Begrudgingly Yours Ch. 02

Liam Kerrisk, I was to discover, was the leader of the Belle Village Pride, located near the Zion mountain range and was one of the largest Prides in North America with just over 200 members. Unlike most shifter prides, Belle Village consisted of not only Lions but just about any species of cat you could think of. Liam himself was a large cat resembling an African Lion but thought to be a descendant of the now extinct European Lion. I couldn't remember ever seeing Jai shift but I believe that his mother had been of a similar lineage so Jai would most likely have inherited her animal form.

Most of the pride members lived in smaller homes scattered throughout the village but there were quite a few that lived in the large mansion with Liam and his family. I'd briefly met a few of them as Jai led me down stairs and to a small sitting room where Liam was already waiting for us. The room was breath taking, with polished wooden floors, a large fireplace, and a very masculine looking leather living room set. A mahogany coffee table sat in front of a sofa while matching end tables flanked each end. A decorative, cream colored rug sat in the middle of floor and one entire wall was lined with hundreds of books.

Liam was sitting on the sofa, a cup of steaming coffee on the table in front of him. Jai sat next to him and then motioned for me to sit in the leather arm chair to Liam's right. Liam looked up at me as soon as I'd seated myself. "Tea, coffee?" He offered. I shook my head. "Thank you, but no. I'm good."

He nodded, took a slow, deliberate sip of his drink then gently sat it back on the coaster before lifting his head and looking me in the eye. "First, let my apologize for my actions earlier." He said, getting right to the point, "but you have to understand my position. A stranger, in my home uninvited is cause for concern but finding you in my private bedroom, the room I share with my mate, was not only extremely inappropriate but also incredibly stupid. My first thought was to protect my mate as well as my house hold and not knowing who you were, I could only assume you were a threat."

I nodded, sinking down into the chair, pulling away from him. Being dressed down by this man made me feel about 2 inches tall and I suddenly wanted to dig a hole and crawl in it. "I do understand." I tried to explain, "and I'm very sorry for alarming you. I just wanted to find Jai and speak to him without anyone else knowing I was here. I guess I didn't really have a plan when I came here. I was just winging it, which, I agree was stupid."

"So, that brings me to my next question." Liam said. "Why are you here? And why didn't you call ahead to let us know you were coming?"

His question wasn't rude or accusatory, he simply wanted answers but what could I tell him? I barely knew Jai anymore and I knew Liam even less. I wanted to be honest with them both but I was scared. Jai already knew I'd run from an arranged marriage but that was only the tip of the ice burg. There was so much more and I really didn't even know where to begin, what to reveal, and what to keep to myself. My biggest fear was that they would send me back to my father and that couldn't happen. I wouldn't let it happen. I'd run again if I had to though that proved to be problematic.

I had nowhere to go, and no money. If I tried to access my bank account or use a credit card my father would find me as I'm sure he was already tracking both. I had even left my cell phone behind. I literally left with only the clothes on my back. I didn't take a car because the driver would obviously tell my father where I had gone. I had enough cash with me to pay a cab to take me up the mountain and drop me just outside the village gate. From there I went the rest of the way on foot, creeping through the darkness, blending in with the shadows, fearful of being seen by anyone. So yeah, I had showed up unannounced, broken in, and raised suspicions but at the time I felt I didn't have any other choice. I was running for my life.

"Liam, he's young." Jai put his hand on Liam's forearm, trying to defend me. His voice was calm, caring and filled with compassion, traits of an omega. The voice of reason. The nurturer. Hopefully, one day, I'd possess those traits as well. But Jai was right, I was young. According to my father I was undisciplined, headstrong, and a pain in the ass. He may have been right as well. I didn't follow the rules, I didn't want to be the submissive and obedient little omega everyone thought I should be, and I definitely didn't want someone deciding my future for me.

Liam turned to Jai and I could hear the frustration in his voice. "Young? He's what, nineteen, twenty?"

"Eighteen." Jai answered with an audible sigh. "He's eighteen."

"He's an adult." Liam stated. "Too old to be acting so recklessly. I could have killed him."

Jai nodded. "I know that, he knows that, but I'm sure he has a good reason for doing what he did."

Liam rubbed the back of his neck. I could feel the tension rising between them. They didn't like arguing and Liam didn't like that Jai didn't immediately take his side, that he was defending my actions but at least Liam was trying to be understanding though I didn't think he had any idea of how to deal with me. He was probably used to having people bow down and kiss his ass, he was a leader after-all. Dealing with moody teenagers was likely not something he had to contend with on a daily basis.

I sat there for the next five minutes listening to them going back and forth, discussing me as though I wasn't sitting right in front of them. Just like my father, they were trying to decide what I should do, what would be best for me, neither of them asking what I wanted. It was always the same. No one cared what I thought, or what I wanted. No one ever listened to me. It was like my feelings didn't even matter. I couldn't take it anymore. This was my life, I should have a say in who I married, and what happened to me. I suddenly stood up, catching them both off guard. "I'm sorry, this was a mistake." I blurted out, again close to tears. "I shouldn't have come here. You don't know me and It's not fair to dump my problems on you. I'll pay for the damage I caused."

I turned away and wiped my eyes, not wanting them to see me cry. "I'll just... go now. I'm sorry."

"Ash, sit down." I glanced behind me and saw that Liam was on his feet and walking toward me. "It's the middle of the night, you can't just leave, it's not safe."

I blinked. Not safe? I almost laughed. He was right. It wasn't safe to go wandering around at night, especially in a village of cat shifters but that wasn't what I found so funny. I'd never in my life been scared of the night because normally, the most dangerous thing out there, was me.

"You don't need to worry about me." I said, sounding more arrogant and condescending than I'd meant to. "I may not be a were-shifter, whatever, but I'm not human either. Surely you've figured that out by now."

He nodded. "I had my suspicions. You don't smell human. I know what you are. I wasn't sure at first but I am now. I've just never met your kind before."

"Yes you have." I corrected him, my voice soft, almost apologetic as I turned to look at Jai. "We have the same father."

Jai closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. I thought he'd be angry but instead, he seemed to relax more, as though a huge weight had finally been lifted and the burden he'd carried for so long had suddenly vanished. "I've worked so hard to suppress that side of myself." Jai whispered, tears filling his eyes. "I should have been honest but I didn't want... I was afraid you'd reject me."

And there it was. I had been so caught up in my own drama that I'd failed to consider how Jai must have felt. The fear he'd held inside. It made sense. He'd been rejected by our father, that's why he left. Our father had wanted him to deny his shifter half but he couldn't and our father shouldn't have expected him to. But now, he was afraid of the same thing happening again, with his mate. I hated feeling trapped by the demands of the society I lived in but Jai was really the one in a cage, never free to be who and what he truly was; being denied his true nature because being true to himself would mean walking a line between two worlds and never really feeling like he fit in either.

My heart broke for him and for a moment I was scared that I'd just destroyed his life with my big mouth but that wasn't the case at all. I watched, in awe, as Liam turned and walked to Jai and, without a moment of hesitation, he wrapped his massive arms around my brother and pulled him tight against his chest. "Never." Liam whispered. "To reject you would be to reject my heart. You belong to me, mind, body and soul, forever."

I put my hand over my mouth, trying to hold in my sobs, then turned away to give them some privacy. The love and affection they shared was so endearing, so pure, it literally brought tears to my eyes. I could only hope that one day I might find that kind of love and passion. That's why I ran away. I could never marry Niklas Kautz. I not only didn't love him, I hated him. How on Earth did my father think that I could ever be happy with a man like that? Niklas was a monster. I'd rather die than be his mate.

***

"So, we have a dilemma." Liam was once again seated on the sofa, Jai beside him, his arm looped through Liam's and his head resting on his shoulder.

"I don't want to cause you anymore trouble." I told him, and I didn't. But I knew if I stayed, trouble would find us. I'd been enough of a burden already but I still needed help. As much as I hated to admit it, I was helpless on my own. "I was thinking, maybe if you could get me a hotel room in your name, for just a few days, it would give me some time to figure things out."

"And then what?" Jai asked. "You going to run for the rest of your life?"

I shrugged. "I'm resourceful." I told him. "I just need to get out of the city. Go where no one knows me." Even as I said the words I didn't believe them, and neither did Jai. Unless I planned to spend eternity in a cave, living like a hermit, there was no possible way that I would go unnoticed. Anywhere I went, eventually I'd be recognized. It was hopeless.

"You know, it's only a matter of time before Gerard finds you. He's not a fool. It only makes sense that you'd reach out to me, who else is there?"

Jai was right. I didn't have anyone else. I had been sheltered my entire life. I had no other family and no friends. All I had were servants and attendants. I been taught by tutors and raised by staff. I knew nothing of the world, my father had made sure of that. After Jai had left, my father became strict and over protective. If he couldn't be with me, he made sure someone else was. My life had never really been my own.

"You should go back." Liam said suddenly, and my heart sank. "He doesn't sound unreasonable. He obviously cares about you. Just explain to him..."

Before he could finish, I cut him off. "No! I can't. You don't understand." I ran my hands through my hair, only just realizing that I was shaking. I was close to hysterics. Suddenly I couldn't breathe, it felt like the walls were closing in on me. I needed to go. I needed to run. It was all I could think of. I'd run forever if I had to because the alternative meant..."He'll kill me if I go back."

Jai's eyes went wide and suddenly he was at my side, his hand on my shoulder. "Gerard?"

I shook my head. "Niklas. He'll kill me for what I did. And Father won't have a choice. When they figure out where I am, they'll have the guards arrest me. I'll be immured."

Liam looked at Jai, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Immured?"

Jai's face drained of all color, his lips pressed into a thin line. He cleared his throat sharply but his voice trembled as he spoke. "It means to be entombed alive. Hands and feet shackled, gagged and placed face down in a metal coffin, then buried in the earth."

Suddenly, it felt as if all the air in the room had been sucked out. Liam's face twisted in disbelief, his mouth opened and closed as if he couldn't find the right words to respond. "For how long?" He choked the words out then looked between me and Jai.

"Forever." Jai said, his expression taut, a flicker of fear shadowing his eyes as he shifted uncomfortably under the weight of the words.

"That's... barbaric." Liam stammered, his voice cracking. "Gerard would never allow something like that to happen to his own son, would he?" His jaw clenched in outrage, his fists balling up at his sides. "What kind of man would agree to a punishment like that?"

Jai's jaw tightened, the idea of me suffering such a fate clearly gnawing at him as well. "It's not a common punishment and usually only done in lieu of execution." His eyes darted to me, his voice softened to a whisper laced with quiet dread. "Ash, what did you do?"

It was a simple question but I didn't have a simple answer. I shook my head, curling inward, wishing I could just fold myself up and disappear. "You... you don't want to know. Trust me."

"Try us." Liam said. His voice was gentle, but there was an edge to it, protective and dangerous. "Ash, if you want our help, you have to let us in."

"I can't," I whispered. "You'll hate me."

"Never," Jai said. "You're my brother. Nothing you say could ever make me hate you."

I wanted to believe him, wanted to trust him, but he'd left me before. Hot tears stung my eyes. I tried to shake them away. What if he turned his back on me for good?

I could feel the shift in the room, they held their breath, waiting for me to explain. The silence turned to tension then, Jai was there, sliding into the over stuffed arm chair with me. His arm curled protectively around my back. I couldn't look at him--I couldn't look at either of them--but I could feel their eyes on me. Not angry, not judging, just waiting patiently, giving me the time I need to feel comfortable enough to share my story.

"Ash," Jai said softly, after several more minutes had passed and still I said nothing, "You need to tell us what happened. All of it."

I could feel myself shiver even as the fire warmed the room around me. I still felt cold. The icy chill of that night clung to me, encompassing me like a shroud. My hands shook, and I twisted the hem of my shirt around my fingers, pulling until the fabric bit into my skin.

When I opened my mouth to speak, finally ready to tell them the truth, I felt the rush of memories come crashing down around me and I shuddered. Jai tightened his grip, hugging me to him. "It's okay." He whispered against my ear. But it wasn't okay. It was far from okay.

***

Niklas Kautz was at least a century older than me but, being a vampire, he was still young. A man in the prime of his life, so to speak. His father and mine had been close friends for centuries and always planned to have their children wed but Niklas had always preferred men to women and in my father's long life he'd only fathered two omegas, and only one of us had been a pure blood.

I wasn't told of this arranged marriage until the week following my eighteenth birthday and I was livid. I detested the idea of having a mate chosen for me. I wanted to be free to fall in love, and marry the man of my choosing. Plus, I barely knew Niklas. He was handsome though, charming, and had an infectious smile. At first he was very likeable. Men and women both lusted after him and he loved the attention. I still didn't like the idea of an arranged marriage but, for my father sake, I agreed to spend some time with Niklas, allow him to court me, and see if perhaps I'd changed my mind on the matter.

At first, even I was taken in by his charm and charisma. He was a proper gentleman, an aristocrat, and I'll admit, he intrigued me. His composure, his elegance. Niklas had the kind of presence that silenced a room the moment he entered. His voice was smooth like velvet and his smile was warm and inviting.

He didn't try to dominate me at first. He said he admired my independence and fire. He made me feel seen in a way that no one ever had before. He listened to me and I felt like, finally, someone understood me. He made me feel appreciated and most importantly, he didn't treat me like a child.

I was still resistant to the idea of marrying him. I was young and not ready to become someone's mate. There were still things I wanted to do, like go to university, maybe. I'd barely experienced life and I wanted more than the life my father had planned for me. I wanted to be free to make my own decisions.

Niklas said he understood and he wouldn't push me. He'd be patient and wait until I was ready. He wanted me to be happy. In the beginning, he was kind and for awhile, I actually considered the possibility of a life with him.

It didn't take long though for his true nature to be revealed. Beneath the surface, he was mean, controlling, and possessive. He became jealous so easily, threatening anyone who so much as looked at me. He would get angry over the smallest things. He began criticizing the way I dressed, walked, or conducted myself. He'd accused me of flirting with other men or sneaking off to meet a secret lover. We weren't even married yet but he was already acting like he owned me. He began restricting my movements, refusing to allow me to attend private events without him.

I began having doubts about him and when I voiced my concerns to my father, he brushed them aside, claiming I was being ridiculous. Niklas was a pure blood, a Lord, and would make an excellent mate for me. I argued with him that he didn't know the real Niklas, but I did, and at that point I was certain that I was not going to marry that man. There was no way. Of course, my father was furious with me and told me that I had no choice. I was going to marry Niklas and that's all there was to it. I told him that I refused and would not honor the marriage contract. I didn't care what my father did to me.

My father was angry but not as much as Niklas had been. He was outraged. He said I'd humiliated him and brought dishonor to his family and mine. I didn't care. There was nothing that could convince me to marry him now, so I turned and walked away.

I could hear his footsteps pounding against the marble floor as he followed after me, cursing, and yelling obscenities at me but I didn't stop. I was done with him. He quickened his pace and caught up with me just as I'd reached the outer door of my rooms. He grabbed my arm and swung me around to face him.

"You don't get to say no to me!" He screamed in my face. "You're mine, I own you!"

"No one owns me." I hissed back, low and under my breath before wrenching my arm away.

"You're wrong." He sneered. "You're my mate, you belong to me."

Before I could protest again he grabbed me with both hands, his nails digging painfully into my flesh, drawing blood. I cried out just as he kicked the door to my room open and shoved me inside. The crazed look in his eyes had me terrified beyond words. I really thought he was going to kill me. I told him to leave, demanded it. I told him I would never be his, the thought of marrying him made me sick.

That's when he hit me and threw me to the ground. He said I'd learn to obey him, he'd teach me how to submit. I pulled myself to my feet and backed away from him but he lunged at me, catching me by the hair. I tried to fight but he was too strong.

I remembered the way he looked at me. There was no love there. He wanted to claim me but not as his true mate. I was just a possession, a thing he could control and do with as he pleased. What I wanted didn't matter. I didn't matter. My words, my pleas, they meant nothing to him.

His clawed hand slipped around my throat. "You will learn your place." He growled, chocking me. I couldn't breathe and I was sure this was it. He was going to kill me and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't fight him, I couldn't escape. I couldn't even call out for help. I was totally at his mercy. I closed my eyes, praying my death would be quick and painless. At that point, death would have been a mercy.

I waited, expecting him to crush my throat beneath his fingers, extinguishing my life but death never came. Instead, he dragged me into the other room and shoved me hard onto the bed. I made a small noise of protest as he descended on me, tearing my shirt open. I suddenly realized what he intended to do, how he planned to 'break' me and I felt physically ill. My screams got stuck in my throat, clinging to the roof of my mouth like bile. I fought him, I fought with everything I had. My fist pounded against his chest as I cried, pleaded, begged him to stop. He didn't.

He continued the assault, laughing at me, telling me this was what I was made for. He said he'd take me anytime he wanted, any place because I belonged to him and it was his right. I was beyond reason at this point and I just wanted it to end. By my death or his, I didn't care. So, when I reached under my pillow and felt the cool metal of the dagger I had hidden there, the one I always kept for protection, I used it. I didn't even think about it. I just wanted him off me. I wanted him to stop, so I stabbed him in the chest. His eyes went wide with shock. He tried to pull it out but his strength was already fading. The blade was silver and I'd pierced his heart.

He collapsed and I rolled him off of me. I thought--I hoped--he was dead. He deserved death for what he'd done to me. I stood beside the bed, shaking, staring down at his body but when I looked down and saw the blood on my hands, I started to scream.

It didn't take long before the guards came running and then my father was there. The room erupted in chaos, people were rushing in and Niklas was taken away. Everything was a blur. I vaguely remembered my father wrapping me in a sheet and carrying me out of the room but I couldn't remember much beyond that. I must have been in shock.

I awoke sometime later, cleaned, dressed, and laying on a bed in the infirmary. I could hear my father arguing with someone just outside the door. It only took me a moment to realize it was Torsten. He was demanding my execution for attempting to murder his son. My blood ran cold. Niklas was still alive.

My father told him there would be no execution. The Vampire council would be arriving soon and I would stand trial. They would decide my fate.

When my father finally came into the room, he could barely look at me. I'd disgraced him. I wanted to tell him the truth, explain why I did what I had done but he wouldn't let me speak. I was to be remanded to my room, under guard, until the council arrived. I could plead my case to them but I knew what that meant.

I was an omega and I had tried to kill an alpha Lord. My fate would be worse than death. Because my father was the King, and I was a member of the royal family, I could not be executed. Not unless my crime was against royalty. But, because of my crime, my life, as I knew it, was over. If Niklas recovered, he could demand I be forced into a blood bond with him which meant I would be bound to my rapist until my death. Or, if he chose, I would be entombed. Locked away in darkness and left to die. I'd go blood mad long before death finally took me, and that could take centuries.

I didn't want to die but honestly, death would have been a better option than either of the ones I was currently faced with. Unfortunately, the choice wasn't mine to make. So, I did the only thing I could, I ran. As I had told Jai, giving the guards the slip was the easy part. They didn't know bout the hidden passage ways that ran beneath the mansion and I doubted that my father was aware that I even knew about them. They hadn't been used in over a century and had mostly been forgotten. I had discovered them as a child and had played in them often. As I grew older, I used them to escape, unattended, to the beaches below.

Now, those passage ways had become my salvation. I never thought I'd have to use them to save my life, but fate has a very cruel and morbid sense of humor.