Sissy Willows Loses Her Virginity

One night, while dressing up and showing myself to guys online, I just had to ask myself, "Am I really like this, or is this just a phase?"

"I'm going to test it!" I said to myself.

So, I got on Grindr and looked for the closest, biggest dick I could find... a BBC. He was a soldier stationed at Fort Bragg like me. I was already completely smooth and dressed from my little cam show, so I was really ready. But before he got there, I lit candles, got out a pink comforter I hid from my buddies, and sprayed some of my ex's perfume that she left behind. I did it without even thinking--just instinct.

Sitting there, waiting for him to arrive, I was so scared. The adrenaline almost made me back out, but I didn't. I wasn't going to back out like all the other times before!

Fifteen more minutes of slamming wine later, I met him at the door. He walked in, introduced himself, and sat down at my table. He was like 6'5", 220 pounds--kinda skinny even in his baggy uniform, but handsome as hell!

He told me to get him a glass, which I did. Then, he pulled out a bottle of Hennessy and told me to pour him a drink. I was shaking so bad! He grabbed my hand and told me to relax. I stuttered, "O-okay," so I poured him a glass. He took a sip, then told me, "Kneel before me."

So, I did.

Then he told me, "Open up."

I opened my mouth, and he poured the rest of the Hennessy from his glass straight down my throat! I hate hard liquor, so I immediately started choking, my throat and stomach burning. He laughed, then picked me up and set me on his lap.

At that moment, I was buzzing--from the wine, the forced triple shot of Hennessy, and the sheer ecstasy. No one in real life had ever seen me like this before, and here I was, sitting on a black guy's lap, trembling.

He grabbed my chin and pulled me in for a kiss.

I'm pretty sure I came just from that.

That kiss was so long, so deep, so romantic. I had never felt like that before. Then, he grabbed my legs and turned me so I was straddling his crotch, like a horse saddle. We made out, giggling between kisses. He made me drink more Hennessy--which I hated--but he basically didn't give me a choice. I was still shaking uncontrollably, because I could feel how big he was, his bulge pressing against me through his uniform.

After a little more making out and playful teasing (oh my god, I felt so much like a girl doing that with him), he suddenly picked me up--one hand under my ass, the other behind my neck. Then, effortlessly, he carried me like a child to my room and threw me onto the bed.

I watched, breathless, as he undid his belt.

Then, he pulled out a 10-inch, thick, hard-as-hell, massive BBC.

I almost passed out.

One, at the sheer size of it. And two, at the realization that this was really happening. I was actually about to put a real dick in my mouth.

He grabbed my head, but before he could push in, I turned my head away for just a second and said, "Wait--condom."

But before I could even get the word "on" out of my mouth, he grabbed my head and shoved the thick tip of his cock between my lips.

I was in heaven.

Instantly melted.

I don't even remember what happened next. I swear I left my body--some astral plane, maybe? Lol!

After what felt like forever, my mouth covered in spit and gagging so much my eyes were watering, he finally pulled me off. My head was spinning, my body buzzing, my jaw aching.

Then, without warning, he pushed me onto my back, threw my legs in the air, and devoured me.

His tongue worked like magic, flicking, teasing, devouring me in ways I had never felt before. I was almost crying from how good it felt. He had to cover my mouth because I was moaning so loud--moaning like a girl.

I have a deep voice, but he had me whining and whimpering like I had never done before.

He smirked and whispered, "Don't want the whole barracks to hear you, huh?"

Then, he pulled back just enough to let the head of his cock tease my hole.

I shuddered.

For years, I had hidden this part of myself. Pretended. Pushed it down. And now... it was happening.

Then--he pushed in.

His thick head popped inside, stretching me, filling me, and the moment it happened--I came instantly.

Like, hardcore came.

My whole body convulsed, my vision went white, and I swear I almost blacked out. But then--just as quickly as the euphoria hit--my buzz wore off. And suddenly, I hated it.

I was so, so disgusted with myself.

I lay there, frozen, silent, hoping he would just hurry up and finish. But after a couple of minutes of me just lying there, he slowed and said, "What's wrong, baby?"

He tried to kiss me. I turned my head away.

He paused for a second, then chuckled softly. "Oh... I get it. You came, and now you don't wanna be my little bitch anymore."

I didn't say anything.

"I'll fix that."

Then, he reached for his phone.

Confused, I glanced over and saw the screen--videos.

Clips of him with gorgeous women--moaning, writhing, completely lost in pleasure beneath him. I stared, completely hypnotized. My body reacted before my mind did.

He felt it. The way I tensed. The way I started grinding against him again.

A slow, satisfied smirk crossed his lips as he whispered, "That's right, baby. You wanna be one of them, don't you?"

I barely managed to breathe out, "... Yes."

He grabbed my chin, tilted my face toward his, and murmured, "Good girl."

And just like that... the shame disappeared.

I turned in his arms, straddling him this time, and kissed him hard. I was starving for him. My hands roamed his body, my chest pressing against his as I whispered, "Call me Willow."

His eyes darkened. "Alright, Willow. I'm gonna fuck you."

Heat rushed through me at the sound of my name on his lips.

I wanted to hear it again. And again. And again.

So, I threw him onto his back, climbed on top, and took control.

"Ooh, Willow, ride that dick."

"Damn, Willow, you nasty little bitch."

"That's it, Willow--take it all."

When he finally grabbed my hips, groaning, and told me he was about to cum, I begged for it.

The very instance his cock unload in me, the feeling of his seed spreading and expnading my insides like a water balloon created ecstasy of which I have yet to experience again. It made me cum all over hands-free!

(I'm leaking so hard right now typing this out!!! I came so hard, I'm pretty sure I passed out)

I was so exhausted, trembling-- I laid there, my chest rising and falling in sync with his. My body still trembled from the aftershocks, muscles weak, skin damp with sweat. His warmth surrounded me, his breath soft against my neck as he held me close, fingers absentmindedly tracing circles on my back.

And yet, as the haze of pleasure faded, something else crept in--something darker.

I turned my face into the pillow, trying to escape the wave of shame washing over me. What have I done? The thought slammed into me like a cold tide.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

I had told myself so many times that this was just a fantasy, a fleeting curiosity. That I wasn't really like this. But then he touched me, held me, claimed me, and I had surrendered so easily--so eagerly.

I felt his lips press against my shoulder, his voice deep and gentle. "You're thinking too much."

I didn't answer. How could I? He had seen me in a way no one else ever had. Vulnerable. Open. Completely undone beneath him. And worst of all--I had loved it.

My fingers clenched the sheets. I should feel disgusted. "I need to get the F*** outta here" I said to my self in my head.

But I didn't move. I couldn't.

Instead, I felt my body betray me again, leaning into his touch, craving the warmth he offered.

He sighed and shifted, guiding my chin so I had no choice but to meet his gaze. "Don't do that to yourself."

I swallowed hard. "Do what?"

"Regret something that made you feel alive."

I wanted to argue, to push him away, but I couldn't. Because deep down, I knew he was right.

I had spent so long fighting this part of myself, convincing myself that my desires were something to be ashamed of. But in this moment, wrapped in his arms, I realized the truth.

It wasn't wrong. It wasn't shameful.

It was me.

And for the first time, I didn't want to hide.

I fell asleep in his arms, being cradled like the sweet little girl I so desperately graced to be,

I woke up a few hours later, still cuddled in his arms. My head hurt so bad--hungover--my asshole was on fire!

And I did what I always seemed to do, no matter how good life was to me. I panicked and self sabotaged one of the most meaningful experience of my life.

I shoved him off of me and went to shower, so ashamed of myself. I hid in there for the rest of the night and until he left the next morning!!!!

I didn't leave my room at all that Sunday. I couldn't believe I actually sucked a dude's dick and let him fuck me.

I was still leaking out of my ass when my phone went off. It was him--wanting to swing by to get his watch--and he said he was sorry if he did anything wrong.

I said, "No, watch will be on the door handle," then blocked him.

I watched him through the peephole come get his watch. He knocked on the door a few times, and watching him through the peephole, I started to get fully erect--which made me even more sick!

When he left, it was the start of my very first purge. And the last guy I was with.

I miss him so much, and I was so mean to him!

I know now I wasn't disgusted with him--I was disgusted with myself for how much I ENJOYED it! But I burried it away

And I learned, after purging so many times, that I wasted some of the best years of my life worrying about what other people would think of me.