Dead and Horny Ch. 28

Hi, all! Annabelle Hawthorne here with my latest take on "What if a bunch of monstergirls and a wizard had to play hide and seek with Cthulhu?"

(This is still a better premise than whatever the hell that new Snow White movie was supposed to be)

New reader? Hello, and welcome to the madness! This is the third sequel to a novel that was a spinoff to a series that started with a man getting a blowjob in a bathtub. It somehow makes less sense than the movie John Dies at the End, but has way more dicks in it. Your best bet is to go back to Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 001 published back in 2017 (holy shit) and binge read the fuck out of these things before coming back.

Returning reader? Welcome back! We're keeping the anxiety and violence nice and high these days, and I've been so grateful for the excitement over this spinoff continuing! Apparently a bunch of you really want a story with disaster lesbians, mental trauma, and numerous stabbings, which really makes me wonder why Netflix didn't continue with its She-Ra series. Oh, well. At least Netflix isn't in charge of cancelling me.

Once again, a huge shout-out to my beta team, including Lit's own TJ Skywind. They see... some serious skeletons in my closets, fam. You know how monkey's will groom each other for ticks and eat them? I imagine being one of my betas is a mixed bag of joy (yay, early sneak-peek) vs existential dread (this grammer is so bad that it's like shoving glass into my eyes!). I super appreciate everything that you do.

I also appreciate my readers here. Thank you so much for, once again, remembering to shoot me some stars, leave a review, and generally keep the hype train going for the ever expanding Radley-verse. If you're disappointed that this isn't a Horny Monsters chapter, you can see when the next one is coming out in my bio. Life is busy for me these days, and now that I'm a full-time writer, it means that I am embroiled in several different projects. However, I still love all of you here, which is why Horny Monsters stuff is still being posted for you all.

That being said, I'll keep working hard at these tales to earn those stars of yours. After all, I would hate for anyone to accuse my story ratings of being

Rigged

An icy breeze ruffled Ingrid's hair as she stepped outside of the cabin door. She found herself wincing as the cold bit through her jacket, and she crouched down then moved to the side to allow Tasia to follow her. It was almost pitch black, the sole illumination belonging to the sodium lights that each ship had trained on the oil platform they were escorting. A swell hit the ship, causing it to raise up just as Lily stepped out onto the deck.

"Ack," was all she managed to say as she fell backward into Dana and they both disappeared back into the cabin. Ingrid and Tasia held onto the railing as the ship lurched, then rose up dangerously close to capsizing.

"Isn't the captain supposed to be steering this fucking thing?" Tasia whispered, clutching onto a nearby cable. She made a face and promptly slapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh gods," she muttered through her fingers.

"Please don't tell me you are getting seasick," Ingrid hissed.

"I shouldn't," Tasia replied. "But these seas are--"

The bow dipped and a wave of cold water splashed over both of them. Even Ingrid's stomach lurched, and she was wearing an enchanted bracelet that was supposed to cancel out any motion sickness.

"What in Poseidon's shaft is going on out here?" Lily demanded as she hauled herself back through the door. The succubus was wearing a bright red bikini. "This isn't the cruise I signed up for!"

"Shhh!" Ingrid swatted her hand in Lily's direction. "Be quiet or someone will hear you!"

"Not here they won't." Lily stepped onto the deck and promptly slipped. When the ship dipped again, she slid about twelve feet before her tail grabbed onto a piece of rigging. "I don't sense anyone but us."

"What do you mean?" asked Ingrid. Her stomach lurched again and she had to close her eyes and take several deep breaths. "This ship should have a crew of thirty."

"It should," said Dana. The blonde didn't seem to be having any issues with how the ship swayed beneath her feet. She sniffed the air a few times. "I don't smell anyone on board either."

"Of course you don't." Ingrid managed to stand and walk toward Dana. "If I'm going to rely on anyone's nose, it will be my partner's."

Tasia inhaled deeply through her nose, and her face briefly twisted and stretched into the shape of a wolf's muzzle. "She's right. I don't smell anything but salt and metal."

"That doesn't make sense. If everyone was dead, the place would smell like blood."

"Unless there aren't any bodies." Lily used a combination of her hands and tail to pull herself along the rail toward a ladder. "I'm going to have a word with the captain. This tour was only supposed to be three hours long!"

Ingrid frowned. There had been very little intel regarding the vessels being used to escort the oil rig. Eulalie had been able to pull up some dossiers on the ships, which allowed her to instruct her magical rats on which room would be best for a portal. Telemetry had been the next issue, pinpointing where in the world they were currently cruising. Apparently certain weather buoys sent in some absolutely wild data about rogue waves that had triggered potential tsunami warnings that never came to pass. Satellite imagery over the area had been blacked out, and now, twelve hours later, here they were.

"Can you at least change into something less conspicuous?" Tasia asked. "In case the other ships still have people on them."

"Mom, you never let me wear anything sexy to the ocean," Lily complained as her bikini turned black.

"That's not what I--" Tasia rolled her eyes. "Fine. Whatever." She went pale and promptly leaned over the rail to barf.

"Fucking hell," muttered Ingrid as she moved away from the werewolf. They had been here less than five minutes and this op was already a disaster. Dana seemed to be the only one not made sick by the movement of the ship. Well, and Jenny. The doll was tucked safely inside a small pack that Dana wore on her back. The blonde had dressed in a black special ops suit that clung to her like a second skin, and looked like she had stepped straight out of a spy movie or an X-Rated flick.

Ingrid was wearing a dark suit that had protective magical properties, but it definitely didn't look nearly as cool. Tasia was in dark leggings and a tank top in case she had to transform. Aurora, for whatever reason, had put a black dress on Jenny before they all left.

Ingrid shivered at the thought of Jenny. At least the doll was being quiet.

As if on cue, Ingrid heard a giggle inside of her head, followed by singing.

The itsy, bitsy captain, he tried to sail his ship

The waves, how they fought him, yet it still remained afloat

But when the shadows came, they gobbled up his men

Now the itsy, bitsy captain, he burns in hell again.

Jenny cackled and Ingrid closed her eyes. Another wave washed over them. Her earpiece hissed to life and Lily's voice came through. It was distorted, as if the connection was weak.

"You all need to get up to the bridge," she said. "Right fucking now."

"Does that doll already know something we don't?" grumbled Ingrid as they moved toward the ladder.

"If she does, we can't make her tell us," said Dana. "Trying to understand her is an exercise in futility." She waited at the base of the ladder for Ingrid and Tasia to go up first, which allowed her to slap the werewolf on the butt.

"And how are you not motion sick," Ingrid demanded when she got to the top and looked back down.

"I only ate hair pie for breakfast," Dana replied as she scaled the ladder. When Ingrid looked at Tasia, the werewolf was blushing.

"She's not wrong," she muttered, then coughed into her hand and moved along the railing to get to the bridge door.

Their vessel was a repurposed fishing ship capable of doing mid-sea supply runs, and they found Lily standing near the helm with a pair of binoculars in her hand. She was looking at the oil platform.

What's wrong?" asked Ingrid.

"See for yourself." Lily handed over the binoculars. "All of the tow ships are adrift right now."

"But why?" Ingrid held the binoculars up to her eyes and squinted. With so much motion, it was hard to see the oil platform. When she tried to do a quick scan of the ships, she realized why the sea was so turbulent. A vortex had formed around the platform, and it was easily twenty feet lower in the water than the ships. The water wasn't swirling about and there was no current. It was like a crater had formed on the ocean's surface.

"Something happened out here." Tasia sniffed the air again. "I don't smell blood, but do catch traces of panic and alarm."

"A new fragrance from Calvin Klein," whispered Lily in a seductive voice.

Tasia walked around the wheelhouse and sniffed the air. "Yeah, this place reeks of terror and pee. Whatever happened wasn't very fun for those involved." She stepped over to the helm and started punching buttons. "This thing still has power. It's just getting tossed around. We can steer it right to the platform if we want." She looked at the others. "Um, who knows how to pilot a ship?"

Lily immediately hopped into the captain's chair, now dressed as a pirate. There was even a stuffed parrot on her shoulder.

"Avast, me bitches! We set sail for treasures untold and dangers unknown!" the demon declared as she hit a few switches and grabbed the wheel. "Prepare to get your booty plundered!"

"Raawp! Plunder the booty!" the bird declared as the ship's stabilizers kicked in.

"She just casually knows how to pilot a ship?" asked Ingrid.

"I've eaten a LOT of seamen," Lily replied. "It really sticks with you."

Tasia excused herself to step outside and barf over the railing.

Ingrid sighed and took the first officer's seat. She stared for a bit before looking up at the spotlight on their ship. The beam remained trained on the platform. After looking at all the ships, she realized that their beams had a laser focus on the platform, despite the fact that they were likely unmanned.

"What controls the spotlights?" Ingrid stood with a frown. "To keep them pointed like that?"

"Nothing, I assume." Dana moved to where Ingrid was and looked outside. "Huh. They're all trained on the platform. Hold on, I'll climb up and take a look."

Tasia stepped back in just as Dana walked out, and nearly a minute later, the beam of the spotlight wiggled back and forth, never quite moving away from the platform. They were much closer now, each ship just a dark shadow that circled the platform like a tiny planet. When Dana came back inside, she looked at the others with a frown.

"Is it automated?" asked Ingrid.

The blonde shook her head. "Negative. The beam of light is holding it in place."

Lily actually looked over at her. "Do you want to run that one by us again? I think I heard it wrong."

"There's nothing locking the light in place," said Dana. "It spins freely, but the beam won't stop pointing at the oil rig. There was a hand crank up there to turn it, so I tried to point the light away from the rig." She tossed something metallic onto the console. "The crank finally snapped off."

Tasia and Lily exchanged a look that Ingrid didn't like. She picked up the handle and looked outside.

"You're saying the beam of light is somehow holding it in place?"

"Yeah. I don't like it either," said Dana.

It wants to be watched, whispered Jenny. To be seen and appreciated.

"You can feel it?" asked Ingrid.

Can't you?

"I hate this," Ingrid muttered as the ship got near the platform. She tapped her earpiece a few times. "Eulalie, you hear anything?" There was nothing but static, followed by a screeching sound. "Shit," she muttered. "I think we might be on our own."

"That portal might still be open downstairs," said Lily. "If you're getting cold feet, you can bounce and let the big kids handle it."

Ingrid didn't dignify that with a response. She refused to let the succubus get the better of her. Ever since the disaster in the stacks, her confidence had been shaken and it was like Lily could smell it coming off of her. There was little to be done about it. Sometimes, missions went poorly. But the idea that it had done so in front of Lily was just icing on the cake.

Tasia picked idly at the black bracelet on her wrist as the ship drew near. Lily let out a "Yo ho ho!" and threw a lever on the ship which caused the engine to idle down.

"We need to strap up and strap on," the succubus declared as she stood. "Who remembers their bondage knots?"

"Rawrp! The safe word is chuckle bunny!" shouted her parrot. Lily patted the bird on the head and tried to feed it a cracker. The saltine fell onto the ground and got crushed under a boot before it disappeared.

"Don't we need someone to keep an eye on the ship?" Ingrid looked nervously outside. "This is kind of our only exit strategy."

"That's... actually not a bad idea, no matter how much shit I want to give you for it." Lily looked outside. "But if there's nobody out here, who is going to take our ship?"

"This whole place feels wrong." Tasia was staring at the oil platform now. She thought she saw people standing on it for a moment, but briefly lost sight of them when the ship dipped. They were gone once it level out again. "The waves aren't nearly as bad anymore, but my stomach is still lurching."

Ingrid frowned and rubbed at her own belly. For whatever reason, her anxiety was spiking, and it felt like she might be sick at any moment. Was this because of the thing hiding inside of the oil rig? The mission today was to properly locate the thing, then use a rat portal to potentially lure it to an isolated location that was already primed for spatial destruction.

"We can always swim to one of the other ships and make our escape that way," said Dana. "Or Lily can fly there and bring a ship back. We've got plenty of options. Splitting up is what got us in trouble back in Switzerland."

"Splitting up made sense there," countered Ingrid.

"I'm not saying that was a bad decision," Dana replied. "Merely stating a fact. We're stronger together for now."

Easy for you to say, Ingrid thought. Dana got along with everyone else. Ingrid felt distant from the others, and her own partner was too enthralled with the blonde to remember that she was supposed to be Ingrid's other half. The feelings of isolation churned in her guts alongside a sense of dread.

They tied up on some sort of utility dock, which consisted of

thick metal posts and a rickety flight of stairs. The floating platform obscured the night sky, which helped to spike Ingrid's anxiety even further. The sound of groaning metal had her wincing as water slapped against the supports.

"I didn't know these things could float like this," said Tasia as she scaled the ladder. "Always just assumed that they were built on site."

"Some are too far out to sea," Dana replied. "Makes more sense to assemble them in a shipyard and tow them out."

"What, are you an expert on oil rigs now?" joked Ingrid.

"I watched two documentaries on them last night," Dana replied. "Along with Armageddon, starring Bruce Willis."

"That was my fault," said Tasia. "We were... snuggling."

"You didn't want to close your eyes, am I right?" asked Lily. "Didn't want to fall asleep, either."

Tasia rolled her eyes.

Ingrid sighed inwardly. This was clearly an inside joke that she didn't understand. At least Dana wasn't giggling over it. In fact, Ingrid couldn't remember Dana laughing at anything. The woman had a permanent case of resting bitch face.

They were almost to the top of the stairs when Ingrid stopped and pulled out a modified set of night vision goggles. When the others turned to look at her, they remembered their own and got them out. The headset itself was modified to function in regular lighting conditions and was acting primarily as a filter. Since it operated using a camera with a pair of internal screens, they wouldn't lose their shit just seeing a piece of the creature. The headset would fry out long before their brains would.

"Earpieces," Ingrid reminded them, turning on the noise cancelling function. The Order had extensively researched eldritch entities, and knew that it was best to isolate the senses as much as possible to avoid madness. "Can you all hear me?" she asked, touching the button to talk.

"Roger," Tasia replied. Lily and Dana both gave Ingrid a thumbs up, then moved to a scaffolding with ladders. The team climbed to the top, which now had them on the main deck of the oil platform. Since it was at the bottom of the mysterious crater in the water, it wasn't moving very much.

They did a quick visual sweep, then headed for the watertight door. That was where they found their first casualty. The rotting remains of a crewman protruded from the metal as if he had been shoved through it. Ingrid paused to inspect the corpse.

"Holy shit," Lily muttered. "Are you seeing this?" She poked the dead man's stomach. "He's fused with the metal."

"It's like with my old motorcycle," Dana replied. "This guy was essentially teleported and became one with the structure." She looked through the doorway and then came back out. "The rest of him is in here."

"When he rots, will he leave a hole in the metal?" asked Lily.

"He is the metal." Ingrid knocked on the wall. "The rest of him may fall away, but this slice of metal is now a steel-human alloy, the molecules forced into a stable configuration. The Order did a ton of research on this effect in the hopes of developing new tech that would be light years ahead of what is scientifically possible right now."

"Did they test on people?" asked Lily.

Ingrid shook her head. "Never on purpose, to my knowledge. Any sort of experiment involving the human mind itself is unreliable at best, and that's without the interference of an elder god. They did try something with cows in the late eighties, thinking it would be okay, but then they lost one and it turned into a major outbreak."

"Wait. Are you saying the Order is responsible for Mad Cow Disease?" Dana leaned against the wall and folded her arms. "I thought that was an illness caused by prions."

"What do you think misfolded those proteins to begin with?" Ingrid jerked her thumb at the corpse. "This is the shit we see on a larger scale. People don't go mad because they saw something scary. Looking at crap from outside of time and space has a way of affecting your body on a molecular level. Your brain is little more than a computer made of week-old pudding. Stir it up just a little and you become functionally useless. That's why we go through all these precautions with the headset and the earpieces." She pointed at the door. "If that thing was active, we wouldn't even be here. The few times something like that makes it to our world, they start to starve. Whatever their natural food is doesn't exist that we know of."

"They hunt the gods," said Lily. "These things eat divinity and anything that establishes the natural order. That's why all of the gods are in hiding. Or dead, honestly."

"That's one theory," said Ingrid.

"It's not a theory," Dana replied. "But we can talk about how we know that later."

"But only if you're a really good girl," added Lily. "I might even take you out for ice cream, too!"

"Fuck off," Ingrid grunted, then looked at Tasia. "Do you have anything to add?"

"No," Tasia grunted. "Too busy trying not to puke. It feels like everything is moving."

The group exchanged glances. "Maybe you should wait out here," suggested Ingrid.

"No, I can do this." Tasia gave Dana a look. "I'm just really sensitive to, well, everything is all. My equilibrium is out of whack. I feel like we're out in those waves again, but I can tell that the ground is stable. I hate it."

Now that Tasia mentioned it, Ingrid felt it, too. If she closed her eyes, it was almost like she'd had too much to drink and the world was spinning around her. "How do you two feel?"

Lily shrugged. "I can tune it out."

"And I don't feel a thing." Dana looked through the doorway. "Shall we?"

Nobody asked how I felt.

"Because nobody cares," Dana replied.

Ingrid's butthole clenched at her response, but she relaxed when Jenny actually laughed. She was never going to figure out that fucking doll.

As they all moved inside of the oil platform's main building, another wave of dread washed over Ingrid. It was the unreasonable fear that something was wrong, and every instinct in her body screamed that she needed to get out right away.

"I don't care much for whatever is causing that," said Tasia through the earpiece. "Feel like somebody just stepped over my grave. Heads up, we have more casualties in the next room."

It looked to be either a meeting room, or perhaps a mess hall. The walls looked bent inward at first, but when Ingrid turned on her flashlight for a better look, it was to reveal humanoid shapes that had partially emerged from the walls. Unlike the corpse outside, these ones were entirely metal as if they had become one with the structure.

"I don't care much for the decor," muttered Lily. She paused to knock on the skull of one of them. "Figures. Hollow as--"

The figure screamed and twisted around to reach for the succubus. She stepped back, and the team all watched in horror as the figures writhed in agony before going still once again.

"Fuck me, that's bad." Lily's tail darted forward and bounced off the metal. "There is nothing organic about these guys. How can they even move?"

"All things are possible when you throw out the laws of nature," Dana replied. Ingrid noticed that she had already drawn one of the Order's swords and held it casually in its dagger form.

Cheap jump-scare antics, added Jenny. Amateurs.

"Like you could do that," Lily scoffed.

Maybe. I haven't tried yet.

"Is she going to be okay in here?" Ingrid asked. "This feels like we're adding gasoline to a fire."

If I had an asshole, I'd make you eat it. Jenny giggled. And then we'd switch places and I'd eat my own ass with your body.

"Settle down, Chucky." Lily patted Dana's bag condescendingly. "We're trying to be friendly with this one."

Why, though? She's the weak link, and we all know it.

"If I call her a cunt, will she turn me inside out?" asked Ingrid.

Lily and Dana exchanged a look, and the succubus shrugged. "Won't know until you try it," she said.

"I hate this mission," Ingrid muttered and continued forward.

Every now and then, the metallic figures in the wall would spasm and twitch, or even emit a static-filled scream. This caused the electronics to malfunction, which slowed the group down.

Eventually, Lily took off her goggles and handed them to Ingrid. "I'll be fine if I get whammied," she explained. "Why don't the two of you stick back for a bit. Dog-girl looks like she's gonna barf again."

Poor Tasia had gone white as a sheet. Ingrid knew it was bad when she didn't even bother arguing with the succubus. They were all on edge now, though Dana acted like it was no big deal. In fact, she looked more curious than anything else.

"You don't want the goggles?" Ingrid asked.

"I'd rather you have them as a backup." Lily winked. "Since you're the weakest link here."

Ingrid flipped Lily off and found somewhere to sit nearby. Tasia did the same, then leaned forward and stuck her head between her knees. The succubus left, squeezing herself through a door that was stuck halfway open.

"I've never felt this sick in my life," the werewolf muttered. "It's like the gravity in this place is broken."

"It probably is," said Ingrid. "There's a reason why everyone wants this thing so badly. In fact, I'm a little surprised that we're the only ones trying to steal it."

"Everyone else doesn't have a Eulalie," Dana replied.

"But they do have witches and whatever who can try to find it with magic," Ingrid replied. "Which I realize doesn't sound that impressive anymore. With the amount of bad juju around this place, I'm willing to bet good money that there's at least one dead witch somewhere with blood pouring out her eyes because she was dumb enough to look."

"Do you know that one you guys keep in the Berkeley Pit?" asked Dana. "Lily tried to enter its dreams. Took her a few days before she was lucid again."

"Seriously?" Ingrid frowned. "And we're fine with her just wandering off?"

"She does what she wants, but always means well." Dana pulled something out of her pocket and tossed it in her mouth. "But I wouldn't bring it up to her face."

"Why? Afraid she'll make fun of you?"

"No. She'll probably take it out on everyone for a few days. Did you know there are actually psychiatry books written about her?"

Ingrid chuckled. "You're lying."

"Am not. Why do you think Sigmund Freud was so obsessed with dream theory and his own mother?" Dana shook her head. "She had a bunch of jobs in Europe and the people using her didn't phrase their assassination requests correctly. Freud's dreams attracted her, so she used to take tiny vacations inside of his brain. He eventually caught on and started writing his book."

"So the father of psychology was inspired by Lily?" Ingrid was appalled.

"Sure sounds that way. Wait until you find out about half the Disney movies you've ever watched." Dana grinned, but Ingrid could tell it was forced. After a moment, the blonde chewed on something, like a piece of gum.

"What are you eating?" asked Ingrid. "Scratch that. How can you eat right now?"

"What can I say?" Dana replied. "I eat my feelings."

The trio sat in silence for a bit. Eventually, the silence was broken by Lily through their headsets. She was singing Stand by Me softly to herself.

"Hey, your mic is on," Ingrid said. She frowned when the succubus ignored her. "Only use the comms if it's for something important."

When the succubus kept singing, Dana touched her own earpiece. "You're beautiful, they should have cast you in Wicked. Now shut the fuck up." After a few more moments, Dana spoke again. "Hey, Tasia, let's sneak off so you can tongue my asshole."

"What are you doing?" Ingrid growled.

"Something's wrong." Dana looked at the door through which Lily left. "She can be annoying, but there's no way she'd let me say something like that without adding her two cents."

"You know, I always felt like the cast of this movie was underpaid," said Lily. "Did you know that it was based on a short story by the master himself?"

"Who is she talking to?" asked Tasia.

"Yeah, it was called The Body. Doesn't quite capture the vibe of the whole story, does it? Coming of age tale where the corpse is only featured in the last few minutes. They would have had a hell of a time picking the right song for that title."

There was a faint buzzing sound in Ingrid's earpiece, almost like it was picking up interference.

"My favorite part is the very end where we find out what happens to all the characters," Lily continued. "Not a lot of stories do that, anymore."

"The actors ended up like their characters," said a man's voice. It was garbled and distorted at first, but Ingrid recognized it in the end. "The movie was kind of prophetic like that," he continued.

"Is that Mike?" she asked, staring at Dana.

"It is, but why? Is she losing it and talking to herself?" Dana stood and went to the door Lily had gone through. "I'm gonna chase her down."

"I thought we weren't supposed to split up," said Tasia.

"Then come with me." Dana tried to squeeze through the partially shut door, then stood back and gave it a kick. The metal door screeched against its hinges and Dana took a step into the room and froze.

"What's wrong?" asked Ingrid, pulling out her wand as she stood at Dana's reaction.

"This is a closet." Dana turned to look at the others. "Lily isn't here."

????‍♀️????????

After a few rooms with nothing interesting in them, Lily found herself standing outside of a bulkhead door with the wheel snapped off. She stared at the door with a frown, then knelt down to inspect it.

"There shouldn't be water on the other side, right?" She tapped the door with a fingernail, which created a pinging sound. "If it's shut, that means something flooded, right?"

"Not necessarily. I can think of a few reasons why someone would close it." Mike, or rather the piece of his soul that resided in her, knelt down to inspect it. "However, I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is now water on the other side of this door."

"Oh really?" She smirked at him. "Is that part of your nymphly powerset? Water detection?"

"Nope. I got my water detection merit badge when I was twelve. Yep, been feeling water through bulkhead doors since I was a kid." He leaned against the wall and flexed for her. "Does that impress you?"

"Keep dreaming, Romeo." Lily smiled and grabbed onto the nut that held the door in place. Her arm melted and reformed itself into a wrench that fit it. "I am a bit concerned about the fact that something ripped this wheel off, though. And that we haven't seen the wheel anywhere." If her memory of the platform layout served her correctly, this door led to a holding tank where the entity was most likely to reside. "I can't imagine those poor bastards out here sheared the handle off in their panic."

Unlikely," said Mike. "But did you notice that the number of bodies we saw outnumbers the skeleton crew recorded for this vessel? Which means someone else came here."

"Like who?"

Mike shrugged. "Maybe the crews from the surrounding ships."

Lily pursed her lips. "But why, though? That doesn't make much sense." She stood to the side and grunted as she tried to undo the bulkhead seal. "This would be far easier with the actual wheel," she muttered.

"You could always grab it with your tail and do the helicopter dick." Mike swiveled his hips as if trying to spin his cock in a circle. Lily laughed and did just that. The two of them giggled like idiots for almost a minute until the door came loose and opened.

"Now I'm impressed," she said as she pushed the door open to reveal a long, water-free hallway with smeared handprints all along the walls. She paused to inspect the one closest to her, then dragged her finger through the inky substance and tasted it.

"Kinky," said Mike.

"It's crude oil." Lily pulled a flashlight off her hip and clicked it on to reveal a long hallway with its walls covered in oily handprints. "What the actual fuck?"

"Yeah, that is weird." Mike crouched down near a corner. "Hey, check this out." He moved aside and pointed at the top half of a boot. Lily picked it up and realized the material had been cut through cleanly, as if with the world's sharpest razor.

"Maybe our eldritch friend hates sensible footwear?"

"Perhaps. But this is also weird. Look at the handprints." Mike pointed at the ceiling. Lily tilted the flashlight to look and saw that there were handprints up above as well. These ones weren't smeared. Instead, it looked like someone had crawled on their hands and knees along the ceiling.

"John Carpenter, eat your heart out," she muttered.

"Did you know he directed Big Trouble in Little China?" Mike started walking down the hall. "Everyone credits him for The Thing, but that's my favorite movie of his."

"Have we had this conversation before?" Lily honestly couldn't remember. Between manipulating time in her own dreams and the fact that this version of Mike was always with her, they already had well over a century of conversations to look back on. It often bothered her that she had spent more time with this version of her man than the real deal, but she wasn't about to chase either of them off. Not only was he fun, but he kept her from feeling lonely. "It feels like you've said this already."

"I say a lot of things." Mike tilted to one side as if dizzy, putting his hands on the wall for support. After a few moments of awkwardness, he leaned against the wall and looked at Lily in confusion. "Okay. This is weird."

"What is?"

Mike stood up on the wall. He was now perpendicular to Lily. After lifting both feet individually, he did a hop, but still remained on the wall. "Regardless of whether or not I'm a figment of your imagination or just some spiritual leakage, gravity shouldn't affect me."

Lily frowned. Did that mean that whatever was here could hurt Mike's soul? "Maybe you should go back inside me or whatever."

"Ha! Just like you to try and get me inside you." He smirked and then did a little dance on the wall. "It's also possible that I'm a manifestation of your brain realizing the gravity of the situation has changed."

"If that pun was deliberate, I'm gonna knock you off that wall." She balled up a fist and took a swing at him. He stepped to the side, which now put him near the ceiling.

"Every five is a high-five from up here." He laughed again, then frowned and looked over his shoulder. "What the hell was that?"

"What was what?" Lily cocked her head and listened. It sounded like running water at first, but transformed into the staccato rhythm of somebody forcibly laughing. "Think it's our new friend?"

"Maybe? This is that Event Horizon bullshit that Eulalie was talking about." Mike stuck his hands in his pocket. "Remember. Hearing stuff is good. When everything goes quiet, that's when something jumps out at you."

"Thanks for the advice," Lily muttered. "I don't suppose you have any other pearls of wisdom."

He paused. "Never walk up a curved hallway," he said.

"Is that a metaphor?"

"No." Mike turned to her with a frown. "The hallway is curved now. See?"

Lily looked past him and saw that the hallway did indeed curve up. When she looked from where she had come, it was also curved upward. "It wasn't like this before."

"I think... it might be time to go back." Mike made a face. "Something is coming. I can feel it in my spine."

Lily turned to run back the way they had come. The floor became so steep she was forced to grab onto the walls and pull herself forward. Only now did the oily streaks on the walls make sense. The ominous laughter became a roaring sound. She took a deep breath and expanded her body with her arms, her fingertips becoming claws which gouged the metal as the climb became vertical. The hallway transformed into a pit, and her wings became another set of arms that assisted her climb.

From up above, a trickle of water flowed down the wall. Lily narrowed her eyes as the flow increased.

"You wanna hear something weird?" asked Mike. He was clinging to her back.

"Not really," she replied.

"When Jenny was singing earlier, it was the Itsy Bitsy spider tune. Do you think she somehow knew this would happen or is this happening because that thing can read her mind?"

Lily never got a chance to answer as the trickle of water on the walls became a downpour and she vanished beneath the saltwater.

????‍♀️????????

Ingrid exchanged looks with both Tasia and Dana. The blonde slammed the closet door and pulled off her backpack to double check the zippers. Tasia held her stomach and whimpered moments before the oil platform let out a groan and creaked beneath their feet. The sound of rushing water sent shivers down Ingrid's spine.

"Let's move," said Dana and she tossed her bag to Ingrid, who caught it.

"Why am I carrying this?" asked Ingrid.

"Because you're the weakest link. Jenny can protect you."

Maybe, added Jenny. I might be too big of a cunt.

Ingrid ignored the doll's giggling. "You're just as human as I am," she said, trying to hand the bag back to Dana. "I've got magic, you've got a sword."

"Actually, I'm with Dana on this." Tasia shook her head. "Sorry, Ingrid, but you should hold onto Raggedy Anne for now."

I'd rather be Raggedy Anne than have a raggedy ass, Jenny replied.

"If she's talking, it means she's paying attention. I--" Dana tripped and stumbled, then fell sideways across the room where she slammed into the wall. Tasia yelled and was yanked up toward the ceiling. When they got to their feet, all three women were standing on different surfaces.

"Let's find Lily and identify the target. You good?" Dana looked at Tasia, who promptly threw up on the ceiling. Ingrid moved away from beneath it, just in case gravity reasserted itself.

"Yeah," Tasia grumbled. "At least now I know now why my stomach is doing flip flops. When we leave this place, I won't fall into the sky, right?"

"You shouldn't," said Ingrid. "Typically, any sort of spatial or temporal distortion is localized. If you get far enough away, the laws of physics reassert themselves."

"Good." Tasia moved to the nearest door and pushed it open with her arms. "I don't want to be a balloon on a string for the rest of my days. I would hate being stuck indoors."

The team checked out the closest rooms, all while trying to get Lily to respond to the comms. The succubus failed to acknowledge them, and was now having a conversation with Mike about a hallway. By the time they made it back to the entry lounge of the oil platform, the oblong bulkhead door had taken a circular appearance. Dana was still bound to the walls, and had been climbing down or across through the various doorways. Tasia had a far easier time, other than when her feet busted through some of the suspended ceiling tiles.

"Does this thing know we're here or something?" asked Tasia. "Is that why shit is weird?"

"Doubt it," Ingrid replied. "These things rarely seem cognizant of what's going on. What we're experiencing could just be the result of it moving in its sleep." She gestured at one of the people sticking out of the wall. "Maybe the damned thing coughed and did this to everyone. The only hard rule is that there are no rules."

"Which doesn't make sense," Tasia grumbled. "You can't say that the only rule is that there are no rules. It's a paradox."

"Much like these creatures are." Ingrid pushed open the door that would take them to the main deck and stepped through it. "I can take a peek through here to see if Lily is there? Or I can help you both back to the ship? Maybe we can wait it out? What do you think?" She turned back to look at the others and was stunned to discover that the door had closed itself. She pushed it open to reveal the same room, only it was now sideways on the inside. "Oh, c'mon. Where did they go?"

Everything is topsy turvy now. Jenny giggled, and Ingrid felt her move around inside the backpack. Don't worry, you aren't all alone. You've got meeeeeeee.

That didn't make Ingrid feel better. She debated running back to the ship and waiting, but what if Tasia needed help? What if they all did? Despite their differences, they were a team, and she needed to pull them back together.

Making sure the goggles were still tight around her forehead, she walked back inside the structure and let out a scream when she was overcome with the sensation of falling. Despite being prone on the ground, her body was assailed by a downward wind, and it took everything in her power just to crawl across the room. Gravity flipped on her and she slammed into the ceiling so hard that her goggles went flying.

"Damn damn damn!" Ingrid clenched her eyes shut and ground her teeth together. This was just like that fucking server room again. She fumbled about in an attempt to find the goggles and felt them get pushed into her hand.

"Tasia?" she asked as she slid them over her face and turned them on to reveal a young woman in peasant garb. Ingrid stared at the newcomer who turned to look over her shoulder.

"We need to hide. It isn't safe."

"Je... Jenny?"

"It's Janey." The peasant girl smiled and helped her up. "For now, anyway. With so much madness going around, it appears that it has straightened me out for a minute. C'mon, there isn't much time."

"Until what?"

Janey moved toward the closest door and put her hand on the edge. For just a moment, her whole body flickered to reveal a ghoulish apparition with damp hair and pale skin. "This place is about to come apart," she said.

"We're sinking?"

Janey shook her head, the auburn curls bouncing across her shoulders. "No, silly. Reality is breaking down because of Pan's shadow."

"Pan's... shadow? What?"

"Not Pan. Pan. Why do I keep saying Pan? Oh!" Janey turned to look at Ingrid. "He came from the second star on the right, straight on until morning. Oh, this is silly!"

"What's silly? I'm not laughing."

"Jenny isn't letting me talk about him. It. Whatever. Peter Pan came from someplace else."

"Do you mean the--" Ingrid was silenced when Janey covered her mouth. She had been about to say Outsider.

"Uh huh. Though Pan has gone, his shadow remains. It's the shadow that's causing everything here to fall apart. If we speak of it directly, we'll catch its attention."

Now Ingrid followed. Peter Pan was officially the thing they'd come to send home. Its shadow was some lingering presence left behind. Outsiders don't follow the linear rules of time, so if Janey said some form of it was around, it was totally possible. "You said Pan is gone?"

"Uh huh! Wendy came for him. If you hurry, we can watch them leave." Janey pulled on Ingrid's sleeve.

"How do you suddenly know so much?" asked Ingrid. "Why couldn't you have told us this before?"

"Did you know Jenny can read your thoughts? I rarely have thoughts of my own anymore, it's easier to let her be in charge. But I'll tell you a secret. She can't read them if she's far away. The reason she can see them now is because the shadow is close." Janey nodded solemnly as if she had just divulged a large secret. "It knows that we're here and is flipping the pages of time back and forth in an attempt to spot us. As long as we don't stay in the same moment, it shouldn't see us."

"This is fucking crazy," Ingrid muttered. "But I guess crazy is in your wheelhouse."

"It is, it really is!" Janey hopped up and down while clapping her hands, then stopped. "Uh oh! The shadow is getting close!"

"How can you tell?" Ingrid looked back outside and saw that the world was being blotted out with darkness. "Oh. Fuck."

"Language. Here, this way!" Janey pulled Ingrid through the next door, and the mage stopped abruptly when sparks rained down on her from above. All around, construction workers in protective gear were welding pieces of the platform together. It was a sunny day, and the man closest to Ingrid flipped up his visor to look in her direction

"Who the fuck are you?" he asked.

"Don't mind us, we're just turning pages!' Janey pulled Ingrid across a boundary she didn't see, and now they were in the same room as before, only a pair of oil workers were busy sipping coffee at the table. One of them looked up at the two of them and frowned.

"Hey, Billy. We havin' a costume party today?" He looked at the man next to him. Billy looked up from his phone and laughed.

"What are you two supposed to be?" he asked. "Diane, is that you?"

"What day is it?" asked Ingrid.

Billy looked at his buddy. "Wednesday, maybe?"

"What year?"

"2017. Oh, I get it. You're a time--"

Ingrid never heard the rest as Janey pulled her through the same doorway again. They only stopped if the room was empty, and then they would move again once the lights started flickering. One time, they were about to go through the door and Janey held Ingrid back despite the encroaching darkness.

"What are we waiting for?" asked Ingrid.

"That moment is ten years from now," Janey replied. "On the ocean floor. We don't want to go there. Or then. However you say it."

Ingrid shivered. She hoped the others were okay.

"Now!" Janey pulled her through into a safer, quiet moment. Janey looked around and nodded her head, then pulled Ingrid to the next room. The peasant girl cocked her head to one side, as if listening to something, then guided Ingrid beneath a table.

"She's coming," was all Janey offered as an explanation.

"Who?"

"Wendy Darling." Janey offered a helpful grin. 'She's hoping Peter will teach her how to fly."

"That's--" Ingrid went silent at the sound of the outside door being opened. A dark figure in winter gear walked through the room with a broomstick in one hand and an oddly shaped backpack. The figure stopped and turned in their direction. Ingrid held her breath and stared straight ahead, emptying her thoughts. After several tense moments, the figure continued through the next door.

"Wendy almost found you," whispered Janey. "That wouldn't be a good thing."

"How are you so creepy, still?" Ingrid whispered back as she stood.

"Maybe I've always been creepy," Janey replied. "From all the cobwebs in my head."

"At least you're being nice." Ingrid moved to the door and peeked through. She caught sight of the mysterious stranger leaving the other side of the room.

"What are you doing?" asked Janey.

"I'm going to see if she leads us to Neverland." Ingrid drew her wand. "But let's keep a respectable distance, shall we?"

"Ha!" Janey replied. "And if we do catch up, what's the worst that can happen? She turns you into a doll? Then we could share a house together!"

That almost made Ingrid turn back, but she had a job to do. With any luck, this mysterious person would lead her back to her partner.

????‍♀️????????

The room was suddenly dark and felt like it was spinning. Tasia crawled across the floor, ceiling, whatever the hell it was, on her hands and knees. It was taking every ounce of willpower to fight the urge to puke from the intense bout of vertigo she now experienced.

"Ingrid? Hey!" She pounded on the floor, which made a hollow metallic noise. Grumbling, she reached for the flashlight in her belt and pulled it free, only to fumble it. Instead of clattering by her knees, it fell sideways away from her and landed with a clunk. "Shit," she muttered.

A low, soft sobbing noise filled the room as Tasia crawled toward the flashlight. She paused and looked toward the sound, then remembered that she was wearing modified night vision goggles. After a couple of seconds, she found the switch that clicked them back into proper infrared mode and turned toward the sound.

In a corner, sitting on the wall, sat Dana. She was huddled in a ball with her knees hugged tight against her chest as she rocked in place.

"Dana?" Tasia fought the urge to go to the zombie's side immediately. They were on opposing vertices, and if the goggles failed, she would be in the dark literally. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Dana didn't answer. Erring on the side of caution, Tasia found the flashlight first, which had landed in another corner of the room. She turned it on and swept the beam in Dana's direction as she toggled the goggles back to regular viewing mode. As her gaze swept over Dana, there was a brief distortion in the goggles themselves that looked like static.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to go on," Dana whispered through the headset. "He killed me, you know. Just because he could. Used me to break into their house with no plans of fixing me afterward."

Tasia frowned. If she remembered correctly, this was how Dana had become a zombie in the first place. "Dana? Hey, it's me."

"And what about Alex? How could I just forget about her?" The blonde was shivering now, her face buried in her knees. "She died and I've already moved on!" Her voice was rising in volume now.

The werewolf winced. It was never a good idea for the new girlfriend to try and fight with the dead girlfriend. Why was she even bringing up Alex now? "Hey, look over here, it's me, Tasia."

Dana mumbled to herself, something about school and her parents. Tasia was on her belly now, scooting a few inches at a time. She was so dizzy that she could no longer stand. Grunting, she moved toward the corner of her floor closest to Dana. As best she could tell, her inner ear was picking up the gravity wells in every direction.

As Tasia crawled across the floor, she continued to call out. Dana didn't even hear her. The snail's pace she had set was atrocious, but it was far better than having to crawl through her own vomit.

"Man, what a pair we make, right?" Tasia paused to inhale deeply through her mouth. The smell of the place didn't make her nausea any better. "If one of us was functional right now, we could go after Ingrid. We probably should go after her, you know? Don't split the party, and all that."

"Oh my god, I killed them. I KILLED THEM!" Dana stared at her palms in horror. "AND I ATE THEM, TOO!"

The werewolf growled and dug her claws into the ground and pulled herself forward. She was tempted to transform, but it could make the nausea even worse. Or maybe she'd transform into something else. Reality was warping here, so the less complicated she made things, the better.

"Hey, calm down," said Tasia. "Remember, you don't actually feel anything anymore."

"Cum!" Dana had to look straight up to meet Tasia's gaze. "I've had to eat so much cum! What would Alex think?!? My parents?!?"

"I promise you're not the first woman that isn't thrilled about swallowing the stuff." Tasia was almost ten feet away now. It was a struggle to hold onto the flashlight while slowly scooting forward. Her path was further complicated by the presence of the humans that had melded with the walls, their outstretched arms like bars. "And you did it to hold on to your humanity, remember?"

"But why do I deserve to survive? I'm a horrible person!" Dana started crying again and buried her face.

"This is the worst argument ever," Tasia groaned. She squirmed a bit closer and bumped against an outstretched arm, then froze when it moved. The werewolf stared warily at it for several seconds, then scrunched her body up like a worm and moved closer. "Why don't you eat some of that jerky in your pocket?"

"I shouldn't be eating it," Dana confessed between sobs.

"Why not? I thought it was a safe alternative to... the stuff you don't want to talk about."

"It's changing me." Dana grew quiet. "It doesn't just make me stronger. It numbs the pain that I feel on the... the other stuff. My emotions come out in short bursts, but it isn't enough. I'm like a dam, Tasia, ready to burst. Even if I found a way to live again, I couldn't live with myself. I would want to die. For real."

Tasia stopped moving. "You can't mean that."

"I don't even know if I do," Dana whispered. "That's the worst part. This is the most I've had to process in so long and... oh, god, Velvet!" A new torrent of tears came.

Shit. Dana was clearly processing things in some sort of chronological order. Tasia wracked her brain in the hopes of figuring out how to properly handle a trauma dump of this magnitude. She wondered if there was a carton of ice cream in the breakroom freezer.

"Her... daughter has to... grow up without her..." Dana blubbered. Nearby, the arms sticking out of the walls stretched in her direction, but were unable to get much further. "It... isn't fair!"

"Yeah, yeah, a lot of that going around." Tasia moved around a human torso and paused. She was currently laying on top of a sign that said "It has been 103 days without a workplace accident!" With the heel of her palm, she wiped away the 1 and the 3. "HR is gonna be pissed," she muttered.

Eventually, she was at the wall, which was Dana's floor. Tasia took a couple of minutes to stand and steady herself, then looked up. Dana was babbling something about her parents again.

"Hey." Tasia slammed her fist against the wall, which caused some of the figures behind her to stir. "Hey! Dana! Look at me!"

"I DIDN'T EVEN GO TO HIS FUNERAL!" Dana looked up from between her legs, panic in her eyes. "I COULDN'T SEE HIS GHOST AT ALL AND IT SCARED ME! WHAT IF I HAD TO RELIVE THAT MEMORY FOR ALL ETERNITY, OF EVERYBODY SAYING GOODBYE? WHAT IF MY EXISTENCE BECOMES THE MEMORY OF THOUSANDS, EVEN MILLIONS, OF FUNERALS, EACH ONE LIKE A KNIFE IN MY BACK?!?"

"Shhh, calm down." Tasia looked over her shoulder and let out a little eep when she saw that two of the melted torsos had turned in her direction and were wading toward them in slow motion. "You're upsetting the locals."

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM!" Snot and tears ran down Dana's face now. She had crossed over into full-blown gross crying. "IF I THOUGHT THEY COULD END ME, I'D--"

Tasia leapt into the air and grabbed hold of Dana. Being the heavier of the two, Tasia ended up dragging Dana along the wall until they were both in the corner, the werewolf clutching the zombie. Dana was shaking hard and starting to hyperventilate.

Could a zombie even hyperventilate? The thought was like cold water across Tasia's shoulders. While Dana's feelings were very real, she didn't feel them when she was dead. Whatever was warping the gravity of the place was somehow affecting the zombie, and she was very much more alive than Tasia could ever remember seeing her. She even smelled good, with no trace of death or decay hidden in the background.

The melted figures along the wall let out metallic groans. In an attempt to get Dana to be quiet, Tasia shook her then repeatedly slapped her. The werewolf was in no shape to fight, and didn't even know how she would manage to protect both of them.

"Dana!" Tasia crouched against the wall and scooted sideways, but was tripped up by a table and chairs. The two women fell on the ground, now easily within reach of the wall people hunting them. With a loud growl, Tasia reached out for Dana, only to have her hand slapped away.

"I DESERVE THIS!" Dana was hysterical now, veins standing out in her neck. She started slamming her head against the wall. "I DESERVE THIS! I DESERVE THIS!"

"Well I don't!" Tasia grabbed Dana's head with both hands and snapped her neck just as a pair of metallic hands closed around both ankles and yanked her away.

????‍♀️????????

Clarity. Dana's eyes flicked open as the cells in her body drained whatever life force absorbed from the entity to repair the damage done to her spine. Tasia was screaming as the metallic figures wrapped their arms around her and tried to pull her into the wall.

Without hesitating, Dana whipped out her swords and twirled like a top, the enchanted blades biting into steel as she cut through Tasia's attackers. It took several strikes before the werewolf was free, though she fell against the wall and laid there while others came near.

Dana's own words echoed in her ears. The moment that Ingrid had disappeared, something inside of the zombie was set free, allowing all of her pent-up emotions to pour forth. The madness left behind by an outsider had buried one version of her entirely, allowing the other to spill out and make a mess that she was forced to leave behind.

She slashed an arm away from Tasia and caught it around the wrist by her fingertips. It grabbed at nothing, and she briefly wondered what it would taste like. She tossed it across the room where it rang against the ground, causing the metal people nearby to swarm toward it.

Interesting. Dana didn't think the people embedded in the walls could hear anything. It had to be via vibrations, or tremorsense in game terms.

Games reminded her of Velvet. Every memory she had shared with the deceased Arachne unraveled before her at the mere thought, allowing her to see it all within the span of a single breath. There was no joy, no pain, just a screen in her mind with moving pictures. This is why it hurt so much to be alive. Nobody was meant to experience so much in such a short time.

Before she knew it, another piece of vampyre jerky was in her mouth. Biting into the thick flesh sent a flood of warmth down her spine, and hardened her resolve. Grinning, she used the surge of strength to slash her way through the other limbs near Tasia, then grabbed the werewolf and pulled her away from the wall. When she was halfway across the room, gravity shifted for the werewolf, pulling her up toward the ceiling.

"I hate this," Dana muttered as she was pulled off her feet. No amount of strength would account for the fact that Tasia was the heavier of the two. They now bounced down the middle of the room like a partially inflated balloon. The metallic figures were actively fighting to pull each other underneath the surface of the wall like a cluster of drowning men.

Maybe they were drowning, forever trapped in a single moment of time where their lungs were coated in steel. Even that thought was a little unnerving. The madness that had attacked the living part of Dana's mind had been more than enough to overwhelm her. What were these people thinking? Were they even still alive, or capable of thought?

"Dana," Tasia whimpered. "I'm gonna puke."

"Don't do it. We're almost to the door."

"And then what?"

Dana smirked. She had no idea. When they got to the door, she grabbed the edge and pulled them both through. This room's denizens all moved toward them in slow motion.

"This was supposed to be outside," Dana muttered to herself, then looked back. Had she gotten turned around?

Her own stomach lurched as she and Tasia were yanked sideways toward the nearest wall. The oil platform groaned and creaked as the room warped and the floor bent into a bowl shape.

Tasia shoved Dana away and moved to the nearest corner to vomit. Dana, being the ever-conscientious girlfriend, followed her into the corner and held her hair back.

"Feel better?' she asked.

"Much," Tasia admitted, then stood. She tugged at the dark bracelet on her wrist and it formed into a proper sword in her hands.

"That's a neat trick," Dana noted.

"Old family secret." Tasia grinned and then looked past Dana. "Incoming."

The metal people were now climbing on top of each other like ants to get at the pair. Both Dana and Tasia repelled the assault with a combination of their blades and sheer strength. Tasia wasn't able to slice through their steel enhanced limbs like Dana could, but she also wasn't fracturing the bones in her arm with every attempt. Each impact sent a shockwave through Dana's body, and she could feel bone, muscles, and tendon giving away with every strike.

The zombie took a moment to stuff her mouth with vampyre bits. Tasia howled, and Dana would have joined in if her mouth hadn't been full.

Across the room, a hooded figure shoved through the door with a broomstick under one arm and a weird, oddly flat backpack. The figure paused, as if surprised to see them, then continued through the door they had just come from.

"Who the fuck was that?" asked Tasia.

"No idea. Didn't look familiar." But Dana had seen the broom. As stereotypical as it was, a single word crossed her mind.

Witch.

Up until now, the witches she had dealt with had been sans brooms. But there was always a nugget of truth in the old stories. Was this witch here for the outsider?

Moments later, Ingrid burst through the door, her body coated in sweat and seawater. She stopped when she saw Dana and Tasia on the far wall.

"Here!" Ingrid stepped back out of the room for a moment and returned with a life ring. She threw the ring to Dana and tied the other end of the rope to a steel beam.

"Thanks. You first." Dana pulled the rope taut and handed it to Tasia. The werewolf's sword disappeared and she scrambled up the rope and to the door where gravity eventually reasserted itself. She stumbled into Ingrid's arms. Dana collapsed both of her blades and moved toward the door that the witch had gone through.

"Don't," said Ingrid. "Time is getting all mixed up right now. She came and left hours ago."

"How do you know that?" Dana looked in the direction the witch had gone. The room was now bent into a sphere.

"I've been following her for most of an hour," Ingrid replied with a shiver. "I've seen her come and leave, and am now watching her come through on a second pass. She didn't even seem to care that I was following her. I'd rather not end up on the ocean floor next Tuesday by blindly stumbling after her. Since I already saw her go, doesn't that mean she escaped?"

"If we're gonna do time travel, then can't we rewrite history?" asked Tasia.

"That depends on what method of time travel you ascribe to," said Dana. "I doubt Back to the Future rules apply here. Ingrid is right. Whoever that was left without any problems. That means we either fought them and lost or just let them go without any problems."

"Fuck!" Tasia slammed her fist against the frame of the door. "We're seriously just going to leave after all of this?"

"Yes." Ingrid grabbed Tasia by the wrist to get her attention. "This place is at the bottom of the ocean as soon as tomorrow morning. As far as I can tell, our target was removed before we got here and we're just caught up in the residual weirdness."

"That's a big leap in logic." Dana really wanted to go after the witch, but didn't feel like ending up like the people stuck in the walls.

"I had help from Janey."

"You mean Jenny."

Ingrid raised an eyebrow. "I don't, actually. This place has temporarily cancelled out her more dominant half. Ghost girl needs therapy."

"Don't we all," Tasia muttered, throwing a look in Dana's direction. The zombie scowled back. Her problems were currently bigger than what therapy could provide. If she didn't figure out a cure for her condition soon, it was possible that she might go mad upon being cured.

"If we need to go, then let's stop talking about it before--" Dana flinched when the floor dropped out from beneath all of them. It only fell a foot, but the metal groaned and screeched as the place threatened to fold in on itself some more. "That!" she added. "Whatever that was. I don't like it."

Ingrid sighed. "At least I found you guys," she said. "I didn't see any sign of Lily."

"I'm not too worried," said Dana. "She's got an emergency failsafe. If there's anything that can permanently hurt her, we don't stand a chance."

"That's awful callous of you," said Ingrid.

"Hardly," Dana replied. "Actual threats at her weight class are things we don't want to tangle with. Especially if it means getting molecularly bonded to--"

The floor dropped again, but only a few inches. Wordlessly, they all exchanged glances and ran. Ingrid led the way. There was no sign of the witch or Lily, but they did go through the same room nearly three times in a row before they found themselves in a narrow hallway. Janey manifested more than once to stop the group from proceeding or lead them down a different path.

Why could Dana see Janey? Or Jenny, for that matter? What was it about Cyrus that had been different? Was it because Jenny was a tortured soul? Maybe it was because they were both stuck on Earth? It always frustrated Dana that even Death couldn't answer those questions, but the guy couldn't see or hear her, which meant that any proper conversation would have to be done either by text messages or through a third party.

Moments with Cyrus were few and far between with a blessed gap at the end. She had avoided everyone for a couple of days, citing an obsession with repairing the telescope. The others had given her space, except for Tink. The little goblin had come to help her work on the telescope, which resulted in a lot of unnecessary cursing.

She smirked at thoughts of the goblin. Tink's limited vocabulary made remembering her much easier, though the number of times the goblin had thrown a wrench or hammer was slightly alarming.

All these thoughts and others filled her mind as she brought up the rear. By the time they made it outside, it was to see their own ship approaching from the distance.

"Whoops, hold on! That's us from a bit ago." Ingrid led them all back inside and shut the door. They were now in a room full of men halfway through a meal.

"What the hell?" one man said as Ingrid opened the door again and led them back out. Saltwater spray was swirling up around the platform to form into a vortex above. The oil platform had folded itself up in places and was now spinning like a top.

Dana yanked the door shut behind her just as one of the men tried to grab her by the wrist. Maybe letting him follow would have saved his life, or maybe it didn't matter and he had gone home before the entity had taken up residence here.

"Fuck!" Ingrid was at the edge of the platform now, looking over the rail. "Our ship is gone!"

"Did someone else take it?" asked Tasia.

"No." Ingrid pointed out about a hundred feet. Dana could just make out the spotlight about twenty feet below the water. "It's sinking."

"We need a life raft, something to get away from here on." Dana did a quick visual sweep, her brain retroactively trying to identify anything that may be an emergency ship. It was during this process that Ingrid was snatched off the ship and carried out to sea by a demon with long wings.

"It's Lily!" shouted Tasia. Lily didn't bother looking back as she flew out into the distance toward one of the remaining ships that was now outside the vortex. The depression they were now in was roughly fifty feet deep and growing. Metal buckled beneath them as the oil platform condensed on itself. By the time Lily came back, it was to wordlessly snatch away Tasia.

Dana was left standing there, her eyes scanning the rig for any movement. Dark shadows created by the spotlights from the rapidly approaching ships danced along the platform, squeezing the metal down and folding it. Her own shadow was bending away from her and ripping away the floor. The door of the platform banged open and the metal people emerged. They were sunk into the floor at hip height as they waded away from the center of the platform. Dana remained silent and watched as the doomed figures grabbed onto the railing and tried to pull themselves free. Between the water and new slant of the ground, she was forced to hold onto the railing to avoid sliding toward the center of the rig.

A high-pitched whistle from above caught her attention, and she looked up to see Lily coming in with her hands and tail extended. Dana leapt into the air and grabbed onto the succubus' hands, but slipped. The tail cinched around her waist, letting Lily get a better grip on her.

"Fuck, what have you been eating?" Lily groaned, frantically flapping her wings and spiraling upward. The wind in the vortex was acting like a thermal and pushed the two of them up and out.

The swirling water was now so deep that the top of the rig had sunk below the rest of the ocean. Dana looked down and saw that the rig was folding itself into a sphere and looked very much like a metallic flower blooming in reverse.

"Nice save," she said.

"Thanks," Lily replied. "I've been planning it for the last three days."

"Three days?" Dana looked up at the succubus.

"Yep. Got flushed down a pipe into the ocean and came out three days ago. Or maybe it was four, I lost track of time under the water." Lily sighed. "I got front row seats to all the fucked-up shit that went down, then watched as that bitch strolled right in and took the prize from under our noses."

"How could anyone get here before us?" asked Dana.

"That's a very good question. She arrived not even a day after the auction ended on a fucking broom of all things. There's more, but it'll... have to... wait." Lily was outside of the uplifting stream of air and was trying to keep them both above the waves as she flew toward a ship outside of the massive whirlpool. The two of them were barely level with the deck when Lily crashed, sending both of them skidding across the wet planking. Dana's goggles got knocked off and slid away into the darkness.

"I've got you." Tasia pulled Dana to her feet and pointed up. "Ingrid is at the helm, let's get inside."

"What a fucking waste," Dana muttered. They had almost died for nothing. She looked up and noticed that the ship they were on had no spotlight. It had been broken off. "This whole thing went sideways."

"Literally." Tasia knelt and prodded Lily. "Enough with the lazy act, the swells are getting larger and we should be inside." When the succubus didn't react, Tasia rolled her over. "Huh. She's out cold."

"What?" Dana moved to Tasia's side and knelt down. Lily was, in fact, asleep. "She doesn't lose consciousness, she's a dream demon."

"Today has been full of surprises." Tasia picked Lily up and the trio went up a flight of stairs to the helm. Ingrid briefly glanced up at the group, her knuckles white on the controls. Hovering above her was the ghastly form of Jenny.

The rain is coming to wash us out, she giggled. The lights from the ships in the whirlpool now pointed toward the sky, spiraling ever inward. A massive swell formed on the lip, causing their ship to tilt forward as Ingrid turned away from it and gunned the engines.

"This is so fucked," she shouted at the ghost. "Instead of commenting on the weather, maybe you should get out and push!"

Loose items in the helm rolled across the floor as the ship was pulled toward the whirlpool. Jenny cackled madly and the temperature dropped, causing water vapor to come out of Tasia and Ingrid's mouths in large, billowing clouds. Lily rolled helplessly across the floor and slammed into the console, but there was nothing else to be done. Tasia found some life vests and everyone put them on, just in case. They even squeezed Lily into one as she muttered words in a language Dana didn't recognize.

Down came the rain! Jenny yelled as the swell turned into a massive wave behind them. Are we spiders or are we prey? Will it wash us out or devour us?

"Shut the fuck up!" Ingrid shouted, bracing herself against the console. There was a peal of thunder, followed by a strange sensation of heaviness. Dana's ears popped, then the wave broke over the ship. The vessel tipped dangerously forward, and the outside world turned into a watery grave. The windows cracked, but held when tiny handprints appeared all across them.

They rocked dangerously for several minutes before the engines shut off. All the lights went out and the ship listed heavily to one side as it moved backward toward the rig.

Dana half expected them to get caught in the whirlpool, but when nothing happened, she took the initiative and went outside with her flashlight for a better look.

As far as she could tell, the platform and the ships that had surrounded it were gone. The ship was caught up in the aftermath of the whole thing sinking into the ocean and they now bobbed silently without power. She waited a few more minutes, scanning the surface of the water to make sure no more surprises were headed their way, then went back inside and belowdecks.

The ship had taken on a lot of water, and none of the pumps seemed to be running. Tasia found her down below, and the two of them did a quick check of the engine room together. Over a very tense hour, the two of them worked together to restart the engine and activate the bilge pumps. It was nearly two hours before the ship floated normally again. Meanwhile, Ingrid turned the ship east and headed at least in the direction of land.

When the sun came up, Lily was still asleep. Dana had found the ship's satellite phone hidden in one of the bunks below and called Eulalie. It was almost another two hours before the rats were able to track them down, eating a hole in the ship's galley.

When the group stepped through into the Library, Aurora was waiting for them with warm towels and some blankets. By the time Eulalie arrived in her wheelchair, Tasia and Ingrid were both busy stuffing their faces with food the Library had provided.

"Well, that went well," noted Eulalie sarcastically. The only one who responded was Jenny, who cackled madly. Ingrid let out a long sigh and excused herself. Tasia seemed torn on if she should stay or go, but Dana motioned that she should at least follow her partner.

Once Aurora followed, Eulalie had the door locked and squeezed her body out of the wheelchair and knelt to examine Lily.

"How long has she been like this?" she asked.

"Hours now," Dana replied. "Do you think she's okay?"

Eulalie sighed. "I certainly hope so. So what all went down out there?"

The memory of the whole mission immediately surged through Dana's mind. She paused long enough to toss a piece of vampyr into her mouth, then told the Arachne everything.

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Hot damn, this chapter was one big fever dream and it was so much fun writing it! I really hope you enjoyed it. Please leave some stars if you did. If you didn't, um... yeah, I'm really sorry. ????????

Thank you so much for dropping by and spending some time with my girls today. Now that you're finished, give yourself a pat on the back, or eat an extra cookie, whatever makes you happiest. I'm so glad to keep sharing my world (and useless movie references) with you, and shall see you next time.

Buckle up, gang. We're making buttholes relevant again!

~Annabelle Hawthorne