Crossed Lines Pt. 12: Flirt w/ Tom

// Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the delay in getting this next part out. I've been experiencing quite a bit of major depressive disorder these last several months so please bear with me. //

Recap:

Part 1: This part takes place after Part 2 through Part 10. It details a breaking point in Aiden and Lacey's relationship that results in infidelity.

Part 2: The chronological start of the series. Given Lacey's promotion and long work hours, Aiden uses porn for sexual release. This made it difficult to maintain an erection. Insecure about his erectile dysfunction, Lacey avoids sex. To spice things up and stop him from masturbating, they use a male-chastity that he wears when Lacey working. Sexually unsatisfied, Aiden starts crossdressing. Due to the chastity, he can't find relief via orgasm, causing his crossdressing to amplify.

Part 3: The sexism and misogyny Lacey faces at work left her feeling a lack of control and security. When she catches Aiden crossdressing she takes out her frustrations on him by making him wear the chastity and her clothes much longer than planned. Despite the lack of sex, Aiden likes the punishment. He becomes the best "housewife" by fulfilling all household chores. But going to the community laundry room required him to pass as a real woman. This motivated him to improve his makeup, feminize his voice, and exercise his glutes.

Part 4: His female persona 'Bri', became a frequent fixture, with Lacey encouraging it. This created a sense of control for her, and she no longer felt obligated to have sex with him. Lacey treats Bri to a shopping spree at a thrift store, buying her first set of female outfits. She then takes them for a drink at a gay bar.

Part 5: Aiden is crossdressing at least 3 times a week now, and is better at passing. He surprises Lacey with facials at a day spa. Aiden's esthetician recommends he try temporary lip fillers. Lacey encourages him to follow through with it.

Part 6: Aiden believes 'passing' at a straight bar is most validating. He convinces Lacey to go out to a bar called The Nebraska. Over drinks, they discuss fantasies, like their attraction to men. The conversation escalates to Aiden/Bri disclosing she finds a man at the bar to be cute. Bri turns to go to the bathroom and bumps into him, causing his drink to spill.

Part 7: Bri meets the man's girlfriend Jess, and they exchange numbers. The evening ends with Lacey and Bri fantasizing about Bri having sex with men and discussing the use of a strap-on. Lacey instructs Bri to book her first laser hair removal appointment.

Part 8: Feeling insecure about having a square-shaped waist, Bri purchases tight-fitting shape-wear to give her an hourglass figure. Jess texts Bri and encourages her to create an Instagram which she does. Lacey tests Bri's obedience by making her get her ears pierced. Aiden/Bri misses an important work meeting in order to satisfy her commands. Lacey then orders Bri to purchase a strap-on dildo.

Part 9: Lacey makes Aiden wear the strap-on while he is still wearing the chastity. She orgasms and then fucks him with the strap-on while he's dress as a woman. They fantasize about him getting a boob-job. This part ends while Lacey is fucking Bri with the strap-on.

Part 10: Bri follows through on her laser hair removal appointment, encouraged by Lacey. They discuss how expensive it is, and begin researching insurance workarounds to afford future sessions. Lacey becomes more comfortable with Bri's feminine persona in public settings. Bri gets a surprise text from Jess inviting them out again.

Part 11: Bri books a Planned Parenthood appointment to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis so insurance will cover laser hair removal. Though she plans to fake it, the experience becomes real, and she's surprised when the doctor offers her hormones. Bri agrees, thinking it will help justify the diagnosis. Bri and Lacey plan another night out, with Lacey teasing Bri about flirting with Tom again.

Part 12

As Tom walked away to buy me a drink I gasped for breath, fighting against the tight fitting shapewear around my waistline.

I wore the smallest sized shapewear I had, wanting to look as feminine as possible. I loved how it gave me a nice figure, making my hips and fake breasts more pronounced.

The constant pressure was a reminder of my feminine presentation.

The loud music felt like a good distraction in the crowded nightclub as I struggled to get my variance after that intensely flirtatious banter with Tom.

I shocked myself with how well I could flirt. Flirting with women as Aiden had always been a disaster, yet here I was, effortlessly teasing and enticing a man like it was coded into my DNA. I guess I assumed I would be way more nervous and awkward around Tom, especially knowing that he might have a thing for my female persona.

Although I still felt a little nervous about him returning to talk to me, there was a lot less fear associated with that. I now felt nervously excited about talking to him again.

What was so wild was the positive feedback I was getting from him. Within minutes he offered to buy me a drink!

Why am I way more confident and comfortable being a woman at a nightclub than being a man?

It didn't really matter because I was starting to have a lot of fun. I turned around, carefully balancing on my heels, looking for Lacey; I couldn't wait to tell her that I was getting a drink bought for me!

Spotting her with Jess, I slipped between bodies to join them, the fabric of my dress sliding against my thighs with each step. Jess turned to me with a grin and said while pointing, "Oh hey, I saw that you finally made an Instagram. Did you see I added you?"

Fuck. My heart dropped for a little bit and I glanced at Lacey quickly to see her reaction. I really wished Jess hadn't said that. Mainly because I should have spoken to Lacey first about making an Instagram account for my female persona.

"Oh... yea," I responded cheerfully, attempting to mask my fear.

"Instagram?" Lacey said, looking more confused than annoyed.

"Yea, I peer-pressured Bri to make one," Jess replied, alcohol mingling on her breath. "She didn't tell you?"

Jess came across as a little harsh and competitive. Like one of the characters from that Mean Girls movie.

Lacey glared at me. I could tell it upset her.

"No, he didn't-- she didn't, I mean," Lacey answered, taking the opportunity to take a jab at me.

"It's nothing really, I'm not following anyone or anything like that," I said, trying to pass my Instagram account as no big deal.

I was worried that Lacey might think I was keeping it a secret. I was sort of keeping it a secret but I didn't really think it was a big deal even tho I figured she might think it was.

Jess could pick up on the growing tension and awkwardness between Lacey and I. Not knowing we were a married straight couple she said, "Bri, Insta is a single girl's resume. That's the first thing a guy's going to look at after meeting you."

I exchanged a short awkward glance with Lacey before saying to Jess, "I'm not really looking for anyone right now. Just working on myself."

"Ok, hold on," Lacey said a bit forcefully as she stuck her finger out to make a point. "You did call dibs on Tom, remember?"

What the fuck?! Why would she say that out loud? Oh my god... what if Jess says something to Tom?

I mean technically she's right, I did call dibs on Tom, but it was during our dirty talk in the bedroom. I'm surprised she even remembered me saying that.

I must have looked like a deer in headlights, before turning to look at Jess to observe her reaction.

She looked surprised and intrigued as she heard the tea Lacey just spilled.

"I can sense some competition going on here," Jess said loudly over the music and noise of the club as she took another drink from her cocktail glass. "You should definitely jump on it before he gets on the dating apps."

"Is he not on Tinder or bumble?" Lacey asked.

"No, but he's been thinking about starting one," Jess replied.

Lacey then looked at me and asked half joking, "Do you have a Tinder or a bumble you're not telling anyone about?"

"No," I replied quickly. "I've never had one."

"Bri, what?" Jess asked with a surprised look on her face. "How have you never used a dating app?"

I cocked my head at an angle and lied, "I just don't want to be judged. It makes me nervous and what if nobody likes me?"

"Bri, you're a babe," Jess said as she motioned with her hand, pointing to my body. "You'd get so many guys to swipe on you. Are you on the dating apps, Lacey?"

"No," Lacey said, shaking her head, before saying something that surprised me, "But now I'm thinking about it."

I couldn't tell if she was being serious or taking a jab at me with that statement.

"What if you both make Tinder accounts and see how many swipes you can get," Jess spoke, clearly more intrigued by the conversation than Lacey and I.

My cock started throbbing in my groin as I imagined Lacey swiping right on other men. Would they touch her like Tom had touched me? Would they do more?

I could feel my breaths getting shorter and faster as the shapewear continued to compress my waist. The conversation wasn't helping.

To my relief I felt a hand at the small of my back, lingering just above the curve of my ass. It was Tom.

His fingers pressed into my waist slightly, possessively. It wasn't just flirtatious--it was claiming territory, and my body liked it.

He was holding two cocktails in his other hand, gesturing for me to take one.

I reached with both hands and took the cocktail from him, my painted nails briefly brushed against his masculine hands.

Normally, I wouldn't notice a casual brush of my fingers against someone else's, but this was different. It was the first time my 'female hands' ever interacted with a man's.

I didn't hate it. It didn't feel "gay" either. In fact, I wanted our hands to touch again. Would our hands touch again?

Tom didn't put himself into the conversation between the three of us 'girls' and instead stood to my side implying that I turn to talk to him.

I felt a little guilty but I didn't feel like Lacey was happy with me at that moment so I didn't want to talk with her. Instead I delicately turned to face Tom.

At the corner of my eye I could see Jess and Lacey shooting glances at me as they spoke amongst themselves. I could tell that Jess was talking about whatever chemistry there could be between Tom and I, and I'm sure Lacey was playing along.

I shot another glance back at Lacey and she did not look pleased. I felt like I was on her shit list but I really didn't want to deal with that right now. I figure I'll ask for forgiveness rather than permission and keep chatting with Tom.

"You gotta let me know what you think," Tom said, motioning to the cocktail I was holding.

"Oh, thank you," I said in my girliest voice as I shot him a sweet smile. Our eyes met for a moment longer than necessary.

My thoughts returned to how he got my attention by placing his hand on my lower back. It really enforced the femininity I was feeling all night in this outfit. It was so validating to have another man touch me gently as if I were a woman.

I must be getting tipsy because I felt so confident. It was this weird feeling like everything was going right and nothing could be wrong in that moment.

I guess it's odd that I would describe it as weird but the more I think about it the more I realize that confidence was a foreign feeling to me. It wasn't something that I ever really felt in my life.

In girl-mode, confidence is something I've found myself feeling a lot more often. I guess that's one of the reasons why I continue to explore my feminine side.

It doesn't hurt that Tom is boosting my ego. He's so charming, witty, and flirty. I love the validation he's giving me and I don't really want to stop. But now I'm worried because I don't want him to get any ideas. How do I keep a guy like Tom in the friend zone while still being really flirty with him?

At what point do I hit the brakes and end this seemingly natural escalation between us?

I held the straw of my cocktail between my painted finger nails and took a sip. My eyes traveled upwards to meet Tom's. He was making direct eye contact with me and smiling.

I looked away, shy and brimming.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"I like it," I lied, then twirling the straw with one finger I added with a playful smirk, "But I'm more curious about what you're drinking."

His smile widened.

"Well, why don't you try it," he said, before handing his drink to me.

I instinctively took his cocktail in my hand and thought about how sharing drinks with someone is quite an intimate thing to do. I felt a little guilty and wondered what Lacey might think if she saw me. I brought up the glass to my lips and took a sip while simultaneously turning slightly around to see if Lacey was watching.

But she was no longer standing there. I was a bit relieved at that but also a tiny bit concerned about where she could have gone.

"It's really good," I said to Tom before handing the drink back to him. Then feeling a little brave because Lacey wasn't there, I said with prolonged eye contact, "I like your taste."

Tom paused, setting his eyes on my lips, and replied, "I have good taste in lots of things."

My heart was racing as we stood there incredibly close. I also got extremely nervous because as he looked at my lips I instinctively looked at his and realized we were within kissing range.

That pause lasted way longer than I wanted. What was I thinking?! Not just that but the feelings I was going through were wild. Why did I pause? Was I expecting him to kiss me?

I awkwardly looked down at my drink and brought the straw to my lips and took quite the large sip. Since the cocktail was mostly full of ice I was going through it pretty fast.

We continued chatting for quite a bit before Tom noticed how quickly I drank my cocktail and said, "I should have got you a double. Let me get you another one."

Before I could say no and tell him that I had to find Lacey he turned slightly to begin walking through the crowd then he reached out with his hand motioning me to grab it.

My body moved before my mind could catch up.

When our hands met it felt so thrilling, and sexual even. It also felt like I was cheating on Lacey. It felt so wrong to feel our hands grasping each other.

All of this flirty build-up was no longer just harmless banter. It felt more real now.

He was so gentle with me, holding my manicured hand so softly. What if Lacey saw us?! I would feel so awful.

I was surprised at how much it turned me on too!

I'm not gay, and although it didn't feel gay to hold his hand, I couldn't help but be shocked at how much I enjoyed holding onto a man's hand.

It felt safe, like I was being taken care of, as he guided me through all those people. Some were dancing, huddled closely together.

It was such a validating thrill to know what it feels like to be a girl in a nightclub.

If you saw us you'd think we were 'together', and that thought sent a warm tingly sensation down between my legs where my dick was locked in chastity.

Tom continued to guide me through the moving bodies. My padded chest brushing up against random strangers as my heels clicked against the sticky floor. I was hyper-aware of everything: how warm his hand was, how confident his steps were, how I was letting myself be pulled further and further.

He gripped my hand with more firmness as we pushed through the more crowded areas. I reciprocated his grip and squeezed onto his fingers more tightly. Holding on to another man's hands in a way that wasn't a handshake was very new to me. In fact I was holding it with a sense of desire. It felt so strange and wrong but I still liked it and I couldn't resist him.

I couldn't believe that all this work I'd put together to look like a woman and now I was finally feeling like I was being accepted and treated as one. The way he held my hand with our fingers almost entwined felt like this entire fantasy was actually real. It was such a simple gesture but it was a completely new and validating thing to experience.

Tom was giving me a sort of validation I've never felt for anyone before.

All these feelings started to terrify me because I had this random thought that I want to do this again. I want to recreate this night over and over. I want to go clubbing on a regular basis and I want to see Tom more.

Why couldn't I be this confident as Aiden? Why was it so much more fun and comfortable and safe when I'm dressed as a woman?

When we finally escaped the crowd he continued holding on to my hand and I continued holding on to his, not wanting to let go.

It wasn't until we finally reached the bar itself that he let go to flag the bartender down.

"Another for the lady," Tom said smoothly, "Make it a double."

He then turned to me, his eyes glancing over me in a way that wasn't crude--but intentional.

I bit my lip, shifting slightly on my heels. My heart was beating faster than it should've been. I loved that he kept looking at me with hungry eyes. It was so validating and it really made me feel like I was an attractive woman. I couldn't get enough of his validation.

"You okay?" he asked, leaning in, his voice just loud enough to cut through the music.

I nodded, though my brain was screaming. You need to find Lacey.

But God, it felt so nice to be looked at this way.

The bartender set the drink on the bar, and Tom handed it to me like he'd done it a hundred times before. I wrapped my fingers around the glass, brushing his in the process.

"Thank you," I said, looking up at him sheepishly like a helpless and thankful girl.

I then reached for the straw, noticing Tom's eyes following it as I brought it to my lips and took a sip.

"There's something compelling about you," he said, his voice dropping slightly. "You've got this energy, something about you. I'm not sure what it is."

My throat tightened a little, because there is something about me. I'm not a woman and I don't think he has a clue about it.

"Maybe you don't want to know," I replied, trying to sound playful, but it came out a little too honest.

Tom smiled, "I think you do."

I didn't respond. I couldn't.

I looked away, scanning the room again for any sign of Lacey--but the sea of bodies all blurred together. I couldn't see her. Couldn't feel her presence. And the guilt, the panic, it started to creep up my spine again.

Tom must've noticed because he stepped in just slightly. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," I said, a little too quickly. "I just... I need to check on my friend."

He nodded, but didn't step back. "You think she might be back in the crowd where we were standing earlier?"

"Um, maybe," I replied with a feminine shrug of my shoulders.

I should have just gone on my own to look for her but Tom didn't make a good point. We should at least go back to that spot to make sure she's not there before I go out looking for her again.

Tom held his hand out like a gentleman and I set my hand in it. This time it felt a little more sensual as he held onto my hand more securely while guiding me through the crowd again.

When we got to the spot, Lacey wasn't there.

"If we stay here she'll know where we are if she comes looking for us," Tom said, making another good point.

Hopefully, Lacey won't be upset with me.

I nervously took another long sip of my cocktail, careful not to smudge my lipstick.

"I should at least try to text her," I said to Tom as I reached for my purse to pull out my phone.

I could see Tom pulling something out of his pocket. It was his phone.

"Since you have your phone out," Tom said, "Why don't you give me your number so I can text you if we lose each other in the crowd tonight."

"Oh... yeah sure," I said, a little caught off guard.

Was this actually happening? Was I getting a guy's number?

Tom unlocked his phone then said, "What's your number?"

I gave it to him carefully, making sure he heard each number correctly.

"Okay, let me text you right now to make sure I put it down right," he said.

I stood there patiently and excitedly waiting for his text to arrive.

My phone then buzzed in my hand as a text notification from him came in.

"Where is your area code from?" Tom asked.

"Chicago," I said, as I took another sip on my straw, and completely forgetting to text Lacey.

Tom asked me a bunch of questions about Chicago, forcing me to be hyper aware about how much information to give him. I was really worried about how to tell him about Lacey and I moving to Portland together. He did ask about that and I ended up lying to him and telling him we both just happened to get jobs in Portland around the same time.

I downed my cocktail pretty quickly because I wanted to go find her, and I didn't want to talk about myself anymore.

I lifted my cocktail up slightly and said, "I do have to find Lacey after I'm done with this one. For real this time."

"Yea, sure. Do you want another one of those when you get back?" Tom asked, leaning in close as he gently squeezed my arm.

It was a very flirtatious and forward gesture. Fuck, I felt like I was way in too deep now. I should probably create some space between us before he actually tries to kiss me or something.

"Um... maybe I'll try a different cocktail," I answered with anxious energy. "What do you think?"

"Oh, I could give you a few suggestions," he said, his voice dipping slightly. "But I'd need to know what kind of night you're hoping for."

I laughed nervously, not sure which direction to take this conversation. But I couldn't help myself. I really liked our banter so I said, "Are you trying to get me in trouble?"

He stepped just a little closer, his hand reaching up to gently brush a strand of hair behind my ear. His face inches from mine.

"Too late," he said quietly. "You might be in trouble already."

My heart began pounding. I felt this nervous energy that I only ever remember feeling when I was a teenager going on a first date. I felt a pulse of arousal inside the tight cage beneath my dress. I swallowed, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Am I now?" I asked, forcing a smile as I tilted my head slightly and took a sip from my straw.

"Cops are waiting outside," he teased. His gaze flicked from my eyes to my lips and back again.

"Oh shit," I played along, turning to look at the exit. "My perfect record is ruined."

"Wait, you're telling me you've never been arrested before?" Tom asked, feigning surprise.

"I don't think I should disclose that," I joked back.

"Oh, so you've been handcuffed before," Tom flirted with a raised eyebrow as he glanced down beneath my lips at my hourglass shaped body.

My look of surprise was a little more genuine as I dropped my jaw and raised both my eyebrows at him.

This was dangerous. I could tell where he was leading the conversation.

I had a choice to make.

I could lean in to his flirty banter or cool things down... but I couldn't help myself again! The alcohol made me feel way too brave. And the way he looked at me... it left me feeling incredibly confident.

Don't say! No, do not say it, I thought to myself as I turned my head again to see if Lacey was nearby.

I felt dizzy--in a good way. This was new. And Lacey was somewhere nearby, probably unaware that I was one heartbeat away from saying something really, really stupid.

I just couldn't help myself from seeing how far I could go down this rabbit hole. When am I going to hit the brakes?

I decided now I was not the time to slow things down.

"I'm a good girl, Tom," I said, with the cutest and most innocent look I could give. "Could you imagine a girl like me in handcuffs?"

It made me feel so confidently feminine referring to myself as a good girl. My heart kept pounding rapidly as I nervously anticipated his response.

Tom very gently reached out and grabbed my wrist to lift it up higher so he could see it better in the dimly lit nightclub. His hand felt so smooth as he rubbed his thumb against the soft part of my wrist.

I was nervous as he looked down and inspected it, worried he might catch some glimpse of a masculine feature. Even though I had freshly painted nails and had completely removed the hair for my hands and arms, it's hard to make a male's hand look feminine.

"I have a pair that could fit," Tom said as he kept a firm but gentle grip on my wrist.

I looked up at his eyes and could see he wasn't smiling or smirking at all. He was looking at me quite seriously, implying something far more than just flirtatious banter.

He kept holding on to me as my heart pounded with nerves. I felt these weird butterfly sensations in my stomach. Sensations I haven't felt in a very long time. I tried taking a deep breath despite the tight shapewear restricting my lungs.

"Oh," I said, embarrassed by my deer-in-the-headlights reply.

I looked away shyly, glancing down at his chest--broad, solid. I then looked down at his masculine hand around my wrist. His buff forearms and thick fingers made my arm look so frail and delicate. The contrast made me feel so feminine... almost like an actual woman.

He slowly let go of my wrist leaving me feeling like I wanted more. I wanted more of that hand on my wrist. I wanted to touch him too with my own hands. My fingers twitched at the thought. I wanted to touch his forearm and see how big it looks beneath my painted fingernails.

What were these feelings and desires I was having?!

Am I actually attracted to Tom? Or am I just attracted to how feminine he makes me look and feel?

I was feeling all these strange and conflicting feelings as I realized how little control I had over myself around Tom.

Around us, the crowd started to sway with the music. I shuffled slightly, doing a slow, careful rhythm, just enough to not look frozen.

I surprised myself with how well I was able to move and flow with the music. I always thought I hated dancing, but I had only ever tried it as a man.

It felt way more comfortable moving to music as a woman. When you're in heels, a short dress and shapewear, your body can't move in a masculine manner. The only option was to move like a girl, which felt way more natural.

Tom was also moving with the music as the crowd grew tighter around us.

"You've got a cute sway," he said, shifting the conversation.

I was a bit relieved that we stopped talking about the handcuffs. But it also felt like we now had a different type of rapport between us, one that involved some sexual tension.

"Thanks," I said, genuinely pleased with his compliment. It made me feel even more feminine. Everything about Tom made me feel that way.

I felt so good as I swayed with the music, feeling more brave and feminine with each passing moment. It was a giddy feeling as I shifted my sway into more of a dance.

Is this how girls feel when they dance? I mean, I know girls love to go dancing even when it's just by themselves, but is that what I'm feeling right now? Because it feels good to dance like this even though the heels are starting to pinch around my toes.

What's weird about that feeling is that the subtle discomfort and pain around my feet acted as a constant reminder of my feminine persona. And I liked that a lot

I could feel the bass of the music thumping beneath my heels. Tom and I were now standing incredibly close to each other and the air between us got heavy. There's a tension building... into something, but I'm not sure exactly what that something was. I didn't really care as I was enjoying this new discovery about myself, that I liked to dance as a woman. It felt empowering.

I could smell Tom's cologne. It was rich, masculine, clean. I suddenly felt self-conscious about whether he could smell the floral perfume I spritzed on before I left the apartment.

I wanted to smell good for him.

I wanted his approval. I had this feeling of desiring to be subservient to him, sort of in the way I am subservient to Lacey back at home.

The thoughts were making their rounds in my mind as I fantasized what it would be like. What would it be like to have Tom as my keyholder instead of Lacey, I imagined.

The thought of serving a man really got me turned on in a way I hadn't felt before. I imagined myself doing his laundry, making him dinner, and massaging his big shoulders. It felt so naughty fantasizing about being a housewife for a man. But for some reason it also felt more right and appropriate.

It made me feel more like a straight woman, which is how I felt when I crossdressed as Bri.

When I served Lacey, I was doing it out of obligation due to being locked in chastity. In fact, I didn't even have sexual urges for her when I was dressed up. The housewife I feel around Lacey is one that has duties, chores and responsibilities. But the housewife I imagine being around Tom feels more womanly.

I imagined all of these incredibly arousing thoughts as I tried to dance in these heels.

"I'll warn you," I said, looking up at him just inches from his face, "I'm not exactly a pro in these heels."

"I'll catch you," he replied, without missing a beat.

God. That line.

I don't know if he was suave or if I was easily enamored by him.

We danced like that without saying much, faces too close, and my breaths shallow. I felt my lips part slightly, and I swear he leaned in just a fraction closer.

My brain was firing off every red alert I had, screaming: What are you doing? This is insane. Stop. Now!

And still... I didn't step back.

"I..." I started, then stopped. My voice cracked. "Sorry, I should check on Lacey."

Tom blinked like he was waking up from the same trance. His expression dropped only slightly, but I noticed.

"Yea, sure," he said, recovering fast.

"I'll be right back," I said, but this time I did something incredible that surprised me. I reached out and wrapped fingers around his forearm and squeezed it gently and just once before turning around and stepping off into the crowd.

As I turned, I felt his eyes still on me.

God help me, I liked it.

I scanned in all directions for Lacey but I couldn't see her

A flash of guilt hit me hard, sudden and sharp. God, how long had it been since I last checked in on her? Half an hour? More?

Despite the guilt I felt so invigorated as I walked through the crowd, knowing that there was someone here in this club that was really into me. I was thriving!

My black dress clung with each step, the hem swishing around my thighs as I walked with a sway I hadn't realized I'd learned. I adjusted my bra--well, the pads inside it--just to make sure everything was sitting right.

It was so strange, feeling this aware of myself and yet completely unsure of so many other things.

As I pushed my way through the crowd and towards the bar I spotted her instantly.

She had a big smile on her face, then broke out in a laugh.

And not the polite, distracted kind of laugh she gives when she's just trying to be nice. No, this was real. She had that open-mouth, throw-your-head-back kind of laugh that made her eyes sparkle and made you want to be the reason she laughed again.

She was talking to some guy. He was tall, confident looking, and leaning just close enough to make it obvious he was into her.

And she wasn't backing away.

I instinctively felt jealous and sensed a twist in my stomach. It felt so weird to feel my male persona come out in such a strong and negative way.

For a brief moment there I had to compose myself and remind myself that I was dressed like a woman. I stopped that in my tracks and had to snap myself out of whatever that was.

I began telling myself things like: Right now I am Bri. I'm Lacy's best friend. I want her to have fun in the same way she's letting me have fun. I'm being selfish right now. I'm a woman. I'm also locked in chastity and Lacey is in charge of me. Who do I think I am, questioning Lacy's behavior or motives?

That really helped calm me down as I reframed what I was feeling and realigned myself as Bri.

I took a deep breath through the shapewear and was finally able to break a smile as I watched Lacey have a good time.

She must be so thrilled right now, that feeling of being seen, of being flirted with and being desired. It was intoxicating, being the center of someone's attention.

So yeah, I was happy for her. Bri was happy for her. My male persona... not so much. But he wasn't here, and if he was he's locked in chastity.

I adjusted my dress, pulling it down my legs after it rode up a bit, then continued walking toward Lacey.

Something shifted in her expression.

Her smile faltered, but not entirely. She was still playing nice, but I could see it. The flash of guilt in her face. The way her eyes hardened slightly when they met mine. She looked like I'd interrupted something.

And suddenly, I felt like a stranger intruding on her moment.

I stepped closer, feeling the heels tightening around my feet. I never wore heels for this long so they were starting to hurt anyways I hadn't felt before, but I sort of liked it.

As I got close I could see that Lacey's body language was not different towards the guy she was talking to.

I tried approaching with a disarming smile as I held my purse delicately in one hand with the finished cocktail in the other.

"Finally decided to come find me, huh?" she said, voice sharp enough to cut through the music.

I blinked. "I--sorry. I didn't realize... I got caught up. Are you okay?"

She sighed, and the sound deflated me. "Can we talk? In the bathroom?"

She didn't wait for an answer. She just turned and walked.

I followed, my heels clicking against the floor, heart beating way too fast. The club was too hot, too loud, and suddenly it all felt suffocating. I felt like I was in trouble and that I had ruined things. I can't believe how much of an idiot I was. What if she won't want to go out with me dressed up as Bri anymore?

Inside the bathroom the lights were fluorescent and unkind. The mirror reflected us both. I couldn't help but glance at myself to make sure all the work I put in my makeup still looked good for Tom. But then I saw Lacey's face through the mirror and she looked flushed and fierce.

She turned toward me, arms crossed, her jaw tight.

"You've been ignoring me all night," she said, not yelling, but not far from it. "It's like I don't even exist when you're Bri."

Her words hit like a slap. "I didn't mean to ignore you, Lacey. I thought you were

enjoying yourself too. You always seemed supportive."

"Supportive? I've been more than supportive, Aiden--Bri, whatever. I've helped you pick out clothes, do your makeup, and even gone to these bars with you. But... I feel like an accessory, not a partner. I'm watching The Bri Show. When we would go out with you dressed up like this it felt like we were a team. We were this duo that would go out together and have fun and be best friends. But now you're out there flirting with guys, denying it's happening, not talking to me all night and you didn't even look for me for over an hour. I'm giving you all this support and I feel like you're not reciprocating."

I stood perfectly still as she gave me a proper and well deserved dressing down.

I tried to salvage myself by putting a little bit of confusion in my voice, "I didn't realize you felt that way. I thought we were both having fun."

Lacey shook her head, her voice rose, "You don't get it! It's all about you, your hobby, your need for validation. I've been standing there, watching you get all this attention, while I just... fade into the background."

She was right. I did let her fade into the background. I was so caught up in all the attention I was getting from Tom that I neglected my wife's experience the entire night. I struggled to find the right words and ended up saying the stupidest thing I could have by repeating myself, "But you've always been so supportive. I thought you liked this."

"Like this?" Lacey scoffed, her voice wavering slightly, but her eyes didn't. "Yeah, I like this, but I don't have a man. I don't have a guy with me. I don't have any of that. It's just like girls' night out all the time, but I'm not the single girl; it feels like you're the single girl. I just get to watch you try and get attention from all these guys."

I had no rebuttal. She was right in all of those ways, and there is nothing for me to do but to acknowledge that she was right. I stood there silently for a moment, in shock. I was about to tell her I was sorry before she quickly turned and walked out of the bathroom without saying another word.

I stood there alone under the cold, clinical lighting, staring at myself in the mirror. My lipstick was still perfect over my filled lips, my wig was sitting just right, and my eyeshadow was still on point.

But none of it made me feel better.

I looked beautiful. I looked powerful. I looked like someone I wanted to be. But it didn't feel right without Lacey's approval.

I wiped under my eye, careful not to smudge the shadow, and exhaled slowly. I had to find her. I had to fix this. I just didn't know how.

I stepped back into the chaos of the club. The bass had quieted. The lights were coming up.

The DJ's voice crackled over the speakers: "Last call--club's closing! Time to wrap it up!"

I scanned the room, searching every corner, but Lacey was nowhere to be seen.