PainLove - Bk. 04 - Ch. 06-11

Chapter 6

Rob's week with Michelle began on a Saturday afternoon in early April. Rob rang the bell at her front door, she opened the door almost immediately. She greeted him with an embrace. "I didn't want you to be so timid. I expect you to come in and go straight to the white door."

"Helena will be back in half an hour, she says, an errand here in town. There are two more cases in the boot of her car."

"No dogs?"

"Helena's gardener will see to them. It will be easier to not have so many dogs underfoot."

He was carrying one suitcase and quickly popped upstairs to drop it in Michelle's guest room. When he came back down, she led him into her living room. She sat him on the couch beside her and put a hand on his arm. "Are you in the mood to do a session this afternoon?"

"Will I ever be?"

"Kiss me."

Rob put his lips on hers and she kissed him back, extending her tongue. He paused, pulled back and looked at her.

She wasn't sure what to make of his hesitation. "I trust I convinced you about my feelings for you."

"Your feelings have been clear for some time. I was trying to decide if kissing is sexual contact."

"What we do in my dungeon isn't just a sexual game, it is out of love. Must you deny not only sex but also love?"

"You're so, ah, severe." Rob spoke with hesitation, searching for the right words. "I know you, but as a mistress I don't know you at all. It's hard to explain. With Helena and Marion I always believed, deep down, whatever they do, they think I can handle it. Even so, often they've been wrong."

"And you think it will be different when you're with me?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. We say we're friends, but we don't know each other very well. If I do a session here, I leave, we don't see each other until the next session. When I leave the playroom at home, I see Helena and Marion immediately, no longer the Mistresses, but as lovely ladies, friends."

"I do aftercare, you know. You commented on its absence to Helena and especially Marion, I understand?" He understood she'd been told at least some of his experiences. "As soon as we finish a session, we'll talk, a lot. It's not over when it's over, don't ever think that. Talking afterward is mandatory."

Rob kept silent and waited.

"I want to set some rules, Rob. What I'll teach you is not what you have learned before.

"First, when you hear the word 'trust' with your name, you'll know the session has begun, my voice saying our word means it is already underway. It might be here in this room, anywhere here. I understand you wish to confine games to a defined place. This week, the place is my entire house. If I am visiting you at Helena's, I might say it there. If I phone you, saying 'Trust, Mr. Graham,' you most come immediately to my place or to the place I name. Our word, trust, is for you. It reminds you we must build up to what are going to accomplish over the coming weeks. Do you understand?"

"Some clarifying questions, if I may. When you start a session, I'm required to go somewhere. Normally, I imagine, I'm to come here. What if I'm in Newcastle? Do you intend to interrupt my normal life? When I still must walk my dogs or when having dinner, I see no reason to jump to your attention. If you call when I'm in a business meeting, you understand my mobile doesn't even ring until I'm done."

"You can safeword, Rob."

"Don't be offended if I do, this is not as important as other parts of my life. If you want your surprise to get an acceptable reception, be aware of time and place, keep the surprise from being so unpleasant."

"Believe me, I shall. I'll not expect you to jump right away, we all have our normal things to do. But I will telephone, I might text or email, the message from Michelle asking for your trust, Rob, at seven tonight, then you'll know what to do. You are to come here, go to the white door, leave your clothes and await my arrival in the black door room.

"Now, second rule. This is the protocol you didn't want to hear before. Waiting in the room with the black door, you won't have a chair to use. In truth, there isn't normally a chair in the subs' room; I've taken it back out. We had to coddle you, your first visit. There is a position for waiting: on your knees on the floor, sitting back with bum on your heels, knees spread wider than your shoulders and hands on your thighs. It's called first position, the position you take first in every session. I could ask to put your elbows on your thighs or your hands behind you head so count yourself lucky. Your eyes will be on the floor before you. Are you okay with this rule?"

"Hmm, maybe." Rob hesitated. "What about when you say these words when you're visiting us at Helena's? There are usually other people present there."

"I'll expect you to go to the dungeon in your house. Drop all your clothes outside the door, then wait for me, just inside the door to the dungeon, on the floor in the first position. I might not be alone, in fact at Helena's, you should expect another to join us.

"But, Rob, I'll never ask you to strip in front of others. I'll never require you to kneel except in the dungeon."

"I see. So when you're visiting us, I must always be prepared to visit the playroom?"

"Normally I'll give you a warning. I might tell you the Mistress will visit you tomorrow, you'll know what I mean. If I am visiting, no reference to a Mistress, it will be a normal social visit.

"I can change my mind quite quickly if I see you misbehaving."

Rob nodded. Confident she'd actually read his limits, he felt little need to speak of not taking something in real life in the dungeon to be punished.

"Now, as to what you wear when here. You shall always wear stockings, suspender belt and high heels. This will be your standard dress for all occasions. First of all, to have you accustomed to wearing such under all circumstances and perhaps..." she stopped.

Rob grew impatient with her pause. "Perhaps what?"

"I might show you off to other people."

"Not perhaps! No, full stop. Not in a hundred years. I'll safeword immediately. Black. I am safewording right now." He didn't say what he was thinking, saying it might make him angry.

"What if you're in disguise, say wearing a mask, only your eyes visible?"

"Not even then."

"We shall talk about it another time. Your response may change over the course of our training. Any more questions? I've nothing more to say, other than I am to be your Mistress. Sometimes there will be Mistress Helena and Mistress Marion too. I am hoping even Mistress Cathy can participate."

"We'll take it as it comes."

"What did you bring along?"

"I assumed you'd want me in lingerie. I have what you named, adding a dress, in the bag I already brought in. Two more bags in Helena's car have dresses, maid uniforms, more lingerie."

"Good. Shall we make some coffee?"

"Please, I'd like some."

Just then Helena rang the bell. She was carrying a neatly wrapped package, apparently it had been her errand in town. The two ladies commanded Rob to carry the remaining two cases up to his room, then threw him out so they could unpack for him, move him in for the week. Rob loitered in the upstairs hall until Helena sent him to make the coffee. He went to the kitchen, leaving them giggling with each other. He didn't know what was so funny, but he had his suspicions.

Rob had the coffee ready and everything in the living room on a tray before Helena and Michelle reappeared down the stair.

"You may pour for us, Rob, but not for yourself." Rob served the two ladies, then was sent upstairs to change. Laid out on the bed was a pretty, floral tea dress, sleeveless and completely inappropriate for a chilly day in late spring. There were two petticoats to go under the wide skirt, the pink corset he'd worn under his bridal gown for the engagement party and knickers.

He took off his male clothes and put them away. He discovered the lace-edged knickers were open-crotch, they intended him to hang out. He fiddled a bit and found he could cross over the two halves, giving him reasonable coverage as long at he didn't run about. Ladylike, he thought to himself, it will remind him to be ladylike. Remembering he couldn't reach his shoes once he was wearing the corset, he slipped the stockings up his legs and put on the four inch heels. The open knickers had a matching suspender belt, he put it on and clipped to his stockings.

The corset was still tied to his sizing for the gown at the engagement party. He released the knots and started over. He closed the busk in front, then pulled on the cords to snug up the corset, much less than Carmen had done for the party. He slipped into the petticoats, making the decision to wear white over pink, and tied each one in place. Finally, he slipped the dress over his head and settled it in place. It took some work to close the zip in the back, but he managed.

To account for the sleeveless dress, he checked in his wardrobe and found a white cardigan. He put it over his shoulders and buttoned it just at the neck. He quickly checked his appearance in the mirror, then went out the door. On the stair, his knickers continually reminded him to remain dainty and ladylike. It was easier to walk on the level floor across the hallway, then he was standing in the doorway to the living room.

Helena and Michelle were talking. Helena stopped in mid-sentence when Rob appeared. A smile grew across her face. "You see, Michelle, he rises to challenges."

"How so?" Rob asked.

"We left you with several opportunities to ask for help - the corset, the zip on the dress - and yet you managed to dress completely without calling on us. You see, Michelle, he even decided, sensibly, to add a cardigan instead of wearing only what we set out."

"Rob, it's a good thing for both of us you know your way around feminine clothing," Michelle added. "You'll wear nothing else for the week. A maid's uniform most of the time, for you shall be my maidservant this week. This afternoon, we thought we'd like a bit more of a party atmosphere to get started."

They invited Rob to sit and Helena poured him coffee. He'd only had a sip before Michelle declared she wanted a biscuit. "Be a dear, Rob, and bring out a plate of biscuits, you'll find them in the cupboard."

Rob obliged. It took a moment to locate the package of biscuits, then a bit longer to find the plates and take one down. It wasn't more than two minutes before he came back to the living room. As he entered the hall, he had just a glimpse of Michelle returning into the living room. His high heels made plenty of noise on the wood floor, they knew he was coming.

Helena and Rob chatted for another quarter hour. Rob was little more than a witness, they didn't include him in the conversation. Apparently Bridget had just said something funny to Helena. Ah, Bridget, of the theater supply shop. Her errand was picking up a new costume for his week with Michelle.

"Are you comfortable, Rob?" The question from Helena was the first call on Rob's attention.

"Yes, I'm fine, thanks. Considering the week before us."

"Not uncomfortable at all?" Her face had a mischievous look.

"No." Except the line of questioning was making him uncomfortable.

"Then you didn't put on everything we set out"

"I did."

"Let me see your knickers, please."

Rob delayed rolling his eyes until his face was hidden by uplifted skirt and petticoats. More than just two hands were exploring his knickers. Rob put full attention to not getting hard.

"No, ah, wait, yes he is!" Helena said. His knickers were spread at the opening, her fingers pulled his dick and balls out to dangle free between bits of soft lace. "Rob, you clever fellow. We intended you to be a bit more self-conscious, but you found your way out of it." She took care to leave him dangling out.

Once Rob's petticoats and dress were smoothed back down, Helena looked at the clock and declared she would go. After seeing her out the door, Michelle led Rob back to the living room, having him sit beside her on the couch. They drank more coffee and soon were chatting. Once she had Rob more relaxed, Michelle drew out of him his doubts and feelings, towards her, but also toward Helena and Marion. He mentioned specifically the tour of Helena's house during Michelle's last visit there.

"Oh, Rob, you should have objected in the instant. Sure, we were luring you into the dungeon, but you can always say you don't want to play the game, we wouldn't have teased you. I know, we did set it up, more or less, but to be honest we didn't plan in advance, it was an impulse. I had the thought it might give you a boost to try. Still, isn't it good you talked things over. Helena understands how you see your relationship with her. No doubt she'll think twice before attempting something you may not like at all.

"But now, you face only me. You know I have nothing to lose. You can be mad at me, but my task is getting to know your boundaries. Use your safeword when you feel uncomfortable with any of the scenes I plan to do with you."

Rob didn't agree, he thought she might lose her new friendship with Helena if an error in Michelle's house led to Helena bearing a consequence from the agreement. He said nothing, but decided she would be given one warning, one reminder of the consequence on Helena, if she crossed a line.

Watching her, Rob thought she had something else on her mind.

"I must reconsider. Originally I had planned our first sessions would be corporal punishment, but I don't think it the right way to start our new relationship. Hmmm..." Michelle paused in thought.

"Trust, Mr. Graham!"

Rob rose to his feet in obedience.

"One moment, Rob. As of this moment, you are in the session. In any session I'll expect you to behave like a sub at all times. In this case you ask me permission to leave. The session will end when I say you're dismissed."

"Permission to go downstairs, Mistress?"

"Yes. I'll meet you there."

Rob walked out of the room. He felt his heart pounding. He knew this would be his first serious session with Michelle. The day of his session with her at Helen's he'd thought she was careful, almost perfunctory. Surely it would surely be different this time. He decided to let it go forward, see what he would learn. He went downstairs and entered the room with the white door. Quickly he undressed, leaving only the lace suspender belt, his white stockings and his white high heels. He made sure the seams of his stockings were perfectly straight and then he walked slowly to the room behind the black door. There was a small carpet where the chair had been, he got to his knees and placed his hands on his thighs. He felt strangely touched by Michelle's giving him a carpet to kneel on, instead of the cold floor.

Chapter 7

Time passed, Rob was uncertain how slowly or quickly. He made a note to occupy the wait by counting out the time. After perhaps fifteen or twenty minutes, Michelle opened the other black door. Rob didn't move, he waited for her to say something. He'd decided in his time waiting he would focus on doing only what she asked, taking no initiative himself. She stood there, giving him the chance to move or speak out of turn so she could punish him. She walked all round him, still saying nothing. Rob saw only her boots, black, knee-high and with very high heels.

She stopped before him. "Stand."

Rob did as he was told, eyes still down. He could now see more of her body. Clearly she must be wearing a black leather corset. She also wore black knickers. Black nylons were attached to metal grips on suspenders from the corset. She walked around him again.

"You've done well, your seams are straight, the heels are sufficient. Soon I'll permit you to wear much higher heels."

Rob still said nothing, staying with his decision.

"You may look up."

Rob looked straight forward and she stepped over for him to see her. The corset was cupless, he could see her nipples, it seemed they were erect every time he saw them.

She looked him straight in the eyes. "Are you afraid?"

"I am uneasy, Mistress." It seems it was the answer she wanted to hear, a faint smile appeared around her lips, disappearing again within seconds. On the other hand, Rob thought, the smile might also be part of her mind-game with him.

"Follow me."

She entered her dungeon and Rob followed her, two paces behind. There was a large chair standing on a platform. She stepped up on the platform and sat on her throne. "Stand before me!"

Rob walked toward her.

"Stop there."

Even seated, she still looked down upon him, as he stood before her, his hands near his thighs. She looked him straight in the eyes "Raise your arms and put them behind your neck, keep them there."

Rob raised his arms and held them as was asked. By doing so, he felt more exposed. His dick was fully exposed, he struggled to keep it from hardening.

"How do you feel? You're still afraid of me, aren't you?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Why?"

"I can't imagine what you might do. I've been told you're the best, I imagine you're the best at dealing out pain."

"Oh, yes. You can count on it. But pain is only one experience, there are more. I also deal out sexual pleasure, for example.

"Your stubbornness brings you to me. Marion has told me things about you. You can take much more than you appreciate, I am convinced. You always seem to have second thoughts. This must end, stubbornness and second thoughts. The submissive must trust the mistress to give what is appropriate for him, not of what he asks for, have you heard this expression? You shall learn to trust your Mistresses. Today and the coming days, there is only one mistress, me. I will care for you."

She stood, stepped down to table, just beside the platform, with all manner of crops, paddles and whips were displayed and ready for use. She choose an ordinary, light, wooden brush, the kind that might be used for hair or removing dust or pet hair from a coat or jacket. This one had another purpose.

She pulled one of her wooden chairs beside the table and sat. "Come here, please."

He walked towards her, a bit reluctantly. She saw his distressed face. He voice was soft, encouraging. "I'll build up your resistance. You'll experience nothing I haven't experienced myself. You too have done this before. Why are you so afraid? I really don't understand."

Rob said nothing.

"Answer my question!"

"You aren't my fiancee, Mistress." What he chose not to say was, she was not a woman he loved and trusted. She was just a mistress; the relationship was more impersonal.

"So? I'll treat you the same as Helena. I may even be more careful because I'm not your lover. Rob, you must surrender. Give yourself to me. Let it come over you. You have your safeword, but I expect you can tolerate this. This is not a punishment. It's an exercise. I shall start with giving you twenty slaps with my hand, divided; on your bottom and thighs. Then the brush, I'll start with ten strokes and check you afterwards. Understand?"

"Yes mistress."

"You know what to do, over my lap, hands on the floor."

Reluctantly he did so, supporting his weight by leaning on his hands.

"Rob, relax. I'm not an ice-sculpture. Put your weight on my lap."

He finally gave in and now rested with his full weight onto her, using his hands just for balance.

Michelle opened her legs and Rob's dick, a bit harder despite his fear, pushed against her nylon-covered legs. She closed her legs again, squeezing his dick between her thighs. Then she started to slap him. She used considerable strength, she spanked him harder than Helena or Marion ever had done to him. But with each slap, she also squeezed her thighs together. He was stimulated and slapped at the same time.

Each bum cheek received four slaps, then she went lower and slapped his thighs.

It started to hurt, now and then he gave a groan but didn't give in. At sixteen she said: "This last will be harder still!" She stroked his bottom a few time with her non-slapping hand and suddenly he received four slaps on the area between the thigh and bum. It's a fairly innocent place, but he felt each slap, extremely painful. Tears came into his eyes, but not a sound passed parted his lips. He caught himself getting hard and concentrated on stopping that.

Finally she was ready. She stroked his bottom, making circles with one hand.

She didn't say a word. Rob stayed where he was, his dick was getting hard, in spite of his pain and his effort. The adrenaline rushed through his body, the whole of his body was one muscle, ready to go off in a second.

"Relax, Rob, relax." Michelle's voice was calm, soothing. "You're doing fine. But you simply must relax. I know it hurts, I intend you to hurt. Your job is to put down the fear, put down the angry response. I can feel your anger, I can. But you're aroused too, I can feel that as well. Concentrate on that. Think of my legs, my wonderful long legs. I put on nylons, especially for your pleasure. Your Mistress cares for you. Usually I wear leather pants."

She reached beneath her legs, stroking his head with her fingertip. She gently gave it one squeeze.

"Are you ready for ten swats with my hair brush?"

"Yes."

"What did you say?"

"Yes Mistress."

"You earned two swats more, I do not tolerate insubordination."

He felt some sort of a sting, she had hit him with the brush, but it felt different. She was holding back, the brush just hit his skin, without pushing on deeper muscles. His skin felt hot, almost on fire after this beating, but his muscles were undisturbed.

The brush went down and up, down and up, in a steady pace, left, right, below left, below right and so on. He made no effort to count.

"The last two, the punishment strokes. Prepare!"

She gave him two strokes, one on the right cheek and one on his left. This time the brush followed through, landing and going deep. Rob felt a dull pain in his bum, a deeper pain. He knew he would feel these last two blows for a much longer time.

"Done. You may stand." He stood up and took a step backwards, taking a deep breath. He looked her straight in the eye, not planning to lower his eyes. Jaw tense, he said nothing.

"You are dismissed."

Rob stood there for a moment, as though expecting something. Then he turned and left her dungeon. Michelle watched him exit. From his apparent confusion she'd expected another, backward glance but he exited without hesitation. After the door closed, she sighed. He had to learn to release his resistance, then everything else would work out.

Rob walked straight to the changing room, quickly slipped into just his dress, picked up his lingerie and went upstairs to his assigned bedroom on the second floor. He didn't trouble to check, he was confident they had removed all his male clothes, intending him no opportunity to flee except in a dress. It was an option he didn't need - yet.

He took a lukewarm shower, to give his behind some comfort. His muscles relaxed and the pain subsided. He thought about what happened as he soaked in the spray. Why was he in such a distress? He had experienced this and worse, without such a reaction. Why was it so different with Michelle? He realized he'd already been aware of the answer. Michelle was not his fiancee, not his lover. Deep in his heart he knew, in spite of everything that happened, Helena loved him more than life. Michelle was just doing a task.

He spent some time putting lotion on his sores. They didn't seem terrible, but they smarted.

When Michelle opened his bedroom door later, she though was he was presenting himself to her for more activity. Completely nude, he knelt on the floor, his elbows on the bed, his reddened bottom foremost to her. He quickly stood, apparently unconcerned about his nudity. By moving, he revealed he'd been kneeling at his laptop computer, writing something. Suddenly the situation was mundane.

"Rob, we've unfinished business. Something is bothering you, yet you didn't speak after being dismissed. You don't appear to be hurt all that much, I'll bet you'll be fine in the morning. Believe, me, I've seen worse."

Robs face gave her no reaction. "I'm working on it for myself. I'm making progress."

"Tell me about it."

He paused then decided. "No."

"Rob, tell me!"

"I believe the change you wish to see in me must be internal. I don't expect talking to make the change. Being left to think has a better chance."

"Rob, talk to your mistress."

"Mistress, I'm confused, is this a session? If so, I'm obeying your rule forbidding anything insulting to you. If there isn't a session underway I prefer not to speak."

"Trust, Rob and you are dismissed to go to the dungeon. Quickly."

"As you wish, Mistress." His voice struck her as having an unnatural calm to it. Helena had described it to her, she knew what she was dealing with.

Already nude, he went straight to the black door and knelt. This time his eyes were straight ahead. Let her punish him for it.

The door opened almost immediately. Michelle stood before him in a simple cotton robe. She extended her hand to him. "I'm sorry, Rob, you rushed me. I expected you would put on stockings."

He made no response.

"Take my hand, Rob, I'll help you up and lead you."

Slowly he moved his eyes up to look her in the face. He was determined this session, which seemed to him impromptu, should be as hard on her as she was on him. His hands stayed on his legs as he rose. "Do what you will, Mistress."

There was a chair beside the black door; she drew over a second, facing the first. She seated herself, she gestured to the other chair. "Let's talk."

He stood behind the chair. "I trust mistress understands why I would prefer not to sit."

"You're quite stubborn, Rob, all I want to do is talk. You can relax a little."

"I am in a session, Mistress, in your dungeon. I don't think relaxing is this room's purpose."

"Rob, you are dismissed. I only invoked a session to force you to talk."

Rob turned back to the black door.

"Rob! Get over here and talk to me!"

Rob spoke in his calm, quiet voice. "Am I free to go, Mistress or is there still a session underway? I'm confused again."

"Trust, Rob. Now, since you don't want to sit in a chair, first position, here on the floor before me."

Rob settled into the assigned position and lowered his eyes.

"First, please explain the long, odd look you gave me after you were dismissed."

"Mistress had given me the impression she would be doing aftercare. I waited for it, nothing happened." Just like the mistakes Helena and Marion made.

"Ah, you expected to talk?"

Rob said nothing.

"We are talking now. How is this not aftercare?"

He did not respond.

"How were you feeling as you left the dungeon after your first session?" Michelle asked with a soft voice. "Was I such a terrible and fearsome Mistress for you? Was the pain too much to bear?"

He stayed silent, still looking down.

"Rob! We must talk. If you don't speak up, express yourself, there's not much use in going on."

He lifted his head, his eyes meeting hers. "It isn't about you, Michelle. It's just difficult for me to surrender. When I've surrendered in the past, it seems that was the instant things got completely out of hand, the time my worst nightmares were realized. I've memories, feelings, they haunt me. I'm constantly on my guard in a session, I can't relax. It's not about pain, it's about surrendering. I think this is my problem.

"It's even harder with you. I don't love you, you don't love me." He saw a reaction cloud her eyes, she believed she loved him. "We have no relationship outside a session."

"Would it be better if Helena takes lessons from me using other subs? I have some pain-sluts, they won't care if something goes a little wrong. They'd be thrilled to experience new Mistresses - Marion and Helena."

Rob felt a sting of jealousy, but said nothing, his eyes moving slowly back down.

"Now, tell me what's wrong."

"I thought I explained myself. This really isn't about you, it's me. I must learn to surrender and indeed, learn to trust you. It will be the same with any mistress."

"With whom have you have bad experiences?"

There was a pause before he answered. "No." He said the word thoughtfully.

"What does 'no' mean?"

"It's in my past, one of the issues I'm dealing with." His calm, quiet, controlled voice was getting to her.

She thought perhaps he should be more emotional. She decided he needed to shed tears. "Come with me for another paddling." Soon she had him over her lap again on the chair by the table of paddles. She stopped to adjust her legs around his dick again, disappointed to note he wasn't hard, not at all. She kept her legs a bit apart, confident she would have him hard again, then she would trap him as she had.

She took her time selecting, settled on an oak paddle of medium weight and size. She placed it against his buttocks, wanting him to feel what was to hit him.

"Ready?"

"Do what you will, Mistress."

She gave him a dozen hits, expecting to have him at least flinch. He didn't respond at all.

"Are you okay, Rob?"

"Do what you will, Mistress."

She gave him a dozen more, still with no response.

"How are we doing?"

"Do what you will, Mistress."

Exasperated, she pushed at him. "Get up!" As soon as he was off her lap, she gave her next command." First position!" He complied, eyes down. He seemed disinterested.

"Now," she said. "Tell me everything."

Rob's reply astounded Michelle. "Black." He rose. "Good night." For the second time that evening, a mystified Michelle watched him depart from her dungeon.

She was sitting on his bed when he came in from the bath.

"Here, let me look at you." She inspected him. "You're well reddened, but you'll recover quickly."

She pulled him to sit beside her on his bed. She had taken care to leave her robe slightly open, giving him a glimpse of her breasts - if he'd only look.

"I was hoping we could cuddle. We can talk more openly if you feel more relaxed."

Rob stood, unhurried, walking to stand at the far end of the room. "We haven't talked about my role in the daily routine."

Michelle chose to assume this meant he was consenting to stay longer. She didn't ask him, based on his behavior he might stop the sessions if the question was asked. She gave him quick directions for the morning. Rob closed his door as soon as Michelle left and set his alarm clock.

Chapter 8

Carrying his three-inch heels, Rob crept quietly down the stair early Sunday morning. Michelle had emphasized his responsibilities in the morning should not wake her.

He first did the task he dreaded, the main reason he rose while it was still dark. He looked out the kitchen door, confirming no one, not even her nearest neighbors, could see into her back garden. He was surprised at his pounding heart as he walked down her gravel driveway to the street. He peeked carefully out to the street from behind the thick hedge and saw nothing. He stepped out, grabbed the newspaper and walked quickly back up the driveway to the kitchen door and inside.

He sat down for a moment, to recover his composure. Somehow what he'd just done, however simple, seemed a big step in what exposure he could face. He told himself Michelle and Helena would never hear him admit it.

He prepared tea and coffee; she'd said she would decide in the morning which she wanted. He wanted to be ready for either choice. Grilling two slices of ham, he thought through how to prepare the rest of what she said she'd want: toast, eggs and a fried mushroom. He laid out all the ingredients and looked at the clock. He spent some time cleaning the kitchen, washing plates and glasses from the previous day, cleaning the table, wiping the sink. He set the table in the dining room with a single place for her breakfast and laid out the newspaper.

When Michelle came downstairs later than she'd expected, Rob immediately appeared at the kitchen door at the back of her hall. He curtsied. "Good morning, Mistress. I'll be ready to serve your breakfast in just a moment." In the quiet he could track a lot in the soft morning sounds from upstairs, he had everything ready except the eggs.

She seated herself, looked around and frowned. "Have you already eaten?"

"No, ma'am."

"It was my intent we would eat breakfast together, share the paper, give ourselves a relaxing morning."

Rob made no answer.

"Why didn't you set the table for two?"

"Without your direct instruction, Mistress, I would not presume to eat a meal with you."

"Rob, why are you being so careful?"

"I do not wish to give you a reason to punish me."

"Rob, this isn't that kind of relationship. If I punish you, it will be because of something in the session. When we're not in a session, I'd like you to be a bit more natural. We should eat together, we can socialize, we might watch television together if we like. I asked for a maid because I want you in a dress. I really don't expect you to work a sixteen hour day tending to everything."

"As you wish, Mistress." But he just stood there.

"Must I command you to set another place?"

"No, ma'am." But he just stood there.

"What is going on?"

"As I prepared your breakfast, I was thinking. Being assigned to serve as your maid suits my interests very well. I prefer the distance, the formality of the relationship the maid role offers. I doubt I'd be comfortable being natural, socializing with you, eating at the table with you. With your permission, I'll not set another place."

Michelle looked at his face, judging him. He was was speaking naturally instead of the controlled voice. She decided to let him have his way. "Do as you wish. What's for breakfast?"

"How would you like your eggs, ma'am? Everything else is ready."

She asked for scrambled, noting Monday she would want a boiled egg. He reappeared with a teapot in one hand and a French press of coffee in the other, asking which she wanted. She advised him she would, in future, be willing to express her preference and wait for one or the other to be brewed. Within a few minutes Rob served her a plate heaped with food, then disappeared.

Michelle felt odd. She was distinctly alone despite Rob in the next room.

When she finished she called him to clear the table. She called him back, telling him cleaning after the meal could wait. "Sit here, let's talk."

"I trust mistress understands why I would prefer not to sit."

"No, I don't understand why and you are frustrating me greatly. Why must you be so stiff?"

"Every time Helena forces me into an intimate setting with another woman, the woman falls in love with me. With Kate, her sister, I tried to give her no reason to fall in love; she fell in love with me for trying to protect her. With you, I intend to give you reasons to not love me."

"Don't do that!" Her eyes flared with anger.

"The choice is not yours, Mistress. Punish all you want, session all you want. When I am in a session, I know my role, and my role preserves distance. When I am not in a session, I intend to still preserve my distance."

"Trust, Mr. Graham."

"Permission to go to the dungeon, Mistress."

"No. Sit."

Rob obeyed her command.

"Rob, here is what I want for the daily routine. We must eat breakfast together. We'll chat over breakfast. I have work to do daily, either here or at my office. I may be here part of the day, I may be away all day. If I'm here at home, but working, I'll tell you so; I'll be at my desk in the library. You're free to do whatever you like whilst I am working. I expect the kitchen to be kept clean, but don't chase every crumb and drop. I have no problem with letting dishes stack up, to be washed all together once a day. You're to do your own laundry, as you see fit. I'll see to my own.

"In short, there isn't much of a daily routine. There is one exception: this table." She gestured down at the oblong, highly polished dining table where they were seated. "Every day, any time before dinner, I expect you to carefully polish this table. You and the table will grow quite close. In the kitchen I'll show you where to find cloths and the bottle of polish in the pantry." She paused. "Do you know how to polish furniture?"

"Yes, Mistress. I've seen the polish and cloths in the pantry."

"Provided you stay in your chair until we're done talking, you are dismissed from the session."

Rob didn't respond.

She let a long period of silence hang in the air. She intended he would become uncomfortable and begin speaking. He did not. He seemed to be studying the surface of the table.

"What shall we talk about, then?" It was a Sunday morning, time for relaxing a bit.

"I have nothing to suggest, ma'am." He was staying in the maid role.

"Right. Here is one more instruction. You haven't eaten yet; go eat something and make sure you drink water. If you fail to eat a meal, either before or at the same time as I do, I'll start a session and find an unpleasant way to keep you fed.

"I haven't much planned for today. I think I'll take the newspaper into the library and read it front to back. I have a contract draft to review. We'll have lunch, serve whatever you please, something light. At some point in the afternoon I'll summon you for a session. At the end of the session I'll dismiss you but you must remain and talk. I realize I failed to tell you, aftercare takes place after you're dismissed. We'll decide later what's for dinner and how to spend the evening. I think I might enjoy your company watching something romantic on the telly."

"As you wish, ma'am. Is there anything else?"

She dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "Eat something! Drink water!"

Most of Sunday passed quietly. Rob served soup, cheese and bread for her lunch, having already eaten himself. Despite Michelle's permission, he preferred to wash the dishes after every meal, followed by sweeping the kitchen floor. Having tasks kept him away from Michelle. In the afternoon he spent quite a bit of time polishing the table. He chose not to respond at all when he heard her footsteps pause to watch, then continue past.

He was in the living room, reading a book borrowed from her library, when she stuck her head in the door. She stopped for a moment to admire just how feminine he looked, sitting there in a dress, legs crossed. Then, "trust, Mr. Graham."

Rob unhurriedly put down the book, one of her law books again, not marking his place. He stood. "Permission to go to the dungeon, Mistress."

"It depends. What are you wearing under the dress?"

"Stockings, suspenders, knickers, a petticoat and a camisole."

"Go up and put on a bra en route to the dungeon. You shall wear stockings with suspenders, heels at least five inches and your bra for our session this afternoon. You are dismissed to do as I've told you."

He curtsied, a nice touch, and walked upstairs. She stood in the entry hall, watching him climb the stair. He really was quite feminine, he had legs any woman in her forties would show off proudly. She could understand how his first wife could marry him and love him for so long despite being a lesbian.

As soon as he was off the stair, she went up herself. She didn't plan to do much this time, just a few accents. The corset and severe make-up stuff may put on a good show, but it was too much work for this situation.

Rob was on his knees in the waiting room for eighteen minutes, by his count, when the door opened. He was glad he'd decided to count, something to concentrate on had him much less anxious.

"Stand, step out here."

Rob complied and she walked around him, her finger running across a cup of his bra, down his torso, testing the tension in suspenders clipped to his stockings, tracing a line across the fullest part of his bottom. Without lifting his eyes, he could see she was wearing form-fitting, black leather pants and a white silk blouse. "Fine. Go to the St. Andrews cross."

Keeping his eyes down, Rob walked to the large X at the center of the room. There he waited long enough he began counting again. He heard nothing. Six minutes passed after he started counting, then suddenly her finger was tracing up along the suspended across his bottom. He hadn't noticed what shoes she was wearing, when she came in front of him he could see simple ballet flats.

The tip of a riding crop brushed the head of his cock. "Are you sure you won't let Willie out to play?"

"Yes, Mistress." He used his calm, quiet voice, he'd seen from her reaction Saturday she knew what it conveyed.

"I can pull out the penis flogger."

"Do what you will, Mistress."

She'd threatened for effect, it was far too early in the session for that kind of pain. But his calm, indifferent responses gave her the impulse to give him the threatened punishment. She'd known from the start this would be a limit even if it wasn't in his written list. She didn't know how he did it, but he'd become remarkably good at preventing erections.

"Do you masturbate, Rob?"

The question surprised him so much he almost looked up. "How do you mean, Mistress?"

"When is the last time you masturbated?"

"A few months ago."

"When was your last orgasm?"

"Wednesday last, with Helena."

"Why do you work so hard to resist an erection?"

"Mistress, one of my earliest experiences was a penis flogger for having an erection. You might recall I've experienced the same at your hands. One learns to avoid being punished in that way."

"Then perhaps I should flog your penis, for not being erect when I want it to be."

"If mistress requires an erection, I can produce one. But I cannot know your unspoken wishes. In the absence of a specific instruction, I intend to not get hard."

"Perhaps I should flog your penis, for making decisions which are mine to make."

"Do what you will, Mistress."

She heard in his response his opinion she was so out of bounds he was no longer interested. The man was maddening. Well, back to the plan. "Before we begin, a question. Did you go fetch the newspaper from the curbside this morning?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"How was it?"

"Frightening, Mistress."

"Are you willing to do it again?"

"No, mistress."

"What if I demand it?"

"I will obey, Mistress."

Chapter 9

Mistress Michelle's instinct told her Rob was holding something back, she let it pass. "This afternoon, slave, we must work on your walk. First, we must adjust your figure a bit." From a metal pail, she produced two latex balloons, filled with water and tied off. They were the right size to be a breast form. She slipped one into each cup of his bra. As she'd hoped, his bust was hopelessly large. The pink balloons spilled out of his cups and gave him quite an attractive cleavage.

"Go to the wall, take a lap around the dungeon. I want to watch you walk." Going away she enjoyed the view of his wiggling bum, it was easy to imagine him a submissive girl. She crossed the dungeon to watch him come back toward her. Her view was of his dick bobbing a bit as he walked. His inexpensive breasts had a nice sway to them as well. He passed her and she turned to watch the rear view again.

After a few laps she called him to the center of the room. "Have you ever noticed how models walk? Each foot falling on a line, in some cases they actually cross over."

"Yes, Mistress."

She gestured. "Go on, take a few steps, show me."

He walked away from her, his feet falling on a line. He was stepping more slowly, he had little experience walking like a model. Finally, Michelle thought, something he hasn't already mastered.

At the wall he turned, she held up a hand to stop him. "On the return, cross over stride, left foot to the right of the right foot and so on."

This he did, but walked even more slowly.

"You need practice. Four laps of the dungeon, stride on a line."

Rob thought this an odd way to treat him in a BDSM session, but he complied. Michelle, supervising, called out comments, telling him to stand tall, to lean back, to move his arms less and constant reminders to walk on a line. She was impressed with how quickly he improved. After two laps, she raised the stakes. "Okay, but you're slower than a runway model, pick up the pace." She clapped her hands and had him walk faster. With the third lap, she added his pausing, hands on hips and strike a pose during his turn at each corner of the room.

Michelle added two more laps and commanded him him to do the cross-over step. This was a bit more challenging but Rob soon caught on and did well. Rob found himself enjoying the tutelage.

When she left him stop, he was breathing just a bit faster. When he saw Michelle sit in her chair beside the table, Rob knew the tone was about to change. She just raised an eyebrow and nodded toward her lap, he came and put himself into position. Once again, she was disappointed he had no hard dick to clamp between her legs; one purpose of the walking exercise was to shift his concentration. "I haven't decided yet how many spanks to warm you up, I'll find out when I've seen enough." She began to hit his buttocks and thighs with her hand. The blows rained down in a slow, steady pattern, it seemed to him she was even able to switch hands without changing the rhythm.

She finally stopped. "How many has it been?"

"I did not count, Mistress."

"An appropriate answer, slave, I would have punished you had you lied. Okay, up."

Michelle picked up a remote control and switched on a video screen mounted to the wall. It hadn't been visible, perhaps behind the curtain, during his last visits. An exercise video called "The Stiletto Workout" came on, which showed women in leotards and high heels exercising. "Follow the instructor, I'll be back in twenty minutes."

Rob dutifully followed along. It was hard, in heels, but he quickly learned to shorten his steps, to stay over his feet and to attend to his balance in order to avoid a spill or a twisted ankle. The sway of the water balloons in his bra was a distraction. There were dance moves he'd seen women do but never tried himself, there was a great deal of strutting. It was quite demanding. When Michelle reappeared he his heart rate was well up, he was breathing faster and he was sweating.

"Strip, balloons in the bucket, lingerie on the chair." He complied, happy to be out of those tall heels. When he looked up again, nude, she had moved over beside her cage. She beckoned him. As soon as he took the few steps to her, she gestured down to the cage. He crawled in on his knees. There wasn't much room in the cage, he didn't attempt to turn around or get off his hands and knees. He could tell the kneeling would be uncomfortable. He could only see her her by ducking his head down and looking behind him, upside-down.

She closed the cage and took a few steps away. "I see I made you sweat, I'll help you cool off."

She reached up to pull a chain hanging from the shadows of the ceiling. Cool water poured down on him from overhead. He lowered his head and waited. The shower started out okay, but it seemed to get colder. The shower quickly transitioned from pleasant to unpleasant. He glanced back to her, she was simply holding the chain and watching him. He looked back down, it was easier to get a breath facing away from all the cascading water. He studied the water going into the floor drain he hadn't noticed.

Finally he had had enough of it. "Mistress, I'm getting chilled." She didn't respond.

It only took him a few seconds to take the next step. "Black!" Immediately the cage door lock opened. A second later the water stopped. On hands and knees he backed out and stood. "Mistress, it was my expectation you wouldn't put my health at risk."

Michelle was unconcerned. "Here's a towel. I intended you to safe-word at this point. I am pleased, you behaved yourself. You didn't curse me, as I know you have other mistresses in the past. I know you can tear things apart should you get too angry, but you didn't. You reacted exactly as I wished. I was testing not your limits, but to what point you would decide enough is enough."

Rob was confused. "You wanted me to safe-word?"

"Yes. I wanted to measure your reaction so we can discuss it instead of you running away. We're still talking. I think you're progressing, don't you think?"

"As you wish, Mistress." She was right, but when we walked into her house he had already decided to give her little information to share with Helena. Six months ago he would have reacted pretty angrily to what she just did to him. It was just a test. He realized he had learned something useful from Cathy.

"Come, it's time to talk. I've learned you can't be trusted to talk once you've been dismissed." Michelle pointed him to a chair and took the other. Wrapped in two towels, he sat in a chair facing her.

"I'd love to play with your hard cock, Rob."

"Under different circumstance, Mistress, I might agree. I'm mindful, though, such pleasure comes at a cost with a domina. But it's moot, as you know the monogamy rule is to benefit Helena. It isn't about me."

Her expression softened. "You do know, don't you, you've done wonders for Helena. She may not see it herself, but long-time friends around Helena can see the difference. You've helped her become less self-centered. It's no small feat to work her away from what was an essential survival skill when she was younger."

Rob saw no reasons to respond.

"Tell me, Rob, what was it like to go out in a dress to pick up the newspaper this morning."

"I didn't like going out for your newspaper, Mistress."

"I want to hear details. This is important experience for you, going out wearing a dress, even a little bit."

"What details, Mistress? I went out, it was terrifying, I came back in as fast as I could."

"How did you feel about walking outside in a dress?"

Rob didn't answer.

"You have not been dismissed, an answer is mandatory."

Rob stood up. "I did safeword a few minutes ago, perhaps Mistress has forgotten. Black. I can't understand why terrifying isn't enough information, Mistress. Given a choice I'll never do it again."

"Sit down."

"Must I?"

"I am mystified why you safe-worded during a simple conversation. Trust, Mr. Graham and sit down before I put you on the cross for this discussion."

Reluctantly, Rob sat. He thought he could point out her response to his safe-word was to invoke a new sessions and resume, but stayed silent.

"I want you to be able to examine and express your feelings during these activities. Better self-examination helps you deal with the experience, internalize and accept."

Rob said nothing.

"You are thinking something, say it!"

"Mistress, what I am thinking cannot be said under your clear rules of etiquette in this place."

Michelle smiled. "Now we're getting somewhere. For the sake of your learning, I'll make an exception. Say something totally honest to me on this subject."

"Mistress, you seem to make the assumption I want to be more comfortable going out in public crossdressed. Blather all you want about internalizing, I assure you, I have internalized and not accepted. Quite the contrary, I reject the very idea, as I have made clear to you."

She gave him a piercing look. "You really feel this way?"

"You know what my limits agreement says. You have a sense of the consequence Helena must bear if a limit is violated. The only reason I haven't already called you out for a violation is your instructions left me latitude to address for myself the problem of going out in public to retrieve the newspaper."

"I thought Helena took all your male clothes. Do you have some, hidden away in your room?"

"I did not wear male clothes out to collect the newspaper." This response he'd rehearsed in the morning, expecting to redirect her from the question she'd asked.

"How did you work around?"

"Perhaps Mistress intends to modify her instructions to close a loophole. I find myself unable to advise you."

Michelle crossed her arms. "Your time for being totally honest has now expired. Now, tell me what you did."

"To protect you and to protect Helena from consequences, Mistress, I answer this way: what else do you wish to discuss?"

She looked at him a long time. "How was the spanking?"

"Do what you will, Mistress."

"Oh, just stop it! I asked you a question."

"I gave you the only answer appropriate when I am in a session. Mistress."

"Then you're bloody well dismissed, Rob!"

Rob rose, collected his clothing and exited.

She'd dealt with submissives who pushed back, resisted because they wanted to provoke more severe treatment. In Helena's basement she'd wondered if Rob might be this kind of submissive. She could see he certainly was not.

An hour passed before Rob and Michelle saw each other again. Rob was back in his maid's uniform, polishing the table when Michelle came into the room. "What shall we eat for dinner, Rob?"

"I have the ingredients set out for linguine with clam sauce, if it pleases you, ma'am."

"It pleases me, thank you. Let's have some haricots verts to go with."

"Yes, ma'am." All this time he continued to polish.

"Rob, there will be another session this evening. At seven o'clock you must be in the black room, ready for me. It will be a little different from our past sessions."

"Yes, ma'am."

Rob prepared dinner and set one place at the table. Michelle came in, carrying a bottle of Chianti and two wine glasses. "Set the table for two," she commanded.

"Yes, ma'am." Rob had no problem setting a second place, he just didn't intend to take the seat during the meal.

When he served her, she told him to bring another plate and sit with her to eat.

"I'd rather not, ma'am."

"Trust, Rob. Now you have no choice. I wish to have company, even if I must make it happen on my terms."

Once he had brought another plate of pasta with green beans on the side, she had him stand beside his chair. She opened the a bottom drawer in her sideboard. Rob learned she kept BDSM items in it. She tightened a wide, leather belt around his waist. He recognized the style of the belt, with rings sewn on all along its length. She restrained his right hand in a cuff to the belt. His left hand went into a mitten of thick leather. She guided him into his seat. She took away his silverware, leaving only his fork.

"When you do not please me, slave, you'll discover I can make adjustments. Eat with me. I expect you to finish what you've been served."

Michelle intended he would make a mess of himself. Rob had another solution. He sat in his chair, his face composed and did nothing.

Michelle stopped eating when she saw his inaction. "What are you doing? Eat!"

"I followed your instructions, Mistress. I've already eaten."

"Then you'll bloody well sit there."

She ate in silence. She kept an eye on Rob, who kept his gaze on the wall off to one side of her. His face slowly transitioned from resignation, to anger, then to sorrow. When he looked down at the table, she saw his jaw set.

"Black."

"I'm doing nothing to harm you."

Rob rose from his seat and walked around to stand beside her chair. "I hadn't realized there were conditions under which you reserved the right to neglect my safeword. Quite Marion-like of you." He thrust his mittened hand to her to release it. Anticipating he would do it, she managed to not react. She took her time, looking him in the eye for a moment before she released his hand from the mitten, then the other from the belt. She rose and took off his belt, dropping everything on the floor.

"Aftercare, Rob. You ended a session with your safeword and we must discuss it." She pointed at the chair he'd been in and snapped her fingers. "Sit and talk to me."

She waited for him to sit before she did, shoving aside her unfinished dinner. "Rob, what is going on? I didn't hurt you at all."

"Physically, yes. This is was mind-fuck. I find myself with very little tolerance for it."

"Tell me what's going on."

"Mistress, I told you what I was up to at your breakfast this morning. You're one of the smartest people I've ever met, I doubt you missed my explanation. I am protecting myself by giving you no reason to still care for me after I'm gone from your lessons."

"Rob, you are proving skilled at making me feel lonely in my own home."

He shrugged. "I've felt the same way a few times myself."

"Would you please make a gesture of friendship and stay here with me? I'd like to talk, laugh a little, enjoy your company. In exchange, I can cancel tonight's session."

"You needn't cancel the session. When you call on me for friendship, I owe you that much." His face signaled to Michelle he was making a compromise.

"Drink some of the wine I poured for you."

After a few minutes of silence, Rob took just a sip of the wine and made a comment about it. They managed to carry a conversation as Michelle ate her dinner, sociable if inconsequential.

Rob had been watching the clock, he reached the point he had to speak. "It's nearly seven, ma'am, I must clear away the dishes before I go to your dungeon."

"Rob, screw the dishes. We'll walk down the stair together. You can clean in the morning."

"As you wish."

Chapter 10

Michelle stopped Rob from going straight to the dungeon. "I'd like a bit of fun." She led him up to his room instead. "Strip down. I want to watch you dress in the clothes we laid out for you yesterday."

She was gone for a moment, then reappeared. He noticed her wrap dress, it was the first time he'd seen her in a dress at home. She stood in his doorway to watch him as he carefully dressed.

It was something of a turn-on for her to see this man dressing himself in such feminine clothing. She saw how he overlapped the open-crotch knickers to give himself coverage, thinking it just what she had done in a similar situation. She watched him put on his corset and pull the cords snug, admiring he could do it for himself. Once he was in the dress and zipped, she spoke. "You need just a bit more, come with me." In her room, she applied a touch of blush to his cheeks and gave him a pink lipstick to apply.

"Now, we can go down."

They descended, Rob finding the attention he'd received as he dressed had a calming influence on his fears of what the session might entail.

Michelle directed him to the black door. "Go straight through."

He emerged into the dungeon just as Michelle did. She was still wearing her dress. She looked ready to go out for drinks, instead of a mistress about to dominate a man.

"It's to be the St. Andrews cross tonight." She made no effort to remove any of his clothes. "Ah, there is one thing. However artfully you closed your pretty knickers, at this time I require you to hang out." Rob made the adjustment she required.

She fastened his wrists into cuffs as Rob stood before the x-cross. Rob noticed he was facing another video monitor. It seemed she had the ability to make them appear where she wanted them. As she secured his ankles in cuffs, Michelle said, "Rob, here is tonight's challenge: I understand you don't wish to get an erection during corporal punishment. I understand, it's fine, might even be a sensible decision. But there are sessions when your erection is required."

She wrapped a belt around his waist. Before pulling it snug she lifted the front hem of his dress, tucking up under the belt. She attached the belt to the cross.

"Tonight I require you hard within the next five minutes. You shall stay hard for at least half an hour, preferably longer. I assure you there will be no sexual contact, not intentionally. I may touch you by accident as I check to confirm. You can avoid this unwanted contact by putting an unmistakable tent in your petticoat. I imagine you might enjoy how it feels."

"I'll give you some assistance with the erection." She stepped to her computer, behind him. "I prepared some video for you to watch. The session will continue until you tell me you want to stop or the video clips come to an end. I have about three hours set up here. You can relax, there will be no punishments. This session is not about pain, it's about pleasure."

The first video appeared on the screen, it was a woman pushing a man down on his back, straddling over his face and requiring him to lick her. Rob thought there was no harm in letting himself be aroused by the images. By the end of the second video, two lesbians kissing and caressing sensually, he was quite hard. He lost track of where Michelle was, she was out of his view.

Five or six clips into the show, Michelle reappeared before him. Standing beside the screen displaying porn clips, her back to him, she opened her dress and let it fall to the floor. Under the dress she wore only a matching bra and hipster set in sheer, lavender lace. Unsure what she wanted, he quickly moved his gaze back to the screen before him. She turned to face him, commanded his attention. "Look at me. Watch me undress."

He moved his eyes to look at her. She brushed her fingers along his petticoats, causing a thrilling sensation as the soft chiffon moved across his head. "Just making sure." She slipped the hipster down her legs first, with her back to him, then turned to face him as she unhooked her bra.

She draped the bra over his shoulder. "One day soon you and I must go shop for a bra set like this for you to wear."

This he wouldn't mind, he gave her a polite smile. He liked shopping for lingerie, he could recommend shops to her.

Michelle smiled back, thinking, he wants to go shopping, but he may not like a proper fitting for a bra with her helping choose the styles.

She disappeared from his view again and he returned his attention to the screen to watch a middle-aged couple kissing and undressing each other on a blanket in the middle of a meadow. It seemed a familiar setting, perhaps from the series he'd seen at Cathy's.

Michelle reappeared briefly to check he was still hard, with just a glance. Rob saw she'd tied a sheer wrap around her waist. Although it covered her like a skirt, the sheer fabric concealed nothing.

Between two clips he was given just a glimpse of a video with an entirely different character. A woman's hand was securing a dildo to a horse, like the horses in Marion's and Helena's basement dungeons. It was over in just a few seconds, then the next porn clip began.

He began to see glimpses of the woman and the dildo every few minutes. They became more frequent, each clip lasting longer. He could see the horse, the dildo, her legs. Behind her, the video showed the legs of a man, facing away and apparently secured on an x-cross. In successive scenes, mixed in among the clips, he saw her hand apply lube to the dildo, then in quite a long clip he saw her from behind, the same hand applying lube to her bum. After one more porn clip, a couple in sixty-nine, she reappeared, this time with a finger pushing lube inside. The clip lasted long enough for Rob to see her pull the one finger out and insert two fingers.

Five or six minutes passed without another view of the woman. He watch the porn scenes impatiently. When she reappeared, she had her arse up against the dildo. The clip lasted half a minute, her bum motionless, the head pressing right up against her opening.

The next porn clip ended in the middle, the video now showed the woman pressing down, slowly impaling herself on the dildo. He heard soft sounds, they almost seemed to be coming from behind him instead of from the video. All too soon the next porn clip started, but it seemed the erotic sounds continued.

When the woman with the dildo next appeared, she was well down on the horse, the dildo penetrating her arse. Her hand appeared with a small vibrator, which she moved between her legs. To Rob, the soft hum of the vibrator seemed to come from behind him. He realized the woman in the video had something sheer pulled up around her waist, it was Michelle, live and right behind him.

He tried to turn to look, but she was out of his view. "The view from the screen is much better." Her voice sounded both aroused and amused.

Watching the screen, he was very much aware of the sounds were live, coming from right behind him. Now, the video stayed on Michelle, the clips left behind. He rediscovered the gentle caress of his petticoats, a soft sensation on his erect head.

Moving the vibrator around, Michelle began to move up and down, fucking herself with the dildo. Her hip motions became more urgent, she thrust herself down on the big cock with more vigor, moaning more loudly at the pleasure. Finally, she pressed slowly down, bending her knees then lifting her feet to make sure she was filled as much as possible. With a loud groan she began to come. Rob felt like he could almost come with her. He moved his hips, what little he could, but to no effect.

On the video screen, the vibrator was switched off, but she stayed down on the dildo. Finally, she eased up and the dildo popped out of her. "Back to clips." The image of the dungeon left the screen, replaced by a woman, alone on a bed, using a dildo in her pussy, her other hand busily rubbing her clit.

The clips continued, Michelle was not visible for quite some time. She took the bra off his shoulder. When she stepped in front of him, she had put on her bra but was still wearing just the transparent skirt. It was an erotic combination to Rob's eyes. She checked to make sure he was still hard.

"It's been a well over your required half hour, I'll be happy to let you go longer. I just wanted you to know you've met your minimum."

"I am ready to stop when it suits you, Mistress."

"A few minutes more, there's one more clip you must watch." She stepped back to her computer.

In a moment the video screen switched to show Rob's face, evidence of Michelle's lascivious act visible behind him, her loud sounds coming from the speaker. Rob looked at himself, aroused entirely by the live sex show, practically no physical stimulation. He couldn't believe the look of pure lust on his face as he listened to Michelle's orgasm.

"That, slave, is how you must feel about your mistress, no matter who she is."

She took her time releasing him. When he was completely free, he was still hard.

Chapter 11

She took him to the horse and told him to help her removed the dildo. "There is a sink behind the blue door. Clean it thoroughly." When he returned to her, clean dildo in hand, she was moving two chairs to face each other. "I trust I have met the requirement to show you I have tried the dildo out myself?"

Rob's cock lurched as he realized he was holding a dildo she intended to use on him in the coming days. "You weren't required to show me, Mistress, but you have most definitely fulfilled the requirement."

"Sit." She spoke as soon as he landed on the chair. She sat before him as she spoke. "A question I failed to ask yesterday, we ended up talking about just one thing. The water balloons, giving you breasts. Did you like the experience?"

"It was pretty distracting at first, Mistress and far larger breasts than the forms I've used in the past. The sway as I walked changed how I balanced."

"I'd like to take you out in breasts as large."

The look of horror on his face was priceless. If she couldn't take him out dressed, she thought, she could at least terrorize him with the prospect.

"What is your objection?"

He looked her in the eye for a moment. "Let's start with not going out crossdressed."

"Assume we agree you'll go out with me, you responded specifically to breasts that large."

"Look, a man like me doesn't pass as a woman by emphasizing features beyond normal. Breasts of such a size call attention to me, when I would want to blend in, avoid attention. Just as I wouldn't wear such high heels out, they make me too tall."

"What if we're taking you out as a man in women's clothing?"

Michelle was surprised he didn't respond with horror again. "A man in women's clothing doesn't have enormous breasts. Look, I find nothing appealing in those drag queens who make themselves into a caricature of a woman. If I were so foolish as to go out, I'd rather pass as a plain, ordinary woman. If not, then a man in a dress. If someone found a way to drag me out as a man in women's clothing, I would insist on nothing artificial, just a man's body under the dress."

"What if I want to show you in public as a caricature of a woman?"

He looked at the floor in silence for a very long time. Michelle almost spoke, but something about the set of his mouth told her he was thinking, not simply refusing to speak. She gave him time.

He finally spoke, eyes still down. "I respect women too much to be a caricature of them. Leave that to someone with different motives."

She didn't respond. When Rob raised his eyes, she saw her looking at him with approval. "Well said."

"And, anyone who tries to get me out in public under any circumstance is facing documented consequences, which fall primarily on Helena." His look changed from frank to challenging. "I expect I can find ways to assure the person who tries it experiences consequences as well."

"I understand and I have many reasons to avoid making Helena unhappy. Now, you say in public. What about going out in private?"

"How does that work?"

"I'll take you in my car, I take you to a private club."

"I can imagine what kind of club. I've seen one. That one exposure left me with quite a poor impression."

"Some people go there to play. Some go only watch. All you must do is watch. You'll be there under my protection."

"I can't go dressed in a nice suit and tie?"

"Appropriate clothes are mandatory, the rules are quite like mine, here. You can wear what you like or nothing at all, but it must be in the fetish theme."

"I'd be there as your sub. I suppose you want me in something what makes me feel vulnerable?"

"Yes. A French maid uniform, for example. And I can give you a nice mask, if you fear being recognized. Many come to these events masked."

"I must think on it." He was aware she was clearly describing something she intended to do.

Michelle was thinking, well, he didn't refuse out of hand.

"Rob, I have you walking in very high heels and very large breasts so a more normal shoe, a more normal chest, will seem easy."

"I don't see why we want to work at making it seem easy."

"It's part of what Helena wants."

"Why would Helena want that?"

"So you can accompany her."

"To such a BDSM club?"

"Yes, events ... of that nature."

"Why should I accompany her? This is a new thing, why even does she consider going?" He slapped his leg. Look, Mich -- Mistress, a BDSM club is especially troublesome; Helena certainly should understand why. She could raise going out to restaurants, shopping, movies - even theater, I might be less likely to object. What more does she expect?" It was even more clear they had an arrangement he didn't know about. His eyes met hers, she saw accusation on his face. "And why in hell doesn't she deny having plans instead of telling me about them? Helena has questions to answer when the time comes. You have plans I've not been told about, when Helena swears she has no plans. Once again a challenging idea is asked of me in a setting where Helena is shielded from having to face my concerns herself."

Michelle hesitated. She'd intended to make him just a tiny bit curious. The conversation had instead gone in a direction she didn't want to touch. He had gone so swiftly to information Helena was to share with him later. "We wondered whether you would be willing to go out again, to a restaurant or a bistro or one of these clubs, dressed as a woman. Just wondering if it might happen."

"Helena does not discuss such topics out of casual interest. She has something in mind. Once again planning things affecting me, a lot, but not a word to me about it." Rob was not convinced Michelle had spoken the entire truth.

"Right, now to the main course. Did you enjoy the little video show?"

"It was - it was okay."

Michelle could hear the caution in his voice. "Come now, I said this session was all about pleasure, there is no punishment. Tell me more about your experience."

"The porn clips were ordinary. Some were good fun. Your live show was extraordinary."

"Talk about how you experienced it. How did you feel about being so hard, for close to an hour and having nothing you could do about it?"

He shrugged. "It happens often."

This surprised her. "Helena does tease and denial with you?"

"Oh, no. I don't think she's ever done that; not even Marion. I do it myself, it's part of the training I've taken on myself.

"Training you've taken on yourself?"

"Well, I've been coached, of course."

"You'd better tell me what you're talking about."

Now he was surprised. "I had the impression it was something expected of every sub, at a certain level. I'm trying to stay out ahead. I practice not getting hard, staying hard for a long time and being stimulated without coming."

"You said you have a coach?"

"Yes, Iris." Rob found the look on Michelle's face priceless. "I recall saying I sometimes visit Iris, had I not told you?"

"It was my understanding she was taking no subs."

"Oh, no, we don't do sessions. Iris has retired completely from the scene. I met her again because Helena and circle took me to her house, to confront her. The confrontation was overplayed by my four girlfriends. I herded them away and returned to speak with her. I gave her my apology. To her credit, she apologized to me. Now, we get together to talk a bit. She understands now how odd I am. She's given me advice and I must say the advice is excellent. Remember you once told me just to say no to Helena and Marion? She agrees and she's suggested ways to say no. We've become, I would say friends. I bring her a bottle of wine and we spend the afternoon talking, at times casual, other times quite purposeful."

"Helena knows about this?"

"I'm not in the habit of telling Helena where I go each time I leave her place so I doubt she understands how often I visit Iris. Still, I've plainly said to her I do visit." It seemed to him the information was troubling her. "You can tell Helena, it makes no difference to me."

"I remember now, you mentioned chats with Iris during our first session, that special Saturday morning." On impulse she changed the subject. "Rob, tell me how you felt about our session in Helena's dungeon. What were you thinking?"

"Two strong impressions. The first is you were quite a skilled mistress. I was expecting a more harsh experience, but what you did was all subtlety. The second is it was Helena's usual bollocks, mixing together things completely inappropriate for a session, thing your discuss in real life."

"I can tell you who wants a baby."

His face darkened. He stiffened, not quite rising from his chair. She recognized the warning his controlled voice signaled, quiet and artificially calm. "A topic holding no interest to me. Helena was giving me away to a friend, thinking not in the least about parenting, just about impregnation. Why should I father a child if I won't then be the father?"

His voice began losing its calm. "Listen, Michelle, I am not a chattel. I can't be just given away, handed around, shared like a toy. This is precisely why I require monogamy to Helena. She has been quite poor about making the distinction between real life and a session. The crap about servicing any and all during the engagement party, showing off how she could make me crossdress and worse, how she could force me to strip: she has no idea how close I came to take her whip away from her and hitting her with it, very hard. Sylvia, of course, would have put me on the floor for it, but the party would have been spoilt in any event.

"It isn't the floggings, you know, I can take most of the physical torment. The mind-fucks hurt, as you've seen, they hurt very much. The canings that didn't happen: I was punishing all four of them for conspiring to make me lonely in my own home." He stopped himself from revealing his thoughts too deeply, but there was a sentence, at least, he could hope Helena would hear from Michelle. "When it's intentional, and I can usually tell, I can bear it, I can take something intentional. But casual, negligent crap, that's what brings me to a boil very quickly."

He glared at her. "Train that out of me!"

"You are still in a session, slave, and I've been giving you too much latitude."

"Black, then, and I'm now done for the day." He rose and walked to the black door.

Michelle waited until his hand was on the doorknob. "Trust, Rob. Here, first position, now!"

He spun where he stood, walked back quickly, eyes down, for all appearances the complete submissive. He knelt and assumed first position. She stopped for a moment to admire how nice he looked, floral dress, hands demurely on his thighs, eyes downcast. Quite feminine.

She moved her chair close to him, sat and put a finger under his chin and tilted his face upward as she leaned down to him. They were nose to nose. "Rob, you must figure out how to deal with the negligent mind-fucks. It may be her negligence is a barrier to your relationship with her. I am looking for ways to help you whilst we train here, but negligence does not come easily for me. I understand you very well, you know; it would take enormous care and concentration to make you feel I'm being negligent toward you. I will, however, be happy to discuss how you feel." She sat back up. "I'd be so happy to have you live with me full-time, if it came to you leaving Helena."

Rob answered calmly. "A notion holding no interest, Mistress." He paused, looking up to her eyes. "And I don't believe you would keep me here for long."

"Rob, dear, you are dismissed. There will be nothing else today. And, Rob, I'm sorry I messed with you about eating with me. I was wrong. You eat where you please, you keep the distance you think appropriate."

Rob gave her a smile. "Except now."

"Don't worry about breakfast for me in the morning, it turns out I'm going to my office early."