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To those who triumph over tragedy
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When Michael and I walked triumphantly up the aisle as our guests clapped for us as newlyweds, we had no idea our marriage would be measured in hours, not decades.
We met in high school, but didn't date until college. Michael proposed to me at Christmas when we were seniors and we planned to marry that June.
I was excited as the date drew nearer, but there was so much to do. A bridal gown, flowers, a cake, a plan for a honeymoon, and a thousand other details later, we stood together, and spoke the vows we had written.
A few hours later, having changed into our travel clothes, Michael and I pulled out of the parking lot to drive 10 miles to the airport.
We had lived together that last year of school, so our wedding night would not be our first sexual experience together. Far from it. However, it would be special as our first night as husband and wife, and we were both excited.
I vaguely remember leaning over and kissing Michael's cheek, but I'm not even sure about that.
All I remember is waking up in a hospital room. I looked around and saw my mother.
"Mom!"
I thought I spoke it, but there was only a strange raspy sound.
I cried, but I wasn't yet sure why. She held me. She was crying, too.
Before I could figure out my own condition and why I was there, Michael's mother walked in the door and was crying, too. She came and hugged me and then hugged Mom.
"Where's Michael?"
Still raspy, but audible this time.
All I heard was sobbing.
"Where is he? I want to see him!"
"Ashley, Michael... Michael died in the accident. I'm so sorry."
"What? No!"
In that moment, I noticed my pain, and it was intense.
I was sobbing, not understanding anything, only that Michael was gone.
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Over the next few days I learned I had been unconscious for five days. I had missed Michael's funeral. Each new thing I learned made me cry.
I hurt all over, physically and emotionally. I asked Dad what had happened.
He said the police had done their best to reconstruct the accident. They believed Michael was driving 45 in a 45 zone--I was positive that was true. Michael never drove faster than the speed limit.
"A drunk driver--everything was caught on a traffic cam--a drunk driver driving a large SUV and traveling at an estimated 60 miles per hour--the speed limit was 35 on that street--raced through a red light 16 seconds after it turned red. He hit your car on Michael's door.
"I've watched the traffic cam video. Your car went airborne and rolled three times as it slid along the road.
"Ashley, I'm so glad you weren't killed!"
"Was Michael alive?"
"No. He was apparently killed instantly."
I was crying, trying not to imagine what Michael looked like.
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My doctor sat down with me and explained my injuries in terms I could understand.
"Ashley, you look a lot better now than the night you were brought into the ER. There were several skilled specialists we contacted that night, who spent most of the first 24 hours there. You were a mess. I know that's a reaction rather than a catalog of injuries, so let me talk about them.
"I'll start from your feet. You had a dislocated right ankle and a severely broken fibula in that leg. We resolved the dislocation, and surgically repaired ligament damage. Your leg also required surgery and a plate and some screws to reduce the break sufficiently to heal. You should eventually regain close to 100% use of that ankle and leg, but it will take some time. We're waiting for swelling to go down to cast that leg.
"Your left leg was fractured, but reduction was simpler and is in a cast now. You should have no problems with that leg after rehab.
"Your right forearm was fractured and is in a cast now. Your left arm escaped injury, except for a lot of bruising.
"Your right ear was partially torn, but our specialist repaired it and I don't think you will have much of a visible scar. He worked wonders!
"You had a deep cut high on your forehead with substantial bleeding, but I think the scar will be minimal and you can cover it with your hairstyle.
"Overall, your entire body took a beating. You managed to remain unconscious, partially with the aid of some sedation. That spared you a lot of pain."
"Is my back injured? It's really sore."
"We were concerned about that and studied the X-rays carefully. I'm confident you will be extremely sore, but there should not be any lasting problem.
"Ashley, I don't want to paint too rosy a picture. You'll recover, but it will take time and some hard work in physical therapy. There won't be much you can do until the casts come off, but I want you in PT within a week after that."
"Thanks, doctor. Would you express my thanks to all the doctors and nurses?"
"They're all rooting for you. I'll let them know."
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The day before I was released from the hospital, I had a visit from an attorney, Nathan Winston. He was hired by our auto insurance company, to recover actual damages such as the cost of my hospitalization and rehabilitation. Nathan needed to broaden the claim to include all of my claims, damages for pain and suffering and the wrongful death of my husband. We talked about the claims and I signed the representation letter.
As my pain receded, my grief came to the fore. I missed Michael. All my hopes and dreams for us as a family, our plan to have children, all that was gone. I cried a lot.
I knew my parents were worried I was depressed. I could see it in their eyes. I was trying not to be, but I had little else to do but dwell on my losses.
I was discharged from the hospital and Dad drove me home. I couldn't use crutches, because of my three casts, but I had a wheelchair. My bedroom was upstairs, but that was impossible, so they moved my bed to our den. Dad lifted me in and out of bed. Even to go to the bathroom. Dad lifted me out of the bed and into my wheelchair. He would set me on the toilet and Mom helped me pull up my gown. Then the teamwork went in reverse.
I was pathetic!
It wasn't too long before I could handle everything except bed to wheelchair and back. It felt like independence. Imagine, my success in life defined by whether I could pee unassisted!
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When the casts were removed, I was surprised at how bad my legs and my arm looked. I was even more surprised that I couldn't walk!
A week later I slowly shuffled down the hall of the medical building and into the physical therapy clinic. I sat in the first chair I could find and stayed there to check in with the receptionist.
A few minutes later, a man came out from the back.
"Hi, Ashley, I'm Max. Do you need some help to walk with me?"
I nodded and held out my hand. He helped me to my feet and let me lean on him as we walked slowly. I was glad he was tall. And strong.
He helped me back to the area where people were clearly working on specific physical issues. I didn't see anything I could possibly do.
"Ashley, we're not going to do anything rigorous today. I want to talk with you for a few minutes and then have you try a couple of things so I can assess your current weaknesses and determine a path to restore you to a condition of strength.
"Have you ever had physical therapy before?"
"Never."
"I'm going to be your physical therapist. I need to explain what our relationship will be, and the best way I know is to tell you my favorite joke. Do you know the difference between a terrorist and a physical therapist?
"You can negotiate with the terrorist."
I started laughing. It hurt to laugh, and I winced.
"It's a wonderful joke, but there's a hard truth there. There will be days you'll hate me, and it won't be because it hurt to laugh. I promise you two things: I'll never ask you to do some thing I don't think you can do, and a few months from now you'll be almost back all the way from your injuries. If you work hard with me, you'll feel great again."
"Do you know what my injuries are?
"I do. I spent time reading your file and also talking with your doctor. I also know of your personal loss--I'm so sorry. I hope by healing your body, you'll find peace personally."
"Thanks, Max."
Max spent 30 minutes with me, having me do simple things, or what should have been simple. For me they were impossible. Instead of being concerned by my inability, he would say things like, "That's great!," or "Wow, that's more than I thought you could do!" A constant stream of positivity, but not fake. He was genuine. I was smiling through my pain.
I went home that day, a Monday, with a different attitude. There might be hope.
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My appointments were Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Max cautioned me not to do any exercise outside of those appointments, at least for now. He said he would push me hard enough, and I needed rest in between.
He was right, though. There were times I hated him. Sometimes the pain was awful, but he pushed for one more. Then another. And another.
At the end of each day, Max smiled and praised me for all I had done.
After two weeks, he began to give me assignments to do so many of this and so many of that each day I was not in the PT clinic.
I was getting stronger. After six weeks, we moved my bed back to my bedroom, because I could manage to climb the stairs. After another month, I was able to run up the stairs, awkwardly. I told Max the next day and he had tears in his eyes! He told me to keep doing that.
"Run up the stairs all you want. You're amazing, Ashley!"
"Max, I feel stupid asking this question after all this time working with you, but what's your last name?"
"I'm sorry! I probably never told you. Peterson. Max Peterson."
"Is Max short for Maxwell?"
"No, just Max."
"I think I'll call you Maximilian."
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I came home one night from PT, and Dad wanted to talk to me.
"Ashley, Nathan Winston called me today because he has received an offer of settlement. He wants to come over tomorrow and visit with you. He'll want you to decide whether to accept the offer."
"Do you know what the offer is?"
"No, but Nate will explain everything."
The next morning I was sitting on the sofa, waiting for him. Mom answered the door and I stood to meet Nate. He was a nice guy and explained things in simple terms. He said the offer was broken into several components:
Reimbursement for care for my injuries, including rehabilitation
Compensation for my pain and suffering
Wrongful death of my husband
"Ashley, there was nothing good about what happened to you and Michael. There is no amount of money that will make it all right. However, we got lucky about one thing. The other driver had larger than usual liability coverage as part of his automobile policy, but he also had what's often called an umbrella policy that added $3 million of liability coverage.
"The offer would not have been as large as I'm going to tell you had it not been for that umbrella coverage. His auto insurer tendered policy limits early on. That means they offered to settle for the total coverage under the policy. It's taken a few more weeks to get the other insurer to offer to settle.
"You father tells me he has watched it, but you have not, but we met with their attorney and we watched the traffic camera video together. I explained that if his client failed to settle, we would be showing the jury how your hopes and dreams came to an end minutes after your wedding. The offer came the next day."
"I've never watched it, but Dad described it to me."
"Don't watch it. I almost cried the first time I saw it.
"Ashley, the total offer of settlement is also paid in part to reimburse your insurance company, because it paid all your hospital costs and is still paying your rehabilitation. It also paid most of my fees. The amount to be paid to you is $3.1 million. This is for your personal injuries, your pain and suffering and for the wrongful death claim."
I agreed to the settlement and signed the document he had prepared.
Then I went upstairs and cried.
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It was February and it had been five months of hard work. We scaled back to twice a week and Max gave me more assignments to do at home. I was getting excited by how strong I felt!
After six months, Max showed me a chart he had been keeping. He was rating me at 80% or better on all the things he was tracking and nearly 90% on two of them. My right leg was still weak, but Max said he expected that. It just needed more time.
"Ashley, I'm so proud of you! I thought it would take eight months to get you to this point. How do you feel?"
"I feel great. You told me if you helped me heal my body I might find peace over my loss. I'm doing better there, too. I miss Michael, but the grief is no longer the kind that sucks strength out of me."
A month later, as I drove to the clinic, I noticed we were having a beautiful Spring. It was such a nice day, and this was going to be my last appointment with Max.
Max said I was more than 90% on everything, and no longer needed appointments with him. He gave me a list of exercises he want me to work on for at least a couple of months on my own. He recommended that I start jogging, if I had someone to jog with.
I said I didn't. Max paused.
"Ashley, this was your last appointment with me. I've been looking forward to this day, but probably not for the same reason you have. Will you go out with me Friday? To be clear, I'm asking you out on a date."
I was surprised. I had come to love my time with Max, but I was surprised he thought of me that way.
He saw my hesitation.
"If that's not something you're ready for, or..."
"No, Max, I'm ready. I'd like to go on a date with you, but are you still going to make me hate you sometimes?"
Max started laughing. "I'll do my best never to make you hate me again."
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That was a Monday, and we agreed he would pick me up Friday at a few minutes after 7.
When I walked in the house, Mom said, "What's made you so happy?"
"Mom, Max asked me out on a date. He's done as my PT guy and said he'd been waiting for this so he could ask me out."
"How do you feel about that?"
"You saw I was happy when I came in. That's how I feel."
Both of us were wiping away tears.
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Max picked me up, but insisted on coming inside to be introduced to my parents.
He took me to a mini-golf, where we played two rounds. I realized Max is athletic, and I was pretty sure he was trying hard not to beat me too badly.
We laughed a lot as we played, and I was having a lot of fun.
Afterwards, Max took me to JD's in Appleton. Although I love the food there, the best part was talking to Max and learning more about him.
"Maximilian, I got to know you as a PT-slash-terrorist, but now I want to know who you really are. Tell me about you."
"I grew up in Stevens Point and played basketball in high school."
"Were you good?"
"I started as a sophomore, so I guess so, but halfway through the season I tore my ACL."
"Oh no! Wait. So you had to go to PT?"
Max started laughing. "Yeah, I went through the torture myself. My PT was a guy named Brandon. Great guy. He didn't know my joke, but he gave it to me pretty straight, like I did to you the first day."
"An ACL is a long rehab, isn't it?"
"Yeah, but Brandon promised me if I did exactly as he said, even when I hated him, I would start the first game of the next season."
"So, did you?"
"I did, but Brandon told me something else. He said my problem would not be my knee. It would be trusting my knee. Having confidence to play hard again. He was right. First game, our coach took me out after the first quarter."
"Pain in your knee?"
"No, but I was playing timid. That week, coach sat me down and said he understood. My mind wasn't ready to play my aggressive game. He challenged me to have the courage to trust. Then he started me in the next game."
"How was it?"
"I didn't score until four minutes into the game. I saw an opportunity and made a sharp cut to the basket without the ball, got a great pass from our center, scored and got knocked down. I ended up scoring 20."
"That's great, Max. How did the season go?"
"I led our team in scoring that year and the next. I was undersized for college, so I didn't get a lot of interest from D1 schools, but by then I knew what I wanted to do."
"Physical Therapy?"
"Yeah. I stayed close, Wisconsin--Green Bay... they have a great PT program. One of the best in the nation. From day one, that's what I wanted."
"Then you went to work for the clinic when you got out?"
Max was smiling. "Not exactly. While I was in college, my mother died of cancer. During my senior year, Dad fell asleep driving back from Chicago and drove into a concrete column."
I reached out to put my hand on his shoulder.
"Max, I'm so sorry! That must have been an awful couple of years."
He wiped away a couple of tears.
"It wasn't fun. I was an only child, because my mother almost died giving birth to me and she was warned not to get pregnant again. When Dad died, I inherited everything. He had been a successful attorney in Green Bay, before moving to Stevens Point when I was in junior high. He had made a lot of money and they owned a big home along the Wisconsin River. I sold that, because I wanted to open the clinic."
"Wait! You're the owner?"
"Yeah. I guess this is a good time to confess something. I do a lot of intake interviews, like I did with you. I had read your file and wanted to do an assessment, but I planned to assign you to someone on my staff. I saw you--ok, you were a little beat up--..."
"A little? I was a mess. I barely made it into your building and down the hall."
"Well, as I said, you were in rough shape, but I also thought you were one of the prettiest girls I'd ever met."
"Seriously? I looked awful."
"I'm used to seeing through that. It probably wasn't my most ethical moment, but I decided to keep you as my patient. I usually handle college athletes."
"Why wasn't that ethical?"
"Long-term, I wanted to ask you out, but first I had to do the ethical thing and manage your case professionally, which I think I did."
"If you mean you made me hate you once a week, I'd say you did fine."
"It wasn't that bad, was it?"
"I took a picture of you one day on my phone, printed it out and threw darts at it when I came home pissed at you."
He was laughing hard over that.
"I love it. I guess I did alright then. I'd like to see that sometime, if you still have it."
"Max, I know I haven't thanked you enough for all you did for me. Seriously, I went home the first day feeling there was hope, and even on days I hated you, I knew you cared. I look at myself today and can hardly believe the difference."
I leaned over and hugged him. He wiped away a tear. So did I.
"Thanks, Ashley. That means a lot, despite you using my picture as a dart board."
"You own the clinic. I never knew that. How's the clinic doing as an investment? Is that rude of me to ask?"
"Not rude at all. It's doing exceptionally well. We handle a lot of the college athletes. Men and women. Also, of course, a lot of high school kids. I have seven therapists full-time and two who are about 10-20 hours a week, because they want fewer hours.
"Last year, I paid off the last business debt I had. The only debt I have now is a small mortgage on my home. I'll probably pay that off in the next 3-4 years.
"My inheritance got me a couple of other things as well. I bought a very nice home on the Fox River, with it's own dock, and I have a nice boat."
"Ok, promise me you'll take me on a date on your boat."
"Thanks for answering a question I planned to ask."
"Whether I wanted to see you again? I do, and not just for the boat. I like you, Max."
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When Max took me home, he walked me to the door. I was kind of hoping he might kiss me, but I wasn't at all surprised when he just kissed me on the cheek and thanked me for going out with him.
"Maximilian? When do I get to see you again? I'd rather not have to blow out a knee."
"Please don't! Would you like to go out Wednesday night for a fancy dinner? Get dressed up and have a nice steak?"
"I love steak! That sounds fun."
"I'll make a reservation and pick you up at 7."
"One other thing. You wanted me to start jogging, but I'm reluctant to run by myself."
"I don't want that. How would you like a running partner a couple of mornings each week. I could do Tuesday and Thursday if we can run at 7:30 am."
"You'd do that with me? Thanks."
"I'll be here those two mornings at 7:30."
"Good night, Max."
"'Night, Ashley."
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I was smiling when I walked in, and not surprised to find Mom close by, probably waiting to quiz me about our first date.
"Well? How was your date with Max?"
"Inquisition time?"
"I've been worried you might find it difficult to date again. I'm happy for you. Max seems really nice, and very polite."
"Mom, he's wonderful."
I told her everything I could remember about him, and about our next date.
Now Mom was wiping away a tear!
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I found it hard to wait for Wednesday. Max had gotten under my skin, or was it inside my heart? Fortunately, I would see him Tuesday morning for running, or in my case, shuffling slowly.
Mom and I talked Monday about what I should wear on our date, and she suggested we go shopping. I asked her what she had in mind.
"If you want to get a man's attention, a little black dress has been the benchmark for a long time."
That was what I bought. It was sexy, the sexiest thing I had over owned or worn. Mom said I should buy matching intimate clothing, so I found a bra and panty set I liked. She asked about black stockings. I chose pull-ups, and then went to find a sexy pair of heels.
When I picked up the stockings, Mom whispered in my ear that someday I should pick up a garter belt for an even sexier look. I was shocked to hear that from Mom, but a week later I went and bought one and stockings that worked better with it.
Tuesday morning, I was waiting when Max pulled up in front of the house. I ran out and hugged him.
"Have you run in your neighborhood at all?"
"Never, and I have no idea how far I can run. I know I'll start very slow, because my ankle needs time to loosen up."
"Let's start out and find out. Nice, easy pace, ok?"
We jogged, and I knew he would have run much faster by himself. Heck, I knew he would have run faster backwards! I loved that he would do this for me. When we got back, he thought we had run about two miles. I was beat.
"I'm sorry I'm so slow and can't run far yet."
Max hugged me. "This is why we're running, so you can built up endurance."
For some reason, my first thought was endurance in bed.
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Wednesday night, when Max came to the door, I was surprised at how handsome he was in his suit. I think I surprised him as well. I know I had never felt sexier than I did at that moment.
I liked wearing the black stockings because they hid some scars on my leg. I knew Max had seen them many times; he knew all about them. Still, I felt prettier with them hidden.
"Ashley, you're gorgeous. I've seen you for months, starting near your worst. I knew from the outset you were beautiful, but I had no idea you'd look this fantastic."
"Thanks, Maximilian. I love a man in a suit, and you're incredibly handsome tonight. I never explained, but Maximilian the First was the name of a Holy Roman Emperor, a Habsburg, who made Innsbruck the location of his court around 1500. Leonardo Da Vinci planned his second wedding. He was a fascinating ruler."
"Well, I guess it's a term of honor then."
I took his arm when he offered it to me, and he walked me to the car and opened the door for me. It was now late April, and we were having something of a warm spell, so I didn't wear a coat or even a jacket that night.
Max took me to Republic Chophouse, a veritable institution and one of the finest steak houses in the area. As we rode in the car, I looked down at my legs. I liked the way my short LBD showed them off. I noticed him looking, too.
At the restaurant, I took a quick glance at the menu and was shocked at the prices.
"Ashley, please don't even look at the prices. I want you to order whatever you want. I'm getting the Wagyu Strip."
I looked on the menu and found it under a category of aged cuts. It was a 14 ounce steak that was over $80.
"Thanks, Max. I'm looking at the Tenderloin in that same area of the menu, not because it costs less, but because it's only 8 ounces."
We ordered our food and Max asked me a question I struggled to answer.
"Ashley, I talked a lot about myself on our first date, because you asked a lot of questions about me. It's my turn to ask. Tell me about Michael."
My eyes filled with tears immediately, and Max saw it.
"Ash, never mind. That may still be too raw a subject for you."
"No, Max, I want to answer it. Michael and I met in high school as part of a group that hung out a lot. We never dated, except as a herd."
Max laughed over that. I was still wiping away tears.
"When we went to college--we both went to Northwestern, it was natural for us to get together there, to hang out. Late in our sophomore year, we went out on our first official date, a typical student date. Cheap.
"We dated through the summer and our junior year. Then we moved in together at the beginning of our senior year. Michael proposed to me over Christmas.
"I know that's not exactly what you asked, but I thought I should start there.
"Michael was bright--he got a degree in Computer Science--and funny. He was kind and patient. He always opened the car door for me. He said I would be in trouble if I opened it, unless he had become a zombie!"
"I like that. Nice sense of humor, right?"
"Sweet sense of humor. He never said anything mean about anyone. He was a better person than I am."
"I'm sure you think of him every day. Dad said that after Mom died. He thought of her every day."
"I do, but it's no longer loaded with grief. I think of him fondly, grateful I survived and am healthy again--thanks largely to you--and knowing I'll love again."
"That's a healthy way of dealing with it. I know how hard it was to lose my parents. I think of them, especially my mother, every day. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose the love of your life."
"Max, he was my first real love, but I know I'll love someone again with all my heart, and this one will be for life. Who knows, it might even be you."
I blushed immediately when I said that.
He didn't say anything, but took my hand in his.
Our food was served, rescuing me from my self-inflicted embarrassment.
After a few minutes, Max spoke again.
"Michael studied computer science. What did you graduate in?"
"History. I wanted to get a master's in Medieval European History."
"Is that still what you want to do?"
"I don't know. Until I answer that question, I'm content to continue my recovery and enjoy being with my parents again. They've made it clear I shouldn't feel any need to move out."
"That's supportive of them. Really nice. If you could travel anywhere for two weeks, where would you choose?"
"Fun question! I think I would want to be in the Alpine countries; Switzerland, Austria and Italy. I know there are branches of the Alps in Croatia as well, but that general region. Not just spending time in the Alps, but Salzburg, Florence... Vienna. I know Florence is a long distance from the Alps, but that's on my bucket list, so why not?
"What about you? Where would you go?"
"Europe. I've never been anywhere in Europe."
"Max, how old are you? That feels awkward to ask, but I'm curious."
"I just turned 32. Did you recently turn 23?"
"I did. On March 23rd. When was yours?"
"February 11th."
"Both of us have birthdays that are prime numbers."
"I thought you majored in history."
"I did, but math was my favorite subject in high school. I discovered history in college."
"Peeling back layers. Just like Donkey and Shrek."
That made me laugh. "Ok, since you brought it up. Favorite show on Apple TV."
"That's very specific, but easy for me. Ted Lasso."
"Oh, I love that, too! I also love Silo."
"Another good one."
As we walked out of the restaurant, Max held my hand. I wanted him to kiss me when he walked me to the door, but he just kissed my cheek again.
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We ran the next morning. It was the same route and I was exhausted.
"Ash, next week, let's stick with the same distance both times, but a little faster pace."
"Don't make me hate you."
He was laughing. "I can't avoid thinking of you as my patient still."
"Is that why you haven't kissed me?"
"Ummm,... I just... I've worried that with losing Michael, you might not be ready for that."
"I get that, and it's sweet of you, but Max, I like you and I'd welcome a kiss with you. Of course, I'd like to go out with you again as well."
"We're supposed to have good weather for a few more days. How about spending an afternoon boating on the river Saturday. Can I pick you up at 1?"
"That sounds like a lot of fun. How should I dress?"
"Wear a swimsuit under your outer clothes. Bring a jacket and some sun screen. If you have any water shoes, those are a good idea. I'll bring food and water. Oh, and bring a change of clothes. We can go to dinner that evening. Just casual."
I was so excited for Saturday, a beautiful day in early May on the river with Max. I tried not to show my excitement at home, at least not too much, because it led to lots of questions from Mom.
When Max picked me up, he drove me to his house. I hadn't focused on the fact his boat was at his dock which was at his house.
"Are you going to show me your house, Maximilian?"
"I thought I would after boating. We can change clothes there."
Max parked in his driveway and there was a paved path that curved back and forth to slowly descend to the river. He had obviously been down there earlier, because there was a cooler on the dock.
It looked like a nice boat, by what did I know?
"We're not required to wear life jackets in the boat, but if you want one, they're in that storage locker next to you."
Max took off his sweatshirt and long pants, leaving a swimsuit and T-shirt. He looked so hot in that suit! I could see the scar on his knee.
I decided to go for it. I took off my sweatshirt and pants, and made sure Max would get an eye full of my skimpy bikini. I had gone out the day before to find a new suit, and chose this red suit that was a thong in back and was clearly not full coverage on top! When I dressed that morning, I checked myself out in the mirror and my boobs looked bigger than their actual 34B size.
I knew Max was looking at me as I stored my clothes in the locker.
Once we got underway, he cruised down the river to the bridge, and then opened it up for the run upstream. His boat had a lot of power and I sat in the other captain's chair watching him.
He was wearing sunglasses and the wind was blowing his hair. Max had talked about being undersized for college ball, but my guess was he was about 6 feet tall, so next to my 5'5" he was tall.
As I sat there watching him and then the river, and then him again, I became aware of the physical attraction I felt for him. That's a weak way of saying it. I was hot for him!
"Max, this might be a nosy question, but the houses near yours look big and expensive. Was yours as well?"
"It's not the most expensive on that street, or the largest, but 8 years ago I paid $950,000 for it."
"How big is it?"
"About 3000 square feet. A little over. Four bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms and a large kitchen. I remodeled the master bath and the walk-in closet in the master bedroom a couple of years ago."
"And it's just you?"
"Yeah. I figured at some point I'd marry and have a family."
After a few minutes, Max slowed the boat and we eased over to a marked swimming area attached to a city park. We dropped anchor and dove in and swam under the buoys and into the swimming area. The water was incredibly cold, and I knew instantly my nipples would be hard and impossible for Max not to stare at.
When we reached shallower water, I stood and walked toward Max. He was staring.
I hugged him.
"Thanks for taking me out on your boat today. This is fun, so I hope we get to do it again. By the way, you look very sexy in your swimsuit."
With that, I swam away.
After a few minutes, we boarded the boat and Max handed me a towel. I put it around my shoulders for a little warmth.
We cruised around for another half hour or so, and then headed back to his dock. Instead of getting off the boat, he opened the cooler and handed me a sandwich. There were some drinks in the cooler, so I took a Diet Coke.
We sat at the little table in the stern. The sun was warm, and I had discarded the towel. It was fun to eat lunch there, and we had a great time talking. There was something I'd wanted to ask.
"Max, have you ever been married?"
"No. I've only had one serious girlfriend, but that didn't work out."
"Do you mind me asking why?"
"We had been dating for about six months before I opened the clinic. I was working long hours, trying to make sure I was taking home enough income. She got tired of it and broke up with me."
"What was her name?"
"Kathleen."
"Is that someone you hoped to marry?"
"Perhaps. I wasn't sure, so it was probably a good thing she walked away."
"Did you live together?"
"No, and that was part of her unhappiness with me."
"She wanted to?"
"Yeah. Hey, let's store stuff away and head up to the house. Then we can change and go to dinner."
I finally got the tour of his house. It felt immense, partly because it was under furnished, leaving a lot of open space. He showed me a large room downstairs, what he called a "family room," and one bedroom and a bath down there.
The master suite was on the ground floor, with a professional-looking office and a huge living room and kitchen. It had a formal dining room and a breakfast nook off the kitchen. In the hallway was a guest bathroom. The half bath.
There was also an upstairs with two bedrooms and a bathroom.
The master suite was beautiful, something that surprised me, given his bachelor state. The remodeled bathroom was elegant, something out of a magazine. What he called the "walk-in closet" was the size of another room.
"Do you want to change in the bathroom, Ashley? You can also use the closet. It's like a changing room."
"Thanks, I'll be quick."
--------[]-----[]--------
Max took me to a Mexican restaurant I'd never been to, but one of his favorites, he said. The food was great, but we weren't talking much. I wasn't sure why. I tried, but it seemed something was on his mind.
When I finished eating, I stood and moved over next to him in our booth. I put my arm around him.
"Hey, Max, what's bothering you? Talk to me, please."
"I like you a lot Ashley, but I wasn't totally truthful when I talked about Kathleen. It feels like you and I are on the edge of moving into a new phase in our relationship and I need to be open about something."
"I hope you know you can tell me anything."
"Kathleen left for one reason only. She wanted us to live together and I refused."
"What reason did you give her?"
"The truth. Look, I know you and Michael lived together, so I'm worried this may come between us as well."
"Give me a chance to prove you wrong."
He took a deep breath.
"When Mom was diagnosed with cancer, we had some long talks. Some of the best I ever had with her. I was a freshman in college, just turned 19. She told me she and Dad decided early in their dating they would wait until their wedding night."
"I said I thought everyone did back then, but she laughed and said it wasn't much different from now, maybe not as public, though."
"I think that's true."
"I asked why they decided that. She said Dad told her she didn't want her to ever think he was there just for the sex. He wanted their wedding night to symbolize the way they were giving themselves to each other, trusting each other with their future lives."
"That's sweet."
"I thought so, too, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted that for myself. When Mom was dying, I thanked her for what she had taught me, and that I wanted to wait as well."
I hugged Max more tightly.
"You're a really good man, Max. You spoke of a new phase."
"Ashley, I like you a lot. I know you want us to kiss--hell, I want to kiss you! I just don't want a repeat of Kathleen, so I wanted to tell you now. As I see it, we're becoming more serious about each other."
We sat silently. I was stuck on a "new phase" and how I felt about it. I was suddenly scared.
"Thanks Max. I appreciate what you've told me. Michael and I lived together. I hope you aren't judging me."
"No! Absolutely not. This has nothing to do with choices you or anyone else makes. It's only about a choice I'm making.
"Ashley, I'm not a virgin. Right before that talk with Mom, I had a girlfriend and we were constantly doing the college student thing. Leave a hanger on the door to let a roommate know to get lost for awhile. When we broke up, I decided to change."
"Max, I like you a lot as well. I appreciate your unwillingness to take our relationship further without having this talk. Can I think this over?"
"Of course. Do you want me to take you home?"
"I think so. This has been such a great day, Max. I hope we can do it again."
I kissed him on the cheek and he drove me home.
--------[]-----[]--------
"What's troubling you? It's written on your face. Problem with Max?"
"Sort of."
I told her about our talk in the restaurant. There were tears in my eyes.
"Why does that trouble you?"
"I'm not sure I know. Michael and I talked about our wedding night and how it wouldn't be that grand symbolic act, but we said we had already experienced that, and it would still be special. Then Max was talking about our wedding night, and wanting to wait."
"Is that all you got from what Max told you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Despite knowing how great sex is, he's willing to prove his devotion to you, and to you only, by waiting for something better. He's the opposite of the guy who always wants instant gratification. He's proving he isn't going to use you and walk away.
"Do you really want to walk away from that?"
I was quiet for several seconds.
"Mom, I think I love Max."
"It seems to me you communicated something else, like no sex was a deal breaker."
"I'm scared."
"Of love?"
"Yeah. I realized Max was talking about things I had only shared with Michael. I suddenly felt like I was being untrue to Michael. I know that's not true, at least in my head."
"Well, now we've reached the central issue, haven't we? Do you love Max?"
"Yes."
"Then tell him. I think your fears will be swallowed up in your love for him. How did you leave things with him?"
"I told him I needed to think."
"You needed to think about whether you loved him, but what he heard probably convinced him you were another Kathleen."
"I need to go see him!"
I pulled out my phone and called Max.
"Max, I need to come and see you!... No, I want to come to you. I'm leaving now."
--------[]-----[]--------
I cried all the way to his house. I parked my car, got out and ran to the front door. He opened it before I rang the bell.
I threw myself into his arms.
"Max, I love you!"
I was crying, getting tears all over his shirt.
"Ashley, come and sit with me."
"I realized when I talked with Mom that I had given you the wrong impression about what you told me about waiting. Waiting doesn't bother me."
"Well then, what does?"
"I wanted to tell you I love you, but it scared me."
"Ashley, I love you. I haven't been scared to tell you that, but I was worried how you might react after I told you I wanted to wait for marriage. That scared me. I didn't want another Kathleen experience."
"I know that's what it sounded like, but Max, you're too wonderful to walk away from. I need to tell you about thoughts I've had.
"As Michael and I got to our wedding day, we both thought about how our wedding night would be a little anticlimactic, like we wished it would be a truly unique experience for us to share as newlyweds. We rationalized that we had just experienced it earlier.
"What you said today was perfect. The more I thought about it the more I've come to see the wisdom in waiting. The symbol of devotion to each other only.
"Mom told me something else. She said you are willing to demonstrate your resistance to instant gratification, valuing your love for me more. I also think she was telling me I was a fool."
Max laughed. Then our eyes met, and we kissed.
"For what it's worth, I don't think you're a fool."
"Kiss me again, please."
That man can kiss! I was on fire as our tongues explored.
When we finally broke for air, I snuggled next to him, loving the feel of his warmth and the size of his body wrapped around me.
"Maximilian, I think I teased you too much today. I mean with my swimsuit and my hard nipples from the cold water."
"It was a severe test of my will."
We both laughed. He held me tighter. Then we kissed again.
"Since we've clearly moved to a new stage, can I ask you something? I guess even this question signals yet another stage. Do you want children, Max?"
"Look at this house! Count the bedrooms. The only thing I need is to install a fence at the bottom of the property with a childproof gate to the dock and the river."
"Well, I beg to differ. You might need a wife even before that."
Max turned red as he laughed.
"Sorry, Ashley. The truth is, for a moment I was thinking in terms of after you and I marry."
"Be honest with me, Max. How long have you been thinking about us getting married?"
"I'm embarrassed to say it, but I started thinking about it before our first date."
"Why does that embarrass you?"
"I was supposed to be your dedicated PT."
"You're going to laugh when I tell you the moment I first thought I might marry you. Remember me telling you about the photo of you I printed out and threw darts at when I came home hating you? One day I threw a dart, and it hit right on the tip of your nose. I stood there and thought, 'I'm going to marry him some day. Why am I throwing darts at him?'
"Tonight, before I came over, I ran upstairs and grabbed it to show you. I drew a circle around the hole on your nose."
I reached in my pocket and handed him the photo.
"Ouch! There's a lot of holes in my face. A lot of hate."
"Ok, don't dwell on the number, just remember the one."
He was counting anyway.
"56."
"I wish that was all, but there were a lot that missed entirely."
"If we marry, I'm putting up one of these for when you're mad at me."
"Max, that's what make-up sex is for."
--------[]-----[]--------
When I walked in the house, Mom was there. Of course.
"Well? How did it go?"
"We kissed. He told me he loves me. I told him I love him. We kissed more."
Mom hugged me.
When I ran up the stairs to my room--it's a habit now--my phone buzzed. A text from Max.
I love you with all my heart!
Below it was a GIF of a beating heart.
I was wiping tears from my eyes. I texted back.
FYI. I put up a new copy of your photo. This one is for me to kiss when I think about how much I love you. It's going to get soggy.
--------[]-----[]--------
I didn't hear from Max all day Sunday. That evening, just after dark, the doorbell rang. Max was standing there in his suit, with a dozen roses. My eyes filled with tears.
"I came for three reasons, to give you these roses, to tell you I love you, and to kiss you."
He grabbed me, wrapped me in his arms, and kissed me hard.
Mom walked out of the kitchen, having heard the doorbell and wondering who was at the door. Our eyes met and she smiled and disappeared into the kitchen.
I was gasping for air when we stopped kissing.
"I also wanted to know if you would like to wear your little black dress again and join me for dinner Tuesday evening. I'll pick you up at 7."
"I'd love to."
He kissed me again, like there was no tomorrow!
I put the roses in my room so I could see them from my bed.
--------[]-----[]--------
I texted him Monday.
Are we still running tomorrow morning at 7:30?
His reply was almost immediate.
At the risk of you throwing a dart, yes.
I smiled and thought about how much I loved him. I kissed his photo.
The next morning, we kissed before we started running. That was a great way to begin our run. Max warned me he was going to set the pace. It would be a little faster than what we had done before, but he thought I could keep up.
Somehow, I did. I was still exhausted, but happy I had kept up.
Max put his arms around me and told me how well I had done. I was still gasping for breath.
--------[]-----[]--------
The next night I wore my LBD, and so I would feel even sexier, I wore the garter belt and stockings. I hoped the day would come when Max would remove my dress and discover what I was wearing underneath.
Max took me to a wonderful restaurant, the first place where I had seen most of the diners dressed nicely. I ordered Sea Bass and Max had a New York Strip. We were both happy that night, having reached what in my high school calculus would have been termed an inflection point.
We ordered one dessert to share and had fun feeding it to each other. The fun kind of thing people do in a new love affair.
Max drove to his house and we sat on the sofa and talked.
"Ashley, there's been something on my mind after all our talks this past week. I'm not sure how to ask, but let me take a stab at it.
"Do you feel you should mourn or need to mourn for Michael for some period of time?"
"You mean like wear black for a year?"
"That was a tradition for a long time, because it signaled to others you were in mourning."
I didn't have any idea what he was hinting at.
"What are you getting at, Max?"
There was a long pause.
"I suppose this is one of those moments when you might choose from three answers: yes, no, and not right now."
Max stood up and got down on one knee.
I suddenly got it!
"Ashley, I know we haven't been dating long, but in a sense, we've spent months together several times a week. I know you better than any woman I've ever known, and I've fallen in love with you. I realized this week how much I want to spend my life as your husband.
"Will you marry me?"
I was wiping away tears, but inside I was happier than I had been in a long time.
"Now I understand what you were hinting about. You were concerned I might feel it was too soon to accept your proposal, right?"
"That's the issue as I saw it."
"Well mister physical therapist-slash-terrorist, it just so happens I want to marry you as well, so you saved me the trouble of proposing to you. Max, I love you and want to be your wife, and I really want you as my husband. Most of all, I can hardly wait for our wedding night!"
We were hugging and laughing about our weird proposal night. One for family stories for decades.
"Ashley, I told you I want children, but I never asked you."
"I'm not available to be your child; I already claimed the role of wife. However, as your wife, I'll insist you get me pregnant several times."
"Being married to you is going to be fun."
"We need to tell my parents. Wait! Did you talk to my father?"
"He and I had lunch yesterday"
"So he knows."
"Yes, but he swore he wouldn't tell your mother. We need to go do that."
--------[]-----[]--------
As we drove, I insisted on holding Max's hand. I was incredibly happy.
"Maximilian, remember after we took your boat out how I later apologized for teasing you with my skimpy bikini and hard nipples from the cold water?
"If I said I didn't remember, you'd know I was lying."
"I will need to apologize for this also, but without describing it, I'm wearing incredibly sexy things under this little black dress."
"I'll be taking a cold shower tonight, and I'm guessing it won't be the last."
When we arrived at my home, we walked in and found Mom and Dad in the kitchen.
"We're engaged!"
I hugged Mom, who seemed not to have known. I saw Max and Dad shake hands.
Mr. and Mrs. Harrison,..."
"Max, please call us Frank and Sharon."
"I'll work on that. Frank and Sharon, I love Ashley. Thank you for raising such a beautiful daughter, inside and out."
Then Max turned to me.
"Ashley, I've already arranged to take the day off tomorrow. Let's go shopping for rings."
--------[]-----[]--------
As we were driving to a jewelry store at the mall, I told Max about the lawsuit and the settlement. It was on my mind, because the check had arrived in the mail that day. Dad's CPA had explained part of the settlement was non-taxable, but he gave me a dollar amount not to touch, but to hold for taxes.
"I'm marrying a wealthy woman."
"Yes, Maximilian, you are, but I'm not happy about how I got the money."
Max pulled over and put it in park. He turned to me and wrapped his arms around me.
"That's your money Ashley, not mine. Everything I have will be ours, but you keep that."
I wasn't sure how I felt about not sharing everything with Max. I needed to think about it.
It didn't take me long to find a ring I loved, but I was worried when the jeweler said it had a one carat diamond in the setting.
I think Max saw the look on my face.
"Ashley, do you like the ring?"
"Yes, but..."
"But nothing. I want to buy it for you so I can put it on your finger."
I hugged him. I had tears in my eyes, but that turned to a flood a few minutes later, when he slipped the ring on my finger.
We got in the car, but I asked Max to wait so we could talk.
"We both want children, and I'd like to get pregnant soon, so I want to stop taking birth control pills. Is that ok with you?"
"If you're ready, I am. I want a family with you, so let's get you pregnant on our honeymoon."
"Speaking of our honeymoon, we need to talk about a date for our wedding. I know it's too soon anyway, but it can't be on June 5th."
"Is that the date of your wedding with Michael, and..."
"Yeah, and his death. I want to be sure to visit his grave that day. In fact, I haven't been there yet. I've been afraid to go."
"May I take you tomorrow? Would that help?"
"Thanks, Max. I think your support would be great."
Michael's mother had given me a map she drew, to help me find Michael's grave. Max drove, and held my hand as we walked across the grass, searching for the grave. When we found it, I knelt beside it.
I hated seeing Michael's name on that headstone. I was crying.
Max knelt beside me. "Is it ok if I put my arms around you?"
"Please do, Max."
He held me there as I cried. I was worried he might resent my feelings for Michael, but as usual, he sensed what I might be thinking.
"I'm glad you can come here and remember Michael. Thanks for letting me come with you. If it's ok with you, I'd like to make this a thing we do every June 5th."
--------[]-----[]--------
We were deep into wedding planning, and I often met Max at his clinic to have lunch together.
We had been engaged for about a month, and the wedding was scheduled for September. My phone rang. I was just getting into the car to meet Max for lunch. I saw he was calling.
"Hey Maximilian! I'm leaving now."
"No, Ash. I'm not there, but I'm ok."
"What happened?"
I could feel panic in my voice.
"I'm at the hospital, but I'm going to be alright."
"Going to be? Max, what happened?"
"I was in a car accident. A young girl, a new driver, ran a stop sign."
Full-on panic now. "Are you hurt?"
"I think I'm just bruised. I'm gonna be sore, but they just took another X-ray of my wrist. I'm still in the ER, waiting on that. Ash, I'd tell you not to bother coming here, but I know you will anyway. I guess I need a ride, though. I think my car will be totaled."
I was there in a flash, probably lucky not to have gotten a speeding ticket. I ran to the ER doors and asked where Max was.
When I found him, I ran to the bed and hugged him as I cried.
"You scared me, Max."
"I knew it would freak you out, but it really is nothing. I'm just sore."
His doctor walked in and we were introduced. He took a long look.
"So, you're Ashley Montgomery. I was here the night you were brought in. I hope you don't mind me saying, but you were a mess."
"I know. Thanks to you and the other doctors, and to my physical therapist here, I'm doing well now."
"Congratulations on your engagement! Would you drop off one of your announcements? I think a lot of the staff here would love to see that."
"Now, Max. Two of us have stared at both x-rays of your wrist. We can't find a break, but it seems clear you stretched some things. If you know a good physical therapist, I'd recommend that.'
He was grinning as he said that.
"Doctor Benning, I'll be handling Mr. Peterson's case. He'll be in good hands, however, if he uses our engagement photo as a dart board, he'll be back for a cast."
Max filled him in on my use of his photo as a dart board on days I hated him.
"Well, I know better than to get in the middle of that. I think you'll be well cared for Max. I'm going to sign the discharge order. I assume Ashley is your ride, so you know the drill. You get a wheelchair escort to the front door."
"Ashley, congratulations. It's so good to see you again. Now I can think of you like this instead of the way I remembered you from before."
--------[]-----[]--------
About a week later, Max got a check from his insurance company for the replacement value of his car. It was only enough to buy a used car.
"Max, come with me. Get in my car."
I drove to the local Lexus dealer. I had been there the week before to pick out the car I wanted. I got an SUV, but I was sorely tempted by a sedan. We went inside and I found the salesman I had worked with.
"Dallin, this is my fiancée, Max. I'm here to buy him a wedding present to replace the car that was recently totaled when someone ran a stop sign."
"Ashley, wait. You can't do this."
"Don't you know better by now than to tell me I can't do something?"
"Dallin, let's see what he thinks of the LS."
Over a great deal of protest from Max, I finally got him excited about a silver LS. Not silver, but 'Iridium.' It had a black leather interior. It was gorgeous, which was why I almost bought one for myself.
While Dallin was preparing paperwork, Max renewed his objection, but I wasn't budging.
"Max, it rubbed me the wrong way when you told me all of your money was ours, but my money from the accident was mine only. I'm buying this for you as my wedding present. Don't make me get out the dart board. The most I'll allow is for you to contribute your insurance money to the cost."
He laughed and finally shut up.
He drove it home and parked it in his garage. Then he hugged me so hard I couldn't breathe
"Thanks, Ashley. I love you. Best fiancée ever.
"I'm going to be your only wife ever."
--------[]-----[]--------
It was September 2nd, the date we had chosen for our wedding. Max drove his Lexus to the wedding. I was already there, and had been for a couple of hours, when he stuck his head in the door.
"Good timing, Maximilian. I'm about to don the wedding dress."
"You are gorgeous, babe!"
Then he leaned over and whispered in my ear.
"I get to undress you tonight, kiss your breasts, go down on you, and..."
"All right! That's enough of teasing me mercilessly. Luv ya, babe. See you in an hour, then you get to have your way with Ashley Peterson."
That night, we drove to his house and took an Uber to the Hotel Northland, in Green Bay. I refused to allow Max to drive us anywhere right after our wedding. That was too frightening for me.
There would be an Uber to the airport after two nights here. Max was taking me to Florence!
He had reserved a King suite for us, and we arrived at about 7 pm. The room was wonderful, but we were both nervous. Longing to make love, but nervous.
We had made it. There were some moments when it took all our resolve to continue waiting, but now our wedding night had arrived.
I told Max to wear pair of black silk boxers I had bought for him.
I went into the bathroom. Why was I so nervous? I wanted this to be wonderful.
When I was ready, I turned out the bathroom light and opened the door. Max had doused all the lights, but the curtains were open, allowing city lights to illuminate the room.
He stared at me and smiled.
I knew I was beautiful. This was my dream with Max. This moment. I was wearing my black bra and thong, with a black garter belt and stockings. Mom whispered to me earlier to put the thong on last. I gave her a puzzled look, but figured it out quickly.
It's about access.
I stood in that dim light, looking at my gorgeous husband as he looked at me. We met in the middle of the room and kissed. Almost immediately, Max was caressing my ass with one hand and a breast with the other.
Of course, I also had a firm grip on something large and hard and hot! I reached inside his boxers to hold him in my hand and then knelt and used my free hand to pull the boxers to the floor.
I looked up at Max as I stroked him with my hand. He was big, larger than I expected. My hand looked tiny as I held it.
I put him in my mouth. Max groaned. Using lips and tongue, I drove him rapidly towards ejaculation. Stopping short of it, I stood and whispered in his ear, "I want your first explosion inside me."
Max removed my bra as he played with my breasts, then laid me on the bed. He removed my thong, exposing my tiny landing strip and my pussy to his view.
He drove me wild as he kissed and licked my breasts, He avoided my nipples, which frustrated me.
"Please suck on my nipples!:
He relented and I gasped as he drew a nipple between his lips and pulled. I held his head, but he moved to my other nipple. He kissed his way down my trembling body until, by using his hands, he opened my lips and licked the tender flesh inside. His tongue pleased me, thrilled me, tormented me.
I was rapidly approaching a tidal wave of orgasm, which burst when he shoved his tongue inside me and thrust it in and out, like a tiny penis. It was intense. My body twisted as I tried to escape the overwhelming pleasure.
I cried out, clutching at his head as he continued. It became more difficult to breathe when he inserted a finger inside me and rubbed my G-spot. I couldn't catch my breath!
"Oh please!... Max... please enter me... take me!"
I felt his body lift off me and move up, stopping to suck on a nipple again. I cried loudly.
He positioned himself at my tunnel, and I waited, wanting it. I felt the tip of his cock enter me, move in and out slowly, and then plunge into my depths.
I think I screamed. It was so sudden, he was so big, the feeling so wonderful!
My mouth was open as he started thrusting slowly. I was full, stretched.
"Oh yes... please Max... faster."
He ignored my pleas! I wanted him deeper and faster, yet he maddingly kept a slow and steady pace.
For a fleeting moment I saw my dartboard!
He paused, withdrew most of the way, and stroked shallowly, several times. I loved his focus on the nerves in my entry. Then he slammed back into me and I moaned loudly.
Now it was simply a barrage of thrusts, faster and deeper. I tried to roll my pelvis in time with each thrust. He was too fast. All I could do was absorb each impact, each slide of his shaft deep into me, each cry extracted from me.
I was gasping.
I felt his cock get bigger, then he pushed deep inside me and exploded. It felt wonderful!
My arms held him tightly. My legs were splayed out widely to accommodate the size of his body.
I didn't want that ecstasy to end. Ever.
Slowly, however, it did. His throbbing stopped, and both of us began breathing again.
I whispered in his ear.
"Max, that was the most intense thing I've ever felt."
I started crying, but I didn't know why. My emotions were swamped by what I had felt, both inside me and in my heart. I never wanted to let go.
"Let me live my life underneath you, with you inside me," I thought.
"Oh Max! I love you so much."
"Can you breathe, Ashley?"
I nodded and squeezed him tightly again.
I felt his cock pull out of me. I was empty.
Max moved beside me and put his arms around me. We lay there together for several minutes.
"Would you like some water?"
What a sweet man. "Please."
"Babe, you are the sexiest woman I've ever known, and a tiger in bed!"
"Are you kidding? I was powerless before your onslaught. It was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced."
I reached down and took hold of his cock, now limp and covered with my juices and his cum.
"I love this! You're big. I felt stretched, filled, pinned to the bed, and all I could do was hold on while you pounded me. Fabulous!"
"Babe, I love the lingerie. Is this what you were wearing under your little black dress?"
"It was. I thought you might like it."
"When you've worn that dress, I've always been hard. Little did I know what was lurking beneath."
"Baby, would you make love to me again?"
"My choice how?"
"Max, you do me any way you want."
Thirty glorious minutes later, I was gasping for breath as Max held me in his arms.
He had grabbed my feet and pulled me to the bottom of the bed and then turned me face down.
He knelt behind me and kissed my back, my thighs, and my ass cheeks. He licked my pussy and had a finger inside me until I climaxed. He stood and teased my pussy with his cock, dragging it around and through my wet folds, until I was craving his hard organ.
He slowly entered me and pushed continuously until he was fully inside me. His depth felt amazing. Before he began to thrust, he leaned over and kissed my back several times. I was trembling under his touch.
His thrusts began, and every impact made me cry out. He was relentless again, hammering me. His plunges were deep!
Then, instead of standing behind me, he put his knees on the bed, on either side of me and began plunging into me from that angle.
My body was racing to another climax, and it hit just as he lunged a final time and came inside me.
A few minutes later, Max undressed me and we showered together. I was facing him and his arms were around me.
I felt loved.
--------[]-----[]--------
We slept wonderfully that night, Max put his arm around me and I turned toward him and put my arm across him. He pulled me tightly against his body.
We went down for breakfast the next morning, but spent the rest of the day in our room. We talked, read about Florence and napped together. We also made love a couple of times.
I couldn't get enough of Max!
I loved being with him. Not only sexually, but hanging out, sitting on a sofa reading, or talking. We'd spent a huge amount of time together this past year, but now it was more intimate.
"Max, when did you know you were in love with me?"
"I can't tell you the date, but I remember what happened. I think you'll remember it, too. We'd been working hard that week. It was a Friday and you looked like you were having to drag yourself in the door."
"Was that the day I was crying?"
"Yeah. We always started by talking for a few minutes. I wanted to see how you felt, what hurt, what your mind set was. That day you were hurting. The worst I think I saw with you. I really think that was your hardest moment in rehab. I realized you couldn't handle another hard workout."
"I remember that. We played air hockey!"
"Yeah, you had never played it but once we started, your smile came back. I had so much fun watching your smile again. Suddenly, I knew I was in love with you."
"I remember beating you, but later I realized you let me win."
"I can neither confirm nor deny throwing that game. However, I learned how competitive you are."
I kissed him.
--------[]-----[]--------
We were on the plane headed to Florence. This was such a bucket list thing for me that I could hardly wait. We had a nice hotel close to the Santa Maria Novella train station. Max had never been to Europe, so it was all new for him.
The five days we spent there were magical. Max and I were having this wonderful experience at the beginning of our life together, loving the food and everything we saw.
Each night, after walking all over Florence, we returned to our room and made love. We were in a magical place as we grew together. I was learning about Max and his wonderful body, and he was learning about mine. Sex kept getting better.
------[]------
We were back home, which for me meant moving my things into Max's house--our house now--and getting used to a daily routine together.
I was trying to figure out how to pursue my master's degree in history. The nearest in-state school offering an MA was in Milwaukee, but that was too far to commute, and I absolutely did not want to live distant from Max.
I started researching online schools and found American Public University, which seems to have a good reputation and is entirely online, with a lot of flexibility. One of the things I love about the APU option is the tuition. It would cost about $17,000 to get my master's, whether I moved at lightning speed or took my time. I would even have access to the school's library online. That's really the library of the future isn't it? No book is ever unavailable.
I decided to apply that week and started my first couple of classes--online, of course.
Then life threw me a curve, or perhaps it was because I threw Max my curves! I met Max for lunch and casually slid a home pregnancy test across his desk. I had waited until he looked away for a moment, so when he looked back, it took a second or two to focus on what it was.
"You're pregnant? Ashley, that's wonderful!"
He stood and came around his desk and pulled me to my feet, hugging me tightly.
"When can we find out if it's a boy or a girl?"
"I need to see my Ob/Gyn, but I think in about a month we can get a sonogram. Which do you want, Maximilian?"
"I really don't care. I'll love either the same. Have you told anyone else?"
"No, and I'd like to wait until it's confirmed by my doctor, ok?"
"I'm going to get a fence contractor to build a fence for me."
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Max and I decided to take the boat out one last time and enjoy it as a married couple before the weather turned cold. I wore a one-piece suit that Max swore was sexier than my bikini. I suspect he was serious about that, because we no sooner entered the house afterwards than he pulled my swimsuit off me and spread me out on the dining room table.
He held my ankles widely apart as he thrust into me, ultimately exploding inside me as I climaxed.
I think my pregnancy inspired him because we enjoyed several particularly steamy sessions that week, and my hips hurt.
I was glad I had chosen an online program, because Max held me in his arms in bed each night, something I craved and would have missed with another program.
--------[]-----[]--------
The day of the sonogram, Max was holding my hand as the technician prepped me. Neither of us could make sense of the screen, but she announced we were having a daughter.
I cried. It was suddenly so real.
The week before the sonogram we decided to tell my parents. Mom cried and hugged me. Even Dad was wiping away tears. He shook Max's hand and hugged him.
--------[]-----[]--------
I was loving my courses, and added one more. I enjoyed having time to see Max for lunch, spend time reading for my classes, and thinking about names for our daughter. I talked with Max about several, but neither of us had yet heard one we wanted.
"Ash, maybe when we see her and hold her for the first time, it'll be more obvious."
That made sense to me.
Three months before my due date, Mom held a baby shower for me. I was amazed at how many women came and I was embarrassed by my own tears.
One of our long-time neighbors said not to worry about my tears. "We all understand how wild hormones get when you're pregnant."
I loved all the gifts. One that puzzled me at first drew laughs from the ladies. They all knew. It was a tube of lanolin cream. I looked closer at the box. It was for sore and cracked nipples from nursing.
There were baby clothes for several ages of her first two years. It all came with lots of advice.
I loved the direct manner in which our next door neighbor handled one question I had thought about.
"The last few weeks of your pregnancy, and for probably four weeks after, you won't be having sex with Max. Don't forget about him."
I understood perfectly.
--------[]-----[]--------
The closer I got to my due date, the more uncomfortable I was. Max and I were lying in bed one evening and our baby was kicking me. Max saw me wince.
"Are you ok, Ash?"
'I'm fine. She's kicking me, and sometimes she's worse than you were during my PT. Give me your hand, so you can feel her kicking."
I placed his hand on my bare belly, over on one side. She kicked.
"I see why you winced. She really let you have it, didn't she?"
"It really hurts when she kicks my bladder, but the reminder of the life inside me is wonderful."
Soon I was down to one week, and miserable. Waddling everywhere. No bladder capacity, so I peed a lot. My back ached, but it was precisely there that marrying a physical therapist paid off handsomely.
He knew how to give great massages. He had a bottle of massage oil that was a blend of almond and lavender. It was so relaxing, I drooled several times. I usually fell asleep, nude, as soon as he finished.
I had no interest in sex. It was too uncomfortable. I managed giving him a blowjob that week, and I loved having him in my mouth, but that was the extent of our sex.
--------[]-----[]--------
Max had left for work and I was getting out of the shower. My water broke!
I called Max and told him, and he said he was turning around. We had made a list of what to do so we wouldn't panic. I felt panicked anyway, until Max walked in. He hugged me and the world felt right again.
I was starting to have contractions as we drove, but several minutes apart. We entered the ER and I was evaluated there, but moved to a delivery room as my contractions were coming faster.
Max was there soon, in a hospital gown. He held my hand and kissed my forehead.
I will never forget the first really hard contraction. They had been coming more quickly, but suddenly I had one that was far more intense, and I let out a soft wail at the pain.
They got worse. When my doctor told me to push hard on the next one, I squeezed Max's hand. The contraction came and I pushed and screamed. That was it!
Max hugged me and wiped my forehead. He whispered in my ear. "You're so beautiful."
I didn't feel beautiful but I was happy. Especially when one of the nurses handed me my baby, our first baby.
"Look, Max. Isn't she beautiful? Look at her tiny fingers and toes."
"Amazing. What will we name her?"
"How about Emma?"
"I like that. Emma Peterson. Born July 13th."
"Another prime number date."
--------[]-----[]--------
The first time I nursed Emma, I was emotional. There was something powerful about the moment I realized I was producing food for the baby that had grown inside me. I knew that in my head, of course, but feeling it meant more.
Max knew I was going to be up a lot during the night, so he took over the laundry and grocery shopping. Often, when Emma cried, Max got up with me.
For the first few weeks, I also took the advice that woman gave me. I took care of Max. Actually, he usually returned the favor, but we both craved penetration.
Four weeks to the day, and I was back in my sexy lingerie and Max was drilling me against the wall. It was fabulous. We set out to make up for lost opportunities.
--------[]-----[]--------
On our first anniversary, Emma was almost two months old, and Mom asked to keep her while Max and I went out to celebrate.
I had a new dress, red and very sexy.
"I have to ask, are you as sexy underneath that dress as under your black one."
"You'll find out tonight, unless Emma wakes up and wants to feed."
"How about if we skip ahead and order dessert? We'll pick up Emma after I have dessert here and at home."
That's exactly what we did. Max made love to me with my heels on and digging into his flanks as he thrust deeply into me until I came. Then he filled me. I had tears in my eyes. One year, married to Max.
I wasn't ready to get pregnant again, but I knew it wouldn't be long before I asked Max to knock me up.
That urge came in January. We held a 6-month party for Emma and gave her the first bottle of formula. Not exactly a birthday cake, but we were starting her transition. One feeding of formula each day.
That night, Max and I were naked in bed. He had just taken me doggy style as I was on my elbows and knees on the bed. I screamed as I came and he roared and filled me.
"I want another baby. Do you mind if I stop the pill?"
"I've been eagerly waiting for you. There's no conquest like releasing hoards of angry sperm loose inside you!"
I was laughing. "Why do you think they're angry?"
"Because there's only one winner."
--------[]-----[]--------
Two months later I had my positive home test to show Max. My Ob/Gyn said my due date was November 17th. Another prime. Not only that, but the first of a prime pair! 17 and 19.
I wanted to be in better physical condition for the birth, so Max and I started running every morning. At five months, I switched to walking, but we walked briskly. No dawdling.
The next month we had the sonogram: another daughter.
I was over halfway done with my master's class work and had been assigned a faculty member to work with me on my thesis. We had spoken on the phone and exchanged emails. I sent him an outline of my proposed thesis. He made some suggestions, which I eagerly adopted. Now I had a lot of reading to do.
The cool thing about that was being able to read books online and copy and paste quotes I might want to use in my writing. There was even an icon I could click on that would give me the source, properly formatted, which I could then add below the citation in my notes.
In May, Max got the boat out of storage and put it in the water at a public landing. I drove his old pickup and the trailer back to the house while he motored to our dock. I had never seen the pickup--I didn't know it existed--until the previous October. The pickup was in the storage unit he rented for the boat, so during the winter, he had it parked on the side of our driveway. It was old and rusted and reminded me of Mater on Cars.
Emma got her first birthday in style. My parents were there to watch her eagerly demolish a piece of cake. It was in her hair, her ears, and even up her nose. One of those events that ends with a bath.
I had a couple of dizzy spells in September, but my doctor found I was anemic, so that was easily corrected.
As I approached my due date, I once again hit that miserable last two weeks, a week when Max was at his kindest with me. He massaged my legs and kissed my back as I lay on my side.
I was surprised not to make it to my due date, but we both laughed when my water broke early in the morning on the 13th. Max accused me of being a witch. I warned him not to tamper with a pregnant witch!
I was far more aware of how delivery would proceed and this one went smoothly. That last contraction was a beast, but I got through it. I was in better condition and Beth was a pound lighter that Emma at birth. We had already chosen Bethany as her name, and we agreed we would call her Beth.
Mom & Dad had Emma, who was fully transitioned to formula now. She was 17 months old, and had started walking at 13 months. Now she ran everywhere. Mom called to congratulate me and admitted to feeling exhausted.
"I don't know how I ever kept up with you when you were that age."
"I don't even try. I just head her off at the pass."
I knew it was time to start writing my thesis. I had gathered tons of quotes and little paragraphs of thoughts I had while studying, but first I needed to outline divisions in my document. Then I could sort the source material by division and start writing.
"Babe, you've never said what you were writing about."
I was laughing.
"I wanted to surprise you. I'm writing about Maximilian I. He's such a fascinating man. He and his sister were the only two Habsburg heirs, and the future of the Habsburg dynasty looked even more bleak when Maximilian's son, Phillip, died at age 28. However, he had fathered two sons, both of whom were future Holy Roman Emperors. Their mother was Joan, or Juana, of Castile, daughter of Ferdinand and Isabella, of Columbus fame.
"There is so much more about him, but I'll let you proof read this for me later."
The thrust of my thesis was the impact Maximilian exerted through marriage contracts to change the face and future of Europe.
--------[]-----[]--------
I insisted on having Max inside me after three weeks this time. Once again, he filled me several times that night and the next. I love turning him on with sexy lingerie, and I am well-rewarded.
In early March, I completed my thesis and submitted it to my advisor for his review and comments. He had a few suggestions, but mostly praised my work. After a few revisions, it was submitted to the University. In early April, I received word I would be awarded the Master's of Art in History at the May Commencement, held in Maryland.
Max insisted that we go.
"I need to see you march down there and receive this degree. If you get to keep your cap, we're making love that night with only that on your sexy body."
We decided to leave Emma with my parents, but we had to take Beth. We got her on one bottle of formula a day immediately, and introduced a second before the trip.
I was wiping away tears as I received by diploma. It had been a dream Michael and I shared. I received mine, but he never had the chance.
In the very moment I thought about that, I realized Michael and I were married less than five hours before he died, but Max and I had now been married for 32 months and had two beautiful daughters.
Max had become the love of my life. I'll never forget Michael, but I want to grow old with Max--maybe after a couple more babies, though.
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