Linda's Sexual Autobiography Pt. 01

This is a reworking of the first stories I wrote about Linda. It covers the last half of her senior year in high school, the beginning of her exploration of her sexuality to the loss of her virginity. Some new parts have been added, but it has all been re-written and hopefully improved. I will continue revising and extending what I have already written now that I have a more clear idea of how the story will develop. Chapter two will follow her story into her first two years or so in college. The plan is to follow her life for ten more years or so. If you read my first stories about Linda, I hope you are interested in reading the revised version, and if you have not read them, I hope this will capture your imagination. The first scene contains an episode of an intended rape that does not happen but may be triggering for some.

Chapter 1

One

I went to the bar alone. I was showing off my new adulthood, having just turned 18. I had never consumed any alcohol before and I had never been into a bar either. I knew there were predators in the world, theoretically, but I had led a sheltered life and I lived in a small mid-western town that was safe. Besides, I was foolishly confident in my ability to take care of myself. So I went into the bar a virgin in more ways than one, trusting to my wisdom and invulnerability. I also trusted God to protect me, but suppressed all thoughts of how I was straying from the straight and narrow and into the way of fools. I wanted a little adventure; just not too much. In other words, I was dumb and reckless. As it turns out, I was lucky.

It could have turned out so much worse. My parents didn't know, of course. They are very conservative, very strict, and in their own way they are naive too. But I was a good daughter, an only child, obedient, respectful, and actually I was happy. That was why only four days after my birthday, my parents went to visit a cousin and planned to stay overnight. They trusted me, and so far I had given them no reason not to. Usually when they went away they would leave me with one of my girl-friends, who was also from our church. They didn't know my girl-friend sometimes sneaked in some porn for us to watch late at night, but pornography was all I knew about sex. The pornography, I now realize, was very poor quality, but we were nearly hypnotized by it. I loved it, and I had long since learned to masturbate while I fantasized about my future marriage.

I planned out my little bar adventure as I walked over (no car; my parents weren't rich enough to buy a second car for me). It was just after New Year's but the weather was surprisingly mild. I decided I would sit in a booth alone, rather than at the bar. Maybe that was my second mistake. I figured sitting alone in a bar would just invites men over, and I thought being in a booth might look like I was waiting for someone. If some guy did come over and if I didn't like their looks I thought I would just tell them my boyfriend was coming soon, nicknamed Shredder or something. That was probably naive too. But I had not imagined the possibility of an attractive guy coming over.

There are attractive guys in my high school, but all of them are either attached or dumb. I have never been tempted to pursue any of them, and my parents didn't approve of dating anyway. I had only been asked out on a date once by a guy I would never be attracted to. He was socially on the fringe, like me, but I don't think he had any redeeming qualities, like say being literate. I am not unattractive, though my breasts are on the smallish size. I am a 32A if you want to visualize me. My nipples are a light brown and are in the middle of my breasts I guess a lot of guys want the large breasts but isn't it too much of a good thing? There are guys out there, I'm sure, who will find my breasts attractive. So, it was just a lot easier to ignore men -- except in the movies.

I had probably been in the booth only fifteen minutes or so - I hadn't even stayed up to my curfew yet - when this incredibly attractive man came over, probably ten years older than me, what you might call a hunk. He looked athletic and self-confident and had the kindest green eyes. He introduced himself as Gary. Gary was the cowboy type with a flannel shirt and blue jeans and a big cowboy looking hat. I had not noticed him when I first went in to the bar but he said he noticed me as soon as I arrived. He waited for the fifteen minutes to see if another man joined me before he came over to try to pick me up. So instead of telling him my boyfriend would come momentarily, we started talking and offered to buy me a drink. You must understand that I was really inexperienced at drinking. Even my girl-friend who could smuggle in porn occasionally could not smuggle in beer. So when he asked if he could buy me a drink I said yes. Third mistake? Or is it my fourth mistake? I lose count. But when he asked what I wanted to drink I had no idea, so I just said I would have whatever he was having, bourbon as it turned out. I should have known better, you'll tell me, and part of me did know better, but there you are. I liked the looks of this guy and I was stupid. He didn't look dangerous. He got me a double.

We were just chatting while we drank the bourbon, him asking about my background and circumstances and filling me in on his adventures and mighty feats on his farm -- mostly beef cattle and some horses. I decided to lie about my background, at least a little. I told him my name was Linda, but at least no last name, and that I was 23 years old. Within five minutes I was getting pretty dizzy. Having never had any alcohol before -- I admit I was drinking it in spite of the taste, which I didn't like -- I didn't know what to expect. In the movies it always takes several drinks to get drunk. This was going faster than I expected. When I finished the drink he offered another one. I don't think I was slurring my words or anything, just feeling a little dizzy. He went over to the bar to get us another drink and it was very shortly after he got back that I passed out. I didn't even take a sip of the second drink. Apparently I just let my head rest on the table and fell asleep. Obviously I should not drink much. The last thing I remember of the bar was talking to an absolutely charming attractive man.

The next thing I knew I was waking up in a bed in a hotel room somewhere, and I was naked. Being naked jolted me awake really quickly. The next thing I noticed was that I was alone. The second thing that popped into my mind was, "Oh, no, Gary raped me!" But as I took stock of my body, I was sure I had not been raped. Yet. Wherever Gary was now, leaving in a bed naked implied that he had some dark intentions. I got out of the bed and started looking around for my clothes, still a little woozy.. The next thing I thought was "Oh no, I've been roofied." I walked over to the dresser with the mirror and searched all the drawers, but they were empty. Nor were my clothes anywhere I could see. So, was I going to have to walk home naked in the cold? I did find a Gideon Bible, of course, but except for smashing Gary in the face, it was too late to look up comforting verses. And the next thing I thought of was "what time is it?". The clock said it was about three, so I had been unconscious for four or five hours. I didn't feel too bad, though, not like I would have expected.

So apparently "Gary", or whoever he was, had drugged me, carried me to a hotel room, stripped off my clothes, and.... left? He got me naked and then didn't like what he saw? I am not so insecure with my body that I believed that for a second. Most guys don't discriminate when it comes to the question: do I want to have sex with this woman or not? They just go with "yes".

It felt really weird standing in a strange hotel room completely naked. But as I stood there, what I mostly felt was anger. You'd think I would be afraid. What would good old Gary do when he came back? But mostly I was angry. I wasn't going to be raped without a fight, so I began looking around for something I could use to hit him with. The lamp was the only thing in the room that was easily movable. There were two lamps so I took the shade off of one of them and unplugged it. Hefty enough to do some damage if I managed to hit him before he wrestled it away. But it really makes you feel vulnerable to be planning a fight while you are naked. I'm fairly athletic (track) but it would seem like a more equitable fight if I had some clothes on.

So I was really really mad and scared, but mostly mad. Wherever Gary was, he was no doubt intending to come back eventually and do... whatever. The longer I looked for my clothes, the madder I got, and the less afraid I got. That was my self-confidence kicking in. I should have been thinking, "What if he comes back and beats me up and rapes me?" instead of "How dare he take my clothes?" And then, standing there naked in the middle of the room looking around helplessly ... a guy came in and shut the door behind him.

Not the guy, Gary or whoever, that I had been drinking with. Someone I had never seen before. Someone else who, in the state I was in, looked sinister as hell. What was this? A bunch of guys who were going to take turns raping me? Oh, no, I thought, here comes the rape part. Gary and this friend of his and maybe some others lined up in the hall to take turns -- the idea was beginning to make me much more frightened. I had no idea what to expect now. I didn't notice the rather sheepish look on his face in my panic. I was determined that I would fight him, scream and kick and anything I could think of. Surely we weren't that isolated and someone would hear. It looked like a motel room. Now that I was fully alert I wasn't helpless. I can scream really loud if I try.

When he came in, he closed the door behind him and then just looked at me in all my naked glory for a few seconds. But he did not lock the door. Either there was a whole gang of them of he was lest threatening than I feared. My first impulse was to put a hand in front of my pussy, put an arm in front of my breasts, the classic pose of a woman caught unexpectedly naked. But I didn't do it. I was afraid, all right, and embarrassed by him staring at me. But now I was angry as hell. Besides, he, or they, had already seen me naked. What was the point? So I did not try to hide anything from his view. I was determined not to be the helpless scared girl who had never been fucked before. So I just let him look at me. I felt like daring him to do anything. It made me feel pretty good too, like I am not a victim and I am not going to be. It was also, I was surprised to note, a turn on having this guy looking at me naked.

After a few seconds he said, "Uh, look, I am sorry about this. Uh, please don't be scared or anything. I am not going to hurt you, or, uh, try to rape you."

I felt reassured by his face. He did not look like he was a rapist though he was staring at my body without disguising his interest. But what he said made no sense at all. If not rape, what exactly was his intention. For some reason I believed that he wasn't going to hurt me. His face showed it, though that is just more of me being naive probably. Now I wanted answers, though. "So why am I here naked? How did I get here? Have I been roofied? Where is Gary? Who the hell are you?"

He waited a bit and said, "Your questions are appropriate and I will give you the full story. Uh, you were not roofied, but you were about to be. It was the alcohol by itself that knocked you out. You've never had a drink before, right? The guy that you were with had put the drug in that second drink he was bringing you but you passed out before you drank it. He never gave it to you. He didn't expect you to pass out so quickly. You probably shouldn't drink, you know, in the future. You can't tolerate it."

That was a question I scorned to answer. But I had more questions while his eyes devoured me. I must say I was enjoying this strange man looking at me naked. A lot. Yes, enjoying it, but not any less angry. "So where is that guy? How did I get here? What did he do to me? And who the hell are you?"

"Uh, yeah, well after you passed out he carried you out to his truck. He even asked help getting you out. Told everyone that you couldn't hold your liquor. I don't know why no one was suspicious. The bartender must have known but I think he was a friend of his. Then he drove you here -- uh, its a motel just out of town - and uh, well, he took your clothes off you and uh, I guess he had the worst intentions."

"But he didn't?"

"No. We got here very shortly after he brought you here and stopped him. My friends took him away, unwillingly. WE had some chloroform and he didn't notice us come in because he was, uh, looking at you., And we decided we would give you a chance to wake up on your own."

"Without my clothes?" Still mad!

"Yes, well, I did cover you with a sheet but you've, uh, kicked it off."

"Well thank you for that! OK, so what happened to good old Gary?"

"My friends took him away. I think they plan to do to him what he planned to do to you." There didn't seem to be much to say to that. Whatever they did, Gary deserved it. I didn't say anything for a while as I digested this information. Then he went on. "We saw him put the pill into your drink. We were looking out for that kind of situation and so we intervened. We were going to stop him from giving you the second drink and uh, put him to public shame, assuming the other men in the bar would have cared. We do that occasionally. But we didn't notice what was happening until it was too late to stop him from taking you away."

"OK, so Gary is off somewhere with your friends and... And why am I still naked?"

"Gary is probably being raped by my... gentleman friends. He will be OK. Less traumatized than you would have been. Maybe. And not as likely to try this again."

"All right. All right. SO WHY AM I STILL NAKED dammit? Where are my clothes?" My eyes narrowed. "What happens next?" I was pretty sure he wasn't going to hurt me, but I obviously had not been very wise the last few hours.

"Well, that depends on you. Uh, I have a favor to ask. And you are under no obligation to grant it. If you say no I will just give you your clothes back and uh, leave. You can do whatever you want. I will give you a ride home if you need one."

"So I can just demand my clothes right now and walk out and your won't try to stop me?"

"Right, but I am hoping you'll listen to my request first before you decide to leave."

"Why should I? Why should I trust you. You still haven't answered WHY I AM STILL NAKED? You could have given me my clothes if you wanted to. Leaving me naked here doesn't inspire me to trust you very much."

"Yes, I can see that. But I promise I won't touch you at all. I just left you naked because... well, I like looking at you naked. It is a presumption on my part and I am sorry. But it would have been difficult to get you dressed while you were asleep."

The way he talked was disarming. Didn't sound like an ordinary country boy, brash with male privilege and domineering. The way he spoke, his demeanor, it was all calming. Should I trust him? He certainly hadn't tried anything, as tempting as I may have been standing there in full view with no one around. What should I do? I decided to give him a chance. Being naive again I suppose. But I realized that I was glad this guy wanted to see me naked. It was a compliment, in a way. It made me feel good, a tingling inside I had never felt before. I like knowing he wanted me. "OK, what do you want? What favor?"

He licked his lips, nervously. "OK, this may sound strange. I want to take off my clothes, and I want to masturbate while you watch me." He paused, and I must say I was entirely taken off guard. He went on, "I am an exhibitionist. I like women to watch me. I mean, I like having ordinary sex as well, but being watched is what really turns me on. We, my friends and I, have rescued women before and sometimes the women we rescue are grateful and willing to help me out. Some don't want to, of course. It is totally up to you. If you don't want to, you are free to go."

There was something about this that really turned me on, in spite of the indignation I had been feeling. I had never seen a guy naked before, outside of porn. Movies never really give you a good look at a naked man. I was a virgin still. I was curious. I really wanted to see his penis and watch him. It made me feel what I can only describe as hot and intense. "OK. Do I still need to stay naked? Can I get dressed?"

"Well, you can if you wish, but I would really like to look at you while I masturbate. I could fantasize about having sex with you while I did it. It would be more... fun."

I thought about it. As far as seeing me naked, there was no way to take that back. And it turned me on even more that he would be fantasizing about fucking me while he did it. What harm could it do? I imagine some women would find it disgusting, but it actually turned me on that I could watch him. "OK. But you owe me your name."

"Oh, yes. Well my name is, unfortunately, Gary. I hope that doesn't spoil this, uh, moment for you. Do you want to tell me your name?"

What the hell? "I am Linda. OK, Gary, I will watch you. But I want you to talk to me while you do it. I want to know what your are thinking about while you look at me."

"Sure. I can do that. I'm not very, uh, articulate, but I will try. I'll just say whatever I am thinking? You won't be offended or grossed out or... anything?."

At this point I was so turned on I didn't care. "So..." and he started to undress. First his shoes and socks, Then his shirt. And then his pants. I could see that he was already beginning to get his erection through his underwear. That was exciting to see. I had fantasized about watching a man get an erection, and I always enjoy it even now I am more experienced. Like at school, when a guy sees someone he wants, or when he just thinks about something naughty, and then he has to hide his bulging pants. I would always pretend I hadn't noticed so it wouldn't be too embarrassing to him, but I would steal as many glances as I could. Guys have it hard - I mean tough.

As he undressed he was talking. "I am excited to take my clothes off because I really get turned on by women looking at me. I'd enjoy being a stripper, but doing it for pay might ruin it, you know? And I really enjoy looking at you naked. You are beautiful and as you see, you are making me aroused. I am thinking that I like your tits. They are not too large, like so many porn stars have. And I really like your pussy. I am so glad you don't shave. I could put up a picture of your pussy on my wall and just stare at you."

Now he slowly pulled down his underwear. He had to stretch out the waistband to fit it down over his penis. It made me feel very hot to see it. It made me hot to know that I was the cause of that dick pointing at me. And then he was standing there just naked, with his dick nearly straight out. Wow. He wanted me to look, so I just stared at his dick, memorizing it. The first penis I had seen in real life. It looked huge but I now know it was just average. Looking at him naked made me feel hot. I was fantasizing about him, now, too. Wondering what it would be like to give a blow job? What it would be like to take that dick inside? How would it feel all the way in? How could it possible fit it?

"I am thinking how beautiful your body is, how glorious it would feel to fuck you. My dick says it all." I supposed that was true but actual words make it better. "I can imagine being all the way inside you, pushing as deep as possible. Feeling my orgasm getting closer and closer with every push."

"But you didn't want to fuck me so bad that you wanted to rape me?"

He paused a second. "No. It just doesn't seem like it would be uh, fun, to have sex with someone who didn't want to have sex with me. It would just spoil the whole thing. I guess some men really like the idea of being in control, dominating, but that just doesn't appeal to me. I want it to be reciprocal, you know. Two way."

I suppose this was two way in that we were both naked. So should I masturbate to keep him company? I was thinking about it. "OK, exhibitionist. Show me your dick from all angles. Show me your balls. I will be looking as hard as I can."

He turned slowly to the side to let me see his dick sticking out in full profile, and he cupped his balls in one hand and moved them so they would be more visible to me. The first penis I had seen in real life and what I really wanted was to touch it and play with it and suck it and take it inside my vagina. I wanted sex more than I had ever wanted it, and all I had to do was to see a man's dick from four feet away. Considering my up-bringing I would have felt guilty except there were too many other feelings coursing through me. His penis was very hard and stiff and curved up slightly at the end. It looked like desire embodied. His balls were prominent. They looked full and ready for action.

"Do you want me to jerk off in profile or aiming at you?" He was looking at me looking at him. Not my breasts or my pussy but at my eyes. So I gave him the stare I thought he wanted. I tried to let him see how much I was enjoying him.

"Let's do change about. I like it when your dick is aimed right at me. But I want to see you cum from the side."

He turned back toward me and took his dick in his right hand and began touching himself. I had expected he might wrap his hand around his whole dick and sort of pump on it, like his hand was a vagina and he was fucking someone, but he didn't do that. Instead, he touched himself all over but gently and after a few minutes he let his index finger move back and forth sideways across the head of his dick, which was even more erect that when I first saw it. How much more erect could it get? I thought if his dick got any more erect it would explode. OK, I guess in a way that is exactly what was about to happen. I wanted to see that explosion.

"Uh, Now I am imagining that it is your hand touching me. And I am thinking how your tits make me want to suck on them. You have beautiful tits, you know." I think I actually blushed. "When I look at your tits I imagine my semen squirting on them and running down them. I am thinking what it would look like if my semen ran down over your nipples. Maybe my semen would splash between your tits and I could push them together and rub my semen between them." That was a new idea to me, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Do men like to cum on women's breasts? How would it feel to have his cum on my breasts. Then what would I do with it? Wipe it off I guess. Now I was imagining him licking his own cum off my tits, or maybe even sucking on me. But guys probably don't like to taste their own cum. Do they? I reached up with one hand and took one of my nipples between my thumb and first finger. That seemed to really turn him on.

He kept gently rubbing the head of his dick, mostly moving his finger sideways across the head of his dick. "Now, I am looking at your pussy. I am thinking how fun it would be to play with your clitoris with my tongue. I can almost see your clitoris. I have eaten out women before so I know how it would feel so good to be eating you out. How it would feel to play with your nipples with my hands while my tongue played with your clitoris."

Now that was a turn on. Just hearing him say the words got me to reach down and begin rubbing my own clitoris with my left hand. He was rubbing more energetically now, but still mainly from side to side near the top of his dick.

"The best thing about eating a woman out is her orgasm. Some women push their pussy hard into your face while they cum. And you can feel their orgasm shaking their tits." I pushed my index finger into my vagina and his mouth opened wide. Then I slid two fingers into my vagina while he stared.

He was breathing hard now and the end of his dick was getting wet. There was a drop of moisture that slowly collected on the tip and dripped slowly down. Was that cum? I didn't think so. It's supposed to squirt out and this was just like oozing.

"Now I am thinking how glorious it would feel to push my dick slowly into your pussy, like your fingers are now. How glorious it would feel to cum inside you." I was thinking about that now too. What would it feel like to have a man's penis inside me? Would I be able to feel his semen in me when he came? I had no idea, of course.

He was breathing heavily and I could tell he must be getting close to climax. Now he turned to the side and I knew he was about to cum. "Oh, man, look at my dick! This is what I look like when I am inside a woman and... and..." The first jet of his cum surprised me. It must have shot out nearly a foot before it hit the floor, and right away there was another ejaculation, not quite so far. There were four ejaculations total and even after his orgasm was mostly over, cum still oozed out of his dick and dripped down to the floor. He just stood there breathing hard, totally spent, and let me watch. He stood there for a minute or two as his dick slowly unstiffened. It took a while before his dick was relaxed. I was surprised at how small his dick was when it wasn't erect. I bet it would have really looked hot watching his dick expand in the first place. When he was mostly limp he continued to stand there and let me look at him. When the cum had quit dripping down, he walked over to the desk in the room to get some tissue to wipe up all the cum from the rug.

"Thank you," he said, still ragged. "That felt great."

"Wait." I wasn't sure what I wanted but I wanted to have some role in this, other than just a naked vision to jerk off to. "Wait. Let me clean up your cum." He was surprised but he turned and handed me the tissues. I took them but instead of wiping up the pools of cum, I touched one with a finger, and just felt of it between thumb and finger. It was warm and kind of thick and sticky. I don't know what I had expected, exactly. Then on impulse, I put my finger and a small glob of cum into my mouth. I had been wondering what cum tasted like since I first heard about blow jobs. After all, more than likely, I would eventually give some guy a blow job. Good to be prepared. It tasted -- well, how do you describe a taste? The first thought I had when I put his cum to my tongue was, "It's not bad." I took another blob of cum and put it on my tongue and I knew I could get used to this. And I also knew that I wanted to practice and get good at it.

He was just standing there, looking down while I tasted him. His dick was limp now and just a foot away from my face. I looked at it closely, looked at how his balls were hanging down, at how small it had become and then, again on impulse, I turned to him and sucked his whole dick into my mouth. It was limp enough so I could easily fit all of him in, all the way to his balls. There was still a bit of cum on the end of his dick that I could taste. I just held his dick in my mouth for a few seconds and felt how hot it made me feel, all the way down in my pussy. Then I withdrew. He had the most surprised expression on his face. "Wow. That felt really really good."

I stood up and backed away. He went over to the closet and retrieved my clothes. I was reluctant to put them on. It was so cool to be naked with a naked man and I didn't want this, whatever it was, to be over. But we both put our clothes on. I did ask him for a ride back to my house. I know that letting him know where I lived wasn't wise, but after what he had done and the way he had treated me, I felt like I could trust him. We didn't talk much on the way back to my house. I sort of hoped I might see him again. He was a gentleman, though that sounds weird to say. In a way he had taken advantage of me, though from a distance. The other Gary had paid for the room and we left the key in a drop box. No staff on duty early in the morning, but it wasn't a high class place. On the way home I realized how much I wanted to see this Gary again and told him so. And I told him I wouldn't mind watching him masturbate again, if he would like a repeat sometime. I wasn't offering to have sex with him; just watch him again. He thanked me, actually. We didn't make any future dates but I bet I will see him again. And I can picture in my mind what his dick looks like up close. It has made me want more. I've long known that I would enjoy sex a lot. Now I knew I would. And the sooner the better..

Two

It was two weeks later that I heard from Gary. I had spent a lot of that time fantasizing about him and I was beginning to think he might not ever call. I wasn't devastated. I was not in love with him. I didn't really know him. We had only talked for like fifteen minutes. But I was disappointed. I used to think about sex fairly often and I used to masturbate two or three times each week. Now I thought about our encounter a lot, every night. Sometimes I dreamed about him. And I masturbated every day. Sometimes in my dreams we would both be naked and he would be just about to enter me, but I always woke up right at that point. I really didn't feel like I was ready to have sex with Gary, but I did feel like I wanted to be ready to have sex with him. I suppose I had too many hangups from my religious training. So? It is right to be loyal to your parents, to your upbringing, unless they are abusive or manipulative. You don't just throw out your beliefs that casually. But for the first time, I did begin to question them..

And then, near the end of January, he called. I had left my cell on the little table near the stairs where we keep bills and such like. When it rang I was upstairs and my mom didn't see me so she answered it. I could hear her.

"No, this is Linda's mother. She's just upstairs. I'll fetch her." I ran down immediately. I didn't know who it was but from the expression on her face I could tell it was a boy. I had not dated. Ever. Even junior prom was a no show for me and my parents were pretty happy about that. I didn't know any boys I liked and my parents didn't have a high opinion of "kids these days". Any guy who wanted to date me would have a tough job selling the idea to them. They didn't forbid me dating, but they made it clear that boys were not to be trusted and that I was better off staying at home till I was older. Like maybe thirty. There was so much resistance that I had just never tried, and none of the guys I knew tempted me to try. I took the phone and went upstairs to my room so we could speak in private.

"Uh, hello, Linda. This is me, Gary. If you remember me -"

"Of course I remember you! How could I forget?" How indeed!

"Well, yes, I had hoped it was memorable. I was thinking that maybe we could go out for dinner. Or something. I would like to get to know you, in a more social way that is. I am thinking a traditional old fashioned boring first date kind of thing. No alcohol. No pressure, no, uh, expectations."

I didn't have to think long. "Yes, I would like to see you again." That didn't sound too eager did it?

He breathed a big sigh. "Good. Good. Maybe Angelo's. You like Italian?"

"Who doesn't? You would have to meet my parents before they would let me go out with you though. They are pretty conservative and protective."

"Sure. I sort of figured they didn't know about the little excursion you made to the bar? And there are a lot of predators out there, so their protectiveness is warranted." I was remembering the other Gary who was a predator. I had been stupid and lucky.

"Absolutely they did not. They thought I was with Linda, uh, another Linda that I hang out with a lot, that I was spending the night with her like I usually do."

"So you didn't get in trouble?"

"No. Though so many things could have gone wrong. It makes me cringe to think of it."

"Yes. Well, your parents' good opinion of you is really important. It's worth preserving. So I will come by and reassure them. I have respectable credentials. Say Thursday at 6."

"That should be good. My dad will be home by then and they will have some time to grill you."

"OK. I will bring some Bar BQ for the grilling."

"Ha. Ha. But I think they will like you."

"I hope so. See you then."

I hung up and knew my mom would be waiting to find out who had called and why, so I decided to get it out in the open as quickly as possible. I zipped down the stairs and found her tidying up near the hall closet, obviously waiting for me. Her eyebrows were still arched.

"Mom, that was a guy named Gary. He asked me out for dinner and I would like to go if that is OK."

"We'll need to know the details of course and meet him before we can say yes. Who is Gary exactly? A boy from school?"

I ignored the last question. "I told him you would want to meet him first so he will come over Thursday at 6."

"Good. He's a nice boy, I assume, and responsible."

"Oh, yes, absolutely." I had a sudden flash of memory of him naked with cum dripping down from his penis. "Yes, he is very respectable. I think you will like him." I don't know if my mom could tell I was blushing. This was Tuesday afternoon so my parents had time to get their interrogation organized. And I knew they would be ready.

Gary appeared promptly at 6. I answered the door and showed him in to the living room where my parents were sitting, casually, as if they always sat around casually waiting for someone to come in to grill. My dad stood up and shook Gary's hand as I made the introductions.

"So Gary, tell us a little about yourself. I assume you met Linda at school?"

"Actually, no, I met Linda while she was waiting for a friend by the mall. I graduated school two years ago."

The cards were stacking against Gary, one by one. Gary was now "an older man".

"What have you been doing since you graduated, Gary?"

"I am an intern reporter for the local county paper. I wanted to work and save money for college before I go. My dad can't afford college so it's up to me. I'm interested in journalism and the county paper will give me good experience though it doesn't pay much."

"What does your dad do?"

"He's a policeman. Perhaps you have heard of him or maybe you have seen my byline on articles in the paper. Under Gary Perkins."

Now the cards were unstacking a little. My dad did not approve of people with money enough to afford college. He liked it when young people had some gumption and paid their own way. "So your dad must be Ronald Perkins? I've not met him but he has been in the news occasionally. Seems like a no nonsense kind of guy."

"Yes, he is that."

"You've been out of school a while now so you must be in your 20's?"

"Actually, I got advance placement in high school and graduated a year early. I just turned 19."

The cards were hardly even leaning together now. Gary was the trifecta of possible husbands: poor, honest, ambitious, and bright. That's four qualities in the trifecta but the more the better.

"How did you happen to meet Linda at the mall."

"I was working on an article about the future of the mall, how it is attracting fewer customers and some of the stores are laying off people. It will be a problem for the local economy. The article will be out this Saturday if you are interested."

"Great. I will look it up." That seemed to take the wind out of his sails. "Where will you be going then?"

"Linda said she like Italian, so I was thinking Angelo's."

"That's a nice place. Expensive. OK, kids. Back by 10." As we left, he was turning away but called over his shoulder, "And no wine."

We went out to his car, which was not flashy by any means but was not a junker either, a 2007 Corolla. After we got in I said, "Well you lie believably."

"Actually I do, but the only thing I told your dad that was a lie was about how we met. I could hardly tell the truth about that."

"True! So you are a journalist in training and saving for college and a star student in high school and all that."

"Yes. And you are a star student yourself, if my spies inform me correctly."

"You have spies in the high school?"

"It is helpful for a journalist to have ... contacts. I am still friends with some of the teachers, some of your teachers."

"Well, we have four hours. How do you want to spend it?"

"Uh, you said you might be OK with a repeat of our first uh, night together. If you haven't changed your mind we could go somewhere after dinner and..."

The truth was I really wanted to go somewhere after dinner and... "Yes. I would like that. Where could we go?"

"My friends, let's call them Curly and Moe to protect the innocent, are away until tomorrow afternoon and Curly gave me his key. He knows what we might intend and is completely on my, that is, our side. We could go there."

"If it is safe."

"Completely. And I am not a controversial enough journalist -- yet -- to be followed by anyone. Even my dad doesn't keep track of me as long as I don't get arrested."

"That sounds good."

We had already arrived at the restaurant, one of the classier restaurants in our little town. Actually people come from all over the county for its food. I had lasagna and Gary had fettuccine. It was gloriously good food. I like to eat whether I look it or not. I guess I have a good metabolism, never any problem keeping my weight down. Just lucky that way. No wine, though, after my experience with the bourbon and after my dad's commanding voice.

It was a great dinner. Gary soon put me at my ease talking about school and old Mr. McClendon the history teacher. Gary had really liked him. Mr. McClendon was getting old now, due to retire soon. We still had a few acquaintances in common though I was two years behind him. He had made friends in all the grades. He had even run for student body president once, but had lost. By a wide margin. I remembered that election though I was still in the junior high at the time. Mostly Gary had been below my radar, or above my radar I guess being two years ahead of me.

I was too full for desert as usual and besides I was getting eager to leave. I wanted to get as close to having sex as possible without actually doing it. But it was really good that we had been able to relax and just talk. Gary was intriguing. Most teenage guys would just want to have sex on their first day, and failing that they would expect a blow job or something. But with Gary there was no pressure on me at all to give him anything but attention.

I think we were both anticipating the main event to come. As the food disappeared, we both got more nervous. And I had been thinking a lot about how my next encounter with Gary should go. I wanted more, but not too much more, if you know what I mean. So I decided to turn the conversation in that direction.

"So have you rescued any more girls from being raped?"

He was chewing and took some time to answer, probably trying to calculate how I felt about his "other life".

"Uh, yes, two as a matter of fact."

"Tell me about them."

"You want to know?"

"Yes." I wasn't jealous. I had no claim on Gary. But I was very curious.

"Well, one woman was pretty young, nice looking. She was not happy about any of what happened. I think she liked the guy who was trying to pick her up and wouldn't have been too sad if she had woken up with him. She turned down my proposal flat. I think she was a bit mad at me. So I drove her home. The second woman was older, maybe in her thirties, a little overweight but not by much. I think she was recently divorced and lonely and was probably hoping someone would pick her up. She liked the idea of watching me but I could tell she was really hoping I would fuck her, so I did."

I thought about that for a while. "Were you disappointed? That she didn't just watch you?"

"Well, a little. That's what I like best, but you know all sex is good. It wasn't like I was suffering or anything."

I was glad about that. I wasn't ready to go all the way. Yet. I was so lucky to be getting a gradual intro to sex like this. Gary was perfect for what I wanted.

"We'll need a cover story for what we did after the dinner."

"The new Indiana Jones movie is at the theater. We could say we saw that." Our town has only one theater, with two screens. If not Indiana Jones, we would have to say we were watching the new Disney.

"Indiana Jones is a bit edgy for my parents, but they can hardly expect us to go to a kid's movie. I think they'll be OK with it. Besides, I already sneaked into it with my friend Linda."

"Perfect. If they question you about the movie, then you'll be knowledgeable."

We left and drove to one of those nice apartment complexes just outside of town toward the county seat. The apartment for Curly and Moe was on the second floor and looked pretty nice. Whatever they were like in person, they kept the place neat. Now it was a bit awkward as we knew what was about to happen. I had been thinking about the next time Gary and I hooked up, how I would like it to work out if he ever called me back. This was a good opportunity to learn something about sex but without all the pressure or complications. I had decided to use Gary as a sex tutor.

I spoke first. "I was thinking we should do this a bit differently than we did the first time."

"Yeah? Uh, how so?"

"This time you take off all your clothes first." He didn't look surprised. Actually he looked pleased. "You're not hard yet, are you?"

"No."

"Then get those clothes off. I want to watch you get hard."

He pulled his clothes off fast. I think he was thinking that he would get hard pretty fast just thinking about being naked and getting hard. But when he got his pants off and stood in front of me, I could see his dick was still hanging pretty limply. It was interesting seeing how his penis got hard. It happened in almost a jerky kind of way, gradually getting stiffer and longer and occasionally jerking as if he had tensed up his dick. I knew he liked to be watched so I was giving him what I could. Actually I was staring at his dick. And he was just standing there for me with his hands to his side so I could see it all. And I could tell he was enjoying it. I had seen him naked before but it is hypnotizing to watch a man get an erection. His penis started out pretty small, maybe two inches. As he got hard, his penis stiffened and also got longer until it was maybe five inches and as stiff as a pencil, but a lot thicker than a pencil of course. My eyes were like video cameras on his dick, trying to memorize everything. I was going to have a lot of pleasure replaying this scene..

When I start having sex regularly, I want to always watch the guy get hard when I can. It is so hot. But wait a minute. Maybe I am starting to have sex regularly. Does watching a guy jerk off count as having sex? It doesn't seem like it is really having sex, but I bet my parents would think it is. I am still a virgin. Right? When I try to think about it I am no longer sure I even know what it means to be a virgin.

It didn't take long before Gary was about as erect as he could get, and I hadn't had to do anything to get him there. He hadn't even touched himself. It was my eyes that made him hard. Last time he had been looking at me naked for a while and was already fairly hard before he undressed. This time I was fully clothed. He didn't need a naked woman to get hard. It was not anticipation and imagination either. All he needed was a woman to look at him. I didn't know such men existed. He was truly an exhibitionist. Maybe that makes me a voyeur? So far all I have done is watch. I stared at his dick for a while. I still wasn't ready to be fucked but I had been thinking. This was my chance to learn how to do a lot of different things that weren't intercourse. I could become an expert at foreplay. So this time I wanted to learn to do a handjob. He had masturbated for me last time; this time I would be the one to touch him. Besides, I wanted to play with his penis.

When he was naked for a little while and just letting me stare at him, he reached up and took his dick in his right hand to masturbate again, but I stopped him. "No. This time I want you to lie down on the bed and I will touch you. You can teach me how to give a hand job. I can take off my clothes if you'd like but if I keep them on then maybe you'd feel more exhibitionisty."

He just smiled and finally said, "That would be great. Uh, if you didn't mind perhaps you could take off your shirt so I could see your breasts while you touch me. You have beautiful tits, you know. Maybe I could touch your tits while you play with my dick?"

"Absolutely." I pulled off my blouse and unfastened my bra, a black one I particularly liked. I liked it that he wanted to see my tits. I have suspected that most guys would think my tits were too small. They all just seem to like the girls with the big breasts. It is good to know guys are not all alike. He laid down on the bed so his dick was pointing straight up at the ceiling. What a sight for sore eyes. I had fantasized about this for more than a week now and my dreams were coming true. I swallowed hard in anticipation. I knelt down by the bed up near his shoulder so I could reach his penis comfortably and have a good view. My breasts were almost resting on the side of the bed.

"First, wrap your left hand all around my dick, and squeeze it pretty tightly and just hold it without moving your hand."

And I did. What a thing to be holding a man's dick in my hand!

"Have you watched much porn?"

"Some. My friend Linda smuggles some to her house when we have a girls' night out."

"Good. Now sliding your hand up and down looks good in the videos, and if your hand is a little slick, with lube or whatever, you can do it hard. But without some oil or something, it might hurt more than it helps. So just pump my dick gently for a while like your hand is a vagina."

I did so, watching his face to see how good it was making him feel. I loved to see that I was making him feel good. After a short time he reached over with his left hand and cupped my right breast. He moved his hand over so my right breast was resting on his palm. That was a wonderful thing. No man had touched my breasts before.

"Now, let go and just move the flat of your hand up and down for a while. Just play with the whole length of my dick and touch my balls once in a while. You don't have to be rough or anything. You can also grip my dick and sort of rotate your hand around it and that feels very good. Don't go fast."

I did as he said and watched how his dick responded as I played with him, with a glance once in a while to his face to see how he was feeling. I just kept that up for a good long time keeping the whole scene on my mental video tape. He is slim but not really athletic. Maybe average for a guy, I don't know. But attractive. Maybe any reasonably fit man would be attractive when he is naked. Meanwhile he was massaging my breast from underneath it and sometimes squeezing it a bit. Then he moved his hand up and took my nipple between his thumb and forefinger and kind of rolled it around. That was like a shock all the way through me. I was getting really turned on and it made me want to jerk him off as hard as I could. I wanted his cum badly. But I controlled my self and concentrated on making him feel best. I leaned over so that my head was resting on his chest and my breast was pushed against his hand, my nipple in the middle of his palm.

"OK, now the most sensitive part of a man's penis is right near the end, just above where the foreskin is rolled back. On the lower side of the penis. If you move your fingers back and forth across that slit there, that feels wonderful. You can use your other hand to hold my dick still and just slide you fingers gently but across the head. Oh. Yes. That is right."

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed playing with his balls. After all, it is the penis itself that would be inside and making all the difference, right? The balls would hardly be noticeable while you're being fucked, right? But they are fun to play with. As he was progressing toward his orgasm the sac holding his balls got tighter, like they were getting ready to go into action. I could tell he was getting closer just by how his dick and his balls felt. And there was some liquid oozing out of his penis which he told me to use to smear over his dick. It made the rubbing feel better. Also, he encouraged me to spit into my hand once in a while and rub that into his dick. You need the dick to be wet and a little slippery to make it feel the best. Normally during sex the penis is quite wet enough inside a vagina, I would guess.

He was getting close now, really close, and his penis was pretty wet from my spitting on it and his own fluid helping. "You can be more rough now it is all wet. I am close. Any minute now. You are making me feel so good!" His hand was squeezing my tits more firmly now and pinching my nipple and just generally moving around more energetically. His hand was almost shaking while he played with my tits.

"Watch me closely now. I am about to cum and... Oh!"

I saw the first jet of his cum squirt out really hard right toward my face while he pushed his dick against my fingers. It landed on his stomach just above his navel and made a little river of cum. Then another jet splashed onto his stomach. It was like his dick was a gun aimed at me. I kept rubbing his dick so I could get all the cum he had. I don't remember how many ejaculations he had, I was just concentrating on watching.

When his orgasm subsided I kept his dick in my hand and squeezed it a little. He was shuddering a bit as he recovered and his hand was still holding my breast. Once he relaxed a little, I released his penis and began to play with his cum with my forefinger, just rubbing it around on his stomach. I thought if I were in love with Gary I would write "I love you" on his stomach with his semen. It was warm and a little sticky and a little thick and looked so cool. I had made him do that and I felt proud, actually. It was glorious. I was going to do a lot of masturbating to this memory this week. I had never felt so good.

It wouldn't be right to write something with his semen, but I could do something else with it. I stuck my finger covered with his semen into my mouth. I had tasted him before and remembered exactly what he would taste like. I wanted more, but instead of taking with my finger, I lifted my head off his chest and moved down to lick up some of his cum from his stomach. It was salty and warm and it made me feel hot inside. I took a second lick and thought about licking it all off. That thought really turned me on, so I kept licking his cum. I got most of it, licking right down the little stream to his penis and then licking the head of his dick where a little more cum was oozing out. I was a little surprised at how much I liked his cum.

Then I just lay back with my head on his shoulder and watch his dick slowly grow softer. I wondered how long before he was ready to have another orgasm and asked him.

"I don't know. It might take a while, maybe a few hours. I haven't tried to find out."

"If we didn't have to get me home on time, I would keep you here and see if we could do it again."

"Maybe next time then -- if you want another date in the future. You are certainly good to me."

"Yes, I would like that. I'll be remembering how you looked all week or longer."

We lay there for a few minutes and then he cleaned himself off since I hadn't taken all of his semen, and we got dressed. As it was, we were ten minutes early dropping me off, and that really impressed my dad. Gary didn't stay long, just said hello to my parents, that we had had a great time, and then good night to me. He didn't try to kiss me good night, and that also got my dad's approval. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. It would shock him so deeply if he knew how we had spent the evening. Some things are better not confessed.

"I am glad you had a good time, honey. Do you think you want to see him again?"

"Yes, I think so. I really like him."

"Well, honey, I must say I am glad. He seems like an exemplary young man."

They were just finishing an old rerun of a Seventh Heaven episode so they were ready for bed and I was tired. So we didn't get into any awkward conversations. Everything was good. I went to bed and spent some time masturbating and remembering the evening. After the second dose of a powerful drug, you become addicted, right? I might be addicted to Gary's penis. I was certainly looking forward to the next time. And I was already beginning to think how I would like it to go for our third act.

Three

Gary did call me back within a day this time and we went out the next Thursday. And the next and the next. But we didn't get a chance to do anything sexually until nearly a month later, near the end of March. But it was fun. We hit it off really well and got to know each other. Meanwhile, Gary did his best to get to know my parents. He even asked if he could come to church with us some Sunday and that clinched it. We go to a Bible Church, a non-denominational conservative church. Gary's mom had been Catholic and had died eight years before; after that his father quit going to church and Gary didn't want to go on his own. He didn't know what he believed. Perfect. Gary was now a respectable young man, good husband prospect, and an evangelism target. Fortunately my dad was not high pressure that way, but he did take every opportunity to talk to Gary about the Bible, ask him what he thought about the sermon and so on. Gary handled it all very well.

Except for going out to dinner at various restaurants, mostly ones out near the county seat, we didn't go out in public. None of my friends knew anything about Gary and I preferred it that way. I only had two close friends, and I was pretty sure they were both virgins, though they were both a few months older than me. But if they thought I was getting sexually involved with someone, they would mount an investigation and I just didn't want to share anything about me and Gary with them. I didn't think they could handle it in a mature way. One of them was a giggler. A bad one.

It was one of those weeks when we had no place to go to do our thing that my curiosity got the better of me and I asked Gary how he had gotten into this exhibitionist routine.

"I guess I didn't know how much exhibitionism turned me on until I met Moe's friend, Sheila. She's a painter, and what she mostly paints is nudes. Especially men. She has a hard time finding models though. It is all above board. Nothing sexual goes on. She has painted both Curly and Moe, and some other men. She also paints nude women, but she wanted more men for models. Moe asked me if I would pose for her. I thought about it and the idea - it both scared me and turned me on. This was some years ago. Anyway the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to try it.

I was under age so we had to make special arrangements for Sheila to paint me nude. There had to be a third party, someone who I felt safe with. It couldn't be Moe since he is gay. But Moe has a straight male friend who could be present and guarantee that Sheila and I didn't do anything illegal. Also there was an audio recording made of the whole session.

Anyway, one day during the summer break I went to her studio. I was very nervous at first, of course. I went in to the room and had no idea what to do. She had been painting for a long time, I think she is about 40 years old. She just said, "If you want to, you can go behind that screen and get undressed." Man, I was nervous. I went back there and took off all my clothes and just stood there for a minute thinking to myself that now I was suppose to walk out there where she could see me. I felt like I might get sick and I almost just put my clothes back on and left. But as I was standing there naked the thought just came to me, "You'll never get another chance to do this. Don't be afraid." The first step I took from behind the screen was the hardest step I've ever taken, but the second step was great. As soon as I saw her looking at me I was totally hooked. All my fear was gone.

I was there for several hours and got more relaxed by the minute. I wondered briefly if maybe I was gay. It was confusing, but then it just got clear. Obviously I was still attracted to women, and didn't feel any attraction for men. I mean my best friends were Moe and Curly, but I didn't feel anything sexual for them. They were more like older brothers or uncles or cousins. They were surrogate fathers to me when my dad just gradually checked out.

I only posed for Sheila a few times. The last time I posed for her I got an erection. She painted the picture, erection and all but then she told me it would probably be safer if she didn't paint me after that. I was still a minor and she was not ready to cross any forbidden lines and go to jail. But I talked over the experience with Moe and Curly. I can talk to them about anything. They suggested that I should get some more safe opportunities to try exhibitionism. One night we were at a bar -- I was having a Dr. Pepper, strictly legal, when Moe noticed a guy trying to pick up a woman at the bar, and saw him slip something in her drink. Both he and Curly were really furious. They are gay, and one thing they hate is what they call "toxic masculinity". The more they thought about it, the angrier they got. That was when we came up with our half baked scheme. We would follow them out and rescue the intended victim.

So we did that a few times. We left the woman in the room and just wrote her a note about what had happened. By the third time I was just eighteen and Moe had the idea that maybe I could make the woman my offer if I was there when she woke up. We tried it and much to my surprise it worked. It was my first try, and the woman let me, uh, do my thing. So much fun. It was the fourth time I lost my virginity. That happens occasionally. It all depends on how horny the woman is, I suppose. Most of them are angry, like you were, or just relieved. Often enough they feel grateful and are happy to reward me in a way that is painless to them."

That sounded so weird, that it could ever have happened. "So how many women have you masturbated for before me?"

"Uh, let's see. I guess you were the tenth or eleventh. But you are the only one who has been interested in a repeat."

"Have you reconnected with any of those women? For sex I mean?"

"No. I never suggested it, never gave them my phone number. And they never gave me theirs. But sometimes my offer to strip down leads to actual sex, as I said."

I mulled it over. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed incredibly unlikely to have ever happened. "So your dad is not a 'straight shooter' like my dad called him?"

"Most men would regard him as a 'man's man' I guess. But he is not nice to women." Gary paused a moment. "He was not nice to my mother."

"Oh." This was getting to be a delicate subject. I wanted to be careful. "You said your mother died a few years ago."

"Yes, but you shouldn't think it was my father's fault. She had cancer. He didn't beat her or anything, but verbal abuse can be nearly as bad. She did not have a happy life. I live at home, but I do not pal around with my dad, and he doesn't care. When I finally leave home, I'll be gone for good."

There was silence for a while. I looked at Gary's expression, but he didn't look bitter. Just sad. I had been so lucky with my family. They drove me crazy, and I was beginning to think their sexual ideas were wrong, even biblically wrong. They thought sexual purity was more important than kindness, for example. I was having grave doubts that they were right about what God thought about sex. My family life and upbringing could have been a lot worse, but for the first time I was beginning to think there were serious flaws in their ideas. If I hadn't met Gary I wonder if I would have ended up really neurotic about sex. But my two times with Gary were a good preventive, I think, the gentlest introduction to sex that I could have wished for. I think meeting Gary, both of them on the one night, showed me both the worst and the best aspects of sex.

It was the next week, late in March, that Curly and Moe were going to be out of town again. Gary told me on Sunday when he came over to visit our church and I was keyed up with anticipation. How did I want it to go this time? I wanted it to go further, but I still wanted to be cautious. And it was a great relief that Gary would be happy regardless. I had planned carefully how I wanted things to go this time.

We had our usual dinner, this time at an Irish pub nearly in the next town over. I still didn't drink anything. I wanted to be completely conscious of everything that happened. Alcohol may loosen your inhibitions, but for me it just makes me sort of disoriented and only half aware of how my inhibitions might be violated. If I am going to have sex, in one way or another I want to be able to play the whole experience over and over in my mind.

We got back to Curly and Moe's place and Gary remembered the last time. So as soon as we had the door closed, he stripped completely in front of me so I could watch his erection coming on. What a good start to the night!

"I bet you have plans for this night already thought out."

"Indeed I do!" We walked over to the couch side by side so I could watch his dick moving along with us. I sat down on the couch right in front of him and pulled him close enough that I could kiss his penis. "The first time we were together you mentioned that you were imagining your semen on my tits. Is that something you'd like to see for real?"

"Oh, yes. You have beautiful tits and I'd like to anoint them. As it were."

So I stood up and slowly undressed in front of him. The first time we met I was already naked when he showed up. I wanted to experience what it felt like to gradually strip in front of a man. I was wearing a mid-length dress with buttons all down the front and I slowly unbuttoned them, starting at the top. I could feel him watching me. I had on a red bra which I unsnapped in the back and I slowly let it fall forward off my shoulders, letting my breasts appear slowly. Then it was just a matter of gradually sliding down my panties, which were also red. I realized that I enjoyed stripping in front of him as much as I enjoyed watching him strip. Exhibitionism must be part of my sexual psychology as well as his.. I hoped he liked looking at my body as much as I like looking at his. As much as I like him looking at me.

"Wow. I want your body, Linda, as well as your eyes. Whatever of your body you are willing to give me." He just stared for a while and then went on. "Actually I think a lot of men imagine things like ejaculating onto women's breasts. I don't know, putting their cum on women's bodies in general. Anywhere, everywhere. It is like the idea of putting our cum uh, inside you. Maybe it makes us feel like you belong to us in a special way, taking our cum wherever. A lot of men think about having their ejaculation on a woman's face. I do too, sometimes. It's all good."

I thought about him ejaculating on my face and almost changed my plans, but then decided to go with what I had already planned and save that one for later.

"When you said you imagined your semen on my breasts last time it made me feel hot, tingly, and it made me want to try that. I have been thinking for a month that I would like you to cum on my breasts. You could probably aim well enough to ... anoint me from where you are standing, but I think it would be more fun if I lie down and you straddle me and I can watch you ejaculate from below. I think I could see you better that way too."

"Yes, that sounds really good."

"Like I said, I've been fantasizing about this. You'd be making my dreams come true."

"I don't have much control over where the cum goes, but I will do my best to aim well."

"OK, then. Let's just walk over to the bed." I broke off. It sounded so brazen suddenly. "Here I am inviting a naked man over to bed! I do want to not let this get out of control, you know? I am not ready to have sex with you." I almost added "yet" at the end of the sentence, but I think he heard it implied.

"I understand. I want to make you feel safe all the time. I will never do anything you don't want me to do."

And I realized I did feel safe with him. It was so easy to be naked with him. I laid down on the bed, but I didn't let my legs spread apart. I felt safe, but you never know; he might get carried away or something. He straddled me and there he was with his dick right over me, I was looking up at his dick just a few feet away. One thing about doing it this way was seeing his balls more directly. I hadn't seen his balls very well the first time. They made me feel funny inside. He moved down so that he was a bit further from my face, so that the tip of his dick was just above the lower part of my titties. I remembered how far his first ejaculation had shot out that first time and it seemed like this might be a safe distance. What did it really matter if some of his cum hit my face? I would live. But it still made me a bit nervous.

Then he started playing with his dick, just like the first time only I could see it all better. He ran his finger up and down the whole length of his dick. "You have a beautiful penis." I really liked the look of it. It made me feel hot inside, pointed at me like that. After I had watched him touch himself, I raised my right hand to join in the fun. "I should keep up taking lessons on hand jobs. Let me do this now."

He moved his hands to the side and I continued rubbing my right hand along the whole length of his dick. Then I raised my left hand to play with his balls. It was like electric to me. I was holding a guy's balls! I couldn't believe it. Two months ago I had never seen a naked man except in videos I watched on the sly with Linda. I lifted my hand so his balls were hanging down in my palm. They were loose, I could feel each one of his balls move as I played with his dick. He was rolling his eyes so I guess it felt good to him too. First I kept my palm flat and just let his balls rest on my palm. Then I cupped them and squeezed very gently, all the while moving my right hands up and down his dick. Occasionally I would sort of tickle his balls with my finger tips. Also I remembered how he said it was the end of his penis that was most sensitive, so I would focus on that part every few minutes, rubbing my thumb back and forth across it. I think I was playing with his penis and his balls for fifteen or twenty minutes before he gave signs of getting close. Every once in a while his whole body would tense up and I knew I had touched him just right.

Mostly he kept his eyes open looking at my titties. "You know, you have beautiful nipples." I thought I was beyond blushing, but apparently not. My nipples are fairly dark and were standing up like little mountains on my breasts. He reached down and took one of them with his fingers and played with my titties every way he could have. It was like last time but now his eyes were playing with my tits as well as his hands..

"Do you think my breasts are too small?"

"No. I think your breasts are the perfect size. I have never been one for the really big breasts that some women have. Too... too much of a good thing. Your breasts are... just big enough that they hang down a little when you are standing up. I rlove the way they look. Looking at your tits anytime would give me an erection."

He was already beginning to breathe irregularly. He wasn't talking as much as the times before, but I was busy concentrating all my attention on his dick.

"I am getting pretty close now. Wrap your fingers around my dick and sort of pump it gently." I could feel that his balls were tightening up, like they were ready to fire.

"Now use your thumb on the end of my dick, back and forth with a steady pressure. " He closed his eyes then and began pushing his dick towards me, like he was fucking my hand.

"It would feel good if you are holding my balls when I come. And that is going to be soon. Just keep up what you are doing." His breathing was getting harder and his balls were getting tighter. "Oh, Linda, I am going to give it to you soon. You are doing it all! You are going to make me cum. Yes. Yes. Take me. Take my semen. Make me give it to you!"

"Yes! Give me all your cum! Give me all your semen!"

"Watch me close. I am just about there and... and I want you to see it all." And then I did see it all, The first jet of cum reached my chin, so there was a little river of semen from my chin down my neck and between my breasts. Then another ejaculation nearly to the same place but a little to the side. For the next one he turned his penis a little so his ejaculation nearly hit my right nipple exactly. A few more weak ejaculations and he was nearly spent and my right breast had quite a lot of cum all over it. I remembered licking his semen off his stomach last time, but this time I had a new idea. There was still a little cum dripping from his dick and I reached up to his neck and pulled his face down toward mine. "All these times I have watched your penis and I have never kissed you once. I want you to kiss me this time. With your tongue." He leaned his head down toward me to kiss me but I kept pulling him even closer. I wanted him lying on top of me. He resisted at first but when he realized what I intended he let himself relax and put his chest against mine. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight against me, squeezing his semen between us.

While I was delighting in the way his cum felt between us, he pressed his mouth to mine and I felt his tongue push into me as far as he could. I wasn't sure how this was supposed to be done, so I let my tongue play with his tongue, and when he withdrew his tongue I let mine follow it. Then I was pushing my tongue as far into his mouth as I could. We just kept kissing like that, tongues back and forth, until we had to come up for air. Finally he just let his head relax on my shoulder. We lay there naked for a few minutes, his chest against mine, his semen between us. That was when I noticed his dick between my legs. He was not erect anymore. I had opened my legs a little and his penis was hanging between my legs and just touching my clitoris.

His dick was still partially hard and when he moved slightly his penis rubbed against my clitoris.. It felt GOOD. I spread my legs a bit more inviting his dick to explore my pussy even more. He began to move his penis back and forth along my clitoris and it felt more wonderful that anything I have ever felt. I masturbate a lot, and I love the way my fingers make me feel. But my own fingers are nothing compared to how a man's dick feels down there.

Gary knew that it made me feel really good and he just kept using his dick to stimulate my clit. "Yes! Yes! Your dick feels so good right there, just touching my pussy. Wow."

"It is probably lucky I can't get another erection right now. It would be so easy to fuck you."

"It would be so easy to let you fuck me. And against my better judgment."

"Yes. But let's see if I can give you as good an orgasm as you just gave me."

"How do you like the way your semen feels on my tits?"

"I am surprised to say that I like it a lot. I like the way your tits feel with or without my cum. But now I am used to it I like knowing my cum is between us."

He continued rubbing my clit with his dick and I had an orgasm way faster than he had had his. My whole body started shaking and I pushed my pussy against his dick and I went over the edge. My orgasm lasted for a long time, He was hardly moving through most of it. It was my pussy rubbing itself against his dick. And I could feel that his dick was beginning to get hard again.

When I finally stopped shaking we just lay there for a while, his dick by my pussy.

"I don't think I will be fully happy masturbating by myself after that. Wow."

I was breathing so heavily I could barely talk.

"We will have to take a shower now. It wouldn't do to get back to my parents smelling like your cum."

"They might begin to suspect something then." He looked at his phone. "We have time. Taking a shower with you will be the perfect ending to the night."

Gary sort of unglued himself from me and stood up by the bed. He was looking at me and I was looking at him. I could see the cum on his chest and his dick hanging between his legs. It was so cool. Seeing a man naked is great but seeing a man naked after having sex with him is even better. The cum was so pressed out that you couldn't really see it except as a wet places. So much cum from that penis. What a gift it had been when he gave it to me. I know he enjoyed giving it, of course, but I was so thankful for it. I knew I was going to want more in the future. What did they call it on that porn video Linda showed me a couple weeks ago? I was becoming a cum slut! I wonder if I was. I wanted more of this in the future."Thank you. For your cum I mean."

We went into the bathroom and took a shower together. We took turns soaping each other up and washing the cum off. It gave him a chance to touch me all over, and though I had already touched him, a couple of times, I really enjoyed getting free license to touch his body anywhere and everywhere. But we had to be quick. It was time to put on our clothes and get back to my house.

My parents were so used to us going out every Thursday that things were very relaxed when I got home. My mom had made cinnamon rolls and coffee and my dad invited Gary to stay and visit a while. And he did. And it was a comfortable visit. Gary was at his most charming and knew just what to say to make my dad and mom pleased with him. I was already looking forward to next time.

Four

Gary and I did not hook up again for several weeks, not until mid-April. But we did go out on dates regularly. There was no opportunity for us to do our exhibitionist thing, but I was using that time to plan what the next time would be like. Meanwhile Gary would come over for dinner once a week, usually Sunday evening. He even agreed to attend my family's church. Beside the dinners, he would take me out for a regular date at some nice restaurant (there were exactly three in our town that were what you'd call nice) and a movie. Over the course of the next month or so Gary was building up a lot of credibility with my parents. If they ever guessed what we had actually done, three times now, they would have tried to ground me for life, even if I had turned 18 and was about to graduate from high school. And Gary offered to teach me to drive. My dad was nervous about the whole driving thing, but Gary talked him in to it. My dad really was beginning to like Gary. I did learn to drive but I never got around to getting the license. Without the prospect of getting a car, there didn't seem to be much point. And I would probably go to college out of state.

Gary and I had been as intimate as two people can be without having actual intercourse. And I imagine any one who knew what was going on between us would wonder why we hadn't fucked yet. Well, there were several reasons. One was Gary's proclivity for exhibitionism. He wasn't opposed to fucking, but he was content with how far we had taken things. The other reason that caused me, at least, to hesitate to ask for a complete consummation was that I wasn't sure I was ready; I had a lot of purity teaching in my baggage and it takes some figuring out. I suppose, after what we had done, you wouldn't think purity would be an issue anymore. I was sort of content too; and sort of not content. I wanted to try new things, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to lose my virginity yet. I wondered if I might be falling in love with Gary, but the more I thought about it, the more I doubted it. I liked him a lot. But I didn't feel what I imagined love feeling like. I felt something like lust for his body, but not for his soul. He was a great guy. I just wasn't sure if he was great enough for an exclusive life together.

We finally had an opportunity a few weeks after Easter when Curly and Moe were going to be out of town again over night. The sexual tension had been building up between us to a fairly high pitch. You can't watch a guy masturbate, and let him see you naked without some tension developing. Finally the night came and we set it up just like usual, telling my parents we'd be at dinner and probably a movie afterward. At 18 I still had a curfew, but this time it was 11 o'clock. It was a sign that they trusted Gary a lot. Adulthood here I come!

This time we went to the Chinese restaurant in town, a buffet which was quite good. I admit I don't like Chinese food but they had a lot of Americanized stuff that I do like. We always have an interesting conversation, on all of our dates, even though there was the tension on this particular night of what was about to happen. I still didn't have firm plans for next year and Gary didn't either. Afterward we drove over to Curly and Moe's place. I still didn't know their real names, only that it came from an old television show Gary's dad liked to watch.

We got inside to the air conditioned apartment. It was already hot, unusual for April, so the air conditioning was welcome. I went to Gary immediately and kissed him hard. We had our tongues in each other's mouths and just played with each other for a long time. I was hugging him so hard that I could feel his erection coming on.

After a little while I backed up enough to speak. "This time I would like to give you a blow job. I know you like being watched best, but I would be in pretty close if I were sucking on you."

He looked surprised. "Ah, yes. I would love that. If you are sure that's what you want to do."

"Has anyone ever given you a blow job before?"

"Yes. Actually, uh,... Curly gave me a blow job once. And so did Moe."

"I thought you were straight!"

"I am. But Curly and Moe aren't. And they really wanted to. And I didn't see any harm in letting them."

"How about women? Have any women given you a blow job?"

"Yes. Twice now. You aren't upset or... jealous are you?

I thought about it a while, searched through the inventory of my feelings and decided I didn't care. "Nope. I've never had any exclusive claim on you, anyway. It's doesn't bother me."

Gary looked relieved. "Mostly women just watch me like you did. I never ask for more. But sometimes they volunteer it, like you are doing."

"Have you ever fucked anyone?"

"Yes. Twice. Not recently."

"Well I knew you were considerably more experienced than me just from the first time we, uh, met. So I am not surprised. However, you will have to teach me how to do a blow job. I probably won't do it right but I want to make you feel as good as I can."

"What made you think of this?"

"Well, it is just logical, you know. Someday more than likely I will be sucking a guy off. I should learn how to do it so when the time comes I'll be ready. I decided to use you as a sort of sex tutor."

"That makes sense to me. OK, yes I would like you to suck my dick."

"I think I will keep my clothes on, this time, so you will perhaps feel more naked than you would if we both were. An appeal to your exhibitionist side."

"That actually sounds really exciting. I fantasize being naked in a room full of women and all of them are dressed."

"Well, I will only be one woman, but maybe I can figure a way to get you a room full of women to watch you. We shall see. Meanwhile, I am going to undress you this time. You keep your hands to yourself."

I unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off his shoulders and moved around to the back to take it off. I had not spent much time touching his body, come to think of it, except last time touching his dick, and when I was behind him pulling his shirt down I reached around to touch his chest and I let my hand roam down to his belt, just resting my hands so that I was almost touching the bulge in his pants. I slowly moved my hands down to engulf his erection through his pants. Then I moved around to the front and unbuckled his pants and gradually pulled them down. Only his underwear remained and I could see the outline of his dick in stark profile. He was wearing briefs, which exposed the outline of his erection better than boxers would have. Now all I had to do was slide down his underwear and he would be naked.

I knelt on the floor in front of him to do it. I wanted his dick to be directly in front of my eyes as I slid his underwear down. And there he was, naked, with his dick virtually stabbing my face.

"Is it best for me to kneel in front of you while I suck you off?"

"Well, are you comfortable? Would a different position be better?"

I wasn't sure how my knees would hold up if it took long to bring him to climax. The floor was hard, no rugs or anything. "How would this be? I will go over to the bed sitting with my back against the head-board and you come over like last time and straddle me. But this time your dick will be right in my face. And then I will suck you."

I kissed the end of his penis and put just the tip of it in my mouth. He sort of shivered when I did and it made me feel so hot. It made me want to suck him all the way in and then fuck him and then suck him again. I felt like I could make love to his dick all night.

I stood up and moved over to the bed and got comfortable and he came over and straddled me, like he had done last time but now his dick was sticking directly into my face. I hardly had to move to take it into my mouth.

"So, any advice? What to do, what not to do? "

"Well, it is your tongue that will do it. The main thing is to not touch me with your teeth. That would hurt. But moving your tongue around is what feels best. You don't have to take my whole dick into your mouth but if you do that feels great. You don't actually have to suck my dick, but if you want to it feels great. Your tongue is the main thing. Put your tongue anywhere, on my balls, anywhere. And especially let your tongue play with the head."

"On the porn sites, the woman holds the cum in her mouth to show the guy, I guess. Is that what you want?"

"I think that's for the camera, more than anything, but anything you do will be a turn on."

"Is it important to swallow your cum?"

"It would love it if you do, watching you swallow, feeling you swallowing. It would feel more like you really wanted me. But don't do anything you don't want to. It is your first time, so just swallow or not as you wish."

I began by licking his whole dick all over. I played with his balls with my tongue, with his dick along my cheek all the way to my ear. I wasn't sure if it was OK, but I sucked one of his balls into my mouth, very gently. I remember thinking, "OMG, I have a man's ball in my mouth!"

Then I began licking all over the tip of his penis, especially licking under the head of his dick where my thumb was touching him when I jerked him off. I gradually took his dick a little further in and a little more, and then I tried for taking his whole dick in. I could do it but only for a second. I kept letting him slide in and out of my mouth, each time trying to take him all the way in and hold him there for a little longer. I got better at it with each try. Finally I was able to take his whole dick in and curl my tongue around the end of his penis. That really seemed to make him feel good. When I moved my tongue over the tip of his dick I could feel his pleasure in it. I was wondering how far into my mouth his dick should be when he came. Since then I have given many a blow job and what I like best is half way in, so his cum squirts out onto the middle of my tongue and back into my throat. But it is all good. If the dick is all the way in and his cum hits the back of your throat then it can be tricky to swallow it in time for the next ejaculation. I like to savor the cum, so more toward the front seems best to me.

I can't describe how a man's penis feels in your mouth. It is so hard, so intrusive. It is, in my imagination, like the barrel of a gun, cocked and ready to shoot. And at the same time you want it to shoot, to fill you up with the guy's seed. And the whole time you are sucking on it, playing with it, you imagine it in your pussy. It is especially so when you can tell the guy is getting close. I can tell when he is about to cum and that makes me really want it all, very much. It is tempting to suck him harder and harder to get the orgasm going sooner, but actually my experience is that it is much better to let his dick take its own time. It feels better for him and I think it makes the ejaculation more forceful. The feel of that cum -- it is hot and sticky and the force of it is amazing -- next to having my own orgasm it is the best feeling in the world, at least it seems so to me. You can feel a guys orgasm in your pussy, at least I can, but feeling him cum in your mouth is just much much more intense.

I took a break and licked all around the outside of his penis. His balls were beginning to tighten up so I knew he might cum pretty soon. "I want you to push your dick into my mouth, in and out, like you would push it into my pussy if you were fucking me."

I opened my mouth a bit wider and he began to push in and out gently at first, then more energetically. It was tricky keeping my teeth out of the way. I think I hurt him once, but I was really trying to be careful. Soon I could tell he was getting close. I kept my tongue pressing up against the under side of his penis, so that his dick would slide over it, moving my tongue sideways across his dick as he rubbed against it. I could feel the urgency of his need increase. He needed the release. It was like his dick was going to explode in my mouth which was exactly what I wanted. "Oh, oh, I am getting there. Be ready." He was gasping a little. "Yes, yes, you are sucking my dick. You are sucking me. I want you to suck it all out. Yes. Yes! Oh, man. I am fucking your mouth! I am fucking... your... mouth". He pushed his dick in as far as he could and then he did explode right at the back of my throat. I felt the jet of semen hit the back of my throat. It almost choked me and would have if I hadn't been ready. The way his penis felt when it tightened up for the ejaculation - it was so fast! And then another ejaculation was coming on and I was ready though I hadn't swallowed all of the first shot. But this time I was actually sucking his dick when it came and I sucked his cum in. I was just swallowing when the third shot came, fortunately a little less in volume. My mouth was getting full so I had to swallow quickly before more semen came in. The rest of his orgasm was in little bits, and I kept sucking it until I was sure I had it all.

I stopped swallowing so I could savor the feel of his sperm in my mouth. I had tasted a little of his cum the first time we had been together, so I knew what to expect roughly., and then I had licked his cum off his chest after the hand job. I knew what it would taste like, but this was like a full course meal of his semen when I had only had the appetizer before. I still can't describe the taste. It takes getting used to, like any taste does, and it is not like anything else. But I was quick to get used to it. A little salty, but something else ... I know women who don't like the taste. It is just a personal thing, I guess. But I love it. I moved the last of his cum around with my tongue, over his dick and around in my mouth. It is the texture of cum that is most noticeable. Sometimes it is thicker than other times but regardless... well, slimy gives the wrong impression. But it is gooey. I knew that I would like it more every time I gave a blow job. Maybe I should just go around offering to give blow jobs to random guys. I bet I could get a lot of practice. But I knew I would prefer to be really in to the guy to give him a blow job. Maybe that will change if this sucking thing is as addicting as it seems like it could be.

I held his dick in my mouth for a long time while the rest of his cum sort of oozed out and his erection declined. It made me feel tight and hot inside to hold his dick that way. If he could have had a second orgasm, I would have sucked him again right then. At last I let him go and he laid down beside me. I watched his dick going limp while we were both breathing hard and recovering. His dick was lolling over to the side. I already felt hot inside from sucking him but looking at his dick made me feel even hotter.

"I think I have been unfair to you, not giving you as much pleasure as you have given me. You make me feel great, but I don't reciprocate. I let you go home and take care of yourself. That doesn't seem very gentlemanly."

I smiled. "True. What did you have in mind?"

"You sucked my dick so well, maybe I could reciprocate. I suggest that you let me eat your pussy."

I considered it. I really wanted him to play with me for a while. "You'd be able to enjoy playing with me after your orgasm is done? I hear men's sexual drive disappears pretty fast after they orgasm."

"That's true. I couldn't cum again, not for a while, but I could enjoy you. And I could remember doing it through the rest of the week. I would like to make you feel as good as you made me feel."

"I bet you could make me feel just as good."

"Then, step one, strip for me. Like I did for you that first time. Let's see if you like the exhibitionist experience as much as I do."

That turned me on even more. I was already wet from sucking him off and it sent a thrill through me that he would watch me take off my clothes, that he wanted to watch me, that he was hoping to see me naked. He had seen me naked before but this would be better taking off my bra, letting my panties fall to the floor, all the while watching his eyes as I did it. And then the best part, when he tasted me like I had tasted him. His penis was pretty limp by now but I could remember just how hard it had been a few minutes ago.

I unbuttoned my blouse slowly and let the blouse open up to reveal my bra. It was a black one this time. I had not worn it before. My skirt was buttoned down the side, and I unbuttoned it from the bottom up, letting my leg show as it came apart. When I undid the last button it just fell to the floor. My panties were also black and I loved the way his eyes were eating me up. How much more would his tongue eat me up, I wondered. The bra buttoned in the middle, between my breasts, so as soon as I undid that button it just fell open and he could see my tits. I let it slide off my shoulders and reached down to slide my panties off. That was the most thrilling of all. He had seen my pussy before but somehow this seemed more bold, more ... brazen. I wanted him to see my pussy.

When my panties fell to the floor he just stared at me a while and I thought I saw his dick twitch a little. I wondered if he might get another erection this soon and that made me feel even hotter.

"Now lie down on the bed and spread your legs apart." And I did. He walked to me, between my legs, and knelt down so his face was just a foot or so from my pussy. When he leaned forward and kissed me just above my clitoris it was like I had been shocked and I arched my back to push my pussy up closer to his face. But when his tongue touched my clitoris it was all I could do not to cry out. I have touched myself so many times. I knew what my clit would feel like to be touched but this was way out of that ball park. A man's tongue against your clitoris is just way beyond anything you can do to yourself. His penis had touched my clitoris and rubbed it until I came and that was also beyond the lot of mortals. But this was the best experience my pussy had ever had. What would the orgasm be like? I wanted to grind my pussy into his mouth, into his face. I grabbed his head and pulled him tight against me, like he had done when he came in my mouth.

The next twenty minutes were a constant state of ecstasy. I have never felt anything like it. I wish I were a poet so I could tell you. He would get me very close to orgasm and then back off and let me come back down to earth and then start licking me again. Each time as I got closer and closer I became more audible, from moaning to shouting. I hoped the neighbors couldn't hear but really I just didn't care. "Oh, you've got my pussy! Yes!" He opened his mouth wide like he was enveloping my whole vulva and his tongue never stopped playing with my clitoris. As he felt me getting close to climax, he just let his tongue move barely at all but push harder onto my clit. It was like he was tickling my pussy and that sent me rocketing over the edge.

Never had I had an orgasm like that. Never. I was yelling "Pussy! Pussy! Eat my pussy! Yes!" That orgasm lasted forever. Well it seemed to. It just kept coming, wave after wave, and he would pause with his tongue on me and when an orgasm began to subside, he would push back in and start a new one. At some point, I was just exhausted and had to gently push his head away. We just lay there on the bed naked, with his cheek resting on my pussy. For a long time. Finally I had recovered and moved to get up. It was lucky my curfew had been pushed back to 11 o'clock. We took a shower together and he took me home.

"Well, at least you won't have to masturbate tonight." He was smiling over at me as he drove.

"Are you kidding? Now I will have to masturbate twice. First I will remember every little detail about sucking you off and that will push me over the edge for sure. And second I will remember every little detail about you eating me out and that will get me over again. I'll be lucky to get any sleep at all."

"Wow. You are insatiable, huh?"

"I guess. You've awoken a sex maniac I suppose."

We drove in silence for a while, and then he said, "Well, I am glad for the challenge. But you are going to eventually need a man that can satisfy you better than me and he might be hard to find. Be careful out there."

"You don't have to warn me against bad guys. But I will be careful who I trust. I am really thankful I found you first."

"Me, too."

And so the night ended and I went home to a very wakeful night.

Five

The swirl of social activity that goes with graduating high school swept right by me without doing much damage. I thought about asking Gary to the senior prom, but decided against it. I didn't like dancing and we would have had nothing in common with anyone there. Even my best friends, Linda G and Linda Z (too many Linda's; I called them G and Z and they called me M), didn't have much in common with Gary, and hardly with me any more. My times hooking up with Gary had changed me in ways that I couldn't put my finger on. I was certainly skeptical of the sexual morality I had been raised with. Supposedly, Gary and I had sinned in what we had done, but I couldn't see how that was true. I hadn't hurt Gary in any way. And he hadn't hurt me. In fact, he had rescued me from a bad situation. Where was the evil in anything we had done? I couldn't see it. And try as I might, I didn't see anything in the Bible that condemned us. If "all things are lawful" as Paul said, then I began to seriously doubt that Gary and I had done anything unlawful or bad. but I most emphatically did not talk this over with my parents or our pastor. Sin or not, there would have been scandal and trouble and shaming etc.

Gary and I kept going out regularly as usual, all very innocent and above-board, but we didn't get a chance for any privacy until just before my graduation. It was late May that we both had news for each other. At dinner, this time back at the nice Italian place, Gary told me his big news.

"I have been offered a job with the Chicago Tribune. It is an entry level job, of course, but it is too good an opportunity to pass by."

"Wow! Congratulations. Uh, when does it start?"

"Not until August. I only just got the offer yesterday and I wanted you to be the first to know. I wasn't sure how you would react."

I did an inventory on my feelings. I really liked Gary. I liked seeing him and talking with him. I would definitely miss him, and the sex was very important to me, though it was not as frequent as I wanted. I guess I would classify Gary as my best friend. But I was not in love with him. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with him or get married or anything. I would be sad to not see him, perhaps forever, but my heart would not be broken. Our parting was inevitable. And besides, I had news of my own.

"I think it is a great opportunity and you should definitely go. This is your first big break. How did they ever hear about you, in a little nowhere place like this?"

He laughed. "Nepotism, I guess. I have a cousin who has worked there for years and he put in a good word. And I can stay with him until I get settled." He paused. "I will miss you though. If I can think of any way of seeing you again after this summer, I will take the chance."

"I want to see you again too. I can't tell you how important our relationship has been to me. Six months ago, I had never hooked up with a man, didn't even know of a man that I wanted to hook up with. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. But I was expecting something like this and I won't be crushed. You are my best friend, but I am not head over heels in love with you, and I hope you feel the same?"

"Yes. I am going to be deeply sad but not crushed. Besides, you deserve someone better than me."

"How so? I can't imagine a man better than you. I am so glad you are the first man I hooked up with."

"Well, you need a man with more extensive sexual interests than I have. Really, there are many women who would be happy with an extreme exhibitionist. Not for long, anyway."

"How about an extreme voyeur? That's the woman for you." He laughed at that.

"Perhaps so. I find that I am pretty sexually fulfilled, all things considered. Not that things couldn't be better someday. Perhaps."

"As it turns out, I have news of my own. I just heard I was accepted at a liberal arts college out in Oregon. And they have a degree program in my field of interest that sounds good."

"That is great! I wondered what your plans were. I figured you were applying to colleges but you haven't mentioned anything."

"Yeah, I was afraid I might not get in. I applied to several places, even a junior college that I was sure I could get in. I can't stand the thought of staying at home. My parents are great people and I love them, but I am not a kid anymore and they will always think I am. I will have a curfew until I am 40 if I stay home. Unless I get married. My family is very patriarchal, as you no doubt noticed."

"So did you pick the most distant college you could?"

"No, actually I think I picked the best one that accepted me. I want to study sciences, geology or earth science or planetary science. MIT was not in the cards for me. But now I wish I had applied to the University of Chicago. That is a hard one to get in to though." We paused to order desert. "I do want to be fairly far from home. My parents will not be tempted to meddle too much in my life from a thousand miles away. They are not completely happy with my decision, of course, but I got a big scholarship and there is no financial leverage they have on me."

"I didn't know you were in to the sciences. Somehow I missed that. I had you pegged for the artistic type."

"I do like to draw, but I doubt I have any great talent. I am not very practical, as far as getting into a major that will actually help me get a job. We'll see."

"I think people should pursue what they love. Money is ... a false god, to use an expression your parents would like."

"They would like the expression but they wouldn't say it so strongly. They don't see any harm in a little pursuit of worldly mammon."

"I am glad I have you for a friend. I hope we can see each other, Christmases or summers or sometime."

"Me too."

We were done with our dinner and ready to go to Curly and Moe's place as usual. Gary asked me, "Do you have any particular plans for how we should celebrate the evening?"

"Oddly enough, I don't."

"Well, then, it is my turn to write the plot."

"I can hardly wait." My heart was beating very fast in anticipation. One thing about having sex only once in a month is that you are very much horny by the time you get the chance. When we got to Curly's apartment, Gary took control.

"This time you will be the exhibitionist to begin. Come over to the mirror where you can see your body while I strip you. I want you to watch me watching you. I want you to see your body like I see it."

He posed me in front of a full length mirror than was beside the closet of Curly and Moe's bedroom. Then he began to slowly strip me while I watched. This watching in the mirror idea was so much more exciting than stripping in front of him. I could watch his eyes and see myself and him looking at me. I wonder if a porn star feels like this, and more so, if they look at their own pictures or videos? I wondered if I might like to be a porn star myself but dismissed the idea immediately. I was not ready for that idea. Yet.

Gary stood behind me with his head looking over my left shoulder and slowly unbuttoned my blouse. It was a cotton check print with short sleeves. I had no idea I would enjoy seeing my body slowly exposed. When he had unbuttoned it all the way down, he pulled it apart and over my shoulders and slowly let it fall to the floor. I was wearing a white bra with a clasp in the back. I had expected him to slip off my bra next but instead he let his hands roam over my body starting just beneath my breast, brushing my stomach, and down my legs. That was incredibly erotic, and watching while I felt him was even more so. He reach over and unsnapped by pants, unzipped them, and then pulled them down my legs.

So there I was standing in my underwear and watching him stare at me. My nipples were swelling up and were poking out inside my bra. Then he reached up and grabbed both of my tits in his hands and massaged them. By this time I was barely able to breathe I was so excited. When he had done that for a while he moved his hands to unclasp my bra. It didn't fall off me immediately because of the shoulder straps. He slid the straps over my shoulders but reached around to hold my now loosened bra over both of my tits, and slowly, slowly let the bra fall off and expose me. I was seeing my tits like I had never seen them before. Gary was right when he said my nipples are beautiful, and now I saw them like he did. He let his hands play with my tits while I watch, letting them touch every part of my breast. He moved his forefinger around tracing out the bulge of my breasts. He pinched my nipples gently and sort of rolled them around between his fingers. It made me feel like I wanted him to take my whole body. I wanted to turn around and press him against me and take his penis out and strip off his clothes, but his hands didn't let me turn around. He could tell what I was thinking.

He slid his hands down to my panties and held them clasped together in front of my pussy, just taking in the sight. Then he moved his right hand so he could reach down inside my panties and I felt him cup my pussy in his hand. He was squeezing my vulva and rubbing it and I could barely stand it, it felt so good. After a little of that he moved his hand out and pulled my panties down so I could step out of them. There I was in all my naked glory and I loved it. He rested his right hand on my pussy, rubbing the hair and then he found my clitoris. Very gently he rubbed it with his forefinger, and then he pressed his hand flat against my pussy. And with a shock that went all the way through my body he pushed two fingers inside my vagina.

Nothing had ever been inside my vagina before, except in my imagination. I wanted to fuck him so bad I could hardly stand it. I imagined his fingers were his penis. But fingers can move in ways that a penis can't. He was moving his fingers back and forth, gradually working his way further into me, rubbing in and out and sideways. I watched his fingers grope slowly more deeply into me and then it was like being struck by lightning. He apparently found my G spot. I didn't know it then but now I do. It was like an explosion of pleasure radiating out of my pussy through my whole body. I couldn't speak but I bent forward wanting to take his finger with my pussy. He just kept gently massaging that one little spot inside me and in less time than I would have believed I felt the orgasm washing over me. My whole body was shaking impaled on his fingers. I had my my closed at first just feeling, and when I opened them I could see my body shaking. Especially my tits, which were moving pretty wildly. I understand why men like to watch a woman's titties move.

After the longest orgasm in history, it felt like, we just stood there with his fingers in my pussy. Then he moved them again and I could feel another orgasm building up. It didn't take long. I felt insatiable, like I wanted him to never stop ever, but finally I was exhausted and had to ask him to quit. He took his fingers out of me and I turn around and put my arms around his neck. I think I might have collapsed on the floor if I didn't hold on. He just held me against him and let me get my breath. It felt really cozy holding my naked body against him. When I had recovered a little I leaned my head up to kiss him. I wanted his tongue as far in my mouth as he could go, and vice versa. We kissed for a long time.

"Ah, now you deserve a blow job for that."

"Ah, if you insist, I wouldn't have any objection."

"I can't wait to get your dick out!" I knelt down in front of him and unfastened his pants as fast as I could and pulled them off. And then his underwear. And then I had what I wanted most in the world -- his penis as hard as a rock pointing right at my mouth. This was the second time giving him a blow job and I wanted to pay him back for all the pleasure he had given me. But I couldn't do it. I wanted to take him, I wanted to take him now, as fast as possible. My desire for his cum outweighed all my desire to make him feel good. I wanted to suck him dry as fast as possible.

But I did try to control myself a little. Giving a blow job has a natural speed limit. If you try to hurry too fast you end up hurting the guy. So while I was sliding my tongue all around his dick as eagerly as I could, it was still maybe five or ten minutes before he came. I could feel his balls. I could lick his balls. I could kiss his balls and his dick all the way up to the head and then plunge my mouth around him.

"Let me know when you are just about to cum."

"OK."

I kept licking him all over and taking his dick as far in as possible. The first time I sucked him, his penis was all the way into my mouth, at the back of my mouth, when he came, and I could still remember how that jet of cum felt when it splashed into my throat. But I had a different idea this time. Then I heard Gary moan and whisper out, "I'm about to cum. Now."

I withdrew from his dick and held it in my right hand to keep rubbing the head of his dick. And I closed my eyes just in time. The first jet of his cum hit my eyelid and slowly ran down my cheek. Then the second jet hit just below my other eye and a third hit my nose. And then a fourth hit my mouth, which was slightly open. My face was just covered with cum. And just to make sure it was, I reached up with my unoccupied hand and sort of smeared his cum around. I could lick the cum that was near my mouth, but I wanted it all and I wanted it all over. It was glorious. I had been wondering for a few months now if I would mind having a guy cum on my face. Now I knew.

I had not taken any of Gary's clothes completely off so he was fully dressed when we were done and I was still naked. I was reluctant to get dressed. It was just fun to be naked with Gary. Maybe I have a lot of the exhibitionist inclinations too. I wanted to take a shower before Gary took me home, and asked him if he wanted to take one with me.

"I think I will just watch you take a shower, if that's OK. I would like to."

"Absolutely." And so I took a nice shower and Gary watched me through the glass door. I want to explore more of this exhibitionist thing in the future. We had a little over two months together before we'd be each moving away. I wanted to make the most of the time.

When Gary dropped me off, my parents hadn't even bothered to wait up for me. They were pretty confident of my good behavior by now, though as you readers can see they shouldn't have been.

Six

And so I graduated high school. Gary was busy with arrangements to start his new job and move to Chicago, and it was a disappointingly long time before we could get together again. We didn't even get to go to dinner as much as we had been. Then I had a lunch date with Gary on a Tuesday, right after he got back from a trip up to Chicago. We were to meet at diner which was right across the street from a print shop. My mom had given me the errand of printing up some church bulletins for their big Independence Day picnic. I think Independence Day is a bigger celebration at our church than either Easter or Christmas. It seems a little odd.

Anyway, I went in to the print shop to get the copies made. The guy in charge there was this six foot tall guy, big muscles, and no hair on his head at all. He looked like Mr. Clean from the old TV commercials except without the earring. He was a very pleasant guy, maybe 30 years old. I always enjoyed coming to the print shop just because of him., and maybe thirty years old. As he was doing my printing, Gary happened to come in. First he greeted me and then he greeted the bald guy as Brennen.

He turned to me. "So you come here often?"

"Yes, And Brennen is one of my best friends. So now you have met Curly."

I looked blank. Gary just smiled and looked at the bald guy and I finally realized he meant that the bald guy was Curly.

"Brennen, this is Linda, whom I have told you so much about." Curly smiled and reached out to shake my hand. "I'm glad to meet you Linda. Any friend of Gary is a friend of mine. And since you are such a special friend, this printing is on the house."

"Well, uh, thank you. I am glad to meet you." His voice was the deepest bass voice I had ever heard. I wondered if he could get up high enough to sing a bass line in the choir. My mind went totally blank and I tried desperately to think of something to say. "You have a very nice apartment." He smiled even wider.

"I'm glad you ... enjoyed it." He could tell I was blushing. Obviously he knew all about what Gary and I had been doing in his apartment, in his bed, while he was away. But he just smiled and turned to another customer. It was such a surprise to identify the nice guy at the print shop. I was suddenly struck with an image of Curly, Brennen, giving Gary a blow job. That was the only thing I actually knew about Curly.

"It's because he shaves his head that I call him Curly. Moe works in the back. Too bad he didn't come out for something so I could introduce you."

"Wow."

"I know what you're thinking. How a guy who looks like that could be gay. People are full of surprises."

That was not what I was thinking. He must have forgotten that he had told me about the blow job. "Wow!" was all I said

Gary and I went across the street to get our lunch. We hadn't seen each other in several weeks and I was hoping there would be more time to have sex.

"Only one more trip to Chicago and then I am taking the whole month of July off before I hit the gainfully employed routine. Will you be around during July?"

"Yes! I was hoping we could spend some ... quality time together."

"Well, Curly and Moe will be away day after tomorrow. How does that suit you?"

"Excellent. I have been waiting eagerly for another chance to get you." We placed our order and then I brought up my big news. "Are you free on Saturday night next week."

"Yes, but I think Curly and Moe won't be away anymore after this weekend."

"That's OK because I have a plan. It's a going away surprise for you."

"Oh, yeah? You have already given me the best presents there are."

"You mentioned once that you fantasize about being naked in a whole room full of women."

"Yes."

"Do you really think you would like that?"

"Yes. I don't see how the opportunity would ever come up, though. I fantasize about it ... when I'm alone and masturbating sometimes."

"Well, what if I could make your dreams come true?"

He actually blushed. "How could you do that?"

"My girlfriends and I, Linda G and Linda Z, and some of their cousins from out of town, and maybe some others are going to have a girl's only graduation party in a few weeks.. I could tell them that I know a male stripper we could get for the party."

Gary was about as surprised as he could have been. "Uh, wow! That sounds like something I would really want but It sounds risky. Like the kind of risky that would lose me my job before I get it."

"I don't think it is dangerous at all. None of them know you and the ones from out of town are from further south. There's no Chicago connection. G and Z don't know you. And if you did come as a male stripper, they sure wouldn't blab to their parents. Or anyone else in this area. Societal norms are fierce dictators. I could make them take a vow of secrecy if you want but this is a conservative area. None of them could face the scandal. Z's parents are going on a Caribbean cruise for a week and leaving her home alone since she is now a responsible adult."

He looked thoughtful. "I would love to do it. If it is really safe. It would be a dream come true. I don't know how a stripper is supposed to behave, though. I don't dance. I might not be very much like what they would expect."

"Not that any of them would know what to expect from a male stripper. I'll explain it so they will expect only what you are comfortable with. I think having you there naked would cancel any disappointments they might have. We are all just small town country girls, after all."

"I am both terrified and excited." We ate in silence for a while. "All of the girls are over 18?"

"Yes. We are all just graduating. I am probably the youngest one of them."

"Well, before I chicken out, go ahead and set it up. That's the weekend before the Fourth, isn't it?"

"Yep. There will be some fireworks at Z's house!" I grinned at him wickedly.

The next Thursday we had oral sex again. He ate me out so thoroughly I was exhausted, but once I had recovered I gave him an equally thorough blow job. And all during that week I was fantasizing about my scheme for the graduation party. I lost no time broaching the idea with Z and G. They were inviting friends and cousins who were not in our school district so it all seemed safe. Z's parents would be in the Virgin Islands (which seemed ironic to me) and conveniently they had invited

G's parents along. At first they were nervous about leaving us alone, but both Z and G had good summer jobs and they let themselves be persuaded. We would have Z's house to ourselves. Z's parents were very lax with her and trusted her. That's Episcopalians for you.

"So, Z, I have a pretty wild idea for this party, if you think the others would go along with it."

"LOL. They go along with anything I say. You know that."

"Well, I can get us a male stripper if you want."

"OMG! OMFG!" (that is the closest Z ever got to swearing). "You're kidding! Where did you ever meet a stripper?"

"It is a long story. He is not a professional, but he likes to do that sort of thing when he gets a chance. He's never had an audience as big as we will be and I think he's excited about it. How many of us will there be?"

"Ten, I think. OMG! The girls will go wild when they hear about this. I can just see G's face! LOL OMG!." She paused a bit and then looked worried. "How much does he charge?"

"This he will do for free, I think."

"That seems strange. Does he owe you a favor or something? Have you two been up to some HANKY PANKY?!! LOL."

"No. No. It is not a favor or anything. He just gets a thrill out of doing this kind of thing and like I said, he is not a professional."

"Wait till I tell G. Tell him definite yes! I'm sure I can get the other girls on board."

"Now we have got to keep this quiet. No one in town or anywhere else can know anything about it. I could get in so much trouble and so could G and the others."

"Don't worry. I can keep a secret, especially one like this. You tell the guy -- what's his name?"

"Uh," had to improvise, "Uh, Jason. Jason Garrison."

"Why is nearly every guy named Jason?"

"Why is nearly every girl named Linda, for that matter?"

"LOL. Right. I will go and start organizing things. We'll have beer too." She got a roguish look on her face. "And maybe something better! LOL. See you later." She began walking away and then turned around.

And so things were set in motion. I told Gary that I had given his name as Jason Garrison and that everything was set up. I could tell he was nervous. This was feeding his fetish in a way he had only hoped for someday. It was pretty easy to arrange an overnight with Z and G with my parents, even on a Saturday night as long as I promised to be at church the next day. I did over nights with them periodically during the summer. My parents knew about Gary's job in Chicago and thought he was still out of town. They were disappointed. They were imagining wedding bells. In their view, the proper place for a Christian woman was married and getting pregnant. They weren't very happy with my college plans but figured there'd be a few Christian men in Oregon.

As a clandestine operation, Gary could not drive me to the party. Z came to get me as usual. Gary -- or Jason as I will now call him -- would arrive on his own about an hour into the party. When Z and I got there the beer was already out and a few girls were drinking. I knew most of them, from last summer, but there were three I didn't know, G's cousins from out of state. One of the ones I didn't know was a very quiet blonde girl, whose name was Miriam. She didn't seem uncomfortable or anything, just shy perhaps. She hardly spoke during the whole party. Z offered me a beer but I didn't want to miss anything. I knew I could not handle alcohol. When I insisted on a Dr. Pepper she pouted. "Do you know how much I had to connive to get beer? This was hard work. And you want Dr. Pepper? Oh, I know! Maybe my parents rum is findable. Want a little additive."

"No, no, I will have my Dr. Pepper straight, and on the rocks, thank you." She was smirking this time.

"It's just because you are the youngest one here. My cousins all turned 20. You're too young to drink, aren't you?".

"I'll have you know I am almost 18 and a half!" She just went away smirking but I saw that several of the other girls were drinking soda as well, though maybe Z had spiked their drinks. There were nachos and watermelon and cheese and crackers and Detroit style pizza with the pineapple, and lots of stuff. I was mostly anxious, waiting for Gary -- uh, Jason. Besides hoping it would go well for him, I was looking forward to watching him strip. I had seen him naked many times now and I wanted to see him naked again and this seemed like a much more exciting situation to watch him.

When Gary arrived about an hour into the party, a lot of the girls were pretty tipsy. I don't think anyone was totally drunk, but they were starting to feel it. I would have been passed out by now. Z welcomed Jason into the party, giggling the whole time. I had warned him that Z was a giggler. "OMG! I am so looking forward to seeing more of you!" Giggle.

"Well, me too!" Jason looked nervous but excited, eager. "So where do you want me?"

"Oh, over there by the couch. We'll pull the drapes so the neighbors can't watch!" Giggle. "You can have a drink first to relax a bit."

"No, I want to have all my faculties. Enjoy the moment."

Z giggled. "We will too!" Giggle. I think Z was more nervous than Jason. When she brought Jason into the living room and closed the drapes, the girls all gathered around. Some pulled up chairs to sit and others stood around. They were all looking at Jason and he loved it. I could see through his pants that an erection was beginning, just in anticipation.

Jason cleared his throat. "Uh, well I guess I'll begin." He took off a sport coat and shoes and socks first, and put them neatly at the end of the couch. He was in no hurry. He wanted all the eyes to follow his every move and he wanted it to last. He unbuttoned his shirt slowly, untucked it, and took it off, folded it and put it with his coat. Then he unbuckled his pants and unzipped them, letting them slowly fall to the floor. Now he was just standing there for us in his underwear. Well, it was actually those swimming trunks swimmers wear, the kind that display the outline of everything within them. They weren't made to hold an erect penis and could barely contain Jason's erection, though I knew from experience he wasn't full erect yet. Some of the girls opened their eyes so wide they hardly had eyebrows. Some of them had possibly never seen a naked man. Even with porn so easily available, we were out in the sticks and in a conservative area, daughters of vigilant parents.

Now Jason stretched out the swimming trunks in front of him to give room to slide them down over his penis. He was doing it slowly to tease them. They could just glimpse the tip of his dick. After a second's pause, he pulled them down and stood before us in all his glory. Jason has a beautiful body. That is, he is not a model but he was beautiful like a naked man ought to be. His dick was pointed straight out, and he rotated his body so that he was facing each one there in turn. For once Z had no giggles. She was literally staring at Jason's dick with all her concentration. All of them were.

Jason cleared his throat again. "Uh, I believe that part of my show here is to masturbate for you all. As you can see, I need to." He smiled. "I don't want to rush things though. Do you want to get more refreshments or whatever, before I, uh, finish the show?"

About half of the girls were thinking about more beer. "I will join you if you like." Jason meant to go to the table with them naked as he was. On hearing this, a lot of the girls who were sitting stood up and began to move toward the table. But none of them could take their eyes off Jason. He walked over toward the table and was beginning to take some nachos, standing between two girls I didn't know. They could hardly believe they were standing beside a naked man. The other girls all came in and stood around the table so they could see.

Jason was really enjoying this. His dick was as erect as I had ever seen it. "Uh, you can touch it if you want to." A lot of the mouths opened and didn't close soon. Miriam, the girl who never spoke, was across from Jason and tentatively reached across the table and grabbed his dick in her hand. Her face looked like she was in awe, wondering if she could really be doing this. The girl to his right pushed her hand away and said, "My turn." and took his dick in her hand. Some of them cupped his balls. As people milled around I think everyone took their turn touching Jason's dick. Z touched him twice, and giggled both times before she did.

"Well, I hope you all enjoyed that as much as I did. Perhaps I should do the last part of the show now. Gather around and sit as close as you like. If you get too close, of course, you might get splashed." I think Z was beginning to get pretty close to drunk. As Jason was about to start, she giggled and said, "I would really like to suck your cock!" Some of the girls were shocked, though by now it would seem like anything went. Jason was surprised. "Uh, if you are sure, then it is OK with me." Then several other girls said, "Me too."

Jason was startled but pleased. "Well, ladies, I may not have enough cum for all of you, but you can get a start."

Z suddenly exclaimed. "I have a great idea! Let's play Russian Roulette! Or not Russian Roulette. It would be Porno Roulette. Those who want to can take Jason's cock in their mouths for a minute at a time. Eventually someone will win the game and get it all! Any one? If that is OK with Jason, of course." You could tell by his face that it was definitely OK with him.

There were five other girls who wanted to play Porno Roulette, as Z named it. I didn't volunteer, though. I had already taken his cum in my mouth and thought I would let the other girls get to enjoy him. Instead I volunteered to be the timer to make sure no girl sucked him longer than her allotted time. Jason hardly knew what to think except he had to take advantage of this. "The main rule then is no teeth. Remember I am a little delicate."

The six girls lined up with Z taking the last spot, probably calculating she'd be more likely to get the reward. To my surprise G was in the line up. She is usually the more reserved of us three Linda's. The five of us not in line were seated close enough that we could see everything. Jason turned to the side so that we could all see his dick as each one sucked him in.

The first girl, one that I hadn't met before, seemed to know what she was doing. She sucked his cock all the way in. It was impressive. She swirled her tongue all around his dick. You could tell by the look on his face just how much he was enjoying it. You could tell she had had some experience doing this. I almost thought he would cum for the first girl and she was trying her best. But no luck. I called the time and G was second. She was a lot more tentative. She got most of his dick in her mouth and look surprised at herself. She sort of sucked him in and let him out, and repeated the process. The third girl was Miriam, the silent one. She took her turn kneeling in front of Jason and spent several seconds just staring at his dick. Then she licked its tip, and then licked it again more vigorously and finally sucked it a good way into her mouth. There were two other girls after Miriam, cousins I had met the previous summer. They were also pretty tentative about the whole thing. The second one, Abby I think, was so tentative I thought she might not get his dick into her mouth at all before the time ran out. And then Z of course. She was the most eager of all. She really wanted that cum. But I think she was too aggressive and made him uncomfortable. It was like she was trying to suck pudding out of a garden hose.

We went all the way around the circle of suckers twice. Again, I thought the first girl might push him over the edge, she was that good. I watched the way she played with his dick and then at his face and decided I would try some of her techniques the next time I got a chance. Jason was looking pretty close by the time we started the third round.. I had seen that look before. "I am getting close to cumming now. Just be warned that I am close."

The blonde closed in, I will call her the Candy because she looked like she had lengthy experience with blow jobs. Jason's dick was like candy to her. She gave it her best shot, and though you could tell Jason was really close he was still not over the top. G was the second girl, and I really thought she was going to get it all, but she was still too hesitant. If she had been a little more vigorous I think she would have gotten it, but Jason still didn't cum. Perhaps G's technique was not the right one to push him over the edge. She wasn't using her tongue right, maybe. Miriam came next. It was obvious she couldn't read the signs. Despite Jason's warning I don't think she expected she would be the winner. This was her third time and she pushed her mouth as far over his dick as she could and then withdrew nearly all the way and that was when he came. Jason groaned and his first ejaculation caught Miriam completely by surprise. The cum of his first ejaculation filled her mouth and surprise her so much that she jerked her head back. The second ejaculation hit her face, just under her nose and dripped down to join the cum that was dripping out of her mouth. Jason grabbed his dick when he felt her back off and finished the work himself. The third ejaculation was still pretty big and hit her leg just above the knee and partly got on her shorts too. And then the rest of his orgasm ebbed and dripped down on to the rug. The girl still wasn't sure what to do with the cum in her mouth. She was just holding it with her mouth partly open, eyes wide.

When Jason noticed her he smiled and said, "Don't worry. You can swallow it if you want or spit it out. It's up to you."

She didn't say anything, but gradually let cum run out between her lips and swallowed some of it. She still looked shocked, like she didn't quite believe what had just happened. Possibly partly drunk. Jason reached over to where he had set the nachos he had carried in from the table and handed her the napkin. When she had cleaned herself off he wiped up the semen from her leg and the rug and took the napkin over to the trash. I think cum was still dripping occasionally from his dick when he walked over.

Z was so disappointed she didn't get the prize, but she managed to keep her usual cheerful demeanor. "I hope you can stay around for a while Jason, even though you have given us everything we were hoping for." Giggles, of course.

Jason's erection was flagging quickly now. "I'll hang around a little while and eat something if you don't mind." And he did hang around for a half hour or so, and didn't get dressed that whole time. He was using the opportunity for all it was worth. I went over to him a few minutes later and took his dick in my hands. I knew he would want me to, and I wanted to show the other girls that it was still OK to touch him. Every once in a while over the next half hour some girl or other would go over to him and fondle him. After a while, Miriam, who won the prize, went over to him, knelt down in front of him, and just stared for a long time at his dick. Finally she stood up and said, "Thank you," and blushed and walked away. I'm not sure what to make of that. But I felt grateful the time I swallowed him, even though it was mostly for his pleasure and not mine.

After the half hour Jason -- or I can start calling him Gary now -- went in to the couch and put his clothes back on. He just glanced at me with a look of gratitude in his eyes that I hoped no one noticed. We were still pretending to not know each other. Z escorted him to the door.

"Thank you for... for your show, Jason. I loved it."

"Thank you too. For the opportunity. I enjoyed it more than you did, I bet."

"Perhaps we can call you again for a return engagement." Giggles.

"Sure. I will be out of the area a lot, but I'm sure you could reach me eventually." He wrote down a number on a piece of paper.

"Do you do, uh," giggle, "private showings?"

He raised both eyebrows. "As a matter of fact, I do. Just give me a call sometime." And then he left. The party wound down into the usual party stuff. Too many of the girls drank too much and someone played records and a few danced. And too many of the girls ate too much and someone suggested we rent a porn movie and someone else said that real life was better than any porn we could rent. They ended up watching "Jerry Maguire" I think, but I left early instead of staying overnight. I hate parties anyway. I don't know how it all wound down. The usual I suspect. My parents were a bit surprised that I got home by 10:30 (I had called a cab rather than take Z away from her people.) But we all sat around and watched "The Princess Bride" which I have seen at least a dozen times. It doesn't get old. I stayed up late with my parents since I would be leaving for college soon and wanted to give them as much of my time as I could. The were weird parents but they did their best and I owed them.

Seven

The summer was wearing out; July would be our last full month together. Gary was taking the month off from everything and I didn't have anything to do but pack so we planned to spend a lot of time together. I had been thinking a lot about our relationship, how I felt, but more importantly I had been thinking about theology. I still believed the Bible, but the more I thought about it and the more I thought about what we had done together during the last six months, the more I was convinced that what I had been taught about the Bible's view of sex was all wrong. I had made at least one firm decision.

It was shortly after my present/surprise party for Gary and we were having lunch together after church services were over. When the lunch came I decided to come right out with it. "I want you to fuck me."

He had a spoon of soup half way to his mouth and just stopped and looked at me for a second. Then he said, "Are you sure? I know this is something you take very seriously. Religiously. I don't want you to do anything you are not totally sure about."

"But if I am sure, you would be ... interested?"

"Yes! Of course! I just don't want you to have regrets. Later. We may not see each other again for a long time."

"That's the reason I want to do this. We've done just about everything we could possibly do, except intercourse. Technically I am still a virgin, though I don't believe that means anything at this point. But I will lose my 'virginity' someday, and I want it to be with you. You are more important to me than you can know. I don't want to lose this chance."

"What about when you meet someone you want to marry? You don't think you'll regret not saving your virginity for him?"

"No, I don't think I will have regrets. And besides, what are the chances he'll save his virginity for me? Not likely I think. There's a double standard working, you know? In the purity culture."

We were silent for a while, and then Gary went on. "OK, then. There are two surprises I have for you that are relevant to how we plan this rendezvous."

"Yes?"

"Yes. First of all, Curly and Moe are not going out of town this whole month, which is almost unfortunate. What makes it fortunate is that they are willing to lend me a key to their apartment. We can go there any weekday while they are at work."

"Wow! That is great! So we could hook up every day for the rest of our time together!"

"Yes. That's certainly what I am hoping."

I was so excited I hardly could speak. Then Gary went on with something even more unexpected.

"They have a ... favor to ask so I told them I would run it by you to see what you think."

"Yes?"

"They have a bunch of friends who are kind of wild. At least wild for this little town. Some night Curly and Moe would like us to have sex with an audience. And by some night, they mean Tuesday night. If you are willing."

My mouth just hung open, like a cartoon character. This would take some getting used to. How would I feel about having sex with Gary with strangers watching? Part of me said no and part of me said yes. To this point Gary was the only one who had seen me naked. What would it feel like to strip in front of a bunch of people? It was scary. All my insecurities came to the fore. What would they say about how I looked? Would they judge my body? How could they not?

But I suppose it was that part of my character that made me go to the bar alone the day after my 18th birthday that turned the tide. I was still afraid, but suddenly I really wanted to do it.

"What if I say no?"

"Then they will be disappointed, of course. But no problem. I think they sort of expect you to say no."

But I was terrified. And excited. That's the closest I've come to being multiple personality. I was afraid, embarrassed, but also ... sort of lusting to do it. There was a thrill in thinking about a bunch of strangers looking at me. On the other hand, this wouldn't just be stripping for them. It would be having sex, letting Gary fuck me, while they watched. That made me feel sort of sick, but I couldn't tell if it was sick fear or sick anticipation. Was I perhaps an exhibitionist too? I began to suspect that I might be and this was a good chance to find out.

Finally all I managed to say was, "OK."

Gary was totally surprised. His face was immobile but after a few seconds he smiled with his whole body.

"Look, Linda, if you are sure I would love for us to do this. But understand that if you have second thoughts and want to back out, I will cancel it. Even the last minute. I want you to be cool with this and never regret anything."

"It makes me scared, but also like I really want to do it. Assuming I don't come to my senses... let's say I'll do it."

"Great! As you can imagine with my particular inclinations, I find it exciting. But you don't know Curly and Moe and their friends as well as I do. They'll be strangers to you."

"Actually that will make it easier. I don't think I could do it if some of my friends came."

I mulled it over for a while and then an idea popped into my mind. "Have you had sex with any of these people?"

Gary blushed. "Well, yes. They knew I liked to ... show off. Sometimes when I took off my clothes, one or other of them would give me a blow job. Once a hand job. One time one of the women wanted me to fuck her. So I am ... used to what happens."

"How many are there?"

"There would be three other couples, so eight total."

"Both men and women?"

"Yes. There is a lesbian couple, and the other two couples are straight."

I tried to picture what it would be like, having these people watch me and Gary fuck. But imagining it just made me feel confused.

"If we do this, and I still think we should, let's do the whole deal. I want to get the whole exhibitionist experience."

"OK."

"The point is that I want you to take my virginity. You are special to me in a way no other man has ever been and I am ready to have intercourse with you. I want you to be the first to fuck me."

We were silent for a while. I could tell Gary was almost overwhelmed by my offer. How many men would be overwhelmed by that kind of offer? Or even have a clue what that kind of offer would mean? Or would hesitate to make sure the woman was really ready?

"Well, Curly and Moe are hoping we will do our thing day after tomorrow. You don't have much time for second thoughts but I will set it up tentatively."

"Let's not see each other tomorrow. Then on Tuesday I'll have had time to think about it more clearly."

"OK then. They have already set up their get together. Normally it would be me to do the ... entertainment. We'll use the usual cover story for your parents?"

"Yes. They are still hoping we will get engaged, so if we spend a lot of time together they will be delighted."

As I expected, my parents were glad when I told them Gary would be around the rest of the month, and that we planned to see each other a lot. Gary cam by to pick me up early with a picnic basket and everything. And we headed straight over to Curly and Moe's place

"Nervous?" Gary was a little concerned that I might not be up for this.

"Yes! Yes, I am! But I think I am still more eager than nervous."

"I am really looking forward to it. You are the only woman I have ever fantasized about fucking. This is like a first time for me too, in a way."

That made me feel all hot inside. I didn't think of myself as being beautiful, particularly. I didn't have the giant breasts men seem to like -- most men at least, and my nose was too large, and so on and so on. Every woman has learned to be her own worst critic by the time she is sixteen. And what a waste it is. When we got to the apartment, everyone was already there. The two lesbians were Brenda, who was a blonde with large breasts, the sort I could imagine doing porn. She was very nice to me and tried to say calming things. She obviously knew I was a virgin. Her partner was Cassie. She had very short hair, almost a masculine cut, also with large breasts and a slim waist. One of the straight couples was Jason (of course!) and Jennifer. They were married, to each other. He was the outdoorsy type and I later learned he was a contractor. Jennifer was small with dirty blonde hair and nice breasts, not overly large. I thought she was very pretty. They were also friendly and calming but the way Jason looked at me openly stripping me with his eyes seemed odd. The other couple was Zachary and Millie. They were a bit older, maybe in their thirties, not married but had been together for years. Millie looked like a stereo-typical housewife of that age and Zachary worked in an office somewhere. This time it was Millie who seemed to be stripping me with her eyes. I would describe them as middle class and boring. Except they were in this group, so they were adventurous in some ways at least. And then there were Curly and Moe (I still didn't know Moe's real name.). Everyone was very friendly and introduced themselves and tried to make me comfortable. I noticed that a bed had been moved into the living room space and the furniture had been moved back against the wall. They would all be sitting around us in a semi-circle while we fucked. None of them treated me like they thought I was a whore or a slut. They were just friendly.

Gary came over to me. "How do you want to do this? What will make you feel most natural?"

"Nothing will make me feel exactly natural. But you are the experienced one. You take the lead and I will just go with the flow."

"OK. Then I will start by undressing you. You'll get the full exhibitionist experience. Since you are a virgin, I think that it will go best if I eat you out first. Since you haven't done this before, it could hurt a little, and you might bleed a little, but I will take it slow." They could all hear Gary. He wasn't whispering. Whatever words we said were really part of the show. "Oh, I brought a condom, just so you'll know."

Then he started uu-buttoning my shirt, slowly, standing behind me. I was wearing a red bra and panties and he just gradually uncovered them. I was wearing blue jeans and he slid them down my legs like he enjoyed every moment. I kicked them away, very conscious of all eight pairs of eyes looking at me. "Just concentrate on me. Forget about them unless they turn you on by watching."

"I will try."

"I will try to make it impossible for you to not concentrate on me. Ready? Let's show everyone how beautiful your titties are." And he unsnapped my bra and let it slowly slide forward off my breasts with sixteen eyes staring at my tits. My nipples are right in the centers of my breasts and were so hard. They are dark enough that it is hard to look away. Gary moved around and knelt in front of me and took my left nipple into his mouth, swirled his tongue around and then sucked it in. He nearly sucked my whole breast into his mouth. It felt so good I wrapped my arms around his head and hugged him against me. He kept on sucking until he switched his attention to my right breast. When he started playing with my titties, the outside world began to melt away. It felt glorious. Every few seconds I would again realize the staring people were still there, but most of my mind was on what Gary was doing. If it feels this good just having a man sucking my tits, what was it going to feel like to be fucked? When he eventually back off everyone could see how hard my nipples were. I heard Brenda whisper loudly to Cassie, "She is really getting off on this!" and Cassie whispered back, "Me too!"

Gary looked up into my eyes. "And now let's show them the rest of your body." Still kneeling in front of me he pulled my panties off. My pussy was right in front of his face, and he started kissing all around my pussy, all over the hair and the vulva. And then he found my clitoris with his tongue. I couldn't help but gasp out loud. I grabbed his head and held him tightly to my pussy. I wanted this to go on forever.

Shortly he stood up and held my hands above my head and turned me all the way around. He was showing all of my body to all of them but I was only thinking about how his tongue had felt on my clitoris. I always enjoy touching myself, and I had really enjoyed the time he had rubbed his dick on my clitoris, but nothing was like the way his tongue felt when someone else was watching. I felt them all staring at me and I felt hot all over.

He laid me down on the bed and I spread my legs open for him so that everyone could see. I felt his eyes on me and I saw the look in his eyes as he swallowed me up with them. Then he laid down between my legs so that he was sucking my breasts again, paying special attention to the nipples, flicking his tongue over them and squeezing them between his thumb and forefinger. He kissed all over my breasts and his stomach was pushing against my vulva. Then slowly he kissed his way down my stomach to my pussy. It made me feel like I would explode with anticipation. Hurry on down there, dammit! Take my pussy with your tongue! While his tongue slowly moved toward my pussy, he raised his arms and each hand squeezed a breast. The whole time he was eating me out, his hands were massaging my breasts or squeezing my nipples between a thumb and forefinger.

Gary took my pussy with his tongue completely. He licked me all over, down there. The pleasure was so great I couldn't even tell exactly where his tongue was. My pussy became the center of the universe. It was like a star going nova. It got hotter and hotter and I knew it was about to explode. And then it did. I completely lost control of my body. I think I was screaming something and convulsing. I think I was jerking my pussy toward his mouth so hard it nearly knocked him off once. I don't know. Somewhere deep down I knew that there were people watching me but I just didn't care. The experience just swept me along and I had no control. All of the universe was concentrated in my pussy.

He let me come down from the orgasm gradually and then stood up. "Now I will fuck you, Linda." I could see his dick was already as hard as it could get and I wanted to watch him take it out of his pants. He took off all his clothes, but not slowly like he did usually. He pulled off his clothes like he was eager, like he could hardly wait to fuck me. In seconds he was standing there naked with his dick all ready to go and eager for action. My pussy must have been very wet, from his saliva and from my juices.

Gary picked up his pants to get out the condom. "Don't" I heard myself say. He looked a question at me.

"Don't use a condom. I'm on the pill and I want to feel your semen inside me. I want to carry your semen inside me when I leave for Oregon.."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Yes. Just fuck me right now. I want you to fuck me. I want to remember everything about how it feels to be fucked."

He tossed the condom away and knelt down between my legs and looked down at me lying naked under him. "I will go slowly. Tell me if it hurts."

He pushed his penis a very short way into my vagina and then pulled it out. Then he pushed back in a little further and pulled it back out. Over and over, each time he was further inside me until he had his whole penis buried inside me. When he started pushing his dick into me it did hurt a little, just a little, but then it just felt glorious. I had just never felt anything like his dick inside me. His fingers inside me were great but nothing like his dick. Then he began slowly pulling back out and pushing in again. Every time he pushed into my pussy it felt like -- like hot steel inside me. That's silly but that is the closest I can get to describing it. When he saw that I wasn't in pain he increased his speed, in and out, in and out, and every time I was closer to cumming again. He was trying to take it slow but I could tell he was barely able to keep himself from cumming.

"Go ahead, if you can't wait. Just go ahead and do it. Fuck me. Fuck me right now." Now he started moving much more quickly and I could feel his whole dick inside me, I could feel that he was about to explode.

And then he did explode inside me. I could feel a hot jet of his semen shoot into me. Then he pulled back a little and plunged in again hard and there was another jet of semen. And then another and another. I could feel everything. Finally he was exhausted, and he collapsed on top of me and we were kissing as passionately as we had ever kissed. His dick was still in me, and I think he was trying to put his tongue as far in my mouth as his dick was in my vagina.

This is what will always now make masturbation less satisfying. The feel of his penis inside me was great, but the feel of his orgasm, that semen squirting out inside me -- that was the best part of being fucked. Besides my own orgasm which came before the fucking this time. But getting his semen in me -- if I had to do without my own orgasm, getting his orgasm would still be totally worth it. Not quite as good, of course, but pretty close to as good.

We were both exhausted. "Gary."

"Yes."

"You fucked me."

"Yes. I did fuck you."

"That was about as thorough a fuck as could possibly happen."

"I was trying."

"Now I am actually not a virgin anymore."

He gradually withdrew his dick and we just lay there side by side, letting the gang look at us. Now it was over I realized that I sort of enjoyed people watching us. Maybe I should be a porn star? Then the audience started applauding. I had actually forgotten about them. Should I be embarrassed? I didn't know. I didn't care. I had Gary's semen in me and I didn't care about anything else. I gradually became more aware of the outside world. When I first tried to sit up is when I noticed the little bit of blood between my legs. It wasn't much but it bothered me. Gary was ready. He had a cold wet washcloth and he held it against my pussy and wiped up the blood.

The audience gradually stood up and Moe began organizing the dinner, buffet style. Eventually Gary and I stood up. I went to get my clothes but Gary touched my hand. "Let's keep our clothes off. After all, they've seen everything. We might as well."

That sounded exactly like Gary. I just smiled and said "OK". We walked into the dining room to join the dinner party. I felt glad to still be naked, not embarrassed at all or self-conscious. In a few minutes I felt some wetness between my legs and looked down and realized some of Gary's semen was dripping back out. I wasn't sure what to do so I grabbed a napkin and wiped it off my thigh. Jennifer came over and hugged me. "You were great, honey. And you are so beautiful." Then Jason came over and wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. I could feel he had an erection. Then he kissed me hard, which I thought was kind of nervy but I didn't resist. As they were walking away, Jennifer said, "When Jason and I get home we are going to fuck like bunnies remembering you." I just smiled. I had never been complimented like that before. Later on Cassie hugged me as well. Eventually, everyone in the group hugged me. It was nice feeling my naked body against each one of them.

And so began my last few weeks with Gary. We haven't seen each other since then but my memory of him is just as vivid and important to me as ever. I hear he was quite a success with the newspaper and as a side job he was occasionally getting a gig doing porno roulette. He fucked me ten times before I left for Oregon. And I sucked him several times as well. I have indelible memories of his body.

Then he drove away. I went back inside where my parents were waiting, looking out the windows as we said good bye, noting that we didn't kiss each other good bye. We had said good bye with way more than a kiss..

My dad just said, "You're going to miss him, aren't you Linda?"

"Yes, I am dad. I really am."

"Well, get some rest. Church early tomorrow morning."

"I'll be ready. Do you know what the sermon will be about?"

"Uh, David and Bathsheba I think."

I smiled. "Good night mom, Good night dad."

More than likely there will be other men in my life, men who will also fuck me. If I find another man who is worthy of fucking me. But remembering this experience, and I would look back on it always, I just had a strong sense that it was good, that it was right. I have never regretted having sex with Gary.