Hate Me, Hate You

Hate Me, Hate You

And hate me hating you

There are so many of these stories on LIT. I was reading yet another in which the jilted husband starts drinking too much and moves his money around, although there is no later mention of the cheating wife finding out. The dude moves to the spare bedroom in defiance of his wife's telling him she is spending the night with some other man, blah, blah, blah...

The unparalleled bitch does a 180 upon return, trying to "make it up" to her hubby, then the crying starts. "There isn't going to be any divorce," she claims, like thousands before her. Our hero has limited options due to the state's divorce laws. The kids, like always, never get any say in the decisions surrounding the dissolution.

Now, the funny thing is, I can almost envision where these fictitious couples live in the country based on how the characters behave and whether the family at large sides with the cheating wife.

Saddletramp is one author who doesn't F**k around with his characters. They take decisive and controversial action. But honestly, from just east of Bellevue, WA, to the Florida Keys, most states have a small county with few people, no sheriff, no judges or jury of your peers, just roads with steep drop-offs, where things that are no longer wanted end up. And they were created intentionally for just that purpose.

"Whoa, hang on, Gas," I can hear some of you. "You're not suggesting that murder is a just punishment for cheating, are you?" Of course not. I do not condone that at all. What I'm saying is that shit happens every single day in real life, and not just with wayward spouses, so why do all these hubbies hide in the spare room until they can figure out some ill-conceived master plan? Well, that's somewhat rhetorical because I think I figured out a solution here. As always, I'm sure you'll let me know.

This story was a collaboration with Strikesandballs. It was a pleasure creating it together.

Relax; it's just a story, people.

[Copyright 2025, all rights reserved, including section 107 of US and International copyright law. Conversion of this work to audio file is strictly prohibited]

I wasn't always like this. Perhaps that isn't true; it's hard to say for sure. Maybe it was always there, just below the surface. Justice was always a thing for me, at least justice that fit the crime. Besides, when someone fucked me over, I was able to turn off my feelings towards them. Maybe I should tell you my story.

I'm John Corbin, married to Leah, unfortunately, for eighteen years at the time, and father to Christopher, sixteen and a half, and Hallie, fourteen. I say it was unfortunate, but it wasn't always that way.

I met Leah near the end of our freshman year at college. Her bubbly personality, gorgeous face, and smile drew me in hard. Leah was always a little on the plump side. 'Pleasantly,' I think people call it. No one would call her 'fat.' That was fine by me because I wasn't into petite women; no skin and bones for me. That had to do with an earlier relationship, so I'll rewind a bit.

My dad was a drunk, and a mean one at that. He liked to dole out beatings when he was drunk, which was six-point-eight days out of seven. He never laid a hand on my two younger brothers, only me. Mom caught him once when I was twelve, and she divorced him. People always said it was a disease and not his fault. I couldn't accept that. He knew what he was doing. He had to choose to beat me as well. He drank so much, so often, that he never seemed any different, drunk, inebriated, or sober, so both things were clearly a choice.

Leah's parents were nice to me but it soon became clear that they weren't enamored with me. Leah's sister, Lorna, was a bit of a different story. Where Leah had that plumpness, Lorna was a scrawny beanpole and awkward, almost goofy. She played power forward on her high school basketball team. Leah also had a more rounded, prettier face, and it was easy to see that Lorna had spent her adolescent years dealing with her inability to compete with her sister's looks. And Leah interacted with her as if Lorna was her lady-in-waiting which, over time, soured Lorna's impressions of her big sister.

I always tried to be kind to Lorna. Early on, I sort of felt sorry for her, and it was easy to engage her. Over the years, though, I found Lorna to be smart and easy going. She always had trouble cracking a joke; that was just her self-esteem, but she sure grew on me, no pun intended.

As she grew and her basketball talent emerged, she began to display that confidence that seems to befit successful athletes. By the time she was a senior, she was still a beanpole but she showed the beginnings of a body maturing into a woman, with her hips and curves seemed to be trying to emerge.

So, Leah and I got married at the age of twenty-four and one year after getting our college degrees. We were in love, after all. Those early years were both exciting and difficult. I went to school for an engineering degree, and Leah for accounting. I put myself through college with a little help from my parents and by working as an apprentice in a machine shop. After graduating, I found I liked the work and stayed on.

Chris was born twelve months after we married, which meant Leah put her career on hold to raise our son. Not even two years later, Hallie joined our crew. Those were tough financial times, and our stress was through the roof, even though we enjoyed our children. Looking back, they were what grounded us.

Five years later, once Hallie was in kindergarten, Leah went back to work with a larger accounting firm. At the same time, I decided to open my own shop, which further strained our money. Still, we worked hard, Leah in a job and raising the kids. I spent the first year looking for clients and a partner. Often, Leah or I would have to pick up the kids at her parents after school, and I'd see Lorna, who was then 'Auntie Lorna' to Chris and Hallie.

Like many families in our situation, we didn't start to realize the fruits of our labor until the kids were heading to junior high school. If it sounds horrible, it wasn't. We had love and lots of it. The sex was better than good, at least if what she was saying and how she was behaving were good indicators. While love doesn't solve everything, it's always mandatory for a cohesive and successful family unit. At that point, I had absolutely no concerns regarding fidelity or loyalty.

It was as Hallie was preparing to start high school that I became uneasy. Nothing ever stays the same, and I embraced that, but Leah seemed unsettled occasionally, almost longing for something. I couldn't put my finger on it, but whenever I asked her about it, she would blow it off as nothing, which was my first red flag. There had been changes of any kind concerning work or our social lives.

Proactively, I did some research. The first thing that came up in my search online was the ten signs of a spouse cheating. Leah exhibited only a few. Boredom, uneasiness, and anxiousness were all things that seemed to affect women as they got older and saw themselves as less attractive. Again, she was a bit chubby, but in a good way - I thought it added to her sexiness - but women can be their own worst critics when it comes to their appearance. A few articles pointed to the beginning of menopause. I certainly didn't like that word. It sounded too much like man-o-pause. Besides that, Leah was the same person around me and the kids.

I kept a close eye on things. Our sex life remained the same, meaning no more or less than usual. I first booked a trip to Sedona for Valentine's Day and another to Monterey, California, later that year for her birthday. She seemed appreciative and the 'unsettled' Leah disappeared for a week each time but my sixth sense was telling me she still wasn't all in, that there was still something preventing her from completely rejoining the family and the marriage. The trouble was that it didn't take long to return - whatever it was. I tried talking to her about it several times and then pushed the issue. The kids were out with friends on a Friday night, and Leah was relaxing in the family room.

"Leah," I said nonconfrontationally, "we need to talk."

She put her phone down and looked at me as if to say, 'Go ahead,' but then she saw the serious look on my face.

"Okay," she replied carefully, "as long as we're not going to that same tired conversation again because if we are, my answer is the same."

"Listen to me, " I exaggerated sigh. "It's only a tired conversation because you won't engage. You won't let me in. Something is clearly bothering you; it's like you're putting up a wall. I've been patient because you're my wife, and I owe it to all of us to try to work through it with you, but my patience is running out."

That was the wrong thing to say. "What is that supposed to mean?" she asked indignantly. "Are you threatening me?"

"No. I don't own you, nor will I tell you how to live your life, but you are my wife. As long as you are my wife, I expect we will communicate to resolve any challenges we may face. You've changed these past weeks; you know it, I know it, and the kids certainly feel it. Don't you want them to feel secure, if not for me, for you and me? Please let me in so we can solve this together."

That started a big fight that was far from the original topic. Honestly, it was the biggest fight of words I could ever remember with her. Nothing was solved, and she ended up leaving the room, entering our bedroom, and locking the door in some sort of faux protest.

It was a very cold weekend after Halloween, but it was sunny and warm outdoors. I'd been given my second red flag.

Leah apologized on Monday evening for her attitude and words. She reiterated that nothing major was wrong; she was just going through a 'lull,' as she put it, but my gut burn worsened, telling me she was just going through the motions. I wasn't buying it despite her nearly fucking me senseless that night.

The following day, with sobriety absent the ecstasy, I had that old sinking feeling again. Getting back into it with her and re-explaining the give and take of a marriage seemed a waste of time to me. I was at a loss as to what to do and didn't like that. I'd been a take-charge type of person, so I was definitely in uncharted territory. I reflected on our lives together, our family, and other times we'd fought about things or been under stress.

Thanksgiving was, as always, a big family affair. Leah's father lived in an expensive senior community in Florida ever since Leah's mother had passed six years earlier. My parents also retired recently and purchased a much smaller condo one state over. The kids loved and missed their collective grandparents, which made the day even more special. Lorna had moved into a townhome with former teammates, getting established in her new job as an entry-level analyst for a data firm. Her excitement was palpable as she regaled us with stories after dinner. The kids were captivated by their auntie!

Whether Leah's attitude and demeanor changed in the weeks between one big holiday and another, I'm not sure. Perhaps it was just the grind of the season, shopping, and other things that drew your attention during that time of year. Leah reminded me one night that her company's holiday party was scheduled for December 15, one week away. The accounting firm did very well for themselves and their one hundred or so employees. Ever since the pandemic, they'd decided to combine the festivities with their awards presentations, which used to happen at the firm's summer barbeque.

The party night arrived, and I watched Leah as she got ready while I did the same. The first thing I noticed was a new dress. That, in and of itself, was nothing new. Leah liked to look good in public and, by association, for me. She was primping herself, though, so I enquired.

"Babe, you look stunning! I am certain every guy's eyes will be on you... you look beautiful; you are beautiful!" She still had a tummy, but it didn't turn me off. I felt like jumping her right there, dinner be damned!

"I might be getting an award tonight," she responded, nonplussed. "For finding that large discrepancy in McMahon's books." She had indeed found a significant transpositional error for McMahon, one of the firm's largest clients.

I didn't have to wait long as things changed for me shortly after we arrived. After being greeted by several senior managers, I was sitting at our assigned table, and Leah was across the room chatting up a storm with another group of four women, only one I'd previously met. They were sure having a good time, almost like schoolgirls with a secret. I watched carefully and tried to calm my mind until a tall, good-looking, well-dressed man joined the group and was welcomed into the suspected gossip. At least that's what it appeared to be, without hearing their conversation, and the tittering among them got my attention. On the other hand, he looked like a stallion moving in among his mares.

After nearly half an hour, I decided to remind my wife that I'd accompanied her. After getting a glass of her favorite wine from the bar, I walked up to the group, stood right beside my wife, and slipped my arm around her waist while I whispered, "Hey, remember me?" When she turned to me, her face turned red and her eyes darted to the side, toward the guy, then to her friends. That was when I first knew there was a problem, or should I say, the source of my problem?

"Oh, hi, honey," she said with a giggle and looked around the circle at her friends. "Ladies, this is my husband, John." She introduced all four of them.

The women all gave cheeky little smirks and greetings, and as I looked and acknowledged each of them, I was greeted with an array of pleasantries and sidelong glances as if they knew something I didn't. Then, my wife touched my forearm and turned me gently toward her.

"And John," she said proudly, "this is Bryce Densmore, our new boss. I'm sure I mentioned him to you a few months back. He's heading up the local team for a few more months before heading to our West Coast office." I had, in fact, heard the name only once before.

There wasn't an exact thing that I could put my finger on but my gut was churning again... and I learned long ago to trust my gut even when my brain was telling me otherwise. I shook hands with him; nothing macho on either of our parts. We were both about the same height and build. He didn't do anything alarming, but as soon as he let go of my hand, he immediately went back to talking shop with the women, as if I'd simply disappeared. Worse yet, Leah ignored my presence along with the rest of them.

Finally, feeling like a fifth wheel, I returned to our table. I was extremely pissed with Leah, not for enjoying her workmates or party, but the dismissiveness and disrespect she showed me in front of people she worked with.

Twenty minutes later, the CEO took the mic and asked everyone to be seated. Leah returned to our table, all smiles and acting as if we'd just arrived. She was clearly the queen bee that night and I was a mere drone.

"Oh, is that for me?" she asked of the wine I'd never bothered to hand her when I'd previously walked over to her. Leah looked at it and almost downed it in one go.

Leah finally began to include me in the banter around the table, and I wondered if she did so only after recognizing my soured mood. All too quickly, after the salads arrived, top brass took to the microphone to talk about the company's financial year and then the awards began.

Leah did receive accolades and said a few words. Densmore spoke first, about what a hard worker she was and how valuable her attention to detail was to the firm and the client. Leah thanked her team and, of course, Bryce Densmore for his tutelage. Her gaze toward him as she delivered her comments looked to me like a high school freshman out meeting the starting quarterback, and I questioned my decision to remain.

Finally, after dessert, Leah seemed to remember I was there. The band started up and she asked me to dance. She said little on the floor and we whirled about, and I could tell she knew what she'd done to piss me off. Keeping quiet, her head remained on my shoulder for the two slow songs we danced to. It took all of my resolve not to call her out, so I told her how proud I was of her award.

As the night wore on, she had other dances with some of her new friends. A few women approached me, but I politely declined, too enthralled by watching the spectacle that was my wife. As I was becoming bored with it all, Densmore approached her on the way back to our table, and she headed right back to the dance floor with him.

I felt a hand on my shoulder as I watched. It was Barbara Long, one of Leah's co-workers whom I knew well. I knew she was married to one of the company's senior managers, Will, but I never recalled ever seeing them together. She was alone when she approached.

"Hello, John," she said carefully, maybe forlorn. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"Barbara! How good to see you again." She took a seat next to me, but really at my back since I was facing the dance floor.

"Leah seems to be enjoying herself tonight," Barb said nonchalantly, probing.

"Yes, quite," I replied.

"She's done well working with her new team. Will has mentioned that her work and results have been noteworthy." She added, "It is not a surprise that she won the award."

"Funny, that," I said with emotion. "I didn't know anything about a new team. I only heard the name Densmore once, over dinner and that was four or so months back."

She raised her brows for a split second before regaining composure. The song was ending, and Barbara decided to say what she came to.

"John, keep your eye on Leah," she warned. "Densmore makes the company a ton of money. He's a shark. He's also got quite a reputation with the ladies, those other four Leah was talking to earlier, to be exact. She's always been smart, and I know she loves you and the children to death. In this case, I think she's in over her head and neither of us wants to see her get hurt."

"Something you'd like to confess?" I asked, turning to look her in the eye.

"No," she adamantly told me. "But I'd be worried about the future if I were you."

That was enough for me. Even if Barbara hadn't approached me with her ominous warning, I'd have suspected.

After we left the party, I said very little to Leah. I wanted to think some things through before any possible confrontation. The drive home was brief, but the silence between us and the tension in the air made it seem like forever. Deep down, again trusting my gut, I talked myself into not saying anything I may regret, resisting the anger that had built up over the evening. Barbara's words hung heavily. At the same time, I knew I couldn't wait long.

We spent a stiff, quiet weekend, neither of us seemingly wanting to start a conversation. I'm sure the elephant in the room was a wonderful distraction to her, while to me, I was already writing her off. Then, on Sunday night, I came and sat with her in the living room and turned the TV off.

"I think we need to talk about Friday and the party," I said quietly but firmly.

"Okay," she replied, dragging out the word. "Talk about what?"

"C'mon, Leah, how long are you going to play this game?" I half scolded. "All the 'new' things that I'm curious about. Care to enlighten me about your last several months at work? Isn't it time you came clean about what's going on?"

"Sure," she said with a sigh. "I've been very busy, working with a new team set up for our larger or multi-national clients. It's been... crazy and rewarding. I get along with the new women on the team. Additionally, there may be some travel soon to clients' world headquarters or conferences."

That wasn't what I expected, but it was telling, nonetheless.

"I see," I tried to remain neutral in my tone. "That's perfectly understandable but why will you not use me as a sounding board? No one has your back as I do. You've been distant and then you diss me in front of your co-workers. And this Densmore character? Your new boss? Tell me about him."

Leah blushed slightly but regained her composure quickly. "Don't tell me you're jealous, John," she said with fake incredulity. "He's my boss, and yes, he's young and handsome. That doesn't mean we have a thing. He's been very helpful, teaching me some shortcuts to finding discrepancies, like the one I was awarded for."

"Okay, for the record, I'm not jealous. Should I be? I'm your husband, but I'm referring to the way you interacted with me or didn't interact with me for most of the night. I realize these are as much networking events as holiday celebrations, but you see these people every day. You treated me like shit, like you'd rather I wasn't there. You don't know how close I came to leaving you there alone to fend for yourself and, after you swooned over him in your acceptance remarks, I kicked myself for remaining. I did nothing to deserve that kind of treatment."

"John, Honey, perhaps I could have handled it better. I'm sorry if I treated you poorly. That was certainly not my intent. Perhaps you're being too sensitive. We're bonding as a team; this was an opportunity to do so in a social setting. I also thought that you are more than capable of holding your own in these situations rather than me holding your hand all night. You really would have left me there alone?"

Her look was one of determination and conviction that she had done nothing wrong. "I strongly considered it but didn't because I thought my place was to remain and support you during your night despite the disrespect. Your reluctance to discuss whatever has been bothering you with me also has my attention. The way you and they tittered around Densmore was embarrassing."

I could see Leah wasn't going to give it up, which saddened me.

"You know, these used to be employee-only gatherings simply to avoid the occasional spouse or significant other being offended or worse at comments or gestures or dancing; you know, kinda like an employees' night out to let out steam and meet each other in a social setting. Despite what you think, you have nothing to worry about."

I could understand embarrassment, and simultaneously, I wouldn't tolerate lies. She was smitten, or that's how she looked at the party. The women on her team grouped like a cackle, giddy with whatever secrets they seemingly kept from the company at large. I suspected at least a few had already slept with Bryce Densmore.

But suspicion was all I had. Barbara's comments added to the spark that began the night's fire, and now, my wife's matter-of-fact, business-as-usual, no big deal attitude had me in full gallop.

Christmas came and went in a whirlwind, as every parent can relate. Leah was back to being her old self, and I began questioning Barbara's ominous warning. We spent New Year's Eve at a friend's party and enjoyed our night. Returning home, Leah had had several drinks and wanted to get frisky. More than frisky.

We did it twice that night, not going to sleep until the wee hours. Leah was uncharacteristically aggressive, quickly taking me into her mouth, a rare occurrence, as soon as we made it to our bedroom. She even tickled my ass with a finger until I came. Emboldened, I did the same and found that she warmed to the intrusion of my finger there, bucking on my hand, which she had firmly rejected in the past. We fucked twice after I'd returned the oral favor.

It wasn't until the morning that the little hairs on my neck began to stand up again. Sure, it was New Year's, and we'd let our hair down, but my wife was rarely the aggressor. It was just enough to get me worried again because things were lining up just as I had expected when I first started playing out this shit show in my head.

As it turned out, I didn't have much time to dwell on things. When I arrived home that following Wednesday, Leah was already there, cooking a nice meal for the family. Chris was allegedly doing homework at a friend's house, and Hallie was at cheerleader practice. I jokingly asked about the special occasion, but Leah blew it off.

After a really nice dinner catching up with the kids, Leah joined me to watch some TV. She sat much closer than usual, locking her arm in mine, which put me on alert. Just before ten, she told me during a commercial that she had to attend a conference from February 9th to the 13th.

Ahh, there it was! Any doubt was now gone as Barbara's words shouted back at me.

"Who else from your firm is going to this conference?" I couldn't help myself. A part of me wanted to keep things close to the vest, but it was difficult then.

Leah looked at me strangely, as if I'd asked the one question she didn't want to have to answer right out of the gate.

"Karen, you may remember from the party," she said, then hesitated. "And Bryce... Mr. Densmore, of course."

Of course, I thought. "Where is the conference?" I asked, not wanting to go further down the attendee list or seem perturbed by it.

"Philadelphia," she vaguely replied. Then, she changed subjects. "Hallie will need a ride home from school late that Thursday night. They have an away game, and she rides back on the bus."

So, my wife would be gone for five days and four nights. She'd return the day before Valentine's Day, which was a Saturday that year. I had little time to try and get her head out of her ass, but mostly, I had to plan for the worst-case scenario.

I decided I needed to do some research to better prepare myself for what appeared to be a runaway train wreck of a marriage. I didn't limit my knowledge grab either. Telltale signs of infidelity and divorce were the first topics. Then, I started reading about the psyche of the cheater. Certain romance novels and stories of cheaters online. Even though men most often cheat, the number of resources about cheating wives was abundant. They often cheated for emotional reasons, like becoming an empty-nester or having a younger, attractive man pay attention to her, those types of things. Rarely, but sometimes, it was the dreaded 'change of life'. Sadly, Leah was exhibiting more of these symptoms as time passed.

Living in a suburb of Boston, in the state of Massachusetts, meant my ass would get scorched in a divorce. It didn't matter who cheated on whom, and the wife had to be a literal axe murderer to lose custody of the kids. Mine were old enough that the family court would consider their desires of where to live and with which parent but it wasn't a given. That came down to the luck of the draw and the judge who was assigned the case file.

I had the trappings of a preliminary plan in case my loving wife went off the rails. That wasn't good enough, though. There were too many variables. I had to think about living quarters, my kids, what leverage I'd have, etc. It saddened me that I was already thinking of Chris and Hallie as 'my' kids instead of ours.

My kids were old enough that they'd be moving on with their own lives soon enough, whether that meant college or something else. But for Hallie, at least, that would be four years. So, right off the bat, I knew I would do nothing to disrupt their lives, recognizing that the expected estrangement between their parents would be difficult enough. I could carry out my plan and still live in the house for a while. If my plan played out, it would be her who was begging for a divorce.

Those two-and-a-half weeks leading up to her conference were the strangest in our relationship. First, she gave off vibes as if she knew I'd found her out or at least figured some things out. That didn't stop Leah from going; on the contrary, she simply avoided any meaningful conversations with me, as had become the norm. It almost seemed like her strategy was to do her thing and then either come home and pretend nothing happened or try to make it up to me. Then, the thought occurred that I had always been the reliable one, her rock, and she knew I was blindly in love with her. Maybe she thought she would get laid and return, thinking we'd go on as if nothing happened.

In any event, she wouldn't address the elephant in the room; she would just ignore it. I let my lousy mood flow, so there weren't any unanswered questions on my side. I was short with her and spent more time with the kids, especially on the weekends.

A couple of weeks before the conference, I phoned Barbara. "Well, John, nice of you to call. What may I do for you?" with a seemingly knowing tone.

"I'm very concerned, Barbara, recalling your comments at the party. Leah told me she's going to a conference in Philadelphia next month. She's never gone to a conference before. Densmore is among her colleagues attending. Should I be concerned?"

"Hmmm... no more than I suggested at the party, John. Her role has expanded due to her excellent performance; part of that is periodic attendance at off-site conventions and meetings. Densmore always goes as the team leader as did his predecessors."

She went on to describe that while they had more daily contact, it was usually with the rest of the team working on their current projects. As senior leaders, Leah and Karen often met with Densmore on performance and priorities. Rarely, if at all, had she seen them alone.

"I don't like it and your comments keep ringing in my ears! Things have been strained now for weeks and now this. I don't like it and she refuses to discuss it."

"I would remain cautious. Perhaps there is nothing to worry about. But her refusal to engage you doesn't sound good. I wish I could help further, John, but I really don't know what else to tell you."

"Damn! Well, you've been straight with me, so thanks."

As planned, I lost my bad mood the week before her departure and became friendlier, loving, and attentive. At first, she seemed confused about the change, but when she gave into it, I figured out far too late that she'd gotten the completely wrong idea about my behavior. While I was trying to show she was at least worth fighting for, she misread it as me somehow acknowledging and accepting her time away and what she'd be doing.

The worst part was that we didn't talk about it until the day she was scheduled to leave. When I got home, her suitcase was packed and ready by the front door.

Leah came down from the bedroom dressed in business casual as if she were simply going to the office. She started telling me all the things a loving wife does to keep me organized while she was gone.

"The meatloaf is in the oven," she started, "and the timer is set. I have mashed potatoes covered on the stove and corn in the microwave. Tomorrow's pork chops are in the fridge and ready to be heated. Don't forget Hallie on Thursday, and I suppose you three are on your own that night. I also..."

In a moment of weakness, I reached for her, grabbing her shoulders and peering straight into her eyes. I say weakness because I'd already made my plan and hardened myself to it and to my soon-to-be unfaithful wife. "Look at me, Leah, look at me! Please don't go," I stated sadly. "Just make the call and tell them you can't. Your going will cross a line you cannot cross back from."

My wife's expression was unreadable, and she literally took a step or two back, just studying my face for a few moments. She looked as if she was seriously considering my plea but I was dead wrong. Unfortunately, she quickly moved back from me, undeterred. She'd already made up her mind.

Leah didn't hug me. She reached for my hands with both of hers, looking for something in my eyes she couldn't find.

"This... trip doesn't have to affect us in any way," she said with a hint of pleading in her voice. "It's just a conference."

"I think we both know better, Leah," I bitterly replied, bitter because she'd shown her true colors then. I wanted to say, 'It's a conference covering for something more sinister and destructive,' but I had no more desire to try and stop her.

"But we don't know, my love," she quickly responded. "We don't know. Neither of us, not yet. And if you happen to be right, I'd be, I don't know. I'd be compelled, maybe obligated if something like this ever happened to you - you know - in the future."

The fucking bitch was trying to negotiate a hypothetical mutual hall pass on her way out the door. I couldn't believe my ears. At that moment, I was proud of myself for planning what I had. I shook my hands free of hers.

I knew her well enough to understand what she was doing. She was trying to understate and also lessen the gravity of the situation. I decided to make my position clear, just this once. She'd never hear it again and there would be no second chances.

"Leah," I said after a deep breath. "This right here is your last chance to do the right thing, the best thing for yourself and our family. It's certainly not the time to try striking a deal. There will be no negotiating hall passes or time outs when you return. I won't tolerate what you've done; by then, it will be too late."

"Don't, Honey," she tried a sweet approach. "I have to go. It's too late to cancel now. Don't belabor, don't overthink anything while I'm gone. There are no concrete plans besides the conference. I know you love me and you want what's best for me. You know I love you; always have and always will."

There was so much wrong with her words and demeanor. She made light of our vows and told me essentially not to spend four days 'worrying' about us.

To her credit, I guess, she leaned forward, not for a real kiss but a slight one on my cheek. Pissed, I pulled back and glared at her in disgust. If there was any doubt in her mind, it should now be perfectly clear to her. She grabbed her bag and turned back towards me at the door.

"Seriously," she stated, "have a nice week with the kids, and don't dwell. Tell the kids I love them." She hesitated for just a moment, "I love you too, mister."

Then, she was gone. I slammed the door behind her, so she could not have missed it. I'm not a big drinker but I had to calm my nerves just then, so I poured a glass of whiskey and plopped down in my recliner. Nothing would ever be the same again. Fucking that prick or not would have no bearing on my plans, because in my mind, she was already cheating emotionally, and so seriously disabused my trust that there could be no redemption.

I organized my thoughts, which I did often. The worst part for me, if I had to categorize, was her lack of respect for me after all these years. She was doing something she knew I'd never approve of, with not a care, or maybe thinking she knew me well enough that she could wiggle her way out after returning.

Was she planning to cuckold me past this initial time? Had she done it with him before, already making me a cuckold? I had no idea since I clearly didn't know my wife as well as I once thought.

I'd planned for these emotions, too, but still... I had had no idea how strongly they would wash over me. Leah had decimated our family, not only me. I kept refocusing my mind on the end result. I decided I wasn't going anywhere; I wouldn't be forced out of my own house, and if things worked out, she'd eventually feel exactly what I was right then.

There was no time to wallow; I had things to do. I texted Dennis, the PI I'd hired a week earlier, and simply said, "She's on her way."

The meatloaf looked ready. I started the corn and texted Chris and Hallie to come home for dinner. That evening, I listened intently to my children as they went on about their day, their friends, and everything else important to them. I'd always considered myself a good father; however, listening to them, I realized things were happening in their lives that I had no idea about. That was going to change.

It was one of the best interactions between us in quite some time. I learned about Hallie's troubles on the cheer team with some mean girls. Chris told me he wanted to attend Northwestern because two of his best friends had applied there.

After cleaning up, I set up everything for the next day. What a day it would be and that was why I'd called off work for the next three.

In the morning, I had breakfast ready for the kids. I didn't want to add to their troubles or dump anything on them right before school. They'd be a bit shocked when they came home, but I was already prepared to order a few pizzas and break it down for them.

Ten minutes after they left, two trucks pulled up, the first hauling a front loader and the other the building supplies I had ordered.

Our house was in a nice neighborhood. We were on the side of the street where the town's river ran behind our home. Others on that side had the same 250 feet of backyard, sloping down toward the gentle river. Some had extravagant decks seemingly floating off the upper floor of their homes, which from the street was the main floor. Others had the lower floor or basement dug out to rent out the lower floor and make some extra income. That was my plan, but not to make extra cash.

The front loader made easy work of digging out a section of dirt about five feet wide where I'd put the new door and grading the slope from the front to the back. I piled the spoils right next to an area where I would build a raised bed garden.

After a break, at about 10:00 a. m., I got to work on demoing the doorway and started to build a frame.

Leah never went into our basement, which, when I was finished, wouldn't be considered a basement anymore. The first year we were there, she made me buy the double-stack washer/dryer and put it in a hallway closet upstairs. The kids never went down there either, calling it a 'creepy' place. It was going to be my new apartment.

After lunch, I called my attorney, Pete Bronson. We were college roommates and were thick as thieves for years afterward. When I'd first called, he was shocked to hear what had gotten into Leah. He actually asked me if I'd been dipping in the well.

I asked him if he had everything ready to go, which he did. When I asked about our backup plan, the dissolution of marriage papers, he asked me if I really wanted to go this route. I assured him that I'd put plenty of thought into what I was doing and conceded there was always a chance it might go south. That was why we had contingencies.

As soon as I hung up, my phone pinged and, by habit, I answered.

"Hello, John," a very quiet and guarded female voice replied. It's Lorna. Remember me?"

"Very funny," I almost growled. "What's on your mind?"

"John!" she squeaked. "What bit you in the ass? You must be having a bad day."

"Your sister just destroyed our marriage." I'd said it. That was not part of my plan. I backpedaled a bit. "Or maybe not. We'll have to wait and see."

Lorna knew me too well. "But she went to a conference..." She seemed to stop herself while running through the different implications in her head.

"John," she said slowly, "is something going on... at the conference?"

"Lorna," I tried to regain control of the conversation. "Please, don't ask me anything more. I shouldn't have said anything. If I'm wrong, I don't want your parents to find out."

"You can't leave it hanging there, John," the concern in her voice was apparent.

"There's a man," I almost choked up. "I met him at her holiday party. She's... taken with him. She all but told me she might be with him, in the Biblical sense."

"She told you?" Lorna asked incredulously. "Told you what, exactly?"

"I don't want to get any further into it," I told her with finality. "I'll just wait until she comes back home."

Lorna kept trying to grill me for another two or three minutes, but I held my ground, promising we'd talk about it next week if my suspicions bore true.

"John, please listen to me. If you're telling me what I suspect is true, and there is no reason for me not to believe you, you need to let it out. Meet me for coffee tomorrow night."

"Bu..."

"No buts, damn it! Just be there!" Where was that awkward, skinny pre-teen that I had sought out so long ago? Christ, she was beginning to sound like her sister!

Chris arrived home first because Hallie was at cheer practice. I heard him slowly walking around the side of the house towards the backyard.

"Dad!" he exclaimed, "what the hell... um, heck, is going on?"

"Hey, son," I greeted him, all smiles. "Doing a little renovating. What do you think?"

Chris stood there, stunned. "Are we taking on a renter?" he wondered.

"Not exactly, Chris," I told him somberly. "I'll explain tonight over dinner when your sister gets home."

The pork chops were good. Leah had called during the meal preparation to see how we were getting by without her. Checking up was more like it if I knew her at all, which was seriously up for consideration at that moment. After talking to our son, I told Hallie to say hello and that I was too busy at the stove to speak to her.

"Kids," I started after dishing up the apple pie and ice cream, "we need to talk about a few things." They both gave me the 'Ya think' look.

"Your mother and I are having a very rough patch in our relationship right now," I said honestly. "I think the best move is to stay here but to change the living arrangements a little."

"A little, Dad?" Hallie asked sarcastically. "What did you do?"

When Chris saw my facial expression change, he said, "Holy shit! Okay, what did Mom do?"

"Kids," I ignored the questions. "I'm not getting into our marital troubles with you. If you really need to know, I'll speak to your mother when she gets home, and we can have a family meeting."

We talked some more, and I answered their questions the best I could without giving them the gory details. They wanted to know if we were going to divorce, of course, and I left it open. I answered their concerns honestly but chose my words carefully.

Afterward, we hugged it out. The next day, I focused on reframing the space and dividing the new rooms. My engineering degree came in handy. By the time Chris came home, I was altering the old ductwork. He helped me for a bit, holding the metal tubes over his head as I quickly attached them.

At 5:00, I ordered pizza for the kids and went to get cleaned up for my quasi-date. Hallie saw how I was dressed and came up to me, sniffing.

"No aftershave," I said clumsily. "Just having coffee with a friend."

Lorna was there waiting for me, dressed casually, looking as good as I'd ever seen her, yet looking sternly right into my soul. She stood up and we awkwardly struggled through a friendly hug. We were usually more comfortable.

"Thank you for meeting me, John," she got right to it. "I know my asking was a bit strained. Please know that I am concerned for you and the kids."

"Not a problem, Lorna," I replied. "Afterward, I realized I needed someone to talk to, and you probably fit the bill as her sister."

"Well," she said thoughtfully. "Our relationship, hers and mine, has always been tense. I may not be the most logical choice."

Lorna and I talked for nearly an hour. I explained how everything went down, and she took it all in, listening carefully and even grabbing my hands into hers as the conversation grew in detail and emotion. Then, she asked me what I wanted to do.

"I already know what I'm going to do," I told her truthfully. "My family is my main focus and I need you to promise to keep quiet about everything I've told you."

"I will," she affirmed. "But you need to promise to keep me in the loop. If you end up being right, you can't go through this alone, John. Think of the kids."

"Trust me, they are the only priority now."

On Friday morning my new bed arrived. I hadn't split our money yet, and that was on purpose. I kept meticulous receipts for everything I'd purchased that week. The big king-sized mattress and box spring barely fit through the new doorway.

Just after noon, I received a text from my private investigator. "Have everything you'll need. Forwarded to your attorney," was all it said. Seconds later, I received two files. The first was a short video, which looked to be taken by the hotel security camera at the end of a hallway. It showed Leah and scumbag entering a room, his arm around her waist, guiding her in. He stopped for a moment, looking both ways up and down the hallway, and then went inside.

The second showed Leah leaving the room of the man I came to call "Densless," in a simple hotel robe, carrying her shoes and dress. The time stamp showed five in the morning. I had to sit down a moment.

She'd done it; my wife had done the unthinkable. I'd promised myself I wouldn't get emotional. That was a promise I was unable to keep as I cried for ten minutes over the loss of something I considered sacred.

The kids and I ate the last prepared meal from the fridge that night and then I hung a bedroom door. They helped clean up the furniture down there. I think Hallie could read my emotions that night as she gave me a few random hugs, telling me she loved me.

I told the kids to head upstairs as Leah would be home any minute. I heard her enter the front door, all animated and excited to see the kids. She must have wondered where I was, but I didn't hear the door to the stairway open for almost ten minutes.

She came down, her mouth hanging open as she looked around. Finally, her eyes met mine.

"What's... what is all this?" she hesitantly asked.

"My new apartment," I said proudly. "Would you like a tour?"

Her face got red, and her eyes became slits. "That's not funny, mister," she tried to sound angry through the anxiety.

"I agree," I shrugged. "Still, that's what it is."

She looked away. "Why?" her question barely a whisper.

"You know why," I stated. There was so much I wanted to say right then, to start the confrontation, but I didn't. I had a plan and also a broken heart to go along with it. "There will be plenty of other changes around here as well, but we'll discuss them tomorrow after we've both had a good night's sleep. Now, if you don't mind, I need to do a few other things before I turn in for the night."

She stood there, staring at me with uncertainty. "What?" she asked incredulously. "No hello, no kiss or hug? What the hell is going on with you, John?"

My mind almost exploded! I wanted to scream, "What the hell has been going on with you?" All those times I tried to get her to open up, but I decided to stay with the plan.

"I said not tonight, Leah! Besides, why should I greet you any differently than how you left us?" I raised my voice and gritted my teeth. "Go upstairs and spend some time with our children."

Leah didn't want to go. She stood there staring at me. After all these years, had she not known, her hands would have been on her hips, with an 'oh, no you don't' look on her face. Instead, I saw fear there. I guess I knew her better than I thought.

The kids couldn't leave the house fast enough on Saturday morning. They were smart enough to know we needed some space. Leah clearly didn't get a good night's sleep either. She came down the stairs at about 8:00. I had breakfast ready and poured her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," she said, still a little shell-shocked, as I placed her coffee in front of her.

"French toast?" I asked nonchalantly. She sighed and nodded.

"John, I..." I cut her off.

"Not just now," I sternly said. "I want to enjoy my breakfast, then we'll talk."

We ate in silence. I deliberately bored into her with glares, not taking my eyes off her, if for nothing more than to increase her discomfort, if there was any. She looked away more often than at me.

I cleared the plates and poured more coffee for both of us. I never imagined I'd have to pull a sales pitch on my own wife about our shaky future together.

"Okay, this is the part where I talk, and you listen," I ordered. "If you have questions, save them for the end, understand?"

"John, I don't like your tone," she began, thinking she could lord over me and ignore what I'd told her. Apparently, she had completely forgotten or disregarded my last words when she left. "Whatever is going on, we need to work through it. I know you're upset, but we can work things out. Nothing's changed."

"Leah!" I slammed my hand on the table, hard. "Shut the fuck up and listen. I don't care what you like or don't. And my tone is the least of your concerns. NOW you want to work things out after all those times you stiff-armed me when I asked to do the same before you betrayed us. Everything's changed because you went to Philly. I'm about to lay it out for you. First things first, did you do it?"

Her mouth was open again, like the previous night, and her rapid eye movement betrayed her. She was trying to decide whether to lie or not.

"Yes," she finally said, looking away.

"How many times?" I quickly came back with.

"What?"

"How many nights, how many times?" I interrogated.

"Two nights, three times," she replied. She was starting to gain some of her muster, preparing for an argument.

"Damn it!" I corrected. "I know all about your conference and what you did after hours. My question was how many men and how many times during our marriage."

"None." She said it as if it were gospel, like it should go without saying.

"There's the trouble." I gave her a look of pity. "I don't believe you."

She just sat there, speechless.

"And I suppose he fucked your friend, the other two nights," there was no question mark in that statement. She seemed bewildered but bent on regaining control.

"I told you about it," she injected. "I know you figured it out at the Christmas party. I explained it might happen and even gave you permission for the future when it happens to you."

I'd had four days and plenty before that to shoot down all her weak justifications. "Just so we are clear, I require no permission from you to do anything - none whatsoever. Just as I was clear, I cannot and will not control what you do or don't. That's just a bullshit justification, Leah, because when you told me, told not asked, I made it clear that was against it."

"No, it isn't. I've been in a funk for a while now. He was nice, I was attracted to him, a mutual attraction I suppose..."

"Yeah, sure," I interjected. "Now you want to open up about what's been going on. Of course, he's attracted to you. He's been married twice before and has kids. Probably a few he doesn't even know about. To him, you're just another hole to fill, nothing more. If you think you two have a future, think again because you and I don't."

"I know about his marriage and family." She waved dismissively. "He didn't try to hide it when I asked, and I told you he was leaving for the west Coast office soon, so it doesn't matter how he or I feel about each other. Look, John, I needed this. I'm sorry it hurt you. I truly am, but it doesn't have to be like this. Please don't dismiss our future over a small weekend. Living down there doesn't help you or me or the kids."

"That's your opinion," I corrected her. "I've already decided. You made your plans, Lee, that didn't include me or the kids, plans that broke apart all that I considered sacred. But I'm a planner, too. I've been planning since the party. You have no idea."

"I suppose I don't," she admitted after a long pause. "Not really. I expected you to be furious, hurt, but you are too calm and resolute now. I expected I'd have plenty to make up for, to prove my love for you, but I don't see any of the love in your eyes that used to be there. I haven't lied, so I wasn't concerned about trust. I knew you would feel disrespected, but I also thought I knew that you loved me, and I was depending on that to get us through. I knew I'd have to show you I hadn't lost..."

"Just stop, Leah," I berated. "I'm way past that. You handled every single part of this poorly. What you are trying to do now is what you should have done when I was trying to talk about things earlier. You've forced me to take control of the family and remold it in a way that works best for the kids and me, considering that we are not among your priorities."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Finally, you're ready to listen," I sighed. "You've been recognized as a problem-solver, so I suggest you spend some of that intellect figuring it out. If you don't know by now, you're either not as bright as I always thought or you plan to continue with him, perhaps others, and sweep it under the rug. Look around because this is how things will be until I decide differently.

"I've got things to do," I announced, "so pay attention! I'm not leaving; I'm staying. I'm not letting your selfishness disrupt my or the kids' lives. Some documentation will be delivered here this afternoon. Look through them, ask me questions, get an attorney to advise you--I don't care. I expect you to sign them before the sun sets on Tuesday. That's more than enough time."

"You just said you're staying," she looked confused. "You want a divorce but you're staying in the same home?"

"I said keep up," my eyes focused on hers. "Those docs have nothing to do with a divorce. That's for later if you try to fuck me over. No, I don't trust you. Yes, I've lost respect for you as you have for me. If you try something or simply don't sign the paperwork, then your entire weeklong fuckfest will be delivered to everyone you know: our families, people at your workplace, everyone in your contacts list. I haven't seen the pictures, and I don't want to, but my understanding from the investigator I hired is that there are plenty. In short, I will destroy you, just like you destroyed me."

"Jesus, you're a bastard!" she spat, coming to full realization. "Who even are you? I thought I knew what to expect when I got back. Not this, never this. Are you just trying to punish me? Or are you trying to make me so mad that I file on you because that isn't going to work, Mr. Planner? Don't go thinking you have the upper hand here. If you're unwilling to talk things through and try for us to come out even better on the other side, I'll make your life miserable. You try to send people videos of me in a private hotel, and I'll have you in prison. Remember what I said." She'd paused momentarily to gauge my reaction to her onslaught. "We had previous problems in our relationship that led to this in the first place. We need to work together to fix and enhance our marriage."

My evil smile unsettled her even more. At that point, less was more. I wasn't about to rehash how she could've solved all those earlier problems by talking to her husband instead of going on her weekend.

"You seem to think you're in a position to threaten." I leaned in close to her. "You aren't even in a position to beg. Those pictures are four aces. Get on board, and fast, Leah. Sign the papers for the sake of our kids and your reputation. Don't, and I'll bury you. Deeply and truly bury your cheatin' ass because I'm really in the mood to do that right now. You'll be so fucked you'll be begging your boyfriend or whomever else you've been with to move both of your asses to some other state to start over. Now, fuck off."

I walked away from her without hesitation and headed downstairs to my new home. After a quick shower, I dressed in sweats to hit the gym. I needed to lose some weight to fit my new lifestyle.

If there was ever going to be a day that I'd run off and hide, that day would be the only one. I knew Leah after all these years. She was used to getting her way, where I was concerned. I could even remember a time when she appreciated it. Like with most habits, though, she took things for granted and never stopped to consider the aftermath. Based on her comments, she really thought that my love for her was so deep, so blind, so unconditional that she'd be able to finesse me with apologies, cajoling, and sex as if it were simply another day in the life. I knew the talk of prison was just her trying to flex her muscles. We had plenty of time to talk later after she understood the gravity of her situation.

I had four drinks at the local watering hole, a bar I rarely frequented as a married man and father. Wendy, a redheaded firecracker, spent some extra time with me, cracking jokes and harmlessly flirting. I finally went home around eleven and fell straight into bed.

The next day, I was upstairs waking Hallie for cheer. There was a varsity game at noon. I knew that because I'd made her give me a schedule, something I hadn't ever done before.

"Okay, Dad," she started as soon as we put the car in reverse, "what's the verdict? Did you and Mom patch things up or what?" Kids. The innocence accompanying the teen years made me smile while I tried to formulate an acceptable answer.

"'Fraid not, Hales," I tried to keep the emotion out for her sake. "We'll have to see how it goes."

"Did she cheat on you?" So much for innocence.

"Hallie," I started. "I'm not going to talk about any of the specifics. You can ask your mother if you want, and she can surely answer. But you need to remember through all of this that you and your brother had no role in this thing between Mom and me. That doesn't mean that I want to keep things from you. She loves you, and I love you. Our family is going to stay intact regardless of what happens." I could tell my daughter didn't like that answer, but she let it go.

I ate dinner with the family. I did everything like I always had, except that when it was bedtime, I headed downstairs. I knew that as time went on, I'd spend more family time with my children and less with Leah. That would mean I'd also spend more time doing hobbies, working, and living in my own apartment. Monday night, Leah came banging on the door. I had it locked because I expected the showdown.

I finally let her in. "What the fuck is all this about?" she hollered. "Canceling the insurance, splitting up our retirement? Where the fuck is all our money? You better not say you spent it on all this!" She waved her arm frantically around, highlighting the work that I'd done.

"Calm yourself," I demanded. I had to remind myself as well. Leah may have said she wanted to 'talk' and 'work things out,' but when she was like that, nothing could be further from her mind. I wasn't going to let her bait me. I had plenty to say, but the best strategy then was to keep my mouth shut as far as my plans were concerned.

"I'm staying here to save us money in the long run," I said with a heavy, deliberate breath. "Believe me, I did the math. All I did was use the money and a bit extra that we'd saved for our Disney World trip this spring. The kids already know we aren't going."

"What do you mean?" her voice grew hoarse. "The kids are looking forward to that trip."

"I already explained to them we weren't going," I answered calmly. "Being in the same general confines with you for that period of time would not be good for any of us. I spoke to them while you were on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, or was it a 'Small World?'" I couldn't help myself. Where's the fun in being ten moves ahead if you can't inflict a little verbal pain?

"Then I'll take them by myself," she replied, definitively.

"No," I said. "They know we can't afford it now. Unless you want to take your boyfriend and have him pay. Just know, I haven't ratted you out to them yet, so think about that first."

She grunted and rolled her eyes. I swore I saw steam coming out her ears! I was amazed that with her confession, all that had happened since she returned, all that mattered to her was how things affected her.

"I could have taken all of it," I continued, "and made you fight to get it back. I could cook the books on my business, so you'd have to pay me alimony. A dozen other things that Pete talked me out of, including some very illegal and painful ones. Take what you have to a lawyer tomorrow, Leah. You'll see how serious I am and what kind of trouble you're in. Like I said, you have until sunset on Tuesday. Oh, and check your attitude. Talking to me like that will only get you to a place where all communication goes through the lawyers. If you can't be civil, don't bother because the doormat you thought I was died when you walked out."

That took all the wind out of her sails. She thought she was just going to waltz back into our home and my heart. She had another thing coming. We were in the very first steps of my plan. Some of it could fall apart later, I knew. No one can truly predict the future. I was sure that I was on the right path.

"You're making a big mistake, John," she said at the foot of the stairs. "You're going to drive a wedge through this family - through my heart - that's already happening, and for what? You aren't nearly as smart as you think. After I speak with an attorney tomorrow, I'll have new ones drawn against your stupid demands just to show you how badly you've fucked up."

"Amazing! You drove the wedge between us. You're the one who wanted a cheap fuck instead of talking about things that were bothering you, if you really had something bothering you to begin with. Look around... I'm living in a completely separate part of the house. Get your head out of your ass!"

My lawyer called me in the early afternoon. He'd received a call from a fellow attorney that Leah had spoken to that morning. I was quiet, waiting to hear the news.

"I'd say he gave her good advice," he told me. "At least it's what I would have told Leah if she were my client. She bitched and screamed about your evidence. I'd emailed it to him only thirty seconds after our introductions. Her lawyer did the normal dance - can't use that evidence from inside the room - me reminding him your PI was smart enough to use the hotel's security cam in the hallway, which was public and admissible.

"We went back and forth," he continued, "about the money and your written demands. In the end, I'm pretty sure he told her the same thing I would have."

"Yeah," I said curiously, "what's that?"

"Sign the papers," he stated flatly. "Go home, grovel, be nice, try to get your husband to calm down, and try to get back in his good graces unless you want the world to learn about your extracurricular activities. Once that's done, if you want to divorce him, you'll be in a better position. Of course, I'm your lawyer, not hers, so I already have a very good idea how that will play out."

Leah signed the papers. When I came home from work, I found them scattered across the floor at the bottom of the stairs, as she had aggressively shoved them under the locked door. I texted both kids to see if I could take them out for pizza, knowing dinner with all four of us that night would be a nightmarish event.

At dinner, I moved into my next conversation with Chris and Hallie.

"Let's talk about the next several weeks." I started looking at them both. They sat there clearly worried, more than I'd considered.

"Guys," I said, "Mom and I haven't been able to work through any of our issues. In fact, it will probably get worse before it gets better. I'd say three or so weeks before all the emotions calm down. I wanted to be honest with you and let you know that we will eventually return to a new sense of normal. A normal that won't really affect you much, since you have busy teenage lives. It's totally okay if you guys make yourself scarce these next few weeks."

I anticipated plenty of questions and was able to answer most of them. I assertively explained that I wasn't going into the root causes between us. Chris and Hallie were not happy about that. I think they felt that keeping them in the dark was a betrayal of sorts.

Chris seemed the most unscathed. He had his friends, school, other activities, and sports. If anything, he was the one who came down some nights and watched TV with me. He'd asked if he could game with his friends over the summer when I was at work. I didn't like that idea at all, but for some reason, I agreed.

I encouraged them to both visit their grandparents because they always had good times with them... and Lorna. They did occasionally and came back acting happier despite the tension at home. In particular, as time went on, they began to view Lorna as something between a big sister and a pseudo-mom since she helped them with their schooling, shot hoops, and generally kept an eye on them.

For two and a half weeks, Leah said almost nothing to me. She would only text about our kids' schedules and other responsibilities. When she did speak, it seemed she was trying to do so civilly. Her demeanor was that same detached coolness, above-the-fray posture from before the Christmas party. I had no idea, nor did I care, where she was when she was out, or with whom, but I suspected that she and Densless were very much involved.

Lorna met me a few times and I brought her up to speed. She wasn't shocked.

"I'm sorry it's reached this point, John. I just don't understand what's in her mind. Why would she risk a perfectly loving marriage with a great husband and father, who supported her unconditionally for what will likely be a forgettable roll in the sheets? I mean, she has everything a woman could want. It's certainly something I wouldn't throw away." That last comment was spoken with a gleam in her eye that said a lot.

"I'm still puzzled, but I have to think forward now... for the kids and myself. She's gonna do what she's gonna do and nothing I say will change that. She continues to pound me about letting go of my ego so we can get back to where we were. I simply don't trust that she will not do it again. Hell, she may have never stopped! No, I've focused on the kids."

"I'm here, you know that. She's a fool and I'm here to tell you that when you're ready, so am I... and you can take that any way you wish!" Again, the smile and twinkle in her eyes told me all I needed and, while I was leaning more in that direction, I wanted to be careful.

On Monday of the third week, I returned from work and headed upstairs. Leah seemed surprised to see me.

"Got enough dinner for one more?" I asked with the least fake smile I could muster. Hallie was already at the table doing homework and seemed very pleased. Leah gave a half-hearted smile and nodded.

Dinner was nice, although completely dominated by Chris telling us a story about one of his teammates getting caught with his girlfriend by her parents. Most of it was inappropriate for Hallie to hear, let alone at dinner. Finally, I told Chris to change the subject or let someone else talk about their day.

After dinner, Leah asked if we could talk, as I'd expected. We ended up down in my apartment so we could have privacy.

After handing her a glass of wine, I gave the sign that it was her party. "I guess what I want to know is your next move, Mr. Planner?"

I was stunned, at least to a degree. I was expecting contrite. Her expression was emotionless.

"We move on as a family," I stated, matching her demeanor. "You do your thing, and I do mine. We meet in the middle for the kids."

"Let me get this straight," she said, anger building on her face. "You want to live here in some sort of quasi-divorce situation, without actually getting divorced?"

"No," I answered firmly. "I am living here for the kids' sake as I have all along. There isn't any 'want' about it, and there's nothing you can do about it unless you want me to make you the laughingstock of your workplace and this neighborhood, not to mention your parents."

"Why can't you just let it go?" She wasn't pleading; she was negotiating. "Is your ego that bruised that you cannot suck it up for your family and move ahead? All the years we've been together; you have to know that I love you. Hell, I want to ride off into the sunset with you. That should tell you something right there. If I have to pay penitence or make it up to you, then so be it. I'm fully prepared to earn your trust again because I know I can, given time. It was one half of one week, damn it. You're going straight to the nuclear option, and for what reason? With the passing of time, we can be good, even great, again."

She hadn't spent our years together asleep at the wheel, that's for sure. She was again trying to bait me while simultaneously ripping at my heartstrings and manhood but I wasn't going to allow it. There would be no long, drawn-out conversation about what she did or what went wrong in our relationship. No need to open the door to more excuses either. That last bit was the part she'd come to regret thinking, let alone saying.

"If I had an ego, would I have begged you to talk to me before you went to the conference? Would I have begged you on the night you left not to go?"

Lorna called me the following Monday. "Hey, you," she casually started. "How are things? Wanna grab a bite to eat some night this week?" I agreed to meet her Wednesday night at the coffee bar.

After ordering, we found a quiet sofa and settled in. Lorna was dressed differently than usual, with a bit more skin at the midriff and waist, a tighter top with tails tied just below her tiny bust, and boy shorts that really made her long legs look longer. I was aroused just looking at her, very pleased that she had gone through the trouble because, Lord knows, it had been a long time since any female dressed up just for me. She asked all the right questions and listened attentively. I held nothing back, and when I finished, she seemed shocked by something. She gave me a quizzical look before speaking.

"I have to wonder," she whimsically asked, "why you'd chosen this course of action?"

Lorna's question was too broad, so I just looked at her until she expounded. "I mean," she continued, "she isn't going to see the error of her ways with how you've drawn up your plan. She'll probably lose her love for you quicker than if you simply divorced her. Am I missing something here?"

"No, not at all," I honestly stated. "To me, she lost her love for me as soon as she responded to his whispers and innuendo. Her behavior toward me at the Christmas party and since told me all I need to know. My love for her is gone. This isn't revenge. This is self-preservation. The courts would eat me alive, both financially and regarding the kids. I love my home. As far as I know, Leah has never fucked someone in it, but it doesn't matter. The apartment I built was always something I wanted anyway. It immediately adds a ton of value for when we're ready to sell. I get to see and be involved with my kids daily, instead of being some weekend dad at the whimsy of the very woman I'm trying to escape."

"Okay," she answered tentatively. "I guess you have planned things out. You must know she'll see him again if you deny her, or she'll find someone else. She won't be celibate."

"I'm counting on it. Once it happened, I have always thought that it would continue despite her comments to the contrary... you know, 'once they see Paree?' No, I fully expect that what happened in Philly was simply the opening act or a continuation of what had already started. Whether she continued with him or others, the bullet to my heart is the same and I must move forward for the kids and for myself. Time may be a healer but I think it will be a long time, if at all."

I didn't want to lie to Lorna. She'd been a good friend, an active, sincere listener, and I knew her relationship with Leah was strained, more now than when they were younger. I was counting on that tension because if Lorna told Leah about our talks, my plan would be toast. Then, Lorna surprised me.

"So, you plan to take lovers to your 'apartment?'" she asked with a wry smile. "I hope when the kids aren't around." She didn't wait for my response. It was nice that she was thinking about her niece and nephew.

"I do, I have," I said definitively. Then she really shocked me.

"Well, count me in; I want to be your healer." Her eyes never left mine, and her stare showed a determined intensity.

"Are you serious?" I had to know. "You want to have sex with me?"

"Don't look so surprised," she replied. "I've always had a thing for you, especially when you and Leah only went steady. At that time, you were about the only male in my life who actually saw me and listened, including my clueless father. I kinda gave up after you got engaged, but I've never really stopped thinking about you. And when we began to see the kids more often recently at mom's and dad's, I thought she was up to something, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I always hoped for that possibility down the road. If the opportunity presented itself, I was... am... determined to scratch my itches. No, John, I have thought about this for a long time and what was once a girlish crush is now full-on lust."

She shocked me with her candor but that made sense to me and put her wardrobe into its proper context. Even though Lorna was skinnier and not as attractive as her sister, she always appeared jealous. Leah did have her pick of guys, or so I'd heard. I was guessing that Lorna's height intimidated a lot of boys back then. Her college basketball career, a result of her scholarship, had gone well. Lorna had set many records there and was a semi-famous alum who was now considering how to fit her basketball into her career. She was still playing rec ball in the evening.

The wheels in my head were spinning. If I could set it up so Leah came downstairs and 'caught' us, it would drive home the pain I'd felt and probably prove that we were done.

"Alright," I said. "Do you mind being vocal? You know, loud?"

"It depends," she had a sexy, devious look plastered on her reddened face. "On how good you are. Why don't we find out?"

And find out, we did. It was epic. Lorna and I lay there on a somewhat lumpy bed of the hotel across the street from where we'd been, completely sated after several hours of nonstop pleasing each other. We planned for a while longer, running our hands all over each other. I began to worry that Leah might kill us or that she'd run straight to find her own attorney. In the end, it became a risk I was willing to take.

Leah and I were in the fourth week of our détente when it happened. It was bound to anyway. On a Thursday night and after several days of going without, Lorna and I wandered in through my private entrance, clothes flying as we stumbled to my bedroom.

She greedily ripped at my belt and zipper, our lips pressed tightly together. She actually pushed me back on the bed and finished removing her blouse and baggy pants. Lorna stopped abruptly, giving me a crooked look like, "Get to it," and I did.

Lorna was again insatiable. I mean that in every sense of the word. She gave, she took, and in both, with a hunger like tomorrow was a rumor. Even in the chilly winter, in a basement, I was sweating before we even finished round one. We took a quick break, and then it was on to rounds two and three. Insatiable doesn't begin to cover it.

Lorna began to moan, and then she called out my name. She was crying out, begging me to do it harder, telling me, "Yes, oh yes, right there! Just like that! God, John, Baby, fill me; give it all to me!" It didn't sound like she was acting for her sister's benefit! I was so into it that I barely heard the basement door open. Barely.

I didn't want to look but I did. I didn't feel horrible right then, but I saw her out of the corner of my eye, just standing there, watching. I thought, 'Good, now you know what you did to me,' and another part of me hated that I was doing it. Part of me wanted to see the look on her face. Part of me wanted to make a big production out of it. Instead, I sped up, telling Lorna how tight she felt, laying it on thick. My words were embellished to add to the moment. In reality, Lorna was a great fuck, likely because of her athleticism, but I didn't care why... she drained me and was as vocal about what I was giving her.

The wail was piercing and somehow validating, as if my revenge was complete. She advanced on us but not menacingly. It was part anger, part curiosity and it occurred to me then that she didn't realize it was Lorna. When she did, she wailed again but this time the anger was mixed with hurt. When I peeked sideways again, Leah's face was tortured, her eyes full of tears and her fists clenched.

Out of breath, Lorna continued as if no one else was there. "Don't stop. This is better than last time, and I expect it to be even better next time. Harder, John, harder! Break me!!!!!" I picked up my pace until we finished, which was longer than normal after doing it twice already.

"Oh, hi, Leah," Lorna said in a sing-song tone. "Sorry to have disturbed you." Any doubt I had about their relationship was now gone.

"You son's a bitches, both of you! How could you? My sister... what the fuck, what is wrong with you?"

"You seem to have forgotten. When you were leaving for your convention - I used both hands above my head to make air quotes - you said you wouldn't object to me cashing that hall pass."

"But not with my goddamn sister!"

"Hey, look, why are you surprised?" Lorna said. "That it's me? Why do you care after your so-called convention? Get a fuckin' grip, Sis. You gave this up and I'm movin' in whether you like it or not. Dumb fuck that you are, you never realized how good you had it. I don't know what you expected but this is simply the gander catching up to the goose. With any luck, there'll be little goslings flitting about soon!"

Leah was still flustered and had difficulty speaking coherently. "Oh no, you're not! He's my husband!"

"Yeah, not for much longer. You threw him away. I'm making him forget all about you in every way possible. Who's the one gettin' the guy, now? He owns me now. No man has ever made me feel the way he does. Now, be a dear and get the hell out of here so I can finish satisfying my man!"

Leah flew up the stairs to the house, almost ripping the door from its hinges.

Afterward, as Lorna dressed, she admitted she was still glad we did it. I had to agree.

"So, I'm your man? Don't I get a say?"

"Go ahead, have your say. Go on, I'm waiting."

"I'm your man and you're my girl. Just don't make me regret it, given your bloodline!" I had to duck her fist with that one!

We committed to seeing each other again, something I was looking forward to.

The following night, I came home after work and stayed there. I was a bit worried that the kids may have heard, too, but no one said anything about it during dinner. It was a relief. I spent the night catching up on some work invoices and planned to hit the hay early, as I'd entered a cycling race for the following morning.

There was a soft knock on the basement door. When I looked at my phone, I saw it was 10:25. I breathed heavily, knowing I didn't have it in me if Leah wanted to start a fight. I answered the door tentatively. Leah stood in one of her sexiest lingerie outfits, with a look that I did not recall--both determination and sultry.

"We need to talk," she stated, pushing past me. She looked at the sofa. "You ever fuck some bimbo on this thing?" The sarcasm was literally dripping off her, but the question was out of place. "Or my sister?"

I shook my head but wanted to say, "None of your fuckin business!"

"Good," she gave a devilish smile. "You've been neglecting your duties, John. Hate me all you want, but if we're going to stay husband and wife, I'll need some intimacy, especially since you're doing my sister. If you refuse, I'll start bringing men home, and you can go ahead and tell the entire world what a whore I am.

"Or?" she said after a pause, dropping the sheer wrap that covered the rest of her garment. "You can do the right thing. Now, what's it going to be?"

I'd expected that, but not the night after she saw me having sex with Lorna. She had persistence and big balls, too, still giving orders as if nothing had happened.

I also analyzed her words. She'd bring other men home. Go ahead and tell everyone. At one time, I'd have decided that I knew her well enough, and this was just a ruse, her blowing smoke up my ass. Now? I had no idea, but while I'd give her sex, there'd be no intimacy. She was just another pussy to enjoy.

In stark contrast to the previous night with Lorna, there was no kissing, no real holding, or romance. She rushed over to me with a fierce look in her eyes and quickly started on my buttons. After a bit, I simply grabbed the lapels of her negligee and roughly separated them to the sides, then quickly lifted her nightie over her head. Truthfully, she was still attractive to me, even with the extra pounds and I lusted at what I once treasured. She finished me and then she pushed my hand to her crotch. Maybe she didn't expect me to go down on her like I had our entire marriage, or maybe she saw me as dirty, damaged goods. If so, at least she now knew what it felt like. But there was no fucking way I was ever going to touch her there with anything but my fingers or my cock.

I roughly rubbed her until she had a small orgasm and then I pushed her to lay back, one foot up on the back of the couch, pushed into her violently, and started rapidly banging her as if to try to break her pussy. The noise she made, I'd never heard before. A part of me was glad she was enjoying herself but maybe this was how the others treated her. I pumped away, viciously and much harder than was usual for us, while she humped back on me with equal vigor. While I was banging her, I twisted her nipples and pulled on them, something I had never done, but something she seemed to like... a lot. Through it all, I wondered how much she might be thinking of Densless or the other guys. Regardless, I just hammered away, thinking of my own release.

Fifteen or so minutes later, okay, I came in her. She screamed and humped throughout so I knew she felt thoroughly fucked. Leah wouldn't let me humiliate her any further, or as she had me. She got up right away as if making the first move.

"That was nice," she gave a sad smile. "Next time, and every time after that, this will happen in our marital bed. We will never have sex down here again."

I had plenty of additional retorts, but they didn't seem worth it then. It struck me again that there was not one ounce of remorse or regret from her. She wanted cock and she got it; it seemed that I was only incidental to the act, the cock that was most convenient and nearest at that moment. Was she not apologizing because I was purposefully hurting her back, or did she plan to keep fucking Densless and others, or both? I was okay with losing a few battles as long as I won the war.

At the base of the stairs, she stopped abruptly, and without turning around, said, "I don't want you ever to fuck my sister again or I'll find someone to put your balls in a jar."

I smiled back at her, then shook my head. She still thought she was in charge and her order only hardened my resolve as far as Lorna was concerned. This was turning out way better than I ever thought! Yep, the long game it was.

>>>>

Time does change things, I must admit. Things around the house began to normalize, albeit still with some tension. The kids found endless things to do with their friends and classmates, so spending time with them became the greatest challenge of all. I was at peace because I knew they knew this was still their home as opposed to having to split time with each of us. Until that one day, I was convinced that all would have happened anyway, even if Leah and I were happily married.

The strangest thing about Leah's behavior - I mean, I would have bet big money against it, knowing my wife for so long - after all the trauma we'd been through, was that she still had never confronted the problem head-on. Whether she wanted to keep getting strange on the side or if she wanted to try to best me at my own game, I had given up trying to figure it out. It was still possible she thought she could wait me out, and I'd come crawling back before the kids left the house for good. In my mind, if she wanted to fuck or I wanted to fuck her, I wouldn't say no.

In the weeks and months after that first one, I expected Leah to try to explain, beg and plead, and make every excuse in the book. She never did. It was almost as if she was following some very bad advice that my anger would subside or that I'd come back to her. Like an exclamation point, it emphasized how badly she misread me and that she really didn't know me after all these years. Forgetting all that had preceded her trip to Philly, I had continually given her clear signals and comments about how things would be, but she seemed to ignore them as she had everything else. My love for her was gone by then.

I dated several women in addition to Lorna, just to keep my options open, none for more than two months, and I often went to their place when sex was on the menu. In fact, I only had a woman in my bed if I knew the kids would be gone that night, and most of the time it was Lorna. Leah, of course, knew about some of them but never brought it up.

That second month, she got me into our old bed a few times. I had the distinct feeling she was getting her needs met elsewhere, which is why I started using condoms. It was that act of defiance that told me she was getting it elsewhere; with whom was of no interest to me. When I went to her bed, it was simply to get my rocks off and fuck her as hard and raw as I ever did with anyone; hate-fuck didn't come close to describing it. I often wondered why she still insisted on fucking me because if she had never come to me again, I would not have missed it and my demeanor should have been a clear signal. By now, the only time I fucked her was when she came to me.

Things slowed from there until around the tenth month, when she stopped approaching me for sex altogether. She maintained her façade in front of the kids, but as they became young adults, they understood the reality of our relationship.

But through it all, I kept going back to Lorna for friendship and sex, and she to me. We had become close, not just fuck buddies. Maybe it was our shared past of misery, but I thought it was simple chemistry. We were happy together, no matter what we did or where we went. She was so damned easy to talk to and I was eager to listen to her. It was something Leah and I had previously, but it was so long ago, I couldn't remember when. We even went so far as to talk about more permanent living. We agreed to wait until Leah was gone, the kids were out of the house and we'd revisit it then. Lorna all but told me she'd wait, giving herself to only me until then.

Two years into our precarious new relationship, I picked up the Sunday paper, smiling as I read the article. A local businessman, Bryce Densmore, was viciously attacked in the parking structure across the street from where he worked. His wallet and briefcase were taken and he suffered some debilitating injuries. The attackers were never identified or apprehended.

Planning. The police never approached me, and Leah never said anything about it.

Chris was in his first year of college, and yes, he was at Northwestern. I had become an avid cyclist, even winning sprint events from time to time. Lorna and I were still going strong as we continued to find ways to please each other sexually. As time passed, those bouts and the afterglows served to underline what was becoming something deeper. We both talked about it without reservation.

The telltale sign was that I had difficulty being intimate with Leah after being with Lorna, even as my time with Leah was practically nil. It suddenly felt so wrong.

Hallie had recently turned eighteen; it was another cold, dreary February. Our daughter sat at the dinner table, clearly troubled about something. Leah and I watched her pushing her food around her plate, patiently waiting.

"Mom, Dad," she sounded so sad and nervous. "I'm pregnant." She didn't meet either of our gazes.

No words were spoken for at least a minute. I was sure I'd heard wrong. It was Leah who weighed in first.

"Son-of-a-bitch, Hallie!" she launched in. "How could you do this? You're already enrolled at Suffolk. What the hell were you thinking, young lady?"

Hallie didn't flinch. "What? Are you surprised? My role model? I want to be just like mom!"

I tried to interject, to break it up, but didn't get the chance. Breaking down completely, Hallie flew from the table and up the stairs, cursing her mother for every problem the family had endured those past few years, up to and including Hallie's current one. When the expletive "Slut" left her mouth, Leah flew up the stairs to go after her. I knew it would get physical, and I followed, matching her cadence.

I caught Leah's right arm just before she slapped our daughter and pushed her back out of Hallie's room, hard. No words were needed.

She quickly turned to me and tried to lash out, but I was too strong, repelling her arm even as she began to kick me.

"Go ahead, Leah. Show your hate, but when you're done, go and look in the mirror because that's the person you should be attacking. Now, leave us alone; I have to talk to her. She needs an ear, not a kick!"

Hallie sat and cried as I held her for a long time. It was truly the first time I ever questioned my strategy, but it was too late by then.

"Please, Baby, please. You made a mistake. It happens. We'll... I'll be with you through the entire process. You're not alone. I'm not judging you. You're my daughter and I love you as I always have and always will." She crumbled in my arms, sobbing in heaves that broke my heart. That didn't mean she wasn't disappointed in me, too. I could feel it.

Those next two days, the house was an iceberg. I tried to talk to Hallie about who the boy was and whether it was an accident. She remained sullen and wouldn't talk about it.

The next afternoon, I found myself breaking every traffic law on the books. Hallie had fainted at school and was en route to the hospital. When I arrived, she was in a surgical suite. Leah arrived just a few minutes later, stricken. I thought, "Could the realities of her behavior to us finally be realized by her selfish self?"

The doctor appeared not fifteen minutes later and told us Hallie was resting but had terminated the pregnancy. Being from a different generation, I found his words almost offensive. At the same time, I was somewhat relieved that my baby girl wouldn't end up with a child at such a young age.

Her remorse must have been short-lived because Leah was now pissed - way too pissed to get into it with me. I was sure she decided everything that transpired was my fault. We were way past fighting or even talking to one another most days. The harsh words spoken to her by our daughter hadn't stuck.

The doctor told us we wouldn't be able to see her for an hour or two, so Leah left the emergency room. I just sat there. When they came to tell me Hallie was awake, Leah hadn't returned yet. I texted her and then went into my daughter's room.

"Oh, Daddy!" her shriek was soft but gut-wrenching. No other words were needed. I leaned over the bed and hugged her tightly. Many things went through my mind. Had I caused this? Had Leah and I both? I told myself, 'No.'

After we broke the hug, Hallie looked me in the eye - the kind of look from a child that pierces your soul.

"Are you divorcing Mom when I leave for school?" She got straight to the point.

"I am, but let's leave that for later. Your recovery is what is important now." I told her without hesitation.

"Good," she sounded relieved. "On the way here, I was awake after I initially fainted, and I made some decisions about my future. I made peace with the fact that I might lose the baby. He... we, he and I, we're not in love. I want to go to school. I want to really start my life. I've worried about you ever since, Mom... well, you know. I no longer want to be the reason you stick around. You need to have an epiphany about your life, too, Dad, and I am so glad you and Auntie Lorna are together."

Just then, Leah stormed in and ran to our daughter, hugging her. I stepped out.

I sat in a coffee shop for hours, considering my life and Hallie's advice. She was pretty damned smart for an eighteen-year-old.

Four years ago, my plan was multifaceted. I wanted to protect my children and my money in a divorce. I wanted to see my kids every day until they flew the coup, and I wanted to spread my funds around over time so Leah couldn't get her hands on them when we divorced.

I was playing with house money as far as Lorna was concerned. Nowhere in my plans was she considered even slightly. By now, although she still shared her apartment with her friends, it was rare that she wasn't at my place, in my bed, and eager to deepen our bonds. She sensed that, despite my apprehension from the treatment at Leah's hand, I was slowly softening and Lorna knew it. The fact that she saw an opportunity to finally get even with her sister while giving and getting sexual nirvana was icing. Now, not only was my ego being fed, but I was beginning to feel genuine love for her, the kind I once felt so long ago... and thought I'd never feel again.

She had also become more settled. Her alma mater, a Division II college, wanted her to take over the basketball program, hoping she could do as a coach what she did as a player. Her coach was near retirement, so the timing was right, and the transition could be smooth. When she accepted, we both knew that for the near term, she would be married to turning the program around.

"Babe, whatever you need from me, you've got." I assured her. "I think this is natural and it is clear they want you. I'm here for you as you've been for me." When she accepted, there was a press conference and we adjourned with the team to a celebration. We also consummated the event at my place, and she was as vocal as ever, if not more so, though we knew Leah was home. Unlike in the past, I didn't care whether Leah could hear, and it had been forever since she had been downstairs.

Indeed, during those first few months, the only times we were able to get together were on occasional nights just to change it up for her; she slept in her office frequently. Or, we... the kids, particularly Chris... would attend some games. Unsurprisingly, they were becoming closer to Auntie Lorna even though they had seen less of their mom.

And while I continued to see Angie and others, they were only a tiny part of my life now. I knew Lorna's focus would be her team and given her laser focus on the job at hand, it made sense that it would consume most of her time. I had no problem with it because the more we were together, the more I realized that she really was into me... and now Chris and Hallie... with no agenda but our individual and collective happiness. I also knew that with so much time at the college, she was among her peers, and there was a great risk that she may become involved.

"I really feel fulfilled, content every time we're together," she'd say. "You know how long I crushed on you and since that first night downstairs, those feelings have only intensified. Yeah, it's a bonus that I'm pissing off my sister but I think less about her and I am totally consumed with you being my future. If you told me you wanted me to quit coaching... I don't think you would... I'd do so without hesitation. You encouraged me and were kind to me when I was low and unsure of myself and you complete me now as a woman. I don't think I could be luckier."

On the other front, I'd decided that my revenge would be for nature to take its course. If I were careful with my health and fitness, I would age like a fine red wine, while Leah would age like a bottle of vinegar.

I wanted her to feel my indifference even as we lived separately in the same house, whether or not she brought men home. The fact that her sister had been so openly vocal and demonstrative, starting with that night she walked in on us, was, in and of itself, revenge. The ravages of age would essentially be the completion and I hoped that as her 'chubbiness' morphed to old age flab and cottage cheese, something with which I was always comfortable, she may finally realize that she walked away from the compassion and honest love that would have made her physical decline a non-factor.

I imagined her at our children's weddings, looking much older and single, I imagined her at the birth of our grandchildren, old and on the arm of some sixty-seven-year-old man, who had trouble getting a rise, even hopped up on Cialis, or some Rico Suave adorned in neck chains and a pinky ring, checking out the other women in the room as Leah was draped on his arm. In none of these did I have to do anything to get even, to make her feel the pain she caused me. What nagged at me was whether she would finally observe these possibilities or continue to ignore them.

Months later, much had changed, although most people would have had difficulty seeing it. Angie, the woman I'd met almost a year earlier, was like the rest. I made sure she was looking for a little no-strings-attached sex. She was a pleaser yet vocal about what she wanted. Angie knew my plans with Leah and vowed she could wait for me, but she never knew about Lorna. I decided to test that since I'd already been burned. We took things very slowly, very slowly such that even as she had said she'd wait, her frustration showed frequently and we'd go weeks without contact.

Then, it all came to an end. Leah and I were returning from taking Hallie to Suffolk. She'd recovered and was like a whole new person. As we drove, Leah asked me to stop at a little diner just outside of town for a bite to eat. It was a place we'd frequented in happier times, and they had a mile-high corned beef on rye that was to die for.

After the waitress had taken our order, a young woman approached our table. I'd watched her for a few moments, watching us, deciding when to make her move.

"Mr. John Corbin?" she asked, a packet in her hand. I looked at Leah and her eyes avoided mine. I knew what was happening.

"I suppose you need to see some ID," I said, rather than ask. The woman seemed a bit surprised by that, as if it was the fun part of her job to blow up people's lives.

The transaction was complete, and I took a long sip of my soda without staring a hole through my - finally - ex-wife. Leah looked back at me then, and I couldn't say for sure what I saw on her face. It had been so long since either of us cared.

"You don't seem surprised," she asked playfully, "that I beat you to it."

"I never considered it a game to be won or lost. We've both lost, but only one of us recognizes it. No, I'm not surprised, Leah, just tired, and I'm surprised, even for you, that you see this as a victory lap. I hope you won't make a big production out of it even as you may think you've won something."

"No," she said gloomily. "You've already taken almost everything from me, anyway. I'll be forty-nine in a few months, pushing fifty, and these past four years have taken a toll. You've been quite clear vocally and with your behavior, that we were done. I just reached the point where I needed this to be resolved one way or the other so here we are. Just one thing: when was it over, when did you quit?"

My jaw locked almost in pain, and I took a breath to regain calm.

"Hmm, now you're concerned? It was all over but the shouting after the Christmas party. I just kept recalling how you dismissed me, the superior demeanor in front of your colleagues, and me not knowing then that Densless was the one. I felt humiliated after that, but not for long. I still held out thin hope that I could convince you but it was slipping away each day because you wouldn't budge or discuss anything with me. You dismissed it as my ego and jealousy rather than seeing that your husband still cared and wanted desperately to find a resolution. It died when you would not cancel your trip with Densless after I humiliated myself by begging you."

Leah looked down as if surprised by that information. She was about to say something profound, and I let her go on because I knew she needed to get it off her chest.

"In the beginning," she continued, "I couldn't understand why you wouldn't get over it. You were such a rock for all of us that I thought your love for me would drive you to recover and move on, to view that as a mere bump in our long road together, a few days out of two decades. I'd have bet on it! Your anger I understood. Then you brought Lorna to our house - I know it was your 'apartment,' but it was still 'our' home. That hurt me like you wouldn't believe. We didn't have a good relationship, and I treated her like a stepsister, but she is my sister. I knew then that I had seriously underestimated you as a man. I knew you'd never go to counseling, so I decided to go on my own. I wasn't sure then, or now, if she was new-fangled or old-fashioned, but right from day one, she made me focus on me - on my life and what I wanted, as opposed to us."

She took a break as our sandwiches arrived. It was easy to see she was deciding whether to proceed with the next part of her speech, whatever that was.

"My therapist told me it was okay," she went on, "if I asked you for sex. She said it was natural; we were still married, and it was part of our vows. It was completely okay, whether it was just for my needs or if I thought the connection might bring us back.

"Then, around the eighth month, it dawned on me that you were getting your needs met, but elsewhere, and with my sister. You weren't just using a hall pass or trying to get revenge. You had moved on. That realization took me to a dark place, and with my counselor's help, I decided just to stop worrying and focus on myself. As you stated so well, it was obvious I could no longer tell you what to do. You weren't listening anyway."

It was interesting that our marriage was mentioned in the context of sex during her little talks with the therapist, but she never seemed to be concerned about those vows in the lead up to the 'conference. "It doesn't sound to me like you gave your counselor a very good profile of me, of our marriage, or a true depiction of what really went down," I stated. "If you had, I wonder if her advice would have changed. Either that or therapy hasn't taught you much. I would have been interested in her evaluation of not only your motivation to cheat in the first place and why you did it when you had it so good. Whether or not you share that with me, I believe THAT'S the unanswered question." I started eating, having little more to say.

I saw a look on her face for the first time in the years since she went to the conference. Unspoken, it told me she never thought she had it all that good. She didn't share my opinion in that regard and that look was a tell. Could it be that simple?

"I hated you, you know." She blurted out, her mouth full. "When you wouldn't budge, I hated you more."

I thought about that without responding right away.

"Perhaps, Leah," I replied blandly, "but I think that you hated the fact that I hated you.

Leah lost some of her external composure at that. She knew exactly what I meant. She'd expected me to roll over and take it. I hadn't intended to score direct emotional hits on her. I'd already had my revenge, and the rest would happen organically over time.

"Regardless of the therapy," she said, "I always hoped that with you under the same roof, with our family intact, you would forgive, even if you didn't forget. I thought if I could prove that we were good together, you'd return to me. But you were hell-bent on revenge."

"And just out of curiosity," I asked, genuinely interested, "When did you figure out that wasn't going to happen?"

"The day Hallie told us she was pregnant." She was so quiet and sad then. "You challenged me to attack you, and you were completely on her side as her protector. On reflection, that's what fathers and mothers do, but I was too emotional at her fall to recognize it then. You had NEVER challenged me regarding the kids!"

That shocked me. I would have expected Leah to come to that conclusion much sooner. Again, she's proven I never really knew her.

"Interesting," I said. "You figured it out four years too late."

She put her sandwich down and her demeanor changed. "Why in the hell did you bother to stay? I know you spoke of keeping things as normal for them as possible but it was obvious that your indifference was really a mask for your hate of me."

I took in a deep breath and let it out. I guess it wouldn't hurt anything to come clean at that point.

"While you were on your 'week out of time,' I was planning, Leah. It appeared you were in love with your boss, at least in lust, so I wasn't even sure you'd return. I was reminded of that night after the party when you were so aggressive in bed, something you rarely were, at least with me. So, while you may have said that there was nothing before Philly, that night told me differently.

"It appeared that I might end up as a single father without you. Not that you wouldn't come back for the kids, but you likely would not return to me. Besides, I was pissed and hurt. There was no way I was going to let you or the court plan my life or my life with my kids. So, I made my plans."

I let her digest what I'd said, then added, "That was all that mattered. You certainly weren't thinking about them when you gave me your half-assed admission and left with him. This state's laws would have eaten me alive in a divorce. I wasn't sure then if you didn't already know that or maybe hoped I'd leave. For all I knew, you'd come home, proclaim your love for Densless, and tell me we were divorcing."

"It had nothing to do with that!" She protested.

"I didn't know that! How could I? Every time I tried to get you to talk to me, you avoided it. There was nothing to tell me otherwise, so my imagination ran wild. And I still don't know the 'why.' I'm long past caring at this point." I got louder than I should have, forcing myself to tone it back. "I was confused, angry, and hurt, but only for a little while. When I make a plan, I stick to it. You, of all people, should have figured that out the minute you came home and down those basement stairs.

"As time went on," I continued, "my focus was on my plan, which I must admit, was when the rest of my love for you dried up. My hate quickly turned to indifference. Then it was just a matter of sticking to the plan."

"Men," she spat. "Half of you with your moral high ground, trying to dole out lessons to us poor, stupid women. The other half only wants to get laid, at any cost. I must admit, though, you played a high trump card with Lorna. Well done, because that still grates.

"I tried to go back to him, you know?" This was the part where Leah desperately tried to salvage something akin to black in her ledger, on the balance sheet of her life.

"At the ten-month mark," she declared. "But he'd already moved on to his next conquest. You stopped wanting me, and so did he. We chatted very briefly but it was clear that I was yesterday's news. I know; you told me so. As old and plain as I may have felt leading me to his bed, I felt much older, much plainer, and totally useless as his words and attitude told me, "No chance!" The humiliation I felt that day gave me a glimpse of what you must have felt with me, as much I did not want to admit it. A real Karma moment!"

Strangely, even though we had been living in the same house since the 'event,' I expected to feel something for her, but I didn't. The callouses on my heart were too complex and well-formed because she had never given a straight answer about why she chose to go with him. At least he had gotten what he deserved. The jury was still out on Leah.

As she took a breath, my expression became a passionless stare, raising my eyebrows slightly.

Some epiphany blazed through her mind, and her eyes stared, wide open. "Oh my god!" she almost screamed. We both noticed a few heads turn our way. "You had him..."

"Crippled?" I finished her question with a mouthful of juicy meat, bread, and sauerkraut.

There was a look of terror on her face, trying to equate her mild-mannered former husband with someone who could hire people to hurt another.

"I'm a planner," I said matter-of-factly.

"So, I've become aware." Her sarcasm intensified. "Who are you, really? I'd never and still have trouble believing that you were... are... capable of something like that. Had I known this side of you then, I doubt that I'd ever have considered marrying you. I suppose when a person like me goes so suddenly off the rails, it's..."

"Easy?" I did it again. "Hardly. Not like you're thinking. There was plenty to consider, but in the end, I fell on the side of our kids, even as they had likely forgotten he existed. So there is no mistake, if it had been just you and me, no kids, there would have been hell to pay."

A bit of the juice escaped the side of my mouth, and I wiped it away like a cannibal might.

Leah looked at her plate, picking some of the meat that spilled out the sides of the bread. I expected her to change the subject.

"I see the unintended consequences, too," she went on. "You look healthier, fitter, and more attractive than ever during our marriage. You're different, more confident, speak more directly, less beating around the bush. It's compelling and attractive. Me?" She waved her arm up and down in a long swipe in front of herself, what was now a rather dowdy and flabby persona. Gone was the cute chubbiness that had attracted me, replaced by the weight and wrinkles of a fifty-year-old loner.

"I'll probably have to settle or get lucky. You're a real bastard; I just want you to know." She was getting worked up again.

Despite my calloused heart, I could not bring myself to tell her there was nothing unintended about it. I went a different direction, either to finish my side of our life's sad tale or relieve some deep-rooted burden.

"Save it, Leah. If you're honest, in those alone moments with a glass of wine, you'll agree that your reaction if the situation was reversed would have been equally, if not more, vicious. Who's the bastard?"

"Still, I never said a disparaging word about you to the kids and I have continued to encourage them to remember that you are their mother, regardless of what happened between us." I sat up straight. She made to speak, but I waved her off. "I'm sure they knew," I continued. "As I'm sure they will be relieved that we're finally moving on with our lives - separately. You are planning to move out, right?"

I'd glanced over at a man sitting at the counter, with only a cup of coffee, watching us intently.

"Yes," she stoically said, her business concluded. "I'm leaving right now. Tomorrow, a moving truck will be at the house to collect my belongings and personal items, plus a few pieces of furniture. You can keep living in your damned basement, move upstairs and start living like a normal human, or sell the place. I expect my half, if you do, and I won't allow you to stay there longer than six months unless you buy me out."

Amazing! Just as my drunken father had hardened me and put my emotions in a cement box, I'd done the same to her... she was still telling me what I could or could not do on her way out the door but I decided to let it drop. I suppose callouses were contagious in this instance.

We were done condensing our lives into the metaphorical shoebox. She motioned to the man, who stood and waited about halfway for her. He seemed nonconfrontational.

"I'd say, 'have a nice life,'" she said bitterly, "but I couldn't bring myself to mean it."

"You've already said and done enough," I mumbled, returning to my sandwich.

>>>>

In Lorna's second year as coach, the team hovered around.500 despite her focused efforts. At one practice, the team was just going through the motions when she blew the whistle. Everything stopped as she exploded at their lack of focus, urgency, or commitment.

"Get the hell off my court and don't return until you think you can elevate your level of passion to something resembling winning basketball. If you don't, I'm prepared to recommend to the administration that we drop women's basketball rather than embarrass ourselves further. Go on, get outta here!"

Three days passed and not one player came forward. She lamented to me that she thought she'd made a mistake and she was as miserable as I had ever seen her. I tried to lift her but to no avail, and our love-making was as lackadaisical as their play. That night, after dinner, one of the seniors phoned. They spoke for an hour and a half, at the end of which, she looked at me, kissed me hard and said, "fuck the shit out of me and keep it up until one of us passes out." Needless to say, it was an epic night.

The next day, practice resumed and she drove them hard as always. They never spoke of the hiatus again but it became clear that the three team leaders kicked ass on their own. The turnaround was on and they went 12-2 the rest of the way, just missing winning the conference championship in a double OT. Coach Lorna was on her way!

The next time we were together in the same room with Leah turned out to be Hallie's wedding. Chris was taking his damn sweet time finding the right girl, which I was proud of.

By now, Lorna had given me a son, and we had just agreed to try for another. It was special because Chris and Hallie were over the moon and could not have been happier for us and their new sibling. We were both still considering whether to marry, and my thinking was that if we had another, I would definitely press the issue.

Leah was fifty-three at the time, and as I'd always envisioned, she turned up with a companionly sixty-two-year-old gentleman named Gene.

I almost stopped breathing when Hallie whispered to me during the father-daughter dance, asking me to dance with her mother just once. It took a moment to respond, but I wouldn't ruin my little girl's big day.

"Sweetie, this is YOUR day, and I will do nothing to detract from the wonderful memories you will have of it. Of course... you can count on me."

I walked to Lorna and told her of Hallie's request. "Babe, do it. It's your daughter's wedding day request and I know you'll rise to the occasion." How did I get so lucky?

"You and Lorna look so happy and your son is beautiful. I should be jealous but I want you to know I really am happy for you. I have never seen you so content," Leah quietly said about thirty seconds into the slow song. "She's still my sister, and it could have been worse; you could have shown up with a twenty-something!"

"And Gene seems like a good guy." I ignored her comments, on guard because of the Leah I knew. We weren't going to trade shots at our kid's wedding reception.

"Speaking of..." she said with a sneering grin, "... I finally figured out your plan. I have to hand it to you; you really thought ahead. Way ahead."

"Leah, I..." she cut me off, her smile softening.

"Don't, John," she said. "I just had to say it to make myself feel better and because on reflection, I owed you that. As I've thought about what happened, if I'm honest, the only thing attributable to you was your failure to respond the way I thought you should. I'd say you did the right thing for you and the kids, and good on you. I wish the three of you all the best in the future."

I resisted the snarky rejoinders, reminding myself of my promise to my daughter.

"That's kind of you, Leah, and thanks for the good wishes. At least with our two, we seem to have done well. I hope you are as proud as I am today."

We continued and toward the end, she gently rested her head to my chest as she looped her wrist to the back of my neck. It lasted all of twenty or thirty seconds and the gotcha for which I was on alert, never occurred.

The dance ended and she started toward the bar. Walking away, I stuck my hand in my pocket and felt something that I had brought to give her. I turned and looked back at her as she leaned on the bar waiting, placidly watching me without expression. Reaching her, she looked up, again blankly.

"Here. I thought this might help but check his blood pressure first." With that, I grabbed her hand and put the Cialis in her palm before turning and walking away.

A second later, I felt it whiz past my ear, but I never looked back as a thin smirk creased my lips. What can I say? I'm a planner!