny of the whole world. I would lie under the stars with her as a little girl, in Sau, before we moved to Waset."

Isis leaned in to her, inhaling the scent of jasmine that lingered around Nefitiri. She twirled the colourful beads of her wig as she listened.

"Iusaaset was her name, like the goddess of the acacia, the tree of life. She would tell me stories passed down to her from her grandmother, stories they don't teach you in the scriptorium or the temple, stories about the days before the first dynasty when the goddesses were the elder gods who reigned on high. Her stories are the reason I became a priestess."

"Which stories did she tell you? Stories about Netjer Isis?"

"No." Nefertiri smiled at her friend, her eyes twinkling. "Stories of the grandmothers of the gods, from before Isis was even born."

"Before Isis?" Isis cried in shock.

"Even Isis was born from another," Nefertiri fixed her gaze on her, sitting up again. "she was born to Geb and Nut, child of the earth and the night sky. And they were born to Shu and Tefnut. And before them--"

"Was Ra." Isis interrupted, sitting up as well and folding her arms. "Or Atum in Iunu, or Amun in Waset, or Ptah in Mennefer. I do know the histories."

"Yes. In Iunu, the city of the Pillars, which is one of the oldest cities in Ta Meri, Iusaaset is wife of Atum, but my grandmother said she was watered down by our historians. And that's what I'm trying to tell you. It's what she taught me. That before the Two Lands were united, the Lady of Heaven was worshipped as the Great One. In Sau, in Iunu, in Nekhen, in Mennefer - all over Egypt. She had different names, but she was one. The Lady of Heaven, the one whose names are many, whose face us unknown, whose veil has never been lifted. That's why when the gods cannot decide who shall rule, Horus or Set, it is Neith - their elder, grandmother of them all, who decides. She has the final say."

"I don't remember that bit." Isis admitted.

"It is written." Nefi assured her. "Go read the temple walls. I think the priests like leaving it out when they're giving their speeches. But it is written. In Iunet, Ta Senet, and in Sau you can see it written on the columns of the temple of Neith."

"What does it say?"

"It says: I am all that is, and has been, and shall be. I am she who brought forth the sun. I weave the world upon my loom. I am the Great Flood. The sun dies into me at night and is born from my waters in the morning. I am the Goddess of Death, I am the Goddess of Birth. I am the Womb, and all is within me. Your life is given to me, and I have given you life. I am the destroyer and the creator. All things, all forms, all gods, all mortals, and all that has been named dwells within my darkness, and I have given them light."

Isis was thunderstruck. She was fascinated. She was inspired. It was as though Nefertiri had held up a mirror that showed Isis her own soul and all it's parts, and though she had never seen it before she recognised it. Of course she recognised it. Because they were her own words. Her own thoughts. Her own soul. But it was as though she was seeing them for the first time. Understanding washed over her, and yet she was confused. She was full of questions.

"Those words, Nefi, they're so wonderful. But wait, I don't understand -- why did you become a Priestess of Isis? Why not Neith?"

"They're the same to me. They're two faces of the same goddess, two names of my Lady who has a million names and infinite forms. When I moved to Waset I knew I wanted to devote myself to the Lady of Heaven. I had grown up wanting to become a priestess of Neith, but there was no temple for her here. I asked her for a sign, and she sent one. It led me to Netjer Isis, and it led me to you." Nefi turned and looked at Isis, she smiled, and blushed. "I'm glad. I'm grateful to have met you. You're my best friend."

"You're my best friend, too." Isis smiled back and reached out a hand to cup her face.

Nefitiri leaned into her touch. Then, taking Isis' hand in her own she pulled it into her lap and began playing with her fingers, fingering her gold rings and running her hands over her skin, her fingernails, exploring all the creases of her palm.

"So why did you become a priestess?" she asked Isis.

"It was expected, I suppose. My mother is God's Wife of Amun, and maybe one day Sitamun or I will have to fulfil that role. Maybe it's predictable of me, but I thought if I must choose a patron why not choose the one I'm named for? It made sense." Isis begun to lace her fingers between Nefitiri's, so they were palm to palm. Then she let go. "But maybe it's more than that. A feeling. Something... I wanted to know. I had questions... so many questions. Even as a girl I would ask the priests why this and why that. They didn't have enough answers to satisfy me. Even my father, the High Priest of every temple, even he couldn't answer all my questions. I want to know what I am. I want to know why we're here. I want to know everything. I want to meet the gods, and I want to look in their eyes and ask them, what is magic? How does it work? How did it come to be? Tell me everything."

"I know what you mean." Nefi stretched out over the bed, and lay back with her arms folded behind her head. "I always felt like I was missing something... a part of the story. My grandmother, she was the only one whose stories spoke to my heart. All the rest seemed to have something missing. Everywhere in the Two Lands they have a different god, a different temple, but there must be a truth behind it all. The priests in the Old Kingdom tried to unite the land with the same story, the story of creation with the Ennead. But it never made sense to me. I mean, the idea of it baffles me. Speaking the world and thinking the world into existence is compelling. But a god masturbating the world into existence? Sounds stupid to me. But a goddess giving birth? It fits. To me it always fit the most. You see it every day. My brother kept a lizard, a female, he had her since she hatched, and she was kept away from males her whole life. And one day she laid an egg. If the world was a cosmic egg, it can only have been laid by a female. And that's the truth behind all these traditions, that the first one, the first god to give birth to all the others, must be a goddess."

"Hmm. It reminds me of my dream." Isis lay back and looked up at the stars again. "You remember the one I told you?"

"I remember."

"Hatshepsut appeared in my dream, and she said that the men who reigned after her erased her name, and she warned me that they would do the same to me. She said they didn't want it known that a woman could be a Pharaoh, and a good one too. But I don't understand why. We honour women in Egypt, and the women of my family are the most powerful in the world. And yet it is the men of my family who removed her from the list of kings." Isis sighed. "I mean, her Temple of Eternity still stands, the walls still show her as divine, and as Pharaoh. She is not forgotten, and I am glad. But I'm angry that she isn't in the list of kings... I don't know why it troubles me so much, I am not her descendant. She is the wife of the father of my father's father's father." Isis laughed, "Is that right? Gods that's a mouthful. She only had one child, you know. A daughter, Neferura. But she did not become Pharaoh, of course. Djhutmose the third, Hatshepsut's half brother succeeded her in the end. So we aren't even related, and yet in my dreams, she is there. She protects me. She guides me. Just like Netjer Isis."

"What happened to the daughter?"

"I don't know. My father doesn't like speaking about Hatshepsut. Maybe he doesn't know himself."

"Maybe you could ask your mother."

"Maybe. Or maybe my father's mother. She might know."

"At the Heb Sed," Nefi began, "before we went to the river I was talking to one of the Mitanni princesses. She told me that they call Neith by another name, they call her Ishtar, Innana and Astarte."

Isis hummed, "They sound nice The names feel good in the mouth."

"They're goddesses of love and war." Like you. "Isis, do you ever think about ruling? What if--" Nefitiri regarded her carefully, trying to read any change in her expression. "What if you were Pharaoh?"

"How could it ever happen? There is Djhuti, he is destined to rule. I would never think of taking that from him, it's what he was born for. And even if he weren't here," she said, suddenly feeling a pang of sadness, pain at the thought of a life without her beloved brother, "there is Amenhotep, and even Sitamun. She is older than me. So much would have to happen for the throne to become my destiny."

"Yes, but do you ever think of it? Think of yourself becoming a living God? The one who stands between mortals and the Neteru?"

"Of course I do." Isis admitted, unashamed. In her voice a certain strength, the bud of a lotus, waiting to bloom. A hope, a belief that maybe, just maybe, it was her destiny to be the one above all others.

Nefi caught the look on Isis' face. The strange look in her eyes. The way they lit up. She kissed her. Isis kissed her back feverishly, their bodies tangled together under the sheets until Nefi couldn't have said how their clothes had come off, and there was softness and fumbling and Isis' greedy fingers all over her. Inside her. Nefi kissed Isis, forced her tongue into her mouth. Mounted her, rubbed herself against her, feeling the heat building inside. Gods, Isis, only you can do this to me. Only you make me feel this way.

"Wait," Isis said, and smirked, pushing Nefi off of her and instead getting on top herself, pinning her friends arms to the bed. She rubbed herself between her friends legs, then removed one hand to slide a finger into Nefertiri's wet, hungry hole.

She moaned. Nefi's head fell back, and she bucked into Isis' hand, spasming.

"Did you...?" Isis laughed.

"Yes..." Nefi breathed heavily and smiled impishly before pushing Isis' head down onto her slit, forcing her friend to lick her cunt. Isis happily stuck her tongue inside, swirling it around and tasting her friend's nectar, she sucked and licked and thrusted her tongue in and out until Nefi moaned again and bucked into Isis' mouth, holding onto her head tight as she orgasmed again.

By this point Isis was dripping wet and wanted to be filled. She was desperate to be rid of the ache of her desire, "Fill me," Isis whispered.

Nefi didn't hesitate, she pushed Isis to lie down on the bed and began to pump two fingers in and out while she licked and sucked Isis' swollen clit. She continued at a feverish pace as Isis swore and screamed, bunching the linen in her fist. And then she reached her peak as she looked up at the stars, she imagined she saw Nut's face, and Isis and Neith all smiling down saying, Yes, isn't it a joy to be alive? This is how it feels to be a goddess.

That night they fell asleep in each other's arms.