Keeping Out Those Dark Thoughts

Editor's note: this fictional work contains scenes of completely fictional incest or fictional incest content.

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Keeping Out Those Dark Thoughts

I.

My head was throbbing as I awoke in the darkness, sitting up in my bed and squinting to clear my blurred vision. I stared at the window blinds that bent and swirled slightly from my adjusting eyes. It was still pitch black outside. And boy, was I thirsty as shit.

I hobbled out of my room and towards the bathroom, stopping by to unload a fierce torrent of piss. I knew I had hit the mark from the splashing and gurgling sounds, which pierced the gentle blanket of silence draped over the entire apartment. I swore I heard a strange noise coming from my little brother's room. I made a mental note to investigate it after I went to the kitchen. Filling a glass of water and guzzling it down, I perked my ears and heard a hushed mewling emanate from his bedroom.

I stopped in front of his door and pressed my ear up against the hollowed wood material. He was groaning a bit, and it was occasionally interrupted by his ragged breaths as he gasped lightly for some air. My knuckles paused just before knocking on his door. My face reddened at the thought of walking in on him pleasuring himself.

I started renting this place about two years ago when I moved into the city after finding a job at the local sanitation department. It wasn't exactly the most interesting or gratifying work, but it was as good of a position as I could get with my public administration degree and it also payed pretty decently as well. Harper was living with our parents until he got accepted into a college near here. While he didn't seem happy about it at first--bemoaning the fact that he had to share a roof with his older brother--he relented to Mom and Dad's wishes and began staying in my apartment's spare bedroom to save money.

Harper was a rather shy person and kept mostly to himself, spending most of his time outside of classes in his room gaming online with a few of his friends from school. His face was sort of pale and soft, as was the rest of his somewhat chubby body. Harper wore these glasses with square, thick black frames and tied his brown hair up in a long ponytail. He had this classic nerdy look, but even as his brother, I had to admit that he was undeniably cute. While I had no knowledge on makeup or the like, I wondered if he also touched up his feminine facial features at times in the morning.

I wasn't sure if he was gay or something. I've never seen him talk with women in a non-friendly way or go on any dates. Hell, I wasn't sure if I was gay or not, though I watched my fair share of both gay and straight porn.

Now, the sounds were growing a little louder and much clearer. No, I really doubt he was touching himself in there. It sounded like Harper was sobbing quietly to himself in despair. My brotherly instincts kicked in and I knocked quickly prior to opening the door. I stepped into the pitch black room, and could barely discern a shaking mass under his bed covers from the faint light of the hallway nightlight.

"Hey...... Harper... are you ok?," I said gently, trying not to startle him.

I saw him wiggle and pop his head out from underneath the heavy blanket. His hair was messy and his eyes were puffy and glistening with tears. I sat next to him--the weight of my body sinking into his spongy mattress--and rubbed his back through the covers.

"What's wrong? Anything bothering you?...... You know you can tell me anything, right? I'm always here if you need someone to listen."

Harper looked pretty rough. His eyes were downcast and he stared at our lengthened shadows projected onto the carpet.

"It's--it's just that...," he said, halting mid sentence and retreating back inside his wooly den.

I wasn't going to stop now. He was in a tough spot and I can feel a real breakthrough ahead of us. I was going to support my little brother and make some real emotional progress with him. We were so close back then and I felt us drift apart when we became teenagers. Falling to my side and resting my head on top of his unused pillow, I snaked out an arm and lifted the covers to expose his face once more. He was all flustered and slammed his eyes shut as he threw the blanket down once more to hide himself.

"Fine," I said, accepting his self defense mechanism, "But can you at least speak to me through it?"

I waited in silence, sensing that he was choosing his words carefully.

"I--I... I can't help but think these dark thoughts at night when I'm all alone. It just really hurts...... I know my life is easy and all... but my heart just really fucking hurts and I don't know what to do about it," Harper whispered, his voice quivering.

Shit, what kind of deep stuff was bothering my brother and making him suffer this much? Had he been battling with depression? Or was he getting bullied at school? Was he struggling with his identity? I clenched my fists at whatever or whoever was hurting him, only loosening my grip so that I could cradle the back of his head and stare at him through the dense cloth. I needed to be a source of strength for him--a shoulder he could reliably lean on.

"I don't want to force you to tell me anything--and you know that I'm always here for you--still... maybe I can help you more if you explain to me what exactly is hurting you."

"I'm so alone, Lane. My body... my heart... they yearn for the touch of another. But I'm so fucking pathetic. I don't think anybody would ever want to be with me or find me attractive..."

I see. It's a love and self image type of issue. Honestly, I was at a loss for words since those were things that I didn't have much experience in. Sure, I worked out a lot and my friends and family always tell me that I'm good looking and should go hit the dating scene, but the thing was that I had never dated before either and had no idea where to start. I had never loved anyone romantically and I wasn't completely set on my sexuality.

I slid my hand down and squeezed the back of his neck, trying to reassure him while I conjured a response to his predicament.

"I totally understand those feelings. They... can be so hard to deal with," I affirmed, pausing for a moment to appreciate our synchronized breaths, which fortified each other in opposition to the looming hopelessness of our late night sorrows.

Continuing, I added, "I want to be there for you--to be your rock, like old times. I don't know what happened between us in the past, but I want to put it behind us, ok? Please... if there's anything I can do to help... you need to tell me."

"Sleep with me."

"What...," I said, hoping I misheard him and awaiting clarification.

Harper poked his head out and pouted at me, asking, "Can I sleep with you, like old times then?"

I wasn't sure if that was a good idea. We were adults now and the dynamic between us was undoubtedly, drastically different. I didn't want to admit it, but there was a sort of charged energy between him and I--Harper being so adorable and dependent and me being the stronger and masculine one. Did I just call him adorable? Well, when combined with my mounting exhaustion of having my sleep interrupted, his teary eyes and wetted cheeks made it impossible for me to deny his request. I had to accept if it was the only thing I could do to soothe him. I gave in, scooting closer to him and pulling the blanket over my body as well.

"No! What are you doing?," Harper suddenly yelped, sitting up and jumping out of the bed.

He wore an oversized black t-shirt and a pair of white and purple striped panties--which barely peeked out from below the dangling hem of his shirt and I recognized it from all the times I had to do laundry for us. His soft form wobbled as he got up, and I was hypnotized by the wiggling flesh of his supple hips. My already delirious mind was thoroughly confused.

"Isn't this what you wanted--"

"No! We're sleeping in your bed, dummy. It has to be yours," he insisted, cutting me off.

I was seriously too tired to ask questions at this point, so I languidly shuffled to my room and sensed his lighter footsteps trailing mine. I fell on top of my mattress as if I were a lazing starfish--my limbs outstretched and face turned towards the ceiling. Harper climbed in beside me and enveloped us in the warm sheets as his arms traced the contour of my chest and settled into its final position of being wrapped around my left arm. One of his legs moved over mine and ended up below my crotch, his plump thigh dragging across my left leg and pressing against it.

I hated to admit it, but the close contact of our contrasting bodies just felt so right. He was tender and I was firm. He was cushioned and delicate while I was rigid and unyielding. I could smell his strawberry shampoo and the subtle, natural scent of his smooth skin. It was soothing, yet invigorating at the same time as it fueled the fire in my burning groin. Even the simple sensation of his gentle breath blowing against the side of my bicep drove me mad in a manner I couldn't explain.

"You better not be perving out on me while I'm asleep...," he cooed, nestled up cozily and half awake.

I prayed that Harper wouldn't be able to feel my heart pounding through my chest. I've never fantasized or looked at him sexually in any way. But all of a sudden, he became the one desire of my life--the one person I wanted and truly cared about. Blood was rushing to my dick. I pitched a visible tent under the covers and I broke out into a cold sweat. Fuck, what if he saw my arousal and throbbing boner and was completely disgusted at what a lecherous older brother I was, lusting over his little brother during an innocent cuddle session? Would he cast me out of his life and tell our parents? I felt a sharp pang in my heart. It was a level of pain that was completely alien to me. If he left, who would take him in and watch over him? Would anything be able to replace the emptiness in me he would leave behind?

I looked to him nervously and was overwhelmed with relief, seeing that he was fast asleep and snoozing quietly into my side. I stared into the ceiling with weary eyes, realizing it was going to be a long night of unintentional teasing for me and that heading to work in the morning was going to suck. He shifted against me throughout the night and mumbled unintelligible words.

"No one else... only me, Lane," I thought I heard him mumble in his sleep.

A wetness seeped into the sleeve of my shirt. Harper was drooling all over me. Whereas any normal brother would have been disgusted, my wicked mind could only imagine the taste of his spit or the slickness of his saliva coating my straining cock. Then, without warning, a slight bulge jutted against my lower thigh. Did he just pop a boner too? I was half asleep at that point and didn't know if it was real. I wrapped an arm around his torso to hold him close and drifted off into slumber, content with my brother's happiness.

II.

The alarm on my phone rang noisily and I jolted like a solider who was awoken in the trenches by the heavy thuds of artillery fire. Strands of the yellowed, early morning radiance penetrated the window blinds and found their way into my direction. I wiped my crusty eyes and saw that it was already eight o'clock. Fuck me.

"Euunnnnnnn--nnnnnnnnnnnn, turn it off!," Harper complained, swiping his hand in the air and thrashing about, trying to go back to sleep.

I set my alarm off--sparing him--and put my phone in my pocket as I got up and out of bed.

"Lannnnneeee, don't leave. Stay with me...," he pleaded, his eyes still closed.

Harper was sleeping on his side and the bedsheets were tangled between his exposed, shapely legs. I trailed my eyesight along his succulent frame until I landed upon his pretty feet, whose arches were slender and toes were painted a pleasant, glossy shade of dark gray. I returned to his head and stared at the stray locks of hair that covered his rosy cheeks and fluttered lightly from his rhythmic exhalations.

He was just like his old self again, like when I would have to get up earlier in the morning than him for middle school as kids. He would complain when I would leave and throw a fit when our parents woke him up for school.

"You know I have to go...," I said, a distant look on my face after reminiscing about my youth, "You sleep a little longer, alright? I'll call you later when you have to get up for classes."

I knew that he should set his own alarms, and that any responsible adult should be capable of waking up on their own. But I secretly enjoyed his reliance on me. It reinforced my position as his protector. These small things made me feel like an older brother again.

I walked to the bathroom and felt something sticky on my leg. I pulled on my boxers and the fabric peeled off my thigh with a crumbly rip--the cloth having been stuck to my skin because of a crusty stain. What the hell? Did I have wet dream last night? It was highly unlikely given the positioning of the stain on the side of my boxers--far away from my dick--and the fact that I never got wet dreams to begin with. I checked inside my briefs and found the tip of my penis to be dry and unsullied.

There was no way... did Harper? I couldn't tell if it was intentional or not on his end but I suppressed the thought as my hardness stirred in my underwear and my stomach grew queasy. I shook my head profusely, shaking off the idea that my little brother had humped my leg while I was asleep until he blew his load. It made me so horny and uneasy that I lost track of time as I ogled the dried patch of cum in front of the mirror. Checking my watch, I realized I was going to run late at this rate, and so I hurriedly finished my routine and threw on my clothes before running out the door.

The day at work was long and unpleasant. I spent the entire time leading the sewer overflow response to a major sewage leak in southern sector of the city that had been plagued by blockages and outdated infrastructure. I got home late and ordered takeout on the way back. I talked with Harper about his graphic design courses and my work projects as we ate. Pretty soon, he retreated to his room to study, game, or whatever and I loafed around on the couch before it was getting kind of late and I got ready to hit the sack.

I flicked off the lights in my room and collapsed face first into the bed. I laid in the darkness for a while, mulling over the previous night's occurrences and nearly falling asleep. Sensing light enter the room from the hallway, I cracked my eyelids open--finding Harper standing in my doorway with his arms wrapped tightly around the pillow in his chest. He took a couple of small steps into the room until we could see each other more clearly. His hair was done up in a messy bun and he changed into a pair of skin-tight, light gray boy shorts alongside his usual black tee. I swore I could barely make out a small lump in the shorts from his small cock and balls.

"Can I sleep with you again?...... You know, to keep out the dark thoughts with your company?," he asked meekly, twiddling his thumbs in front of the pillow.

He didn't face me as he posed his question, looking into the corner of the room, but he glanced over at my eyes once I kept quiet for a short moment. I wasn't sure of what to tell him. Thinking back on his alluring frame and the "gift" he left behind for me during the night--which seemed to effortlessly flood my mind incessantly with gay, incestuous thoughts that ashamed me to no end--the same mix of arousal and unease made itself known inside me once more.

Harper wanted to sleep and cuddle with me because he needed love and affection. And for me to get so hot off of his body and his touch--I was sickened by the prospect of me, the older brother that he was supposed to trust and depend on, taking advantage of him while he was in a vulnerable state. I couldn't assume that he was also attracted to me. From my perspective, he would always be my innocent brother in spite of whatever may have transpired last night.

I considered myself a confident leader and had no problem whatsoever speaking publicly in front of my employees or large crowds of citizens. Yet, a large lump formed in my throat as I tried to croak out a response to his vexing request.

"We, um...... I think--it would be a bad idea for us to continue sharing the same bed."

Harper shot me a dirty look that I've never quite seen before on his face. His eyebrows twinged and his nostrils flared slightly upon hearing my denial. Was I suddenly scared of him? Why would I be scared of Harper?

"And why--would--it--be a bad idea?," he asked tersely, almost spitting out his last words.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead with my sweaty palm, pulling my hand further up and rustling it through my unkempt hair.

"It's probably best that we don't sleep together again. I mean... god... Harper, we're not kids anymore and you're my younger brother...... I mean, what would people think if they saw us? They'd probably think we were some weird perverts or that I was a crazy predator manipulating you......"

His heel thudded into the carpet as Harper stomped his foot in frustration. He rushed up to my bedside and stared me down as I propped myself up on my elbows against the wooden bed frame.

"Who cares about what other people think? It shouldn't fucking matter to them if I want to be with you within the privacy of our home. It's our house, and our lives. Plus, don't you try to tell me that you didn't enjoy it too," he said, his chest visibly rising and falling in agitation.

Maybe it wasn't as innocent as I had made it out to be. Cause the way Harper was talking about it, he made it sound like we were dating and living a secret life together or something. I desperately tried to squash the undeniable attraction I felt towards him that was blossoming in my heart. I was losing the internal struggle and it was so nauseating for me.

"Uh--we...," I sputtered, equally irritated by his persuasiveness and my own crumbling inhibitions, "We just can't sleep together. And that's that."

I led him out the door and shut it forcibly behind him. I slumped with my back against the door and buried my head into my knees. I didn't know what else I could do. I was compelled into picking between my brother's happiness and innocence. And with my moral and brotherly instincts kicking in, I couldn't do anything but to reject him. I could hear him stomp away and slam his door. I knew he felt hurt and betrayed, and the thought of him crying alone in aguish was absolutely agonizing.

III.

I was running late again for work the next morning since I didn't get much quality sleep and slept through the first few minutes of my ringing alarm. I hurriedly drank my coffee while buttoning up my light blue dress shirt and fastening the maroon tie. Stuffing my laptop and a number of documents into my leather briefcase, I closed my bedroom door and took two steps down the hallway prior to stopping by Harper's room.

"Harper?," I softly called out.

No response. He was either sleeping or still mad me--both probably being true. My knuckles hung in the air, though I decided against knocking on his door and I tried twisting his doorknob to watch him in his sleep and perhaps issue him an apology. No give. Harper had locked his door shut. He never locked his door since moving in with me. I knew I had seriously fucked up and did my best to forget it as I made my usual commute to the office.

I struggled to focus at work and my attention slipped each time I tried to think of a way to make it up to Harper. I told my boss I would be heading out early to meet some family, and he agreed in light of my perfect attendance and satisfactory performance on yesterday's sewage containment project. I wanted to be home earlier today so that I could spend some quality time with Harper and cook him up a nice dinner--his favorite, which was a hearty plate of mac and cheese, baked sweet potatoes, and some corn bread to finish it off. It was something our grandmother used to make us when we were younger. I never quite learned her cooking techniques, so I hoped that my online recipes and store-bought canned biscuits would suffice.

His door was still closed when I arrived home, though I could see the faint glow of his desk lamp escape from the gap underneath. Harper was quiet and I couldn't pick up any of his usual sporadic comments or keyboard clattering. Making my presence known, I tried to be as loud as possible taking off my leather shoes and dropping it together with my briefcase onto the hard wooden floor. I walked around the kitchen and began gathering all of the ingredients--noisily opening the refrigerator and oven doors but failing to draw him out of his room.

I certainly didn't always expect Harper to greet me everyday like an expectant housewife, granted I hoped that he'd at least acknowledge my early presence home today. The silent treatment stung. I could only press on, concentrating on my cooking and continually repressing my inner restlessness. After an hour or two, the food was done and I whipped him up a sizable platter, leaving it on top of a stool I placed outside his door.

"Harper?"

Still no response.

"Harp, uh... I'm...... really sorry about being so cold to you last night. I want to apologize for how much of an ass I was......... Do you think you can forgive your big brother?"

I could hear some hesitant movement from inside, but no verbal reply ever came. Waiting to no avail, I hung my head low in defeat and trudged back to the kitchen island. I ate in silence, absentmindedly shifting my gaze repeatedly between the empty seat beside me and the evening news playing on the TV in the living space. I guess my life was pretty fucking pathetic too without Harper. Is this what he truly meant the other night?

My appetite had vanished due to the soured mood, and I sluggishly collapsed into the sofa--melancholy clouding my expression as I fought back tears. My world was on pause, and every passing moment started unraveling like the thread of a forgotten sweater and stretching out into what felt like hours. I was getting desperate and didn't have much of a choice left. I was going to have to beg.

Approaching the hallway, I saw the empty plate left outside on the stool. At least he appeared to enjoy my food. Standing beside his door for seemingly the thousandth time, I rapped my knuckles on the accursed barrier and made my final plea, "Please... Harper, please can you let me in so we can talk?"

"..................... And why should I do that? Wouldn't it make us some 'crazy perverts' for us to be together in the same room? Huh?," he taunted, seething.

Bracing myself with both of my palms flattened against the door, I pushed my forehead into the painted wood, doing my best to collect myself.

"I don't want--... our relationship to go cold again. We were so close, and I could feel you drift away with each passing year when we got older. But then, you moved in with me and all of a sudden we got closer to each other all over again. But again, I managed to take you for granted and selfishly pushed you away when you tried to warm up to me. Although I thought it was the right choice then, I can see now that I was wrong. Completely and utterly wrong, Harper."

The floor vibrated by the tiniest amount as Harper stepped up to the door, and I could hear his hand wrap around the brass doorknob on the other side--causing it to rattle and clink faintly--though he hadn't yet started turning it. I was beyond thankful he was giving me a second chance, but I knew I had to keep up my sincerity and continue pouring out my heart, lest he shrink away last second in distrust because of my incompetence.

Adding on, I offered, "Whatever you want... I'll do it. I will do anything for you--anything to see that smile and look of content on your face. We can--sleep together and cuddle every night if you want to."

He opened the door. A massive weight was lifted off my shoulders and I let out a sigh of relief. I offered him a fragile, aching smile. Harper, however, avoided eye contact and climbed into his bed, holding his covers up and gesturing for me to get in. I jumped at the chance this time, joining him inside his fuzzy, toasty blanket and lying back onto the same pillow he was using--our shoulders touching and heads ever so close as I turned to glance at him. God, how was my brother this beautiful? He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and his pink, plump lips were slightly parted. We simply enjoyed each other's breaths for a few minutes in the room's darkness.

The atmosphere wasn't the same as before. There was undoubtedly a thick tension and awkwardness lingering in the air. I wasn't going to do anything just yet, and I was going to let Harper initiate and reciprocate whatever he steps he took first.

Breaking the silence, he said, "I don't think cuddles will quite do this time around."

"What?...," I whispered, praying he wasn't still mad at me.

"I'll forgive you....... if you kiss me."

My eyes bulged in disbelief. He... he really wanted this too? Harper was in love with me? I was reaching the point in my life where I genuinely believed love to be a hopeless ideal. I was tired of being stuck between the needs to please my parents, society, and myself. Their ropes dug deep into my skin and threatened to dismember my fragile sanity. There were good endings even for people like us?

With both of our heads lying on his pillow, we stretched our necks as our lips came into light contact. It was a quick and chaste kiss and we stared into each other after pulling away. Harper's hazel brown irises sparkled with some unknown sense of satisfaction and mischief. Abruptly, he maneuvered himself about under the covers and straddled my thighs--our crotches in intimate contact. That's when I noticed the high cut black thong he was wearing, which was previously obscured by the hem of his hoodie, whose sleeves were long and dangled from his arms. I swear I've never seen that pair in the laundry basket before. Its material was dangerously thin and almost mesh-like. The thong's thin waistband was pulled high and above the sides of his jiggly hips. My hands floated beside them as I fought back the urge to grab onto his pliant love handles.

"Do you like them? I would never wear this for anyone but you, big brother~. You can basically see my entire cock through it," he teased, giggling and grinding his throbbing member into mine.

"Uuuughhh," I grunted with my caveman mentality taking over.

I caved in and sunk my fingers into his supple flesh, holding him down against me. In response, Harper grabbed the sides of my face and smushed his parted lips into mine--shoving his tongue through the seal of my lips and coiling it around mine. His spit was so sweet and it carried the lingering tanginess of my homemade meal. Our tongues dueled in a fierce contest, though his earned a decisive victory, encircling mine and subduing it out of sheer ferocity. He panted into my mouth and we huffed through our noses and onto the skin above each of our upper lips.

After a while, Harper withdrew--biting my bottom lip and sitting upright. Strings of saliva connected our slobbered mouths and descended onto my wetted dress shirt. He moaned freely as he ground vigorously into my rock-hard pipe--his own cock so hard that its scarlet red tip peeked out from the waistband of his thong. His foreskin had peeled back on its own and his head oozed a viscous bead of clear precum. Harper must have been so turned on as well.

He dove into my neck like a starved vampire, licking the sweat and nipping my skin to the extent that I felt purpled bruises form. He was puppy in heat, marking me as his territory. Inevitably, his mouth found its way to mine once more. And as we french kissed--both of us indulging in our first experiences--I did my utmost to unbuckle my belt and shimmy out of my work pants with shaky hands.

Harper hesitated, watching me labor with a crooked grin. The weight of his body made it even harder to cast away those damned pants. My cock sprung free, released from its confinement as I accidentally took off my boxers too. It slapped lewdly against my stomach. Harper leaned in, smearing a line of his precum along my veiny length, making me shudder. Only the gusset's paper thin material separated our aching shafts now, and the frenulums of our tips kissed obscenely.

My little brother was having his way with me and my pride as an older brother wasn't going to let him get away with these transgressions scot-free. I gathered my senses, recalling his dirty secret--a topic I had painstakingly avoided until now.

"The other night, when we first cuddled...," I started.

Harper raised an eyebrow, his face flushed completely from our sloppy make out session.

"I woke up in the morning and couldn't help but notice a nasty cum stain on the side of my boxers."

"Yea?...... Had a dirty wet dream because of me, bro?," he jeered, evidently pleased with the rebuttal he had come up with on the go.

"SIDE of my boxers, Harp. Side. The same side you were cuddled up all nice and comfortably against. A side my dick obviously can't reach."

He was breathing even harder now. He had been caught redhanded. Our dicks were still and locked in embrace, save for the alternating pulses we exchanged. It was a gayest type of standoff you could have. I refused to break eye contact, doubling down and mounting the pressure on him. Harper averted my gaze like a flustered schoolgirl.

"Sooo?......," I asked, not letting up with my unplanned interrogation.

"OK...... FINE. I came all over your leg, happy? I mean, I really tried to clean it up but it was dark and difficult to see anything below the blanket. You......... it was just too much for me to handle--your muscled body...... the musk inside your room and coming from your bed......"

"It's ok, it's ok. Obviously I'm not mad...," I said, stopping him in the midst of his rambling.

I had to ask him now--before we were to go any further.

"Do you love me?"

"..."

I didn't appreciate his sudden silence. What was all this to him? What was I to him?

"Do you love me, more than a normal little brother is supposed to? Or am I just a plaything to you? And this is some sort of fling to get you by your loneliness until you find an actual boyfriend?"

"No... nooo, Lane--I--"

"No to what, exactly?," I insisted, my grip unintentionally tightening on his waist.

"I'm sorry if I was cold to you for so long...," he began, nervously stuttering, "But I didn't know how else I was supposed to deal with it. I've always had a crush on you......... And... I knew I had to break it, somehow, otherwise how could I ever be happy in life, seeing you run off someday with a random stranger? Being cold to you was the only way I could possibly shake it off. You think you were wrong? I'M the one who's wrong. Being apart from you only made it a million times worse. My heart ached for you every single day after you moved out. You--were all I thought about, all I fantasized about each time I jerked my little cock."

Holy fuck. Was I too dense to notice it? I kept quiet to myself and let him finish the confession.

"And then... came the day when I got accepted. I had a reason to be with you--and a perfectly normal one at that. Something that could please our parents while dispelling their growing suspicions during our childhoods. I'm--," he said, teardrops forming in his eyes as I fought away his hands and used mine to wipe away the tears, "just so thankful that you finally loved me too. Assuming you do, right?"

"Of course, Harp. I've been fucking obsessed with you."

"Good," he said, a radiant smile stretching across his face.

Harper yanked the waistline of his thong down and below his nut suck, exposing his entire penis and allowing him to frot our cocks together in earnest. It was so good and so right. His prick was hot as molten lava and it looked perfect pressed against my larger manhood. He stroked us together, mixing our juices and making us pant, which we shushed by resuming our sloppy kiss.

The bed frame was rocking steadily and clacking against the wall. Harper's blanket was quickly forgotten and shed from his undulating form. His hand was wobbling excessively and I knew he was getting tired from doing all the work and that he was jittery because of his anxious anticipation. I effortlessly replaced his and gripped our sheaths together, jerking them with my rougher, calloused palm.

"FUCK, Lane, fuck--fuck--fuck--fuck--fuck," he cried, tapping my thigh to warn me of his impending climax.

His cumshot spewed out, bursting in the air as some of the drops landed on my stomach and the remaining portion dribbled down the side of my dick, coating me in his love nectar. The sight of this sexy spectacle drove me wild. The air reeked of his pungent, woody aroma, which I savored with deep inhalations through my nostrils.

My cock shlicked and squelched while I beat it furiously using my little brother's cum as lube. My ears rung and my vision was blurred. Within seconds, I fired a massive load of my own--much of it dotting his black hoodie and pelting his softening rod with my barrage of sperm.

"That was fucking incredible...... We have to do this everyday from now on," I wheezed.

"Mmmmm, but we're only getting started, right?," Harper said seductively, turning himself around so that his head was facing my cock. Simultaneously, his bubble butt smothered the cum on my stomach as he sat down on my chest--pulling his thong to the side and presenting his winking chocolate starfish at me.

He licked me from the base of my cock to its tip, scooping away the remaining cocktail of our combined loads and swallowing it with a loud "ahhh." Then, Harper proceeded to take me into his mouth, suckling on my helmet with his tightened lips and flicking the tip of his tongue along my sensitized frenulum. He bobbled up and down eagerly, pushing my length further down his gullet each time until I eventually tapped the swinging head of his uvula--making him gag slightly.

I couldn't let him do all the work. And so I dove into his butt cheeks, which I parted using my hands, whose fingers sunk into the meat of his pillowy orbs. I ate his ass with a ravenous hunger, my tongue tracing circles around his hairless, wrinkled sphincter. I probed my tongue into his hole and sampled the salty and somewhat bitter flavor, trailing the walls of his contracting colon.

Following that, I snaked an arm around to seize his cock and tug it behind him and in my direction. I lurched forward to take his smaller shaft into my mouth. I just couldn't fucking resist the sight of his joystick, which resembled as a cuter, daintier version of my own. While his ass was certainly quite delectable, our cum was far sweeter and I thoroughly relished the aftertaste as I swallowed it during my continuous vacuum blowjob.

It was hardly a balanced sixty nine. Harper had trouble keeping up his end of the work, blubbering and whimpering from my oral assault with his jaw hanging agape above my knob. He stroked me lazily as I took his ball sacks into my mouth. The skin was velvety and kinda salty, and I massaged them between my tongue and the inside of my cheeks--trying to coax his sex glands into producing more sperm for me to monopolize later. I was in heaven, reveling in the meal I made out of my little brother. Letting his slutty boy spheres go with an audible pop, I milked his little shaft with my hands in a twisting and turning helical blur.

"Haaaaaah, aaaueennnh, ffuuu--aaaahk," he panted, "It's--... too much. Aueeennn, Lane, slow down. Pleeeaaase. I'm so sensitive right now."

I guess I wasn't being fair to him, given that we were both in our hyper-sensitized recovery periods. Opting to give him a break, I reluctantly abandoned his fun sized baton, which bobbed and quivered--dangling in front of my eyes like a red flag to a bull. I took this opportunity to revisit his neglected anus. I shoved the tip of my nose into it, snorting in his wonderful male musk. I gathered the spit in my mouth and lathered it around and into his opening. He was so incredibly tight and I hoped I could sufficiently loosen and lube him up.

"My--my nightstand, get the lube in there," Harper mumbled in a hot mess.

"Are you a virgin, Harp?," I asked, reaching to the nightstand at the right of his bed.

"Of--of... of course, you block head! I was saving myself for you. Not like anyone else would want me...... YOU--you... this better be your first time too."

I pulled the top drawer open, fumbling inside and feeling around for a small bottle.

"Yea, I've had no luck either. Hey--... what is...," I blurted, grabbing ahold of a long object and extracting it to reveal a pink, silicon dildo.

"PUT THAT BACK. Oh my god...... Uh, whatever, I guess it doesn't matter if you see it now..."

I gawped at it, stunned that I had accidentally uncovered Harper's secret toy. It was thick, veiny, and about the same length as me. I felt an odd sense of excitement and relief at the fact that I wasn't outcompeted by some piece of plastic. Harper crawled his way back and tried to take it from my hand. I held it high in the air where he couldn't reach and he helplessly clawed at it like a wild raccoon.

"PUT IT BACK, I need you to fuck my ass RIGHT NOW you fucking dumbass!," he yelled with his face as a red as an heirloom tomato.

I was taking my sweet time savoring his embarrassment and verbal abuse. I tossed the dildo back into the drawer, causing it to flop like a floundering fish on impact. The sun was setting fast outside, and an orange-purple beam of the dying sunlight reflected off the surface of a tiny, clear container. I picked up the bottle--popping open its cap and drizzling the slimy liquid over my meat and glazing it in the preparatory condiment. Harper tracked my every movement all the while. He stared in anticipation--antsy and jumpy--waiting with bated breath. Hopefully this moment was culminating in the way he wanted it to. I supposed I should ask him that question now.

"So uh... how should I put it in?," I asked.

"Here," he squeaked, shoving me to get aside as he laid flat on top of the mattress with his cute tummy and cock facing me.

I mindlessly squished his stomach near his adorable belly button, which I gave a long lick after tracing upwards from his dick. Apparently still self-conscious about his body, Harper slapped my hand away and forced me back with a single pointer finger jammed into my forehead.

"Stop fucking around...... here, maybe I should cover it up," he said, reaching for the hem of his hoodie.

"Don't you dare cover your sexy body. I want to see it jiggle as I fuck your boy pussy raw."

I was really getting into it and wasn't going to let Harper put himself down and ruin the view I had of his immaculate curves. He blushed profusely, spreading himself as I assumed my position between his legs.

"So, you want missionary?," I checked with him, pushing my tip to his forbidden exit--preparing to selfishly repurpose it into my tailor-made entrance and cock sleeve.

"Yeah, duh... how else am I supposed to see you..."

He gripped the back of my neck and I felt it tighten alongside his legs that crossed behind my back as I penetrated him--occurring at an agonizing half an inch per second pace in order for him to adjust to my intruding length. I stopped for an instant after I was fully inside of him.

"Sooo fucking big, big--big brother....... ohhh god, it's so hot inside of me," he wailed, experiencing that intoxicating blend of a warm, mild burning pain and a slowly ramping pleasure unknown to most men.

I began sliding back and forth in earnest, feeling the ribbed walls of his sigmoid colon wriggling around me and accommodating my rhythmic intrusion. I pressed a palm into his lower stomach and persistently thrusted forward and somewhat up, aiming for his prostate--tapping it and overwhelming its sensory neurons with my cock head's assault. His fat cheeks trembled and quaked from the weight of my body crashing into his. I held his legs back with firm grips around his ankles and fucked his helpless hole senseless, my balls clapping loudly against him.

"UUueeenn, uuuueeehhh, haaaaeeeeeh, hhuuuuuueeea, uuuueeegh" he moaned with each thrust.

His toes curled and the creases forming on his soles hardened even more. It was clear evidence of the intense pounding he received in complete satisfaction. I cradled his dicklet between my fingers and stroked it lightly in sync with my slamming hips--doubling the pressure on his prostate and making him lose it. My other hand explored underneath his hoodie until my fingertips latched around one of his hardened nipples. I took turns rolling and pinching both of them as I skillfully worked all the buttons and levers on the complex machine that was my little brother's body.

"I love you so much, Lane, I love you--I love you--I love you...," he cried, climbing towards that coveted second climax.

"Fuuuucccck, I think I'm close too," I groaned.

"Cum for me right now. Cum on your big brother's cock."

I ordered him around even as my voice wavered, my own prick on the brim of pouring its thick baby batter into the depths of Harper's guts. His muscled ring strangled me with its vice grip as he came--pulsing and clinching the base of my shaft sporadically and squeezing all the blood in its veins up to my engorged tip. Harper's second load was understandably smaller, and it was less forceful and leaked from his urethra in a cloudy rivulet. It pooled around his stomach, rippling from his wiggling abdomen and sliding into the hole of his belly button.

"Give it to me--give it to me, give it--give it... Breed me, Lane, make as your's. Pump your hot cum in me--AHHH FUCKK--"

He wrapped both of his arms around me while I humped my cock deep inside--going balls-deep and bottoming out. Our faces were only inches apart, and he watched my expression contort and jaw slacken. I pushed into his supple cheeks, my skin already in contact with his and compressing our flesh together. I unearthed a depth of his love channel that laid unclaimed and previously unexplored by any mere toy. My dick was the spelunker who first set foot into the unlit expanse of a spectacular limestone cavern--waving its torch around and sighing at the majesty of the natural wonder that was Harper's anus. My cumshots were so hard that they hurt. The gooey paste flew out in a hurry and painted his intestinal lining white.

"Haaaaaaahh," I huffed, gradually unsheathing my rod from his sphincter that was reluctant to let me go, "haaaaaghh... I--love you, Harp...... So fucking tight......"

The suction was still immense and I came out with a plop, some of my jizz running down his crack and onto the bed sheets. The room absolutely stunk of sex--the dank odor reminiscent of a sodden forest floor after a heavy rainstorm. I collapsed onto Harper's chest, kissing his chin and not worrying about the mess we made. I lowered my eyelids and rested in his embrace.

Looking down at me, he said, "You're my boyfriend now, you--you understand? So no more sleeping alone......... and definitely no messing around with any girls or other guys..."

He ran his fingers through my hair and gently massaged my scalp, murmuring, "...... well... I wouldn't suspect you of all people to do that anyways. But don't think that means you can just get away with anything. We'll be in each other's care moving forward."

IV.

My eyes snapped open in a flash. Recollecting my memories of the previous night, I saw Harper cuddled against me with his blanket draped over us. I didn't feel grimy at all. He must of cleaned me after I fell asleep. I was oddly well rested and energized, and I pawed around for my phone--looking to check the time. Fuck, I must have left it in the kitchen. Shit, did I miss my alarm?

I reached across Harper to grab his phone on the other side of the bed. Tapping the screen, I first noticed the background photo he had set as his wallpaper. It was a cheesy picture of us from when I took him out for dinner on his nineteenth birthday and we stopped by a photo booth at the mall. I didn't know that he treasured our closeness this much in the past. Then I glanced up at the time and realized it was already five minutes to nine.

"Damn!," I said a little too loudly in a whispered shout.

"Uueeeeeeh, what are you doing?," Harper asked groggily, a tad cranky from his rude awakening.

"Harp, can I use your phone to make a work call? It's urgent and I forgot my phone outside."

"Uhhhhhh, can't you skip work today and just be with me? Hmmph," he said in a pout, "--popping my precious cherry and ditching me immediately as if nothing ever happened."

"Oh, come on, who else is gonna pay the bills? You want to go back and live with Mom and Dad?"

"Fine, fine. Make your call..."

It's not like I wanted to go to work either. I never had an issue with going, but now that Harper had come in and taken a sizable chunk of my heart, I suddenly became unwilling to leave him and his body warmth. I dialed the number to my boss's work phone and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello, this is Richard ______ speaking. Who is this?"

"Hey, Rich. It's Lane. I just wanted to let you know that--," I said, pausing as Harper moved under the blanket and fondled my morning wood through my boxer shorts.

"--I might be coming in late today. I should be there by eleven, if that's alright? I promise I'll make it up to you... I can work overtime tomorrow and finish reviewing and auditing all the invoices we got yesterday on the truck leasing and maintenance."

I could hear him chuckling over the phone. What was so funny about what I said?

"Oh, Lane. What can I say? I'm glad you've finally gone and found yourself a good woman," my boss said jokingly.

"What do you mean?," I questioned, partly distracted by Harper, who had fished my cock out and drizzled a thick, long strand of his drool onto it--lubricating my pole and polishing it in complete concentration, applying all the techniques that he'd probably used whenever he masturbated on his own. I mouthed at him to quit it. He stuck his tongue out at me in blatant defiance.

"You've been showing up frazzled, getting distracted, leaving early, and now you're asking to come in late. All of this from my best administrative associate on the job. It's obvious to me that you're having some relationship issues and--what--probably figuring it all out now?"

My boss was clearly implying at the end there that he figured I had gotten lucky. I wasn't exactly lucky at the moment, as I had to cover my mouth and bite down on the side of my hand to suppress a moan. Harper was jerking the shit out of me as if I was a dairy cow, rubbing circles around my crown with one hand and using the other to switch between giving attention to my swollen shaft and massaging my nut sack.

"... Yea--yea, I suppose. Something like that..."

"Boy, you sound like a brand new man, Lane," my boss said, laughing and adding in a mock chiding tone, "But I better see you on time tomorrow."

Harper bundled his hair up behind his head and fastened it with a large, beige hair clip from his nightstand. He dipped his head down suckled me into his mouth, jostling my tip against the inside of his cheek and making it swell into that of an eating chipmunk. He bobbed up and down my length, slurping noisily and I was afraid that even his phone's microphone would pick it up.

"... Yes--sir, won't ha--happen again...," I said, stumbling over my words.

"Oho--ok, I'll catch you later, then. Bye--"

And with that, he ended the call.

"You're such a greedy boy, aren't you?"

"Wuuuees, wuues wwiiigh wwwuuwweerrgh."

Harper spoke incoherently on account of my fat sausage stuffed in his maw. Every muscle on my body strained when I came--clenching the bed sheets and balling it inside my fists as I ejaculated straight into the back of his throat. He let it accumulate in there and swallowed my seed all at once, stretching his mouth wide open to prove that he didn't allow a single drop of it to go to waste.

"My turn now!," Harper yipped excitedly, laying back and pulling his thong to the side. He wiggled his cock between two of his fingers, luring me to his bait.

"Ok... but we'd better make it quick. I can't be late for being late."