Sleeing with the Intern Pt. 03

Chapter 21

The way Cash came at me, pinning me against he fridge, it appeared he'd been waiting for this moment. He kissed me hard and grabbed me by the hips. The little sexy number I picked out for him seemed to drive him wild. His fingers slipped beneath the elastic edges around my hips and slid lower, toward my groin.

"So you wanted me, huh?" he growled, then nipped at my lip. His kisses trailed down my neck and his teeth scraped along my collarbone.

"God yes. It's been too long." I panted and moaned softly. His fingers found their way inside the lace of my panties, teasing and stroking me beneath the thin material.

"Too long without a taste of this?" He smiled against my skin and I nodded, arching into him.

"Yes."

With one hand he reached around me, searching my back greedily. I sucked in a sharp breath as he unclipped the negligee and pushed it down my arms, his hands moving over my naked back in slow, sensual sweeps. His mouth searched me, his lips hot against my skin, sucking, moving lower toward my nipples.

"I like the teddy," he growled against my breast before taking my nipple into his mouth.

"Mmm," I moaned in agreement. "But I like you more."

He chuckled low, his breath warm against my breast, and his tongue flicked out to tease the now hardened bud. The feeling sent shockwaves of pleasure throughout my body. His other hand found its way back to my core, slipping a finger inside me while the other pinched and played with my other nipple.

"Your taste..." he whispered hoarsely. "I could drink you from a cup."

I couldn't help but laugh at that, and he smiled wickedly against my skin.

"I hope you like cherry flavor then," I teased back. He laughed this time, a deep, throaty sound.

"More like strawberry," he murmured before kissing his way lower, down my belly and across my hip. His breath was hot and his lips made trails of fire as he went, and goosebumps rose on my skin in anticipation. He nibbled at the fabric of the crotch of the negligee now, tugging it gently down my legs. My breath hitched as he finally exposed me completely, his eyes meeting mine as he tossed the lacy piece away.

"Beautiful," he whispered, a soft puff of air against my sex. His finger moved in and out of me, stroking my g-spot slowly. I let out a soft moan, feeling the heat building inside of me. He leaned in, his tongue tracing the rim of my entrance teasingly.

"Cash," I breathed out, biting my lip. "Please."

He smiled up at me, his eyes bright with desire and he dived in, taking me in with one long lick that made me gasp and cling to him. His tongue worked in tandem with his finger inside of me as he teased and played, his other hand massaging my clit. I felt a wave of pleasure wash over me as he licked and sucked, my walls clenching around his digit. His free hand grasped my butt cheek possessively, pulling me closer as he pushed his finger deeper inside of me. I cried out softly and my legs trembled beneath me.

"Fuck," I whispered, arching into him. "You're amazing."

He pulled back from my core, smirking up at me. "I know I am," he chuckled huskily.

I grabbed his head and urged him to continue, needing more. His tongue teased me mercilessly before delving in once again, his tongue rubbing my clit in a rhythm that matched his movements inside of me. My breathing became ragged and my legs shook, my walls pulsing around his finger as he slid another in. I gripped onto his hair and held on tight as another wave of pleasure washed over me. My body shuddered as I came, his name tumbling from my lips in a moan. He groaned as I trembled and shook, using him for balance.

"Oh god," I grunted, pushing against his head to straighten as the orgasm passed.

His mouth found my neck again, suckling and nibbling gently as he stood up, bringing us chest to chest. His hardness strained against his pants, and he looked down at me hungrily. "I want you so bad," he growled before reaching down to undo his jeans. I helped, tearing at the buttons on his shirt until I had it open. His chest bared to me, I dived in, lavishing his skin in kisses.

He lifted me in his arms without breaking eye contact and laid me gently on the kitchen countertop, our mouths fusing again. He kissed me hard, demanding, as he pushed into me, filling me completely.

"Cash," I whimpered around his lips. "Oh god."

His hips moved slowly at first, possessively, as if he owned me. "That all you got for me?" he teased as he began to move in small circles inside me.

"No," I breathed out, trying to catch my breath. "There's more."

He smiled against my skin and began to move faster, his hips meeting mine in a rhythm that felt so natural. Like we'd been lovers for years and he knew every inch of my body. I gripped onto his shoulders, nails digging in as I met him stroke for stroke. It felt so good, so right.

"Don't stop," I chanted, unable to form a full sentence. My body aching for more as he took me hard and fast, his skin against my chest feeling like silk. The kitchen cabinets rattled with our movements, the fridge humming loudly in the background. His moans echoed in my ear, his breath hot against my neck.

"I didn't bring a condom," he growled, and I whimpered. I let him continue pumping into me for a moment trying to make my mind work. It wasn't my fertile time so it would be okay. Right?

"It's okay.... I think." My mind raced. I didn't want him to blow in me, but I didn't want to ruin the moment either.

"You have other holes." His tone of voice was naughty, dark and rumbling up from his chest.

"God, it's okay, Cash..." I kissed him to stop the chatter. I wanted to come again and my body was close, but he would ruin it if he kept talking. The taste of him filled my mouth and I moaned into the kiss, holding onto him as he fucked me faster and harder against the countertop. It was hot and dirty, and I never wanted it to stop.

My pussy gripped him tightly and my walls clenched around him, pleasuring us both, and I felt my orgasm build again. It crashed over me in a wave. "Cash!" I screamed, throwing my head back. My legs shook and my hands found purchase on the countertop to keep myself grounded. His thrusts got faster, his fingers gripping me tighter as my body convulsed. It was incredible the second time, better than the first, and I when it was passed, I lay limp on the counter as he pulled out, gripping the end of his cock as it pulsed.

He grunted, and twitched, leaning on the counter as he filled his palm with cum. "Damn," he breathed, wiping the countertop clean with his free hand. He turned to the sink behind himself and washed his hand, then turned back. "Fucking. Worth. It." He pulled me into his chest, kissing my forehead as I melted into him, wrapping my arms around him.

Cash only stayed there for a second, then pulled away, taking me by the wrists and helping me off the counter. It was still smeared with our sex, but I couldn't stay there. He picked up my teddy and handed it to me.

"You dropped this, I think."

I plucked it from where it dangled on his fingertip and grinned. "Thank you." I tried to lean in and kiss him, but he covered his mouth.

"Might want to wash my face now..." He backed away, picking up his clothes. "I'll get dressed." I was confused. He had just kissed me while he fucked me, and now he was self-conscious about his facing being coated in my body fluid?

I trailed behind him as he walked toward my bedroom, having not been hear enough times to know there was a powder room right around the corner. He locked himself in the bathroom and I took my robe from the hook on the back side of the bedroom door and put it on. I tossed the teddy into the hamper and walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed. I heard water running and then rustling around. When he came out he looked fresher.

"Hey, do you want to grab dinner or something?" My heart was hopeful, considering I was taking a huge risk even doing this with him. He'd pressured me for weeks, and since I caved in and agreed to try this thing out, he acted a little less certain. Though tonight's booty call was going well for the most part.

"Ah, Liv's making dinner. They're having one of my favorites. I think she's expecting me." Cash ran a hand through his hair and offered an apologetic expression. "Sorry."

I felt a little miffed about the rejection but an idea came to mind, so I stood and walked over to him and hooked a finger through one of his belt loops. "What if I go with you? You're always talking about your nephew and your sister. I'd love to meet your family. We've had this relationship a while and I haven't even been to your place."

He seemed to stiffen a little, squaring his shoulders. Even his jaw looked like it tensed, like he was grinding his teeth silently. "Yeah, I'm not sure it's a great idea to introduce you to my family this close to the holidays. You know?" His face contorted in skepticism and he backed away, taking my hand from his belt loop and holding it briefly before letting it drop.

We stood face to face a few feet apart, but it felt like miles. And despite the incredible sex, the distance between us made me feel like something was wrong. I didn't think I'd done anything wrong. I thought calling him to come over would make him happy. And I understood not meeting his family during the holidays; that was a lot, but it still felt like things weren't progressing the way they should be.

"I just thought... I mean, I know we can't go out in public, so this isn't a normal relationship, but I'd like to try to make it as normal as possible." I stepped closer again and took his hand again, forcing his fingers apart so I could weave mine through them. "Annalise is coming between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I thought we could hang out again."

Cash's had felt like a limp noodle in my grasp but I wasn't giving up. Maybe he'd just had a rough day and didn't know how to talk about it. I'd heard that ex-servicemen sometimes had a tough time getting in touch with deep emotions after their training to be good soldiers. I was certain, though, with a little time and care the same bright, open-hearted doctor I saw every day at work would be able to develop deeper intimacy in this relationship.

"Yeah, sure..." He nodded and took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought he was upset with me.

"Is everything okay?" I crossed my arms over my chest and tried not to let my frustration show through.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" He smiled and pushed a hair out of my eyes.

"I don't know. Just a weird feeling.... Maybe your sister will save you a plate. You can stay the night if you want." My weak smile didn't seem to faze him at all, though I didn't figure it would. Something was off about him tonight.

"I promised Leo I'd teach him more wrestling moves." He pecked me on the cheek. "Raincheck," he said, winking. Then he smacked my butt and headed out of the bedroom, and I followed him back toward the front door. He kissed me goodbye and I stood in the open doorway watching his Jeep pull out of my driveway.

Disappointment weighed on me and I felt like calling Annalise to vent, but I didn't want to hear her tell me difficult things. I locked the front door and sulked back to the bedroom and climbed in bed. Cash had pushed so hard for this, so why was he being aloof now?

Chapter 22

The grand ballroom at the Hilton was packed with tables decorated with white tablecloths and poinsettias as centerpieces. Doctors, nurses, and administrators had gathered for the hospital's holiday party, which I learned used to be hosted before Christmas, but this year was moved to January. I followed Piper around at her behest, but it kept me from being mauled by Kira, whose eyes seemed to follow me everywhere we went.

I'd managed to navigate the entire holiday season with Piper, though we were both so busy there wasn't even time to think about a next step to a relationship. Winter hit early, leaving roads icy and the ER full of patients brought in after accidents. We pulled doubles two weeks in a row, then had a few days off for Christmas, at which point both of us had family obligations.

And for the past six weeks we had both been nothing more than professional at all times in the workplace. I thought the arrangement was working out quite well, though her eyes did sparkle when she looked at me, and any intuitive person would see she had feelings for me. Feelings I found myself beginning to reciprocate, which I was repressing as much as I could. I knew how it would end, and I didn't want that. Why screw up a good things with feelings?

She led me up to a group of suits--doctors who had long since been finished practicing medicine and had moved on to administration. They stood with their champagne flutes, talking and smiling as if they were old country club buddies as we approached.

"Dr. Wexler, it's so nice to see you here," she said, reaching for one of the older men's hands.

"Dr. Ellis, it's my pleasure. You remember Dr. Grant." He nodded at the man beside him and they both smiled.

"I do." She shook the other man's hand too, and I stood waiting for an introduction. It was obvious they knew each other from past interactions; maybe they were her bosses at one point. She turned and gestured at me. "This is Dr. Keller, then one you've been hearing all the good things about."

I reached out and Dr. Wexler shook my hand then Grant. "Nice to meet you both," I told them, and they seemed happily surprised.

"So he's the new rockstar?" Grant asked, eyebrows rising to meet his bangs. "You've been making waves, I hear. It's a shame they don't let you transfer all that experience over to residency. We could use a skilled trauma lead here, and we have to wait the full residency time period. Someone needs to change that."

"I agree," said Wexler, nodding. "It's a shame our servicemen aren't given the credit due. Son, your outstanding performance is saving lives."

I'd had my share of taking praise from superiors in my life and it always felt good, but never as good as when Piper offered it.

"You are both very correct. Dr. Keller came to us at a higher skill level than even myself and has made huge contributions to our team and even to me personally. I'm honored and humbled that he is a part of our trauma team." Her eyes shone like the sun, and I swore Grant noticed how she looked at me.

"Well, that's very high praise coming from your chief resident, Dr. Keller. You must be more talented than we have heard." Grant looked down his nose at me and shook my hand again. "I'm glad you're a part of our team too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to top off my drink."

"I'm sure we'll cross paths again someday," Wexler said, joining Dr. Grant.

"Nice to meet you two..." I waved as they walked away and Piper grinned at me.

"Those two men are the ones you want on your side. They're the ones who get stuff done here." She nodded at the double doors leading to the hallway. "I'm going to go use the ladies room. I'll be right back."

"I'll be here."

Piper walked away and left me in the middle of the room by myself, so I headed toward the table where champagne flutes were filled to the brim and finger sandwiches were stacked high. But before I even got there, Kira was on me like a moth to a flame. In this non-work setting, she was incorrigible, even though I'd made it clear to her on so many occasions I was not interested. She wasn't my type.

"Dr. Keller, you look handsome tonight." The thick black mascara on her eyelashes made them look longer than normal, but I'd expect nothing less from her, given the slinky dress she wore.

My suit, an old thing I had from my pre-military days that still fit, wasn't exactly the picture of elegance, but I wasn't going to wear my dress blues for this. I got enough attention around here for my service without flaunting it.

"Thank you, Kira. I'm just on my way to get some hors d'oeuvres." I tried to avoid touching her, but she wrapped her arms around my bicep and giggled salaciously.

"I'll join you." Judging by her overly friendly demeanor and the thick hint of fruity alcohol on her breath, she had already indulged tonight. "What do you think about going for coffee when this thing is over? My treat."

We reached the drinks and I picked one up, downing it immediately before turning to her. I didn't want to be rude--that wasn't my personality at all. I just felt like she was trying my patience so much I might snap.

"Kira, we work together, and I think you're a highly intelligent woman, but I am not interested." I set the glass back on the table and it was quickly whisked away to be washed and later refilled.

"You keep resisting me. Are you seeing someone?" Her eyelashes batted at me again and I felt myself growing tense at the question.

"It's complicated." I knew if I didn't walk away I was going to be the man I never wanted to be, only because she refused to take no for an answer. Most women got the point after five or six times. "I've got to use the toilet," I told her and then walked away without another word.

In the hallway, I headed toward the restroom where I saw Piper exiting the women's restroom. She looked up at me and her expression darkened.

"What's wrong?" she asked, stopping in front of me.

"Oh, it's Kira. She just won't leave me alone. She's been hitting on me since day one and I made it clear several times that I'm not interested. She just isn't taking no for an answer." I hadn't come out and told Piper what was going on because I wasn't a nark. Eventually I thought Kira would leave me alone and I'd be able to just do my job, but she still hadn't.

"Maybe you need another tattoo, but this one on your forehead. A giant sign that says 'taken.'" Piper snickered and hooked her pinky through mine, grinning at me. It was an extremely unusual show of affection for her in such a public setting it shocked me. I pulled my hand away and glanced up the hallway, but we were alone. Her cheeks burned a bright pink, and she mumbled. "Sorry. I shouldn't have done that here."

"Yeah, not so safe," I told her, taking a step backward. Her career was on the line, though momentarily she acted like she'd forgotten that.

"We should go back in there." She gestured at the double doors and I scowled. Back in there was where Kira was, and I didn't want to be labeled as the person who hung around all the bosses, even though it was purely to avoid Kira. I also didn't want Piper to make a fuss about it and wind up pissing Kira off either.

"Sure..." I followed Piper back into the ballroom and thought about how incredible she was. She was able to take that sour mood Kira put me in and make it vanish with just a smile. I was falling in love with her so hard it hurt--because there was only one way things would go and it wasn't good. Neither of us had time for a relationship with our careers they way they were, besides the fact that she was my boss and it was against hospital policy.

Back in the ballroom Piper spoke to me over her shoulder, telling me there was someone else I should meet, and I saw Kira standing not too far from the door, glaring at me. Either she finally got the point, or something was wrong. I didn't care. At least she wasn't flirting anymore.

Chapter 23

I climbed into the large massage chair with bare feet ready to finish off the day of total makeover. Annalise sat next to me, feet submerged in the hot water. After having my hair cut and highlighted, we did manicures and full facials. These pedicures would top off the day and then we'd be out on the town for one very fun girls' night out.

"I can't believe how good my hair looks with highlights. Why have I never been the girly girl?"

Annalise snorted and rolled her eyes at me. "Because you've always had your nose in a textbook. Doctors can be hot too, you know." Her snort-laughter continued while I scowled at her.

"Pretty people can be smart too, brat." I swatted at her as the nail technician sat down at my feet and directed me to put them into the water to soak.

"So it's gotten serious enough you're going to ask him to be exclusive?" she asked, letting her nail technician maneuver her legs to get them in proper position. They continued to work while we chatted, and I turned on the massage chair to heighten the relaxation as the stupid grin stretched over my face.

"Well, I'm pretty sure we already are exclusive, but we haven't labeled anything. I guess I want the label now." I shrugged and rested my head on the vibrating headrest, feeling the pulses of energy already loosening my tense muscles. After months of back and forth with Cash--sneaking around for sex, random booty calls, and every so often a surprise coffee before work--I felt like we needed to take the next step.

"Has he asked you to go out on Valentine's Day?" Annalise moaned softly as the person giving her the pedicure began massaging warm oil into her bare feet.

"No, but I feel like he will. We've only been at this like three months or something, so I feel like it's a given." The thought occurred to me briefly that he might not ask me, given my hard and fast rule that we keep things private. We hadn't gone out to dinner anywhere, though he'd brought takeout to my place a few times.

"Hmm, well I think it's the right move. Guys like Cash need a nudge the right direction." She laid her head back and closed her eyes and I thought about what she said for a second.

"Guys like Cash? What do you mean?"

"You know," she said, gesturing with her hand, "the kind who are so hot they know they're hot and girls flock to them. They are great for booty calls but commitment comes hard for them. And he's ex-military too."

I chewed the inside of my cheek thinking about all of our interactions and how I said the word relationship Cash seemed to get tense or cross even. I didn't tell Annalise, but nervous energy stirred in my guy now. "Yeah, I know," I mumbled, resting my head back again and matching her closed-eye pose. Cash wasn't one of "those guys" though, was he?

I tried to put it out of my head and enjoy the rest of the pedicure, complete with gel polish, though in February no one would be seeing these toes except Cash. We paid and headed back to my place where we gussied ourselves up in fancy dresses--this time with reasonable black flats, not heels--and headed to the club.

With Cash's work schedule I knew he wouldn't be bartending tonight, but that didn't stop his brother-in-law from whistling and cat-calling in my direction. I knew he was happily married and only picking on me because of my association with Cash. It was obvious he knew something, though I had no clue how much Cash had told him.

Annalise and I ordered drinks and Ace made them for us. I didn't set out to pick up guys, but I didn't turn away free drinks or dance invitations. We really cut loose, too, dancing and living it up, and when my feet started to hurt, I sat at the bar and caught my breath while I watched Annalise party on as if she were made of pure energy.

I raised my empty cup at Ace and he nodded at me, but before he even turned to make my new drink, a cute older guy approached me. He was probably pushing forty, silver hairs peppering his dark beard, but he was handsome and he had kind eyes. He also carried a drink in each hand--a beer and some pink-red concoction that looked especially fruity and sugary.

"Mind if I sit here?" he asked, nodding at the empty stool next to me.

"No one's sitting there," I blurted out, then suddenly felt like an idiot. All the time I'd spent with Cash and I was still just as awkward.

The an chuckled and sat down facing me. He put the drink on the bar and held his beer cup in hand. "I guessed your drink... A mai tai. Am I even close?"

I smiled at him and said, "Close. I'm drinking sex on the beach, but thank you." I eyed the glass. I knew better than to drink even one sip of that. He carried it up here himself, and who knew what had transpired between the time Ace made it and just now.

"I appreciate the drink, but I think I have to pass." As the words rolled off my tongue I found my heart swelling with something... Love? Was I in love with Cash? Because I was declining the drink on grounds of safety, right? We weren't committed yet.

"You're seeing someone?" he asked, and his expression shifted. He knew he'd struck out and I didn't even have to say it.

I nodded. "It's complicated."

Music continued to pulse around me, and I sensed eyes watching me. Except it wasn't the same feeling I had previously, with dozens of guys watching me, hoping for their shot to dance and buy me a drink. I looked up and saw Ace staring, as if examining me. It made me feel guilty for entertaining this stranger, and it made me wonder if Cash had led on to Ace that he wanted more with me too.

"Complicated isn't committed though... Is it?" The guy pried a little and I turned back to him. He was handsome, deep-seated blue eyes framed in by thick dark eyebrows. A hint of dimples beneath his beard peeked out, and his wavy hair fell across his forehead, threatening to cover his eyes completely. "Is he here? From around here?"

I glanced up at Annalise who was laughing. She caught my gaze and gave me a thumbs up, but after the day of reinventing myself with the hopes of sparking a bit of chemistry between me and Cash--pushing him to name what we had going on--I didn't understand why she'd encourage me to flirt with this guy.

"He's uh... No, he's not here. I really appreciate the drink...."

"Jeff."

"Thank you, Jeff. But I'm just here to have a few drinks and dance. I hope you understand." I winced at how stupid I must have sounded to him and he slowly stood and took my hand, kissing the back of it.

"This guy is pretty lucky. You make sure he treats you right. If he doesn't, I'll be here next weekend again." The gravelly baritone rumbled across my skin and his breath warmed my hand, but he turned and walked away, leaving the drink.

Six months ago, I'd have been giddy, dizzy with a hot flash from the adrenaline of an interaction like that. But I felt nothing. I sat there rubbing my hand watching him walk away as Annalise barged up to me.

"Dude, that guy was cute. Maybe a little old, but hey, who cares?" She stood there breathless, her chest heaving as I stared into space thinking of how much I wished Cash was here. "You who...." She waved her hand in front of my face. "We're here to get drunk and get our groove on. Did he ask you to dance?"

I glanced up at her and shook my head. "No, I think he wanted to ask me out." My voice sounded hollow, foreign. I wasn't a bundle of nervous energy anymore. I felt anchored and steady. I really did love Cash.

"You gonna drink that?" I heard a male voice say and I turned to see Ace standing there with my next sex on the beach. He pointed at the drink the man left and said, "It's not spiked. I watched him the whole time. I have to keep you two in line, you know."

"If she's not drinking it, I will!" Annalise's hand shot out, picking the drink up and the straw was in her mouth in seconds. Ace laughed at her, smacked the bar top, and walked away. And I sat there with a crooked smile. I was in love with Cash and that made me happy.

Now, I just had to coax a commitment out of him in the least threatening way possible.

Piece of cake.

Chapter 24

Piper took a bite of her chicken dish and moaned around the fork as it slid out of her mouth. "This is so frickin' good." Her eyes might as well have rolled back in her head and I chuckled.

"I thought you'd like it." Despite having driven forty minutes out of town to this little dive for dinner, I was still on edge about being in public with her--and having Valentine's Day dinner with her for that matter.

Our entire evening had been full of great conversation about work and life, hobbies, things we had in common. I was skirting the line of being dangerously involved with her--dangerous to my heart and hers, since I knew a real relationship would never work out in the end. I hated the idea that she'd walk away from this with her heart broken for any reason, and I'd tried for months to keep my feelings in check.

"You know," she said, wiping her mouth with her napkin. I watched her manicured fingers move across her lips and imagined a few other lips they'd look nice touching too. "With just a few months until you finish your first year here, you'll be moved on to another doctor for the residency and that will free us up to have a real relationship." She put another bite of food in her mouth and made love to the fork, but even when I tried to picture that fork as my dick sliding between her lips, I couldn't.

My heart simultaneously soared and sank. The thought of having something real with Piper pulled strings in my heart that had been severed years ago by Sara, and for good reason. It wasn't possible to have the career and the girl. How much harder would it be for me and Piper given that we both had the strenuous career ahead of us, not just me?

I nodded and crammed the last bite of my food into my mouth, not really inclined to respond to that comment without careful thought and reflection. After living with Olivia and Jace for long enough, I'd gotten my own place, and tonight I planned to invite Piper back to my apartment. I hadn't planned it as a distraction to her persistent push toward commitment, but I hoped it would work now.

"I'm really looking forward to year two. The closer it gets the more I can taste it." I wiped my mouth and tossed my napkin on the empty plate. "And I'm looking forward to something else too." The transition away from the relationship conversation was so smooth she never saw it coming.

"What's that?" she asked, still smiling.

"I'm taking you home tonight." The waiter walked past and I held up a finger, indicating we were ready for the check. He nodded at me and I focused on Piper's confused expression.

She chuckled. "That's an odd thing to be excited for."

"I mean, to my place. You've asked why I've never brought you to my place, why it's always yours, so since it's V-Day I thought it would be nice." And special, though I didn't say that. Too damn special if you asked me because she'd probably read into it, but breadcrumbing was the only thing I had now.

Piper wanted something my heart wanted to give her, but that thing wasn't possible. I knew we were entering the beginning of the end. I'd thought about it a million ways, and in each scenario we got to the point where she wanted a ring or at the very least a promise, and I had to let her down. When we started this thing, she'd made it clear that she didn't have time for a relationship and her career.

I kept reminding myself of that fact to bolster my own confidence that staying good friends and casual sex partners was the only option. I liked the situation we were in, and I knew if we took a "next step" like Piper was pushing for, it would be the end of a good thing. A thing I wanted to keep. Maybe I was a bit selfish, but she was the best thing that had happened to me in years, maybe one of the only good things honestly.

"Ohhh," she mewled, "I finally get to see the bachelor pad?" Her smirk and wink made me relax a little, and with that the bullet was dodged.

After paying for dinner, we drove back to my place. I let her pick the music and laughed at her selection of nineties rock ballads. She took it like a champ, torturing me by singing very off-key renditions of the only songs I'd have chosen to listen too, and it made me feel like even more of a jerk for keeping her at arm's length. Piper was so perfect for me in every single way, but the forbidden fruit remained forbidden.

"Wow." Her genuine surprise could have offended me, but after the evening we had, I only smiled. "It's clean, and well decorated."

"Did you expect anything less?" I asked, shutting the door to the small one bedroom flat I'd made my home. She gawked at me and I got the feeling she had.

"I mean, guys aren't the cleanest creatures." Her snicker hid behind her hand and I lunged at her, tickling her sides.

"I'll have you know I'm a very tidy person. And I think I clean up nicely." My fingers worked their magic on her ribcage, drawing bellows of laughter from her lips. She seemed to have forgotten about the talk she was hinting at having during dinner, and I kept the momentum going. "I think you may like the bedroom too."

I kissed her, parting her lips as I maneuvered her body backward toward the bedroom door. She wrapped her arms around my neck and laced her fingers through my hair. We inched our way closer, and I kicked off my shoes, then started to undress her as we went. By the time the bedroom door was open, she was naked and I was halfway there, only my dress slacks remaining.

"Mmmm, it smells nice in here," she whispered, and pulled away from me.

Three scented candles sat around the room burning brightly. Their wax had filled the air with the smell of roses and honeysuckle. Soft flower petals trailed up to the bed where I used more of them to create a heart-shape on the white comforter. A bottle of wine sat in the ice bucket chilling.

"God, Cash," she said, and it sounded like she might cry. I wasn't going for overwhelming emotion, just sweet romance, but maybe no one had ever treated her like this before. I tore my pants off while she was distracted and my dick sprung up, already standing on end for her. She turned and I saw the tears in her eyes as she leaned into me again. She licked her lips and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down into another passionate kiss as I leaned over her.

Everything was warm. The air from the candles, her skin under my fingertips, the taste of her lips, the wet heat of her mouth. The bed dipped beneath us as we landed ungracefully on it, but I didn't care about that. I had spent hours arranging this room for our time together and now, I just wanted to consummate it with her body. Her fingers dug into my back and she moaned softly into the kiss as she tasted me back. Her tongue danced with mine and I could feel how wet she was as my cock slid between her thighs.

"You taste so good," I mumbled into her neck.

She gasped out a moan as I entered her slowly, feeling every inch of me stretch her tightness. She was so tight and hot, her walls clutching around me like a vice. Her nails dragged lightly up my back, leaving goosebumps in their wake. It was hypnotizing, watching her tits bounce with each thrust as she ground back into me. Her mouth found mine again and we began to move in sync. We breathed together, our bodies working together to pleasure each other. The springs of the bed screeching as we found a rhythm.

"God, Cash," she mewled and wrapped her legs around my hips.

Her body felt amazing. Firm and soft all at once. Her breasts pressed against my chest and it was glorious. Every so often she threw her head back in ecstasy, and I loved the feel of her neck under my lips. But I could blow any second and be lost in this moment, and I wanted her to enjoy it too.

"I want your ass," I growled against her mouth, and she whimpered.

"God, I want that too." Her fevered panting told me the instant I sank into her she would milk me. She kissed me more frantically, whining as I pulled out and flipped her over. "Shit... lube," she hissed, but I had everything ready. I reached under the pillow and pulled out the bottle of lube dripping some down her crack. She giggled and jolted, as the cold liquid dribbled across her holes. I tossed the lube and pulled her hips up into the air, staring at her holes.

Just knowing that my dick was the only one that had ever penetrated her ass made me want it all the more. It made me want her that much more. And it made me want more with her. So much more. But I gritted my teeth and forced myself to stay in this moment where my emotions and my damn relationship rules wouldn't ruin it for either of us.

"God, your ass is hot." I rubbed my fingers over her hot entrance as I stroked myself. "Play with your clit."

Piper obeyed, reaching between her legs to swirl her fingers in the moisture collected there.

As she did, I spread her ass cheeks and rubbed the head of my cock against her entrance, playing with her hole. She moaned and pushed back against me, wanting it inside her. I thrust into her slowly. Her hole was so tight around my dick, but I loved every inch of it. It stretched her out and I loved watching my dick disappear into her ass. Piper groaned loudly, pulling away from me as she took all of me.

"That's it," I whispered, grasping a handful of her hair.

I began to thrust, and Piper's walls squeezed me, her breathy moans getting louder and more desperate. "Oh fuck yes," she gasped. Her walls clamped down on me and I felt myself getting closer, so close to the edge I could fall over. "Cash... harder," she demanded through gritted teeth, and I obeyed. I thrust into her harder, grabbing onto her hips for support. Piper and her body... she was everything I wanted more of.

I exploded into her ass, grunting as my hips slammed into her, unable to hold back anymore. She came too, crying out as she clamped down on me again and again. Her walls gripped around me like a vice, milking every last drop of cum from my cock. And when she finally calmed to mere twitches of pleasure, I pulled out, watching her ass gape a little for a brief second before tightening. My cum dribbled down her thigh as I collapsed beside her on the heart-shape made out of rose petals, and I pulled her down next to me so I could hold her.

It felt good having her lying in my arms and when she didn't speak, I decided I wasn't ruining the moment either. I pulled the covers over us, rose petals and all, and she dozed off to sleep. We hadn't even touched the wine, but that was okay with me. I lay there thinking about the past and how this should have been my ex-wife. We made promises to each other that we were each other's forever love, except things didn't work out the way we planned.

I didn't want that with Piper. Promises were made to be broken, and I'd already learned the hard way that my goals in life and in my career weren't a good match for a long term relationship with anyone. Sara proved it to me time and again. I'd even thought maybe if I was stationed nearby or just quit the service I'd have had a better shot, but it wasn't the military, it was my career in general. A man needs to be free to be everything his wife wants, and I just wasn't able to do that with the career path I'd chosen. Work would dictate too much of my time for years still.

I slept heavy, having a few rough dreams of my time over seas, and when I woke up, Piper was curled up on the edge of the bed with the tiny scrap of blanket left for her after my tossing and turning. I felt bad for that, but even years of therapy hadn't helped alleviate those nightmares.

I slipped out of bed and covered her up, then grabbed some shorts and a t-shirt. It was just after seven, and I had no clue what time she normally woke up, but since I was an early riser I stuck to my scheduled. I headed to the kitchen and pulled out a frying pan and some eggs. By the time I had a feast fit for a king prepared, Piper had stuck her head out of the bedroom.

She emerged wearing one of my t-shirts and her panties, looking like something the cat dragged in. It was adorable, her mussed hair and smudged makeup. The way she yawned and rubbed her eyes as she smiled at me made me chuckle.

"Sleep okay?" I asked, genuinely concerned that I had kept her awake part of the night. Without the added depressant of alcohol in my system some nights were rough ones.

"I did, though you stole the blanket a few times." She sank into a chair at the table and curled one foot up to sit on it. She looked tired still.

"I didn't mean to wake you with this. I can keep it warm if you want to rest more." I gestured at the food but she shook her head and waved me off.

"Honestly, I'd have woken up anyway. I'm up before seven every day, and that smells delicious."

Her eyebrows rose as I set a heaping plate of bacon and eggs, pancakes, and breakfast sausages in front of her. She didn't even wait for the salt and pepper or syrup. She picked up a sausage with her fingers and took a big bite and nodded at me while she grunted out how good it tasted.

"I'm glad you approve, now just let me get my plate and the syrup and I'll join you." I turned to get my things, and when I sat down, the sausage on her plate was gone. I watched her slather everything in syrup and douse it in salt, then dig in.

She ate faster than me, which surprised me because we military folks ate pretty fast at times in order to make sure we got to enjoy every bite before our time was up and we had to report back. We hardly spoke while we were eating, but when she was done, and set her fork down, the inevitable happened.

"You know, Cash, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were avoiding the conversation about us taking our relationship to the next level." There was a long pause as I took a bite of pancakes, formulating my response, but she continued. "Before the holidays I thought it was just because of the holidays. Then in mid-January I thought it was because you were concerned about administration finding out and giving one or both of us the boot. Now, I don't know."

My head dropped. So this was how it was going to happen? And so soon? I knew something shifted in the little agreement we had--call it a relationship, but I didn't. I couldn't. Putting a name on this would ruin it. We had a good thing, and I'd fought to preserve it, and now I was faced with letting Piper know it could go nowhere. I waited long enough that she grew uneasy, picking up her plate and carrying it to the sink. I heard her rinse it and the fork scrape across it as she pushed bits of food down the disposal. When she returned to stand by me, I sighed.

"Piper, I want to have this discussion with you, but I don't think you're going to like my answer." I couldn't make eye contact with her, though I did see her shoulders slump.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, when we started out, this was just hot sex, right? And you said you didn't have time for a relationship on top of your career. We agreed that was the thing..." I felt like I was being an asshole, but I was just reminding her of the things we'd already said to each other. I didn't want to hurt her, but it appeared there would be no letting her down easily.

"And things changed... Cash, I'm falling in love with you. In just a few months you won't report to me anymore. We've done this long enough now that it can actually be possible if you want. I thought that's what you wanted?" She sounded hurt, and as she took a step backward away from me, I knew she was hurt.

I wanted to jump to my feet and grab her, pull her into my arms, lavish her in kisses and hold her against my body, but that would send the wrong message. Yes, that was what I wanted. I wanted love and a home and a family. I wanted a life partner and someone to support my career goals and be here when I came home at night. I just didn't want to hurt her because I knew it would never work between us.

"I just don't have time for a relationship and my career at the same time, Piper. I'm really sorry. I don't want to hurt you; I just thought we agreed on that."

I sat there staring at the remaining food on my plate which would now be discarded since I had no appetite. And she walked off in silence and shut the bedroom door. I heard sniffling but I didn't go check on her. All I could do was stare at the plate and mourn the good thing we had which was no on life support. And I still had to drive her home.

I hated this.

Chapter 25

Standing in front of the class giving my lecture, I avoided eye contact with Cash--Dr. Keller. I had to think of him that way now. After the conversation we had, which I hoped would go one way and which had gone the opposite way, I struggled to find motivation. But I was a professional, not an emotionally driven amateur. So I held my chin high and spoke with confidence, though I was certain the smirk on Cash's face every time I looked at him was evidence that he could see right through me.

"Do you all have any questions?" I asked, feeling my phone buzz from where it was clipped to my belt on my hip. I didn't even look at it, instead focusing on the bright faces staring back at me.

I fielded a few questions, ignoring Cash's raised hand. It was unprofessional, but if I addressed him I'd have to look at him, and if I did that, I'd crack. I knew it. So I paid attention to the others first, and when my phone buzzed again, this time in a persistent ring, I unclipped it and looked down at it. It was my boss, and it was my saved by the bell moment.

"Uh, I have to take this. If you have any other questions, please email me. Otherwise I'll see you tomorrow morning for rounds." I stepped to the side as I swiped to unlock my phone and turned my back on the interns as I held the phone to my ear. "Hello, Doctor Ellis here."

After being interrupted last week by the call from the hospital director praising my team, most specifically Dr. Keller, I had no idea what this could be about.

"Dr. Ellis, is this a good time to talk?" Dr. Jones didn't have my schedule, but he couldn't have called at a better time. It made avoiding Dr. Keller that much easier for me.

"Yes, of course it is." I glanced over my shoulder at the group gathering their things and packing up. I didn't see Dr. Keller, but I did see a book on the table where he'd been seated during lecture. I forced myself to look away and listen to what Dr. Jones was saying.

"I'm afraid I have something to discuss with you that you might not find pleasant." He paused as if to punctuate the statement more boldly, and in that split second my pulse leapt. Cash and I had been careful. We had been very professional at work and made sure when we were in public it was out of town where no one would see us. He couldn't possibly be talking about our secret relationship, so I my mind raced. What could this be about? I was performing well, or at least I thought I was.

"Yes, sir..." I said, goading him on.

"Piper, let me be straight with you." He ever used my given name. As professionals we always used titles and surnames, though it wasn't a policy as much as a standard of respect. So I knew something was wrong. He was reaching out as a peer, not as my boss, and that worried me. "Someone has brought an accusation against your character and frankly I'm shocked."

"Sir?" I asked, without qualifying it. I wasn't about to offer any suggestions as to what standard of character I'd broken. I knew damn well what I'd done, but he didn't. There was no proof, no evidence as to my infraction against the nonfraternization policy. My thoughts went straight to that flirty intern that hung all over Cash half the time and the way she looked at me in the doctor's lounge when I turned and got a little flustered by her staring at me. Certainly that change in demeanor couldn't be the reason he was calling me.

"There has been an accusation that you are having a relationship with one of the interns who report directly to you, or the appearance of one." I opened my mouth as if to speak but he continued, saving me from self-sabotage. "Now, I'm not naming names and I don't want to know anything."

Holding my breath, I felt my neck starting to constrict. Who had told on us? And how had they found out? Cash wasn't stupid enough to confide in someone was he? And if so, who?

"Sir, I'm not sure what to say." I couldn't lie. That would only make things worse, which meant denial was out. If I lied and they proved I was lying, it would be worse for me than if I just faced the consequences.

"You don't have to say anything; this call is more of a courtesy, honestly. I have to turn this in to the ethics review board and let them sort it out. You know I have deep respect for you, Piper, so I'm really hoping this is just a misunderstanding. I know it in no way reflects your professionalism with patients or as a doctor, but rules are rules."

Panic set in when he said he had to give it to the review board. This was serious then. Someone, probably Kira, had outright accused me of having a relationship, most likely with Cash because he was the only one who made sense. I hardly spoke to the other guys outside of lectures, rounds, and answering questions.

"I understand, sir." Again, I didn't confirm nor deny the facts, but my gut felt sick and my knees felt weak. This was bad. And after everything, I'd taken the risk and it was worth nothing anyway. Cash had zero interest in a relationship with me. All along, it had been the sex he wanted, not me.

"You should probably be prepared for a review board to call you. Unless they find the claim unsubstantiated, there will be an internal hearing. Your students will all be questioned, but if you've done nothing wrong, you'll do fine."

If only it were that simple. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate the call." He didn't have to call me. He could have let me be slapped by a huge shock when the review board called, or worse--interrupted my class.

"You got it, Dr. Ellis. I'll let you get back to your interns."

"Bye," I told him, feeling my legs wobble as I hung up the phone. I walked over to the nearest chair and sat down, burying my face in my palms and letting my phone drop to my lap. They'd be asking every one of the interns questions now, and there was no way to stop it.

From the very beginning I'd been worried that this would happen. That someone would get a whiff of something in appropriate and call foul. Cash was so persistent though, wearing me down, and against my initial judgment I caved. I gave in to my own stupid lust, then started to catch feelings and for what?

"You okay?" I heard his voice say and I felt anger swelling in my chest.

Not just anger--rage. I lowered my hands and felt my jaw tighten, then my neck, then my chest. No, I was not okay. I was panicked and infuriated that I had taken a huge risk for something I thought he wanted only to be rejected like a five-dollar whore.

He leaned down and picked up the book left lying on his desk and I knew he'd done it on purpose. He'd been waiting for a chance to get me alone and this was some awful timing.

"I'm fine," I said, snapping at him. I stood to my feet, walking swiftly to the podium where I shut my laptop and picked it up. He followed me and watched as I struggled with the zipper on the laptop bag.

"Looks like you need to get laid. Maybe that will calm you down."

"Not now, Dr. Keller." I kept my tone stern because following that call, I wasn't in the mood. When I managed to get the computer in the bag and turned to pick up my purse, I dropped my phone and had to bend to pick it up, which drew a half-whistle from his lips.

"Yeah, I think it's just as hot in that skirt and lab coat as it is naked and spread for me." This was the most forward he'd been on hospital campus and I wasn't having it.

"Enough," I snapped again, standing abruptly. I got a little dizzy and leaned on the podium for support. I was seething, chest heaving up and down trying to control my temper. I lowered my voice to make sure only he could hear me, not any wandering ears in the hallway eavesdropping.

"From the beginning I told you this wasn't a good idea. You pushed me so hard, insisting we could have something, and no, you never said what that 'thing' would be, but you never said what it wouldn't be either." I felt like I wasn't' making any sense.

"Woah, easy there," he cooed, holding up his hands innocently. "We both agreed we had no time for a relationship and a career, Piper." His voice was lowered to just above a whisper. I saw the pain in his eyes too, as if he hated what he was saying but I was too mad to care.

"That was Dr. Jones, my boss. Someone has made an accusation of impropriety, Dr. Keller," I hissed, careful to emphasize his name on purpose.

"I think you're overreacting. We've been careful. There's no proof of anything, okay?" He reached out as if he would touch me but now I was hyper aware of eyes everywhere.

"I swear it was Kira. She sees you paying attention to me and she's pissed you're rebuffing her." I draped my laptop bag over my shoulder and sighed, pressing my fingers to my temple. "I have to go."

"So what if someone said something?"

His words struck a raw spot and I whipped around and snapped at him again. "You don't understand. They're going to ask every one of the interns questions like do I pay more attention to one student than another. And things like, have I played favorites, or have they seen me around with anyone."

I stopped short when Dr. Timmons walked in and smiled at me. "Forgot my charger," she said, nodding at an outlet across the room where a charging block clung to life.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said curtly and walked away.

I seethed the entire drive home, making sure to deadbolt the front door before I collapsed on the couch in a heap. Boots climbed on top of me, pushing his nose against my cheek and begging for attention and I almost started bawling. This couldn't be happening to me. Why had I ever listened to Annalise and given in to Cash? My reputation was on the line now, and while I knew I could rebound it hadn't been in my plan to have to fight a sexual harassment claim.

I dialed Annalise, because what else was I going to do? She had pushed me to take this risk and now she had to help me sort out what the hell I was going to do next.

Chapter 26

I was genuinely shocked when I got Piper's message to come over to her house. For a full week she'd been ghosting me. Ever since that call during lecture where she freaked out and snapped at me, I thought things were over for good. I'd hurt her; I knew that. I just thought we could still try to sort something out anyway. It was wishful thinking, but today's message inviting me over gave me hope that wishes still came true.

I knocked on the door and it swung open to reveal a flustered Piper. Her hair was disheveled and her glasses were crooked. She wore her bathrobe over what I could only imagine was absolutely nothing. We hadn't had sex in ten days and my body was on edge, demanding to have her. So given the fact that she was already half naked and I was a sex-starved idiot, I didn't wait for the invitation.

My boot knocked the door shut as I planted my hands on her hips and leaned in to kiss her. She gasped, gripping my biceps as I backed her across the room, devouring her mouth. Her whimpers and moans didn't sound like pleasure--more like protest, but she kissed me back, so I kept going, ripping my shirt off and undoing my belt buckle as I went.

"God, Cash, can we..." she muttered when my lips left hers long enough to pull my shirt over my head, but I covered her lips with mine again as I shimmied my jeans over my hips and kicked my boots off, stepping out of the pants as the hit the floor. "Cash," she protested again, but I untied the belt of her robe and opened the front, discouraged to see a bra and panties.

"Cash!" she snapped, and I stopped, my fingers pushing into the waistband of the silky fabric on her hips.

"What?"

"Can we talk, please?" Her gaze met mine and I didn't like what I saw there--fear, anger maybe. I knew I could loosen her up a little, help her relax so whatever conversation she wanted to have with me would go more smoothly.

"I think we're on a roll, baby. And I think if I make you come so hard you can't walk, our talk will go much better." I let my hands slide across her hips, around the curve of her ass until I gripped both cheeks and pulled her against my body. My dick was rock hard, pressing against her core. The only thing separating me from her was the thin fabric of my boxers and her silky panties, which likely were soaked with arousal.

I wanted her bad. It had been too long and for this entire time I thought it was over. For a brief second one night when I lay awake on my bed wondering how it went wrong, I even considered taking Kira up on her offer, but quickly shut that down when I remembered how amazing Piper was.

I dived back in, parting her lips and searching her mouth with my tongue, until she pushed me away hard and snapped at me. "No, Cash. We have to talk now." She gathered the front of her robe and closed it, tying it shut before stepping away from me. I felt foolish standing there in just my boxers with a tent pole holding the cotton material away from my body. The only time I'd ever seen her like this was when she went off at me after that call.

My shoulders dropped and I sighed, realizing I was not getting laid yet. But she was worth so much more than a cheap lay anyway. "Alright," I said, picking up my jeans. At least the thick denim would hold my cock down so it wasn't so distracting. I yanked them on and plopped on her couch as she paced. I swore I heard her sniffle too, which I had missed when I first walked in.

"The board called," she started, sounding shaken. "We both have to go in for a review hearing. So whatever they've come up with, whatever evidence they have or the interns have told them, it's substantial enough to make them question us." She pressed her hand to her forehead and I noticed the streaked mascara on her cheeks for the first time.

God how was I so unperceptive? I sat straighter, trying to keep a level head. Piper acted like a caged animal, panicked and ready to attack at any second, which wasn't at all what I'd come to expect from her. She wasn't as collected under pressure as I was given my combat training, but she was generally put together. This had her rattled.

She turned abruptly and glared at me. "I need to know what we are, Cash. I'm not going to throw my career away for casual sex."

There was a fierceness in her tone and in her eyes that told me she was very serious, and I didn't understand why we were back to this again when I already told her it wouldn't work. I stood slowly, trying not to be angry, but I was. I retrieved my shirt and put it on, then buckled my pants and belt. My cock was going down faster now because it was obvious this was not a booty call at all. I didn't want to seem heartless, but I was irritated because this was already settled in my mind, and I'd already been grieving over it for ten days.

"Well?" she asked, and I couldn't hold back anymore.

"I already told you, Piper. I don't' have time for a relationship and a career at the same time." I turned to face her slowly as I stooped to pick up my boots and untie them. "We've already been over this."

Her body went rigid, a trembling lip protesting what she'd heard. Her nostrils flared and tears welled up in her eyes and I felt like a jackass for leading her on for so long, but it was truly better for her to understand now. How could I continue doing this with her thinking we were going to go off and get married and have a family or something? I knew full well my career would come first, that I'd be working long hours and late nights, and she'd expect me home for dinner and diaper changes.

It tore my heart out but I couldn't give her what she wanted even if it was what I wanted too. I had a calling to this profession; one that I couldn't deny. It's what fueled me to get out of bed in the morning, to save lives, and I knew I would always have this drive; it would never go away. And she would be left a casualty of my passion instead of the woman I loved and cherished. I couldn't do that to her.

"Because we're going to have to confess or deny the relationship, and I can't throw my career away on this, Cash." Her voice cracked and the tears rolled across her cheeks. "So you have to tell me what we are then. Because I did this all for you." I heard the pain seeping through her tone, pleading with me to make it stop, begging me to come to her.

God did I want to go to her. I wanted to hold her in my arms, throw my own fucking career in the shitter and flush it, but I couldn't. I had to remind myself she was better off without me. I was only going to hurt her by choosing the job over a relationship.

"Piper..." I said, feeling defeated.

"Just tell me!" she shouted, hands clenched into fists at her side and my heart sank.

"I can't have a relationship with you. I'm sorry."

Pain swelled in my chest, threatening to drown me. This hurt like hell, more than the minute Sarah ended things and I knew there was no point in fighting for her anymore.

"Get out!" she screamed pointing at the door. Her eyes went wide with anger and she shocked me when she charged at me and pushed me toward the door with my boots still in hand. "Just get out! Now, leave!"

I didn't resist her; it would only make things worse later on. She insisted on pushing me right out the front door and I stood on the porch and listened as the door locked and then the deadbolt clicked into place. It didn't have to happen like this, but I couldn't change the way she felt.

Instead of driving home where I would just lie on my bed staring at the ceiling trying to figure out how it got so messed up, I drove to the bar. Ace stood behind the counter with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a tumbler in the other and when I sat down he poured me a drink and put it in front o fme. He had to have known something was wrong just by my facial expression because he left me to drink three drinks before he even asked me what was wrong.

"Alright... Spill it," he said, draping his towel over his shoulder. The bar was mostly empty tonight, which was a good thing. I had zero interest in half a dozen women hanging on me right now. "Lady trouble?"

"God I fucked up bad, man." I pushed the empty glass away and stared at the ring of moisture on the bar where it had condensed and puddled.

"What'd you do now?" He chuckled but I glared at him. Now wasn't the time for his jokes or picking on me. I knew I'd messed things up completely, and I knew it the instant I heard those locks click and Piper sob as she leaned against the door. "Yikes, that bad?"

"Someone told the administration that Piper and I were together. We're under review." I pinched the bridge of my nose, hoping that explanation would be enough to keep him off my back. But of course it wasn't.

"Well, that's not the end of the world. They'll probably do some review thing, ask you to declare a relationship. In todays' society they won't fire anyone, but you'll have to fill out paperwork and probably be reassigned to a different team. You know the--"

"God, Ace, this is serous." I glared at him and ran a hand through my hair feeling way too emotional. I didn't want any of that. I didn't want Piper hurting and I didn't want this to be over. And it wasn't' just because of sex. I fucking loved her.

"Okay, well walk me through this. What have you fucked up so badly?" He leaned on the bar, planting his elbows and clasping his hands together. Ace and I got along just fine, but I didn't talk to people about stuff like this. No one understood why I made the choices I made, least of all him, and I didn't want a lecture again.

"I just screwed it up. I had something good and it's over." I sat back on the stool eyeing the bottle of whiskey he set down next to the register. I could drink myself stupid and forget everything but I'd only wake up tomorrow with the cold reality that I lost something really amazing.

"What happened? You can't just apologize?"

"No."

"Cash, you're not making sense. Anything can be worked out. What happened?" He straightened and held a finger up to a customer at the other end of the bar and then crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me.

"I ended it, okay? I want her. I think I'm in love with her, but I ended it because it will never work out." It physically hurt me to say the words, but they were true. I was in love with Piper Ellis and I wanted a life with her, like the life I had with Sarah only better because Piper was everything Sarah never was.

"You dumbass," he said, laughing and it was jarring. I glared at him more harshly and almost got up and left. "Listen, if there is anything I know about women, it's that they give you a second chance. Liv and I have had our share of fights, buddy. We've worked out every single one."

"This is different," I told him standing. I knew I couldn't drive, and the best I could do would be to sit in my Jeep until I sobered up a bit, but I didn't want to sit here and listen to his ranting.

"How? Because you're so special and unique that you're the only man in the world who can't be forgiven?" He rested a fist on the bar and continued. "Or is this the whole 'I can't have a career and a relationship at the same time' bullshit again?"

His words stung and I turned to go but he didn't stop talking. "Because if you are committed to making it work--both of you--then nothing can stop it."

I stormed out, letting the door swing shut behind me and sulked to my Jeep and sat down. Ace was wrong, wasn't he? Because this residency had only just started and I had years to go still. It would be long shifts, sleepless nights, difficult patients who demanded all my attention, not to mention times when I lost a patient and didn't have the emotional capacity to care for myself let alone a woman.

Raking a hand through my hair I agonized over every word of the conversation with Piper in my head. Even after I told her three times that I couldn't have a relationship, she was still there, committed to having one. And she was a doctor too--so she knew the long hours and the emotion behind it. What if I was wrong? What if she was the best thing that had ever happened to me and I was screwing it up for real because I was afraid she was like Sarah and wasn't' committed to this thing working? Or what if it was just the alcohol?

It was torture being alone in my head, so I got my phone out and called her, but it went straight to voicemail--four times in a row. God, I had messed up and now I didn't know if there was a way to come back from it.

Chapter 27

All morning I thought I was going to throw up. My lectures had been postponed for today and Dr. Jones was taking my rounds and my interns for the morning too, except for Cash, who followed me around like a frickin' lost puppy demanding that I stop and talk to him, but that's how we got into this mess to begin with.

The review board waited on the other side of the door for us while I once again put my firm personal boundary in place. Though doing that was about as difficult as it had been the first time. The entire situation should never have happened, starting with the club that night we met. I let Annalise push me to be more like her instead of staying true to who I was, and it had come back to bite me.

"Piper, stop being ridiculous. We have to get our story straight before we go in there or--"

"Or what?" I snapped quietly. I glanced at the door and then up and down the hallway, and even though we were totally alone I still stood my ground. He was too addicting to even give him an inch. "Dr. Keller, this is inappropriate. We are under review for this very thing and I can't pursue a relationship with you."

"I'm just asking you to talk to me," he pleaded. Those mesmerizing blue eyes tried to hypnotize me. I felt my skin tingle just thinking about the way he touched me, how he made me feel. And my heart felt like it was being torn out of my chest and stomped on, but I couldn't do it. Casual sex wasn't me. It wasn't my personality or what I desired. I wanted something real and I had gone after it and now I was paying for it.

"We are going to go in there and tell them the truth, Cash. Nothing happened." I eyed him sternly to make my point. I had no idea if the cameras in this place had mics but I knew they were recording us every second, which was why I insisted we have zero physical contact at work anywhere.

"Could you please just listen to me for a second? I'm sorry I--"

"Dr. Keller, Dr. Ellis, the board is ready for you." A balding man with a round nose and square glasses popped his head out the door and motioned for us to follow him.

Thankful for the reprieve, I followed the man into the room. I didn't know any of the board members, but I did recognize Dr. Slater, one of the hospital chairs. He stood in for Dr. Jones since my patients still needed care and I was busy with this nonsense. I walked directly to him and stood next to him with Cash close on my heels. At least in this room I was safe from his nagging. He wanted to apologize, but my heart couldn't handle it. He had to be the jerk who broke my heart and left me crying. I couldn't afford to see him as this sweet guy who did something wrong and wanted to make it right. Not when I was faced with my career ending over all of this.

If I listened to his apology, I would melt into him and forget all the pain I'd been feeling for days now, because I loved him. But as much as I wanted him in my life, maybe forever, I cared more about his future as a doctor to put us both through that misery again. We wanted different things. I wanted a serious relationship; he wanted casual sex. We both wanted our careers which conflicted thanks to hospital policy, and neither of us was ready to concede what we wanted for the other. I had to be the bigger person here and push him away. He was mad now, but he'd thank me later.

"Dr. Ellis, Dr. Keller, thank you both for joining us." A stern-looking woman with curly hair and dark eye makeup looked up at us. She sat at a long oval table populated only on one side by seven men and women all wearing suits. They looked intimidating, and I wished I'd have prepared myself for this moment a little better instead of obsessing over how I'd lost Cash before I even had him.

"Let's get started, shall we?" she asked, and I nodded. From the corner of my eye I saw Cash standing stoically, with his hands folded in front of his body at his waist. His shoulders were squared, his chin high, and god did he look hot in that blue button down and trousers. I scolded myself for thinking that, and refocused on the board.

"We've had a complaint about the two of you and we need to assess if there is any merit. Now, we've discussed this with your other interns, Dr. Ellis, and only one of them had much to say, but our policy is strict and we have a zero tolerance for this sort of thing." The woman sounded more like Charlie Brown's teacher than a serious professional, or maybe it was because I was standing only inches away from the man I was head over heels in love with and there was nothing I could do about it. He wasn't mine; he would never be mine. He could never be mine. I had to get that through my head now and stop being hung up on him.

"Our nonfraternization policy makes it clear that relationships between staff members is forbidden. It poses a distraction in the workplace that can lead to mistakes and failures. The two of you were seen holding hands, and this board would like to hear an explanation of what was going through your mind." She eyed me as I nervously swallowed the lump in my throat.

It had to have been Kira. That night at the Christmas party she was hanging all over Cash and no one said a word about her, but when I hooked my pinky around his in the hallway and left it there a few seconds, suddenly we were "holding hands." Fuck's sake.

"Dr. Ellis, would you care to explain?"

I took a deep breath and decided my only option was to deny everything adamantly. "Ma'am, I'm not sure what was reported, but Dr. Keller and I have been nothing but professional. I've never held his hand." I said it with full confidence because other than a passing hand grab to pull him into my bedroom for sex, we had never held hands. Or maybe that time at the restaurant when we walked to his Jeep for sex, but god, I couldn't very well tell her that. Besides they had no proof.

"So you're saying the party who reported you was mistaken?" She picked up a pair of glasses and slid them on her face, now looking at me over their rim and pursing her lips.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Dr. Keller, do you have anything to add here?" The woman was just doing her job. I had to remind myself and stay calm or I'd give us both away, and since it was over anyway, there was no use in defending what happened.

"Ma'am, it's like Dr. Ellis said. Nothing happened." I heard the tremor in his voice and felt that pain too. We were acting as if we'd never met, never touched, hadn't connected deeply. It stung my conscience and my soul too.

"So to the accusation that you two have a relationship outside this hospital, how do you answer?" Her question was so direct I knew I'd feel guilty but I flat-out lied anyway.

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other before feeling brave enough to speak. "We have no relationship outside of work. It's completely professional." I managed to keep my tone even and my voice from cracking, but when she asked Cash the same question and he answered, I heard the disappointment in his tone.

"Dr. Ellis is correct. There is no relationship between us."

Why did that sound like he was sad too? And why had he chosen this exact moment to change is mind and want something with me, after he broke my heart, after we were facing ethics review, and long after there was any shot for us at all now?

The instant the meeting was adjourned, with a strong warning to keep things professional, I darted into the bathroom to cry. Why had I ever listened to Annalise and let myself get carried away? Now the rest of this year was going to suck so badly, and there was no way out of seeing his ruggedly handsome face every single day. I hated the situation and I hated myself for falling in love with him.

I shoud have known better.

Chapter 28

Leo swung the bat like a pro, smacking the ball straight to center field. I watched as the other team scurried to run after it, but he'd hit it past the outfielders. His little feet carried him over the muddy diamond, pushing three runners ahead of him as he went. The crowd was on their feet cheering and howling while I sat with my hands clasped watching it unfold.

For five weeks I'd been numb inside. Work wasn't the same; home was lonely. Even weekends hanging with Liv and Ace weren't the same either. Piper was so cold and professional all the time, and while I appreciated that she was capable of moving on and maintaining her poise as she worked through her emotions about the situation, I hated that she seemed to move on so easily. To forget me and pretend we'd never met.

I sent her messages every morning to say good morning, and every night to tuck her in but she never responded to them. I knew she read them though, so I kept sending them, hoping one day she'd crack and reply. She refused the flowers I sent her, telling the delivery man it wasn't her and she didn't want them. That sucked. And when she had a dead battery and I offered to jump it for her, she refused, saying she called her roadside assistance already.

There was no point in pursuing her but I just couldn't stop myself. I was only torturing myself; I knew it, but I had to keep trying. Piper was everything pure and good about this world and I had messed it up so bad. I was stupid for thinking that she would be okay with just sex and friendship. And I had been a fool for denying my feelings for her so long.

"Hey, what's up, man? You seem out of it." Liv sat down next to me as the teams raced off the diamond and lined up for their handshake. The game was over, and I felt like I'd missed half of it.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, where's your life, your zest at?" She bumped shoulders with me as the stands began to empty. Parents stood and carried their things, moving toward the dugout to collect their children. I stared out over the empty diamond and sighed.

"I don't know. Just feeling off I guess." Olivia knew nothing about my feelings for Piper, and while she knew there was something there, I never told her how serious it had gotten, or about the review board. Thankfully we'd gotten off with just a stern warning, but it could have been worse. It pushed Piper into this hyper professional mentality that had her stonewalling me.

"Well maybe hanging out with Leo will make you feel better." She tipped her head toward the bottom of the bleachers where Leo stood with a juice box in hand and a grin on his face.

"Cash! Come run bases with me and my friends." His rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes couldn't even motivate me. Any other day I'd have loved to go run with him but I had no motivation.

"Sorry, bud, I'm talking to your mom. Next time, okay?" I watched him run off, happy to be with his friends but I knew he was disappointed. I felt bad for letting him down but I just wasn't interested.

"Come on," Liv said as she stood. I followed her down the steps of the bleachers to the dugout where Ace stood with his clipboard in hand marking down stats. She pecked him on the cheek and set her purse on the bench before heading out to the diamond to run with Leo, and I stood awkwardly watching them with my hand sin my pockets.

Ace was engrossed in his work and I was glad for that. It gave me a moment to sulk and feel sorry for myself without being grilled. I'd just have soon left the park and went home to try to call Piper again, but I'd ridden with them so I had to stay until they were ready. I leaned on the fence separating the dugout from the diamond and waited.

After a few long moments of introspection and being stuck in my head, Ace asked me a question that caught me off guard. "What'd she dump you or something?"

I tensed, but there was no point in hiding it. "Nah, I told her it was over." I didn't mention a thing about the review board, though. I was a bit embarrassed by that and there was no need to tell him how bad it had gotten.

"What the hell for? You liked her a lot. Everyone could see it." Ace stood beside me and shook his head.

"Look, it's complicated."

"Is it though? You like her. She likes you. You're in the same field of work even, so who better to understand the job and the hours required than her? If you ask me, I think it's a cop-out." His harsh tone bothered me but he was right in every way.

I was miserable and alone, and that sucked. Every relationship had challenges and took work and determination, and I'd rather work hard at something I really wanted than be alone and watch other people have what I wanted.

"I don't know, Ace. I think I screwed it up too badly. She was perfect and now she won't even return my text messages." I scowled, though my negative emotions were directed at myself.

"If I know how to do one thing, it's how to grovel. You have to be consistent and not give up. Do all the things--buy her flowers, send her letters, message her, call her, and be kind at all times. Apologize a million times if you have to and take full responsibility for whatever went wrong. Be ready for her to be pissed and unleash on you, and then just absorb it like a sponge. You'll get her back."

Ace sounded like he'd been one to grovel a lot during his relationship with Olivia and I wondered if they'd ever come close to splitting up, but his encouragement had me hopeful that maybe he was right.

"Thanks man," I told him, and he elbowed my ribs.

"Now get out there and run with Leo. He needs to work off that energy before we go home."

As I ran and played with Leo and Olivia I forgot all about how desperate I felt to get Piper back and grasped onto the hope that a bit of groveling and some sincere apologizing might help. It was that or to give up, and I wasn't a quitter.

Chapter 29

Staring at my plate of loaded nachos, I wondered if I'd ever have an appetite again. Six weeks after the review board, and I still felt like my life was under a magnifying glass. I was on edge the entire time I was at work, and when I wasn't at work I was lost in my head, grieving a relationship I thought might be "the one."

"Hey, cheer up, Piper. I've never seen you this down." Annalise had no problem scarfing down her boneless wings and tater tots. I wouldn't have been surprised if she reached over and took some of my nachos too.

I shrugged a shoulder and sighed, looking up at her. Her new haircut looked great--a short inverted bob complete with bangs. After the day of pampering, including facials, nails, and a blow out for me, I felt peopled out. I wanted to go back to her apartment and hide because any minute my phone would chime again and Cash's goodnight text would make me want to cry. I didn't understand why more than a month later he was still texting me. I never responded to him and he'd made it clear we couldn't have a relationship.

"I've never been dumped like this before." In fact, I'd never been dumped at all really. I just hadn't dated enough guys to experience this feeling. What made it worse was that I still had to see him every day at work, so this long weekend for Easter break coupled with a day of PTO was supposed to be healing for me. Only, Cash had ramped up his texting, as if not seeing me drove him crazy or something.

"He said he's sorry. I saw the messages on your phone. Why don't you just talk to him like he asked you?" Annalise was trying to mother me again and I didn't appreciate it. I was a little salty that I had listened to her about Cash to begin with, but I couldn't blame her. There was no way for either of us to know Cash just wanted a sex partner.

"What good is sorry? He doesn't want a relationship. He just wants casual sex and nothing more. What's to talk about? He made his stance clear. I can't handle it emotionally, Anna. I'm totally in love with him. My heart can't take it." I felt tears well up at the confession but I blinked them back. I'd cried enough over this situation, and I didn't feel like getting strange looks from the people around us.

"Yeah, that's hard." Annalise reached over and picked up one of my nachos and popped it into her mouth. It made my stomach turn, much like it had at lunch earlier today. I felt bile rising in my throat as I watched her talk with her mouth full. "You just seem moodier than necessary and the way you snapped at the nail tech was totally out of character. What are you, pregnant?" She snickered and shoved more nachos in her mouth and my chest tightened.

It wasn't that the thought of being pregnant hadn't crossed my mind recently, but hearing someone else say it out loud made my secret concern all the more real. My period was late, though I'd been telling myself it was only because of the stress of the job and my heavy emotions over the breakup. I was nauseous now and then but nothing major. I rationalized that it was just dehydration or something. But when my boobs started to hurt and I noticed my bra was a little too snug, I started to freak out a little.

"What?" she asked, staring at me as she chewed with her mouth open.

My stomach roiled again and I looked away, ashamed and nervous. Annalise and I were best friends and we told each other everything, but this was something I felt like I needed to deal with on my own. It was really embarrassing that I could be pregnant. I was a doctor, and I knew better. While a baby is always a precious gift to treasure, being pregnant now would really make my career take a hit.

"Piper?" Annalise said, leaning forward. "Oh my god... You don't think you're pregnant, do you?" As she hissed out the words quietly, she leaned farther forward. "Holy fuck."

"God, Anna!" I snapped. I stood up from my seat and dropped a twenty on the table from my pocket. "I need air."

Before she could react I bolted, snatching my purse and weaving through the restaurant's dining room and out the front door. It was dark already and the air felt cooler than it had all day. Spring was here, but the weather missed the memo. I hugged my arms over my chest and rubbed my biceps as I breathed deeply, trying to avoid a crying fit.

The street was busy but there weren't too many pedestrians. I stood under a streetlamp knowing I was stranded without Annalise. I just didn't want to talk about it. If Cash didn't want a relationship he definitely wouldn't want a baby, and while I adored the idea of being a mother some day, I knew being a single mom who's a doctor would be more stress than I could handle.

"Hey! What's up?" Annalise was breathless after chasing me. She tugged her sweater on and pushed her hair back behind her ears before matching my self-hugging pose.

"I don't want to talk about it." I scanned the street hoping to see a cab or something but all I saw were sedans and pickup trucks.

"Tough luck. I'm your best friend and you're going to tell me. You're really worried you're pregnant?" She walked around to stand right in front of me and forced me to look at her.

I had no choice but to face it. I was hundreds of miles from home and I had to sleep at her house tonight. She'd never let go of it after I just walked out of the restaurant like that.

"Fine, yes. I'm worried. We had a condom break one time and..." I couldn't continue. The deluge started and I covered my face, only to feel Annalise's arms wrap around me.

"Oh, babe," she mewled. "It's gonna be okay. You've always wanted to be a mom, remember? It's just not the timing you hoped for. But hey, you're going to be a great mom."

"It's not that," I wailed in a more dramatic tone than I intended. "It's him. God, Anna, I love him, and now I might be having his baby, and he wants nothing to do with me." I pushed away from her and started walking and she grabbed my wrist and made me stop.

"First of all, I got an Uber, so we have to stay here, and second of all, he does want you. Just not for the way you'd like him to." She grinned at me, and I knew she was just trying to cheer me up and get my mind off my worry, but I didn't appreciate the reminder that I was just a sex toy to him.

"Not funny."

"Look," she said, pulling me back under the light, "one thing at a time, okay? We'll go to the pharmacy on the way home and get a test. You might just be stressed out or something. It happened to me during finals my senior year. I just skipped a period for a whole month then the next month it was back like clockwork."

I sighed and let my head drop. Taking a test would just mean facing the reality of what I felt like I already knew, but she was right. Finding out the truth would just help me move forward rather than procrastinating the inevitable. And if I was pregnant, I needed good prenatal care.

"Fine," I grumbled and let her pull me in for another hug.

Twenty minutes later we were at the pharmacy buying a pregnancy test, and fifteen minutes after that we were in her apartment and I was peeing on a little plastic stick. It felt surreal, like I was living someone else's life. A few months ago I would have told anyone that having my private practice and a committed relationship would precede being a mother. As it stood now, my life felt upside down.

I left the wand lay on the bathroom sink and curled up on the couch. All I could think about was him. Him and me in bed, him and me at that restaurant laughing together, him telling me war stories, and playing with my hair after sex. Cash was smart and funny and hella gorgeous, and most of all he was a fantastic doctor and an incredible human being. He was perfect in every way but one, and that one imperfection had gutted me.

"Um, Piper..." I looked up at Annalise who stood over me with the test wand in hand. Judging by the expression on her face, and my gut feeling, I knew what the test said.

"How am I even going to tell him, Anna? If he didn't want a relationship, he's sure as hell not going to want this." I'd already resigned myself to the fact that I was keeping this baby. When suspicion played at my mind weeks ago, I'd decided that. I just didn't know how to face Cash now.

Annalise sat on the couch and rested her hand on my knee, then put the test wand on the coffee table and sighed. "I don't know, girl. But I'm going to be the best crazy aunt in the whole world, and even if he wants nothing to do with you, you're not going to be alone."

More tears welled up in my eyes and I sat up and hugged her hard. "Thank you," I whispered, and clung to her as if my life depended on it. Cash or no Cash, this baby was a good thing. Maybe the only good thing to come out of the whole experience. Life was about to change forever, but at least I'd have someone to love who would love me in return and never leave me.

Chapter 30

Ever since Ace told me how to grovel for Piper's attention and forgiveness, I'd been relentless. I sent messages, left voicemails, had flowers delivered, and brought her coffee to work each morning, until our long weekend started. She was in Chicago, as she announced to the group, and we were reporting to Dr. Jones in Piper's time off. He was okay, but nothing felt the same without Piper around. I realized over the past few days exactly how much I was still hung up on her. Without her smile when I looked up at the podium during lecture, I felt heavy and unmotivated.

But according to Dr. Jones, Piper would be back at work tomorrow, which meant she was returning home from Chicago tonight. Just the idea that she would be back in the same place as me again gave me all this energy and drive. I felt like I had to do something to make her see how desperately I needed to talk with her. A grand gesture of apology--or humiliation as Ace called it.

Work was over for the day and I was on my way across town to the bar when I saw a little florist shop. The lights were all on and the "open" sign on the door still flashed, inviting me to stop, so I did. I hadn't told Piper how I had changed my mind about things, how much I wanted to be with her, because those were words I needed to say to her face, not over a voicemail or text message. She just wouldn't give me the time of day. And if I sent a message telling her that, there was every chance she'd think I was just manipulating her and delete the message--or worse, block me.

My Jeep rolled to a stop in the space closest to the shop's entrance and I shut it off. I wasn't good at this sort of thing. When I tried to make things right with Sara, she wanted nothing to do with it. The only sort of groveling I could do with her was to quit my job, but I'd just signed a two-year commitment; there was no backing out of it. Things only got worse from there.

This, however, felt like my only hope with Piper. I'd buy every flower they had in this small little mom and pop shop if it meant she'd just give me five minutes to apologize properly and admit my screw up. Even if she still rejected me, she had to know how I felt and how my heart had changed because of her.

I climbed out of the Jeep and headed into the shop. A young girl, probably no more than eighteen years old, if that, stood behind the counter with a bright smile and perfectly straight teeth. Her hands rested one on top of the other on the counter in front of her, and her blue denim apron had the florist logo printed on it next to a pin with her name, Heather.

"Can I help you?" she asked, and I thought her smile seemed a bit over the top, but I approached the counter, looking around at the floral arrangements and pricing board.

"Uh, yeah. I need some flowers. I sort of screwed up pretty bad and I need to say I'm sorry." Stopping at the counter, I rested one hand on it as I stared up at the board. Roses, lilies, daffodils, how was I supposed to choose which ones would communicate what I wanted to say?

"Well you've come to the right place." The girl smacked her gum and grinned at me harder, and I noticed her cheeks flush. "She's a pretty lucky lady to have a handsome man like you buying her flowers. I'm sure whatever you pick will be perfect." The way she blinked purposely almost made me chuckle. Not only was she way too young for me, but she was very bad at flirty body language.

"I'm not so sure." Avoiding eye contact to discourage her flirtatious behavior, I pointed up at the board. "How about some lilies? I really like those orange ones."

When I looked back at her face, she looked horrified. Her head shook sternly before she tightened her ponytail and sighed. "Okay, you seriously need my help."

"What?" I asked, confused by the way she started to snicker.

"Orange lilies send the message that you dislike someone and hope they die... So unless you want the relationship to go really badly, I'd avoid those." Heather moved swiftly around the counter and gestured at me as she breezed past me. "Come on."

I glanced back at the board and realized I was out of my league for sure. I didn't know flowers had actual meanings like that, but I followed her across the shop as she weaved through rows of knickknacks and cards. She stopped by what looked like wrapping paper rolls and a stockpile of teddy bears.

"Now, I'm going to tell you exactly what to do. I've used this method for quite a few shaky relationships and it works every time." The way she shifted from teenager swooning to florist with experience made my mind spin, but I stood there drinking in every ounce of wisdom she had.

By the time I was done, I had spent over two hundred dollars on cards, flowers, sweets, decorations, and even a cute plush teddy bear. This was next-level stuff that even Ace hadn't recommended, but at this point I was willing to do anything at all to get her attention. And when I pulled up in her driveway and parked, ready to enact this hairbrained scheme the florist cooked up, I even considered sleeping on her front porch to force her to talk to me.

As I prepared everything and decorated Piper's front porch as prescribed, I decided I couldn't force her to speak to me. I had to respect the fact that she'd put space between us for a reason. I also resigned myself to the thought that if this didn't work, I would just let it go. It would tear me apart, but consistent badgering wasn't going to change her mind either. If anything, it was making her hate me.

So when I was done, I typed up a sincere apology in a text message and hit send, then climbed back in my car to head to Liv and Ace's house to play ball with Leo.

I just had to wait now.

Chapter 31

I Ubered home from the airport after the flight from Chicago and my luggage being lost in transit. I was exhausted from traveling and just wanted to climb in bed and sleep, but first I had to lug my bags into the house and unpack them. The car pulled up in front of the house and stopped and the driver didn't even bother to help me get my suitcase out of the trunk. So I climbed out and walked to the back end, hefting the heavy bag to the ground.

He pulled away when I shut the trunk and I slid the handle out, rolling it up the drive toward the walk. My mind was on work tomorrow and facing Cash. My secret concern that I'd carried around for a few weeks now was no longer just a concern, It was a very real situation I had to face. I was having Cash's baby, and eventually I had to tell him. Part of me wanted to just rip the bandage off and tell him now, but another part of me still feared the administration would find out we had lied and fire me.

I rounded the corner in front of the garage to the front door and stopped dead in my tracks. Someone had been here when I was gone and I had a sinking suspicion it was Cash. My door had been wrapped in metallic pink paper. There were envelopes taped all over it, along with hearts cut out of card stock and flowers made from tissue paper. A few vases of flowers had been positioned near the door and under the mailbox, organized around a large teddy bear with a pink bow that matched the door. And there was a note stuck to the door that said, "Check the mailbox." So I did, only to find a box of assorted chocolates and a few bath bombs wrapped in cellophane.

For a moment I stood there in shock, staring at the decorations and wondering why he'd go through all the trouble of doing this for me when he had no intention of having a relationship. I'd read his messages. He'd apologized for hurting me at least a dozen times, but not once had he come back to say he was wrong, that he wanted me. So this didn't make any sense at all.

And I didn't see Cash as the type to go through all of this just to get a booty call. Kira hung all over him for months trying to get him to go out with her. He could have any woman he wanted. Why do all this for me for just sex?

I thought about just tearing it down and throwing it away, not even reading those letters. I didn't want my heart to be fooled again. I knew he didn't think he had led me on that whole time, but I couldn't help feeling jilted by it all. Still, he'd gone through the trouble of doing all this, the least I could do was read the cards. Besides, after the weekend I had, learning I was pregnant, a box of chocolates sounded amazing.

So I unlocked the house and set my bags inside, then carefully carried the vases of flowers, chocolates, bath bombs, and teddy bear to the kitchen counter. Boots weaved in and out of my feet as I walked, reminding me that he was upset that I left him alone all weekend. I picked him up and scratched his ears before I returned to the door to pluck the cards off the paper to which they were stuck with tape. Then I tore down the paper and wadded it up. It was the only thing I threw out.

After opening the chocolates and having a few, I sat down on the couch and Boots curled up on my lap as I read through the cards one by one. They were numbered, as if he wanted me to read them in order, so I did. The first one was just compliments. I'd heard them every time we got together, so they weren't as impactful as perhaps he'd hoped. The next few were memories we shared together, like the night he got me out of my shell to dance with other men.

Then there was a very serious one, apologizing for the way he treated me, that he let me believe he was really into a relationship and that he hadn't communicated his expectations more clearly from the beginning. That one really confused me and brought angry tears to my eyes because it felt like I was being let down all over again. I just couldn't understand why he'd do this just to remind me he broke it off and we had nothing.

I placed my hand on my stomach and sighed softly, and Boots nudged my fingers, begging for scratches. I didn't even want to open the last card. It would just be another let down, another chance for him to beg me to keep having sex with him without the attachment of a relationship. On one hand it felt good that he thought I was that amazing in bed that he'd pursue me so much. But I wasn't' a toy for him or anyone else. And my heart was too fragile to endure that. I was in love; he wasn't.

I took the last card to my bedroom, where I undressed and put my phone on the nightstand. I slipped into a night gown and brushed my teeth, then climbed into bed and lay down. Staring at the envelope, I dozed off to sleep, but my mind wouldn't shut off. So I tore the envelope open and pulled the card out.

This card had a lot of writing. So much it looked like he had barely crammed what he wanted to say onto the small blank space. I rubbed my eyes and tried to focus, but it took a few minutes. Now I was really curious. I held the card up and blinked for good measure, then started reading.

Piper,

I know you're hurt, and I don't blame you. When we met, I thought you were the most intriguing woman I'd met in a long time. Shy and backward, awkward even. Then that night happened, and I learned you aren't as awkward as I thought you were. But you were different, and I liked it. You didn't throw yourself at me the way most other women do.

And holy shit the sex...

But that's not why I kept coming back.

See, I signed up for active duty because it was my passion, saving people and helping them. I served with my whole heart and loved what I did for a living. But my ex-wife wanted me home. She didn't understand my passion, and I didn't understand her needs. When my contract was up, I renewed it without talking to her. It was my fault, but it was my career. I didn't think I'd be happy doing anything else.

Of course I had to tell her, and we did nothing but fight for months and months. When I finally managed to get out of it, it was too late. She wanted a divorce, and my career in the military was over. Having a relationship and the career I wanted just didn't seem possible.

Until I realized that what I want might just be possible.

I need to talk to you.

Please call me.

XOXO

Cash

My eyes welled up with tears reading that and so many emotions flooded me. He was apologizing for hurting me, but more than that I finally understood. When I had told him that I didn't have time for both a relationship and a career, it had been my way of keeping him at arm's length. I didn't want to get hurt by this at all. But the longer we kept at it, the more I realized I was already emotionally involved. I let my guard down, and thus my excuse of "too busy" went out the window.

But Cash had been hurt badly by someone who didn't understand him or his passion. He feared that I wouldn't tolerate his busy workload or the need to help others, and that was so far from the truth.

I reached for my phone, wanting to call him right away and tell him to come over, but it was dead. I hadn't put it into airplane mode while on the flight, and now I'd have to wait to call him. I plugged it in, but when it finally powered on, I noticed how late it was and decided I should wait until morning. But I did send him a text telling him I'd have dinner with him at my house after work.

Now I just had to figure out how to tell him I was having his baby, and pray that the added complication didn't ruin any shot we had of working things out.

Chapter 32

I stood on Piper's front porch waiting for her to come to the door, thinking about the first night I stood on this porch. It felt like years ago, and when I was with Piper it felt like we'd known each other our whole lives. I didn't know why I hadn't realized this so much sooner, and why it took me so long to get it through my thick skull that we were perfect for each other. She'd given me this opportunity to have dinner with her and speak with her and I wasn't going to blow my shot this time.

The doorknob turned and I heard the deadbolts being disengaged and I held my breath. I hadn't even seen her outside of work in weeks, and so to be invited to her home felt like a gift, especially after her short absence from work too. When the door open I felt like I was seeing her again for the first time.

"Hey, Cash." She pushed a strand of her wavy hair out of her face and forced a tight smile. She didn't look happy to see me, but she didn't look angry at least. "Come on in."

It took my feet a moment to register her words. My brain worked more slowly than it should while around her because all I could think about was her heart. I wondered why she'd asked me to come after weeks of building a wall between us. I stepped inside thinking of how I could express what I had been feeling and thinking when I told her I couldn't have a relationship with her.

"It smells good," I told her when I detected the aroma of some savory food she'd either ordered in or cooked for us.

"Uh, yeah. I hope you'll like it." She seemed nervous. Her hand shook as she shut the door and then she folded her arms over her stomach in a self-hug. "We can just go sit at the table. It's ready for us."

It felt awkward and tense as I followed her to the table. I didn't assume we'd dive right into the conversation about the relationship or the break up, but I didn't figure it would feel this tense either. We had a conversation at work every single day and those always felt more fluid and comfortable. Of course, they were based around patients and their conditions, and this was very personal.

I went to pull her chair out for her and she waved me off, so frowning, I sat in the seat next to her chair and slid the table setting around one seat so I could be closer to her. Several serving dishes were situated in the center of the table and before she sat down, she took the lids off of them and set them on the bar. Steam rose from the dishes, leaving a fragrant mist in the air and the colorful array whetted my appetite.

"Looks good too." I peeked into the bowls and took a survey of what we'd eat and noticed peas, carrots, corn and ribs. It seemed odd to have so many vegetables, especially the little corn on the cobs they served at the Chinese restaurant, but maybe she didn't remember my favorite foods. It wasn't like we'd openly dated extensively. I felt bad about that too--that most of our interactions were only sex. That I had only gotten to know how incredible she was because I worked with her.

Piper sat and handed me a ladle so I scooped some of each dish onto my plate, then used the tongs laid beside the large pot to take a few of the baby back ribs. She moved more slowly, putting smaller portions onto her plate. The silence continued to reign over our meal until I got too uncomfortable and broke it with an apology. I put my fork down and let my shoulders drop. There was no point in pretense of pretending we were fine. The elephant had to be addressed.

"Piper, I'm sorry." I stared at my plate, watching a pea roll toward the carrots and huffed out a sigh. I knew this entire thing was my fault. If only I'd just dealt with my emotions before, the right way, we'd have been having a very different conversation right now. "This is all my fault. And I want to explain what--"

"She hurt you really bad, huh?" Her words cut me off and silenced me in the same breath. I looked up to meet her gaze as she continues. "Your ex-wife. I mean, that's your life partner and when they just give up like that..." There was such an intensity in her expression. I hated that I had to put that in a card but I felt the need to explain it to her.

"Look I hated that I had to put that in a card but--"

"I understand, Cash." Piper put her hand on my arm and squeezed. "But I'm not like her. Okay?" My heart felt like it was swelling, taking up every last inch of space in my chest until I was suffocating with a feeling of acceptance and gratitude. "I get it that you're nervous about commitment. I would be too if someone did that to me. But I know the ins and outs of this job. Remember I've been doing it for several years already. I know the long nights and double shifts and--"

"And do you know that I love you?" This time it was my turn to cut her off. Her eyes searched my face for sincerity and I didn't want to give her a single second to doubt it. "Because I do. I have for a while, for a long time. I just couldn't admit it to myself because to admit it would be to seal our fate." I took her hand and held it, then kissed it. "In my mind it had been my career and what I feel called to do with my life that had ruined my marriage. And I didn't want that for you. You are so precious and incredible. You deserve a man who can devote his whole life to loving you."

Piper chuckled, and not a little one, a big hearty laugh that bellowed out, filling the room and making me confused. I stared at her as her head tipped back and her eyes welled up. She laced her fingers through mine and then met my gaze again and calmed her fit.

"First of all, do I look like I need a man to take care of me?" Her head tilted and she smirked. "And second of all, you deserve a woman who will support and encourage your dreams, not hold you back. Cash, you are gifted and I want you to be everything you can be."

I let the tension out of my shoulders and shook my head. "You mean..." If she was saying what I thought she was saying, my heart would literally explode.

"I mean, I love you too." Those happy tears just continued to flow down her cheeks in rivulets that dripped from her jaw and chin. "And I think that for as miserable as we've both been for weeks now, we could do worse. Every relationship takes hard work, and you're the hardest worker I've ever met. So--"

I didn't even hesitate when the urge took me over. I pulled her arm so hard she came out of her chair and onto my lap as I turned my legs out from under the table. She yelped in surprise, but straddled me and snickered. Then swiped her tears away.

"So you're giving me a second chance?" Her thighs hugged my hips and her hands rested on my chest.

"I'm giving you more than a second chance Cash Keller." As Piper took a deep breath her chest rose, and my eyes dropped to her chest. Her tits seemed bigger than before, or maybe I'd just missed them. She was saying she was giving me sex? And if that was the case, hell yes. I pulled her hips down and ground my hips upward.

"What are you giving me then?" I asked with a huge grin on my face. I couldn't wait to consummate this decision, that we'd shoot for a relationship--because that was what I wanted more than anything now.

"Well, look at the foods we ate. Tell me if you can guess a theme." Her eyes sparkled as she wiped them again, but the file didn't fade at all.

Confused, I leaned around her body and looked again the dishes of food. Carrots, peas, baby corn, and baby back ribs. I had no clue what she was talking about. So I shrugged and shook my head.

"Uh, vegetables?" I chortled and she shook her head again.

"Look closer..." As I looked down at the food, she named them one by one. "Baby peas, baby corn, baby carrots, baby back ribs..." The pregnant pause made the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stand on end. They all started with baby?

Baby what?

My eyes met hers again and I saw a fresh wave of tears well up as her hands collected the lapels of my shirt. "Cash... I'm pregnant." Her announcement smacked me like a stick on a piñata and my jaw dropped.

"What?" I asked her, in total shock. I had always wanted kids, but like my failed marriage, I just made the decision it wasn't happening for me because if I couldn't maintain a relationship and a career at the same time, how would I ever be a father too? And Leo was such a cool kid, I figured I would pour out my fatherly affection on him as an outlet, but this?

"I'm sorry. Oh my god, I knew it." Piper tried to climb off my lap as she continued talking but I held her there, pinned firmly in place, and her tears turned sadder. "I'm so sorry, Cash. I just... The condom broke, and I'd been feeling sick, and I didn't tell you because I didn't even know yet. I took the test in Chicago and--"

Before she could utter one more syllable of explanation I gripped both sides of her head and pulled her down, kissing her so hard it took her breath way. She pushed at my chest as I continued kissing her feverishly, but I didn't let up until she'd relaxed and started kissing me. Only then did I press my forehead to hers and breathe.

"I'm going to be a father?" I asked, feeling more joy than I knew what to do with.

"Yes?" she said, but it sounded like a question. As if she were asking whether it was okay that she was pregnant.

"Piper, you make me the happiest man alive. My god, you're so fucking incredible. I need you in my life. Say you'll do this thing with me..."

"Yes," she whimpered and again I kissed her, swallowing her words. Those kisses led to more kisses, which led to her clothing being in a pile on the floor next to mine and probably the hottest sex we'd ever had. And all of that dissolved into us lying together in her bed, dreaming of our future, and what a future that would be now.

Chapter 33

I stood by at the head of the room next to Dr. Jones and his superiors following my speech. Months after this entire ordeal began, it was coming to a close. We had only two weeks of our first year internship to complete and it couldn't come any sooner. My belly had started to protrude, and it was time to announce my pregnancy, now almost four months in progress, though we hadn't said a word to anyone about our relationship.

Cash stood in the back of the room after having been given his certificate of completion. Everyone in my group was advancing, even Kira--though I had no doubts about her or anyone else. I'd been given a great group of very intelligent doctors to work with and it was time for them to start their residencies. I was proud of them all.

Dr. Jones finished his talk and announced to each of them where they would land. Cash would move on toward his goal of a being a trauma doctor, as would a few of the others, but Kira and Tony had opted to move on and redirect their specialties. Eventually they'd all start their careers and I was grateful to have had the opportunity to work with them.

I, however, had passed on the opportunity to continue this role as chief resident instructing interns. My life was about to get very busy with raising a baby, and I wanted to really dive in and start my career. So I accepted the position of attending physician here at Hudson, with a goal of continuing on to a specialty once the baby was one year old and weaned.

Cash smiled at me and clapped when the positions had been announced and Dr. Jones dismissed us. He slipped out, but I knew he'd be waiting in the hall. Which is just where I found him, thankfully without Kira on his arm again. After several more hard rejections he'd finally let me take it into my hands and I had to reprimand her for her advances, which shut her down immediately. Word had it that she had moved on to Kip and that's why both of them were leaving the trauma residency.

"You look fantastic in that lab coat, Dr. Ellis," Cash said under his breath as I approached him. I glanced around to be sure no one heard him but my cheeks warmed. "Let me take you home and you can wear only the lab coat for me."

I walked past him and smirked, but dipped my chin to hide the expression. "I believe we have to go to Olivia and Jace's house for lunch?"

Cash followed at a few paces behind me as I headed down the hallway. Since the review board and everything that followed, we'd been very careful to ensure everything we did on hospital ground and at any work function was strictly professional. Eventually we would divulge our relationship to the board, as we were still technically coworkers despite moving to different departments in a few weeks' time. It was still frowned on but there were ways to get around the strict ban on inner-office relationships, like filing out a jillion forms declaring the relationship and agreeing not to work the same shifts in the same departments. I was nervous, but I'd seen other couples do it.

Outside in the parking lot, having arrived at different times to the same location--Cash's Jeep--he snuck me behind the vehicle and kissed me hard. I grinned and then pulled away from him.

"Dr. Keller, that's against hospital policy. I'm going to have to turn you in to the board." Our relationship had become so smooth and seamless, it almost felt like we were one now. Even the playful banter about him being my student and him being hot for teacher had become common place in our conversations.

"Well then, if you do that, you won't get to enjoy all of this," he said, gesturing from his shoulders to his knees and back up with a wink.

I climbed into his Jeep and buckled in and he climbed into the driver's side. I had never felt more at home than when I was with him. "You know I'm really glad we got all that nonsense about not having time for a relationship out of the way. I'm really happy with you, Cash."

He turned the key in the ignition and smirked at me. "Well, just wait until you have to live with me. You might change your mind."

Something told me this neat-freak of a doctor would be more than I could handle when his lease was up and he finally moved in. Keeping up appearances sucked, though he ended up spending four nights a week at my house anyway.

"What do you think Annalise will say about our choice of baby names?" He put the car in gear and headed out, and I sighed thoughtfully.

"I think she'll be honored if we find out it's a girl next week." My sonogram was scheduled and I was nervous to find out what the sex was. I wanted a girl--whom I would name Olivia Annalise, because of the two women in our lives who had virtually pushed us together in different ways. But Cash hoped for a boy, though he refused the name Cash for his son.

"We'll find out soon enough," I told him. Annalise had been invited to the cookout at Olivia's house to celebrate Cash's completion of his first year and my promotion. It felt like our story had come full circle in so many good ways. I loved Cash's family and though he hadn't met mine yet, I knew they'd love him too.

But as far as happily ever afters went, I felt like this wasn't mine. Instead, it was only the beginning of something really amazing, and I couldn't wait to see w here it took us both.