Jake's Anxiety and Ryan's Backstory

Author's note.

Story 6 in Jake and Ryan's relationship. This one develops their plot further, including Ryan's backstory, before the eroticism starts. Somewhat of a slow burn. The heat comes about half way through, if you are in a hurry, fast forward to that.

You do not need to read the previous stories, but it would be better if you do.

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Jake stared out the window, as the coach churned through the miles after mile of motorway. Watching the fields blur past, he wasn't really seeing them. His mind was stuck in the past--back in the changing room, back in the shower, back in that moment.

Ryan, sprawled comfortably beside him, nudged his knee. "You're thinking about it again."

Jake tensed. "No, I'm not."

Ryan scoffed. "I would stake good money on the fact that you are."

Jake clenched his jaw. He didn't want to have this conversation here, not on a crowded coach with strangers sitting just rows away. But he also knew Ryan wouldn't let it drop.

He exhaled sharply. "Someone was watching us Ryan. You don't think that's a big deal?"

Ryan rolled his eyes. "We don't even know if they saw anything."

Jake turned to him, incredulous. "Are you serious? We heard them fleeing. They didn't say anything. That means they were hiding, watching."

Ryan sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Alright, fine. It's not ideal, but what do you want can wd do? Track them down and interrogate them?"

Jake shook his head. "I just... I don't know. What if they tell people?" His stomach tightened. "I'm not ready for that."

Ryan studied him for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then, in a softer voice, he said, "No one's forcing you out of the closet, Jake. No one's making you do anything you don't want to."

Jake swallowed. "But what if they do?"

Ryan leaned back, tapping his fingers against the armrest. "Then they will answer to me"

Jake frowned. "What do you mean?"

Ryan smirked slightly. "We find out who it was. We wait. See if they say anything. If they don't, great. If they do... I deal with it."

Jake's stomach knotted more at the way Ryan said 'deal with it'. He had no doubt Ryan could be ruthless if he wanted to be. And that was part of what scared him.

"We're not jumping to conclusions," Jake warned. "No threats. No making things worse."

Ryan raised his hands. "Relax. I won't break any laws."

Jake gave him a look. "I mean it!"

Ryan smirked. "You're cute when you try to be assertive. Look, I organised this trip to Wembley to take your mind off those things. Get away, have fun, relax, spend some time together. Away from the pressure of the university, away where nobody knows who you are, nor cares, somewhere you can be yourself, and just enjoy the moment."

Jake groaned, turning back to the window. Ryan might be joking about dealing with the voyeur, but the fear inside wasn't going away. Someone had seen them, that person had the power to turn Jake's entire world upside down.

The only thing he could do now was wait. And that was driving his anxiety levels into the red, testing his resilience.

Ryan's answer had been to book this trip, to distract Jake. It was a really sweet thing to do. He knew Jake was struggling. He also knew Jake had always wanted to watch England play live, and had never been to Wembley. He had that way about him, he could be considerate, but always took control, making the decisions. Jake admired that, but there was an a side to Ryan that unsettled him. There was dominant trait in Ryan, assuming authority came naturally. The way he spoke with a certainty that Jake had never quite felt about anything. It was attractive, intoxicating even, but at times, it had gone too far. At times Ryan scared him.

Ryan stretched his legs out, his knee pressing against Jake's. He smirked. "Are you nervous about tonight?"

Jake scoffed, shaking his head. "Why would I be nervous? It's just a football match."

Ryan tilted his head slightly, studying him. "That's not what I meant."

Jake swallowed and turned toward the window, watching the motorway blur past. He knew exactly what Ryan meant. The overnight stay. The fact that, at some point, there would be a hotel room with just the two of them. This trip was happening when their affair was at a crossroads, a moment where Jake had to decide what this thing between them really was.

The dilemma with the voyeur had made him think through the possibilities. It was entirely possible that everything would come out in the open. He could try to deny everything, but he knew mud would stick. It would never go away if it was exposed. An alternative could be to embrace it, to 'come out' to the rest of the team. He was young, lots of students experimented with their sexuality. Was this thing with Ryan worth all that? What did he want from Ryan anyway?

He wasn't naïve. He knew what Ryan wanted from him. More than just sex, Ryan had hinted there could be a relationship. He knew what he wanted himself too, in the immediate future. The nights they'd spent together, letting go, pushing boundaries, he hadn't hated it. He'd loved most of it. The way Ryan took control, the way he made him feel things he never thought he would. Without Ryan guiding him, he would never have had the courage himself. But there were other moments, brief but sharp, where Ryan's dominance felt less like desire and more like something else. Something colder. Something Jake wasn't sure he liked.

Ryan leaned in closer, his voice a whisper in Jake's ear. "You're overthinking again."

Jake forced a chuckle. "You always think I'm overthinking."

"Because if you are breathing, you are." Ryan's hand slid down Jake's thigh, a slow, deliberate movement. "Just let yourself enjoy it."

Jake tensed, glancing around the coach. No one was paying attention, but still, a flicker of panic rose in his chest. He wasn't ready for that. Not here. Not in public.

"Ryan......."

Ryan pulled back, smirking. "Relax. You really need to stop worrying so much."

Jake exhaled, forcing himself to smile. He wanted to relax. He wanted to just go along with it, to let Ryan lead him wherever this was going. But he couldn't shake the feeling that if he didn't speak up soon, he might end up somewhere he didn't want to be. He didn't want Ryan's cold cruel side to normalised, to become part of their thing.

The journey stretched on. The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting long shadows inside the coach. Jake was getting more comfortable. He let Ryan lean against him, their shoulders touching. They flirted, joked, the tension easing into something lighter. Ryan had a way of making him laugh, of making him forget, at least for a little while, free from the questions circling in his mind.

At one point, Ryan turned to him, a mischievous glint in his eye. "So, you looking forward to tonight?"

Jake raised an eyebrow. "Do you mean the match this time?"

Ryan chuckled. "That too." He reached out, tracing a slow circle on Jake's wrist. "But you know what I mean."

Jake felt the heat rise to his face. He did know what Ryan meant. And he wasn't sure how to answer.

Ryan sighed dramatically. "God, you're impossible sometimes."

Jake rolled his eyes. "I just--" He hesitated. This was the moment. He could say something. Bring it up. But the words stuck in his throat.

Ryan watched him expectantly. "You just what?"

Jake exhaled. "I just... don't want to rush things."

Ryan's expression shifted, something unreadable flickering in his eyes before he masked it with a smirk. "Oh, is that what this is?"

Jake frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ryan leaned back, folding his arms. "You're always hesitating. One foot in, one foot out. I understand you are confused, in the closet, breaking new ground. But for the next few days, you are free. It's like you want me to make all the decisions for you. Do you need me to keep leading you astray so you can pretend to yourself that you are still entirely straight"

Jake bristled. "No, that's not it."

Ryan arched an eyebrow. "Isn't it?"

Jake looked away, frowning. Maybe Ryan had a point. Maybe he was hesitating. But was that such a bad thing?

Ryan sighed, shaking his head. "Look, I like you, Jake. But I need to know if this is actually going somewhere or if you're just... experimenting."

Jake flinched at the word. Experimenting. It implied that this was all just some phase, a curiosity he'd eventually grow out of. And maybe that was true.

"I don't know," he admitted quietly.

Ryan's expression softened for a moment. Then he smirked again, nudging Jake's knee with his own. "Well, figure it out soon. I don't like waiting."

Jake let out a breathless laugh, shaking his head. "You really are something else."

Ryan grinned. "You love it."

Jake wasn't sure if that was true. Or maybe he was, and that was the scariest part of all.

By the time they neared London, the city lights glittered in the distance, a sharp contrast to the dull towns and villages they had been passing for hours. Jake felt the buzz of excitement. This evening was big. Something he had always wanted to do, and that was just referring to the game.

Ryan nudged him. "Almost there. You ready?"

As the coach pulled into the station, the reality of the night ahead settled in his chest like a weight. This was it. Big sports events create a buzz. There was a charge in the air and Jake and Ryan felt it. White and red England flags waved everywhere. Fans already crowding the bars, noisily soaking up the atmosphere, and the alcohol.

For Jake he couldn't distinguish between the excitement and the anxiety, both knotted his stomach. Excitement for the match, the hotel, the sex.

Anxiety about his secret being publicised to his team mates, not to mention the conversations he knew he needed to have with Ryan.

Ryan stretched, standing up and grabbing his bag. He turned to Jake, smirking. "Come on, then. Let's get to White City, drop off our bags, then see what London has in store for us."

The crush of bodies on the Central Line left Jake and Ryan pressed together, face to face, their breaths mingling in the thick, stale air of the packed carriage. There was nowhere to move, no space to create distance. The scent of Ryan's cologne, faintly spiced and familiar, was overwhelming at this proximity. Jake swallowed hard, acutely aware of every point where their bodies touched--chest against chest, thighs brushing with each jolt of the train.

Victoria Coach Station had felt insanely busy, as they pushed through its chaotic crowds. The Underground was worse, a sea of impatient commuters, and now they were trapped in it, squeezed so tightly together that Jake could feel the heat radiating from Ryan's skin beneath his jacket.

The train lurched suddenly, stopping again. Surely there was no more space on board.

A rush of movement behind him, another wave of passengers shuffling for space, pressed Jake even harder against Ryan, their hips flush. A flicker of sensation, a light touch at the small of his back, and then lower. He stiffened. Somebody had just felt his ass, a delicate light squeeze, but there was no mistaking the fact that it was deliberate. He couldn't turn to see the culprit.

His eyes darted to Ryan's, but Ryan's expression remained unreadable, except for the slight tightening of his grip where his hand had found Jake's waist. Protective. Possessive.

Jake tensed his glutes, waiting for a repeat. What kind of person goes around the underground touching people up. Far from feeling violated, his senses were at an acute state of arousal. His cock sparked into life, and being crushed up so close together, Ryan felt Jakes arousal pressing into him. He squeezed Jakes waist and flashed him a smile. He didn't know that someone had touched-up his partner, but he guessed that being jostled together in public was turning Jake on. Interesting.

For Jake, his assailant didn't repeat his transgression, the follow-up groping never came, and his arousal faded. It hadn't escaped Jakes attention that he had visualised a male groper. Was that because his prejudice suspected that men were likely culprits of indiscriminate groping. Or was it because he wanted it to be a man. Had he wanted the strangers on the tube to see him closely embraced with his male lover. Had that emboldened a man to come and have a feel. Test the goods. He knew gay couples were often more hedonistic than their straight counterparts. Maybe the grope was a message, an invitation, testing the water. Were Jake and Ryan supposed to respond in code, indicating that they were open to sharing, or otherwise?

His thought darted back to his fantasies. From an early age, he had thought about being used by a group of men, forced into doing things a straight boy should never do. If he was forced he would be powerless to resist, despite being straight. Those thoughts accelerated his journey to climax on many occasions. In fact, if he was in a hurry, that was his 'go to' fantasy. He was firm again.

Ryan had seen something in Jake, some tell tale sign, his need to be dominated. He had unlocked Jake's hidden desires. How had he known about them? He had pushed beyond Jake's comfort zone, and Jake had loved it. Now on the underground, pushed up to Ryan's athletic form, Jake was dreaming about Ryan leading one of those assaults from his dark fantasies, forcing him to suck-off a line of strangers. Inviting other men to fuck his boy. Use him, open out his hole and cum wherever they wanted. He squeezed Ryan hard in a bear hug, hoping for something more. Ryan returned the squeeze, enjoying the arousal he could feel being rubbed up against his pelvis. He wanted to get Jake to the hotel and capitalise on this sudden awakening.

The tube swung over noisy points, throwing the passengers off balance, as they approached White City, Jake and Ryan's stop. They pushed through the tightly packed crowd to the doors, Jake secretly hoping for another grope, which never came.

It was a short walk to their hotel, but time enough for Jake to calm down. Ten minutes later they entered a dark, slightly damp smelling, tiny hotel room. Being London, hotels were expensive. On a student's budget, this was never going to be the Ritz Carlton. Ryan didn't think it would be physically possible to make the room smaller, and still get a double bed in. Wherever you go in London, you get fleeced. So it wasn't luxury, but it was convenient for the tube station, and most importantly, it was private.

Ryan jumped on the bed, hoping they could have a quick rumble before they needed to get back on the tube to Wembley. He had calculated they had 20 minutes to freshen up. By his calculation that would be 15 minutes of fucking, and 5 minutes to shower and change.

Jake had other ideas. It wasn't that he didn't feel horny, he did, but he had a lot of thoughts swirling around in his head, and central to a lot of them, was understanding what this fling with Ryan was about, and being clear about his boundaries. He didn't have a plan to lead him through what he knew would be a deep and meaningful conversation with Ryan, so he just stumbled into it.

Ryan was laid out prostate on the bed, busy unbuttoning his Levis. Jake sat next to him, keeping his feet on the ground, literally and figuratively. It was time to talk. His thoughts were deep, existential. The weight of them pressed against him, and finally, he let them out.

Not for the first time he opened with "I don't know what this is," his voice quieter than he intended.

Ryan turned his head slightly, eyes sharp even in the low light. "What do you mean? I've told you it doesn't have to be anything."

Jake exhaled, glancing down at his hands. "Us. I don't know if we're just messing around or if it's something more." He hesitated, then forced himself to look at Ryan. "I've been thinking about the shower, being watched, about being outed. One way out is to embrace it, commit to it. The more I thought about that the more i came to a conclusion. I think I want it to be more. Us to be more." The words settled in the space between them, but Ryan didn't move, didn't answer. His silence made something uneasy stir in Jake's chest.

"But I need to know where I stand with you. Because sometimes, Ryan, you....." He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "You can be intense, too intense, you go beyond being dominant. I get that part, I love it, but, sometimes it feels like you push just to see if I'll break. And I don't understand why.

"You scare me....... sometimes"

Ryan's jaw tightened, and he turned his gaze back to the ceiling. "That's not my intention," he muttered. But there was something cracking in his voice, like Jake had hit a raw nerve.

Jake studied him for a long moment before speaking again, softer now. "Talk to me. Tell me what is going on in your head, why does it happen?"

Another long pause, then Ryan exhaled slowly, pressing his palms against his face as if trying to hide his emotion.

"Something happened to me, when I was young, something that no boy should have to go through." he said finally, voice barely above a whisper. "A coach. Football." The words alone carried weight, and Jake didn't need him to elaborate, stories were rife about abuse in the past, like predators were drawn specifically to football. But Ryan did elaborate.

"He had a way of making me feel like I owed him. Like he was doing me a favour, even when he was taking something from me. He told me it was my fault, I was responsible for what happened. I would get into trouble." Ryan sniffed away a tear, "I knew I liked boys, I was confused, I thought he was right, I had led him on somehow. But he was a monster, he hurt me."

Jake swallowed, his chest tight. He didn't speak. He just let Ryan talk.

"I learned fast that if you're not the one in control, you're the one being used. If you let someone else lead, they will walk all over you. So I don't let that happen anymore." Ryan's voice was steadier, but there was something raw beneath it, something still fragile. His fingers curled slightly against the bedsheet, and his next words came slower, more carefully.

"And sometimes, I think... maybe there's something in me that is just as cruel. Because I knew cruelty. It's like a part of me learned to enjoy it. Not in the same way he did, but because, for once, I wasn't the one on the receiving end." His breath faultered slightly, and he turned his face away. "I hate that part of me. But sometimes I don't even see it happening until it's too late."

Jake reached out, his fingers brushing Ryan's arm, feeling the tension in his muscles, he was holding himself like he was on guard.

"You do see it," Jake said quietly. "You see it now."

Ryan swallowed hard. "That doesn't mean I can stop it."

Jake squeezed his arm, lovingly. "You can. If you want to. We can, together."

Ryan finally turned to look at him, his expression conflicted, his walls still half up. But something in his gaze was softer now, less certain.

"I don't want to lose you, Jake."

Jake held his gaze, steady and unwavering. "Then don't."

It was time to get to the game, so they headed off to Wembley, both feeling like a great weight had been lifted off their shoulders. For Jake, he had basically agreed to be in a relationship with another man. He wasn't coming out, but he also no longer intended to keep it a closely guarded secret. The worry about who their voyeur was, and whether they would be gossiping seemed to have completely disappeared. If it came out, so what.

For Ryan, he had just shared something with Jake that he had never told another living sole. It was definitely good to share his burden, and he realised that he trusted Jake. Even more than that, he felt something for Jake that went beyond sex. He'd had plenty of sexual partners, but Jake was different. Was it love?

The game was a great distraction, and the result was good for their beloved England. Being at Wembley was everything Jake had hoped it would be and more. To be part of the crowd, to feel the energy of eighty thousand fans in the same space. Singing, shouting, the highs and lows. As they meandered back down Wembley Way, they were both on an emotional high.

It was a crowded tube ride back toward London Town, but the football fan vibe on the train was very different to their previous journey. In this environment Jake and Ryan showed no connection between them. Homophobia in football, especially amongst groups of fans, was rife. Football fans are hostile towards gay men, it would not be safe. Jake was smiling to himself, thinking about the very different feeling from when he was being touched up earlier. How that was not even avfeint possibility now.

"You look happy, it was a great result, and the atmosphere was electric." Ryan remarked, wandering if Josh was happy with their new understanding, or still on a high from the game.

"It was amazing. Thank you for bringing me with you, I've had the best day." Then Jake learned in to whisper in Ryan's ear, "If we were not here, I'd kiss you. You made me very happy today." Then learning back onto his seat, "But I was actually smiling about something else, not exactly related to the game."

"Are you going to share?" Ryan was expecting Jake to refer back to their discussion clearing the air.

"On the tube from Victoria, when we were packed in like sardines, someone grabbed my ass. I thought it was an accident at first, until they gave it a squeeze. I was jammed up so close to you that I couldn't twist and see who did it."

Ryan twigged immediately "You got excited, I felt it against my leg. Did you get a frill from being touched up by a stranger?"

"I absolutely did, I even had a little fantasy about who it might be, and what they were trying to start."

A devious smile appeared on Ryan's face, "Male or female?" he asked

In a hushed tone, so he couldn't be overheard Jake confessed "It was impossible to know, but I got aroused when I thought about it being a man, seeing us comfortably squashed up close, probably knew we were together, and thought they would like to join us. It could have been an invitation. Or maybe someone just liked a piece of juicy ass, and couldn't resist? I guess we will never know."

Ryan's smile broadened, "So you liked the idea of being felt up by a stranger?"

Jake's cheeks reddened, again he whispered "Maybe.....".

"I have an idea, do you trust me?" Ryan didn't wait for an answer, but he did lower his voice, "There is a side to being gay that you probably have never seen, except in porn. If you trust me I'd like to show you, and if you are not comfortable at any point, I promise, we will stop and head back to our hotel. Game?"

There was a small concern for Jake, from their earlier deeply emotional conversation, he wanted to let Ryan know that he still needed him to be dominant and push his boundaries. He just needed to find a way to let Ryan know when he was going too far, and have confidence that he would stop. He chose his words carefully

"I trust you, I'm definitely up for it, and I'll be clear if I'm not comfortable with anything." Jake felt a frill of excitement as he said it. "Don't let our earlier discussion stop you from fucking me senseless, I want you to keep pushing my limits, I've never been as happy as you have made me in the last few weeks. Now lets change the subject before we get beaten up. Where are you taking me?"

"We're going to Waterloo Bridge, we stay on the Jubilee line to Waterloo Station, I know a place there" said Ryan

They sat in silence for the remainder of the journey. Jake was fidgety all the way, tapping his feet, unable to stop gurning. He looked at the faces around him. Nearly all male, football fans, noisily shouting over each other in groups, or the lone travellers, actively avoiding eye contact. He was excited for the rest of the night, he just wanted to get there now.

In central London every station was crowded with a high proportion of inebriated fans, mixing in with the usual tourists and locals that pass through London's underground on a Saturday night. It was noisy and cold with a distinctly unpleasant aroma. That smell persisted as the boys walked past the cardboard box village of the homeless under Waterloo Bridge. The occupants sheltered from the weather, but they were neither warm nor protected from the acrid pollution which hung around under the partial shelter.

Jake and Ryan passed by, trying not to look at the beggars, and ignoring their pleas for 'spare change'. It would normally affect Jake to see such chronic poverty in such a wealthy city, but this evening his mind was focussed on his own selfish plight.

Ryan led him behind the covered area to a side street, and an unassuming archway to a building under the railway lines. On the door was a small discreet sign 'Welcome to the Pleasuredome, Male Only Sauna'. This building was so discreet that thousands of commuters passed it everyday, with no clue about what went on inside.

Once through the door the mood changed. The noisy, smelly inner city buzz was replaced by a serene, warm oasis, with a hint of tea tree oil in the air, and the faint sound of Thai chime music to help the customers relax. Ryan dealt with the reception and paying the entry fee, and whisked Jake off to a changing area behind the entrance hall.

Ryan explained the rules "OK, it doesn't take a genius to work out what this place is. If you want, you can walk around naked anywhere except in the bar area. If you want to be more discreet wear your towel, nothing else. In the steam room and Jacuzzis you take your towel off and hang it up, make sure you know which is yours, otherwise it is pretty gross wrapping yourself in someone else damp rag. In the sauna you can keep it on or take it off, up to you.

"In the public areas you are expected to be discreet, there are private areas and dark rooms to be indiscreet. Everybody breaks those rules, as you will see. Stick with me for a while, you will soon pick up the vibe. If you want to go off alone after a while, that's fine. Lets just see what happens. We need to shower before we enter, ready?"

Jake wasn't sure if he wanted to run in, or run out, but he responded "I think so."

Everything was down stairs in the basement, the lighting progressively dimmer as they descended the steps, adding to the feel that this was a private, naughty space. In case anyone had got this far without realizing exactly what this place was, there were pictures of naked me all the way down the steps. It reminded Jake of the advertising boards on the walls beside the escalators in the tube stations. They advertised plays, galleries and wellness pills here the product was sex. Male sex.

Ryan led Jake to a hot tub, they left their towels behind, and jumped in naked. The heat hit Jake immediately, he wasn't aware that he had become so cold at the stadium. The kind of chill that penetrated deep into his bones. The 40 minute tube ride had not warmed hi, at all. His fingers and toes ached at first, until the warmth overcame the chill, and he relaxed next to his boyfriend in the bubbles.

'Boyfriend, is that what Ryan was now?', it was a strange thought. Strange but exciting.

Ryan spoke first, "This is a good place to just watch, there is no hurry, get a feel for the place, then we can decide where to go next"

Jake didn't respond, he put his head back on the rest and closed hid eyes. In this pose he was comfortable. As men entered the tub he discreetly watched them disrobe, careful not to get caught looking. He wanted to assess each one, running through a criteria, good looking? Fit body? Cock? Most of all he found himself drawn to covert cock watching. He absolutely didn't want anyone to see him doing that, but he definitely wanted to score each one. One point per inch, anything below 7" (subjective estimate at size when erect) was a fail.

As time passed his nerves diminished. Ryan was quiet, relaxing with his eyes closed. Nobody entered or left the tub for a while, so Jake closed his eyes to rest. Every slight noise or person passing, Jake opened an eye to observe. Then he continued his fake sleep. One advantage of closing his eyes was that he could ignore everyone around him. He was excited, but also nervous. He didn't want to strike up conversations with strangers, he didn't want to appear keen, he wanted to be cool and remote. His worst fear was someone coming on to him, he wasn't sure he knew how to turn people away politely, without offending. He worried that his very presence was an invitation for anyone to approach. This place was 80% old men. Yuck!

Slowly but surely he relaxed. Not sleeping but drifting, enjoying the bubbles, minding his own business.

In his dreamy state he felt a brief touch on his right lower calf. Immediately his senses pricked to high alert. Maybe it was the bubbles, he shifted his leg back to the middle, away from the contact. He had been man spreading, probably roaming into someone else's space. Not wanting to cause offence, or send the wrong signal, he backed off. 30 seconds later, the same casual contact. This time it lingered a little longer, it certainly was not the bubbles. Jake made a distinct movement away, surely that was a firm message, 'desist'. His knees were now angled to his left, to the opposite side of what he considered 'his space'. He was now touching Ryan, who didn't respond, he couldn't move any further.

The touch returned, this time more firmly, it was clearly a foot, and it could only have come from the man opposite. Jake opened an eye, there were only 3 of them in the tub. Ryan, Him and the 30 something gentleman that was the last to enter. He had his eyes firmly closed, with a blank expression on his face. Nobody would have any clue what he was doing under the surface. The bubbles made the water opaque.

Jake recalled his assessment of the man when he stood by the towel rail, naked and peacocking. 'Looks 5 (slightly pointy nose), Body 5 (a bit of middle age spread, no definition), cock 4 (not embarrassing, but nothing special), summary, not interesting.'

As he was thinking about how to respond, the foot crept up his inner calf. Jake's cock sprang up to attention. Shit! what was he meant to do?

The foot continued its journey up his leg, past his knee to his mid-thigh, where it stopped. It rubbed up and down. Jake was frozen.

He wanted this to stop, but how? As he hesitated the foot lifted from his thigh, Jake sighed with relief, but a second later it landed firmly on his hard, throbbing cock. Jake was staring at the man, running through his options, as the man opened his eyes are returned the glare. He smiled, squeezed Jakes cock with his toes and closed his eyes again, still smiling.

Jake turned to Ryan, and poked his shoulder. Ryan slowly returned from his daze and smiled at Jake, "What's up?"

Jake whispered his distraught response, "That guy has been playing adult footsie with me, now his foot is in my crotch."

"Okay, don't panic, are you interested in him?"

Jake looked at Ryan with incredulity, what on earth would make him think he was?

"Hell no!"

"So its all cool, politely lift his foot away and say you're sorry but you are not interested, he shouldn't be offended, he's probably just trying his luck, sometimes it gets results!" Ryan explained.

"But I don't want to hurt his feelings, I've let it go too far."

Ryan frowned, Jake had a lot to learn. "Okay, this one is on me, after that you stand-up for yourself." With that Ryan reached into Jakes crotch and lifted the invading foot. The guy opened his eyes and sat bolt upright.

"Sorry mate, we just arrived and we want to use the facilities for a while, maybe later?" Ryan said, with fake sincerity. The guy immediately stood, average penis on full display and responded

"Hey no problem, you are a good looking couple. Have a great night, I'll see you around later, maybe." In embarrassment, but without losing face, the guy withdrew from the tub and retrieved his towel.

"Look you are going to say 'no' more often than 'yes' in this place, you're gonna have to get used to it, or get used to having sex with every old, shabby dullard that fancies a piece. The place is full of chancers.

"Shall we look around?" Ryan added without waiting for a response.

They dried off, now freshly warmed from the chill outside, and comfortable wrapped only in towels. They ventured deeper into the basement. Ryan leading the way as ever. The next side room was a cinema, in the shape of a lecture theatre, with stadium seating on benches rising from the large screen adjacent to the entrance. Except for the luminescence of the screen, there was very little ambient lighting, adding to the lurid atmosphere. On screen a video showed an effeminate twink surrounded by muscle clad bucks, all in a semi-circle, the twink sucking each one off in turn. They were all impressively endowed, and the twink could swallow each one with ease. Saliva drooled down his chest as he eagerly gobbled each one, with a cock in each hand too. His hair was matted with cum. Twink heaven.

The seats of the auditorium were sparsely populated, some avidly watching the screen, mostly fondling around in their own crotches. A few others were more interested in staging their own performance. This was clearly one of the spaces use for public sex. One middle aged man, with a well kept athletic figure, was bent over a bench at the back, whilst an old man fucked him from behind. The tight trim buttocks of the recipient a stark contrast to the pot bellied obese top. Jake guessed he was in his sixties, and had given up on his shape some years before. It was no beauty pageant, just raw sex. They had attracted an audience of three other men, all wanking. One of whom was Jake's 'friend' from the hot tub.

The air in the room was thick with a pungent mix of sweat and semen, most of the basement carried the same aroma, but in here, it was particularly heavy. Ryan looked around briefly, but was not interested in lingering there. The pair moved on.

Down one more flight of stairs, they entered the wet area. There were showers, two, saunas, and a steam room. Ryan pulled Jake towards the showers, hanging up his towel on an end peg between the showers and the Steam Room, he turned to Jake.

"Let's hang them on the end peg, one on top of the other, we don't want some dope walking off with ours, and leaving their soggy ones behind. Even wearing it back to reception to get it changed, is pretty gross. There are almost never any couples in these places, so having two towels on the same peg makes them much less likely to be picked up in error. We'll shower off then hit the Steam Room. Remember, if you see something you like, and you are feeling brave, just go for it. Otherwise, I have a vague plan, you can just follow me."

Jake was still nervous, completely out of his depth, more likely to cut and run, than to throw himself into the situation. He had been somewhat turned on in the Cinema room, but he had not seen anything that even remotely tempted him away from his comfort zone, behind Ryan. He didn't respond, just followed his partner.

Ryan had a perfunctory shower, just to follow the rules, then led Jake into the Steam Room. As Jake followed through the frosted glass door into the darkness, the hot humid air hit him like a wave. There was the faint smell of fresh detergent, and Jake guessed they treated the water to keep it clean. The steamy fog inside made it impossible to see more than a couple of meters, but Jake worked out that there were bench seats all around a tiled room. The hiss of steam being released from somewhere out of site, off in front of him. The space was long and narrow, and Ryan led him further inside, the light through the opaque door fading as they progressed. Ryan chose a space and Jake sat beside him.

Through the mist Jake could make out the large shape of a man on the seat opposite him. He could see the whites of the man's eyes but very little more than his silhouetted overweight shape. He was looking back at Jake and Ryan. The hissing of the steam pipe stopped without warning, and the noise of oral sex became apparent. Jake listened intently, and picked up the sloppy sucking noise, somewhere close by. The perpetrator's moans, and throaty gagging echoing off the hard walls. As the steam cleared slightly, the figure of a kneeling man, between the legs of the man opposite emerged. Their neighbour was being sucked off, by an equally overweight partner, whilst silently observing the two newcomers. He was doing well keeping a blank expression, no sign of arousal in his eyes, or emotion on his face.

Jake looked away trying not to stare, but he could not manage more than a few seconds before his eyes were drawn back to the fellatio. The head of the sucking man covering the crotch of his neighbour. The gagging sounds indicated that the cock must be sizable. His neighbour had at least one redeeming feature. Jake wanted to see it. He felt his pulse race and his own cock respond. Ryan reached into his lap and took a firm grip on his cock, slowly working it up and down. Jake gave up the pretence of being disinterested, instead he leaned back on the hot damp tiled wall, resting his eyes on his neighbour. They stared at one another without blinking, both being tantalised by their respective partners, but both looking blankly at one another.

The neighbour broke the stalemate with a wink and pursed lips intimating a kiss. Whilst Jake considered how to respond, the steam valve opened and the hissing sound drowned out the sounds. Jake wasn't sure how to respond. He had no intention of leading on his neighbour. Surely the man didn't think that either he or Ryan were interested? They were both perfectly sculpted specimens, in the prime of youth, well out of the league of their neighbour. Before he made any response, the cloud of steam descended, and the neighbour disappeared in the mist, not even his white eyes visible. Jake stood and made his way to the exit, clumsily tripping on the legs of the kneeling man, Ryan following behind. Both boys emerged, muscled bodies glistening with sweat, Jake fully hard, Ryan, with the more impressive shaft, slower to respond, but certainly semi erect. The pair attracted more than a few prying eyes as the went back to the shower.

Ryan was first to speak, "You seemed to enjoy the show,"

"He winked at me and blew a kiss," Jake replied, "What on earth made him think that either of us would be remotely interested?"

Ryan paused for a second, soaping himself on full display, and then responded, "Maybe he had a great cock, I couldn't see it, but it sounded like it was deep down his mate's throat."

"That doesn't make him attractive," Jake was animated, and more than a little arrogant with his response.

"Do you care? Beauty is only skin deep. Nobody is here for long term life partners," Ryan replied, chuckling to himself, "besides, they had you aroused, I thought you might get your first ejaculation in there."

Jake scoffed, "No way, not even close."

The two towelled off, Ryan making sure that anyone interested got a good look at his big cock. Jake noticed a few onlookers ogling his man. Inside he felt a mix of pride and anger. He also knew that Ryan was advertising himself, enjoying the attention, if men were looking, it was because Ryan wanted to be seen. His shape and good looks attracted attention wherever he went, as did Jakes, but naked, Ryan was an Adonis. The trouble is, he knew it.

Wrapping himself back in his towel, Ryan decided the time was right to take Jake up an intensity level.

"Ready for the next stage Jake? Let's see if you drop you standards in the face of temptation." With that he marched off away from the wet area, to a dimly lit space beyond. Jake in tow.

They walked along a dimly lit corridor, with rooms off both sides. There were a number of cabin style rooms, some vacant some occupied, these were clearly private rooms where people could disappear together, beyond prying eyes. Jake noticed some of the rooms had holes in the walls, so not all were entirely private. Further along the corridor there were smaller cinema areas, all darkened rooms with soft seating all around. One of the rooms had a swing seat hanging down from the ceiling. Jake only caught the briefest of glimpses through the narrow doorway as he passed. But there was someone strapped into the seat, one man fucking his ass, another his mouth, and a small gang looking on, or waiting their turn. Jake was tempted to watch, but Ryan kept walking on, so he followed.

Towards the end of the corridor there was a pink neon sign, above a curtain, 'Dark Room'. Ryan pulled the curtain aside and disappeared inside, Jake followed. He stepped cautiously into the pitch-black room beyond, the air thick with mystery. He could not even see his partner, who had been only two steps ahead. He stopped still, lifted his hand to his eyes to test for visibility. Nothing. The moment he crossed the threshold, darkness had swallowed him whole, severing all visual ties to the familiar world. His breath quickened as his other senses sharpened, ears straining for every noise, nose picking up the stale, familiar smell of men, past and present. Still air mingled with something faintly unclean. The floor beneath his feet felt smooth and stone cold. Progressing tentatively, every step forward sent a thrill through his veins, a mix of trepidation and exhilaration. Was something waiting for him in the void? Or was it simply the unknown itself, luring him deeper into its secrets?

His acute hearing was picking up movement, moans and the slopping sounds of sexual liaisons from all directions. Disorientated he instinctively sort out the boundary walls, he needed something solid to fall back on, something he could touch, something to help him navigate the room and make up for his blindness. Five tentative steps to his right, hands out in front of him, feeling for obstacles, he found the solid brick wall. He ran his hands vertically up and down, nothing but brick. Moving on slowly; baby steps, with his right hand guiding him around the perimeter, keeping the solid wall as his comfort blanket. There were too many sounds all around for him to use noise to help avoid what may be in front of him. His brain function concentrating hard for any clues, but there was only a confusion. He moved deeper inside.

Several steps around the wall, his hand touched something living, someone rested up against the side, he felt a shoulder, and froze. Within a second a soft warm hand had reached his crotch and was wrapped around his cock. To his surprise, he was rock hard. His mind raced at 100 miles per hour. What should he do? How should he get out of this predicament?

The hand started to stroke him, long slow strokes, squeezing his firmness. If felt good, very good. But Jakes nerves were at fever pitch. He was somewhat in shock, blind, in an unfamiliar place. Aesthetics were a vital part of attraction for him. He panicked and moved on into the room, still shuffling forward with tiny steps. Within seconds he felt human flesh again, but this time he backed off quickly, and gave the by-stander a wide birth. As he circled past and returned to the wall, he felt a hand on his ass from behind, followed by a quiet, but definite wolf whistle. He was flattered but moved on. He had no clue who he had just passed, but the compliment lifted his mood and calmed his nerves. He realised that he was desired, that these men wanted what he had to give. From his own firmness it was clear that he wanted it too. The randomness of not even seeing who was there, appealed to his desires. His fantasies about being promiscuous, and possibly used.

Moving on deeper into the darkness, he stumbled into something padded on his shin, just below his knee. He realised it was a bench, probably across the back wall. Reaching forward, he wanted to feel the back wall for confirmation. It was out of reach, so he crawled forward a couple of meters before he felt the cold brick. This was a deep bench, more like a long bed. Visions of what happens on the padded bench flicked through his mind, and his cock ached with the blood in full flow bursting to keep it turgid. He ached to give it some satisfaction and regretted not pausing longer on his way in, to indulge in the titivation. He backed off the bench and stood back up. Moving on anti-clockwise around the room. Unable to stay connected to the wall, he kept the padded seat edge on his calf as he shuffled on. Making a noise as he moved, he still need something solid to guide him, to keep him safe.

Without warning, as he shuffled on he felt a warmth and wetness engulf his cock. It was completely unexpected, but immediately exquisite. A tongue got to work on the underside of his cock, and around his cockhead. His hands moved to the back of the head that was giving him the immediate relief. It was bald, not a single hair, not even stubble. The neck muscles felt powerful beneath his fingers, he wrapped the base of the skull in his palms and pulled it deeper onto his shaft. The head of his cock slid over the roof of the mouth, and found some resistance. The head backed away, tonguing his cockhead again. Jake was unsure whether he should push himself back in, not confident enough to be forceful. Before he could overthink it, the mouth engulfed his penis, and with a swallow, took him past the resistance until he felt a nose against his pubis. He was fully home. Pushing firmly in he made sure he was as deep as he could get. The swallowing mouth and throat closed around him, as he clamped the bald head against him.

As he released the head slid back away, gasping for air as soon as it could. Jake felt saliva drool down his balls soaking his thighs and back to his rosebud. The vision and feeling of having Ryan down his own mouth filled his thoughts, and with a primal instinct, he thrust back into the mouth. Gagging noises came as he entered the throat again, but there was no pull back, his assailant just took him, coughing around his cock, rather than withdrawing. Jake took it as a sign that this man wanted his throat punished, wanted a cock to take him past his limits, show no mercy. He bucked in and out as hard and deep as he could, thrusting in with force. Whatever he did, the mouth and throat took it.

He felt a hand cup his balls, gently massaging them as he fucked away. The hand was from behind him, someone had joined them. He felt a familiar sensation from deep inside his loins, he was on the road to orgasm. Not wanting to finish so quickly Jake tried to think of anything else, not sexual. Just as he distracted his thoughts the hand cupping his balls squeezed him roughly. At first he yelped, and jerked to get away, but as the second squeeze came, Jake thrust backwards against the 3rd man. He slapped Jake's ass, the crack ripping through the air, advertising to all around that hot sex was in session. Unknown to Jake, a host of horny bystanders followed the source of the sound, intent on joining. The second slap was less intense, but it hit its target like a bulls-eye. Jake felt contact on his balls, then came the low slapping noise, then came the pain in his balls. A pain deep inside his loins that defies described, but every man knows. He yelped. Which resulted in another squeeze.

Instinctively he wanted to protect himself, pull away from the assault on his most precious jewels, but also deep inside a yearning was begging for more. He parted his thighs, allowing access, and the squeeze diminished to a stroke. Another hand found the entrance to his ass. Freshly coated in saliva, a thick digit, probably a thumb, pushed past his resistance inside him. Another hand cupped his balls confirmed there were at least 3 men on him now.

The thumb pulled fully out and he felt a cold wetness rubbed into his ass, then it returned, passing much more easily into him, quickly followed by more digits. Two then three. The fingering was neither gentle nor precise. Either it was administered by someone who had very little expertise, or it was intended to hurt. Despite the lube, it hurt.

Ordinarily a clumsy lover would be a distinct turn-off. But Jake, in his heightened aroused state, needed to be abused. The ball torture was driving him close to orgasm, his back was curved down to present his ass, he wanted it used.

The cocksucker had stopped. Jake had let go of his head at some point, and, whilst distracted, the mouth had withdrawn. His cocksucker still held his penis, and was pulling him forward towards the bench. He realised as his knees pressed up against the padding, that the cocksucker had turned around and was now guiding Jake's cock towards his ass. Feeling in front of him, he found a pair of well rounded, firm hips, like an oversize apple. The girth was narrow. Jake got the impression that he was short, possibly only 5ft 5" or so. He felt good in Jakes hands, like Jake could throw him around. He was completely depilated and the smooth skin was damp from sweating. He could feel that these buttocks belonged to someone who worked out. Kept their body in shape. In all of his fantasies and gay encounters to date, Jake had always been the bottom and submissive. In his fantasies he was always led astray by a more experienced man. To some extent he was still being led. He had not thought about being a top, his mind had never drifted in that direction, so he assumed he was a natural bottom, whatever that is. He was far too aroused to back out, so he decided to go with the flow.

His cock pushed up against the puckered ass hole, even blind Jake could sense it would yield, with little resistance he slipped inside. The recipient obviously well used to penetration and well prepared. From being fucked by Ryan, he knew his own ass was not like this one. Inside was warm and wet, not unlike a pussy. An almost familiar loose glove around his cock.

The hands abusing his balls and ass were squeezed out, moving their attention to his nipples. At first they were lightly squeezed. Jake responded to the thrill, his erogenous nipples yearning for more contact. He pushed his chest out, flexing his pecs.

As the contact became more aggressive, his nipples were pinched and twisted. They responded by firming up, like tiny unripe berries. The endorphins from the pain flushed through his veins, driving a yearning deep down in his balls. Again the dilemma, he wanted to jerk away from his tormentor, but also craved the adrenalin and cortisol that drove his raw desires.

The cocksucker backed into him, grinding out on his pubes. Jake gripped firmly and fucked him as hard as he could. Thrusting in hard, and withdrawing so only the mushroom shape his cockhead remained inside with each stroke. Cocksucker took everything Jake could give, thrusting back against each lunge, with barely a murmur.

One of the backwards strokes went too far, his cock sprang out completely with a slurping pop; sex juices oozed out and down the recipients ass crack, stringing down to the padded seat, in a gelatinous gloop. Jake's forward thrust came before he could think about aligning, but his shaft rammed home, easily guided within the lubricated yielding walls of the cocksucker's loose rectum. Cocksucker groaned his appreciation.

Jake repeated the action, this time deliberately withdrawing all the way out. Reaching between the legs of his hook-up, he felt the dripping asshole, still gaping, he rubbed the sticky wet mess forward, over his balls and cock. The cock was leaking, it was small but as rigid and firm as a bone. He started wanking it as he thrust back into the welcoming hole. Another grunt, this time louder.

Jake sensed his partner approaching climax. He thrust harder, and wanked him furiously. Deep down he was proud and elated that his actions were bringing this stranger to orgasm. He felt his own erotic rush.

Cocksucker erupted, spraying semen onto the padded bench. First his cock and balls twitched, then Jake could feel the flow within release. His partners roar dominated the dark space. After the initial high energy eruptions, the subsequent flow of semen coated his fingers. It felt like a triumph.

Jake couldn't hold on any longer. He thrust in as deeply as he could, held his position and emptied his balls into his partner. Jetting as deeply as he could, he completely emptied before withdrawing, playfully smacking the firm ass, in a way that was meant to signify gratitude, but only marked their separation. A beautiful moment had passed, and they would never cross paths again. Even if the did, how would they ever know?

Jake moved away from the cum soaked seat immediately in front of him, found a dry, uninhabited space, and crawled onto the bench to curl up and rest. He wanted space. Space to absorb what just happened. Space to think.

A few men stumbled by, feeling their way, Jake politely pushed their roaming hands away. After some time he made his way back out of the Dark Room and rested in the hot tub until Ryan reappeared. It was close to midnight, so they showered and headed back to their hotel. Jake was quiet all the way, lost in his own thoughts. Ryan was keen to find out what Jake had been up to, and even keener to find out what Jake had learned about himself, but for now, he accurately detected that Jake had to work it all out himself, before he would be ready to talk.