Rebirth

Rebirth is a story I started three years ago. The pandemic was still fresh and relevant to the story but I wasn't happy with the timing and set it aside. It wasn't intended to be part of the Gabby's universe, and nothing here links into any of the current stories - yet. But the upcoming stories could have a neat tie back to it, so I decided to brush the mothballs aside. Three years later, the timing works.

Thanks to THBGato for beta reading at short notice with a busy schedule, especially for insights into contemporary English English.

Warning: long. At about 36K words, this is almost twice the length of any non-series story I've written, but I really didn't want to break it up into a series. And since I'm adding warnings:

Trigger Warning: death, loss of a loved one, grief

~~~~~

Rebirth

An October breeze created marionettes from fallen maple leaves, skirling beneath the large tree, which bore sequins of red and gold within its green. Below the overhang of its branches rested a small yellow-painted apartment. The breeze twisted strands of copper hair, fugitives from her hasty knot, across Lauren's face. She brushed them aside before ringing the doorbell.

With only an ad and impersonal text messages to guide her, Lauren knew no more of the landlord than a name, Fujita. She masked her surprise when the door was opened by a young woman. Dark, slightly upturned eyes observed her. Straight black hair grazed the shoulders of her red tee. Her face was narrow, with a sharply-pointed chin. The tee hinted at small breasts, and held an image of a fox playing a video game. Faded jeans clung tightly to slender legs, meeting bright pink knit socks.

There was something about the woman's eyes that gave her pause. She couldn't decide what it was. It seemed out of keeping with the attractive woman's quite jolly presentation.

"Ms. Graham?" the woman asked. Lauren hadn't realized how distracted she'd been by the woman's appearance. "I'm Mika. Mika Fujita. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance."

Lauren offered her hand, which the woman accepted with a gentle squeeze, her palm dry. She gave her a nod. She'd introduced herself first by her given name, so she did the same. "Lauren."

Mika's returned nod as she released her hand seemed to form a small bow. She stepped aside for Lauren to enter.

"I hope I made it clear that I'm not looking for myself," Lauren said, as she moved past the woman into a room that was surprisingly large, extending to windows and French doors on the far side of the apartment. Daylight at both ends of the room gave it an airy feel. "Oh, this is nice," she said.

"You're acting for your friend Mandy," Mika responded. "I hope that she will be pleased."

"Would it be okay if I take photos to send to her?" Lauren asked.

"Of course," replied the landlord, with a smile.

The French doors looked out over a large grassy yard. The main house, painted in a yellow matching the apartment, was a good distance away. In the center was a circular table with a verdigris finish. Closer to the house, a tiered bird bath fountain sparkled. The flower beds were well-tended, with small bushes, pale gold chrysanthemums, and flowers Lauren couldn't identify in shades of mauve. On the far side of the yard from the fountain, water trickled from a bamboo frame into a wooden tub.

"If it wasn't so painful to move, I think I'd want this for myself," Lauren said.

"You live nearby?" Mika asked.

"Yes, I have a small house," Lauren replied. "I mean, it's not bad, but it has no character. I think Mandy will love this place."

"She is a friend?" Mika asked. "Or a client, perhaps?"

"Friend," Lauren offered. "I've known her since high school. She was my first girlfriend."

Mika's eyes widened in surprise.

Lauren grinned. "If it seems strange that I'm still friends with an ex, let me assure you that I am not friends with the bitch who walked out on me two years ago." Mika's lips twitched into a quickly-suppressed grin. "Mandy and I weren't right for each other, but she's a genuinely nice person. You'll like her."

"I look forward to meeting her," Mika said. "Mandy, that is. Not the last one."

Her expression was solemn, but a touch of irony in her tone when she said "Not the last one" led Lauren to hear "Not the bitch." Lauren's lips twitched in amusement.

The more she heard Mika speak, the more perplexed she found herself. She hadn't been surprised, given the young woman's name and appearance, that her accent wasn't local, but it was dawning on her that she sounded neither American nor Japanese. She sounded English, with the kind of cultured accent she would hear on the BBC. A deeper-voiced Hermione Granger.

The apartment was ideal. She was certain that Mandy would agree. With windows in the bedroom and French doors in the living room both looking over the center of the large, grassy lot, it could be made into a very attractive small home.

When the tour concluded, Mika opened the French doors. Fall-scented air drifted into the room. "I thought to offer you tea in the garden when you have finished looking at the flat," she said. "If you think your friend will be interested, we can discuss the details."

She stepped up to the doors, then through them. She looked toward the center table and smiled. "I'd like that," she said.

"I'll meet you in the garden when you're ready," Mika said. She returned to the front door, slipping her feet into flats before she left.

Lauren had probably erred by not removing her pumps. She doubted that Mika was especially concerned about a rental unit that she'd have little control over, but it would have been polite.

~~~~~

The ground was slightly spongy beneath her feet. A patchy layer of green and golden maple leaves clung damply to the grass. A faint scent of woodsmoke suggested that a neighbor had lit a wood-burning fireplace. She was studying one of the flowerbeds when she noticed Mika crossing the yard with a tray, and moved to join her at the table.

"The flowers are beautiful," Lauren said. "The whole yard is very pleasant. It's hard to believe how deep within the city we are here. I'm totally jealous of the view that Mandy will have through the French doors."

Mika gave a shy nod. "Thank you," she said, as she unloaded the tray. She poured clear, pale tea into two delicate cups, moving one across to Lauren, then presented her with a plate of clearly homemade cookies. As her eyes were on her work, Lauren took the opportunity to study her face again.

The woman wore no makeup that Lauren could see. Her narrow face was smooth, though subtle lines around her eyes might imply that she was older than Lauren had thought. Perhaps into her thirties. Her unpainted lips were pale. Without being the target of her gaze, the strange disconnect between the melancholy in her eyes and the energy of her clothing wasn't clear...

Melancholy! That was it. Without being aware of the puzzle, it seemed that Lauren's mind had continued to dwell on the look in Mika's eyes. Was she hiding the feeling with her fox tee shirt and tight jeans?

And now Lauren had spent so long congratulating herself for identifying the expression that Mika had finished setting out the refreshment, and was looking directly at her. Had been for several seconds, perhaps.

"Oh!" Lauren felt her cheeks warm. "Sorry. I was miles away. Um. This all looks delightful. Thank you!"

Her phone pinged as she picked up a cookie. "Excuse me," she said. "This is probably her."

Instead of text, there was a string of heart emojis. Lauren laughed, then said, "I think she wants the place," turning the phone so that Mika could see. She smiled, then nodded at the phone when it pinged with a follow-up message reading, "Yes, please."

"I will email her to get personal details," Mika said. "I'll need to run a credit check."

"Yes, of course," Lauren said. "She has good credit, and references. There won't be any issue."

"You have stayed close since you ended your relationship?" Mika asked.

"Yes," Lauren replied. "It wasn't all smooth sailing. Not at first. We split up when we went to different colleges, and we each blamed the other. Then, as we met other people, we began to realize that we had never really worked well. We reconnected and have been best friends ever since."

"I'm glad for you," Mika said, with a genuine smile.

"Did you build the apartment as a rental?" Lauren asked.

Mika shook her head, and she looked off into the distance. "No," she said. "I think it dates from the eighties, so it isn't as old as the house, but we didn't build it. It's one of the reasons we took the place. I used it as my studio. I have a business office now, and I'm alone in the house. I hate to see it wasted."

Lauren wondered at the change between the "we" of the purchase and "alone in the house." Mika wore no rings. Perhaps there had been a partner? She hadn't seemed at all shocked by Lauren's revelation that her exes were girls, and Lauren had a faint inkling that Mika might also be a lesbian, though her gaydar had been spectacularly and embarrassingly wrong in the past. She was also a very reserved person, and hard to read, so Lauren guessed that she might be indulging in wishful thinking, because there was no question that the woman was attractive.

Mika's potential ex wasn't a topic of conversation, though, unless she introduced it, so Lauren took the other opening she offered. "What kind of studio?" she asked. "You're an artist?"

"Photographer," Mika replied. "I'm a wedding photographer by profession. I've sold a few art prints, but it will be a long time before I can claim that I have any success in that area."

"May I see some?" Lauren asked.

Mika smiled briefly, but her eyes didn't meet Lauren's, looking into the distance again. "Another time, perhaps," she said. "It would be difficult."

"You sound English," Lauren said. She cringed inwardly at the predictable comment, but would ignoring such an obvious fact be even more shallow? "I hope I'm not being rude, because I'm sure you get asked all the time, but did you grow up in the UK?"

"I did, though my family lives in Japan now," Mika said. "I didn't follow them."

"How long have you been in the States?" Lauren asked.

She glanced into the distance again, then answered. "Nine years, now. Somehow I don't think I've gained much of an accent. But please, tell me about Lauren. You're from here, I think."

"I'm much less interesting, I'm afraid," Lauren said. "I moved here for college, and never left. I deal with my parents better when there's five hundred miles between us. Uh, I work as a commercial loan officer. I can put a date to sleep without even trying."

"Do you find it interesting?" Mika

"I do," she said, "though challenging might be a better word. Reading between the lines of audit reports and annual financials isn't for everyone."

"That is what's important," she stated. "But I wonder what you talk about if you don't want your date to fall asleep."

"I like to travel, though I've never been outside the States," Lauren replied. "So I guess I can hold my own in local and regional lore, and in fantasy books and movies. I like all kinds of music. Women, of course," she added with a slight smile, which Mika returned. Perhaps she hadn't guessed wrong.

"Does all kinds of music extend to classical?" Mika asked.

Lauren's eyes widened. "It does! Are you a classical music lover? That rarely comes up as an option."

Mika's smile was genuine. "I used to play cello. It's a topic very close to my heart."

Lauren had a vision of her in white blouse and black skirt, intense emotion on her face as she sawed on the strings. Her fantasy may have shown on her face, because Mika's eyes caught hers, and though she quickly looked away her cheeks seemed to have picked up a little color.

Lauren was becoming sure that her suspicion was correct, and just possibly her initial attraction wasn't entirely one-sided. Or maybe that was yet more wishful thinking.

They sat at the table until the late afternoon breeze began to turn cool, and the tea was completely finished. The cookies were long gone. Mika seemed as reluctant to end the conversation as Lauren. Still, she couldn't monopolize the woman's time. Lauren thanked her for her hospitality, and Mika let her know that she'd be emailing Mandy shortly.

Lauren stood to leave, but she couldn't just walk away. She spoke before she realized that she would.

"Could I see you again?" Lauren blinked in surprise at her own words. "Maybe we could get coffee? Tomorrow? Just in case I need to contact Mandy, or have any questions from her, maybe?" she finished lamely.

Mika held her eyes for a daring second. She must suspect the excuse for the obvious pretense that it had been, and there might be amusement in her expression. There was something else, though, something not entirely comfortable with the idea. But as she looked away, she nodded. She could easily have turned Lauren down with no embarrassment. She'd even given her a good justification, since Mika clearly didn't need her to act as a go-between, when she could contact Mandy directly. So she could only have agreed because she wanted to.

"Yes, alright," she said. "Text me."

~~~~~

"Fujita." The voice was impersonal, businesslike, but Lauren recognized it.

"Hello, uh, Mika. This is Lauren. Graham. We met yesterday?" Damn, she sounded like an idiot.

The voice warmed immediately. "Hello, Lauren," it said.

"Hi," Lauren replied. "Uh, listen. Could I buy you coffee somewhere? I want to ask how everything's going, and see if there's anything more I can do to help?"

"Everything's fine, Lauren." Mika reassured her. "I don't think there is." Her tone implied that she was going to add more, so Lauren waited, and after a beat she said, "But if you want to meet, alright. Where and when?"

Lauren suggested a coffee shop near Mika's place at one-thirty.

As soon as they'd hung up, Lauren felt nervous. She'd only been on two dates since her breakup, and both were awkward affairs. Not that this was a date. Maybe, just possibly, it might lead to one, if she hadn't completely misread Mika.

There was a peony lipstick that she felt complemented her copper hair and hazel eyes. She'd promised herself that she'd wear it on a date one day, which meant that she'd barely touched it, but she'd wear it today. On her last date, her hair had brushed the nape of her neck. Now it lay in waves down to her shoulder blades. She slipped a long cardigan over a white scoop neck tee, with faded jeans and cowboy boots.

Arriving at the coffee shop before Mika, Lauren texted her to ask what she wanted, then placed the order, a medium americano, with a latte for herself.

Mika arrived just as she found a table. She'd added a touch of color to her lips, a muted red, making them look less narrow. She wore a red silk blouse with a black above the knee skirt and dark hose, under a lightweight jacket.

The coffee shop was cool. Perhaps not as cool as sitting outside the previous day, but a little chilly for being indoors. Lauren was glad for her cardigan.

"Thanks for coming, Mika," Lauren said. "It's good to see you."

"And you, Lauren," Mika replied. Her eyes barely met Lauren's, but she seemed attentive. "I wonder why you asked me to meet you. Is there a problem with Mandy, perhaps?"

"Not at all," Lauren said. "Except that I'm jealous of her, as I said. Maybe more than I realized."

Mika frowned at her. "What does that mean?"

"Mandy's a good friend," Lauren said. "I don't begrudge her anything. But she's going to have you as her landlord. She'll be your neighbor. She'll have opportunities to talk to you."

This time Mika's narrowed eyes met Lauren's. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I'd like to see you," Lauren said. "I'd like to ask you out. Dinner, maybe. Do you... think you might be interested? Sometime? Maybe?"

Mika blinked, and her expression transformed, becoming the remote look she had worn when she'd spoken about the house. Not cold, not hostile, just... not there.

Maybe Lauren had misjudged. Maybe my gaydar needs a tune-up. Maybe it's broken beyond repair.

She opened her mouth to apologize, then realized that if she didn't know what she was apologizing for, she'd probably make the situation even more awkward. She closed her mouth again and waited for at least a hint.

The distance lasted a few seconds longer, then Mika's eyes seemed to show some confusion. "I..." she said, or tried to say. She cleared her throat and started again. "I'm sorry. I'm a bit shocked. This isn't at all what I was expecting."

"Good," Lauren said, in a weak attempt at humor. "I hate to be predictable." After a moment, she added, "I hate to be embarrassed, too, and I think I just embarrassed both of us. Maybe we could pretend I didn't say anything?"

Mika shook her head once, sharply. "No," she said. She was back in the present. Maybe more so than Lauren had yet seen, since her eyes were on hers, completely alert. "You've said nothing embarrassing. I'm a single lesbian, and you're the same, I think?"

"Yes, I am," Lauren agreed.

"And you want to go out on a date with me?" Mika asked.

"Yes, I do," she said.

Mika smiled. Nervously, maybe, but it was genuine. "Well, then," she said. "Where are you taking me?"

~~~~~

Lauren picked Mika up from her house the following day. There was a barbecue stand with outdoor seating that she'd heard good things about, which neither she nor Mika had visited. Had the weather been unfavorable, she'd have taken barbecue to go and invited the woman to spend the afternoon at her house, watching streaming movies. Which would have been fine, but she was pleased that their first time going out wasn't a time staying in. They ordered at the counter and took the food to a wooden table.

Sitting outside was comfortable, at least in a sweater. Mika had her jacket zipped up, and the breeze kept flicking her straight hair into her face. Lauren had tucked her hair into a chignon, though even with it tightly constrained, a few copper strands kept dancing in her vision.

Mika seemed friendly, if reserved. There was no awkwardness in their conversation, even though she seemed to be sounding out Lauren, just as Lauren was trying to get a read on her. Lauren felt she was telling Mika more than the reverse, but that was okay. The woman seemed interested in what she said.

She asked Lauren to tell her about the girl who'd walked out on her.

"If you like," Lauren said, with a sigh. "I guess I should get it out of the way, because it's the closest I've had to a serious entanglement. We were together for over a year. We thought we were okay until we tried living together. She was... well, something of a slob." She glanced at Mika to see her reaction to that. It was possible that Mika was also a slob, though if she was, it didn't show in her dress, or in the state of her rental property, or the flower beds... on second thought, no, it totally wasn't possible. "I may not exactly be a neat freak, but I have my limits. We fought about many things, but that was the one that was always in my face."

"She was living in your home?" Mika asked.

"It was our house, at least at first," Lauren replied. "She moved out mid-lease. I was okay with that. It's a small rental house, still too big for just me, but it isn't worth the effort of moving. She tried to convince me that we should buy a house together. I said no, and she decided she'd had enough of me treating her like a kid."

"How old was she?" Mika asked.

"Twenty-five?" Lauren said. "Somewhere around there. She was younger than me, and I was twenty-seven when she left."

"So that makes you twenty-nine," Mika concluded.

"I am," Lauren said. "How old are you?" She winced at the starkness of her question. She seemed to lack a filter with this woman, which was not like her at all. She wouldn't be successful in her job if she insulted clients.

"I'll be thirty-two in January," she said. "Is that close enough for you to be considering a second date?" Mika asked, her eyebrows raised.

Lauren felt a wave of relief wash over her. She'd sprung the idea of a date on Mika, and had still not been certain that she'd agreed freely. For her to bring the topic up must mean she was willing to continue. "It is. I was hoping I hadn't offended you by asking in the first place."

Mika shook her head. "I wasn't offended. You seem... quite direct. Mostly. I can respect that. And this is an unconventional place for a dinner date," she said, gesturing at the open air setting. "Perhaps you'll allow me to be conventional and invite you to Natsu restaurant. It's been too long since I've taken someone there."

"Of course," Lauren said. "I'd like that."

She wasn't expecting Mika to invite her in when she drove her home, so she wasn't disappointed. Much. Mika did agree to a spontaneous invitation for a walk in the park the following day, though.

~~~~~

The next day dawned with a chill. The cold front that had been threatening to arrive for a few days moved in before noon, and the temperature dropped further. Mika met Lauren in the park anyway. Both women wore heavy coats. Mika had a hood, while Lauren wore a headscarf. They were still too cold, especially when a light drizzle joined the heavy, chilly breeze. Lauren had thought to bring gloves, but Mika kept her hands in her pockets for warmth.

Lauren wasn't willing to call an end to the walk, though. Her friendship with Mika still felt very tentative, and she felt that cutting the time short would risk not getting to know her better at a critical time.

When Mika made the decision, her heart initially sank.

"I'm too cold," she said. "Even by my standards it's too cold to be outside. Would you like to come back to the house?" she asked. "I can warm us up with tea. Perhaps we can watch a movie."

"Oh. Yeah, sure," Lauren agreed, glad that the afternoon wasn't over.

They walked back to their cars. "I think you know how to find it," Mika stated, with a half smile.

"I do," Lauren agreed.

~~~~~

Within a few minutes, Lauren was at the front door. Mika had only arrived seconds ahead of her, and she let her in before she'd had the chance to ring the doorbell.

She glanced down to check the woman's footwear. As she'd expected, she was wearing house slippers. Lauren stepped out of her shoes, intending to enter in her stockinged feet, but with a smile, Mika indicated a small rack of guest slippers. "Please," she said, and Lauren slipped her feet into a pair.

Mika stopped suddenly after taking a step into her living room. Lauren almost collided with her. "Oh, I hope you're not allergic to cats," Mika said.

"I'm not," said Lauren.

With both women in slippers, Mika was about two inches shorter than her, or about five five. Taller than she'd first guessed, but of course Lauren had been wearing her pumps, while Mika had only the cute pink socks.

Under her coat, Mika wore a sweater and warm pants. "Will you give me a moment to change?" she asked, gesturing toward the living room. "I've started the kettle. I'll brew tea in a moment."

"Of course," Lauren said.

"Feel free to look around," Mika said, before leaving in the other direction.

A tall, unobtrusive speaker stood on either side of the large TV. Beside one was a yellow and white cat. It raised its head and an amber eye turned balefully upon Lauren. After a few seconds, it lost interest and the head lowered to rest on an outstretched paw.

Photos were arranged elegantly on the alabaster eggshell walls. Most were of weddings. They must be Mika's professional work. Most of the couples were women, but there were a few with two grooms and two with both genders.

When Mika returned, she wore a black shirt with an image of a teapot, proclaiming itself a "Tea Shirt," and dark blue capri pants. Her boyish figure didn't detract from her femininity. Her intense dark eyes, small nose and narrow chin gave her a delicate beauty. But it wasn't her looks that attracted Lauren to her. Well, not only her looks. The remote expression she'd worn when they met made her feel that something in Mika's past had been very hard for her, yet she was strong in spite of it, and in spite of her shyness and possible loneliness. In the short time Lauren had spent with her, she was coming to feel that she had a depth to her character that drew her in. A personal gravity.

Nodding to the sleeping creature by the speaker, Lauren said, "He seems like an efficient watch cat."

"Oh, she is," Mika replied. "You would not pass her if you were carrying chicken. Or even cat food, if she's hungry enough. Her name's Janeway." She gazed fondly at the cat for a moment. The cat ignored her name. "I will bring us tea," she said.

Lauren introduced herself to the cat with a tentative scratch on the back of her neck. She opened up an eye again, decided she didn't need the excitement of thirty seconds of wakefulness, and ignored her completely.

One photo drew her back to study again. Two young brides were gazing blissfully into each other's eyes, each with a beauty and radiance that only exists at a wedding. In a typical wedding pose, they were each a quarter turn from face on to the camera, so that the photographer could capture them fully while they looked only at each other.

One of the women seemed barely more than a teenager. She had red hair in a complex weave that had been brought forward over her left shoulder. Even styled, it fell almost to her waist. Her dress was white, with an unusual pale violet shade seeming to glow through an outer gauzy sheath in places. Her eyes were narrowed and lips parted in what appeared to be candid laughter, both hands holding her wife's wrist.

The other was maybe slightly older, but not by a great deal. She had hair of pale gold, partly braided into a crown, partly woven down below her shoulders, with some teased out to frame her face. Her dress was more traditionally white, and more revealing than the younger girl's. Her eyes were a startlingly bright blue, and her expression was adoring.

Many of the other photos were just as good, perhaps better, but this one had pride of place. "I love this," Lauren said, hearing Mika entering the room. The movement stopped, and she wondered if maybe she hadn't heard the woman entering the room, but when she turned around, Mika was frozen in place, blinking. After a moment, she stepped forward and lowered the tray she carried gingerly to the coffee table before speaking, her face lowered so that Lauren couldn't see her expression.

"That's not one of mine," she said. Her voice was husky.

"I thought these were all yours," Lauren said, uncomprehending.

Mika looked up. Her expression was more bleak than at any time she'd seen her. She seemed to be looking fifty yards past Lauren, though her eyes were on her face. "Look more closely," she said, softly.

Lauren turned back to the photo. The blonde was stunningly beautiful, in a classical Western style. Other than how lovely she was, Lauren didn't see anything curious about her. She turned her attention back to the redhead. The unusual dress she wore had long, flowing sleeves, and a wide belt. The edge of a large bow peeked out from behind her. But there was something familiar about her slightly upturned eyes. Although they were far more alive in this photo than they had been whenever Lauren had seen them...

The words spilled out fast, as if Lauren didn't know she'd be able to speak if she'd held them back. "Oh, my God, this is you."

The weight of the image's meaning crashed into her. This wasn't Mika and an ex. It wouldn't be here, given such central meaning, if the blonde was merely someone who'd parted ways with her. She felt her eyes begin to water before she turned back around. She couldn't see the expression of the woman now seated at the table, because her sight was blurring. She took the chair across from her, and picked up the napkin Mika had thoughtfully provided to dab at her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Lauren said. "I assume..." she trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence.

"February, 2020," Mika said. "Her funeral was just before St. Valentine's day."

"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry," said Lauren.

Her eyes had cleared enough to see that Mika was looking toward the photo. After a moment, she took a risk, and extended her left hand across the coffee table. Mika glanced down, frowned for a moment, then reached out and took the hand in her right, giving Lauren a weak smile.

Lauren held the hand tightly. After a minute she picked up the teacup and took a small sip. "Can you tell me about her?" she asked, in a whisper, as she set the cup back down.

Mika studied her for what felt like a minute or two before nodding, not releasing her hand.

"She is very beautiful," Lauren said, when the pause stretched out for longer. "Both of you are. And your love is a part of that. It shines through."

Mika nodded again.

"Her name was Nicole. We met in Oxford in 2012," she began. "I was studying for a BFA, while she was working on a D Phil. We'd planned to stay in England while I continued on to an MFA, but she had to move back to the States in 2014. I had another year on my degree program, but I was graduating right as the gay marriage ruling was announced, so we rushed to get married, so that I could get my green card and be with her." She shook her head. "I'm so glad we hurried. I'd have had so much less time with her if we'd delayed."

She picked up her tea left-handed, not giving up Lauren's hand. After taking a sip and replacing it in its saucer, she continued.

"We'd been married four and a half years. I was trying hard to think of something I could get her for Valentine's. The weather had been just a little frosty, with constant drizzle. The roads weren't bad but they were damp and muddy. Seems someone stepped out from behind a van that was stopped on the motorway shoulder, startling a driver who changed lanes to avoid them. A lorry that was about to pass him swerved and jackknifed. Nicole was one more lane over, behind the lorry, and then under it. They cut her out, but she'd passed minutes earlier, they said."

Stress or grief had apparently made Mika forget to translate from her English to Lauren's, and it was only 'jackknifed' that gave her the clue that she was talking about an eighteen wheeler. She shuddered. "Oh, Christ, Mika," she said, and again, "I'm sorry."

"She was the only fatality, but there were five others injured in the pileup that happened. She never had to deal with lockdowns and masks," Mika said. "Weddings weren't happening, and I was trapped here without her. I almost tried to sell the place, but where would I have gone? And I'm glad I didn't. Sometimes not hearing her voice hurts so much, but it would hurt more to have given up a place that we both put so much of ourselves into. I did live in the flat for a couple of years. It wasn't only a studio. Now I'm mostly okay here." She gave Lauren a weak smile. "So are you still sure you want to try dating?"

Lauren nodded slowly. "I see that it's a much bigger deal than I'd known, but yes. I think the bigger question is, do you want to?"

Mika gave a small, noncommittal shrug. "I'm really not ready to date," she said. "But I won't be ready in five years. Fifteen. I want to try to be brave enough to do it anyway. But I will never not be in love with my wife. Can you live with that?"

"If you have the courage to date while feeling that way, I think I can," said Lauren. "You're worth getting to know, and that's all we're doing, isn't it? If I'm ever disrespectful toward Nicole, you have my permission to slap me silly."

That caused Mika to give her a quick grin. "Don't give up on me too quickly," she said. "I'm doing better than I was in 2020. That was such a bad year. But I still have difficult days."

"I understand," said Lauren. "Thank you for telling me."

She felt she understood Mika's melancholy now, or at least the reasoning behind it. Understanding loss that deep probably required living through it. Was she really ready to try to get close to someone with such complex feelings and such a traumatic past? Someone who was clearly deeply in love with another?

Sitting across from her, seeing not only the pain but the love Mika was capable of, she felt she saw an inner beauty that dwarfed yet complemented the outer beauty that had initially attracted her. She really did want to try to be closer to her.

A movement caught her eye. The yellow and white cat was on the move. Her tail was high in the air as she crossed to where Mika sat, rubbed herself against the woman's legs one time, then sauntered out in a different direction. She looked up to see Mika watching her watch the cat.

"She was Nicole's," Mika said. "She got her after she returned to the States, before I could come here for the wedding." She gave a brief smile. "She gave her the name, though I think it's a good one."

"Ten years ago, then?" Lauren asked.

The dark-haired woman nodded. "Janeway missed her too, after..." She broke off, but she didn't need to say the words again. "She would stalk around the house, crying. But during the night she would curl up on me and purr. Before that, she hadn't really considered me worth noticing."

"Seems like you were there for each other," Lauren said. "Maybe I could be here for you, too. We've only just started dating, but I hope you'll let me know if there's anything I can do to support you."

Mika nodded again. "I feel like I've dumped a lot on you. I hadn't intended to do that. I won't fault you if you don't want to meet again. Please eat your cookies, though," she added, with a small smile. She released Lauren's hand, having held it for so long that it felt strange to Lauren to have control of her fingers again. "I'll pour more tea."

Lauren left after the next round of tea. She felt she'd imposed enough on Mika at a time she'd accidentally made stressful. She promised to call or text her within the next few days.

~~~~~

Lauren: "Do you want to try the park again? Weather forecast is improving."

Mika: "Indeed. We can return here to listen to music if it's too chilly."

Lauren: "Why not? Or we could get pizza. Do you eat pizza?"

Mika: "Does anyone not eat pizza?"

~~~~~

The day was cool, but dry, with little wind. The footpaths were a mass of leaves, which crunched or squelched underfoot. They walked a full circuit of the park this time, narrowly avoiding being bowled over by a child on a skateboard who was using a slope on the public path as a ramp. Lauren wasn't sure if it was a boy or girl under the heavy coat.

Halfway around the path, Lauren slipped her hand into Mika's. She wasn't sure what the reaction would be, but Mika wrapped her fingers around it, gripping lightly but positively.

"You said you were studying fine arts in Oxford," Lauren said. "I googled what that means. It sounds impressive, and incredibly competitive. Did you specialize in photography?"

Mika shook her head. "We worked in several media. I had a notion of becoming a sculptor. Photography paid the bills when I moved to the States."

"Oh, that's cool! Do you still sculpt?"

"Not since..."

"Ah," said Lauren. "I'm sorry, I'm being insensitive, aren't I?"

"No, it's not that," Mika replied. "Even if it was, I don't want to shut down. Listen..." She glanced at Lauren, then looked at the ground in front of her. Lauren waited for her to continue. "If you're really interested, I'll show you my last piece. You'll understand why it's hard to talk about. But it can't be a conversation ender."

"I'd like to see it," Lauren said. "Is there any other art you've pursued? Or just photography."

This time, Mika smiled. "Shall we eat pizza on the way to my house, or call for delivery? I'd like to show you around."

~~~~~

They arrived at Mika's large yellow house after sharing a deep dish pizza. "I meant to ask if you wanted me to get some coffee," Mika said. "I only have tea here."

"The tea has been good," said Lauren. "I can drink coffee at home."

"Then I'll put the kettle on," the slender woman announced. "Would you like me to take your coat?"

She returned a moment later, having taken off her coat and sweater. Lauren saw her tee shirt, and though she tried to suppress her laughter, it burst free. "Oh, God," she said.

Mika's face seemed a little flushed. "Do you like it? I've had it for donkey's years. It was a gift. Nicole thought it was hilarious. I thought you might, too."

The front of the tee had images of several birds, generally chickadee shaped, but in an array of colors. At the top of the shirt, in block letters, were the words "SMALL BRITISH TITS."

"I don't think I can make any comment without sounding crass," said Lauren, adding, "but... nice birds."

"Be honest. You almost said nice tits, didn't you?"

"I did not," Lauren replied. "I didn't even think it. I promise!"

"I'm not as offended by language as you Yanks can be," Mika said, "and I'm quite aware that I'm underwhelming in the breast department. That's why the shirt is so funny. And they are quite British."

Now it was Lauren's turn to blush. "I, uh, don't think anything about you is underwhelming, Mika. I think you're very attractive, head to toe, and will you please show me around the house before I say something I will regret?"

"Of course," her companion said. "I wasn't fishing for compliments," she added, smiling, "but for the record, I think you're very attractive, too. Call me shallow, but I wouldn't have agreed to a first date if i didn't. Just thought I should get that out there."

Lauren didn't object to the turn the conversation had taken, but she felt nervous nonetheless. "Guided tour?" she suggested.

This time Mika's cheeks dimpled when she smiled. "Fine," she said. She led Lauren out of the living room. "This is my room." She opened the first door in the hallway. "Well, right, they're all my room now, but this was always my relaxation room. It's where I would come when I felt stressed or homesick. I still do. I should mention that you get a special dispensation since you're on the official tour, but I do not allow any electronics in the room."

"Damn, that sounds like a great idea," said Lauren.

The room was a moderate size, but was very bare. The walls were painted in a soft cream, with brown trim. There was a low table, lower than a coffee table, surrounded by cushions. The room had French doors which opened onto the central yard. The evening had turned to dusk, but she could see the rental apartment. The light of a single street lamp flickered through the maple that overhung it.

There was a single watercolor painting in the room. It was a Japanese or Japanese-influenced image of open doors, shoji - was that the name? - translucent paper in a wooden frame. A small amount of light seemed to glow through the paper where it wasn't shadowed by the wall. Below the door stretched a tatami floor, and through the doorway a small pagoda was dwarfed by a huge tree, small red maples and traditional water features in the foreground. The brush strokes where the painting faded to blank paper had the appearance of calligraphy.

Lauren assumed it was a traditional painting, and was about to turn away from it when she was struck with a sense of familiarity. She turned back to the painting to study the tree, then looked out through the French doors. The one in the painting was much larger in scale than the one she was looking at, but... "Fuck," she breathed, then felt guilty for her language. "Uh, I mean... you painted this."

"I did," said Mika.

"The tree is the same. Everything else is... reimagined? This room is the tatami room, right?"

"It's how I picture it, yes," Mika replied. "I mean, we didn't have a wood frame house in England, but Dad was culturally very much Japanese, so I recreated the room to feel close to him and Mum."

"Your mother was Japanese too?"

Mika gave a half smile. "Technically no, she's British, but second generation of Japanese descent. Dad met her in Newcastle after he'd moved from Tokyo. She stayed in England with me when he had to return, but she'd spend long vacations in Japan while I was at school, and she moved there permanently as soon as I was at university."

"Do you speak Japanese?"

Mika placed her palms on her thighs and bowed, then spoke a stream of words that Lauren didn't understand in the slightest, except she thought she heard "Fujita" somewhere in the mix.

She grinned. "Did you just introduce yourself?"

"I did," said Mika.

"For all I know, you could have said 'these are small British tits,'" Lauren said.

Mika's smile was mischievous. "The double-entendre doesn't translate. I could say 'this tee shirt has small British birds,' or I could say something that would be considered very impolite. I did neither."

Lauren looked at the painting again. "Well, this is amazing," she said. "You should sell prints. If that wouldn't be demeaning the work." She turned back to Mika. "You said you had a sculpture to show me."

The woman's face lost its lighthearted expression, but she nodded. "Yes." She held out her hand to Lauren, but seemed uneasy. Lauren took the offered hand, and let her lead her out of the room.

~~~~~

"This is my bedroom," she said, opening the door at the end of the hall. "Please don't look too closely."

The room was very neat. Mika had nothing to be embarrassed about in its presentation, but Lauren avoided looking directly at anything but the display shelf the shorter woman stood before. In center place, between two small paintings on stands, was the head of a woman in marble. The detail was incredible. Eyes, eyebrows and hair were all lifelike. Lauren couldn't envision how it could be made so perfectly.

She recognized the face, though she'd only seen it in a single photo. As if in confirmation, a crystal ring holder on the left side of the piece held a diamond engagement ring and a gold wedding band. "Nicole," she stated. "It's beautiful. How long did it take?"

"I worked on it for about two years," Mika said. "Mostly during the pandemic, when there were no weddings, but I continued when business picked up. Creating it was difficult, at first, but I think it was important for me."

"Did you work on it here?" Lauren asked. "In the apartment?"

Mika shook her head. "I own a place a few miles away. My workshop is behind my business office."

Lauren gazed at the piece for a long time. She wanted to ask if she could touch it, but given the subject, that would seem weird. She had forgotten that she was still holding Mika's hand, and almost jumped when she felt fingers tighten around hers. Returning the pressure, she turned to find the woman watching her.

"You are wondering if I am obsessed with my late wife," Mika said. Which was not quite true, though the thought had crossed Lauren's mind. "I am not. I said I still love her, and I always will, but I do have a life without her. We've talked about her, maybe we've talked too much, but I think it's important that you know. I find myself sad, at times, but creating this took much of the sting away."

"After I left the other day I was thinking about what you went through," said Lauren. "You'd moved from England. You'd given up your degree plans. You lost all of that, too, and right at the time when everyone was isolating and shutting down. You had no support system here, did you?"

Mika gave her a weary smile. "It's true," she said. "And with my parents in Ibaraki prefecture, I felt like I didn't have a home anywhere but the one I'd made with Nicole." She gestured around with her free hand. "This is home to me, now, and I'm content."

Lauren looked from Mika to the representation of her wife. Five years ago both faces would have been real. Could her art move beyond recreating that time? "Will you ever sculpt again?"

Mika pursed her lips in thought. She lifted her free hand to indicate a clear glass heart with streaks of pale gold at one end of the shelf. At the other end was a similar heart with pale green streaks. "These two were part of a work I'd planned. Two hearts in random motion, each occasionally eclipsing the other. But I couldn't make the vision work, and now I don't know what the individual hearts represent. Sometimes a concept doesn't come together. I abandoned this one before the accident. I'd like to say I'll find a new concept, but it can be hard to know. I do feel I'll get there."

~~~~~

Mika released Lauren's hand, then touched her arm, guiding her out of the bedroom. Lauren followed her back to the living room. Inside, Mika closed the door, then stepped close to Lauren, not quite invading her personal space, but her heart skipped a beat.

"There's one thing that I'm not content with," Mika said. She was looking at the floor, her cheeks slightly flushed. "You have been very accepting and sensitive, even knowing my... limitations. I like being with you. And I haven't kissed a woman in several years. I'd like to correct that situation."

Lauren felt a thrill of excitement. "I did say I want to help, didn't I?" She leaned toward the woman, who turned her face up. Their lips met, touched, separated, then met again. Mika's lips were soft against hers.

She relaxed her lips, almost to the point of letting them part, then touched them to Mika's upper lip, holding the contact for longer. Repeating the move, she allowed her lips to part slightly, testing the waters, as they touched the edge of Mika's upper lip, sucking gently. She felt the woman step slightly closer, her hands moving to Lauren's hips. Mika's lips parted against her lower lip, and the excitement in her belly grew.

Drawing back, she looked into Mika's eyes. They were darker, a sense of anticipation in her expression. Sliding her own hands around the woman's waist, she drew her close as she met her parted lips, feeling the movement of her breath against her mouth. Mika pressed her face more firmly to hers, and she sensed a slight groan sneak out of the woman's throat.

The sound became a catalyst, the kiss deepening almost without her volition. Lauren's lips parted further, the other woman's mouth moving as they both changed positions, lips caressing lips. Mika's arms crept around her, then her tongue lightly brushed Lauren's. Instantly, her breathing became heavy. The warmth of desire grew within her, and she sought out Mika's tongue with her own, caressing it.

Mika groaned again. Her hands left Lauren, then reappeared at the back of her neck, one drifting down to her shoulder blades as the other pinned Lauren's face to hers.

This time Lauren groaned with the intensity of her craving. Mika might have been five years without being kissed, but it was at least two years for her, and much more since she'd kissed anyone with close to Mika's passion. She was going to have trouble not wanting more. Correction - she already wanted more. She was going to have trouble not pushing for more. The feel of the woman's lips, her tongue, her scent, her body against Lauren's chest...

She laughed. She couldn't help it, drawing back as quickly as Mika, clearly startled, did. The woman blinked a few times.

"Sorry," Lauren wheezed. "I suddenly thought about having small british tits pressed against me."

Mika grinned in amusement, then reached to take her hand. "To be fair, you did," she said. "And they weren't complaining." She turned Lauren toward the sofa.

"Of course they weren't," Lauren retorted. "They're just painted birds on cotton."

"Right," Mika said.

~~~~~

Lauren sat on the sofa. She hoped there'd be more kissing, but she didn't want to push. Though maybe she should. Waiting for Mika to take the lead might allow her to stay within her boundaries, but it put pressure on her in a different way, making her responsible for the progress of their relationship. Maybe Lauren needed to share the load.

The obvious answer was to talk about it.

Mika brought the ever present tray with tea and cookies. "Can I put on a CD? How far do your classical tastes extend?" she asked. "Shostakovich? Shoenberg? Sibelius? Schubert? Stravinski?"

Lauren grinned. "Anyone not beginning with S?"

"Probably, if I look hard enough. What letter would you prefer?"

"Just play something you like," Lauren said.

Mika selected a CD from the rack, slid it into a slot, then returned to the sofa with a remote. The piece began; a bright solo violin over quiet strings. Lauren recognized it, but didn't want to derail the conversation she wanted to have.

Disturbed by the sounds from beside her ear. Janeway stood, giving the speaker a disgusted glare. Mika sipped her tea.

"Uh, I'm sorry about laughing a few minutes ago," Lauren said. "I interrupted the kissing. Would you like to... continue?"

Mika gave her an uneasy look. "I would, and I wouldn't. At least, not today. You're the first girl I've kissed in five years. I enjoyed it very much. Enough that I feel nervous." She set her tea down, then reached for Lauren's hand. "I think there will be more snogging in our future, if I don't manage to drive you away."

"I think you'll have to try harder to do that," Lauren said, her hand nestling into the woman's. "I like you, Mika. I'm willing to wait. Especially if there will be more snogging. That, uh, is the same as kissing, right?"

"Well, yes, but not quite," said Mika. "I'd say kissing with feeling. You wouldn't snog your mum or a friend. You don't pass the snog of peace at church, unless it's a very unusual church."

"Making out?" Lauren suggested.

"More or less, I suppose," Mika agreed, "but just the kissing part." She grinned. "Honestly, I think that's the first time I've used the word since first year uni. I used to like a good snog. I snogged a lot of girls before Nicole. She and I did, of course, but snogging means something more casual to me."

"You told me a little about how you and she met, the other day," Lauren said, "but I think I'd like to know her better. Would you tell me more about her?"

Mika's eyes clouded. Her hand seemed to go tense in Lauren's. It was several seconds before she nodded, slowly. "I think I would," she said. She released Lauren's hand to pick up her tea. Lauren felt regret when she continued to hold the tea instead of her hand. She took a sip of her own tea. It was good.

The lighting in the living room was low. Lauren caught a glint of blue in Mika's eyes, realizing after a moment that it was the reflection of the glow of the sound system. After a moment, her companion nodded. "I'd come out to my parents just before leaving for uni. They weren't as surprised as I'd expected. Maybe a little disappointed, hoping they'd been wrong about me, but mostly supportive. I'd had girlfriends before then, but at my all-girl boarding school, where it was both not uncommon and a deep, dark secret.

"After telling them, I could come out of the closet, and although I was shy I seemed to be popular with the girls. Mostly artists."

"This is when all the snogging happened," suggested Lauren.

"Well, yes. And maybe a bit more," she said. There was a distant look in her eyes again, but this time the memories seemed to be fond ones. "I'd seen Nicole around and thought she was cool, even though she was a Yank." She gave Lauren a quick smirk. "But I'd never have talked to her. She was older, and a doctoral student. Her field was cell biology. We got tossed onto the same Pride project. She was everything I wasn't. Outgoing, American, sciency, brilliant. She had international scholarships for her doctorate. But we hit it off, somehow, and were dating by the end of the year. We were going to stay in England, and we'd talked about getting married, but she was recruited by a biotech startup. She was going to turn it down, but I persuaded her to come back to talk to them, and she couldn't pass up the opportunity.

"So we were long distance for a year. Then she proposed, the gay marriage ruling happened, and Nicole worked frantically to get me a marriage visa.

"After we married, I lived with her and Janeway in an apartment. She was a senior scientist at, umm, twenty-six, I guess, and the company was outperforming expectations, so she was well paid. I told her I didn't want to be a kept woman," she said, with a brief grin, "so I took a job with a wedding photographer and found I loved it. In 2018 we bought this place, and I started my own business. In 2019 the company went public. Nicole's shares were vested, and it looked like we were set for life." She sighed. "But that turned out to be only half a year. I've told you about that, though.

"My parents had visited for the wedding, and they returned for the funeral. They were very supportive, but they live half a world away. Nicole's parents became my rock, but even they are a good distance away. They live on the coast. We arranged to bury her near them, because travelling is much easier for me than it would be for them."

"Do you visit often?" Lauren asked, softly.

"St. Valentine's day, without fail," Mika replied, promptly. "And whenever her parents invite me for anything, so maybe three to four times a year."

She was silent for a long time. Lauren wasn't sure if she should say something else about her situation. Eventually Mika spoke again.

"Thank you for letting me tell you this," she said. Her smile was genuine, if still touched with a hint of sorrow. "I still worry that you think I'm obsessed with her, but even a year ago I couldn't have shared so much, and it helps me enormously to be able to speak about it."

Lauren chanced reaching for her hand again. Mika smiled as she took it, and returned her squeeze. "I want you to be comfortable with me, Mika. Nicole is important to you, and I wouldn't want you to feel you have to hide that."

In response, her companion lifted her hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles. She gave her a smile that held very little of the sadness of moments earlier. "Thank you," she said again. Releasing Lauren's fingers, she asked, "Can I bring you more tea?"

"Yes, please," Lauren replied. She would offer to help, but Mika seemed to want to provide this kindness.

When her companion returned, Lauren said, "I like this."

"The tea?" Mika seemed puzzled, since she'd just set the cup down for her.

"Well, that, yes, but I meant the music. It's Mendelsohn? Not an S."

"It is," Mika agreed. "Hilary Hahn. But it's followed by Shostakovich."

Lauren chuckled. "Maybe we can move on to another letter next time."

Mika's smile held affection. "This is one thing I'm pleased to be able to share. I could never interest Nicole in most of the music I like. She was all Miley Cyrus and Beyoncé."

"Don't you diss my Miley!" Lauren objected. "I grew up with Hannah Montana! Though I love Miley more than Hannah. And Beyoncé is great! I bet you're not a Swiftie, either."

Mika pursed her lips and blinked. "I don't really dislike any of them," she said. "I never objected to Nicole blasting Beyoncé when she had a difficult work problem to solve. I just didn't get into it."

Lauren sighed. "It's alright. Not everyone has good taste." She gave a half smile to show she wasn't serious. "I won't try to convert you. Did you not grow up with Hannah Montana? Wasn't it a thing in the UK?"

"I suppose it was popular enough, but no, it never caught my attention," Mika said. "I sincerely regret the absence of good taste on my part."

"No you don't," Lauren said, "but I forgive you."

Mika gave her a shy smile. "Uh, would you like me to get tickets to the symphony this weekend?"

Lauren frowned. "Surely it's sold out now?"

"I think I can find us something. If you'd like to go," Mika said.

"Well, okay, if you can, I'd like that."

Partway through the subsequent Shostakovich concerto, Lauren felt a touch on her leg. Looking down, she found Janeway, who had climbed over Mika, trying to push between them. She absently petted the cat as it settled for curling up on both of them.

When the CD was finished, Lauren eased herself out from under the cat, who gave her an annoyed glare. "I should head home," she said. "Let me know about the concert."

Mika stood, too. The cat let out an exasperated mew, then stalked out of the room.

At the door, Lauren turned to face Mika, who was right behind her. She wasn't sure if she should give her a goodnight kiss. After the session in the hallway, she'd have expected so, but would it be insensitive to kiss Mika after she'd shared so much personal story around her late wife?

"Thank you for today," she said instead. She was about to turn away when the woman leaned forward and pressed her lips to hers. Caught off-guard, she reached for Mika to steady herself, and suddenly their kiss was intense, the shorter woman's arms wrapping around her back as she gripped her waist tightly. Mika's tongue met hers, and it took all of Lauren's will not to moan at the sudden heat.

When they separated, she was pleased to see that Mika looked as shaken as she felt. Her cheeks were flushed, and her breathing heavy. Her expression seemed slightly shocked. Lauren leaned in again, touching her lips chastely to the other woman's, defusing the unexpected burst of passion. "I'll see you this weekend," she said, then turned to leave as Mika just nodded, mutely.

~~~~~

As a bank officer, Lauren was familiar with networking events and social obligations. She had a good range of cocktail wear to choose from for her symphony date. She selected a floor-length bottle green off the shoulder dress, with a neckline low enough not to be considered conservative, but not low enough to be risqué. She found the lowest heels she had that would work with the dress, and wore a heavy coat against the cold evening.

She had offered to drive, so she picked Mika up at her house. She changed into her heels while waiting in line for valet parking, then moved around to the passenger side to meet Mika as she stepped out of the car and took her arm.

"I'm looking forward to seeing what you turn into without your coat," Lauren whispered.

"Turn into?" Mika asked, with a chuckle. "Do you think I will be a frog?"

"You can't be a frog," Lauren said, "because then if I kiss you you'll turn into a prince. I wouldn't want you to be a prince."

Mika's eyes widened at the mention of kissing. Lauren hadn't been sure if she should make the comment, but she didn't seem to react negatively to it.

At the coat check, Lauren saw Mika's dress for the first time. She wore a deep blue one-shoulder sheath dress, with hose and medium heels. She was gorgeous.

"Definitely a princess," said Lauren. "Not a frog."

Mika's eyes seemed shy as they met hers.

"How did you develop an interest in classical music?" Mika asked, as they waited for the concert to start. "It seems unusual here."

"Same as you, I think," Lauren said. "I learned to play the flute in high school. We only had band and a chamber orchestra, which was mostly strings, but they often called on band members when the selection called for a wind section. I always wished I could play in a real orchestra, so I listened to classical music and imagined it."

"That's both sad and inspiring," Mika said. "There was nothing you could join outside school?"

"Not with having to find transport twenty miles each way a couple of times a month," Lauren said, "and it would have conflicted with band. I wouldn't have had the perseverance to continue into college, anyway."

"Yes, I gave up the cello when I went to university," Mika said. "I was doing too much even without it."

The orchestra program was all American composers. Nothing that was new to Lauren. She surreptitiously observed Mika, who was clearly enjoying the music. If at times she wore the distant expression of memory, the memories were clearly ones she did not regret. She seemed particularly rapt listening to Gershwin. After the applause for that piece ended, she felt Mika's hand steal into hers. She looked up to meet Mika's eyes. She was smiling, her cheeks glowing.

When she'd driven Mika home, Lauren hurried around to the passenger door to help the other woman out. Mika seemed very much the princess that she'd named her as she walked her to the door.

Their goodnight kiss was affectionate but chaste, Lauren was about to step back, when Mika spoke.

"You said I could take you to Natsu," she said. "Could I reserve a table for Friday?"

"I'd like that," Lauren replied. "Thank you for today."

"Thank you for coming with me," Mika said. "I'll see you on Friday."

~~~~~

Natsu was a moderately-sized restaurant downtown. They arrived in a taxi, Lauren having left her car at Mika's house. After consulting with Mika, she'd dressed in a light green satin blouse, buttoned to just below her collar bones, and a black knee-length skirt. Mika wore a sky blue silk high-necked sleeveless top, patterned with pink roses, and a dark blue open jacket. She also wore a black skirt, though hers was mid-thigh.

The hostess, a girl a little younger than Lauren, gave Mika a warm welcome. She clearly knew her, and greeted her in soft Japanese, Mika replying in kind, before adding, in English, "And this is my friend Lauren." At that, the girl gave her a small bow and welcomed her.

She seated them at a table for two, picking up a "Reserved" card and leaving a pair of menus.

A waitress appeared almost immediately. She also spoke to Mika for a moment, then left.

"Everyone knows you here, I guess?" said Lauren.

Mika nodded. "Will you allow me to order for you? I can ask what they recommend. Is there anything you like or don't like?"

Lauren folded her menu closed. "No. You choose. I'd like that."

Lauren found the meal, sushi, sashimi, and pork ramen, excellent. Mika explained that this has been a favorite restaurant of hers since her first arrival. She didn't visit for a couple of years after Nicole's passing, but when she returned everyone remembered her, though they were dismayed on her behalf at her loss.

When they'd both finished eating, Mika asked if Lauren wanted dessert. She was about to decline when an older man in heavy glasses approached the table. He wore an off-white uniform with a high, round collar of dark green, and a breast pocket of the same shade.

Seeing him, Mika scrambled to her feet. Lauren stood more slowly, as Mika and the newcomer bowed to each other. They exchanged what sounded like a polite greeting, Mika adding something else before turning to introduce Lauren, in English this time, as a friend.

"Mr. Yoshida owns the restaurant," she said.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Mr. Yoshida," she said.

He smiled at her, then asked what they would both like for dessert, "As a gift from our family."

Lauren didn't feel able to refuse so she asked for whatever he would recommend. Mika followed suit.

A moment later, a waitress brought a confection consisting of a tempura fried banana with caramel and ice cream. Mr. Yoshida returned with a different carafe of sake and two more cups. Mika raised her cup, holding it delicately in two hands as he poured for her. Lauren attempted to imitate her, sipping the sake two-handed before setting the cup down.

"When we get to your place, I think I will need coffee and a few minutes rest before I can drive home," she whispered. "I'm feeling a little buzzed. Tea, I mean."

"You don't need to hurry to leave," Mika said. "We can listen to a CD or watch TV."

Fortunately, the desserts were not the bloated creations that many restaurants served, and were easy to finish. Or would have been, if Lauren hadn't let the final bite slip from her fork. Ice cream landed on her blouse, and a string of caramel trailed down behind it, landing lower on the fabric before she managed to contain the accident by setting the fork down.

Embarrassed, she scrubbed at the satin, removing all of the ice cream and most of the caramel, but leaving darker green marks and an ugly brown streak where it had been.

"Goddammit," she whispered, "I survived the ramen noodles and eating with chopsticks, to do this with regular silverware."

"That's it, I'm cutting you off," said Mika, sliding the now-empty sake cup away from her, a grin on her face. "I can't take you anywhere."

"At least it's washable," Lauren said. "But I should put my coat on before your friend Mr. Yoshida returns and sees me like this."

Mika nodded agreement, settled the bill, and arranged for the taxi home.

Lauren was fairly sure that her sake consumption hadn't caused the dessert mishap, but she was definitely too tipsy to drive. She was going to need to stay with Mika for an hour or two. She smiled. How unfortunate.

Her friend seemed even more delighted with the prospect of Lauren being stranded. She didn't seem any more tipsy than Lauren, but she was behaving oddly. Exuberantly. She changed into slippers at the door, of course, then tossed her jacket with accuracy onto a hook several feet away, and her purse onto a stand, then danced lightly into the kitchen, singing. She had a good voice.

After hanging up her own coat, Lauren followed her into the kitchen, where she'd started the electric kettle and was spooning tea into a clear glass pot, still singing. "Oh, I am what I am..."

"You fraud!" Lauren cried, grinning at Mika as she spun around, her jacket hanging from a finger until she dropped it over the back of a kitchen chair. "You claim to be indifferent to contemporary music, and you're dancing around singing Dido!" Mika's eyes shone as Lauren stepped close, into her personal space, but not close enough to feel like she might be making her uncomfortable as Mika leaned against the kitchen counter.

"It's a good song!" Mika countered. Her eyes held Lauren's for a moment, her cheeks seeming to gain a little color. She glanced down to Lauren's top. "We should wash that before the stain becomes worse." Then she slipped to the side, bypassing Lauren to head to the living room. "Come through."

Bemused, Lauren wandered into the living room, where Mika was replacing the CD in the player. A moment later, Dido's voice filled the room. Janeway, who was curled up on the couch, twitched her ear but ignored the music.

Mika pirouetted back around - no mean feet in slippers - stopping even closer to Lauren than they'd been in the kitchen. She traced the stain on Lauren's blouse, around her navel. "Take this off," she said. "Let me see the care labels." She began to unbutton the blouse.

She looked up again, one eyebrow raised.

"You're going to take my shirt off?" asked Lauren. "Right here?"

"I'll find you something to wear," Mika said, sounding aggrieved. A moment later, she returned with a dark red cami. Handing it to Lauren, she resumed unbuttoning the blouse.

When the final button was unfastened, she let the blouse hang loose, but didn't make any attempt to part it. Lauren turned away to shuck it off, passing it behind her to Mika, then shrugging into the cami. It was too tight in the chest, though it hung loosely over her stomach. The neckline wasn't much higher than the top of her demi-cup bra.

When she turned back around, Mika's eyebrows twitched. She'd clearly not expected it to fit quite so snugly. She took Lauren's hand and led her to the utility room.

Releasing Lauren, Mika studied the labels on the blouse. She reached for a spray to pretreat the stain, looking to Lauren for approval, using it at Lauren's nod. Swaying again to the sounds from the living room, she prepared the washer, dialing in a delay to allow the pretreatment to work before pressing the start button with a flourish.

When she turned back to face Lauren she glanced down at the cami. Her fingers came forward to brush the front of the fabric above her waist, observing the way it swayed. Then her gaze slowly lifted, taking in the cleavage that the cami revealed, until her eyes had travelled to Lauren's mouth.

Lauren knew what that meant, but she wasn't going to initiate. She didn't need to wait long. A moment later, the woman took the hem of the cami and tugged, drawing her closer, until she could raise her lips to Lauren's.

Mika's tongue immediately demanded admission. Lauren let it roam deep before meeting it with her own. She moved closer, pressing her face into the other woman's, holding her warm, bare shoulders to keep her in place as she closed her teeth on Mika's tongue and suckled, drawing a deep moan from Mika's chest.

Heart racing, Lauren drew her head back, letting her teeth slide along Mika's extended tongue before licking the tip, bringing another sound of passion from the woman. Then she took the initiative, fastening her mouth to Mika's, ramping up the intensity of the kiss.

Fingers caressing her sides felt like an electric charge, and her throat seemed to constrict with arousal. She moved her mouth to Mika's neck, drawing her teeth down the side, feeling the pulse point hammering against her lip. She kissed it, her friend's heartbeat rapid against her mouth.

When she pushed Mika back a few inches, the woman gave her a mischievous smile, but her eyes seemed feverish. Lauren pulled her out of the utility room and pressed her against the wall beside it before closing the gap between their bodies. Those electric fingers slid down, then back up inside the borrowed cami and around her back, the skin to skin contact inflaming her arousal.

The fingers met for a moment, then fumbled together. Lauren felt her bra straps drift down her back. Mika's hunger for her was building her own desire for the slender, captivating woman. She ran her own hands down to her skirt, bunching it and drawing it up until she could reach under the hem to Mika's ass. Mika moaned into the kiss as she kneaded the tight muscles.

Lifting Lauren's loosened bra, Mika cupped the breasts within, pinching her hardening nipples as she pressed herself forward into Lauren. Her hips began to rock, her breathing into the kiss heavier by the moment.

Lauren moved far enough to press her hip into the apex of Mika's thighs. Her hands continued to squeeze her ass, as Mika's hips rolled, dragging her pussy against Lauren. The loud moan she made drove Lauren's libido yet higher, but a whisper of rationality broke through Lauren's need. She drew her face back from her companion's.

"Mika," she groaned, "we need to stop. You don't want this."

The woman's eyes were on fire as they turned to Lauren's. "I do want this," she growled. "I do. I've wanted this since the day you came to me."

"Are you sure?" Lauren asked, not quite ready to yield to her own desire. There was something she wanted more than taking her immediately, and that was to be able to take her again, and again... and she didn't want to destroy their relationship when it had barely started.

Releasing her breasts, Mika drew her hands out of the borrowed cami, then wrapped them around Lauren's head. Holding her face so that their eyes were bare inches apart, she said, "I am sure, Lauren." She drew her face in, widely parted lips meeting Lauren's. Her whole body shuddered as they kissed, then she pushed Lauren's face back far enough to speak again. "I am... fucking sure."

The word shocked Lauren. She'd never heard her use even mild profanity. She must really have meant the words.

Lauren pressed her face forward again, but Mika held her back. "Lauren..." she groaned. "Don't... don't be gentle."

Before Lauren could express surprise, her face was yanked back against Mika's again. Hands moved back inside the cami, gripping her waist as Mika ground herself against her hip.

When Mika's tongue penetrated her lips, she bit it, making her partner shiver. Then she moved her hands to Mika's skirt, tugging it and then her own higher, so that only thin panties stood between her upper thigh and Mika's sex. Grabbing her ass again, she jerked Mika's body against her in powerful strokes.

Mika's moans grew louder. After another minute, she broke the kiss, moving her face to Lauren's ear, panting as she bit her earlobe.

There was a thunk from the next room.

Both women jumped, drawing away from each other. As the noise of running water followed it, they realized the washer had started, and both laughed. Lauren unfastened her partner's delicate top, then lifted it, Mika releasing her waist to lift her arms.

The top may have been delicate, but that didn't stop Lauren from tossing it aside while she lifted Mika's bralette. Her partner raised her arms again. This time, Lauren wrapped the fabric around Mika's wrists, binding them together, pinning her arms above her with one hand. Her exposed breasts were breathtaking, small, but perfectly shaped, her narrow nipples rock hard and quivering as she writhed.

Lowering her face to them, Lauren suckled, biting each nipple until Mika groaned and twisted in her hold.

The wall began to vibrate as the washer motors kicked in. Lauren dipped her free hand under Mika's skirt and into her panties, which were soaked with her arousal. Finding her clit, she began to stroke.

"Nnnnghhh..." Mika grunted, her body squirming in place.

"Do you like that?" Lauren whispered.

"More..." she groaned.

"There'll be more," Lauren agreed, then lowered her face to nip at her left breast, her teeth scratching the nipple.

"Hhhnnnnngh!" Mika rasped.

Lauren pressed a second finger into her panties, then moved her hand lower, pushing both fingers inside her, caressing the wall of her sex by curling and straightening them. Mika gasped as she curled them forward and began to rock her hand.

Mika's eyes were blown and unfocused when Lauren moved her face back to hers and began to kiss her savagely. She seemed surprised at the contact of Lauren's mouth, but she groaned and rubbed her tongue against Lauren's. Still locked in the kiss, Lauren pressed her thigh between Mika's legs, lifting it against the back of her own hand in a strong rhythm.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!" cried Mika, breaking the kiss. Lauren lifted her slightly, bearing her weight on the hand buried in her sex, thrusting her body against the hand as her partner's moans grew in volume.

Writhing against both of Lauren's hands, Mika's bound arms twisted and her thighs tensed as Lauren slammed her into the wall.

Mika's body began to stiffen. Her moans became strangled grunts, then stopped altogether. Her sex clenched around Lauren's fingers. Then she shook, gasping for air. Her breasts quivered as her body convulsed against Lauren's hand, a ferocious pulsing around her fingers confirming what the quaking of her body was telling her.

As Mika's gasps turned to sobs, Lauren slowly released the pressure of her hand and thigh from her sex. The sighs became sobs. Then Lauren realized the sobs were real. Tears were coursing down the lovely narrow face.

Contrition smacked against Lauren's pleasure at bringing her partner to climax. "Oh, Christ, Mika," she said, dropping her arms so that she could free herself from the bra. She hugged her. "Oh, God, I'm sorry."

Mika's head turned from side to side against Lauren's neck. She had dropped the bra behind Lauren to wrap her arms around her back, and Lauren's shoulder was wet with her tears. She hugged Lauren's body tightly to hers, then said, "No." She continued to weep, but her tears were slowly coming under her control.

"You did... nothing wrong," Mika finally managed to say. "It was what I wanted. But it's... hard." She detached herself from Lauren, her head bowed, her arms crossed over her breasts. "I'm sorry," she said, then she began to cry again. "I'm sorry."

Not sure what to do, Lauren collected her blue top, shaking it out gently. She held it out to Mika, who took it without looking up or uncrossing her arms, letting it hang from her fingers.

"I think... I think I need to be alone," Mika said. "I'll get your shirt to you." She choked up before continuing, "Should I find a cardigan to cover that?" She lifted her eyes just far enough to indicate the cami, then looked back down.

Lauren reached behind her, lifting the cami far enough to refasten her bra. "It'll be fine with my coat, Mika," she said. "Is there anything... I can..." Her voice trailed off.

Mika shook her head again. "No," she said, "I'll be okay." Her voice was soft, still rough with tears, but Lauren felt that she meant it. "Lauren..."

When she said nothing else for several seconds, Lauren said, "What, honey?"

"Just... don't give up on me. Please?"

"I won't, Mika," she said.

Completely sober after the time, exercise and events, Lauren put on her coat and shoes and left quietly.

~~~~~

Lauren didn't hear from Mika for almost a week. She was beginning to wonder if she should break the silence, but she really didn't want to risk it. Finally, her phone pinged early one morning.

Mika: "I thought I was ready."

Lauren: "I know, honey. I'm sorry."

There was no reply, and Lauren regretted using the term of endearment. But it had been a very casual one, and she felt it showed that she cared.

At around the same time on the next day, the phone pinged again. This time, Mika had sent her a YouTube link. She clicked through to find the Dido song "White Flag," the official video with David Boreanaz as the ex. After watching it through, she replied.

Lauren: "I love that song."

Mika: "Yes."

Then, in the absence of other communication, Lauren reconsidered the video link. Overanalyzed, maybe? "I'm in love, and always will be." Well, yes. She knew that. Was it a caution? Telling Lauren that she was wasting her time? Surely there would be more tactful ways to do that. Or perhaps it was the message of the song that she'd live her life in spite of a love she couldn't fulfill?

It had been one of the songs on the CD that Mika had played during their impromptu makeout session, which Mika had initiated. Was she reminding her of that? Telling her that Mika was thinking about what had happened?

Or was it just a song that Mika liked, that was meaningful to her? She wouldn't know if she didn't ask, but asking seemed risky.

Maybe the best response was to post a favorite song of her own, and if it could be one with a complex interpretation all the better. It took her an hour or more to choose something suitable. She was at her office when the idea of using a VNV Nation song occurred to her, and within a few minutes she sent a link to Teleconnect 2. Whatever the story behind the lyrics, they and the music told of challenge, overcoming adversity, and hope.

Then, of course, she started second guessing her choice. Perhaps Mika would see the last verse as memories of her lost love. But the deed was done.

It was mid-afternoon before Lauren's phone sounded again.

Mika: "You sent me rave music?"

Lauren: "You go to quality raves."

Mika: "Not in well over a decade. I'm not keen on not being in control. This song grew on me. How are you doing?"

Lauren: "Stressed from work."

Mika: "I made myself a shepherd's pie yesterday and I will have leftovers for days. Would you like to help me with it?"

Lauren: "Maybe, but I need to work late. Is the shepherd still fresh?"

Mika: "I used frozen shepherd, is that okay?"

Lauren: "It will do, I guess. I'll change first, You don't want me in my business suit."

Mika: "Maybe I do, at that. Would you like to collect a change of clothes and soak in my whirlpool tub?"

Lauren: "OMG YES."

Lauren: "I mean, oh, that does sound delightful."

Of course as soon as the text exchange was done, Lauren started to second guess herself again. The "OMG" was supposed to be ironically enthusiastic; she didn't worry about Mika misreading it. But had she leaped too quickly at Mika's invitation? She didn't want her to feel trapped by Lauren's eagerness to spend more time with her. But she couldn't take back her choice now.

Dusk arrived early in mid-november. It was completely dark when Lauren parked at the yellow house.

Mika seemed relaxed, which was a relief. She sensed that her friend was embarrassed, though she hid it well, especially when Lauren took off her coat, and she gave Lauren a thorough once over, from her tight bun to her black heels. She was wearing a knee length dark charcoal pencil skirt, with a matching jacket, buttoned, and plain black blouse.

"Your office is very formal?" Mika asked.

"Yeah, especially when I'm meeting a client. Even the men don't dress down much."

"Lucky client," Mika said. "You look fab. But I suppose the goal is to get you out of those, today. Let me show you where everything is."

When Mika left her alone in the bathroom with the water running, she stripped, folding her suit into the garment bag she'd brought for the purpose, then hanging the bag outside the room to avoid humidity.

Then she soaked in the most relaxing bath she'd taken in years. She only had a poky little tub at her house, so she only ever took showers. But this - she could soak in it for days. Literally, probably. Especially since the tub kept the water warm.

Mika knocked on the door at one point.

"You can come in, if you like," Lauren called out to her. "There are plenty of bubbles."

Mika declined that option, asking only when she thought she'd be ready for dinner.

"Tomorrow, maybe?" Lauren offered. Mika laughed. "Thirty minutes," Lauren said. "I think I can drag myself out in thirty. Or maybe forty."

That gave her time to soak just a little longer, and still have time to dry off and change into the short tank top and long lounge pants she'd brought. Her copper hair was damp, cascading over her shoulders, and her fingers were still wrinkled when she sought out Mika.

"Well, that is a different look," her friend said.

"Is it too casual?" Lauren asked. Even in her house, Mika was always well put together.

"No, you're quite dishy," Mika said. "I firmly approve."

The shepherd's pie was good. Lauren didn't often eat lamb, and the restaurant versions of shepherd's pie she'd tried from time to time were beef and bland. This was full and rich. There was wine, too, a heavy, dry red that complemented the flavor of the lamb.

"At the risk of undoing the relaxation of your bubble bath," Mika said, "why are you so stressed today?"

Lauren sighed. "Work stuff. I've told you I can bore a date to sleep."

"Tell me anyway," Mika urged. "I have no answers, but it might help to talk."

"If you're sure?" Lauren asked. "I'm being pressured to sign off on a large loan. The largest of my career so far. Even if everything was perfect, I'd be nervous. But I'm not convinced it is. I have two separate audits of the company, and all of the books between the two, and some of the numbers don't add up. Literally. It's a very small difference, but it should be perfect. So my managers and the client's attorneys are pushing me, but I don't think I've done my due diligence. I think I need at least a week longer."

"Will you be fired if you decline?" Mika asked.

"No, but I will have to document the reason. If I accept, I only have to point to the most recent audit for backup. But if I accept and the client defaults, it will be a huge black mark on my record."

"I see," Mika said. "So for your career it's worth being certain of your decision."

"Yes, but the company employs hundreds, and without a loan to get them through the next few months, they will probably be laying off most of them. So my career isn't the only one on the line."

"Still, keeping them afloat doesn't help much if they go pear-shaped in the next year, does it? In addition to your bank having to eat the costs of defaulting."

"Go... pear-shaped?" Lauren frowned.

"Nine years, and I still keep learning that I don't know what I thought I did," Mika said. "It means to go wrong, probably catastrophically. Now you know a new thing, too. It doesn't help, of course."

"I don't know, I might use it to distract the next guy who tries to hurry me along."

"And it does help me," Mika said. "Because you're wrong. You didn't put me to sleep at all."

"Don't challenge me," Lauren retorted. "I have far less interesting stories I can tell."

Mika laughed. After a moment's silence, she spoke again. "Would you like to come to my relaxation room with me?" Mika asked. "I'd like to talk."

"No phones, right?" asked Lauren. She placed her phone face down, to activate the do not disturb feature, then followed Mika. She spent a moment looking at the painting on the wall before sitting on the low cushion across from her friend.

"Thank you for being so understanding," Mika said. "I..." Her face was coloring. "I enjoyed what we did. Very much. I'd like to get back to that place again. I think it will take some time. I wasn't expecting to have such strong feelings."

"I can't regret causing strong feelings," said Lauren. "To be fair, I was having very strong feelings, too. I do regret that I caused you so much distress."

"I asked," Mika replied. "I'd had a very good evening. I think it made me a little... high? I'm not bipolar, but I feel like I was a little manic." She glanced up at Lauren, then looked away again. "I asked you not to be gentle. That's... not me."

Now that it was almost dry, Lauren's hair was drifting into her face. She brushed it back. "You seemed a little wild. I should have backed off when I sensed that."

Shaking her head, Mika said, "Please try to stop feeling guilty. I told you it was okay. It was much better than okay. I am just sorry for driving you away. Maybe I can return the favor... soon? I just don't know how soon."

Lauren pushed her hair back again. "I'll wait," she said. "I don't want you to be disappointed for me. You're under enough pressure."

Mika nodded slowly, then looked up at her. "Did you bring a hairbrush?"

"I did. I just didn't want to take the time to dry my hair."

"May I brush your hair for you?"

The question startled Lauren. "I'll fetch it."

When she returned, Mika had her turn to face the window, then sat cross-legged behind her. She began to brush out her hair in long strokes. The scratching of the bristles on her scalp was soothing. She found the experience relaxing.

She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensations. It was a surprisingly intimate feeling. Not just the brushing. Mika was so close to her that she could feel her presence, the occasional tickle of her breath against Lauren's neck. When she brought her hand up to move a strand of hair, her fingertips grazed her skin, feeling like a caress.

She knew she was attracted to Mika. She'd been attracted to her physically from the start; an attraction that only grew as she sensed her turmoil and her inner strength. She liked spending time with her. She was comfortable with her. She was fond of her. She was aroused by her - especially in their "snogging" sessions, and the time she'd had her fingers inside her, however unfortunate the outcome.

She wanted to be closer to her. She wanted their relationship to last. But the idea of being with her was both exhilarating and terrifying. What if Mika was never able to find room in her heart for both Nicole and Lauren? Her own heart would break.

"Why did you send me the Dido song?" she asked.

"I like it," Mika replied. "I listened to the CD again since it was in the player, and it reminded me of your visit."

"I wasn't sure if you were sending me a message," Lauren said. "About how hard it was to hide how much you love Nicole."

"I don't try to hide that," Mika said. "You know how I feel." She was silent for a moment before continuing. "It's a song about a woman coping through loss and dealing with the consequences of her choices. I don't think the situation applies directly. But I do think I want to move forward with my life in spite of what's gone before. If there's a message, it's that I'm not going to surrender. I like you, Lauren. If you felt I was trying to say you couldn't be important to me, then I apologize, because you already are."

It was early days in the relationship by any standard. She'd met Mika no more than a month ago, but Lauren was having a hard time imagining ever not wanting to be around this strong, sensitive woman. She would wait as long as needed for that to be possible. Mika seemed to be telling her that she was committed to reaching that point.

"I won't be here over Christmas," Mika said, interrupting her thoughts.

"Oh, really?" That was disappointing.

"It's a quiet time. I have no weddings until mid-January, so I'm going to spend a few weeks with my family."

"In Japan?" Lauren asked.

"Yes. I'll be flying out the second week of December and returning the first week of January."

"I think that will be good for you," Lauren said. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you, too, Lauren," Mika replied. "We should video chat. It isn't easy to find a time though, since I'll be seventeen hours ahead. Noon for me to your evening would be the best option. It's the only time I can ever talk to my parents."

"Video chat would take some of the sting out of it," Lauren agreed. "Oh, that means you won't be here when Mandy moves in." Mandy was moving in on the first of the year, but Mika had told her she could move furniture over the Christmas holidays if she wanted. Lauren planned to help her. It was disappointing that she wouldn't be able to cross the yard to see Mika.

"Yes, I need to arrange to get a key to her," Mika said.

"I can take it for her, if you like. Do you want me to feed Captain Janeway? And change her litter box, of course."

"Oh, that would be wonderful. I was planning to board her, but she would hate that. Are you sure you don't mind? You realize she isn't going to say thank you."

Lauren laughed. "Maybe you can video chat to her, too, so that she can ignore you in realtime."

Mika's brush strokes continued, smooth and intimate, but for a moment a finger caressed the line of her jaw affectionately before drawing back.

"Wait here," Mika said. Lauren turned to see her leave the room, then return a minute later with a dangerous looking steel pin, about eight inches long. The end of the pin was decorated with red and gold flowers, and a few short strings of beads in the same color.

Mika resumed her place behind Lauren. A moment later, she was gathering up her hair into a tail. Lauren couldn't see exactly what she was doing, but she felt the tail tighten and twist a few times, along with a sideways pressure which was probably the pin being pushed into the twist. A little adjustment, and Mika released her. "There's a mirror in the bathroom. Take a look," she said.

The knot was comfortable. A few inches of hair extended below it, against her left shoulder. When she saw herself in the mirror, she marveled at the effect. Her hair was in a beautiful tight knot, centered, but with the decorations on the pin on the left side, and a tail on the left. The beads enhanced the decorative effect, swaying as she moved her head.

After she'd admired herself for a couple of minutes, she picked up her phone and returned to the room, though she didn't violate the electronics ban by entering.

"This is beautiful," she said. "I want you to take a picture of it."

Mika took a look at the cellphone in her hand. "I can do better than that, pet," she said. She led the way to the room between her relaxation room and the bedroom, which held photography equipment, with a minimum of furniture. She selected a string hanging before one wall, pulling down a neutral backdrop, turned on a couple of the lights, and executed a quick photoshoot, posing Lauren between shots.

There was a computer in one corner of the room. Mika uploaded the photos, and after a quick visual check, emailed them to Lauren. "If there are any you want editing or enhancing, let me know," she said. "You can take the pin, if you want to keep the style for now. Bring it back next time."

Always happy to know that there would be a next time, Lauren agreed.

When she left, Mika brought her blouse on a hanger. The stain was completely gone. She added it to her suit in the garment bag, then gave Mika an affectionate goodbye kiss, but didn't attempt to turn it into a makeout session.

~~~~~

Lauren: "Can you show me how to make that hair knot? I love the way it looked."

Mika: "I can. It takes a little practice, but it isn't hard with a mirror."

Lauren: "I have news, too. At the risk of boring you to sleep, relaxing yesterday gave me a fresh perspective on my problem. The good news: no one is pressuring me now. The bad news: hundreds of people are likely to be laid off ????."

Mika: "Do you want to come over to talk about it? Curry&noodles."

Lauren: "You had me at come over."

This time, Lauren did stop by her home to change, showing up at Mika's in tee shirt and jeans. The curry had small chunks of fried chicken in thick sauce over noodles. Mika ate hers with chopsticks, of course, while Lauren stuck to silverware.

"This is good," Lauren said. "Was it hard to make?"

Mika laughed. "I chopped a few vegetables, but the curry paste comes from a box, the noodles were frozen and take two minutes in boiling water, and the karaage chicken is from Trader Joe's, so I'd say not.

"I feel cheated," Lauren grumbled.

"Tell me the good news," Mika instructed.

"Oh, right," Lauren began. "So like I said, I went home feeling very relaxed. This morning I felt that I was looking at the audit reports with fresh eyes. I found an unusual pattern in the purchase of high-dollar capital equipment. The kind of purchase you'd only make once or twice. Turns out they cooked the books to hide a loan repayment. So they already have a substantial loan they're about to default on, made to a different company entity, so it didn't show in a search. Suddenly management is praising me, saying they knew I was right to dig deeper, and the lawyers have gone silent, and are you asleep yet?"

Mika laughed. "No, it's interesting, and it sounds like you've saved the bank from embarrassment and a huge loss."

"Yeah, well, I feel so relieved I'll be able to coast on the lack of stress for days, at least. Though I'm sad that the company's going to crash and burn."

After dinner, Lauren gave the hairpin back to Mika, who took it to her bedroom, returning with a hand mirror and a pair of wooden pins with what appeared to be jade gems instead of the ornate flowers and beads. "You can keep these. They're more suitable for everyday wear."

Lauren objected to Mika's generosity, but she insisted, then took Lauren to the relaxing room. Using the hand mirror, she showed her how to gather her hair, then twist it around the pin. She also showed her how to form the knot without leaving a tail, and how to twist the tail around the second pin for a style with two sticks.

"I've seen knots made with chopsticks before," said Lauren, "but I don't think I've seen one as elegant as this."

"This is the version I like," Mika said.

"Do you wear your own hair like that?" Lauren asked.

"I haven't in a long time," Mika said.

"I'd like to see," Lauren said. Only when the words were out of her mouth did she consider that "a long time" might be five years, but she couldn't keep assuming that Mika had a problem before she admitted to one.

After hesitating only slightly, Mika nodded. She left the room, returning with two silver pins.

"The last time I did this, my hair was like yours," she said. "Red, I mean, though more ginger, and much longer." She pulled her hair into a single tail. "It was hard to maintain in the pandemic. I cut it short myself, and dyed it black, so that it could grow back in its natural color." She'd twisted the length of her hair, then pushed a pin in and twisted it tight. "It used to be long enough for a second twist, but I can still add the pin for decoration," she said, as she pushed the second pin beside the first. The heads of both pins dangled small white and blue flowers.

"That's beautiful," Lauren said. "It suits you."

Mika smiled. "Maybe I'll start dying my hair again, now that avoiding hairdressers is not an issue. You can help me choose a color."

"If you like," said Lauren, "but you're the artist."

~~~~~

Over the next few weeks, Lauren didn't see Mika as often as she'd have liked. She was wrapping up the year's business in readiness for three weeks' absence, and preparing for the trip itself. She did invite Mika for movie night at her house, which turned into a long-lasting makeout session that left them breathless and reluctant to part. After Mika left, Lauren felt equal parts elated and frustrated.

Mika accepted her offer to drive her to the airport for her trip, enduring her repeated questions about having her travel documents. She carried two passports, Japanese and British - well, E. U. until it expired - which wasn't technically allowed on the Japanese side, but was mostly overlooked, she said. And she had her green card to return. E-ticket and printed copy. Fully charged phone. Her phone plan included Japanese carriers, and her tablet would work on her parents' wifi, so they would be able to video chat.

"Yes, Mum," said Mika after the second time Lauren asked. "I have a checklist, Mum."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," Lauren said. "I've never traveled internationally and I'm nervous on your behalf. Do you have cash?"

Mika just laughed.

The air was decidedly cold when they exited Lauren's Lexus. Mika stacked her suitcase and travel bag, which held one of her cameras. She had also brought a plastic grocery bag. Lauren had assumed it contained reading material or a neck rest or some travel accessory, and was surprised when she handed it to her. She looked inside to find a package wrapped in Christmas paper.

"Don't open this until we can do a video chat," she said.

"Umm, okay," said Lauren. "Thank you! But I don't have anything for you."

"That's fine," Mika said, with a smile. She was wearing glasses, for the first time that Lauren had seen. She must not want to deal with contacts on what would be about twelve hours of flight time and three airports to navigate.

Lauren stayed with her as long as she could. At the security line they hugged, then exchanged a tender kiss. "I'm going to miss you," she whispered. "Be safe."

"I'll miss you too," Mika replied, then turned to scowl at the line before joining it.

~~~~~

Mika: "Arrived safely. All unpacked. Time for the ritual interrogation."

Lauren: "Will it be bad?"

Mika: "No, it's just a habit for us. I've been regularly separated from them since I started boarding school, so there's always an intense catching up session."

Lauren: "When you've been thoroughly interrogated send me photos."

The photos arrived a couple of hours later, showing the interior of a small but comfortable house. The exterior of the same house, separated from the street by a narrow sidewalk and a vivid green hedge, under a cloudy sky. Finally there was a photo of Mika between her parents. She must have taken the photo on a timer. Mika looked very much like her mother, though her eyes may be more like her father's.

The first video chat took place the next day. Mika had travelled to the city, and gave her a brief video tour of car-free streets lined with shops, the colors of the unreadable signs striking. She switched between the camera showing her face and the one showing the street scene. She wore a face mask, as did about a quarter of the pedestrians. Some were glued to phones, some carried shopping bags. A number wore large headsets. All wore heavy coats. One young guy was eating fast food with chopsticks as he walked.

A couple of days later, Mika called her from the house. They talked about Janeway, who clearly wasn't happy being left alone, but who was tolerating Lauren's presence, how chilly the weather was in both places, and how Mika was finding her trip. After a pause in the conversation, Mika said, "There's something I need to ask you, Lauren."

Instantly nervous, Lauren asked, "What's that?"

"Mum asked me if you're my girlfriend. I didn't know how to answer her. Are you?"

Lauren smiled. "I'd like to be," she said. "I didn't know if you'd be comfortable putting a label on our relationship, so I haven't tried for one."

Mika's lips made a popping sound as she exhaled. "I want us to be girlfriends," she said. "But now I'm not sure if I should tell her because she'll want me to put her on the call. Would you mind?"

"Of course not, honey," Lauren said.

"I'll set it up for the weekend. I'll give you plenty of warning."

"Okay, Mika," Lauren said. "Tell her I'll look forward to it."

~~~~~

The call happened on Saturday - well, on Sunday in the early morning in Mika's timezone, which was Saturday afternoon for Lauren. Mika's mother looked very much like her, though she sounded very different, with a much stronger accent. Between her "Nice to meet you, pet," and "I like you, I think Mimi found a sharp one, pet," there was a quite thorough interrogation.

Lauren recalled that one time Mika had called her "pet." It had seemed strange at the time, but she must have been influenced by her mother and her upbringing in the same area.

Mika's mother had worked as an accountant before her marriage, until her husband's work had recalled him to Japan, when she'd quit to be able to travel between the UK during Mika's vacations and Japan when Mika was away at school. So she was able to understand much about Lauren's job.

Mika's father showed his face on the call for a few minutes, demanding that she visit with Mika on her next trip, whenever that was. He seemed more reserved, though both parents were very polite.

When she and Mika were alone on the call, she breathed a sigh of relief. "You'll need to give me lessons in etiquette before I speak to them again," she said.

"They liked you," Mika asserted. "Dad reconciled with my being gay before my wedding. They loved Nicole so much that I was afraid they'd have trouble accepting you, but they seem to have determined that you're a suitable girlfriend. I don't need their permission, but I do respect them and value their opinion."

"I'm glad. I like them. What is your mother's accent?"

"Newcastle," Mika said. "I used to sound like that before boarding school. I got bullied for it. I worked hard to change it. It seemed necessary at the time, but I'm not sure the way I speak now is an improvement. Being Japanese and gay I was never going to fit in."

"I like the way you sound," Lauren said. "I'm really missing you."

"I know, me too," said Mika. "I could totally kiss your face off right now. We're going to have to snog for three days straight when I get back to make up for lost time."

"Only three?" asked Lauren.

"Alright, four, but then we'll need to take a pizza break."

~~~~~

Mika conceded that Lauren could open her Christmas gift on Christmas Eve, largely because if she waited until Christmas Day, it would be the day after Christmas for Mika. So she called in the late afternoon, a little before eleven at night Lauren's time.

Lauren had her tablet set up on the small dining table in her house, so that she could sit close enough to the display to see all of the details of her beautiful girlfriend's face. "Are your parents around today?" she asked.

"No, it's a work day. Christmas isn't really a holiday. New Year will be. There are illuminations, and there will be fireworks. It will be, umm, seven a. m. your time when New Year's Eve ends, but I'll get some video for you."

"I'd like that," said Lauren. "The difference in times feels strange. It's been dark for hours here, and you're sitting there with sunlight streaming into your room. It makes the day feel warm. When you're ringing in the new year, it will be early morning. Oh, Mandy and I will be finishing up getting her moved in on New Year's Eve."

"You're going to be spending New Year with your ex! In her home! There'd better not be any bloody New Year's Eve snogging!"

"I'm totally not," Lauren objected. "I'm going downtown with my friends from work. There's a rock band ushering in the new year. There will be dancing. There may even be New Year's kisses, but there will be no snogging, as you define the difference. I'm saving that for you. Now, are you going to let me open my gift? Or are you just trying to build anticipation?"

Mika laughed. "It would be a huge let down if I were," she said. "Go on, then. Merry Christmas."

Lauren had set the wrapped package on the table beside her tablet. She picked it up. It was limp. She was fairly sure it contained an article of clothing. Surely Mika hadn't bought her lingerie? She didn't think they'd been at that stage of their relationship when she'd left.

"Alright, I'm opening it now," she said, holding the package up to the tablet's camera before ripping the paper.

Inside the paper was another layer of tissue paper. Within that was a dark green tee shirt. The design on the front was a set of large birds. They had the look of water birds, all with large feet and long bills. One's feet were bright red, another's sky blue. At the top was the word "boobies," in lowercase, large enough to read from a distance.

"Oh, my God," said Lauren, then burst out laughing.

"I would have liked it to say 'large American boobies' as a companion to mine, but most of them aren't American. They are large though. The birds, I mean." Mika's grin was wicked.

"It's perfect," said Lauren, unzipping the front of the hoodie she was wearing.

"Uh, what are you doing?" came Mika's voice from the tablet, as she pulled the hoodie over her arms, to stand before the tablet in her lacy rose bra and jeans.

"Trying it on, of course," said Lauren, grinning at the color that had risen to her girlfriend's cheeks. She worked her arms into the tee shirt, taking her time before pulling it down over her bra, then tugging it into place. "It's a perfect fit."

Mika's cheeks were still pink. "Uh, yeah, it looks good on you," she said.

Lauren did a twirl before the camera. "I won't wear it until you return," she said. "My boobies deserve their small British tits." She lifted the hem to remove the tee shirt, chuckling when she heard a strangled sound from the speaker. She folded the tee shirt before turning back to the tablet, grinning as she slipped her arms into the sleeves of her hoodie.

On the tablet display, Mika took a deep breath. "I wish you were here," she said.

"Oh, you do? For snogging?" asked Lauren.

"I want to touch you," Mika breathed. "I really, really want to touch you."

~~~~~

Mandy's furniture wasn't due to arrive until the 28th. She had boxes of essentials with her, and she was living out of two suitcases. On Christmas day, Lauren took her to look around the apartment, giving her the key. She was excited. Lauren left her moving boxes from her car while she walked across the yard to feed Janeway. The cat wasn't exactly thrilled to see her, but she'd realized that Lauren was the current food source, and wound herself around her legs until said food was in her bowl, then ignored her.

Lauren found it strange that the cat clearly missed Mika, but wasn't pining in the way that Mika had said she did after losing Nicole. She wondered if maybe the cat had been responding to her own sadness as much as missing her person.

She texted Mika to let her know that the cat was fed, that Mandy had the key, and that she was cooking for her, since she was stranded in a hotel. She invited Mika to call to verify that there was no hanky panky going on, and sent her a selfie of herself and Mandy outside the apartment.

On the following day, she was back at work. Though the office staffing was light, and most of her colleagues were dressed down, she was not. She had a scheduled chat with Mika in the evening, and wanted to surprise her.

"Oh, wow, you were working today?" Mika said when she answered the call. "You're still all dressed up."

"I wanted to save my PTO," Lauren replied. "Are you alone? Your parents aren't behind you?"

Mika's image shook its head. "Why? Should I get them? New Year vacation started today, so they're here."

"No, it's just that I haven't had chance to change yet. I didn't want to shock them."

Saying that, she unzipped her pencil skirt.

"Oh," exclaimed Mika. Her eyes were wide. "But you don't mind shocking me?"

"Are you shocked?" Lauren asked, taking her time unfastening the skirt, before lowering it slowly and stepping out of it, revealing her thigh-high stockings and garter belt. She was fairly sure she heard Mika gulp. She unfastened the lowest buttons of her blouse, so that her girlfriend had a clear view of her actions.

"Now I'm shocked," said Mika. "Is that what you usually wear to work?"

"Not often," Lauren admitted. "Pantyhose are easier, but I like the feel..." She ran her hands down her thighs. Mika blinked, a muffled groan escaping.

Lauren unclipped her stockings, sliding them down her thighs unhurriedly, one at a time. Then she unfastened the garter belt, letting it drop to the floor.

Mika's eyes were large, but her smile showed how much she appreciated the view.

Working from the bottom to the top, Lauren began to unbutton her blouse. When she reached her chest, she paused to unfasten her ribbon tie, draping it over her neck as she finished opening the blouse. Siding it down her arms, she folded it before setting it beside the tablet. Then she drew the ribbon tie off and set it on the shirt, leaving her in black panties and her black balconette bra.

She bent down toward the tablet, ensuring that the camera got a good view of the cleavage. "Are you okay, Mika? You seem to have turned red. Do your parents keep the house too hot?"

"Right now, yes," her girlfriend said, with a chuckle. "Ten minutes ago, I'd have said not."

"Maybe you should ask them to turn the heat down while I finish getting changed," Lauren suggested, picking up her cream silk pajamas.

"I... don't think so," Mika said as she fastened the pajama top, then stepped into the silk pajama shorts. She reached behind her to unclasp her bra, then detached the straps so that she could draw it out of her top.

"All done," Lauren announced.

"You are so mean," Mika said, her voice sounding a little gruff.

"Too mean to give me a goodnight kiss?" teased Lauren.

"I wish I could," Mika admitted. "I'm going to be daydreaming about this little game of yours."

Lauren smiled. "When you come back, we'll play it in person. I promise."

"That doesn't make my afternoon any easier, you know..."

~~~~~

It rained pretty constantly on the day that the furniture was delivered. The distance from the moving van to the door was short, fortunately, and Lauren grabbed all the newspaper she could find at home and took her welcome mat, doormat and a couple of rugs to protect the floors. The furniture had been well handled and had arrived in good condition.

After the delivery men had left, she helped Mandy make up the beds, so that her hotel stay could finally end, and on the thirty-first, she helped her unpack the rest of the boxes, stacking dishware and books. Temperatures didn't vary much above or below freezing for the whole day.

In the evening Lauren met her friends at the New Year's Eve party at the hotel. The ballroom where the party was held was huge, and crowded. Rachel, one of the executive assistants, tried to share a pill with her. Lauren had always suspected that Rachel, who was a lithe blonde who hadn't yet passed twenty-five, had a crush on her.

Whatever the drug was - E, probably - seemed to amplify Rachel's crush. Either that, or she just wanted attention from the only other lesbian in the office. Lauren didn't encourage her, but she also didn't reject her. Outside of their friend group it might be dangerous to be on E, so she danced with her, and when Rachel leaned back against her when they were yelling for the band, she just pushed her back into an upright stance and backed away.

The band was better than Lauren had expected, in spite of screaming vocals. The soaring guitar almost carried the songs by itself. Rachel was clearly getting into the sound.

Lauren tried to avoid Rachel when the countdown to midnight ended. She exchanged chaste kisses with her friends, but Rachel managed to catch her, and attempted to respond to the touch of her lips by shoving her tongue between them. Lauren backed away and shook her head.

"Aww, c'mon, let's start the New Year right," said Rachel, running her fingers down Lauren's arm.

"I am starting it off right," Lauren retorted. "That's the point."

Rachel eased herself a little closer, a breast pressing against Lauren's arm. She lowered her voice in an attempt to sound seductive. "You don't know how horny I am right now," she murmured.

"Oh, I think I do, Rachel," Lauren said, "and I think it would be a good idea if I found someone to help me get you home.

She recruited Dierdra, one of her closest work friends, to help chaperone Rachel into an Uber and ensure she made it to her door. After dropping Dierdra, she arrived home around one thirty, falling asleep almost before her head touched the pillow.

~~~~~

Mika: "How was your new year?"

The message had arrived overnight, and was several hours old when Lauren saw it.

Lauren: "Good. Band was amazing, probably not your cup of tea though and my virtue is intact."

Of course by the time Lauren replied, it would be well after midnight for Mika, so the next message didn't arrive until mid-afternoon.

Mika: "Should I be worried that you felt the need to mention this?"

Lauren: "No but I have a co-worker story to share next call. Missed you."

Mika: "Would your virtue be intact if I'd been there?"

Lauren: "I hope not."

~~~~~

Lauren had booked a half day PTO when Mika was due to return. When she awoke, her girlfriend would be thirty-five thousand feet above the Pacific. She checked her phone for updates. Sure enough, she had waiting texts. They weren't updates to arrival times, though.

Mika: "Flight left on time. Unless there are customs delays I'll be on the flight arriving just after 1:30."

Mika: "Looking forward to seeing you."

Lauren felt that their relationship had become much less tentative during Mika's trip. Teasing her had felt comfortable, and Mika seemed to be less reluctant to show affection. She wondered if that would be able to continue after her girlfriend's return. Perhaps they'd turned a corner. Though she knew that even if that was true, there was plenty of work ahead of them.

Of course, she'd worn stockings to work, to capitalize on Mika's willingness to be teased. She sent Mika a selfie to show her working clothes. A little later, sitting at her desk, she surreptitiously hiked up her skirt and snapped a photo of her stocking top, sending that in a text message.

Mika: "You know, it's not a good idea to look flustered at the customs counter."

Lauren: "Why would you look flustered?"

Mika: "I don't know why I like you, I really don't"

Lauren was finishing her Starbucks when Mika entered the baggage claim area. She'd debated getting a coffee for Mika, but she probably couldn't carry a paper cup with her suitcases. And after all this time she didn't know if Mika liked coffee. She certainly preferred tea, and though the menu included tea she'd never considered what kind Mika would want.

She left her coat on the chair, tossing her paper cup into the trash before taking her girlfriend into her arms. Their kiss was tender but brief, Mika seeming to want the contact of a close hug as much as Lauren did.

Eventually they separated, Mika stepping back to cast her eyes over Lauren's suit, a smirk on her face, before leaning close to whisper, "I really want to peek under that skirt to see if you really are wearing what you claim."

"I sent you a photo!" Lauren stated.

"Mmm, you could have taken that at any time," Mika objected. Then her expression sobered. "Uh, could you take me to your place, not mine? Or not immediately to mine? I want to talk before going home."

That should sound ominous, but it didn't. Lauren felt that they'd built enough of a bond that if there was a problem she'd be able to sense it. She didn't need to consider the state of the house; she kept it tidy, so she just nodded, and wrapped her arm around Mika's back as they waited for the cases.

During the drive to her house, Lauren frequently sensed Mika's eyes on her. If she glanced over, Mika's eyes immediately flicked away, her cheeks turning red.

After the third such glance, she said, "I think you missed me as much as I missed you, didn't you?"

Mika nodded, and though she didn't turn toward Lauren, her lips formed a soft smile.

After Lauren had eased the Lexus into the garage, Mika had asked her to open the trunk so that she could bring her bag and one of her cases into the house.

Once inside, Lauren said, "I don't have tea. I can brew coffee or open a bottle of wine. It's a little early, but..." she frowned. "You know, I have no idea if it's early or not for you."

"It's around breakfast time by my internal clock," said Mika, "but I'm sure I can drink wine for breakfast once without it becoming a habit. Maybe you'll let me take a nap later."

"Of course," replied Lauren. She had a German white in the fridge which wouldn't be too heavy. She hung Mika's coat and her own, then opened the wine while her girlfriend waited for her on the couch. A minute later, she was presenting the wine to Mika, then sitting beside her.

"I think my house is holding me back," said Mika. "The memories I have there are making it hard for me to become as close to you as I want to. At my parents' place, I felt more free to be with you. With the unfortunate issue that we were five thousand miles apart."

"But I love your house, Mika," said Lauren.

"As do I," Mika stated. "I will be keeping it, and will be living there, but perhaps for a time our snogging sessions could be here? And... anything else we choose to do together." She gave Lauren a shy smile. "I'd really like to share my bath with you, but maybe... in a couple of weeks?"

"That seems like a wise idea," Lauren replied. "When you say, 'anything else we choose to do...'"

Mika grinned wickedly. "That depends on how I feel after you let me watch you change out of your skirt and blouse," she said. "I want the full effect of what you showed me in our chat.

"I see," said Lauren. "You know, you're asking for a great sacrifice on my part."

"Oh, I know," said Mika, her tone infused with irony. Then she reached for Lauren's wrist, gripping it lightly while her eyes held Lauren's intently. "I'm ready, Lauren. I'm so ready for you I'm hurting."

A charge of arousal lanced into Lauren. Her clit tingled and her voice caught. "You want me to tease you just like I did in the video chat?" she asked, her voice husky. When Mika nodded, she said, "Come with me," leading her into the bedroom, both bringing their wine glasses.

Lauren's bedroom was decorated in soft peach tones, with light peach paint, a warm cream-colored comforter, and pillowcases in the same cream and peach. An old rocking chair, more comfortable than it appeared, faced into the room beside the little-used desk. Lauren guided her girlfriend to the chair, then placed her silk pajamas on the bed.

Before beginning to remove her skirt, she hung her jacket in her closet, then connected her phone to the bluetooth speakers on her nightstand. It wasn't the greatest stereo system, especially from this corner of the bedroom, but the quality was good. Then she selected Debussy on her mp3 player and pressed play. Mika's eyebrows rose in appreciation as she recognized the piece.

Standing before Mika, she unzipped her skirt, then slid it over her hips and down, before stepping out of it, revealing the stockings and garter belt. She took care to straighten the skirt before laying it on the bed. Then, changing the order from the last time she'd teased Mika with her business suit, she took off her ribbon tie, fastening it in a bow around her girlfriend's left wrist. Mika's eyes were wide as she watched Lauren's fingers.

She unfastened her blouse from bottom to top, again folding it meticulously before placing it on the bed. Her bra was black, as before, but this time it was lacy, matching her panties.

Slipping a finger into each side of her left stocking, she drew it downard, then over her foot. This she tossed onto the bed, before stepping close to Mika.

"You can do the other one," she murmured.

She saw Mika's chest rise and fall more quickly as she inserted her fingers between Lauren's right stocking and her thigh, pulling it down to her foot, at which point Lauren backed away and finished removing it, dropping it onto the bed. She moved closer to Mika, taking her fingers and moving them to her garter belt to pull it down. Her girlfriend made a frustrated groan as she drew the garment over her hips and down her thighs.

This bra didn't have detachable straps, so she unhooked one shoulder, working her arm through it without unfastening the rear clasp, then sliding her other arm out the same way. She slipped into her pajamas, then unhooked her bra, dropping it to the bed before standing before her girlfriend, whose cheeks were now flushed.

Mika's eyes followed her as she hung her skirt with her jacket. Then she knelt before Mika, taking her fingers in her own and moving them to her pajama jacket, placing them on her nipples. "You said you wanted to touch," Lauren noted.

Her girlfriend's voice rasped in a deep register as she said, "I am so turned on right now."

Lauren's fingers stroked her face. "Then come to bed with me," she whispered, leaning forward and pressing her lips to Mika's, her fingers caressing her girlfriend's jaw.

"Yes," Mika croaked.

Slowly, Lauren raised herself to her feet. Mika's fingers fell from her breasts to unfasten her jeans as she stood. The jeans fell to the floor, followed by Mika's plain black tee shirt, as Lauren turned back the duvet and slipped between the sheets.

Moments later, Mika had also discarded her bra and was lying against her. As her lips met Lauren's, her fingers began to work on the buttons of her pajamas top.

The kiss was gentle. Exploratory, at least at first. It had been almost a month, other than airport kisses. Even a slow, tender kiss built Lauren's arousal, especially when her girlfriend's fingers parted her shirt and cupped her breast, fingers and thumb caressing.

Lauren drew her own fingers down her slender partner's back, hooking them into her panties, then drawing them down. Mika eagerly wriggled out of them, freeing Lauren to stroke her sex, finding her moist. Mika groaned into the kiss as her fingers brushed her clit.

Her girlfriend's breathing was heavy, the kiss becoming steadily deeper. When Lauren pushed a finger into her, Mika's tongue pressed against hers, and Lauren's breath caught. Mika's hips began to move, grinding herself into Lauren's hand.

Lauren set her free hand on Mika's waist. Using it and the hand curled into her sex, she lifted her partner, breaking the kiss, then moving her body higher, so that she could fasten her lips to Mika's nipple. Her lover gasped, thrusting her sex against Lauren's hold. Lauren felt wetness against the base of her thumb. As she rubbed her hand against it, her finger curled inside her lover, the walls around her finger twitched, then clenched hard. Mika cried out, her body quivering over Lauren.

The sounds of Mika's pleasure thrilled Lauren. The muscles around her finger relaxed, then gripped again as she continued to moan.

Gradually, Mika's body relaxed. Lauren still felt her passage clenching her finger with aftershocks until she withdrew it. Of course they'd been here once before, and Lauren worried that her lover's rapture would again turn to tears, but it didn't happen. Mika moved lower, her eyes full of joy as their lips met.

After a minute or two of languid kissing, Mika's lips moved to Lauren's neck. "I've been visualizing this for the past three weeks," she said, "but it's even better in person than I hoped."

"Not gonna lie," said Lauren, "but I've been imagining the same."

Mika slid down Lauren's body. She tugged Lauren's pajama top to the side, until Lauren had worked her arm out. After doing the same with her other arm, she kissed all around Lauren's breast, making her squirm as her belly tingled. Then she drew back, her eyes following where she'd been kissing. "You kept teasing me by stripping to your bra, or your PJs. So I've definitely been picturing these."

She lowered herself to take Lauren's nipple into her mouth and began to suckle. The feelings that spiked in Lauren's belly made her groan. She ran her fingers through Mika's hair as her teeth and tongue drew against the hard tip.

When Mika switched to her right breast, her hands roamed downward, easing off Lauren's pajama shorts and panties. With Lauren's enthusiastic cooperation, they were soon tossed over the side of the bed. Mika's lips also travelled downward. Lauren parted her legs further as her lover's tongue found her clit, beginning to caress it with damp strokes.

"I visualized doing this, too." Mika's voice tickled Lauren's clit, charging her arousal. Lauren could see her beneath the duvet, her head rocking slowly as her tongue stoked the fires of Lauren's need.

Lauren had always felt that she needed to be touched inside as well as out, but her lover was already pushing her to her limit with a consistent slow motion. She tried to rein in her desire, but her girlfriend was just too damned exciting, and as much as she worked to hide her reaction, the tensing of her thighs probably gave her away. The stroking of Mika's tongue on her firm clit became more insistent, and suddenly it was all Lauren could do not to slam her sex into the other woman's face as her arousal drew taut, then released, her climax fierce.

She moaned at the sudden intensity of the feeling of Mika's tongue still licking her sensitive clit as delicious pulses of pleasure flowed into her.

When Mika emerged from beneath the duvet to lie against her chest, she was flushed, her face seeming to radiate warmth.

"Did you get a little overheated?" Lauren asked.

"Worth it," replied Mika, beaming, lowering her face to kiss Lauren's neck.

They lay together for several minutes, Mika's teeth and tongue exploring the base of Lauren's neck, as her fingers trailed through Mika's hair.

"I saw myself needing to do something that might not be a great idea," she said. Her body had no tension as it nestled into Lauren's, but her voice was uncertain. "But I knew I would have to do it as soon as I could be sure I wasn't going to panic. I knew it as soon as I realized how much I was missing you. I need this relationship to work, Lauren." She was silent for a few moments. "I need to tell you that I think I'm falling in love with you."

Lauren's heart soared. "Oh, honey," she said, taking Mika's face in her hands and giving her a passionate kiss, tasting herself on her lover's tongue. "I'm already there," she said, when she released her. "I didn't want to tell you until I was sure you were ready to hear it, and I don't want my feelings to put any pressure on you, but I fall a little more in love with you every time we're together, even if being together is just seeing your lovely face on my tablet."

Mika was silent, then her body shook. Lauren felt damp on her neck. "Oh no, Mika, what is it, honey?"

She heard a muffled, watery laugh. "Happy tears," she heard her lover's voice say. "I feel so lucky to have you."

~~~~~

"I should probably go," Mika said.

They'd made love again. Mika had fitted her thigh between Lauren's when her eyes had dried. Lauren had held her close for comfort. She wasn't sure which of them had first started to move, but by the time their lips met, they were both moaning. Lauren's climax had hit first, but she succeeded in coaxing Mika's body into joining her in passion. Spent, they'd snuggled together until now.

"Janeway will be missing you," Lauren agreed.

"Janeway probably doesn't care. as long as one of us feeds her," Mika said, "but I need to unpack, then soak in the tub. I'm going to sleep as much as I can today, then tomorrow I'll try to combat jet lag and stay awake during daylight."

"Not hard to do with the days starting late and ending early," Lauren said, with a laugh.

"So it will be easy," her lover said, sliding out of bed. Lauren watched her bending down to hunt for clothes. She handed Lauren her pajama pants and underwear, and Lauren put them on, fastening her top as Mika dressed. Then she followed Mika into the living room, where her bags still waited.

"You need to tell me what kind of tea you like so I can get some in here," Lauren said. "I realized this morning, I know nothing about tea."

"I can send you links to what I like at Amazon," Mika said, opening the latches on her suitcase, "or we can make a trip to a local tea shop."

"I like that plan," Lauren said.

"Most Brits like black tea with milk, but I grew up with green at home." Mika sighed. "One reason among several for the girls at school to hate me. I just don't like milk in tea, and black tea is too bitter without it." She drew out one of a pair of wide boxes from her suitcase, then stood, holding the box out in two hands. "This is your real Christmas present."

"Oh, Mika, you shouldn't have!" Lauren exclaimed. "I didn't get you anything!"

Mika grinned. "Consider it a souvenir, if you like. I promise you, I'll enjoy the gift as much as you do."

"Oh yeah?" Lauren grinned, now having a pretty good idea of what was in the box, which was labelled only with a few large Japanese characters.

She was wrong. Mostly wrong. She opened the box, expecting to find lingerie. Instead, the box contained a royal blue silk robe, decorated with gold patterns and white birds. She took it reverently out of the box. "Mika, this is beautiful."

Her girlfriend's cheeks had colored. "I'd thought about getting you something more traditional, but where would you have the chance to wear kimono or even yukata? Come with me on my next trip, as Dad said, and maybe we will. This is a kimono robe. You can wear it for lounging around the house, or whenever you like. Or, you know, if we're together..."

Lauren pointed to the box still in the suitcase. "You got one to match?"

"Not to match," Mika said. "It's red. But to wear with you, yes." Her blush had deepend a little further.

Indicating one of the birds in the design, Lauren asked, "Please tell me these are not boobies?"

Mika chortled. "They're cranes. Very traditional. Though there will be boobies inside it, at least in your case."

"Oh, honey, your boobs are lovely," Lauren said. "Please don't let me hear you disparaging the woman I love."

Mika rolled her eyes. When Lauren set the box down and held out her arms to her, she stepped into her embrace.

"Thank you," Lauren whispered, then gave Mika a tender kiss.

She helped Mika with her suitcases when they arrived at her house, but didn't enter. "Call me," she said, "and give my love to the Captain."

"Admiral, please," retorted Mika.

~~~~~

Lauren: "Want to take me to the tea store on Saturday?"

Mika: "I have a wedding. And a client meeting on Sunday. We could squeeze in a visit around 5pm Sunday if you don't mind it being short."

Lauren: "It's a date. And a wedding in January?"

Mika: "At a ski resort. White snow, white wedding. It's going to be a tiring weekend. Want to come back here and share my tub?"

Lauren: "Hell, yes! I mean, oh, what a nice idea, O girlfriend of mine."

Mika: "???? Good to know we're on the same page. Bring your robe."

~~~~~

Lauren decided that they'd need to return for a longer visit to the tea store if she decided to buy a teapot. She didn't think her coffee maker would work well for loose leaf tea, so she only bought tea bags, while Mika picked up a couple of loose leaf packages. After their visit, they stopped at an Indian restaurant on the way back to Mika's.

As soon as they arrived at the house, Mika ran the bath, then began brewing tea. When It was ready, she had already started the whirlpool and added a foaming oil which created a layer of bubbles on the surface and left a delicious jasmine scent in the bathroom. The water level was fairly low, as, she said, she wasn't sure how much it would rise with both of them in the bath.

Armed with tea, they were about to find out.

"Do you need a shower cap?" Mika asked. She'd put her hair up in a high knot.

"I'll be fine," Lauren said, knotting her own hair into a bun. "I'm not planning to swim."

Lauren felt a little self-conscious stripping before Mika. This wasn't teasing, and it wasn't undressing during foreplay, it was simply taking her clothes off before a girl with whom she was in a fairly new relationship. So she undressed only to her bra and panties, then waited for Mika to be the first to disrobe completely. But it seemed that Mika had the same idea, standing before her in her floral bralette and cute floral panties, her cheeks red.

She chuckled. "Panties on three?" she suggested. Mika looked puzzled for a moment, then grinned at her. "One, two, three." Both dropped their panties to the floor. Another "One, two, three," and Mika had lifted her bralette over her head, while Lauren was still unfastening her clasp.

Mika laughed at her struggle, and moved to help, but the clasp came free, and Mika's eyes widened. Then she turned and climbed into the bath, Lauren following suit a moment later to sit across from her. With their knees raised, they both fitted comfortably into the bath. The level rose, but the bath was still far from full, so Mika ran more water, until Lauren's breasts were barely submerged. She noticed that Mika seemed fascinated by the sight. Her eyes tracked the ripples that they made every time she moved.

She found the view of Mika as sexy as hell. Her small, high breasts didn't really float or cause ripples, but her nipples peeked out above the water every time she moved.

Legs intertwined, they relaxed in the warmth. After what must have been about half an hour, Mika added a little more foaming oil to get the bubbles a little higher. This had the side effect of leaving two small gaps in the bubbles where the ripples from Lauren's breasts kept bubbles from forming. Mika clearly found the view amusing.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Lauren asked.

"You know I am," said Mika. "But I think they're missing something."

Lauren knew there was mischief afoot, but she didn't know what form it would take. "What's that?" she asked.

Her girlfriend's legs moved from hers as Mika rose onto her knees, moving forward. "Me, between them," she said, curling her body further over Lauren's, her lips moving to hers. Mika's breasts pointed down from her narrow chest, giving the lie to her frequent protestations that they were too small to notice. Lauren didn't have long enough to admire them before Mika's hand found the small of her back, lifting her body to meet Mika's.

She floated upward as Mika's lips met hers, supported by her elbows and Mika's hands on her back. Her breasts broke the surface as they began to kiss, which was probably her girlfriend's goal.

Confirming this notion, Mika left one hand supporting Lauren's back while the other wrapped around a breast, sliding against the smooth wet skin as she caressed it. Her belly pressed against Lauren's sex, and she moved as she kissed Lauren's lips, the kiss together with the intimate closeness feeding the tingling in Lauren's belly. Lauren felt herself relax in her girlfriend's hold, her legs weightless on either side of Mika's hips.

After a time, Mika returned her hand to Lauren's back, using her hold to slide Lauren's floating body against her own. Lauren's breasts were compressed by Mika's chest, giving a wanton appearance as they rolled with the movement of her body. Her pussy continued to slide against Mika's body, building a warmth greater than that of the water surrounding her.

When Mika drew back, Lauren missed the contact of her body intensely. Mika looked down, grinning at her erect nipples emerging from the bubbles surrounding them. Then she curled forward until her mouth took in a nipple, sucking it deep, and the flare of arousal within Lauren banished any sense of loss. Relaxing in the warmth of the water that supported her felt almost like a void of feeling. Mika's tongue and teeth painted on that blank canvas, spikes of sensation shooting into her body. She felt her clit pushing outward as sparks of excitement reached it.

Then those sparks were more direct as Mika's mouth moved lower, covering her clit directly, suckling it in the water that surrounded it. The feeling was like nothing Lauren could recall, focused euphoria in a null space. She moaned softly, then not so softly as the feelings continued to build.

Mika didn't allow her to overload on the sensation. When Lauren felt her body beginning to tense, Mika moved from her clit, lifting her body enough to kiss her navel and draw her teeth over her belly, creating more lines on the canvas of her body, before closing her mouth on Lauren's other nipple, flicking her tongue against it and tugging with her teeth. Lauren groaned, losing herself to her growing need.

She wanted to encourage her lover, to tell her how incredible she was making her feel, but she wasn't sure that she could speak, and she didn't want to disturb Mika's creative magic, so she remained wordless, the small moans of passion all she could manage as Mika sucked both nipples into a firmness so sensitive they prickled.

Then her mouth was on her clit again, fusing all of Mika's work into a core of passion. She felt Mika drive her desire to a peak, and then take it yet higher, until the need within her erupted, her body thrashing and splashing as her lover's tongue continued to caress her, not letting go until her climax had finally run its course and awareness returned to her.

"Mika..." she finally managed to croak. "Oh, my God."

Her girlfriend's smile seemed both cocky and shy at the same time.

~~~~~

Mika's towels were huge, soft, and surprisingly warm. Lauren towelled off quickly, then knotted the towel around herself and insisted on helping Mika dry. Unnecessary but fun. When Mika eventually managed to avoid her groping hands, she also wrapped her towel around herself, and sat on the side of the bath, Lauren beside her.

"It's fortunate we had the floor tiled when we had the bath installed," said Mika. "It's going to take a day to dry."

"To be fair, I didn't have a lot of control at the time," Lauren said. "You made me come pretty hard, there. It's not surprising I splashed a little."

Mika smiled, her cheeks pink, though a lot of that might be the heat from taking a bath. "Will you stay the night?"

Her tone seemed casual, but Lauren sensed the nervousness behind her words. "Are you sure?" she asked. "You wanted to use my place to be close."

"I did," Mika agreed, "but I really want to be with you. The bath was fine. My bed will be."

"I didn't bring my business clothes," Lauren objected. "I'll need to leave early to dress for work. That's okay, though, if you're sure."

"I'm sure," Mika said. "I want to sit with you on the couch and drink tea. Listen to music, or watch TV. I want to do girlfriend things with you. And then I want to go to bed with you and do other girlfriend things."

"Oh, those girlfriend things," Lauren said. "It might be worth sticking around for those."

Mika rolled her eyes. She moved over to the door, then spread her towel out on the floor, allowing her to leave without walking over the wet tiles. She dressed in panties and her new robe, which was a deep red with a design of a flower cart and large white and pink flowers. Lauren did the same, standing on the towel to change. Then she stepped back into the center of the bathroom to see her reflection.

"This is the first time I've worn the robe. It looks even better than I expected," she said. The hem was just above her knee, and the fabric felt light and sensual against her skin.

With nothing but panties beneath it, Mika's robe seemed doubly attractive.

The most watchable show was a late episode of a multipart British drama and was already ten minutes in, so they decided to leave the TV off.

Instead, they drank tea on the couch. Lauren told Mika the full story of Rachel's attempt to make a pass at her on New Year's Eve, and how embarrassed Rachel had been at work afterward.

"If not for me, would you have gone home with her?" Mika asked.

Lauren thought for a few moments before shaking her head. "No, I don't think so. I don't do one night stands, and she's not someone I could build a relationship with, even if I didn't work with her. My party days were in college. Rachel is still a party girl."

"Did you date at all after the woman you lived with?" Mika asked.

Lauren shook her head again. "I had two first dates that led to nothing. She made me realize that I needed to avoid getting too close to a woman I didn't already feel a bond with. When I met you, I felt that there was a possibility of a connection that I'd never had with any girlfriend. I feel that now more than ever."

"What was it that made you think that?" Mika asked. "How do you recognize that you want to get to know someone before you get to know them?"

"I think it was when you brought me tea," Lauren said. "The setting was perfect. Outdoors in the fall. You were reserved but friendly, considerate but strong, elegant in a cutesy tee shirt, hot pink socks and jeans, and so pretty that you seemed to fit naturally with the golden leaves."

"You're just trying to make me blush now," Mika said. "Though you've clearly given the day some thought."

Lauren sipped her cooling tea, looking over the rim at Mika. "I think I'm succeeding in making you blush," she said. "But yes, I've thought about the question. In the last couple of years, how many potential relationships have I avoided because I didn't recognize the possibility of being with a woman whom I didn't yet know? But that afternoon I felt that I'd seen enough to recognize that I wanted to get to know you. Meanwhile," she winked at Mika, "turns out you just like my D-cups. Which is awesome, because if I'd had to be as sophisticated as you, I'd have gotten nowhere."

"Your complete misrepresentation of my attraction to your body only serves to demonstrate how shallow you are," Mika said, primly. "But I don't care, because you have boobs."

Lauren snorted, barely managing to set her tea down before coughing. Mika reached across and patted her on the back. When she'd cleared her throat, she said, "See, you and I are perfectly matched."

A distant look crossed her girlfriend's features. Lauren winced inwardly. That was an insensitive comment. But the look was fleeting, and Mika returned a soft smile. "We do seem to be," she said. She held her hand out to Lauren. "Shall we go to bed?"

~~~~~

In the bedroom, Mika released Lauren's hand and crossed to a dresser, taking a headscarf from one drawer. Lauren frowned, her thoughts going to its possible use in bedroom activities, both relieved and saddened when she draped the cloth over the marble bust of Nicole.

"I don't ascribe magical or spiritual powers to the sculpture," Mika said softly. "The stone isn't watching us, and I'm not betraying Nicole by having it in the room, but it feels strange to have her face sharing the room with us. I should move it to the studio, but it's too heavy to move alone."

Lauren squeezed her shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay, honey?" she asked.

When Mika turned to her, she saw that her eyes were glistening, but she nodded her head. "You're going to need to stop asking me that, love," she said. "I appreciate how sensitive you've been to my distress, but I want you to believe that if I'm hurting, I'll let you know." She reached out to loosen the belt of Lauren's robe. "And right now, it isn't distress I'm feeling."

Taking Mika's face in her hands, Lauren brought it to her own, their kiss tender as Mika unfastened the belt, but becoming more intense when she parted her robe and cupped her breasts. As her girlfriend closed her palms around her nipples, Lauren opened her red robe, sliding it over her shoulders. Mika allowed it to fall to the floor, leaving her standing in just her panties, while Lauren slipped off her robe, laying it carefully over the back of a chair, then picking up Mika's and draping it over the chair.

Taking her hand, Mika led her to the bed, stepping out of her underwear before lying on top of the covers. Lauren dropped her panties, then covered her lover's body with her own, fitting her thigh between Mika's.

They moved together, slowly. Lauren was more interested in the passion of their kiss than the friction of their bodies, and Mika's passion seemed to grow with her own. Her tongue danced with Lauren's, her teeth occasionally nipping Lauren's lower lip as their bodies slowly rocked together, Mika's hard nipples pressing into her breasts.

Moaning softly into the kiss, Mika brought her hands up to Lauren's ass, kneading her muscles, dragging her closer, clearly wanting more. It was time to give her what she needed.

Gripping Mika's hips, she held her body firmly against her own, then quickly rolled them over, her girlfriend ending up on top of her, her thighs between Lauren's. Mika's face clouded for a moment, as her mouth was disconnected from Lauren's, but her eyes widened when Lauren wrapped her legs around her and began to use her hold on her hips to grind their bodies together. Lauren felt the short, damp fuzz of Mika's pussy against her own, the pressure of her mound against her ramping up her own arousal, especially when Mika's hips began to move, amplifying her motion.

They settled into a moderate rhythm. Both women began to pant, Mika making soft "ah!" sounds with each breath. Her eyes seemed to lose their focus as the sounds she made became louder, but her hands came up to grip Lauren's breasts, thumbs absently rolling her nipples.

Picking up the pace further, Lauren thrust against her lover. Mika's body, seeming to be on autopilot, responded, matching her rhythm. Lifting her face, Lauren caught Mika's mouth with her own. Their kiss was electric from the moment her tongue penetrated Mika's lips. Mika groaned into the kiss, her breathing rapid, but broke away after a minute, turning her face to the side as she gasped. Lauren pressed her face to the base of Mika's neck, suckling the skin and pressing her teeth to her.

Mika's hips slammed into her as she cried out, then began writhing against Lauren, who felt her body twitching in climax. Lauren ground her sex against her until she felt herself reach the place where her muscles tensed in anticipation, then released her own cry as her climax erupted.

Her sex was still sending waves of pulsing pleasure into her when she felt Mika's body relax. She lowered her girlfriend onto her body, caressing her back, aftershocks still rippling through her. She kissed the place on her neck that she'd suckled, her cheeks tensing in a wry expression as she realized there was a red mark. She would have to apologize for that.

Mika murmured something she didn't catch. When Lauren asked what she'd said, she was silent for a moment before saying, "Just how much I like making love with you." Lauren didn't think that had been quite what she'd heard, but she let the comment pass.

"You know, I didn't bring my PJs, either," Lauren said. "I have a tee shirt and shorts in my bag. Should I wear those?"

"I don't mind if we sleep naked," Mika said. "I like to feel your body against me."

"Alright then," Lauren said, sliding off her. "I'm ready to sleep now. You wore me out."

"Me too," said Mika.

~~~~~

Leaving in the morning was awkward in a way that Lauren hadn't considered. If she just dressed and left it would feel like a one night stand. It was anything but that.

So after she'd recovered her panties from the floor and her shorts and tee shirt from her bag, she woke Mika.

"What is it, love?" her girlfriend asked, once she'd become conscious.

"I need to go," she said. "I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye. I'll text you."

"Alright, I'll come to the door with you," said Mika, sleepily.

Naked, she followed Lauren through the house, turning her for a kiss before she left.

Lauren's hands explored her lover's nude body as they kissed, her arousal climbing. Finally she stepped back. "God, I wish we could..." she said. "I'm going to be pressed for time as it is. And, uh, you may need to wear a scarf for a couple of days. Sorry about that."

Mika frowned, then touched her neck where Lauren's mouth had been. "Naughty girl," she said. She yawned. "It was worth it."

~~~~~

On the following Tuesday, Lauren invited both Mika and Mandy for dinner. She knew they'd said hello to each other in passing, but she was close to both, and she was sure that encouraging friendship between them wouldn't risk their landlord / tenant relationship.

Mika showed up first, in impossibly tight jeans and fleecy boots, which she immediately stepped out of. Since Lauren didn't have guest slippers - she'd need to remedy that - her girlfriend entered the house in the bright pink socks Mika had seen at their first meeting. When she took off her coat, though, she wasn't wearing the fox tee shirt.

"Hah!" Lauren exclaimed. "Great minds think alike." She turned to show Mika that she was wearing the boobies tee shirt, while Mika was, of course, in her small tits shirt. With an attractive neck scarf hiding her hickey.

Mandy arrived a few minutes later, also in wooly socks and jeans, with a lemon blouse. She had dark blonde curls, a small nose and grey-blue eyes that had once inspired passion in Lauren, but now inspired warmth and familiarity. Her eyes immediately took in Lauren's and Mika's tee shirts, and she snorted. "Oh, God, you two. Way to make a girl feel like a third wheel without saying a word." She thumped a bottle of wine down onto the table, and gave Lauren a hug, before holding her hand out to Mika. "Nice to meet you officially, Ms. Landlady."

"Mika," said Lauren's girlfriend. "I feel like I know you already."

"She knows you," Lauren interjected, "because I had to convince her we weren't having a snogfest in your apartment. Flat, I mean," she said, winking at Mika.

"A... what?" asked Mandy.

"It was a joke," Mika said. "I did not think you two were having an affair."

"An affair?" Mandy was wide-eyed. "You couldn't pay me to sleep with Lauren!" Then she frowned at her friend. "Well, I guess you could pay me, but the question is how much, and who would want to?"

"Dinner's nothing special," said Lauren. "I knew I wouldn't have time to cook, so I threw everything into the crockpot this morning. It's just a winter stew. You didn't turn vegetarian again, right?" She directed the question at Many.

"Not since Jen and I called it quits," she said. "It wasn't a bad option, but I got out of that relationship craving meat. And sex." She turned to Mika and raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I shouldn't say that part if you think Lauren and me might be having a... snogfest? on the sly? That sounds very... Austin Powers, right?"

"Oh God, don't even mention that film," said Mika, "and I don't think that at all."

Lauren had opened and poured the wine. She handed a glass to each of them, then waved them to the table. "She's certainly not going to think it when you get settled in, is she? Hint, Mika, Mandy doesn't have fifty cousins, all hot and about her own age. If she tries to tell you that, suspect shenanigans."

"I can't help being popular with the ladies," Mandy said. "I'll talk to you about modifying the lease if one persuades me to let her move in," she added, to Mika. "It's happened before. But I'm not going vegetarian for her, however good she is in bed."

Mika and Mandy both seemed to enjoy the stew. Afterward, the three sat on the couch with the remaining wine, considering what movie to watch. When Mika saw that the new Wallace and Gromit movie had been released, her eyes lit up. It turned out that Mandy also had enjoyed watching earlier movies in the series. Lauren had never seen one, but was happy to let the consensus decide, and though she was puzzled by some of the events the other two women laughed over, it was still a funny movie. She promised to watch the earlier installments with Mika at some point.

When Mandy left, they agreed to repeat the experience soon, with more wine and taxis. Or maybe at Mandy's place, where none of them would need to travel, if Lauren agreed to cook.

"I like her," said Mika, after Mandy had left. "She's very... open, isn't she?"

"I think it's because she's an ex and a best friend," said Lauren. "She and I have no secrets and no shame with each other. Even with a close friend you might tend to be a little coy and a little flirty. She and I are well past that, and you get the blunt treatment by virtue of being my girlfriend. So yeah, I don't see why the three of us can't be good friends. She'll probably succumb to wanderlust in a year or two. She still wants to see the world."

"I respect that," said Mika. Then she added, "Is it time for me to leave, too?"

"Oh, hell, no," said Lauren. "I have a magic trick I want to show you. Come with me."

Mika gave her a puzzled look, narrowing her eyes as she recognized the route to Lauren's bedroom. "I think I'm going to like this magic trick?" she said, her tone speculative.

"Maybe," Lauren conceded. She took the hem of Mika's shirt and began to pull it up. "See, what happens if I remove 'small British tits'?" She pulled the shirt over Mika's head, her girlfriend willingly raising her arms for her. "What am I left with?"

"Oh God." Mika laughed. "Small British tits. But I can do better. If I take off 'boobies,' what do I get?" She yanked Lauren's tee shirt up and off.

"A bra?" Lauren offered.

"Not for long," Mika said, stepping close.

~~~~~

As January progressed, Mika contacted Lauren less often, and was less enthusiastic about going on dates. Movie night was the last time they'd slept together. It was disappointing, but not surprising. Lauren was fairly sure she knew the reason, and that they would get past it. If Mika needed space she would give it to her.

She was surprised when Mika invited her to an art gallery, and of course she agreed.

Mika was quiet, but not withdrawn. The gallery was a showing of multiple students. Some of the work Lauren felt she could relate to, and some she found alien. Mika found an entirely different set of work interesting. Lauren wasn't sure if she'd ever come to appreciate most of them, but after Mika's explanations, she felt she understood a little about why Mika did. Especially the sculptures.

When they were sitting with coffee, Mika admitted the reason for the invite.

"I would have asked you to come to the park with me again," she said. "I wanted to see you in a neutral location. Somewhere private, but not intimate. But today's high isn't going to hit freezing, and I didn't think either of us would want to suffer that."

"Yeah, I agree," Lauren replied, apprehensively. "So, what's up?"

"I'm sorry I've been absent the last few days," Mika said. "On the seventh... the seventh of February..." She had to stop to clear her throat. "It will be the fifth anniversary of Nicole's accident. Every year has been hard. This one, I think, won't be as bad as the others were, largely because you've made my life brighter, but I can't just turn off grieving about what happened, especially on the seventh, and I'm dreading it."

"Honey, I'll understand completely if you say no, but would you like me to stay with you on that day?"

Mika frowned in surprise, as if the idea hadn't even occurred to her. "I... think I would," she said. "Can you? It's Friday. And I will absolutely not be up for having sex, or any kind of intimacy."

"Hugs, maybe?" Lauren suggested.

"Oh yeah, hugs. Hugs I think will help keep me tethered. You do understand, don't you?"

"I think I do, honey," Lauren said. "And what I don't understand doesn't matter. I'm not going through your grief process, so I'll follow your lead. If you want a hug, you can have one. If you need me to fuck off, I'll fuck off."

Mika let out a weak chuckle. "I don't think I'll tell you to fuck off," she said. "Uhh... would you like to come with me on St. Valentine's? I always visit her grave. I visit her parents and then drive to the cemetery. I could leave you with them."

"Sure, Mika," said Lauren. She grinned. "This is why it made sense for me to work after Christmas. I have plenty of time accrued."

"That, and showing me your stockings," Mika replied, with a slight grin. "Intimacy might not be high on my list of desires right now, but I want to tell you, that was hot. I'll make the travel arrangements, and I'll be paying for both of us."

"Are you sure?" Lauren asked.

"This is my... uh, pilgrimage, and it would make me very happy to have you with me, so yes," Mika said. "I speak to her. At the grave, I mean. I don't know if she hears me, but it helps me to believe that she does. It helps me to cope. I share my worries and my joys with her. There haven't been so many joys, but telling her my worries helps me not feel like they're building up inside me. It's like writing a diary. Or a love letter, I suppose

"It won't be easy, I think, but this year I'm going to tell her about you."

"Oh, honey..." Lauren took her hand, then released it as she realized her own eyes had filled with tears. She took a tissue from her purse, holding onto it after dabbing at her eyes, and reaching for Mika's hand again. "I knew about the time of year. I thought you'd want to put our relationship on pause. I wasn't worried about the long term, but I know I will need to give you space. For you to include me makes me very happy."

"You're part of my life now," said Mika. "You're right, I need a pause, but only for sex, while my feelings are so grim. I still want to be with you." She gave Lauren's hand a quick squeeze. "After Valentine's Day I'm sure I'll want to make up for lost time. Maybe you can take some more PTO so we can spend a few days in bed."

"I always like the way you think," said Lauren. "Maybe we could go away for a couple of days. We won't think about that until after Valentine's, though."

~~~~~

The seventh of February hadn't been as hard as Lauren had feared. She'd moved some clothes and toiletries into Mika's house, sharing her bed, if chastely, on Thursday night, holding her during the day, when tears threatened, and in the evening when they finally overflowed. She had slept with her again on Friday night, and every night after, checking every day that Mika wanted her there, until the thirteenth arrived.

Mika set up the automated cat feeder for the Admiral, checked her water, then petted her for a few minutes before leaving. Mandy had agreed to check on the cat every day.

Lauren had effectively moved in with her, which she wasn't entirely comfortable with. She planned to start sleeping at her own place after this trip. Living together was something she felt they would want in the future, but it needed to be a decision made together, not a response to a difficult situation. While Mika wanted her as a bed warmer, she'd be there for her. In the medium term, they'd need to talk.

Lauren drove them to the airport, parking the Lexus there. Mika had arranged for a rental and a hotel at their destination. After checking with Lauren, she'd selected a room with a king-size bed. If they'd been able to share Mika's bed platonically for the last week, they could do the same traveling.

After checking in, they drove around the city, eating dinner at a restaurant on the bay. "Maybe this is where we can come for our trip," Mika said.

"What trip?" asked Lauren.

"The one you suggested we take together."

"Oh, right. Maybe," Lauren agreed. "Yeah, that would be good. Though I was thinking about finding a house in the mountains, all to ourselves. Away from everything, maybe with a chance of being snowed in, though all I really care about is there's a comfortable bed we can get lost in. Maybe a hot tub."

"We do need some of that time together, true," said Mika. "The mountains sound nice, but so does a date on the waterfront. We should do both."

"That's the best idea," Lauren agreed.

The night brought restless sleep. At one point, Lauren woke to find the bed quivering. It took her a minute to realize that Mika was facing away, crying, clearly trying to suppress the sounds. Lauren crept towards her until she was close enough to rest a hand on her waist. A moment later, she felt Mika's hand wrap around hers. Mika stopped trying to be quiet, and that seemed to help; within five minutes her tears subsided. She rolled over, kissed Lauren's collar bone, then allowed Lauren to wrap her in her arms. Soon, she was asleep, Lauren following close behind.

~~~~~

Nicole's parents lived a short ferry ride followed by a short drive away. The line wasn't long, and soon Mika was pulling the rented Audi into the driveway of a gorgeous medium sized house. It was in a heavily wooded lot. The trees were bare, but for a couple of evergreens on the perimeter, but Lauren could picture how lovely the trees would be in spring. Even with the barren branches surrounding it, the house was impressive. It had polished wooden decking that ran down a few feet to a placid waterway. There was a jetty extending from the deck, but no boats were moored to it.

There was a furious barking from inside the house as they approached. It changed to a whine when Nicole's parents emerged, leaving the small dog inside.

Mika and her late wife's parents were all in tears when they hugged. They seemed tears of shared loss rather than heavy grief, as though the source of Nicole's parents' sadness was Mika's loss, and hers was theirs. Tears of closeness. When Mika drew back, she wiped her face, then introduced Lauren as "my girlfriend."

This was the part Lauren had dreaded. These people had no reason to love their daughter's wife's partner. But they did. They hugged her as they had Mika - without the shared tears, but Lauren found she had trouble holding her own back.

Their names were Rick and Morgan, and after introducing themselves they took both women inside. Morgan offered coffee, but Mika shook her head. "I want to catch the next ferry," she said.

"We'll see you later, sweety," said Morgan. "You will stay for dinner?"

"Of course," Mika said, then left Lauren with her in-laws.

~~~~~

This was the second trial that had concerned Lauren. Would she be interrogated or punished once she was alone with these strangers, whose daughter's place she was - in a sense - trying to take? But the inquisition didn't happen. Rick and Morgan seemed genuinely lovely people.

"Would you like coffee?" Morgan asked again. "We keep tea for Mika's visits, but no one else we know really drinks it. You're welcome to it, of course."

Lauren smiled. "I liked Mika's tea from the first, and it's growing on me even more, but I'm a coffee girl at heart. I'd love a cup."

Rick led her into the spacious living room, taking a seat on the couch with her, but with a good distance between them. Friendly, not intimidating. He asked what she did for work, and his eyes didn't glaze over too badly when she described it.

Morgan took the chair across from them after delivering their coffees. She served it on a tray with milk and sugar. Lauren added milk to her coffee, then sat back. The small Yorkie, Sean, who seemed perfectly calm now, had followed Morgan into the room, but had decided that he couldn't avoid greeting the newcomer any longer. He leaped up onto the couch between Rick and Lauren, and curled up against Lauren, panting, when she petted him.

"How did you meet Mika, dear?" Morgan asked.

Lauren suppressed a grin. This was the interrogation, but it didn't sound like a hostile one.

She explained about Mandy's apartment hunting. She mentioned Mandy as a friend, not an ex. She talked about sitting outside talking to Mika for hours at the table in the center of the yard.

"That is a pretty house they own," Morgan said. "She owns, I mean. You'd think after five years I'd get used to that, but I guess a mom never does. I'm happy she found someone, dear. She's needed to move on with her life."

"I don't know how much you know about me," Lauren said. "Has Mika talked about me?"

It was Rick who answered. "She called us from Japan," he said. "She seemed very nervous. She told us that she'd met someone..."

Morgan picked up the story before Rick could continue. "We were so worried!" she said. "Well, I was worried. She calls us from Japan saying she's met a girl, of course I thought she meant a Japanese girl. So she'd be moving! I love that girl! I don't want her to leave."

"'Course, I didn't know that she was panicking," said Rick, "because I waited to hear what she said. She met you here. She seemed to glow when she talked about you, so we knew it was serious."

"I'm very serious about her," Lauren said, "but I want you to know that she still loves Nicole, and I'll never try to change that. I think she has a big heart with room for another, but I don't want to replace your daughter."

"I think you wouldn't have come here if you did, dear," Morgan said. "You know about her need to visit Nicole, and you seem okay with it."

"I'm very okay with it," Lauren agreed. "Could you... if it isn't rude of me to ask, could you tell me about Nicole?"

"Oh, sweety, of course we can," said Morgan.

Rick stood with a grunt. "I'll get the photos."

The next couple of hours found Lauren looking at photos, aided by Sean, who didn't care whether he was sitting beside her or on her lap, as long as she didn't stop petting him.

She saw a girl she'd never met grow into maturity, increasingly coming to resemble the wedding photo and Mika's sculpture. Photos of her playing soccer, a much younger Rick giving her a piggy-back ride in her club uniform. Waving down from a tree house at an unfamiliar home. A photo of her scowling with her arm in a cast.

"That look is because her best friend was on vacation and couldn't be the first to sign her cast," Morgan said. "I think they were girlfriends for a time when they were sixteen, but we weren't supposed to know. They stayed friends, though. Nicole didn't come out to us until she turned eighteen."

"'Course, we knew all along," said Rick. "We probably knew before she did. She never had time for boys. I think there's a photo of her with Maddy, hold on..."

He skipped ahead a few pages, finding a photo of Nicole, in her mid-teens but already startlingly beautiful, with a pretty dark-haired girl, each with her arm around the other's waist. "That was before there was anything romantic between them, I think," he said, "but who can know?"

"No, you're right," said Morgan, "because when they were dating, no one was allowed to see them together, so she'd not have let us take this photo."

They came to the photos of Nicole with Mika. Most of the early ones had clearly been taken by a friend holding Nicole's phone, but the two girls looked so happy. And more than a little drunk, in several shots. There was a photo of them at a sidewalk café, with a metal teapot between them, and several of them before stone buildings that looked ancient. These must have been at Oxford.

Of course there were wedding photos, including a copy of the one on Mika's wall. After that, several of them outdoors or at home, a few with Morgan and Rick. There was one of both of them wearing summer dresses sitting at the round table in Mika's yard. Their yard, then. Lauren's eyes filled with tears to see that, and though she tried to brush them away before anyone could see, Morgan picked up on it immediately. She took Lauren's hand, drawing her to her feet and hugging her.

"I'm sorry," said Lauren. "I didn't expect to..." She took a deep breath. "I wish I'd known her."

"She'd have liked you, sweety," Morgan insisted, releasing her.

The photos ended after that, which was upsetting in its own way, of course. Rick told her more about Nicole's studies, awards she'd won at school, how excited she was to get her scholarship, and how she'd been aggressively recruited even before she had her doctorate.

"She was brilliant," Rick said. "She never did anything by halves. She could have done anything she wanted. Some of those job offers must have been tempting, but she knew that the doctorate would open doors, and she knew exactly what she wanted to research. And she never gave a f..." He broke off, glancing at Morgan. "'Scuse me, dear. She never gave a flying fuck about what anyone thought to her being gay. Not once she'd come out."

"For the time she was with us, she did very well for herself," said Morgan. "Including finding your Mika. I wish they could have been together longer, but now I want Mika to be as happy as she was with Nicole." She smiled at Lauren. "I think she has a chance."

"'Course, it goes without saying," said Rick, "that we'll murder you if you hurt her. Right?" He grinned, not at all murderously.

"If I hurt her, I'll let you," said Lauren.

"She might have parents in Japan," Morgan said, "but she became our daughter in 2015 and she always will be."

"That's lovely," Lauren said, sincerely. "I know she feels the same."

~~~~~

"I love your house," Lauren said, a little later. "Being right on the water is amazing. Do you have a boat? Your jetty is empty."

"We do," Rick said. "It's in storage. Come back with Mika in June. We can go fishing, or just ride around."

"That would be fun," Lauren said. "I'm not sure about fishing, though."

~~~~~

When Mika returned in the late afternoon, her eyes were red-rimmed, but she was smiling.

"How are you, dear?" Morgan asked.

"I'm well," Mika replied. "I feel good about today." She moved over to Lauren, but barely glanced at her, still focused on Morgan. "I feel that I'm ready to accept that I can both miss her and be at peace with my life at the same time." Lauren felt her hand slip into hers, as if it was something so natural for Mika that she didn't even need to look for her. "I've always left the cemetery feeling sad. Today I was sad, while I spoke to her, but I left feeling comforted."

Morgan gave her a hug, one-armed to allow Mika to keep holding Lauren's hand, then bustled off to finish getting dinner ready.

"I want to make love to you tonight," Mika whispered to Lauren, who had to clamp her thighs together at the sudden spike of arousal.

"Are we okay for ferry times?" Lauren asked, out loud, but intending for Mika to consider if their plans required an exit at any specific time.

"It runs until late," said Mika, a quick nod acknowledging her concern.

~~~~~

Cars ahead of them left dark tire tracks on the floor of the ferry. Lauren wasn't looking forward to the short walk from the Audi to the interior of the ferry across wet steel plates in an icy wind, but it was over quickly.

Halfway through the journey, Mika insisted on going back outside to see the view. Though Lauren had expected the experience to be far too cold - and she wasn't wrong - the view of the city lights over the water was magical. Lauren asked a random guy to take a photo of them, handing him her phone and wrapping an arm around Mika, who learned into her.

When the phone flashed, Mika gave her a disappointed look. "Turn your flash off," she suggested, then asked the helpful guy, "could you do that again?"

"Are you sure there's enough light?" Lauren asked. At her girlfriend's raised eyebrows she said, "Right. Photographer. Silly me."

The guy with her phone took another shot. Lauren checked it, then thanked him. She turned the phone so that Mika could see it.

"Our first photo as a couple," Mika said. "It's good. Send it to me."

"Let's get back inside first," Lauren suggested. "My fingers might fall off in this cold."

"That would be bad," Mika agreed. "I'm going to need those fingers pretty soon."

Perhaps they hadn't stepped back as far as Lauren had thought, or perhaps Mika had raised her voice a little too high to counter the sounds of the wind and the engine, but Lauren thought she saw the helpful guy's shoulders shake with a laugh.

~~~~~

The day had been long and stressful, especially for Mika. Not only had she visited her late wife's grave, she'd queued in line for the ferry and made the crossing four times.

It must have been an expensive trip, too. The ferry had probably cost her as much as the flight. Then she'd paid for Lauren's flight and two nights in a hotel at the airport that can't have been cheap.

The hotel didn't have a hot tub, but the shower was comfortable and big enough for two. If they were planning to break their intimacy fast anyway, Lauren suggested, showering together might be a way to do that without risking falling asleep. Mika gave her a thoughtful smile, then a nod.

Lauren had far too much fun soaping down Mika's body to pay attention to her own, but that was fine, because Mika did the same for her. Though she was fairly certain that Mika used four times as much soap on her breasts as anywhere else. When she pointed that out, Mika retorted, "Well, yes, but that's because there's more to cover."

After rinsing Mika off, she pulled her close to kiss. With a couple of weeks of voluntary abstinence while sharing her life and her bed with Lauren, Mika was especially passionate. The hunger in her kiss made Lauren's heart race. Her beautiful, sexy, feeling girlfriend wanted her, and she was eager to oblige, dropping to her knees to kiss Mika's pussy lips.

She drew her fingers over Mika's sex, lubricating them in her wetness rather than the shower water, then worked them carefully into Mika as she caressed her with her tongue. When she was sure that her fingers were gliding smoothly inside her, she began to move them more forcefully. Mika groaned as she tongued her clit.

Pushing Mika into the corner of the shower for support, Lauren lifted one of Mika's feet to her shoulder, giving her fingers and mouth freer access to her sex. Then she suckled her clit as her fingers pumped inside her. Mika was far too desperate for her to allow for much finesse, so Lauren pushed her until she came hard, her whole body spasming, flooding Lauren's lips, which was a novel and exciting experience. Lauren used her free hand to keep Mika pressed into the corner of the shower, so that she wouldn't collapse or slip as she convulsed.

Lauren kept moving her fingers as she lowered Mika's foot back to the floor of the shower. Then she eased out of her and stood.

Mika's eyes were unfocused, but she returned to herself after a moment. "I hope you hadn't planned to keep your hair dry," she said, grinning, with a rasp in her voice.

"Guess that's what happens when you're on your knees in a shower," Lauren agreed.

Mika's eyes had recovered their sharpness and now narrowed in amusement. "Don't go away," she said. "I get to do you now."

"Do me?" Lauren scoffed.

"Have my wicked way with you," Mika said. "Make love to you. Fornicate with you. Shag you. Boff you."

"You seem a little punch-drunk," Lauren said.

"Possibly," Mika agreed.

"Let's get out of the shower and you can do me in the big comfortable bed."

Mika pouted, clearly not wanting to wait, but she turned the water off.

Lauren towelled off quickly, drying her hair only enough to stop it dripping, then wrapped a warm dry towel around herself and climbed into the king-sized bed. Her lover followed a moment later, wrapped in her own towel.

Once in bed, Mika unwrapped both towels, her warm, damp body nestling against Lauren's. One hand began to caress Lauren's pussy as their lips met. Fingers dipped into her, shallowly at first, then more deeply as they became slick with her arousal.

Soon Mika's fingers were deep within her. They moved slowly, curling against her inner passage, exploring, Lauren's breathing becoming heavy. Their tongues met as her body pushed into her lover's hand.

Then Mika's other hand brushed her clit. Her muscles clenched involuntarily, propelling her pussy forward as she groaned into the kiss. Mika's fingers pressed firmly to either side of her clit, then the fingers inside her began to move, Lauren's sex manipulated from within and without, her arousal surging at the touch.

Lauren was already turned on from the shower, and Mika wasn't giving her any quarter. She was being driven relentlessly toward her peak. As her body drew close to its breaking point, she wrapped her arms around her lover, kissing her passionately, Mika's breasts digging into her own.

She broke her lips free from Mika's, crying out as she fell into climax. Her sex clenched her lover's fingers, her hips pushing her into Mika's other hand as she quivered in pleasure.

Even when the last aftershocks had faded, Lauren didn't release Mika, only relaxing her hold enough for Mika to fit her body to Lauren's for sleep.

~~~~~

As good as the hotel was, they had only coffee in the room. Lauren brewed herself a cup before taking a shower. Her hair was badly tangled from the previous night's shower and subsequent activity, so she used the hotel shampoo and conditioner - probably a mistake, but she didn't want to tear her hair out by the roots.

After she'd used the hotel dryer, she combed her hair through one more time, then returned to the living room. Mika was just beginning to stir, and she stood for a time watching the narrow face of the woman with whom she was now completely, irrevocably in love.

When she stroked Mika's cheek, Mika smiled. Without opening her eyes, she captured Lauren's hand in her own, brushed it with her lips, then stretched.

"There's only coffee," Lauren said, surprised to hear how husky her voice sounded. "Would you like some?"

Shaking her head, Mika released her hand. She pulled down the sheet, Lauren, feeling a thrill as her gaze took in the slender naked body, the small patches of fuzz on her sex. "I drink coffee occasionally, but never hotel coffee," she said. "They have tea at the breakfast buffet. I'll get a quick shower."

"Do you want me to pack your things?" Lauren asked.

"That would be lovely," said Mika, her elegant accent finally noticeable as she moved closer to wakefulness.

~~~~~

Lauren had picked up a second round of the spicy sausages at the breakfast bar with a few more eggs and gravy. For some reason, she was hungry. Surely it couldn't have anything to do with last night's lovemaking? She grinned inwardly. Maybe they could develop their own exercise program...

There was an unusual look on Mika's face. Possibly slightly anxious, though she didn't seem upset or tense. A couple of times she seemed like she was about to speak, but then looked back at her own plate.

"What is it, honey?" Lauren asked. "It looks like you want to say something."

Mika looked up. Her shoulders twitched in a slight shrug, her expression chagrined. "Yes," she said. "I do. I want to ask you to do something for me."

"Anything, Mika, you know that," Lauren said.

"I want you to come with me. Before we leave today," Mika said. "I want to introduce you to Nicole. I know, it's daft, but it would mean a lot to me if I don't feel I'm hiding anything."

"Of course I will," Lauren replied. "It doesn't sound... daft? at all."

~~~~~

The cemetery was huge and picturesque. Mika held Lauren's hand as they walked through the placid paths. A middle-aged couple stood looking at a grave which was surrounded by a low wooden fence. Lauren glanced at the name on the headstone as they passed and did a double-take, though she kept walking.

"That's not him, is it?" she whispered to Mika, leaning close.

"It is," Mika said. "And his son."

"Nicole's in good company," Lauren murmured.

"In another six weeks the cherries will bloom. That was a more significant criterion than her famous neighbor," said Mika. "That, and how her parents can visit her at any time." Her steps slowed as she approached a modest headstone close to a bare-branched tree. "We visited often in 2020. Of course, I had to drive, since travel was shutting down, and I wouldn't have risked a flight anyway. I would stay with Rick and Morgan, but I wore a mask the entire time and slept in Nicole's old room, which they didn't enter. God, that was a hard year." She wiped at her eyes and shook her head. "But here we could be in the open, free from restrictions, though we still wore our masks religiously. We were here when the cherries were blooming just before April."

Nicole's name was on the simple headstone. Mika lowered herself to her knees, then sat on her heels. Lauren attempted to emulate her posture, sitting beside and slightly behind her. It wasn't comfortable, but she thought she could bear the awkward pose for a time. Mika reached for her hand, seeming to sense rather than see where Lauren was, just as she had done the previous day. Lauren took her hand, holding it gently.

"Hello, love." Mika's voice was soft. "I told you about Lauren yesterday. She's here with me now. I wanted her to meet you." She paused before continuing. "You and I were going to grow old together. We had so many plans. It's always going to hurt that it can't happen. But I think I've found the woman I will grow old with. She's special to me in a different way than you were, but I want to be with her. You were never a jealous girl, so I'm sure you'll understand. Even though I've fallen in love with her, I want you to know that I'll always love you."

Lauren barely suppressed an exclamation, but did squeeze Mika's hand, feeling the pressure returned.

"Next year I'll visit on the seventh, and spend St. Valentine's Day with Lauren. You'll never become less to me, but I need to celebrate her becoming more. I would like to go forward with your blessing."

Mika fell silent, remaining still, her head bowed. Lauren had heard much that had made her heart overflow, but for Mika's sake she needed to stay calm. Several minutes passed, then, suddenly, Lauren felt a sense of peace settle over her. It couldn't be supernatural, so it had to be her reaction to Mika finding her own serenity. She didn't know how she was aware of that, but it was borne out a moment later. Mika released her hand and stood, she made a small bow, then turned to Lauren, offering her hand to help her rise, her face seeming perfectly tranquil, seeming at ease within herself in a way that Lauren didn't think she'd ever seen. She didn't look back once as they moved back through the cemetery, the fenced graves now unobserved.

"I'd like to come back when the trees bloom," Lauren said, softly.

Mika's face turned toward her. She wore a huge smile. "So would I. We'll meet Rick and Morgan here."

"You... uh... did mean for me to hear what you said, didn't you?"

"I did, love," Mika said. "I didn't want to keep you a secret from Nicole, even if her presence is only my wishful fantasy, but I don't want to keep any secrets from you, either. Come to think of it, you're a bit of a fantasy, too."

Lauren rolled her eyes, holding her girlfriend's hand tightly. "You're thinking about my boobs again, aren't you?"

"I'm always thinking about your boobs, darling," Mika said. "Well, most of the time. Often, anyway. Sometimes. Yes, they cross my mind once in a while. I even got you a tee shirt to remind me."

"I think it's you who's daft," Lauren observed. "I love you anyway."

"I love you too," Mika said, "and I am so happy to be able to admit that."

She seemed lighter. Lauren wondered whether she'd planned in advance to take her to visit the grave. She hadn't mentioned it earlier. Whenever she'd made the decision, it was clearly a good one. Mika had resolved a conflict within herself that she might not even have realized was still holding her down.

~~~~~

They had lunch at a different waterside restaurant before flying home. "I think you're right," Lauren said. "We should come back here for those few days we promised ourselves. If we come here to visit the grave with the cherry blossoms with Rick and Morgan, we could take a few days extra."

"Indeed we could," Mika agreed, "if you have the holiday time available."

"I do," Lauren said. "If we're here for a few days it would be better to drive. You should let me pay for lodging, though. You've taken care of this whole visit."

"Uh, love, there's something we need to talk about," Mika said. She seemed embarrassed, and didn't continue for a long time. Lauren had taken several forkfuls of the fish she'd ordered before Mika seemed finally to psych herself up to continue. "I told you about Nicole's job, and the startup going public?"

"You did. She had vested stock, and you said she did well from it."

"That's right, and she did," Mika said. "Even after the IPO, she thought the technology had potential, so she held onto the shares. They dropped a little after the IPO, but she had faith. I wish she'd been able to see how right she was. During the pandemic, when virtually every other sector of the economy was in dire straits, biotech exploded, some companies more than others. Hers was one of the ones that shot through the roof. You don't need to worry about me paying for a hotel or two."

"Mika?" Lauren asked. "How much money are you talking about?"

"I haven't really touched it, because it's too much for me to think about," said Mika, "and because it felt... it felt like I was taking advantage of Nicole's passing. I wanted to keep working because I needed to stay busy. I could have used it to quit and focus on sculpting, but it was hard to feel that I had anything worthwhile to say while I was grieving. I feel like I'm finally ready to move beyond that, which is your doing." She paused for a moment. "How much? Nicole left a fifth to her parents. I'm sure she didn't think they'd inherit from their daughter; that isn't how things work. It was probably a line item, ensure their names were on the form in case I passed before her. Or maybe she thought it would help with funeral expenses in the incredibly unlikely event she passed first. They bought a house."

Lauren felt her eyes widen. "Holy fuck," she breathed. "The house I saw?" The place on the island had to be worth a few million.

"I helped persuade them that Nicole would have wanted it," she said, "because she would. She loved her parents. They know she would have wanted to be there for them if she could. Not using the money won't bring her back."

Lauren felt shaken. "I had no idea. I think I understand why they would have such a hard time putting the money to use. Or why you do."

God, that would have been so hard for her. Not only did she have to deal with Nicole's death, but she had to think about how her wife's passing had made her wealthy. Her survival guilt would have increased by an order of magnitude. Lauren knew without needing to be told that she'd have given every penny to have had her back. No wonder she'd still been suffering so deeply five years later.

"I think I'll be able to see it less negatively now," Mika said. "You've made it possible to see a future, without losing my past. And maybe I will cut the business back and take some time for creation. I feel that I'd like to put some of it to work in Nicole's memory, though. Maybe you can help me think of something."

"I'll try, of course," said Lauren. "But, you know, I still want to pay for our next trip."

~~~~~

After spending one more night at Mika's, Lauren stopped staying over as a matter of course. Not that she didn't prefer sharing Mika's bed, but her girlfriend no longer needed her for support, and they both felt their relationship should progress naturally. The distance was deliberate. It was what Lauren had planned, and they talked about it. Lauren didn't want Mika to feel that she'd pulled back because she didn't want to be with her. But to this point they'd never really been in a position for a normal relationship, and she didn't want Mika to feel like she'd been trapped into one with her. Nor, to be honest, did she want to feel that Mika's need had shaped how she felt. She was fairly sure that wasn't the case, but how would she feel five years from now if she didn't allow space between them? Ten years from now?

It wasn't a perfect plan. Mika worked weekends, and Lauren worked weekdays. They'd try to get together on Friday and Saturday nights for dinner, which would invariably lead to Lauren spending the night at Mika's. On Saturday morning, Lauren would lie in bed with a cup of tea supplied by her girlfriend, only to watch her dress in a dark suit, grab her equipment and leave her alone in the house.

She was far from lonely on the nights she didn't spend with Mika. She spent occasional evenings with co-workers, even Rachel, whose embarrassment had turned into an awkward friendship. Rachel was not out at work for family reasons, but she had a string of funny stories about past encounters and a recent affair with a married woman that she could share with the office's only out lesbian. She was a natural comedian, and her one-liners had caused more than one beer snorting mishap.

"You should probably find a better outlet than a frustrated straight woman, you know," Lauren said.

"She wasn't frustrated when I left her," Rachel said. "I guarantee that."

"Bet she is now," Lauren stated.

"Oh yeah, I bet she is," Rachel agreed. "Problem is, so am I."

Lauren was looking forward to the trip she and Mika had planned. She had a week's time off booked for the last week of March. That should be perfect for cherry blossoms, and there happened to be a symphonic event on the Thursday. Of course, Mika had managed to acquire tickets. Lauren didn't ask how, but this time she suspected she knew. Mika had contacts in the art world, and likely a willingness to pay for an overpriced resold pair of tickets.

~~~~~

They headed to the coast on Sunday evening, Lauren's Lexus guaranteeing a comfortable drive. The weather was cool, but much milder than it had been five weeks earlier. Lauren had found them an inn which had king-size rooms with whirlpool baths. She'd booked it at a corporate rate, but it was still pricey. They would return on Friday, after the event, as Mika had a wedding on the Saturday.

Cherry trees were blooming all around the city, not just in the cemetery. Rick and Morgan met them on Monday, Sean bouncing along on a leash, recognizing and greeting Lauren and Mika. They paid their respects to Nicole, then told stories about her, still standing around her resting place. Though the storytelling couldn't include Lauren, she found the tales interesting, and was gratified to see the affection the three shared. Mika's belief - was that too strong a word? - in Nicole's presence made the stories more meaningful, as they were sharing with her, too.

The trees in the cemetery were in full bloom, and the view in all directions was charming, made bittersweet by the presence of so many headstones.

Still with Nicole's parents, they ate lunch, then toured the Japanese Gardens, which had a very impressive collection of cherry trees of different species, each grouping having a slightly different color. Though there were few falling blossoms, compared with what Lauren had seen in videos of streets in Japan or even DC, there were some. She didn't comment on the one that had lodged in Mika's hair, instead capturing the sight on her phone. Without flash.

Each evening ended with a relaxing soak, followed by sharing their warm, relaxed bodies in the large bed.

On Thursday they washed each other's hair. Lauren suggested visiting a hairdresser, but Mika said she'd prefer to have Lauren take care of her. She'd brought the shampoo and conditioner she used on her fine black hair.

Under Mika's direction, Lauren washed her hair. Then Mika twisted her hair into a towel before washing Lauren's. Each combed and dried the other, Lauren finding that brushing out Mika's hair was as sensual an experience as Mika brushing hers has been. Somehow each stroke felt that she was showing her affection for the woman who sat with her back to her, her features relaxed.

With hours to kill before the concert, they donned their "matching" tee shirts, small tits and boobies, and spent their final afternoon in the city, holding hands as they walked the pier.

They returned to the room with time for Mika to work on their hair. She twisted Lauren's hair into a slightly different knot than she'd shown her before, producing two pins with a green flower design and short strings of green beads.

"I bought these in Mito for you," she said, after Lauren had admired her work. "I've been hoping to have a chance to use them."

"They're beautiful, Mika," Lauren said, "but I hope it's the last gift you brought me. I still gave you nothing for Christmas."

"There is no more," Mika said, "but you've given me much more than a hairpin. You've given me a new future." She grinned. "And don't forget your strip tease before the camera," she said, straightening her hair with a brush.

She twisted her own hair into a knot, using a much plainer pin. "I am going to have my hair dyed," she announced, "when we get home. One of my clients has a really interesting style. I need to find who her hairdresser is."

The event was audiovisual and casual, so Lauren had brought a black off the shoulder minidress, while Mika's green dress was a little longer. Mika wore longer heels, bringing her close to Lauren's height in her low pumps, and kept her hand tucked into Lauren's arm as they moved through the crowd.

Back in the inn, Lauren ordered a bottle of white wine from room service, an extravagance she'd never allowed herself before. But then, she'd never spent the night in a hotel room with a woman before Mika. She started the tub filling, then took her girlfriend into her arms and kissed her until the wine arrived.

Knowing that their time in the whirlpool bath was going to be prodigious, Lauren had brought a bottle of the bath oil that Mika used. There was enough left for this one last bath. She prepared the tub while Mika poured the wine. Then they began to undress each other slowly, breaking when Lauren kissed Mika's newly-revealed nipples, and when Mika sucked Lauren's tongue, her hands curled around Lauren's breasts.

Mika feigned disappointment at the lack of a garter belt and stockings.

"Maybe you should get your own," Lauren suggested. "You could wear them under your suit when you shoot a wedding."

"Would you ever let me leave home in the morning if I did?" Mika asked.

"Oh yeah," Lauren responded. "Then I'd lie around all day imagining taking your clothes back off in the evening."

"Hmm. There might be some merit to that plan."

In the bath, Lauren tugged at Mika's hand until she moved to her, then turned her around and settled her in her lap. Their wine glasses and bottle rested beside them.

"I have an idea for you," said Lauren. "You can feel free to ignore it, but I think you might like it."

"What's that, love?" asked Mika.

"You want to use your resources to honor Nicole's memory, you said."

"Mm, yes," Mika replied, noncommittally.

"What about endowing a scholarship in her field?" Lauren said. "I did a little research before our trip. You give money to the university to invest, and they use the returns to fund a scholarship in her name. You specify the stipulations. Right now might be a perfect time for a scholarship to help gay or trans kids get ahead. Stipulate that it's for queer students in biotech, say, or biochem. You could endow more than one, for a different minority, or any minority. Help someone follow in Nicole's footsteps."

"I... think I like that idea," said Mika. "Let's talk about it when we get home. I'd like to see what you learned in your research."

"Alright, honey," said Lauren. She lowered her lips to Mika's neck, finding her pulse point and suckling. Mika shivered against her breasts.

"Am I going to need to wear a scarf again on Saturday?" Mika asked.

"Probably," Lauren admitted.

"Hmm, alright." Mika leaned further back, giving her easier access to her chin and throat. "I love the way your boobs are cushioning me here, but I wish I could touch them."

"I'm sure we'll have time for that," Lauren said, then drew her teeth over her girlfriend's neck. As she shivered, Lauren ran a hand down her side, then across her thigh to caress the soft fuzz of her pussy. Mika gasped softly in her lap.

Lauren's fingers explored slowly, before coming to rest on either side of her clit. She began to push them into her in a rhythm that Mika's hips soon picked up. She pushed back, until she was rocking against Lauren's hand.

Kissing her neck again, Lauren brought her other hand up to cup Mika's breast, toying with her nipple as she moved. Mika's soft moans excited her. She began to rock her own hips, pushing her lover harder against her hand. Mika's breathing deepened, soft groans accompanying each exhalation.

Mika's hand reached up and behind her to grab Lauren's hair, tugging her away from her neck, as she turned her head. She pressed her mouth to Lauren's, the kiss instantly becoming fiery. When she came she gasped into Lauren's mouth, the bathwater rippling as her body shook.

~~~~~

Much later, in bed, Mika nestled against Lauren's back. One hand was wrapped around Lauren, idly caressing her breast. Lauren was weary, but satisfied.

"Hey, Lauren?" Mika's voice was gentle, close to her ear.

"Yes, honey?" Lauren brought up a finger to stroke against the hand exploring her breast.

"I meant what I said about wanting to grow old with you," she said.

"I know, Mika," Lauren said. "I want the same."

"Then move in with me. I miss you when you're not home."

Home. The house she lived in had never felt like home. Not when her ex lived there, and not since. Certainly not since she'd been dating Mika. Mika felt like home. But...

"Moving in with my ex left me a little U-Haul-avoidant," she said. "Are you sure we're ready?"

"I'm ready to make a lot of changes," Mika said. "I'm going to reopen my workshop. I'm going to cut down on the business. We both know we want to build a life together. I think we're ready to do that. You couldn't live with your ex because of what you discovered about her..."

"Yeah, she was a slob," Lauren interjected.

"You know I'm not a slob," Mika said. "I don't think there's much about me that you don't know, and you know I'll tell you anything else. Is there really a risk to avoid?"

"When you put it like that, I guess not," Lauren replied. "And I missed you too when I was at my place. So yeah, I want that."

~~~~~

Lauren spent the weekend at Mika's, but returned to her house on Sunday to begin cataloguing what to move and how, and what to sell. Most of her furniture would have to go. Her lease was up in June, so she'd have to start disposing of the furniture soon.

By the weekend, she'd moved most of her clothes, considering herself officially moved on Saturday. The first day of growing old together.

She was partway through moving clothes into the closet space Mika had assigned her when she noticed that the spot where the sculpture had been was now empty. She hadn't seen it in a while, since Mika left a scarf covering it, but now the space was bare. The crystal ring holder, still with its rings, rested beside the gold-streaked heart.

Mika headed straight for the shower when she returned, giving Lauren a quick kiss. She didn't take long, emerging wearing her red robe a few minutes later.

"Mika, where's the bust?" Lauren asked.

"I'm looking right at it," Mika said, dropping her eyes from Lauren's face.

"No, you boob-obsessed Brit, where's your sculpture?"

"I knew what you meant," Mika retorted. She became serious. "I moved her to my studio. I'll see her every day, and my clients will, too. I think that's a respectful way of easing her out of our personal space. I have something I'd like to replace it with. If you agree."

She moved to a chest, and took a package out of a drawer. It was enfolded in tissue paper. She presented it to Lauren, two-handed. Lauren took it, carefully removing the paper. She assumed from the size and feel of the object that it was a photo, but it wasn't. It was a framed pencil drawing.

In the drawing, an incredibly lifelike Lauren had her hair up, wearing the hairpins Mika had given to her on their trip. Only the very top of the robe was visible, but the outline of a crane showed it was her blue robe. She'd never worn the robe with her hair like that, so clearly Mika hadn't drawn it from a photo. Pencil portrait Lauren wore a mischievous smile that Lauren did not recognize from the mirror.

"This is wonderful, Mika," she said. "You did this completely from observation? Do I ever look like that?"

Mika moved to stand beside her, studying the drawing before looking up into her face. "Indeed you do," she said. "Not right now. When we're joking around, or when you're undressing me with your eyes, yes. When I see you like that, I know I'm in for a smashing time. I'm sure no one else will make that connection." She frowned. "Mandy might?"

"Honey," Lauren said, "I've never felt about a woman the way I feel about you. I'm sure I've never looked at one the way I look at you. And it's over a decade since she and I were together. Whatever the look you've drawn me wearing, Mandy won't have seen it. You can safely hang it in the living room, if you want, but I think it would look great on the shelf."

Mika's smile was tender as she nodded toward the shelf. "Go ahead," she said.

Lauren set the picture frame down in the space. "Now I guess you will always be expecting a smashing? time."

"I always do, love." She stepped up to Lauren, who looked down at her affectionately, then took the belt of her robe and pulled it free.

Mika's robe drifted open as Lauren's lips met hers. A moment later, Lauren pushed it over her shoulders, hearing a soft swish as the silk glided to the floor. She stepped back, breaking the kiss, to observe the slenderly beautiful naked woman before her. Her heart surged with lust, but tempered by love. She wanted Mika, but she wanted always to have her. Now she knew that was their future.

"The first day of growing old together," she said, softly.

"Uh, what, love?" Mika queried.

"I'm officially moved in. This is the rest of our life," Lauren said.

Mika grinned. "If this is the official start of our life together, you are wearing far too many clothes."

"That's a problem you can fix," Lauren said. "I'm not going to stop you."

They kissed as Mika undressed her, then Mika stepped back to admire her handiwork, just as Lauren had done. "I would like to draw you nude sometime," she said. "Or paint, or photograph, or all of the above."

Lauren propelled her to the bed, pushing her down onto it. Mika moved up, then held out her arms to her. She moved onto Mika, threading her legs between Mika's thighs, pulling one of Mika's legs up so that she could fit their pussies together. Supporting her body above Mika's, she rocked her hips, grinding against her while barely moving her body.

Breath whooshed out of her girlfriend at the feeling. She lifted her hips to increase the friction, Lauren's sex sliding against hers, the wetness between them building.

Mika's hands came around her neck, pulling her head down. Lauren leaned forward as much as she could without losing the perfect contact of her pussy against Mika's. Her lips met her girlfriend's, and her breasts quivered as Mika's nipples pushed lightly into her.

Both women were making soft moans as their arousal built. Mika lifted her hips further, and Lauren found that she could lower her body more. Her breasts cushioned against Mika's chest, and their kiss grew ever more intense. The warm, wet feel of Mika's sex caressing her own was electric. She began to doubt that she could hold off her own climax until Mika was ready. Mika's hands slid down her back in a long caress.

Then Mika groaned, and her body began to rock beneath Lauren's. She was close. Lauren moved her hips further, her body now sliding against hers, her breasts rolling against Mika's chest. She felt the pressure of Mika's firm nipples dig into her soft flesh, and Mika's caresses became harsh as her fingernails dug into her back.

Mika gasped into the kiss, then her pussy slammed upward as she came. Lauren stopped trying to hold herself back. Within moments her own climax took her. She snuffled as she tried to maintain the kiss while her lungs needed air.

She collapsed onto her lover, whose body still twitched beneath her. Mika broke the kiss, touching her lips to Lauren's neck. "You do that so well," she said.

"We do, love," Lauren said. "And I think we're going to enjoy growing old together."