The Last Post

[Authors note: This is longer than my previous stories, but it is complete. Let me know what you think of this format in the comments.]

Episode 1 - Could I stand a quiet life?

My story starts when I took early retirement early from an international investment bank. Regulation and new technology had taken the joy out of what should have been a people job, so I called it a day. Our two grown-up sons were working abroad and having too much fun to get married, so without family ties to bind us, we left London and moved to a tiny village near the Dorset coast. The location was perfect; about forty chocolate box cottages and houses in the lanes around the village green. We boasted two pubs, the village hall, a church, and the post office/convenience store. It was the last of these that changed my life.

After unpacking for a few days, we'd run out of food. We planned to go out the day before, but having got the bedroom sorted my wife Janice surprised me by suggesting we christen the bed. I usually instigated sex, but the move seemed to recharge her batteries. When she said, "David, fuck me at the end of the bed," who was I to say no? I'd forgotten how good sex with Janice still was. My wife is five foot four, blond, petite, with boobs that look too big for her body, but are all natural. When we met thirty years ago, I could not get enough of her, but time dulls the passions and I am easily distracted.

My work took me abroad often, and I confess curiosity led me to sample hookers from most countries I'd visited. Some people seek out the local cuisine for cultural comparisons; my appetites were more carnal. I took precautions and convinced myself it was just a safe way to stimulate a jaded appetite; rather than follow the example of colleagues who had taken up office romances with disastrous consequences. Perhaps with Janice rejuvenated, I would not miss my hobby.

I woke on Sunday morning to find Janice's hand on my cock, from which she'd coaxed a sizable erection. "I wondered when you would join us?" she said. Before I could answer, she swung a leg across and enveloped me in her warm wetness. Her messed up blond hair gave her a just fucked look I love, and her tits swung enticingly as she pushed on my chest to lever herself up and down for longer strokes. I could not remember a more pleasant start to a Sunday. If I'd known this was what retirement had in store, I would have don't it years ago.

"What's got into you darling?" I said as I snaked my hand between her thighs to rub her clit.

"Are you complaining?" she stopped mid-stroke, gripping just the head of my cock in her lips. The feeling was exquisite. I shook my head and grabbed her shoulders, and impaled her. Janice smiled, "Must be the sea air. Besides, there are only the two of us now, David, no overseas trips to distract you."

That one caught me in the ribs. "I don't know what you mean," I dissembled. My mind raced, wondering if I'd been talking in my sleep all these years. Janice went to dismount. I threw in my losing hand. "No, please. Janice I never meant to... I was away from home too often. The temptation was too much." A poor excuse, but an honest one.

Janice smiled, pleased I would not treat her like an idiot. "I know David. You were on your own a lot, even when you were here. Mum's lengthy illness was a big distraction for me. We seemed to be marking time rather than living. Maybe it was just one of those things.''

I could not believe she'd be so understanding. "Janice that's all over now, I'm sorry. I'm not going anywhere. You know I still love you." I sat up and put my arms around her waist and kissed my wife.

Janice looked into my frightened eyes before she ruffled my hair. "I know and I love you too, David. That is why I can forgive you."

I had such an outpouring of love for my wife at that moment. I twisted her around and put her back on the mattress and fucked her as if my life depended on it. Afterwards, I looked at her with questioning eyes.

"You won't clear the slate with one fuck, good as it was. You have a lot of making up to do," Janice said.

"I will do. I owe you big time Janice," I promised. I did not know then clearing the slate would involve other people.

*

I lay in bed while Janice had a shower and I watched her get dressed. She was going to the village shop for supplies. Janice put on pale blue cotton knickers, a matching bra and a little sun dress. She bent over a box to look for her cork wedge sandals and I could see her knickers. My cock was up again. She slipped her shoes on and turned to leave the room. "Hurry back," I said. When she looked puzzled, I opened the duvet to show the hard on I was sporting.

Janice laughed. "You've made me sore; you'll have to see to yourself." She skipped out of the room before I could grab her.

"Or you could, before you go out," I shouted as she closed the front door. I don't know what had happened to Janice, but I was not the only one to notice it.

Her ten-minute trip to the shop lasted a couple of hours and she came back laden with things we'd never use. Janice was full of life. "I got talking to some of our new neighbours and the shop keeper Jack, he's a lovely man. His wife passed away a couple of years ago, she had the same thing as mum."

"You've been gone ages. I was going to send out a search party."

"Have I? I guess it was all that talking to Jack. He seemed grateful to speak about his wife's illness with someone who knew what it was like. That cancer is hard to deal with."

I looked at her purchases. "I think your new soul mate has the gift of the gab. When are we going to use half this stuff?" It seemed she'd bought one of everything in the shop.

"David, you sound jealous. Jack is a mature gentleman. He must have at least ten years on you, more likely fifteen."

"All the same, he's got a pulse and look what you've done to mine." I pulled down the front of my jogging trousers and my erection sprang to life. I put her hand on it.

Janice tutted. "Do I have to do everything around here now, David?" She wanked me teasingly.

"Yes, madam," I replied in my best bank manager voice.

Janice went down on her haunches, making eye level contact with my cock. "What's the matter, little one, are you jealous of the shopkeeper?"

For a fleeting second, I had an image of a man with his trousers down, apron up, shagging Janice face down across his counter. Fear and excitement made my cock lurch, and Janice saw it.

Janice looked up at me slyly. "I think we've struck a nerve."

She teased the tip on my cock with her tongue until I was begging her to put it in her mouth; the feeling was exquisite, but I had to be in my wife as soon as possible. I eased her head away.

"I need to fuck you now, Janice." I took the two bags of shopping off the kitchen table and backed her towards it.

"What here on the kitchen table?"

I nodded and pushed her down. I lifted her legs and the skirt of her sundress fell back. The crotch of her pale blue panties was wet and transparent. What we had been doing was enough to cause that, but my irrational fear was my wife was full of another man's cum. I pulled her panties down, snagging them on the heels of her sandals, and spread her legs wide so her puffy lips opened to greet me. The juices were running free, and I was relieved they were only hers. I lapped at her like a man with an unquenchable thirst. Janice squirmed about, grabbed the back of my head and ground my face to her cunt as her orgasm approached. With two fingers inside her, I searched for her G-spot and found it. Janice said, "Mumm. You fucker David, make me cum." Janice was not one for coarse language, which made her loss of control even more exciting. A little more action from my tongue and fingers and Janice was coming against my face. "David, you fucker, you dirty, dirty fucker."

This was too much for me. I pulled my head away and took my swollen cock in my hand. It was as hard as a rock and oozing pre cum. I beat the underside of it against her sensitive clit, making lovely wet sounds. Janice's legs wiggled in response. "Stop teasing me, David." She pushed my hand away, grabbed my cock, and fed it into her warm wetness. She spasmed again, and I was not far behind. I managed half a dozen strokes before spewing into her. My hips shook like I had St Vitus' dance and I had to grip the table to support my weak legs.

Afterwards, we were a frozen tableau. Me with aching arms and Janice with legs wrapped around my waist. She smiled up at me. "We never fucked like that, even when we were courting. You've learned new moves."

I thought for a moment. Neither of us had much experience when we met thirty years ago, but my travels abroad broadened my horizons from meeting girls who would try anything for a price. I guess I was nervous about bringing those lessons home and making Janice suspicious where I'd learned them. I did not want to lie anymore. "Thank you, darling. No more lying, right? We knew nothing when we got married. But over the years, I've learned some things that would make your hair curl. If you are interested, that is?"

"I've always wanted curly hair, David."

I put her arms around my neck and my hands under her arse and lifted her. We made it up three steps before my legs gave out.

"Easy, David. When I said you had a lot of making up to do, I did not mean all in one day. I don't want to be a horny widow."

We walked up the rest of the stairs and flopped on to our bed. The next thing I remember was church bells ringing. I looked at my watch. "What time do they think this is?" I complained, noticing it was 6.30 pm.

"It's evensong, you heathen," Janice replied sleepily.

I worked it out in my sleep. My relief at confessing to Janice without causing a massive bust up, released feelings I'd sat on for years. Guilty about my betrayal, I seized on the figure of the friendly grocer making advances towards my wife as the punishment I deserved. The fantasy and the fear made me, 'put in a good shift at the crease,' as some of my cricket buddies liked to describe their clandestine couplings. If this fantasy kept me on the straight and narrow, what harm could it do? It's all good, isn't it? That's what I thought before I met Jack.

Episode 2 - Revenge is sweet

I'd planned to satisfy my curiosity about Jack by visiting the shop on Monday morning, but around 10 am my mobile phone rang.

"David, how's retirement suiting you?" It was Brad Channing, the American brought in by the banks US owners to run the international office out of the UK. His agenda from the outset was to put his stooges in. It took him two years to get me out. He was the last person I expected to call.

"Well Brad, as I'm not even halfway through my first day of official retirement, I can't say. Call me in three months and I'll let you know." Whatever he was after, I would not make it easy. I imagined him grinding his teeth.

"David, the thing is, we could use your help to put the finishing touches on a deal. A couple of days' work at the most. Are you interested?" He tried to make the offer seem casual.

I knew it was something more serious as I was the last person he would ask for help if he could avoid it. I made him beg. "Can't your man Carter handle it? I mean, you've put him in my seat."

I heard him draw breath. He knew I had no reason to put myself out. "Jim's a good man, but we could do with your expertise to finesse a situation. I know you could allay the Estonians concerns with their finance package." The confidence drained out of Channing's voice as he explained the balls up.

"That's interesting, Brad. My expertise was an obstacle a year ago, what's changed?"

Channing sighed, realising he would have to confess before I got on board. "Things were going well when you handed over to Jim and the Estonians were happy with the deal."

I knew there was a but coming. "It was just waiting for rubber stamping, Brad. That's why I thought you moved me off it, so you could claim a win for the new regime."

Channing made an awkward throat clearing noise on the other end of the line. "Unfortunately, Jim thought he could squeeze them for a few more points and the entire thing unravelled." Channing played his last card. "The bottom line is they don't trust us without you involved."

I left him hanging for a few moments, enjoying how uncomfortable he must be feeling.

"Well, that is sad news, Brad. I have a lot of history with the Estonians. I would hate to see them loose out because of a simple misunderstanding. But I can't come back and front up for the bank. Not if Jim Carter is still running the deal."

"I thought about that, David. Your best role would be as an impartial party trying to bring the two sides together. A bit of diplomacy Henry Kissinger style. You know, both sides are in different rooms and you shuttling between them until there is enough common ground for a face-to-face. Then it is all smiles and handshakes."

I liked the idea, and the thought of seeing Channing and Carter eating humble pie was enough for me to accept. "I can give you until Friday, and you pay my expenses. Okay, Brad?" What was he going to say? At 2pm Janice was pecking me on the cheek and waving me off on the London train.

They'd moved me off site to the Reading office for my last six months, so it was strange to be back in the City again. The hustle and bustle of Docklands, that eternal building site, was quite a contrast to my new rural surroundings in Dorset. I missed its energy. I had grown up with it. Big Bang, Deregulation, privatisation, property speculation, fall of the Russian empire, the New Europe. That was my soundtrack. It was good to hear it again.

If they wanted British diplomacy, I was ready to give it to them. I'd dressed for the occasion. My bespoke navy-blue Chester Barrie suit with picked edge stitching and French Blue silk lining was just the part. Too flash for the Reading gulag, but just right for today. The handmade Lobb loafers were guaranteed to draw envious glances from the preppy Princeton old boy regime Channing installed. One day I'd confess to Janice how much all this gear cost me.

In the reception of our thirty-storey temple to Mammon, guess who'd come down to greet me? None other than Jim Carter, trying to put his spin on the situation.

"Glad you could spare the time, David. Just a formality." He was trying to play it cool, but the sweat on his nose said otherwise. I waited until we were in the executive lift before I replied.

"Really, that's not the way Brad Channing sees it. He says you tried to stiff them for a few more points and now the deal is in pieces. I'm back home to retirement on Friday, deal or no deal. What are your plans for next week, Jim?"

We rode twenty floors in silence before he answered. "Okay. I admit I was wrong to change things when you had an understanding with them, David. But we are in an ego-driven business. How would it look if I was just your bag carrier?"

And there was the problem in a nutshell. There was a time when banking was not an ego-driven business, but that was many bonuses ago. The lift opened on the international banking floor and I stepped into familiar surroundings. A huge open plan barn with full-length plate-glass windows. Expensive blonde Danish office furniture and chairs that cost more than my first car. Lots of fresh faces, but still many I remembered from when I was more or less a permanent fixture here. I acknowledged a few greetings as we walked through the office towards Brad Channing's door. You could see the puzzled look on people's faces. I leaned over to Jim's ear so no one could hear me and said, "You know, last time I took these steps I was the dead man walking." Jim rewarded me with a gratifying look of terror.

Brad posed at his window as we entered, gazing at people scurrying like ants from the DLR across the footbridges. His smile and handshake were warm. "Thanks for doing this, David. I know there must have been a voice in your head that said screw them." We sat at his meeting table.

"No problem, Brad. I don't want to let the Estonians down." Neither of them missed my barb. Channing deflected it with a smile. "The Estonians fly in tomorrow morning and we meet here at 10am for a review. I thought we could use the rest of the day to bring you up to date on how things have changed since you were last involved and run through some options to get us back on track."

It was 9pm before I slumped onto my bed at the Churchill. My head was still buzzing from the financial analysis and complicated plays my former colleagues were suggesting. I phoned Janice and told her my woes, but she saw through it.

"You love all the wheeler dealing David, and you love getting your own back on those two who treated you so badly. It's just big boy's games."

Janice was never impressed by the high finance end of banking. I laughed at her accurate assessment of the situation, before having a stab at initiating phone sex. My 'what are you wearing, darling?' opening question received a frosty answer. "I'm in bed wearing woolly pyjamas and two pairs of socks because my husband can't work the new central heating timer." I quit while I was behind.

Next morning there were eight people in the Estonian negotiating team, six men and two women, one of whom was Jaana. We smiled at each other with our eyes before the formal greetings.

Brad Channing outlined the format of the talks and my role and invited the Estonians to respond to Bank's latest offer before we got to work on making a new deal. The chairman of their side was a wily old man. He explained how our latest funding package was much less favourable than the one I offered a year before; or compared to similar unsolicited offers they'd received from interested parties who'd heard about our difficulties in coming to terms. They'd been shopping around. From the glances Channing and Carter exchanged, I knew it was not all bluff.

It took an hour for the Estonians to outline their objections and their counter proposal. We adjourned for coffee and I caught Janna's eyes. We discretely left the meeting room, and she followed me to the service elevator. I was pleased the authorisation code had not changed, and I ushered her in and pressed up. Inside, she hugged me and we kissed. No longer lovers' kisses, full of passion and longing, but kisses between two people who still meant something to each other. We were still easy in each other's embrace.

I brushed a strand of hair from her face, like I'd done on countless mornings. "I was surprised to see you this morning, Jaana."

"I have a new job in the Ministry of Finance on international credit. I said I knew your bank and that might assist the renegotiations. It's good to see you too, David. You look much happier than the last time we met." She held my face in her hands.

"They were pushing me out, Jaana. I came to say goodbye." The lift arrived at the roof. Another security door gave access to the outside. There was only a window cleaners cradle the first time I came up here. Now it was full of telecoms dishes and we had to follow the marked path to the observation area. "The roof is off limits now because people jumped during the last banking crisis. This is the view I was telling you about all those years ago." London was like a toy city hundreds of feet below. We did a full 360 and in the good visibility we could see at least twenty miles in every direction.

"It's marvellous, David. Just as I imagined." She took her phone out, and I took pictures of her with various landmarks in the background. I hammed it up as a camp photographer, and she posed as provocatively as a woman dressed in a business suit on a chilly day could. We laughed, and I saw the eighteen-year-old I met so long ago. Her refinement had taken nothing away from the warm-hearted girl I had loved. She took a selfie of the two of us and sent it to my phone, then we made our way back to the lift.

"Did you do this for me, engineer this problem with the deal?"

"No, David, but I would have if I'd had the power. Jim Carter did enough to upset things by himself; then I found out they side lined you. It was not fair. I suggested we hold out and insist they bring the man who did the original negotiation back on board. I hope you are charging them a lot for your time to sort this out?"

"Jaana, it is worth it just to see the look on Carter and Channing's faces. Money can't buy that. But speaking of what money can buy, what wiggle room do I have to negotiate?"

In the small service lift, Jaana highlighted their options and their line in the sand, and I said I would get them a better deal than the minimum they were looking for.

The next couple of days were pure theatre as both sides postured and I shuttled between rooms with offer and counter offers. By Thursday afternoon we reached the position Jaana and I had sketched out two days earlier, and I convinced Carter and Channing it was the best deal they would get because now they were not the only players in town. They nodded, not so gung-ho now. The difference between the new agreement and the one I had brokered eighteen months before was marginal, and I pointed this out to them and the team of analysts who had been crunching numbers for days. Several junior staff had wry smiles, and I knew the real story of this deal would get around the office, no matter how Carter and Channing tried to spin it. On Friday morning, I stopped by Jaana's hotel to drop off a present for her son Max who was five next week. But the team had already left for a briefing at their embassy.

They arrived at our office afterwards and signed the deal at 11.30 am. We wheeled out the customary champagne toast soon after. Nobody would do serious work in the afternoon. Morning drinking had its usual effect and with negotiations concluded and adrenaline released, a relaxed party atmosphere took over. Half an hour of handshaking and backslapping later, Janna and I snuck away to our meeting place. Jaana put her hand out for a formal handshake. "David, I would like to thank you on behalf of my country for the loan of 1.7 billion dollars. I would also like to thank you personally." She put her arms around my neck and we kissed. This time the champagne and the knowledge that it would be the last time we met got to both of us and we embraced as lovers. I kissed her face and neck, my hands were in her hair. Her body was close against mine. She could feel my hardness, and I felt the heat of her crotch against my thigh. We broke away, panting.

"It hasn't gone away, has it Jaana?"

"I don't think it ever will go away, David. If we spend more time together, we won't be able to stop ourselves and it would hurt people we care about." She put her head on my shoulder.

I held her for the last time. "You are right Jaana, our time is past, but it was a wonderful time."

"I would not have had it any other way, David. Take care, my love."

*

I was trying to make my escape when Brad Channing buttonholed me and said home office would like a word. I found myself in a video suite talking to our chairman, at his home in the Hamptons, USA. He was in his dressing gown with a large whiskey at his side. He had to be all of eighty, but he had the sharpest mind I have ever known.

"Thanks for indulging me, David. I don't sleep very well these days, so I monitor what is happening in other offices. You pulled our asses out of the fire on this one."

I made the customary noises about team effort, but he waved them away. "You don't work for us anymore, so you can tell me the truth."

The drink had loosened my tongue, so I did. I told him the superstar banker culture in our office had led inferior people to emulate the posture of the few talented people who acted like that and got results. But the wannabees could not reproduce their success. I unloaded on what I had seen over the last thirty years and how it was coming back to haunt us.

He nodded in agreement and prompted me for examples, which he jotted on a pad I had not noticed before, then he drained his glass. "David, I agree with a lot of what you say. You chime with many of my concerns. Our approach to change involves the assassination of those who lead by those who would be king. Wisdom is lost and we make the same mistakes again. Youth must have its day, but it should be better counselled. I want to establish a network of alumni, senior people who can coach a new generation of bankers in the skills they don't teach at business school. I want you to join this initiative. Nothing onerous, two days a month at most. I am sure we can find a tax efficient way to reward your expertise."

"I'm flattered sir, but I don't think people like Channing and Carter would listen."

"I agree David. That is why I am aiming younger. We can mould people in their twenties and early thirties, before the bad habits set. What do you say?"

"I'd say yes, sir. The last few days have shown me I am not ready to put my feet up for good."

The old man smiled. "Splendid, my office will be in touch. Has anyone discussed your fee for helping us on this Estonian business?"

"I was happy to do it for my expenses."

"David, some lessons must be hard lessons. You will get 50,000 dollars for what you did for us, and it will come out of the bonuses Carter and Channing will earn this year. We pensioners must look out for each other." He laughed at the last remark. Everyone knew he was a billionaire.

I thanked him for his generosity and we said goodbye. To be honest, if it was 500 dollars, I would have been just as happy. It was the fact that it was coming out of their pockets that mattered to me.

Brad Channing called me into his office on my way out and persuaded me to have a glass of whiskey with him before l left. I didn't know if he had been told about his penalty yet, but he was cordial all the same. I let the smooth liquor slide down my throat. I was feeling contented and conciliatory.

"You know Brad, we need not have become enemies; I was never after the top job. I would have been happy to work for you."

"I know that now David, and I'm sorry it turned out the way it did, but you know the score. An American hot shot parachutes in to teach the Limeys a lesson, but realises it is not as straightforward as it seems, so he safeguards his position by pulling in fall guys who can take the rap if things screw up." I nodded. It was a tactic we'd both seen before. "Listen, you are old school, you've known those Estonians for over twenty years. How did you get under their skin?" He poured me another whiskey, and I pondered telling him the truth. He had apologised, which was all I wanted, so I was honest.

I looked around the room. "Nothing I say goes outside these four walls, okay?" He nodded. "Twenty-five years ago, I was working for another bank and we and everyone else were snouting around the Baltic for deals. You know, a privatisation here, a property deal, there. We all wanted to get in before the locals worked out the value of what they were selling. One night I was drowning my sorrows in a bar in Tallinn after five fruitless days touring the country. In every prospect, we got beaten to the punch by Russian drug money looking to be laundered. I was about to return to my hotel when a young woman sat next to me. She looked about eighteen, pretty, but no make-up, dressed like a student. I offered to buy her a drink, and we talked for a while about her life, the country, her hopes for change, then half an hour later out of the blue she asks me if I want to sleep with her for a hundred dollars."

Channing was surprised. "What hooker talks about herself and leaves it half an hour to proposition a guy?"

"That's what I thought, Brad. She saw my confusion and apologised. She looked around the room and the only other prospects were two guys who looked like they would beat her and take her money afterwards. I asked her how long she had been doing this and she said I was only her second punter. She opened up and confessed the first had asked for half his money back afterwards because he said she was not a very good fuck." Brad laughed.

"I took pity on her and said I would pay her a hundred dollars just to talk to me for the evening. Truth was, I missed my wife and there was something similar about the eyes and mouth of this girl. I gave her the money under the table, and she settled down. I asked her what she would do with the money, expecting her to spend it on Western crap, so when she said she would buy food for her father and two younger brothers, that took me back. When the bar closed, I got my coat and offered her a taxi home. She asked me to take her back to my hotel. I said the money was a gift. 'I like you David, I make you a gift of sex,' she said. It would have been rude to refuse, wouldn't it?"

Brad leaned forward. "Eighteen, you say? Was she a good fuck?"

"No Brad, she was a lousy fuck. She made me turn the other way while she got undressed. But she was very loving and demonstrative. I felt like her boyfriend. Afterwards, I asked her if she knew what men liked, but she was clueless. I said I would show her, but she was not to try picking anyone else up. I would book her for the rest of my stay and pay her at the end of the week. She clung on to me like I was Father Christmas."

"In the morning, we shared a cab, and I dropped her home. A drab flat in a high-rise estate on the edge of town. A monument to Soviet town planning. She insisted I come in and meet her father. He made no comment about our relationship, although it was obvious. I had the obligatory cup of coffee and noticed an enormous bookcase full of textbooks and academic journals. Her father was a professor of economics at the university on a princely 40 dollars a month before they kicked him out for criticising the regime. This was before independence of course. I said I would like to speak to him about what his country needed, so they invited me to dinner that evening. A simple, tasty meal with a dozen other people, some former colleagues of her father and neighbours lured by the smell of cooking meat. Through his daughter translating, he explained his thesis that Russian drug money would flood the country, forcing prices up, but that anything they did would fail, because the Russians could manage nothing and the Estonian people hated the Russians and would make sure they failed. It would just be a matter of time. The bankers who were ready to pick up the pieces after it collapsed would be the ones to succeed. He suggested prospects who were circling the plug hole. He was right, and that strategy paid off for me many times in the end. We picked up businesses for cents on the dollar. But for the first two years, I made nothing out there; you would have given me the sack if you'd been around then."

Brad looked astounded. "It's as simple as that, is it? What about the girl?"

"I took her back to the hotel that evening, she insisted on it, and she showed me her own investment. I watched as she undressed down to her imitation silk underwear. She looked sexy, and the drink made her less inhibited. She was a keen student with a thirst for knowledge, and I taught her all I had learned about sex in my thirty-five years by the time the week was over. I tried to persuade her to stop hooking, but she said she could do it now because she understood the difference between sex for joy and sex for money. She said the family would use the money I gave, so the sex we had was for joy. At the end, her father was managing an investment portfolio for her."

Channing laughed. "You could have brought her over to the UK and set her up in a little love nest. Many guys did."

"I could have Brad, but that would have been selfish. Her family needed her and besides, I still loved my wife. I got over there half a dozen times a year. I'd make a five-hundred-mile detour in my travel plans to meet up with her. She would even come to the airport to see me, even if it was just a stopover between flights. I was in love with her, but it was not a selfish love. She got very good at her chosen profession and I admitted I was jealous of the other men. She said none of them could buy what she gave me free; and I believed that. By the time she finished university, she just had a few regular clients, rich men who all wanted to set her up as a mistress. A year later, she met someone special who wanted to marry her and said she was giving up the game, but she would still see me."

Brad was surprised. "While she was married to another man?"

"I know it's strange. She said our relationship was on another plane and could cope with these things. It must be so otherwise; how could I still love my wife while I was fucking her?"

Channing nodded. "She had a point."

"I guess it's one of those, you don't know unless you've been there, things. Anyway, I excused her from the physical side of our relationship and we've been friends ever since."

Channing sat back in his chair. "That's remarkable, David. Like you say, it's all about relationships. As a banker, I have to ask how much have you spent on her over the years?"

I did a mental calculation. Back in those days we got our expenses in cash as it was easier to use money in countries where the banking system was broken or corrupt. "I would say less than ten thousand dollars."

"A remarkable investment. It has paid off handsomely."

I got up to leave. "She thinks so Brad. You've just given her 1.7 billion dollars and not even kissed her."

His jaw dropped, and then he smiled. "The dark-haired woman in the Estonian delegation, that was..."

"Yes, when Jaana finished university, she got a job in the Ministry of Finance and worked her way up on merit. We have an ally there, and if you have any sense, you'll play right by her and use this deal as a springboard for other business in the region. There is no sense in digging up the past."

He looked at his glass, pondering. "You are right, David. Thank you."

I slumped into my seat on the four o'clock train from Waterloo. The adrenaline of the last few days had worn off and now there was just tiredness. I don't know what made me tell Brad about Jaana Vaher. I guess the story bore telling once before I consigned it to history where it belonged. Jaana was my first accidental entanglement with a hooker overseas, except it never felt like that and the relationship we had was real.

As the train got further away from London, I felt I left that life behind for good. Maybe I had grown up at last. For the first time in my life, I felt I had something to lose.

I phoned Janice from the train and gave her the highlights of my score-settling with Brad Channing and Jim Carter, and my new role as one of the part-time sages. She sounded happy for me, which made it strange when she was more reserved by the time she met me from the train. I should have noticed her displeasure at my half-hearted attempt at starting sex before I fell asleep.

Episode 3 - The past bites back

I knew something was up when I strolled down to the kitchen on Saturday morning and Janice's first words were, 'Who is Jaana Vaher?'

My first thought was Brad Channing had seen a way of having the last laugh and phoned my home to spill the beans. It turned out an honest mistake caused the problem. Upon discovering my gift for Max at her hotel, Jaana tried my mobile, but getting no answer and wanting to show her gratitude, she persuaded the office to give her my new home number. Janice had a conversation with a tipsy and emotional Jaana and worked out that our relationship had been long term, and more than just colleagues.

"Jaana was a member of the Estonian finance team at the negotiations," I said weakly.

"Did you buy them all presents for their son's birthdays, David?" A worse thought flashed through her head. "He's not your son, is he? How many more kids have you got around the world?"

I was shocked. "No, he's not my son, love. He's father is Jaana's husband and they love each other very much. I first met Jaana twenty years ago when she was not in a good place. It's a long story love."

"Well, I've got time and we're not going anywhere." She plonked herself on a kitchen chair folded her arms and stared at me. I think what angered Janice was confirmation of what she already knew. Now I had brought it into our home. There was tangible evidence. A voice, a name.

I sat across the corner from her. "The physical relationship with Jaana ended a long time ago, love. Now she is just a friend. That's the truth."

There were tears in her eyes, but Janice was determined to hold them back. "Start at the beginning, David. Tell me why you went with her." Janice wanted chapter and verse.

So, less than twenty-four hours later, I was telling the story of Jaana Vaher for a second time, although not with the same emphasis I had given Brad Channing. I ended my tale with a plea. "It was all a long time ago, and it's over, all of it. Honestly, Janice. I'm sorry I have hurt you. Please don't let ancient history jeopardise our future. I meant what I said before."

Janice pondered a long time before she spoke. "Why should you be any different to other men? How many of them would rather be fucking an eighteen-year-old than stuck at home with a frumpy wife and two screaming kids?"

I reached for her hand. "You were never frumpy. Never unappealing, never that. It was a moment of weakness."

"For fuck's sake, David. You kept it going for twenty years!"

There was no answer to that, so I buried my head in making the tea. How had my life been turned upside down in less than twenty-four hours? I had visions of spending today in bed with my wife, drinking champagne and toasting what we would do with an extra fifty grand. Now it was turning to crap. "I got you a present." I sounded feeble.

"A bunch petrol station carnations will not make it up, David."

"No, but how far would fifty thousand dollars go? The bank wants to pay me a bonus for helping them out this week. If Jaana had not been on the negotiating team, none of that would have happened. She made the bank bring me back onboard. Janna gave me back my self-respect. She is not my whore, she never was. She was my friend." I think the way I defended Jaana surprised Janice. "Would you like to see what she looks like?" I held my phone up.

"No, I don't." Her disinterest lasted two seconds. "Give me that." Janice swiped the phone from my hand.

I found the selfie Jaana had taken of the two of us. "Whose mouth is that? Whose eyes, whose nose. For God's sake, you've almost got the same name. Now, can you understand how it happened?" I wonder how I had never considered it before. Their similarity had made it easier to keep my double life going. In my mind, I was not straying too far.

Janice looked up at me. "You silly man, David." At least her tone was softening. "I don't want to dwell in the past, if it is the past?" I nodded like a donkey. "Well, I have a friend who needs my help. Not the help you seem keen on giving. I said I'd help Jack with the catalogue returns. I'm going to the post office. Come down later and say hello. It would be rude to avoid him any longer." She went to get dressed and came back in a pair of jeans and a vest which showed a fair bit of cleavage. I was about to say something, but she gave me that 'don't you dare' look, and I remembered the shaky ground I was on.

I strolled down to the post office after lunch, expecting to find an old codger in a brown warehouseman's coat. I was in for a shock. The shop looked empty when I entered, but I could hear Janice's voice calling out from the back room. From under the counter where he had been looking through packets, Jack emerged in response to the bell on the door. As he stood up, he grew taller and taller. He must have been six foot four at least, towering over my five foot nine. He was well built, clean shaven with salt and pepper hair and piercing grey eyes. I called to Janice in a faltering voice and she came forward.

She was enjoying my discomfort. "Jack, this is my husband David, at last."

He stuck out a meaty paw and his tee shirt rode up to reveal a parachute regiment tattoo on his strong bicep. "Pleased to meet you at last," said Jack with a welcoming smile.

I smiled weakly and returned the greeting. This was my worst nightmare. The man had to be in his late sixties, but was what women would describe as a hunk. I imagined he'd been through half the wives in the village and they'd done the asking. Janice stood unnecessarily close to him at the counter. They made an odd, yet suited couple.

"Excuse my husband for staring, Jack. He was expecting an old codger in a warehouseman's coat," she said with startling prescience. Her payback for my morning disclosures was swift and brutal.

"Sorry to disappoint you, David," Jack smiled. "I guess you get this way from being raised on a farm and then twenty-five years in the Paras. Janice has been a godsend today and, in the week, when my part-time lady had to go to the doctor."

I flashed Janice a quick look and despite her having the moral high ground, she still blushed at failing to mention this when we spoke several times during the week.

We chatted for a few minutes; me trying to suppress mental images of Jack picking up my petite wife and impaling her on what, if everything was in proportion, would be a huge member.

"We'll be another hour love," said Janice. "Perhaps you could take these carrier bags for me?"

Jack picked up two bags of vegetables with no effort and held them at arm's length over the counter. I took the handles and tried not to let them sag when I had their weight. But I failed.

Janice held the door open and kissed me on the cheek as I left. I made it to the corner before I had to lower them to relieve the pain in my hands. It was all I could do to stop myself from running back and peeking through the window. Only the prospect of finding the two of them laughing at me, or worse, Jack goosing her behind the counter that prevented me. I dragged the heavy bags home, cursing all the way. Superstar banker and international playboy one day, cuckold weakling the next. Life was cruel.

I had a constant gnawing in my guts for the next few weeks. I was preparing myself for the worst, but I did not want to contemplate what that was. Janice's relationship with Jack seemed innocent enough, and I didn't get the vibe anything had happened between them yet. But it was plain to see there was an attraction between them, and to my mind it was only a matter of time.

One evening Janice asked me what my students were like. I showed her their pictures on my tablet. I'd started mentoring four young bankers under thirty. We'd meet once a fortnight for the day. In the morning we'd try group problem solving and, in the afternoon, I would have one-to-ones with them so they could speak in confidence about anything they wanted to.

She scrutinised the photos. "The men are handsome and the women are beautiful. What happens to the plain people?"

"I think they weed them out during the selection interviews," I said offhand.

Janice tutted. "She's your type," pointing at an attractive blond woman.

I realised the reason for her inspection. "There's nothing going on." I hoped the sound of regret was only in my head.

I don't know how it happened, but my last session was always with Githe, a stunning Danish woman in her late twenties. I sensed the technical questions she asked me were things she already knew the answers to, and were just openers for what she was drawing up the courage to say. It took her three sessions before she could come out with it.

"David, can I ask you something in confidence, please don't be offended."

"I assume it has more to do with human relations than international banking protocols, Githe?''

She laughed nervously, relieved that I had met her halfway. "Forgive my bluntness, but have you ever had a relationship with a younger woman at work?"

Now, while I admire and the directness of young women, her tone suggested she was not about to proposition me. I cut to the chase. "Are you being harassed by an older married man, Githe?" My words had a startling effect. This stunning, confident woman collapsed in tears. I pulled out a laundered hanky and offered it to her. She looked at it and threw her arms around me and sobbed into my shoulder. The smell of her perfume and shampoo was intoxicating, and I was aware of the warmth of her body. Then I remembered her reaction to the hanky. It signalled, old man, dad, someone safe. I patted her back paternally until her sobbing stopped. "Okay Githe, tell me what's happened?"

Her tale was a familiar one. An older boss takes an interest and gives her more interesting work. It's all on merit, but she knows there is a price to be paid, but she thinks she can handle it. She knows how to deal with men her own age. In a moment of weakness, she sleeps with him, a one off, she thinks. But not so for him. He becomes demanding. Suddenly her work is not up to scratch. He's fucking her not out of love or lust, but because he has power over her. Eventually she gave up his name, and it turned out I knew the guy. A second division player in my day who fancied his chances. He survived an insider trading scandal a few years before because no one had an appetite to investigate, but the evidence was still there; if you knew where to look, and I did.

"Have you thought about taking it to HR, Githe? Everyone makes a mistake, but the way he is acting now is abuse. You can't get away with that behaviour today."

"That's true David, but word would still get out and they would judge me all the same. I'd be labelled one of those awkward women. No male boss would want me on his team."

Everything Githe said was wrong, but we knew it was true.

I put a reassuring hand on hers. "I'll have a quiet word with the guy off the record. Make him think he is in the frame for something else. He won't know it has anything to do with you."

She was so relieved the stress drained out of her. She went to kiss me on both cheeks continental style, but we lost coordination and ended up kissing on the lips. My tongue was in her mouth before I knew it, but she did not break away. My senses came back to me. "Sorry, Githe, I think we were both on autopilot. That's not why you confided in me." I looked away, embarrassed.

"No, I'm sorry, David. It's my fault too, I was curious. And yes, it is why I came to you. I mean, you wouldn't ask a vegan to recommend an excellent steak restaurant," she smiled.

"What's that supposed to mean, Githe?'' I was taken aback I had a reputation. I had been careful not to shit where I eat in the office.

Now she was the one to look away. "It means you seem to be a person who has experience of such matters."

It didn't sound like a compliment. "I don't know what they write on the back of the door in the ladies' toilet, but I have never harassed a woman at work."

"No, I don't mean that. I mean, you look like a man of the world, David."

I smiled. "Well, at least that's better than you thinking of me as your grandad. I saw your reaction to my hanky."

We both looked at the hanky twisted in her fingers and burst out laughing.

Githe dabbed her tears of relief. "Thank you, David. And my husband would thank you if he ever knew. He loves his new job in London. He would be very sad if we had to leave and our daughter would miss her school friends."

"You're married, Githe. And this man knows it?" She nodded. I decided not to tread as softly as I first intended.

I engineered, bumping into the man in question at his favourite after work watering hole. It was five years since I'd last seen him. His hair was thinning, and his complexion pasty. "Gary, long time no see. How goes it in the world of credit risk?''

"Oh, you know David, same old, same old, still fighting the good fight."

"Speaking of the good fight, Gary, I thought you might appreciate a heads up." I looked around like I was a spiv about to sell him black market nylons. I wanted to put him on edge.

"About what, David?" His weak smile dropped, replaced by a chilly stare.

"Well, you know I'm on this old sage's mentoring group, don't you? You'd be amazed who else is on there. The bush telegraph has nothing on that lot." Gary was looking concerned, as I hoped. "Well, the word is we're going to take a haircut from regulators on rigging interbank lending. The whole Libor thing. We need to put our house in order to reduce the inevitable fines. If we look like we are taking action on other abuses, they won't be so punitive."

Gary gulped his lager. "Why are you telling me this, David? I don't work on anything to do with Libor."

"Thing is Gary, we need to do a mea culpa pretty smart; doesn't matter what it is as long as it provides a good soundbite. The Board will reach for something off the shelf. Something in plain sight, that no one has been willing to pick up before."

Gary knew what I meant. His eyes opened wide, but he tried to front it out. "Bullshit David. What I... what happened was no worse than what a lot of other people did back then."

I pulled a sympathetic face. "I agree, Gary. But they need to get points on the board quickly. I mean, it's not 1988 anymore. We can't get away with those strokes now. We need to be squeaky clean. I guess it's like the police when they catch a burglar for one offence and get him to plead to forty more. It's good for the clean-up rate. The bank is casting the net for serial offenders."

He looked me in the eye and I waited until he called my bluff by demanding what I was alluding to. "You know Gary, the usual. Unreported contact, slap dash due diligence, trading via a third party. Anything HR might fret over. "The problem was there was a lot of shit on his shoes and he did not want to give anything away. He folded quickly.

"Okay, David, thanks for the heads up. Of course, I've got nothing to hide."

We were interrupted by a young woman in sexy underwear sliding into our booth next to me. She leaned across and gave Gary a familiar kiss before giving me a professional appraisal. "Hello Gary's friend."

I gave her a similar a similar inspection, smiling at her boobs leaping out of a balconette bra. I'd recognised her accent. "You are a long way from home, sweetheart," I said in my best brothel Latvian. She smiled and sat on my lap. A suspender dug into my thigh. She put an arm around my shoulder and gave me a good whiff of her gaudy perfume.

"The nights are so lonely, Gary's friend," she replied.

She was the sort of girl I'd had for a hundred bucks a night at the end of communism. One-fifty would have secured her mother as well. Now the London rate added another zero to the price. I held her by her hips and stood us both up. "Sorry, my wife is expecting me home for dinner. Although I don't think Gary's is."

She flashed him a look that confirmed his wife had not featured in their earlier discussions, then she flounced off, doing that exaggerated one foot in front of the other catwalk stroll.

We watched her trying her shtick on another punter. I smiled at him. "I hate to break your heart Gary, but I don't think she's a keeper."

I was feeling saintly on the train home and I sat down to dinner with Janice in an excellent mood. I noticed hers worsening during the meal. She kept sneezing.

"Are you coming down with the flu love?"

There was a lengthy pause before Janice said, "You've not changed, David. You're the same womaniser you always were. You don't even respect me enough to wash the smell of whores off before you come home." I was choking on my wine so I could not answer. "I don't have to put up with this anymore." She stormed out of the room and I wondered again how I got away with it when I was doing all the wrong things, but when I try to do the right thing, I end up in the shit. I left half an hour and went upstairs to the bedroom. Janice had been crying.

"I trusted you, David. I was stupid."

I sighed and sat on the bed. "It's about this woman," I said. I had my tablet open at Githe's page on the bank's website. I knew Janice could not resist looking.

"Christ, David, when I said she was your type that was not an instruction to seduce her."

"She's being harassed by a married man at work. He manipulated the situation to sleep with her and now she can't get out of it." Janice looked at me, knowing that even I could not be so blunt about my sins. "She came to me for help, Janice. I was sorting the guy out. In a lap dancing club. I put the shits up him, so he thinks he's being investigated for all the other strokes he's pulled over the years. He'll leave her alone now."

Janice looked me in the eye, and I could feel her boring into my brain. "Why would a young woman trust you?"

"I'm told I look like a man of the world. With experience of such aff -- matters. She was reassured when I pulled out my ironed linen hanky. I looked safe, like her grandfather." My disappointed face must have said it all.

Janice laughed. "Poor David. I bet that hurts more than if I'd caught you carrying on with her?" Janice's smile did not convey sincerity. I huffed, but she'd hit the nail on the head. "You never cease to amaze me, David." She was smiling now, at least.

"In a good way, right?"

"In a good way, David."

"Could your head be turned by a man with an ironed hanky?"

"Perhaps, but I'm not a sexy young girl, am I?" Janice leaned back on the pillows on her elbows and lifted one knee. Her skirt fell back, exposing most of her tights and knickers. She knew she had my attention. I scooted up the bed to take advantage in this thaw in relations. "Did she put her head on your shoulder when she cried?"

"I give up, were you spying outside the room?"

"And just for a moment did you think..."

She knew me too well. I put my arms around Janice and kissed her hard on the lips. I felt her melting. "Just for a moment, then I thought I'd better go home quick and fuck my wife before I do something stupid."

Janice's face was flushed, and her breath laboured. "Well, what are you waiting for, mister man-of-the-world?''

I didn't even undress her. I pulled her tights and knickers off in one, pushed up her tee shirt, and flipped her tits over the bra. She was talking to the top of my head as my mouth moved from one tit to the other and my hand played with the wetness between her legs.

Janice was breathless. "Do you remember when we did it like this when we were courting? In case mum came downstairs and caught us on the couch. It was exciting."

"I was most excited by the risk she might catch us."

"Eww David, that's my mum you're talking about. And take your trousers off, I don't want that zip catching me."

That was my only concession before I mounted her. Janice was so wet these days. I just hoped it was all my work. I varied my angle as I rode her, and Janice groaned appreciatively. She locked her legs around me, then I lifted her and put two pillows under her bum. I pummelled her from this fresh angle. "Oh yes, David... god you're in so deep... fuck I can feel you in my stomach. Listen to your balls slapping against me."

I don't know where she discovered her voice, but Janice's commentary was inspiring me. "I won't last much longer, love. Play with your clit, make yourself come." She thought I was being vulgar, but I took her hand and put it on her fanny lips. Janice soon matched my vigorous thrusting with her rubbing. She let the genie out of the lamp to coincide with my orgasm. "Oh my god Janice, I love fucking you. I didn't believe it could still be so good." It might not have been romantic poetry, but it was heartfelt.

I trapped Janice's hand between us, and every time I moved, she experienced aftershocks. I tormented her for a few minutes until she had to push me off. We undressed and got under the covers and spooned. We lay for a while in easy contentment. I could almost hear her mind ticking over before she spoke.

"You must have found sex with me so boring before."

It was a trap and, and I had to tread carefully. "We were inexperienced, love. Then there were the kids. No one has two kids before they are thirty these days. We didn't have the time to learn how to please each other.''

"You found time abroad, David. You learned. You could have taught me earlier."

"Please Janice, let's not dwell in the past. I'll teach you now if you like."

She turned over to face me. She kissed me, and against the odds I felt stirrings below, even though it could not have been twenty minutes since we both orgasmed. Her hand reached for me and she looked up in surprise. "David, what's got into you?"

"Must be my boring wife," I said, reaching between her legs to return the favour. "Listen, what you said earlier about not having to put up with this anymore? It felt like you'd had a better offer."

Her hand stopped mid-stroke, "What do you mean David?" She could not meet my gaze.

It was time to confront my nagging fear. "I know you think of Jack as a friend and you think I am foolish to be jealous, but trust me, he wants you to be more than his friend. I can see it in his face. It's not just about sex; it's a longing. I haven't looked at you like that for a long time. I could understand if you were flattered, tempted even."

She looked away, confirming she'd had the same thoughts. "Stop it, David. It's not like that."

"Isn't it? When you came upstairs, angry and hurt, before you let me explain. Didn't you think, 'Jack wouldn't treat me like this?' Janice's shocked expression gave her away. "You are not the only one who can hide outside the door." I lifted her face up so she could not avoid me. "Love, I've done a lot of stupid things in the past. No one wouldn't blame you for wanting to pay me back, but he is not the man to do it with."

"Why am I not surprised to hear you say that, David?"

"It would be a life-changing thing for him. He's an honourable man; he'd want to do the right thing. Would you want us to break up, destroy our future, just for a fling? I don't want to lose you, Janice. I love you. I would not make it easy." I could see the worry in her eyes as her half-formed fantasy crashed against the rocks. "Janice, be careful. As careful as I was in not to let anything I did abroad, jeopardise what we have."

"It was just a fantasy, David. Can't I even have that, after all the reality you've had?" She pushed me away.

"Janice, I can't stop you from doing whatever you choose, but don't be naïve about it. If it gets out of control and something happens by accident or otherwise, just know that it is not the end of the world for me. I mean, it would not have to change anything between us." I could not believe what was coming out of my mouth. As much as my guts churned at the thought of something happening between them, I could forgive Janice for her part in it. Was this the way men cuckolded themselves, by being scared to lose their cheating wives?

Janice looked at me speechless, eventually finding her voice. "I can't believe you said that, David. You mean you would put up with me having an affair as long as I did not leave you?"

"I wouldn't want to, but I love you, Janice. I don't want to lose you."

"Oh god David, oh God, oh God!" Janice was in my arms kissing me, then straddling me, clasping my head to her chest. "All those years when it was bad between us, when I thought all that was keeping you here was the cost of a divorce and the fact you had not yet found a woman worth that sacrifice. But to hear you say that now. Oh, God! I'm not going anywhere and you're not going anywhere, right?" She sat on my chest and dried her tears. "You will teach me all the disgusting things you've learned and we will do all the dirty fucking we should have been doing years ago." She reached around behind her and grabbed my semi hardness and fed it into her. "Well, what are you waiting for, you dirty fucker!"

I grabbed her hips and thought that went better than expected.

The clouds appeared on my horizon when we held a barbecue to meet the village. I got stuck with the vicar, who was keen to tell me how the church had moved with the times. When I joked, he might like to send the congregation a text reminder rather than disturb a peaceful Sunday evening with bells calling the faithful to Evensong, he sighed it might come to that in multi-faith communities. He didn't look as happy as me at the prospect. Then he said something that brought me up short.

"David, I'm glad to see how much happier Jack is these days. His world fell apart when Sarah died. He must have seen it as a sign when your wife walked into the post office."

"What do you mean, Vicar?" I was expecting a bible basher explanation.

"Has no one mentioned it to you before? Janice has the same build and friendly personality as Sarah, except she had long brown hair. They could have been cousins."

He wittered on for a while, but I did not hear him. My mind was spinning. That had been my excuse for Janna. 'She looks like you, I could not help myself.' No wonder Jack was so drawn to Janice. I tuned back in to hear the Vicar talking about the village cricket team.

"We're looking for a new middle order batsman. Fellow like you is just what we need, David. Of course, we need Janice too. All the ladies help with the tea between innings."

"Did Sarah help with the teas?"

"Yes, she did. There is a picture in the pub when our team won the local league five years ago. There's another one of all the wives. Some wag said our success was because they poisoned the opposition at teatime."

That evening, I strolled into the pub for a couple of pints and casually mentioned the victorious cricket team of a few years ago. The landlord pointed to a corkboard covered with notices, and I had to dig through several layers before I unearthed the two pictures. Jack stood head and shoulders above most of the cricketers and amongst the ladies pictured behind a trestle table groaning with cakes and sandwiches, there stood Janice in a brown wig. Sarah was a very close likeness to my wife. I borrowed the two pictures and went home to find Janice flaked out on the couch.

"I've been to the pub."

She looked up. "Didn't you have enough to drink this afternoon? You were putting away those lagers like you were on commission."

"It's thirsty work flipping burgers, Janice. Besides, I was looking up a couple of old friends."

She looked puzzled until I dropped the two photos into her lap. "I've not seen this one before," she said, looking at the pictures of the ladies.

"But you know, right? You know you're a dead ringer for his dead wife. I'm sorry that sounds awful, but you know what I mean."

"I know what you mean, David. That first morning I walked into the shop. The first time Jack laid eyes on me; he had such a shocked expression. He had to explain. When he showed me pictures of the two of them together, I understood. I wanted to make that dear sad man happy."

"But why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted it to be my secret just for a while. You know all about secrets, David, you've had so many." She waited for me to speak, but I kept my counsel. "Then just a week later you told me you started a twenty-year affair with Janna just because she looked like me. Well, I thought, maybe I'll keep this one up my sleeve. Maybe that can be my get out of jail card too."

I sat on the couch next to my wife. "I could not blame you. Now I understand it, I could not blame him either. Why didn't you Janice?"

"I thought I would wait until you did something I could not forgive you for. But then what you did for Githe, and what you said afterwards remember, I thought he really can change, maybe he is worth another chance."

I took her hand. "Thank you, Janice, thank you." We both ignored the tears in my eyes.

She changed the subject. "I'm glad you invited your students to the barbecue. Githe has a lovely family. Her husband must work all hours in the NHS, and that little girl of theirs, she was adorable."

"Yes, they are nice people. You know Janice, in the banking world you never see the genuine person. Women like Githe, if they want to get on, they need to look sexy and available. The men who still run things don't want to be thinking of a wife and a mother when they eye her up. It can't go on like that, it mustn't."

Janice snuggled into me. "Just listen to my husband. So much wisdom in a boy of just fifty-five."

Episode 4- Our love triangle grows another corner

If this was just a tale of a man who finally grows up, stops fucking around and loves his wife, it would end here. But in my case, something unexpected happened. Something tragic, but something wonderful too. It has changed all our lives.

One day I took a taxi from the station when I returned from one of my London training sessions. Janice had gone to Salisbury for the day and would not be back to pick me up. As the cab passed the post office, I noticed it was shut. A woman was banging on the door. Curious, I got out and paid the taxi off. She banged on the door again and shouted through the letterbox, "Dad, are you home, can you hear me, its Elaine?"

I walked up behind her and was about to ask if I could help, when a voice from the cab of a white hire van parked opposite said, "Mum, I need the toilet, I need to poo."

The woman turned around. Mid-thirties, brown eyes and brown hair with some red colouring at the ends. An attractive face, but too stressed at this moment for that to shine through.

"Can I help you? I'm David; my wife Janice works at the post office a couple of days a week. She covers for Jack if he needs to go out."

She gave me a quick once over to check I was kosher, while she processed what I said. "Jack's my dad. He's always here. Where has he gone?" She was more anxious than annoyed.

"I take it he is not expecting you, then?"

She was about to explain, but thought better of it. "No, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision to come down. Sorry where are my manners? I'm Elaine. That's my daughter Sophie in the van."

"Can I make a suggestion, Elaine? I think Sophie needs the loo sooner rather than later. I live down the road. Why don't you come in and wait for your dad? My wife has a set of keys somewhere and we can come back later and let you in if Jack's not back until late."

The stress seeped out of Elaine. "Could we? That's so kind, David."

An hour later, a relieved Sophie was stroking the cat and the dog, and my fish finger sandwiches sated both mother and daughter.

"David is a good cook, isn't he mummy? Daddy doesn't cook," Sophie confided.

Elaine blushed with embarrassment. "Kids. You can have no shame."

"Are you staying a while, Elaine?" I asked, nodding to the van.

"Longer than I planned. I know you've worked it all out," she said, unable to look at me.

I leaned forward. "Elaine, I don't mean to pry, but if there is anything me or Janice can do to help?"

Her shoulders shook, and she fought back tears so as not to alert Sophie, who was preoccupied scratching the dog's belly. "Bloody men, why can't they keep it in their pants?" Elaine said in a stage whisper.

On queue Janice walked in the kitchen. She took one look at the tearful woman sitting opposite me at our kitchen table and the little girl playing with the dog and put two and two together and made five. Her face wore a, 'That's it, David' expression, that would have made me quake in other circumstances. But today I was on the side of the angels, so I just smiled.

"Hello love. This is Jack's daughter. Elaine this is my wife Janice who works part time at the post office. She and Jack are good friends." I furrowed my brows back to say two can play at that game.

That surprised my wife. "Oh, hello Elaine. I don't think Jack is here today. I hope David looked after you."

Elaine gave her a long look, taking in the similarity with her mother. "David's been my knight in shining armour. You are lucky Janice."

Janice gave me a questioning look.

"Just let me have that in writing, Elaine and I will be on my way. The two of you may want to have a chat. Let me know if you want a hand with the van. Come on Sophie, let's take Jasper for a walk before it gets dark." I left while I was on a roll.

I got the rest of the story from Janice later. "Her husband was fucking the baby sitter. For three years, David!" I offered no comment. "She's only eighteen now." I did the calculation and made a disapproving sound. "I said you'd give her a hand unloading the van tomorrow."

"Off course I will. I'm glad you persuaded them to stay here. Where is Jack, for God's sake?"

She paused, as if getting her story straight. "I texted him while you were out with the dog. He went to Southampton today. He had to stay over. Elaine spoke to him."

It sounded odd, but I was tired and not listening fully. Truth be told, I was thinking about earlier in the evening. Me in the rocking chair in the conservatory like the Werther's Original grandad, with Sophie asleep in my lap. Janice and Elaine talking in hushed tones in the living room. Elaine's tears and Janice putting a consoling hand on her shoulder. But the thing I remembered the most was when Elaine came to take the sleeping Sophie from me. She had freshened up and brushed her hair. She leaned over to pick Sophie up and I could not help looking at her cleavage. I looked away, embarrassed.

"That's okay David, it's nice to know I can still turn a head." I looked in Elaine's eyes and my expression must have said she could do much more than that. All my old instincts were still there. She laughed and walked out with the sleeping Sophie on her shoulder. Elaine was different to Janice. A bigger woman, almost my height and curvy. I watched the sway of her hips, the way her calves flexed as she padded barefoot. At the door, she turned and looked in my eyes. Her look said I know you have been watching me. Then her smile said, I like that. I knew that smile was trouble.

Janice was saying something and that brought me back in the room. I leaned in. "Sorry, what did you say, love?"

"I said I would take Elaine shopping tomorrow in case she needs anything and--Christ, David, get that thing away from me. I'm not doing it with guests in the house. An attractive woman comes through the door and you're in heat."

"Is Elaine pretty, I didn't notice?" I got the snort, then the shoulder, so I turned in for the night.

I tried as hard as I could to resist Elaine's charms, and if it were just her, I would have coped, but there were two of them and I was head over heels for Sophie. She was as bright as a button and curious about the world. I now understood when colleagues said their daughters could wrap them around their fingers. I did not mind being Grandad David and having to learn a myriad of voices to tell her stories. One day I did not know I had an audience behind me when I was reading to her in the rocking chair. Sophie looked up and mimicked their shushing fingers against the lips. I turned round to find Janice and Elaine watching. I could not tell you how long they'd been standing there.

"I think you've lost David to a younger woman," Elaine joked.

"Even I did not think she would be that young," said Janice.

I turned back and Sophie giggled. I had no chance.

My feelings for Elaine grew gradually. I was used to lust; but this was a slow burn because the attraction was mutual and we were wary of something happening so close to home. On Wednesdays, we would look after the post office together while Jack and Janice went to the cash and carry. Once I would have fretted about what might happen between the two of them, now I looked forward to time I could spend alone with Elaine. She asked me about my role as a mentor and confidant to the young bankers and the advice I dispensed. I mentioned what I had done for Githe (not by name of course), and Elaine opened up about her unhappy marriage, undertaken in haste to get away from her mother with whom she had a poor relationship. That surprised me, everyone else referred to Jack's dead wife in saintly tones.

"Janice looks a bit like mum, but her personality is much kinder. She is the woman dad deserved," said Elaine.

"Thanks, that makes me feel so much better," I said.

"I didn't mean that... I mean they are just friends, right? There's nothing going on between them. I'm sure," Elaine stammered, embarrassed.

I looked in her eyes. "I know. Just like there's nothing going on between us." I wanted to kiss her, and she wanted me to. I was finding it difficult to breathe, and Elaine's face and neck had flushed. We were both excited but scared about what we would unleash if we took the next step. There would be no going back, and life would become complicated for the four of us. The shop door opened. Saved by the bell. "I'll put the kettle on while you serve Mrs Jenkins," I said, breaking her spell over me.

Elaine was like the daughter Janice never had. They had a closeness she hadn't managed with our boys, especially as they got older. I did not want to damage their relationship, so I kept myself out of temptation. It was difficult. Things simmered along for four months before the incident that escalated everything.

It was Sophie's birthday and Elaine was taking her home to see her dad for the first time in weeks. I was out when Janice took them to the station. When I came home, Janice was too preoccupied for her dressmaking. She stabbed her finger with a pin and it bled.

"I can't do this now, David, I'm miles away. I hope it's going okay for Elaine."

I had a worrying thought. "You don't think he'll knock her around, do you?"

"No, David. He's not like that. She just wants to know where she stands with Frank. Elaine wants to move on with her life, make decisions for her and Sophie. She says she is not bothered about him, but she looked lovely today. You don't do that for someone if you don't care anymore."

I felt jealous. Elaine was wasted on him. I could not let Janice see my face.

Janice packed her sewing away. "I said I'd pick her up from the station this evening."

"If she comes back," I added. I realised what a selfish man I was. The thought of Elaine fucking her husband was almost as unsettling as the thought of Jack fucking Janice. There was no God given reason I should be the only one to have my cake and eat it, but I could not be rational about my feelings for either of them. A normal man would feel forced to make a choice. There was my greatest failing. I never felt the slightest need to choose. How else could I have loved Janice and Janna equally for all those years without the slightest pang of conscience?

Janice was asleep on the couch when the call came at 9pm. I picked up the phone before she was disturbed. "It's no problem, Elaine. Janice is in the bath. I'll come and get you." She only said a few words in reply, and I could not work out her mood. I was in the car on the way to the station before I realised how covertly I was acting, but the truth was I needed to see Elaine's reaction for myself without having to worry about hiding things from Janice.

A tired-looking Elaine was sitting on the bench outside the station with a drowsy Sophie on her lap. Next to her were bags containing presents and a cage with a cover over. We got Sophie into the child seat that was now a permanent feature in the back of my Range Rover. I gave Elaine a hug.

"Janice was right. You look lovely. That dress, your hair."

"These shoes are killing me," said Elaine, pulling off the nude coloured four-inch stilettos.

"I don't think they are meant for walking in," I said, taking them from her.

"Well, they didn't get any other use," Elaine said sourly. "You know, he hardly ever rang. I wanted to see if he missed us. If there was any chance of reconciliation, for Sophie's sake. The truth is, he's moved on. I should not have wasted my time," she sniffed.

I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her and tell her how I felt about her, but this was not the place. Especially as the mini bus had just turned up to collect the Scout troop from their day out in London.

We drove off, and I held her hand, assuming Sophie was asleep. Elaine's eyes asked me questions I tried to answer telepathically. A real question from the back made me let go of it like a hot potato.

"Grandad David, do you have a girlfriend?" Elaine and I looked at each other, speechless.

"Why do you ask, sweetheart?" I wondered what intuition she had about me feelings for her mother.

Elaine shook her head at me to leave it.

"I heard mum and dad shouting. He said he has a girlfriend now, and she makes him happy. He said mum did not make him happy anymore."

I looked at Elaine, biting her lip, holding back the tears.

"You make mummy happy. She could be your girlfriend." Sophie's logic was faultless.

I looked at Sophie in the mirror and smiled. Elaine covered her face in embarrassment. I made light of it. "But what about Nanny Janice, she is my wife?"

"But mummy is daddy's wife, and he has a girlfriend." Sophie reasoned.

I winked at her in the mirror. "Do you know you are right, sweetheart? I wonder why I hadn't thought of that. You are clever."

"Well, will you?" Sophie was a dog with a bone.

Elaine laughed. "See what you've done, David

"How about this, Sophie? You are my girlfriend, and mummy is my girlfriend, and Nanny Janice is my girlfriend. You can have more than one," I said triumphantly.

Sophie thought for a while. "Yes, that's fair."

I looked at Elaine. "Looks like you've got yourself a job. If you want it?" She looked away, embarrassed. When she looked back, I was still looking at her.

"Stop it, David."

"I'm still waiting for an answer."

Elaine turned around and saw Sophie was drifting off and she whispered, "Yes."

I pulled up near the shop in the shadow before the streetlight and switched off the courtesy lights before we opened the doors gently. Sophie slumbered on in the back. I took Elaine's hand, and we stood in the shadow. In her heels, she looked me in the eye. I leaned forward and kissed her. The warmth of her mouth and her body against me had every nerve in my body tingling. I'd dreamed about this moment for weeks. We pulled away and looked in each other's eyes. "We should not be doing this," I said weakly. Elaine put her hands in my hair and pulled my face to hers. All resistance melted. We came out of the clinch panting. As the rush of blood in my ears subsided, I heard squeaking. Elaine heard it too.

"He bought her a hamster, a bloody hamster, I had to manhandle it onto the train. What was he thinking?"

I cupped her face in one hand, "The man is an idiot." Elaine kissed the palm.

"Mum, where are you, I want to show grandad my hamster." Sophie was awake again and eager for the off. We unhooked her and took all her presents in. Jack tried to hide his dismay at the hamster squeaking furiously on his wheel. `I must find some bloody oil for that.' He looked at the two of us, some sixth sense alerting him something had changed.

"I'll be off then," I said and turned for the door.

"Oh, I've left my bag in your car, I'll just get it," said Elaine.

At the car, we were in each other's arms in seconds. We kissed passionately. She could feel my hardness and my hand cupped her breast, teasing a nipple to hardness. Elaine moaned. "We can't do this," she said. At the same time pushing her mound against my leg. The heat of her pussy felt like a furnace. It was only a light going on the in the upstairs bedroom that made us let go. "This is madness," said Elaine.

"I know. But why are we grinning like idiots?" We looked at our reflections in the side window. Our guilt was plain to see.

"Give me tomorrow to come back down to earth before we do something stupid. Please, David."

"Okay, Elaine. You are right, we can't just think about ourselves."

When I got home, Janice had gone up to bed. "She came back then?" came her voice in the darkness. I did not want to switch on the light and give away my guilty coupon.

"Yes, love. She didn't say much. I don't think the reconciliation went well. She'll probably tell you everything tomorrow."

"I won't push her. She'll tell me when she is ready."

"You're right, Janice. We need to give Elaine space to sort herself out."

I waited until Wednesday when we were due to look after the post office together, while Jack and Janice went to the cash and carry. It was hard to resist the temptation to call Elaine, but Janice's change in attitude after she'd seen her seen her made me cautious. Janice seemed preoccupied and withdrawn, but not hostile. I don't think they had a confrontation because Janice would not have sat on it. She seemed worried about something else. I asked her if it was something I had done and she snapped, 'It may surprise you David, but you are not the cause of every problem.'

"In that case maybe I can be part of the solution," I said. Then she said cryptically that I was already helping and that she's explain more when she was ready. I didn't know what to say. She and Jack seemed a bit strained recently, and naturally I put it down to my growing relationship with Elaine, which must have concerned him. I thought I was being discrete, but as I was told later, I don't have much of a poker face with affairs of the heart.

It was a shock when Janice handed me an envelope, as I was getting ready to go to the post office for my shift on Wednesday. "It's from Elaine. She's gone away for a few days with Sophie to visit a friend. She asked me to give you this. I haven't read it."

My guilty tongue gave me away. "Janice, I don't want to hurt anybody."

"You never do, David. You think you can fix things and everybody can be happy with you. Life's not that easy." I heard Jack's van pull up on the drive and she kissed me on the cheek. "We may be longer today. Mrs Jenkins is coming in to give you a hand with the post office counter." She walked to the door and came back, "You're not a bad man, David." She kissed me again and hugged me. I did not want to let her go. The horn beeped again, and Janice left. I waited until I heard the van drive away before I opened the letter.

Dear David

I had to write this because when I speak to you; I don't think straight. You believe you can keep everybody happy and your confidence is infectious. I want to believe it. You make me feel good about myself and I have not felt like that for a long time. I know you have no problem loving me and Janice, and that arrangement worked for you in the past. But Janna yes, I know about Janna, was a thousand miles away. She never saw you daily. She never met Janice and got to know her and love her as I do. I could not be that selfish. I would have no happiness if it were at her expense, and neither would you. Three into two does not go, and then there is Sophie to consider. The safest thing is for me to go. I know my marriage to Frank is over and I am grateful for the love of both of you while I was licking my wounds; but it is time for me to get on with my life. I have the chance of a job in Dorchester and my friend Amy will put us up until I am sorted out. I'll be back in a few days to collect my things. God knows how Sophie will take it? I hope when things have settled, she can still come back and visit her granny and grandad. I'm sorry, David. I don't mean to hurt you, but that is what I have done. Please forgive me.

Love

Elaine x

My guts churned. I read the letter again, looking for a fault in her logic. Some trick I could use to convince her she was wrong, but there was none. The lie I had lived by half my life could not work here. I arrogantly assumed I had a special ability other men lacked. It was just an accident of geography. Any man with my opportunities could have achieved the same. I was no better than those men shagging their secretaries, or each other's wives. My foolishness was going to ruin things for everyone. It would deny Janice the daughter she always wanted, and the chance for us to be grandparents, even if it was by proxy. There was another solution I wanted Elaine to consider, but she would not answer my calls. I hated texting, but that was my only option open. It took several texts to say what I wanted.

Elaine

I am a foolish man. I have made a career of persuading people to do the things I wanted. I assumed my happiness was also theirs and never considered I was always getting the best part of the deal. Janna said she was happy with our relationship, but when a man came along who was prepared to make her the centre of his life, I stood no chance. I can't be that selfish with you, and I will not be the cause of so much unhappiness. I'm begging you not to move away. However unhappy I might feel is nothing compared to the devastation Janice will feel if you are not part of her life. And not seeing Sophie either, makes it worse. I'm sure the same goes for the two of you. So, the obvious solution is for me to be out of the way until things cool down.

I've been asked to work on a training course with the other mentors. The plan is to take it to our overseas offices. It means I will be in London more often and then overseas for a few weeks. Please come back and let's see if things can settle down. I am sure Dorchester will still be there in a few of months if we can't make it work. Give me the chance to do one selfless thing. Please come back.

Love

David x

I waited all day for a reply, but none came. Mrs Jenkins wittered on in the shop, but I was not very conversational, 'You're a quiet one, David, like my husband Alan. His mind always seems to be elsewhere.' When the lucky Alan turned up for the afternoon shift, I went home and moped for a while. I even prepared a chicken dish for supper from a French recipe, that's how keen I was to distract myself from waiting for the phone to ring.

It had gone six before Janice returned. She was surprised at the nice smells coming from the kitchen. "I was going to cook humble pie, but I found a recipe for something nicer." My joke got a smile, but Janice was upset and had been crying. "What can I do?"

"Just hold me, David, hold me." She wept gently against my chest.

I naturally assumed I caused her unhappiness. She had to know I was determined to do the right thing. "Elaine wants to leave. I've made things difficult for all of us. I've begged her to come back. I said I would keep away from her. Things can go back to how they were, I promise I won't be a problem. I can fix this." I was trying to convince myself as much as Janice.

She hugged me. "Not everything can be fixed David, even though I wish you could. I'm not crying about you. An old friend has just received some health news, the worst kind."

"I'm sorry. I hope you could comfort them."

Janice smiled. "Thank you, I think I can. I spoke to Elaine, she's coming back."

"You know where she is?"

"I've always known."

I looked at my wife. How did I ever think I could deceive her? "Do you know what was in her letter?"

I can pretty much guess. "She fell for you David, and she got scared."

"Do you want her to go away Janice?"

"Off course not, but I can't control that."

"I'll keep away from her. I'll be--"

"Working on the training course in London with the other mentors, then you'll be overseas for a few weeks."

My mouth fell open. "She sent you my bloody texts. Jesus!"

"She wants to come back. She asked me if it will be okay now you are calming down. I said yes of course. But David, I don't want you to back off. She needs my love and yours."

I was confused. "What are you saying Janice?"

"I'm saying I want you to find out how close your relationship with Elaine will get. I'm also saying I would like to sleep with Jack. I want to discover if I can be like you and love two people at the same time."

My mouth was on the floor. "Janice, if this is about punishing me--"

"No David, I am not doing this to you! I am doing it for me, okay? I will not leave you. I love you, just like you love me. But I want to know what it is like."

"Has Jack put you up to this?"

"I haven't even asked Jack if he wants to sleep with me yet."

I snorted in derision. Even being given the apparent green light by my wife to seduce Elaine, I was still jealous of Jack sleeping with Janice. That was bad manners, I'd be drummed out of the local wife swappers club at my first meeting. "Okay, Janice. I trust you'll tell me what this is really about, when you're ready."

"When I'm ready, David. Relax, you wife has just given you permission to seduce the woman you've been pining over for months. A smile wouldn't be out of place." Janice laughed at my awkwardness.

We sat down to my chicken Provencal. I hoped the wine would loosen Janice's tongue. But she asked for water and drunk that, hardly touching her wine glass. She smiled, having thwarted my plan to get her to spill the beans on what she was planning.

"That was a lovely meal, David. What's for afters?"

"I'll give you afters, you scheming minx." I took her hand and led her up to the bedroom. For the first time in my life, sleeping with my wife felt like adultery. And we both loved it.

Janice insisted on picking up Elaine and Sophie from the station the next morning. They stopped at our house on the way home. "Grandad David, Grandad David." Sophie flew out of the car and jumped into my arms like a monkey climbing a tree.

"Someone's pleased to see me," I said, looking at Elaine who smiled nervously.

"Say a proper hello you two. Sophie, come with me and say hello to the dog. Jasper has missed you," said Janice.

Elaine and I stood alone. I felt awkward, wanting to touch her, but wary. "I don't know what a proper hello is these days," I said. Elaine put her arms around me and kissed me full on the lips. Her tongue played in my mouth and I responded. "I see, it's just like the old hello." The heartache of the last few of days was over.

"Janice says she wants to try an experiment. She won't say what it is, but you are taking me and Sophie to the funfair tomorrow and she is spending the day with Dad," said Elaine.

"I see. All in the name of science."

Episode 5- I do like to be beside the seaside

There was a strange atmosphere when we woke on Saturday morning. I got up and made Janice tea and toast and took it up to her. We sat in bed in silence, thoughts heavy in our heads. My many infidelities although pre-planned had always been at a distance, both geographically and mentally. I'd had time to readjust. I had never gone straight from our marriage bed into the arms of another woman. Yet this is what we were planning to do today.

"We don't have to do this if you are having second thoughts, love."

Janice smiled. "Will you feel any different about Elaine tomorrow, or the day after?" I shook my head. "So, time won't change anything for you two, will it?" I didn't understand the significance of that remark until later.

I showered and dressed while Janice was still sitting in bed. She answered my querying look. "Mr and Mrs Jenkins can't get to the shop first thing. Jack is coming round after ten. Don't worry, we are going out." She read my mind and saw my distress at the image of Jack just climbing into my side of the bed. "I would not do that to you, to us. And I will try not to think of you in the arms of a passionate young woman, either." She got out of bed and kissed me. We stood for a long time looking into each other's eyes. "We will be all right David. You know we will."

"Whatever happens, don't forget I still love you. This is the first time for you. Don't feel you have to choose. You don't." I looked in Janice's eyes for confirmation she understood. I could not believe I was giving my wife tips on adultery.

"I know. I'll try to be like you. Don't frown David, I mean that as a compliment. I want to understand how that feels."

"Elaine said you called it an experiment. I just hope we can all live with the reaction, Janice."

"So do I, David, so do I."

I pushed my trepidation to one side when I saw Elaine. She looked lovely in a floral print summer dress that buttoned down the front. The wide brimmed straw hat gave her an air of elegance.

"Mummy looks pretty, doesn't she?" said Sophie.

"She looks lovely and so do you, Sophie. Let's try not to get popcorn and candyfloss over everything."

I gave Elaine a peck on the cheek, breathing in her subtle perfume, which set my pulse racing. Her face was flushed with nervous anticipation.

"I feel like this is a date," she whispered while Sophie wrestled herself into the child seat.

"I know. I feel excited and scared and full of anticipation." I cupped the cheek of her arse and she sighed and then remembered herself and slapped my hand away.

We headed towards Axminster for the country fair in the morning, aiming to end the day on the beach at Lyme Regis. As we parked up in the visitor's field, the scorching morning sun beat down from a cloudless May sky. Elaine slathered Sophie with factor 50 sun cream, making her look like a ghost in a little sun dress. She ignored all Sophie's complaints until she was finished. "Your turn," I said, producing a bottle of spray tan and lifting Elaine's chestnut hair to apply the lotion to her neck and shoulders. I massaged the liquid into her skin, hoping my caresses were not obvious to anyone looking on. The little sighs that escaped Elaine's throat were testimony my hands were achieving their true purpose. She backed into me, not surprised to encounter my hardness nestling between the cheeks of her bum. "What did you expect?" I whispered in her ear.

"You've made me wet, David. I'll be on the edge all day," Elaine complained.

"That's exactly how I want you," I said without sympathy. She wriggled out of my grasp before I could do more damage.

I looked in the boot and found an old white Panama hat. I put it on, and my Ray Ban Aviators, and admired my reflection in the car window. Elaine laughed. "You look so posh David when you go to work, but today you look like a Marbella gangster."

I guess my cream chinos and black Fred Perry polo shirt added to the wide boy look. I grinned at her, "You stick with me babe and I'll show you a proper good time," I said in my best mockney accent. Keeping in character, I pinched her arse.

Sophie laughed, "Grandad David, is being silly mum."

"He's being more than that love. Come on, let's see the other animals." Sophie put her daughter between us to stop my mischief.

Despite Sophie's litany of requests, we just about avoided buying every cute cow, pony, rabbit, duck, goose, dog and cat we saw. She promised saintly behaviour then threatened every sub juvenile delinquent act, culminating in, 'I'll be a proper little madam, you know I can be mum.'

Sophie was a hard negotiator, but Elaine held firm. I wondered why I could not recall similar scenes with my own boys, then I remembered they followed my regime of prep school and boarding school, because I'd bowed to pressure from my parents. For all they gained, we had lost something as a family. I would not repeat that mistake if I had my time again.

I bought ice cream, which cooled all tempers. Sophie fed most of hers to the small Jack Russell belonging to an elderly couple on the next picnic table. 'Your dad, didn't buy you an ice cream to give it all to Rusty,' said the old man. Sophie looked up, and I thought she would correct him, but she just smiled at me and Elaine. That smile said everything. Elaine had tears in her eyes and I had a lump in my throat. I was filled with so much love for both of them. This could not be wrong, could it?

Whatever reservations Elaine had seemed to melt at that moment. She held my hand when Sophie ran ahead to look at the stalls at the Steam Fair. She let me put my arm around her when Sophie was on the small children's rides, and when she went off to get kitted out for the pony ride, Elaine turned and kissed me passionately. "Now you know how I'm feeling, David."

Our afternoon on the beach at Lyme Regis comprised us taking turns watching Sophie turning cartwheels on the wet stand and trying to cool our passions by paddling in the sea. When Sophie found a friend to make sand castles with, we had time to ourselves at last. "How to you think Dad and Janice are getting on?" said Elaine.

"If they've got any sense, they'll be doing what I've wanted to do you all day."

She looked serious. "Are you all right with that, David? I mean, I think Dad is in love with Janice."

"Well, that makes two of us Elaine. But I am in love with you as well. Somehow, none of it seems wrong because we all know what is going on. Even so, I'm not dwelling on their details, just as I am sure he does not want a mental picture of us making love."

She gripped my hand. "Oh, David, I can't wait much longer. I'm so wet."

Now were this the beach at Cap d'Agde, I could have jumped her there and then with nothing more than a mild background commentary on my technique and polite applause at the finish. But this was England, not the South of France, and all I could do was promise to find somewhere to consummate our love asap.

The combined results of the sun, excitement, and a big dinner meant Sophie was out of it as we made our way home in the setting sun. I headed towards East Devon Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty, and pulled off the steep road leading to the Sidmouth and entered woodland. Trees and bushes hid the car well enough from the road, and the grassy embankment had lovely views of the town and beach below and the cliffs opposite. It was an ideal spot for my purposes and I hoped I had not stumbled across the local dogging hotspot where we might be joined by others.

After five minutes kissing and cuddling on the picnic blanket in front of the car where we could hear if Sophie woke, we moved up a gear. Elaine's nipples were poking through the cotton dress as I teased them between thumb and forefinger. My cock was numb from the erection Elaine gave me by stroking my crotch as I drove. We were desperate. My fingers fumbled as I tried to undo her buttons.

"Elaine, just take it off. For God's sake. There must be a hundred buttons."

"No, David. What if someone comes? I'll help you." She got on her knees and started undoing from the top while I did the same from the bottom. We met at the middle and I opened her dress like curtains. Elaine's body was all I had dreamed it would be. Firm, ripe. She bore more than a passing resemblance to that sexy TV cook, and I wondered if there would ever be a good time to mention this. For the moment, I contented myself with reaching behind and unclasping her bra. Her warm, heavy breasts were in my hands and my mouth moved from one creamy mound to the other.

"Yes David, suck my tits, suck them hard!" I did not need a second invitation. While one was between my lips, the other was being pinched between finger and thumb. Elaine moaned into the back of my head. My other hand reached down and found the cleft of her pussy through the soaking gusset of her white knickers. I teased the hardness of her clit with my middle finger, and Elaine stiffened and spasmed. She clung on to me as her orgasm released throughout her body. "On god David, I can't stop coming. It keeps going on and on. My fingers were inside her now to make sure she would not stop soon. The heat and wetness of her were incredible and the musky aroma overpowering. "David, I smell like a whore. I'm out in the open letting you finger fuck me and I don't want you to stop."

I lay her back on the rug. "Elaine, don't judge yourself. You are a beautiful, passionate woman who needs to be loved properly. Let me do that, please." Before she could object, my lips were on hers, then in the nape at that spot that turned her to jelly. They continued south, undecided between one breast and the other before moving on. She put up a hand when I got to her stomach.

"Don't look at my mummy tummy. I tried and tried, but couldn't get rid of it after Sophie was born." I batted away her hand and her objections, sinking my tongue in her belly button. "Oh God, David." Elaine was not fat, just full and rounded. She had a figure men wanted, and women's magazines did not feature often enough. Her tummy looked like she had polished off a big dinner, or as a thought flashed in my head, of the early days of pregnancy. I found that image so arousing.

She put up another token resistance as my head arrived at her knickers. "David, I know you can smell me. I should have a shower first." My tongue teased her clit through the wet cotton and she lost her voice, just whimpering each time I hit the spot. "Stop teasing me you bastard, and take them off." I pulled her knickers off and pushed her thighs to her chest. Her cunt opened like a flower, and I inspected the juicy pink folds before devouring her. Elaine squirmed; her hands were on the back of my neck as if she were trying to unbirth me. "God, David, you're eating me alive. You dirty man."

I looked up from between her open thighs, at the mounds of her belly and breasts, at her flushed, heavy-lidded eyes. "That's not dirty Elaine, this is. I rolled her hips up so she could see and then plunged my tongue into the puckered hole of her anus. The waves of pleasure soon replaced her momentary shock and disgust. I lid my thumb inside her pussy, searching for her G-spot while two fingers scissored her clit. The sensory overload was too much, and Elaine arched off the rug as she came again. She froze while I removed my tongue and fingers, then she slumped down and curled onto her side. I held her in my arms. "It's still going, David. Minor tremors like aftershocks in an earthquake. I've never come like that before. And you were in me everywhere, everywhere David. You pervert. But I'd do it again. I'd let you do anything to me to feel that again. God help me." She looked away, embarrassed.

I turned her face towards me and kissed her. "Elaine, I make no apology for what I do to you. I love you trust me to make you feel like this."

She looked in my face. "Do you do this to all the women you sleep with? Make them want you like this?"

"Only the ones I love, Elaine. Just those."

She pushed me on my back and tugged at my shirt. I helped her to get it over my head. Her teeth nipped at my neck and my nipples. She threw a leg over me and sat on my stomach. The hot wetness of her open cunt made me groan. She leaned forward, grazing my lips with her breasts. I lifted my head to catch one, but the minx pushed my shoulders and levered herself away. I tried to get my groin up to hers, but again she lifted out of reach. She could see how desperate I was to be in her, and somehow the balance of power had returned.

"Just fuck me Elaine, I can't last much longer." She dismounted and undid my trousers and pulled them down. My aching cock sprung up, the slick head straining. The warmth of her mouth replaced the momentary cool of the evening air and it was my turn to moan and squirm. She worked the whole of my seven inches into her mouth. "Elaine. This is fantastic." Her head bobbed for a while and I had to warn her. "Be careful, I'm going to come." She withdrew her lips and grasped my bloated cock. Her thumb massaging the sensitive underside of the head. I was powerless in her hands.

"David, I want to you fuck me as hard as you can. Don't be gentle."

I flipped her on her back, using my arms to draw her knees back as far as they could then thrust into her open wetness. There was no resistance, and that was just as well as any friction would have had me spunking immediately. She felt my sap rising as.

"Don't worry, David. I'll sort it out afterwards. I want you to come in me. Fill me, David. Fill me with your come."

It hurt as I came. Not just because of the hours of hardness today, or the weeks of thinking about this moment, or the months of wanting her from that first smile. It was all of it. I was reckless; I wanted to fill her. Make her pregnant so that way there would be no argument. She would have to stay, we would have to make it work, Janice would understand that. I experienced a moment of guilt before my ejaculation, but then it was upon me and my hips had a life of their own. Elaine's teeth were in my shoulder and my head was full of images, Elaine, Janice, and Jaana all morphing in to one another, combining and separating and combining again. A feeling they were all connected through me. And then a feeling of peace, of guiltless bliss.

My consciousness returned. She smiled through her tears. "There's so much of it, David. I must make sure I get the morning-after pill." She felt me straining inside her. "Oy you! Do you want me to get pregnant?" She looked at my face. "You do, don't you?"

"It's an idea, isn't it?"

"God, you're worse than a sixteen-year-old. It's a wonder you haven't got a classroom full of kids by now."

"I've never wanted more kids with anyone else... before now."

"Well, it takes a lot of talking about first. For a start -- "

"Mum, where are you? Look at all the stars," said Sophie.

Me and Elaine looked at each other and started dressing.

"Where are you, mum? Where is Grandad David?"

I was more presentable than Elaine, so I stood up in front of the bonnet. Sophie had not undone her seat belt. "Your mum had to go for a wee. She won't be long." Elaine gave me a scolding look and tried to stand up, then realised the sense of what I was saying. She crabbed sideways towards the bushes while I came around the car on Sophie's blindside.

"Look at the stars, Grandad David."

The panoramic roof on the Range Rover framed the sky. I sat in the back next to her. A minute later Elaine was back doing a terrible impression of a woman who had not been fucking. She dropped her underwear in the front foot well and joined Sophie on the other side of the car seat. She kissed her daughter on the forehead and mouthed the words `stop grinning'.

"Let's make a wish on a star," said Sophie. She grabbed both our hands and screwed her eyes closed in serious wishing.

I mouthed `I love you' to Elaine. She mouthed back, `I love you too.'

"Come on, you two. I wish for--"

"No love. Wishes must be secrets. Isn't that right, David?"

"Your mum is right, Sophie. Your wish must be a secret between you and the stars."

Only the bedside light was on when I got home after dropping off a sleepy Elaine and Sophie. I washed in the downstairs loo, trying to remove the worst evidence of my adultery. I stepped into the bedroom and Janice looked up from her magazine. She was wrapped in a fluffy nightgown with a towel around her head, having covered her tracks more thoroughly. I searched for signs of a difference in her face and found them as she did in mine. Neither of us had reconsidered. I did not know what to say to her. I opened my mouth, but the words did not come. I lifted my hand towards her and she jumped out of bed and flew into my arms. We hugged, clinging on for dear life, trying to make sure what we had done would not prevent us from reconnecting.

"So, what's it feel like to be like me? That was the experiment, wasn't it?" I said gently.

"You probably can't remember how you felt the first time. When you came back to me afterwards. There have been so many times David."

I did not want a fight. "I only fell in love once. And that was not on my first time. But when it happened, I felt so guilty and when I came back, I was so in love with you Janice. Then I did it again, and knew I did not have to choose between you and the guilt went away."

"Do you love Elaine? I mean, really love her, David?"

"Yes, I do. I'm sure of that. What about you and Jack? Have your feelings changed?"

"Despite what you may think, it's taken me a long time to fall for Jack, but I do love him. Different to what we have, but it's love all the same."

"What about him?"

"I've never seen a man so happy. He said so. He showed me." Janice could not look me in the eye.

"Did you go somewhere nice?" Despite everything I'd done, my instinct was to get jealous, and I fought it.

"We went for a picnic in the countryside."

"Snap. Alfresco loving for you too. Was he--"

"David, I will not tell you the ins and outs, let's just say everything is in proportion and leave it at that."

"Oh, I see. Okay then."

"David, I am sure you did things to Elaine that made her hair curl, and while I can imagine them, I prefer not to at this moment. So why don't you do the same?"

"Janice, I want nothing to change between us. I meant what I said." I leaned over and kissed her. Gently at first, and then with passion. She undid her dressing gown, naked underneath, and we fell back on the bed and set about rediscovering each other like dogs marking their territory. I kissed her everywhere I'd imagined Jack kissing her. Janice twisted and presented herself to me to reclaim and then demanded the same from me. I was desperate for her, and she felt the same. I pushed her back and opened her legs. Her pussy was swollen and red when I presented my sore cock to her.

"Be careful David, I'm sore down there," said Janice.

"So am I love."

We did not last long. We did not want to. And we both came from penetration alone. A rarity these days and somehow proof that we still belonged to each other. Afterwards, we lay in each other's arms. We had survived her experiment.

"What have we done, David? We've made two people fall in love with us, and now we are responsible for them. Are we the village swingers?"

I laughed. "I don't think so, love. Swinging is just about physical gratification. No strings. What we have done is different. Let's figure it all out in the morning."

We fell asleep in each other's arms and despite our fatigue woke with the morning birdsong. We looked at each other and wordlessly Janice sucked me to hardness and mounted me, riding me to a reluctant but necessary orgasm. Then we fell into the sleep of the dead and did not open our eyes until lunchtime.

I made us tea and noticed the note on the doormat. It was from Jack asking us to come over in the evening. I showed it to Janice. "I do hope he will not do something stupid."

"No, I think he wants to share some news with us." Janice would say no more.

It was eight pm when we arrived at the back door of the shop. Sophie was already bathed and in bed as tomorrow was a school day. Jack and Elaine sat at the round pine table that took up most of the compact cottage kitchen. She smiled nervously at me, and Jack looked pensive. The atmosphere was oppressive, and I had to change it. I walked over to Elaine and took her hand, lifting her from the chair, and I kissed her tenderly. She resisted at first, then the tension flowed out of her and my Elaine was back. I looked at Jack and Janice. I did not know what I was expecting, but I was surprised, not that they were holding hands, but that they were smiling at us.

"You see; I know my husband, you need not worry Jack," said Janice. "He doubted how sincere your feelings were for Elaine."

"I love her Jack, and I hope she loves me."

"Yes, I do David. It scares me, but I do," said Elaine.

If there was anything strange in her confessing this to her father, the man who had bedded my wife only the day before, it did not occur to the four of us. We sat at the table, a more relaxed quartet.

"Thank you for coming, David. I didn't know what you would want to drink, so there is tea in the pot and this." Jack pushed forward a half-finished bottle of whiskey. I poured us both a glass, but the girls declined and opted for the tea. Jack downed his in one, steeling himself to say what he had been sitting on. Janice grasped his hand to give him courage, and for one moment, I thought he would say something stupid about wanting Janice to leave me. Janice saw the look in my eyes and shook her head subtly.

"I've been having tests done... for the last three months." Jack was having difficulty prising the words out, but all our minds were far ahead of him. Elaine held his other hand, "Dad," and then reached for mine. I saw the tears in Janice's eyes and took her hand. To any onlooker, we looked like we were holding a seance. "Actually, love, that's where I was the day you came down and I was out. Janice took me to Southampton to see a specialist. I had to stay overnight so the Barium could flow through my body before they scanned me in the morning."

I knew this scene from Janice's mother. "Jack, I'm so sorry."

"Thank you, David."

Elaine was one step behind the rest of us. Neither understanding, nor wanting to believe what she was hearing. "You will be all right though, Dad... Dad?"

"No sunbeam. I don't think I will be, I've got--"

"No Dad, no!" Elaine hugged her father tight, as if her grip could keep the words and whatever dreadful news they would impart locked away. Her tears weakened Jack's resolve, and he broke down.

"I'm sorry, sunbeam. It's too far gone for drugs or an operation to make any difference. I've got a year to eighteen months. Janice and David love you and Sophie, they'll be here for you."

"Dad, there must be a mistake. Another doctor's opinion." Elaine was desperate to find an alternative, and my heart went out to her.

My wife held her hand. "We've tried that. We've seen other specialists. When you thought we were at the cash and carry on Wednesdays, that's where we were. We went private because of the NHS waiting lists. David, I'm afraid I've made a hole in that bonus money you got," said Janice. Jack nodded; grateful Janice found the words for him.

"Janice it's only money, and it's your money, anyway. If there is anything else we can try, Jack?"

"No, and thank you, David. I did not want to do it because of the costs, but Janice persuaded me to do it for Elaine and Sophie's sakes. I don't know what I would have done without her," said Jack.

"I could not let him face this alone David," said Janice.

And then I saw it all. So much of my life had been driven by my heart and my dick, I looked to those two as the source of any issues in a relationship. I'd interpreted the change in Jack and Janice's relationship as them having second thoughts. All that time I pursued Elaine without a care, they had been dealing with life and death issues. I never felt more ashamed than I did at that moment.

"Jack, it's no secret I've been afraid how your friendship with Janice would develop. I said to her that whatever happened would not change my love for her, and I mean that. I was prepared to give up Elaine to maintain that, even though it would have broken my heart. Whatever love and support you need from Janice over the coming period, you will have no problem from me."

Jack looked at me with red eyes. "Thank you, David. You are a very lucky man. You get to spend the rest of your life with two women who love you. Many of us don't get one."

Men are emotionally stunted. Gestures are a poor substitute for the words we should say. We did what two middle-aged men do, when confronted with the rawness of our feelings. We shook hands. His big calloused paw had carried a wounded colleague, held a baby, taken a life, and mine soft, made for seduction and signing contracts.

We agreed to leave the medical talk until another time and instead talked about the practicalities of running the shop for as long as Jack could, and exploring options for what to do afterwards. These were business problems that I could contribute to, and I agreed to lead as Jack's representative. Janice and Elaine would share medical care when things got worse. We left Jack and Elaine to talk about all the things they needed to do before his time ran out.

Back home we sat in bed drained by the emotional upheaval of the last 24 hours. I looked at my petite wife going through her moisturising routine of the last thirty years that had stolen back ten years from the ravages of time. I thought of how she had engineered the situation since she found out Jack's cancer was terminal. She had played us all masterfully.

Janice looked at my face in the mirror. "The doctors think it is another symptom of Gulf War syndrome. Jack told me about some places they attacked in Kuwait. They always feared a chemical attack."

"I thought Gulf War syndrome was a psychological condition. A delayed mental trauma and breakdown."

"So did I, David. But there is evidence in later life many of the men who did not have a mental breakdown then suffering acute diseases later. It's as if the shock of combat has given them delayed illnesses. One consultant said that further stress may keep them at bay until the sufferer is psychologically well enough for them to trigger."

"That is bizarre and cruel, Janice."

"Think about it though, David. Jack went from campaigns in Kuwait to Bosnia to Afghanistan and then Iraq during his twenty years. Then into a stressful marriage, marred by his wife's terminal illness. His focus has always been on something else. Now he finally has space for himself, his body is giving up. He has three different cancers. He can't take the doses of chemo and drugs necessary to treat them all."

I thought of my career during the same period. Chasing deals and pussy all over Europe. Not exactly a meaningful existence to justify my expensive education. "The poor bastard. Finally, he gets some peace, meets and falls for you and thinks everything is good and, then that happens to him. Poor you too. You find a soulmate and then... after your mum as well. I'm so sorry, Janice."

Janice sniffed her tears away. "I know David, thank you. I must admit, finding a man who wanted me and who had none of your complications was very flattering. If wanting me was enough, then I would have slept with him long before I did. You've always wanted me, but now I know you need me. I know you would give up everything else up to keep me. Jaana, Elaine, and whatever other distractions were not enough. But now David, Jack needs me. He needs me to help him face the end. I'm glad you understand that." She got into bed and cuddled into me for comfort.

I hugged my wife. "If Jack's last days are more bearable for being loved by you, how can I be petty? I'll be there for you during and after. And for Elaine and Sophie, I'll give them everything they need."

"Just love them, David. We all need your love. You are good at that."

Episode 6 - End game

To outsiders, Jack seemed fine for the next three months. Only the three of us knew the increasing doses of pain-killing drugs he was taking each day, or noticed his subtle loss of physical power. Lifting boxes and packages he would not have given a second thought to before, now required a technique. The three of us took a bigger share of running the shop and post office. Our social arrangements also became more complex. Two or three nights a week Janice would slip out under cover of darkness to spend the night with Jack. Elaine would make the opposite journey to our house.

Our love grew despite the sad circumstances. It was almost as if nature had programmed our bodies and minds to carry on, regardless. More than once in the afterglow of our lovemaking, we discussed how guilty we felt in our happiness when that same opportunity was not available to Jack and Janice. Elaine did not want to talk about the future because that meant accepting her dad would die. I wanted to reassure her about everything, but she was not ready to acknowledge she had anything she needed to be reassured about.

I could not sort out the business as I had hoped. Post Office HQ was on a programme of closing small village post offices and replacing them with counters in other shops. Jack's branch narrowly escaped the axe on two previous occasions. We would not be lucky a third time, now he'd informed them of his illness. They would take back the premises and accommodation when he was gone. Elaine was not his wife, so they had no obligation to her. I made an offer to take over the premises and set up a franchised coffee shop, but they had a much better offer from one of the major supermarkets who wanted the shop for one of their small branches. The locals would go for convenience shopping over another coffee place, so I had no chance.

I discussed our next steps with Jack over a Sunday barbecue in our garden. Janice and Elaine were preparing salad in the kitchen while we flipped burgers and sipped beer. Sophie was half way through platting Jasper, who'd flopped on the grass and let her get on with it.

"We must tell her something soon," said Jack, nodding at Sophie. "I mean about my... you know. She seems okay about you and Elaine."

"She asked me to be Elaine's boyfriend ages ago, so I guess she's okay with it all."

"I don't know how you do it, David. Get women to put up with only having half of you and be happy about it. They are not stupid women." It was a genuine question.

I smiled. "It's because I don't give them half of myself, Jack. They don't feel cheated, because they are not being."

Jack shook his head. "I guess your heart is always in the right place, even if your dick isn't." We looked at each other.

"I think you've just written my epitaph, Jack." We erupted in belly laughs at my graveyard humour. "To be serious for a moment, you know I have had no luck with my coffee shop proposal. My real motive was to give Elaine a home and a business that will keep her here, not to spend my remaining days playing Arkwright." He laughed. "I never said I was a saint. Well, I will split the problem in two. This garden is too bloody big. I don't want to cut the grass every week. So, if I build a chalet there; single storey, a couple of bedrooms, lounge/diner, bathroom, bit of a deck; I've got less to mow. What do you think?"

"You'd do that for Elaine. Build her a home?"

"She needs her space, some independence and security, so she can tell me to tell me to fuck off and close her door when I get on her nerves. If I try to keep her here, she will want to go. But, if she can go when she pleases--"

"She'll want to stay. Now I see how you do it, David." Jack raised his bottle, and we clinked beers.

Elaine came out and warned us to talk less and cook more, as they did not want to eat burnt food. "Anyway, what are you two gassing about?"

We looked at each other. "Shopping," said Jack, and "Shoes," I added. "What are you two talking about in the kitchen?"

"Football and cars," of course. Elaine skipped away, swinging her hips in a way that was guaranteed to get our attention. We watched her go.

"I'm building a bird cage, Jack. It'll have the thinnest bars you've ever seen."

Jack had another nine months before he went into a hospice. He saw the completion of the flat pack chalet, which we christened with a bottle of champagne and a takeaway curry. As his condition worsened, Jack had home visits from a MacMillan nurse to provide palliative care to him and support to us. Whatever thoughts she had about our relationship to him, she kept to herself. We had Jack's best interests at heart, and that was all that concerned her. Similarly, the villagers who speculated about my relationship with Elaine and Janice's with Jack, kept any lurid thoughts to themselves once the vicar gave them the news of Jack's illness, as he had been asked to.

A strange thing happened. At first, the shop was very busy as people tried to show their concern by buying more. It was nice to see their support. Then, as Jack became too ill to appear behind the counter, it was as if they were embarrassed or afraid to be in proximity to his illness. I could understand it. The big brawny man who held those shopping bags out on arms of iron had withered and had trouble lifting his teacup in both bony hands. Sometimes it was too much to see and you would find one of us crying quietly in silence.

Elaine and Janice took turns spending days with him in the hospice while I looked after the shop. I visited on Sundays with Sophie. Jacks' deterioration was much starker for me. By the fourth Sunday, he spent most of his time under heavy sedation and was only lucid for moments. I knew he did not have long. At the end of our visit, I stood with Sophie at Jack's bedside. I looked in his eyes and saw a man who realised the fight he could not win was ending.

I forced a smile onto my face. "You need to say goodbye to Grandad now, Sophie. He needs to take a long sleep and will not wake up. He won't be in pain anymore, he'll be happy." Jack reassured his granddaughter with a nod.

Sophie gripped my hand and looked at my tears and then back at the bed. "Are you going to die now, Grandad Jack?"

"Yes, Sophie. I have to go. I will miss you and your mum, and I will miss Granny Janice and my friend David." She kissed him and put her head on his chest. Jack tried not to wince at the pain of this simple act. I took his thin hand. "You'll look after them. All of them. You promise, David?"

"I promise, Jack. I'll see you later."

We sat in the car crying. A seven-year-old girl trying to comfort me through her own tears. How does this come so naturally to woman and so difficult to men?

Jack died two days later. Elaine and Janice were at his bedside.

The wake was in our house and garden. The entire village and a good number of Jack's army buddies came along after the funeral. One or two of the bitchy wives made pointed comments about how Jack and Elaine must have been comforted by all the support Janice and I had given them. I leaned in to one woman and whispered in her ear, `You can't buy it by the hour, like the Pilates class in the village hall.' Her shocked response confirmed my hunch she was fucking the instructor. I have a nose for these things.

By the time everyone left, we were exhausted. Elaine and Sophie took a spare bedroom and Janice and I slumped on our bed, still in our black threads. I turned to comfort her, and we lay head-to-head on the same pillow, our tears mixing on the damp cotton. After a couple of minutes, we recognised the sobs coming from the spare room and Janice got up and brought them into our room. I lay in the centre of our bed with the Janice's head in the crook of one arm and Elaine and Sophie in the other. Did I feel like a Sultan with his harem? No, I just felt like a man trying to comfort his family in their grief.

Episode 7- Epilogue

It's been two years since Jack died, and if you have read this far, I suppose you are interested in how things turned out. A month after he died the Post Office's polite enquiries on when Elaine would vacate the premises became more insistent. We spend a tearful day moving things she wanted to remember her father by. Sophie is at the local school and has her friends over most days. Their chalet is a popular hangout. I thought I would want peace and quiet in retirement, but what gives me greater pleasure is the sound of children's laughter coming from the garden. My only regret is I did not experience enough of that with my boys when they were her age.

Elaine has made friends with the other mums and one or two have offered to fix her up on dates with brothers, cousins, friends of their husbands etc, but she has not been interested. I told her if she ever wanted to go back to a monogamous relationship, I would not stand in her way. Her home was safe (I put it in trust for Sophie early on). She said she did not want to. There would be something missing. I told Janice what she said, and she was also horrified at the thought. What we would lose could not be replaced.

For me, this has been the happiest time of my life. I have always been able to give my heart to more than one woman. I thought it was my greatest failing. It turns out it is my greatest achievement. My conscience is clear of the lies and deceit that often accompany relationships like ours. I'm most happy for Janice. After putting up with me for years and then suffering the loss of her mother and Jack, she has found pleasure and contentment in her relationship with Elaine and Sophie. She has found a daughter to be a friend and confidant. In Sophie, she has an eager receptacle for her knowledge and wisdom. Elaine has a friend and a mum to make up for the fractured relationship with her own mother.

And me? Well, my eye still wanders, but my feet don't follow. To cheat on one wife is bad, but to betray two is an actual sin. Those of you with my prurient nature are wondering if it is all three in a bed orgies every night. I'm sorry to say the internet has misled you. I sleep in one bed or the other, several times a week. It is about the intimacy, although we have all become more highly sexed. You might think I am in charge of our relationship, but that is far from the truth. The two of them are crafty women and when they combine, I have no chance. I think they enjoy duping me, although I'm not complaining. It was my fifty-seventh birthday a few weeks ago, and I reached across the bed to Janice who slapped me off saying she had too much to do and went downstairs into the kitchen. Then Elaine buzzed the intercom to say I had to take her place on the school run and pick up the other kids. I arrived home an hour later muttering about sticky handprints all over the leather seats. Not even a cup of tea or a card to greet me. I trudged up the stairs.

"In here, David."

I pushed open the bedroom door and there stood Janice with just a red bow around her neck and the tiniest pair of matching knickers.

"You remembered Janice," I grinned.

A voice came from under the duvet and out got Elaine, dressed the same way.

My face must have been a picture of shock.

"Perhaps we should have got him socks instead," Janice laughed.

I threw them both down, and the bed became a mass of arms and legs and breasts. I did not know what to kiss and caress first. They stripped me and agreed that Janice should have the first go. She mounted me and bounced up and down. Janice was as excited as me to have an audience. I persuaded Elaine to straddle my face and as she sank down on me it was bliss. I was trying to put in the performance of my life, but when Elaine raised herself to allow my tongue to find her clit, I could hear the two of them chatting away! Janice was grinding me and I knew I would not last long. I didn't know if I would have something left in the tank for Elaine, although she did not seem bothered. `Go on Janice, fuck him, make him come, empty his balls.' She drew Janice's head onto her shoulder, which allowed me to drive into her with little finesse. I emptied myself and sank back, but poor Janice was still on the brink. Between Elaine's thighs, I saw her hand snake between Janice's legs and rub her to orgasm. Afterwards, I drew them up either side of me and lay there with the cheesiest grin.

"Thank you, Elaine. I only meant to get David started, but I got carried away. I've never had an audience before. I didn't realise how excited I would get."

"Or audience participation," I said. My dead cock twitched at the memory.

"You weren't supposed to see that," said Elaine. "I didn't want to embarrass Janice."

"I'm not embarrassed, just surprised that I enjoyed it so much. You know just where to touch, Elaine."

"Oi!" I complained.

"He's worried he'll be out of a job," said Elaine.

"No, he would just sit there and watch," said Janice.

All this talk was getting me fired up again, but I was overoptimistic when I mounted Elaine with a semi on and it went flat. I will never forget the image of Janice pulling my flaccid cock out of Elaine and sucking it back to hardness before inserting it again. She squeezed my balls to make sure I kept it up to the end. I fell on the bed exhausted after coming twice in half an hour. As I lay there, Janice returned the favour, bringing Elaine to a noisy orgasm and then cuddling her as it subsided. They had given me a birthday I would never forget.

Days like that are rare enough to be special. I mean, you don't want Christmas Dinner every day, do you?

I don't know what the future holds for us. We are happy for now. With luck, it will be happily ever after. The problems are not with us, but with a society that finds it difficult to accept our polyamorous relationship is a proper choice between consenting adults. Western society is set up to believe monogamy is the only option, and all the legal institutions reinforce this. Polygamous relationships are assumed to be exploitative and demeaning. I can't argue that some aren't. From what I can see, in most Muslim relationships where the husband has several wives, he treats them like domestic servants. Because they are not seen as equals in the first place. To me there is more equality in Mormon marriages, but they use religion to justify the arrangement. I don't think religion is a good excuse for anything. Perhaps the day will come when I can 'marry' Elaine and we can all go out and I can introduce my wives with no sniggering. Gays have earned that right. Why deny me? Simple demographics show we are living longer, and women are outliving men. Why deny all those widows the security of marriage and the companionship of a female friend?

In conclusion, all I can say is, don't knock it until you've tried it.

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