Momma Pam - Pt. 01

Momma Pam

This is a story about an 18-year-old male and his 36-year-old step mom trying to decide if they can make the transition from parent and child to lovers. It seemed like a Romance story, but after conferring on the Literotica Discussion Boards, the consensus is that a story involving a stepmom and stepson should be posted in the Incest area. Part 1 lays the foundation but be warned: No sex scenes.

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I concentrated at one of the few items reminding me of Mom. The framed photo on my desk was a three-year-old boy wearing a red, white, and blue outfit resembling the American flag. It was July 4th. I held a small flag in one hand and my favorite stuffed toy (a cat named Mr. Whiskers) in the other. Mother knelt beside me with a radiant smile and looked directly into the lens. Her blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail. Her arms held me in a loving hug. She wore a white button-down top, red shorts, and bright blue sneakers. Her blue eyes looked happy while I stared away, wanting to go play.

Three months later she died as surgeons worked to repair a previously undetected heart condition.

In January of the next year, Dad remarried. Her name was Pamela. I always called her "Momma Pam" at her suggestion. She loved me from day one.

I felt her hands on my shoulder as I stared at this link to my past.

"I am so proud of you, William, and so is your mom. You graduated high school with an excellent grade point average and leave for college in a few months. I remember the first time we met. You held that photo and looked at it, then looked at me, then back at the photo. Do you remember why?"

"I think I was comparing you with Mom. I wanted to see if you two were alike."

"That's correct. And do you remember what you discovered?"

"You and Mom have the same smile. Like you were twins."

"Correct again," she said.

I turned around in my chair and looked into her green eyes. Her red hair hung straight a few inches past her shoulders.

"I want to thank you for all the love and encouragement. You never acted like the stereotype 'evil stepmother'. You were always there for me and never felt threatened by Mom's memory."

A tear trailed from her eye.

"Sweetie, that is the nicest thing you could say to me. I have always seen myself as a steward of what your parents started. Never a replacement."

She acted like she wanted to say more. Momma Pam bent over and we hugged each other tight. She stood upright and declared, "I have a surprise. For your graduation gift, your father has booked a one-week vacation for us in New York City! We will be staying at the Pendry in Manhattan, and we have tickets for a couple of Broadway plays. There are also tickets to the Yankees and the Mets. And, we have a 24-hour dedicated chauffeur service so we can travel anywhere anytime."

"That is great!", I finally stammered. "Did you say us? Is Dad coming?"

"No, William. It is just the two of us. Your Dad has some pressing business."

There was something "off" about the last sentence. Her eyes and voice said there was more, but she didn't volunteer additional information. I decided not to press.

"When do we leave?"

"Sunday afternoon returning the following Sunday evening."

I stood and hugged her.

"Oh Momma Pam, thank you! I think you had a hand in this."

She returned the hug confessing, "Well, I may have helped a little. But the important thing is this is a graduation gift from your father and me."

I texted Dad thanking him for the trip. A few hours later he responded with a simple "You're welcome".

The flight to New York City was direct, and we travelled in first class. After landing at JFK and getting our luggage, we headed toward Transportation and found a driver holding up a sign reading "Pam & William Hargraves." She showed him her ID and the receipt. He led us to his car and drove us to the Pendry.

The hotel staff treated us like visiting dignitaries. Momma Pam had plenty of cash on hand for tips, which was duly appreciated.

The room was amazing! There was a large common area complete with a kitchenette, table for 6, 2 sofas, large screen televisions, and windows overlooking the skyline. Each bedroom had a king-size bed and its own bath. The week flew by. The Broadway plays were excellent, the Yankees and the Mets triumphed, and we ran ragged going to restaurants as well as sights recommended by the drivers.

Saturday night we lounged in the suite exhausted but happy. We sat on opposite sides of the curving sofa enjoying the stunning views.

"William, we need to talk."

No one ever says "we need to talk" when the news is good. I focused full attention on Momma Pam. She patted the cushion, so I scooted close to her.

"You know your father loves you even though he seems distant. Well, I'm afraid this trip has an ulterior motive."

"Dad is getting a sex change operation?" I said trying to lighten the mood after her long silence.

She smiled a bit and said, "No, nothing like that. Your father and I are getting divorced. This trip was to celebrate your high school graduation. After the plans were made and set in motion, he told me about the divorce. He thought it would be good to let you know while on this trip."

She put her face in her hands. I reached for the tissues on the table and moved next to her. We hugged and she buried her head on my shoulder. All I could think of doing was pat her back reassuringly, hand her tissues as needed, and whispering, "Everything will work out."

When she composed herself, I asked, "Why are you two divorcing? You two always seemed so happy."

"He wants to marry his administrative assistant. Looking back, he always liked younger wives. Your Mom was 10 years younger than him when they married. Your Dad is now almost 60 and his future bride is 23. She started as a summer intern about five years ago. After graduating from college, she became his Administrative Assistant."

I was dumbfounded. Dad and I have never been close. I didn't think he was this shallow.

"That bastard! I cannot believe he would do such a thing. Especially to someone as loving and caring as you."

She kissed my cheek and said, "Thank you for being such a wonderful son. I know you are my stepson but from day 1, you always seemed like my son. I am so proud of you, William."

After a brief silence, she asked, "Would you mind if we just sat like this through the night? I don't want to be by myself right now."

"Of course."

There was a faint stirring in my crotch, but it soon left. We fell asleep holding each other. My mind kept me from a restful sleep thinking about the news and wondering what Momma Pam would do after the divorce.

Our last breakfast in the hotel restaurant the next morning was bittersweet. The car service was waiting for us after we checked out. Before driving away from the airport, Momma Pam gave him a generous cash tip to be split among the 4 drivers. We didn't talk about last night.

Momma Pam texted Dad to say we had returned safe and sound. After unpacking, I came down the stairs and saw her in the living room staring at the cell phone and crying. I snatched the phone.

"Glad you're back. Thanks for telling him about the divorce. My things are in storage or at Julia's apartment. The house goes up for sale after the divorce. You are welcome to stay until it sells. You will receive a generous monthly settlement of $8,000 until you turn 65 or remarry. Also, you will receive 50% of the surplus after the house is sold and mortgage paid off."

I handed the phone back.

"I suppose that is a nice settlement. Nice of him to let you stay here until the house is sold. I guess he figures I will be in college by the time the house sells. Can I stay with you between semesters and maybe some weekends?"

"Oh William! It didn't dawn on me you were also being displaced. I doubt your father thought of that either. Of course, you can stay with me anytime you want."

The offer made me smile. Even though we were tired, we sat on the couch to watch TV. We were close but not touching. Nothing diverted us from Dad's text so I turned the TV off and asked if we could talk.

"Since you've had a little time to think about this, what are your plans after the divorce is finalized and the house is sold?"

Momma Pam started to cry again.

"I don't know," she wailed. "I'm 36 years old now and my degree from college is probably obsolete."

"What was your degree?"

"Elementary Education."

I moved closer. My arm was around her when I said, "Well, you have been busy educating me these past 15 years. That should count for something."

She touched my hand saying, "You are so kind. But you were never a problem child. I could not have asked for a better stepson if I had designed you from the ground up."

"How come you and Dad didn't have any more kids?" I asked. "Seems like your Elementary Ed degree would make you a natural for motherhood."

She bit her lower lip. "That was his decision. Based on what little he shared over the years, he never wanted children in the first place. Your Mom wanted a house filled with kids. Whether it was an accident, or she purposely went off birth control, I don't know. They had been married 3 years as I remember. Soon after you were born, he had a vasectomy. I asked if he ever considered reversing it and he said 'no' without hesitation. I never brought it up again."

After a long silence she added, "Like your mom, I was hoping for a big family also."

"I am losing more and more respect for him. I can't understand how he can be so cold."

"From what little he shared, he was an only child raised by uncaring parents. Or, at least, parents who had trouble saying they loved him."

"Maybe, " I conceded. "But I think he could have changed if he wanted to."

Momma Pam brightened as she changed subjects.

"I think you are old enough to know I had a secret weapon while raising you."

"Really, what was it?"

"Your Mom."

"I don't understand."

"I don't understand it completely myself to be honest. The first time I realized this was about a week after arriving. You were sitting on the floor all upset and crying. I checked and your pants were dry, there was no blood anywhere, and you had eaten a little while ago. For some reason, I thought, 'OK Susan, what should I do'? In an instant, an idea flashed in my head. I picked you up and said, 'Hey, little man; what's the problem?' You looked at me and calmly said Mr. Whiskers was lost. I put you down and we searched for him. You found him under the dining table and were so happy. You thanked me for sounding like your mom then walked away without a care in the world."

I had no recollection of the incident, but the story triggered a memory of Mom holding me and asking, "Hey, little man; what's the problem?"

"So, Mom talks with you?" I asked with skepticism.

"Not in the sense of hearing her voice or seeing her in a vision. But immediately after asking what I should do and getting such a strong idea, I decided it was your mom helping me. And from that day to this, whenever there has been a problem with you, I ask her what I should do and an answer suddenly appears. I talked with a psychiatrist because I was afraid of going insane. She assured me I was sane. Asking your mom, in her opinion, was a crutch which allowed my mind to relax and be more open to a solution. But she never could explain how that phrase entered my head since I had never met Susan."

I felt great calm and peace. Mom was still around and helping when needed. It was the most wonderful feeling I ever experienced. I hugged Momma Pam.

"Thank you for sharing that. Have you asked her for guidance on your plans?"

Her face looked sad and confused.

"Yes."

"What did Mom say?"

"All that came to mind was 'wait,'" she sighed.

"I don't understand."

"Neither do I," said Momma Pam.

We talked a little more about the New York trip and the many memories. When we yawned within a few seconds of each other, I followed her upstairs. We hugged, and I kissed her forehead.

"This will all work out for the best. I don't know how, but it will."

The bear hug felt wonderful. Then we went to our bedrooms. I lay on my bed thinking about Mom and what Momma Pam had shared. I decided to take a shot at communicating and mentally composed the message, "Where will Momma Pam go after the house is sold"? A reply formed almost immediately, which said, "With you".

Those words hit me with a jolt. They were so clear. I was scared. So now my tired brain was arguing with itself instead of letting me sleep. This is how I remember the exchange.

"Take her with me? I'm going to college".

"Correct".

"Where will she live?"

"Off-campus".

"Will I live with her?".

"No".

"Why"?

"Freshmen must live on campus, remember?".

"What do I say to my classmates? This is my former stepmom, who is now divorced from my Dad".

"Maybe".

"How else would I introduce her"?

"Your wife".

I sat bolt upright. My mind was reeling. Was this a conversation with Mom? Was this a long-buried fantasy coming to the surface? Was this a hallucination? I stayed awake a few more hours trying to make sense of the exchange. Exhaustion finally lulled me to sleep.

The next morning, Momma Pam asked, "Are you OK? You look tired."

I played with my breakfast before confessing, "I had a very restless night. Do you have time to talk after breakfast?"

"I always have time for you, William."

We continued with breakfast, exchanging more memories of the recent trip. After putting the dishes in the sink, we went to the living room. Momma Pam sat on her recliner while I was on the couch.

"So, what made your night so restless?"

"I'm still unnerved. If things sound disjointed, stay patient with me, please."

She leaned forward with clasped hands in her lap.

"You remember telling me about Mom answering questions?"

She nodded. Her face was neutral.

"Well, I tried it last night, asking Mom where you will go after the house is sold. The answer came instantly. It was 'with you'. The gist of it was we would live off campus and I would explain to people you were my wife."

Momma Pam leaned forward. Her eyebrows creased, and her mouth was open.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked.

"Yes! I don't think this was a buried fantasy or a hallucination. It felt so real. Do you think this was a message from Mom?"

There was a long silence before she asked, "You're certain you've never entertained ideas of having sex with me or marrying me before last night?"

"Nothing that I can remember. I admit you have a beautiful body, but you always dress so modestly that I've never felt like you were flaunting yourself or trying to tempt me. I can't think of a time I've touched you inappropriately or said something that crossed a boundary. You've always been my Momma Pam."

She looked deep into my eyes. Finally, she said, "I believe you, William."

"Thanks. Any idea why such a thought appeared in my mind?"

Momma Pam moved and sat next to me on the couch. She took my hand and said, "I asked a similar question last night. And the response was to move to school with you and get a place off campus. My objections to this ended when the voice said to marry you. After that, there was nothing."

"What are the odds of us having the same thoughts if it wasn't Mom?" I wondered out loud.

"Pretty slim."

"Do you want to talk more about this?"

She looked away, then back at me and declared, "Not right now. I think we both need time to think about what we just shared. Let's take this up after dinner."

We hugged, then stood and went about the day, trying to act normal. We weren't exactly zombies but concentrating on anything was difficult. I read and re-read postings online or repeated events on video games that I usually sailed through. Even when I left the house to hang out with friends, they had to repeat themselves because I missed what was said. I tried covering it up with the excuse of returning to reality after the New York City trip, but it wasn't very convincing. Mentioning the upcoming divorce seemed to explain my distraction.

By the time we finished dinner, I was ready to pounce on the topic of our dreams, yet also scared.

Momma Pam asked, "Would you like to talk at the dinner table or in the living room?"

"I think the living room."

We sat at opposite ends of the couch.

She broke the ice saying, "I don't know about you, but this has been a weird day. I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything."

I laughed, replying, "You too?"

"William," she began, "I've given a lot of thought to what we shared. As I'm sure you have. My day was spent racking my brain trying to see if I ever sent you a message of physical attraction or attempted seduction. Or if I ever felt such feelings toward you. Nothing came to mind. Unless all the hugs, along with kisses to your forehead and cheeks, were some sort of signal over the years. I don't think so because then practically every mother would be guilty of incest instead of love and reassurance."

"I agree. No situation came to mind where I thought you were showing anything but love."

She waited a moment, then said, "Having said that, I don't think we can ignore our mutual dreams and the message. So, I propose we do nothing until the divorce is finalized. Once that is complete, we can talk about dating. If we are still interested in each other, then I want it to be over a period of 6 months."

"Why 6 months? That seems like a long time for two people who have known each other for 15 years."

"Because we have known each other as stepmother and stepson. I think it will take us that long to transition to a young man dating a woman twice his age. At the end of 6 months, it should be clear if we want to pursue the relationship."

The remaining few days of June through the first week of July were normal for two people trying to ignore an elephant in the room. I hung out with friends and stayed very lazy. The week after July 4th until mid-August was spent at a resident camp two hours from town. This camp was part of my summer since I was 10 and held many great memories.

At camp, Momma Pam and I emailed daily. A couple of times, I raised a question about dating, but she ignored me. A week before camp ended, her email said the divorce was finalized effective yesterday. She asked if we could save questions about dating until I returned home.

She surprised me in an email a couple of days later, stating she would pick me up at camp instead of me riding a bus back to town. When she arrived, we quickly loaded my things and headed home.

After discussing the safe topic of how I enjoyed camp, I asked, "How are you doing now that the divorce is done?"

"OK, I suppose. Your father continues to live at Julia's place, and the house is on the market. There is interest but no offers yet."

"I head off to college in about 2 weeks. Will you be moving there when I move?"

"I will stay until the house sells, William. That way, I can work with the realtor, reduce the risk of robbery or vandalism, and keep the house looking nice for potential buyers."

We were silent for a few miles. My courage finally grew enough to ask, "Would you like to begin dating before I leave for college?"

Her hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"I want to talk with you about dating."

"Sure," I replied. "What do you want to discuss?"

"Not right now," said Momma Pam. "I want us to talk at home when I can give this my full attention."

She handed me a small sack of mail. There were a couple of envelopes on the remaining paperwork for college, various ads on student loans, insurance, Uber and Door Dash services at the school, banks near the campus, and invitations to a few end-of-summer / heading-off-to-college parties. By the time I finished the mail, we were in the driveway.

We unloaded the SUV. Momma Pam volunteered to take care of the dirty laundry while I unpacked. As the last bag was emptied, a text message invited me to meet with some friends for a gaming party. I verified with Momma Pam and agreed to be home by 9:00 so we could begin talking about our future.

The gaming party was fun, but we all seemed sad with the idea this might be our last time together.

A little before 9:00, I texted Momma Pam that I was coming home and asked if she wanted me to pick up some dinner. She replied pizza was on its way and should arrive soon. The kitchen smelled divine! I had forgotten the wonderful flavor of this local pizza. I devoured half of the large pie while Momma Pam ate a couple of slices.

"They didn't feed you at camp or at the gaming party?" she asked, amused at my rapid eating.

"Not like this pizza!" I replied between bites.

We looked at each other as I finished a final swig of soda.

After an awkward silence, she asked, "Are you ready to talk about us possibly dating?"

"Definitely!"

I stood up and she followed me into the living room. I sat on the couch while she landed in her recliner. Her hands were tightly clasped on the chair arms.

"William, I know we both experienced a strange dream with your mom. I also know you are 18 and I am 36. I am still not sure if your mother spoke to us or not. Based on my experiences with her, I am willing to pursue this idea about us being together. But I want some certainty. So, I propose we begin dating after you begin school, and I move to an apartment off campus. Moving to your school will be after the house is sold."

"Why not begin dating now?"

"There are too many images and memories here of us as stepmom and stepson. I prefer we be in neutral territory to focus on each other as individuals. That means you will call me Pam while we date. If at any time during our dating, either of us realizes this is not going to work out, we tell the other and revert to Momma Pam."

"What if I have a question meant for Momma Pam?"

"Then you will need to decide if a stepmom or a potential wife is more important. If you think the issue needs a Momma Pam response, then the dating experiment is over, and we go back to the roles we know. On the other hand, you can ask my advice as Pam and I will do my best to respond like one adult talking with another.

"Are you OK, William? You look like you are having second thoughts."

"Not really second thoughts because I still want to date you. But the idea of our relationship changing from Mom and stepson to potential lovers is sinking in."

"That's a good thing, William. It shows maturity. Do you want to pursue this idea?"

I hesitated for a long moment. "Yes. I want to know whether or not those messages were from Mom."

"I want to resolve it also. You understand we will date for 6 months and there will be no sex?"

"No sex? How come?"

"Because raging primal hormonal instincts could cloud our judgment about each other. I think not having sex for 6 months is a good sign we are serious about each other as possible life partners."

"Sounds reasonable. Will we be expected to date each other exclusively?"

"No. BUT, if either of us wants to date someone else, we must immediately inform the other. Sneaking around with another person while still dating is not fair to either of us. And it is a signal we no longer want to date exclusively, but are too afraid to say so. Which, to me, means the relationship should end."

"You are right. I agree with these conditions.

"I'm glad. To summarize, we will not be dating until I move down to your college. We will date for 6 months. There will be no sex between us. If either of us decides to date another person, we will tell each other immediately before dating begins. We will then decide on a plan of action. After 6 months, we will evaluate our feelings toward each other and determine if we can or want to make the transition as adults in a committed relationship. Fair enough?"

"Sounds well thought out and fair," I replied. "Thank you for putting so much consideration into this."

Momma Pam blushed slightly as she related, "Well, I had a lot of conversations with your mom while you were at camp. Mainly trying to talk myself out of this idea of us dating. But she seemed determined we hammer out an understanding. I am still not sure if this is an elaborate trick in my brain or if it is an exchange with Susan."

"Since we are confessing, I sent a lot of questions to Mom while at camp. The only response I got was 'wait'.

There was silence, then I yawned and stretched my arms.

"I am getting sleepy. Think I will go to bed now."

We stood and hugged briefly, then went to our respective bedrooms.

Two days later, the realtor informed Momma Pam of an offer at the full asking price. She said the offer was fine, but since the house is in her ex-husband's name, he will have the final say. Within a few days, a notice was sent via email from Dad.

"I approved the sale today. The new owners will move in on Labor Day weekend starting on Friday, September 1st. The house needs to be vacant by August 31st. $8,000 is in your checking account to cover August. The deposits will be made on the first day of the month starting in September."

Momma Pam forwarded the email to me.

"Well, looks like dear old Dad still hasn't remembered I am also here. No matter since classes begin next Tuesday. What are your plans since the deadline to leave the house is a couple of weeks away?"

She looked sad. Like being told there was a death in the family.

"I don't know William. His email was succinct and cold. Like dismissing a servant he never liked."

I hugged her shoulders from behind as she prepared the spaghetti. She patted my hand and whispered, "Thank you."

I finished setting the table while coping with a minor erection and stealing glances at her sexy body. We sat down for a lunch of spaghetti, meatballs, Caesar salad, and iced tea.

We ate in silence until my cell phone buzzed. It was an email from Dad telling me to select a vehicle at Newbury Cars. All I need to do is choose. The cost, title charge, and taxes would be covered by him. I shared the news with Momma Pam.

"Can we discuss plans for the next couple of weeks?"

She looked up and replied, "Of course. Help me clean off the table and load the dishwasher."

After the kitchen tasks were finished, we walked to the living room and assumed our regular seats.

"Looks like a busy weekend for us," I declared.

"How so?"

I was expecting polite agreement rather than a question. I hesitated a bit before collecting my thoughts.

"Well.... there is a car to pick out, load it up with my things, followed by driving down to the university. After that is unloading, getting settled in..... then....."

"Then what?"

"I thought since you had some money in your account........ you would..... that is we would...... drive down in two cars...... and you could be looking for an apartment or house to rent...... so we...... could......"

"Could what?" she asked.

"You are not making this easy, are you?"

Her grin was so cute.

Taking a deep breath, I said, "So we could begin dating. That is, if you want to."

"What makes you think I want to date?"

I sensed she enjoyed making me squirm.

"So we can prove to each other if we want to make the transition from stepmom and stepson to a possible couple."

Momma Pam smiled and replied, "I just wanted to be sure we were on the same page. I've found a few which look promising. Naturally, the rent goes down for dwellings further from campus. I found a couple for $1,200 a month plus bills, and another one for $1,350 a month. While you are getting checked in, I will look at them and decide which one I want."

"Why can't I tag along and help you decide?"

"Because, William, you will be living in a dorm. Where I live is my choice."

"Are you OK with us caravaning down on Sunday?"

"No, we need to leave early on Saturday. I have appointments already booked for the three on Saturday afternoon."

Her sly grin was in full gear now.

"Then you will spend the night and come back on Sunday?" I asked in a hopeful voice.

"We will have dinner and then I will drive back Saturday evening. The hotels are all booked up with parents needing a night to rest before heading home on Sunday. Besides, I want to pack my things and be available for any last-minute issues with the house."

"Would our having dinner on Saturday be considered our first date?"

"Afraid not, William. Our first date will not be until after I am moved in and settled. Let's say our first date will begin in early September. That means our last date will be around the first of March. By then, we should know where our relationship is going."

I took in all this information and finally asked, "Would you mind coming with me to Newbury Cars to choose a vehicle?"

"I would love to. What do you think of going this afternoon?"

I wanted a sporty sedan. She suggested going practical to haul all my things to and from college. I chose a new SUV, which would seat 5 and still had lots of storage.

We caravaned to my new school early Saturday morning, arriving a little before noon. Once she was satisfied the initial paperwork was in order for me to move into Drury Dormitory, we hugged, and she drove off to look at her possible new digs. Just as I finished unpacking the last of my things, she texted and suggested we meet at a nearby restaurant named "Keegan's Place" a few blocks off campus. I agreed and was there in about 10 minutes.

I saw her at a table toward the back.

"So, did you find a place?"

"I did! It's a nice townhouse for $1,200 a month and about 3 miles from the campus. Plenty of parking and ready to move in. I put down a deposit and phoned the movers to come by the house on the 31st."

"Great! Can I see it?"

"Sure. We will look at it after we eat."

The late lunch went by quickly. I couldn't remember the last time she seemed so happy.

"Did you have any exchanges with Mom today?" I inquired.

"Why do you ask?"

"I haven't seen you looking so happy since we were in New York City."

She looked down for a moment, then directly into my eyes.

"I haven't talked with Susan since we last talked about her. But today, I no longer felt rudderless. I know where I will be living. I am starting a new chapter in my life. And...."

"And?"

"And.... we will explore dating each other," she confessed.

"What is making you blush, Momma Pam?"

"I don't know, William. Part of it is I want to know if we are compatible as two adults rather than stepmom and stepson. Part of it is feeling free of the weight of committing incest with you since I am divorced. I realize we have no genetic connection, but as long as I was your stepmom, incest was a concern. Now that I am single, that worry is gone. And the rest of it seems to be the excitement of being on my own for the first time in 15 years."

"Well, that makes sense," I agreed. "Are you ready to show me this new place?"

"Absolutely!"

After a grand tour, we sat on the kitchen counters.

"Momma Pam, the place is gorgeous!"

"You like it?"

"Definitely. 2 bedrooms and 2 full baths, a living room, satellite connections, a fully loaded kitchen, and a little balcony to watch the sunrise. The bedrooms look to be about the same size. Which one is yours and which is mine?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Now it was my turn to blush.

"I..... I.... I just assumed I would have a bedroom for any time I stayed overnight," I stammered.

"Think again, William. Freshmen are required to stay in the dorm. We will date for 6 months, remember? You might be invited for dinner sometimes, but you are not spending the night here. Clear?"

After an awkward silence, I replied, "You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. Sorry."

"It's OK. Both of us need to adjust to this new situation. Remember the ground rules we discussed. And when I move in, please call me Pam. That should make dating a little more real."

Momma Pam looked at her cell phone clock and sighed.

"William, I need to head back. This was a great day for both of us. I hope this first week of school goes well for you."

"Thanks. I hope you have a safe drive. Let me know when you arrive back safe and sound, please."

We met in the middle of the kitchen and hugged cautiously. I picked up some tacos for dinner on my way back to campus. Back at the dorm, I checked with the Resident Assistant for my floor. It seems my roommate moved to another dorm, so I am paying a double room fee, but I am the only occupant. Happy to have a room to myself, I ate and enjoyed the quiet of a private dorm room while streaming some movies and feasting on tacos. Momma Pam texted a few hours later that she arrived home without problems.

The week went well. Sunday was spent wandering around the campus so I would know where my classes were. There was "the strip" to explore, which had a variety of restaurants, bookstores, pubs, and clothing stores. The first week of classes was good. Evenings were dedicated to studying and trying to get ahead of the assignments. I made a few friends and we hung out a few times.

The next week, while waiting for Momma Pam to be moved in, a group of us were at Drake's Landing enjoying some drinks and watching games on the big screen TVs. One of the guys, Jim, looked up and signaled a group of girls who had just walked in to join our table. As we arranged chairs and made introductions, a striking brunette named Julia sat next to me.

Her blue eyes were not afraid to look directly at me. The shoulder-length black hair accentuated her face nicely. She was average height and build, wearing a simple sundress which was not too revealing. Julia's perfume was just strong enough to notice without being overwhelming. Even her glasses complemented her perfectly.

The chemistry between us seemed automatic. After a few introductory sentences, we talked exclusively to each other. Neither of us noticed the others leaving the table until it was just us. We looked around, surprised, then laughed.

I walked her back to her dorm. She kissed my cheek before going in and said, "It was great meeting you, William. I hope we can do it again sometime soon." Then she asked for my phone and typed in her number. I sent her a text confirming the number.

I walked on air back to my dorm. Just as I entered my room, Momma Pam sent a text which read, "Whew! Boxes are unpacked and everything is put away. Long day but glad it is all finished."

I texted back, "Glad you are moved in. What are you doing Saturday? Maybe we can meet for breakfast or lunch?"

There was a short delay. Then she called.

"William? The weather forecast is calling for a warm sunny day. How would you like to have breakfast at a park near me? Your choice of Wendy's, McDonald's, or Panera Bread. My treat."

"I've always had a weakness for those sausage gravy and biscuits from Wendy's. How about 2 of those and a large Coke?"

"Will do. 8:00 OK for you?"

"That is fine. Is this our first date?"

Another silence, then she responded, "No. More like our last time as stepmom and stepson."

"Is everything OK? You sound sad."

She hesitated before saying, "Everything is fine. I just need to talk about the future. Sorry if I sound sad. More likely just tired from the move."

We said our goodbyes and hung up.

SEPTEMBER

The weather fit the forecast perfectly. I arrived a little before 8:00 and waited. She drove up a few minutes later and parked next to me. I helped by carrying the drinks while we walked to an isolated picnic table. The birds sang various melodies while squirrels looked for nuts. The smell of newly mowed grass was evident. We sat and ate in silence.

She looked off in the distance and reached for my hands.

"William, I have a confession to make."

She was quiet, sighed, then said, "While I was moving in, one of my neighbors, Bill Blakewell, helped me unpack after bringing a welcome basket of some food and wine. He was a perfect gentleman like you. He is a year older than me and asked if we could go on a date today. I told him I wasn't sure but would get back with him. Then you and I texted and agreed to breakfast, so I told Bill this afternoon would be fine."

Her face looked like she had betrayed me.

"This is so weird," I replied. "Thursday evening, I met a girl. We seemed to hit it off well. She gave me her number and kissed my cheek as I left her dorm. I was honestly torn about saying anything because I didn't want to hurt you. This all happened so suddenly."

We looked at each other in silence.

I talked with Mom about Julia and asked if I should date her. The response was, "Try it and see. You might be surprised." That stunned me, as I expected a strong statement that you and I should be dating.

Momma Pam looked shocked as she said, "I asked her the same question about Bill. The response was the very same words."

After staring at each other dumbfounded, I asked, "So, what do we do now?"

"It looks like we have found possible love interests closer to our age. Your Mom seems to be encouraging us to explore this. What do you think about putting our dating on hold until we know where this is going with Bill and Julia?"

"I think that is a good idea. I wasn't expecting this to happen."

"Neither did I."

I squeezed her hand and said, "More than anything, I want you to be happy. So, we'll see where these forks in the road lead and stay in touch."

She looked relieved, quietly saying, "I agree."

We talked about my classes and her new place. Neither of us heard from Dad. The agreement continued to be honored by him as another deposit was made to her new account here. We ran out of things to discuss, said final goodbyes, and went our separate ways.

OCTOBER

While I enjoyed Julia very much, thoughts of Pam were never far away, with occasional erections as I tried undressing her mentally. This was followed by guilt for trying to see my stepmom naked. We stayed in touch with emails and texts but shared nothing about our dating situations.

Julia and I were a couple. By the end of October, I knew where we stood. A text to Momma Pam asking to meet at the same park was responded to within a few minutes with a succinct "yes". We agreed on a time and that I would provide breakfast from Wendy's. When I arrived, she was sitting at the same table we had met before. I brought the food and drinks to see an agitated face.

Before I could ask what was wrong, she said, "It is good to see you, William. How are things with you and Julia?"

"We broke up yesterday evening."

"What happened?"

"I discovered she is a control freak. She has no patience with traffic as a passenger or driver. No matter how minor the error is, Julia needs to correct me. But if SHE makes a mistake, she either denies it, or I am being petty, or she'll argue until I give up. Also, she needs to have the last word in any discussion. And finally, there are no valid opinions except hers. And she has an opinion on everything! I blocked her on my phone, but I have a feeling I am being crucified on various sites."

Momma Pam still looked bothered after offering the appropriate sympathy. I decided to change the subject.

"How are things with you and Bill?"

She cleared her throat then replied, "Rocky right now."

"How come?"

"Bill has a gambling problem. He tried borrowing $500 but wouldn't explain why. When I pressed for an answer, he said there were no groceries due to unforeseen expenses. I offered to accompany him to the grocery store and buy some food. Bill said he wanted the money to buy his own food. I thought this was a male pride issue, so I offered to fix us dinner and help lay out a budget until he was back on his feet. He seemed Ok with that idea. As the food was cooking, I asked about the unforeseen situations, and he became angry. I left the room to collect my thoughts and dry my eyes. He did not hear me return because I found him rifling through my purse. He claimed my cell phone was ringing and was trying to answer it. That's when I produced the cell phone from my pants pocket. He started crying and confessed it was to cover gambling debts. Then he admitted his total debt was $15,000. I asked him if he was enrolled in Gamblers Anonymous, and he declared he didn't have a gambling problem. He was having a run of bad luck. That's when I told him to leave."

We stared at each other in silence for about two minutes.

"Well, Mom did say we might be surprised. I just figured she meant it in a positive way."

"What will you and Bill do now?"

She sighed and crossed her arms. Looking across the park, she said, "He is a member of Gamblers Anonymous since I gave him an ultimatum of joining or losing me. I am attending Gam-Anon. That's a support group for family and friends of someone with a gambling addiction."

"Have you asked Mom what to do?"

Pam threw up her arms and yelled, "Of COURSE I have! Susan is not saying a damned thing! I am so scared and confused right now. Am I supposed to support Bill as he goes through this dark tunnel? Should I stop seeing him? And why is Susan so quiet?"

The outburst caused me to lean back. Then I tilted forward and asked, "Has he asked you for any more money?"

"William, I am sorry for yelling at you. I hope you can forgive me. And, no, he hasn't asked for any more money. But I keep a close eye on my wallet and check my bank accounts daily to be sure he is not trying to fool me."

"What is your gut instinct about this relationship with Bill?"

She clasped her hands and brought them up under her chin.

"I don't like it. But then I wonder if I am the one who can help him overcome this addiction? I think there is a good man under all this mess. I want to help him rediscover that good man."

"Well," I said, "it sounds like you have decided to hang in there for now. He is a lucky man. I hope everything works out for you two."

She put a hand on my arm.

"Thank you, William. You are so thoughtful and kind. Will you consider dating someone now that Julia broke up with you?"

"In time. I'll talk with Mom a little later. I'm in no rush."

The long silence was broken when she declared, "It seems we have nothing more to say. Thanks for the update, and I am sorry things did not work out with Julia. Keep me informed, please."

"Will do. And good luck with Bill. I hope Mom gives you ideas which are for the best."

We stood. Momma Pam noticed my prominent erection. She grinned slightly, saying, "Not getting much action, are you?"

With a sunset red face, I replied, "Nope. I guess not."

We hugged carefully, then went to our cars.

NOVEMBER

After that last meeting, Pam was the only thing on my mind except for studies. I hoped she and Bill would break up. Then, she would contact me and we would abandon this silly 6-month rule. The sex would be great. Her nude body was sexier each time my mind played the scenario. The guilt lectures about sex with my stepmom were less frequent. We texted, emailed, and phoned, but I kept the fantasies from her.

A text from Pam appeared late one afternoon in early November asking when we could meet. I responded tonight was available. We agreed to meet at Keegan's at 7:00.

After the food order was taken, I asked Pam what was up.

"Bill and I are through", she said in a cold tone.

"What happened?"

"After you asked if he requested any more money, I realized we were seeing each other like every third day or so. I knew he was going to Gamblers Anonymous one day a week so that got me to wondering what else he might be doing. That is when I got one of those jolts from Susan urging me to see what he does after the GA meeting. I parked far enough away so he wouldn't see me. When the meeting broke up, Bill walked out with his arm around a pretty young thing. He walked her to her car, they kissed a few times, then went their separate ways. I drove around for a while feeling hurt and angry before getting back to the townhouse. Her car was parked on the street. I went to my place. When I heard him drive up, I peeked out and saw him carrying a couple of pizzas. This was the man who repeatedly thanked me for sticking with him and declared there was no one else but me in his life. And who couldn't afford take out food. When I emptied some trash the next morning, her car was still there."

"WOW! What did you do?"

"He came over that evening. I asked if he wanted some pizza, and he said no because he had some last night. I asked if he and the woman at his place enjoyed it. The idiot blurted out, 'very much' then caught himself. I told him to leave and never contact me again. He said it was a one-time thing and that breaking up would make him quit GA. I told him leaving GA was his choice, not mine. He argued long and hard, but I kept saying we are over. He texted me constantly after leaving until I blocked him. I think he finally gave up."

"Momma Pam, I am so sorry this happened. Sounds like you did your best."

"Whether I did my best or not, I know when I kicked him out, a lot of tension left me. I felt at ease for the first time since catching him trying to steal money."

"Well," I said, trying to be nonchalant, "I haven't been dating since we last met. I think Julia may have had a hand in that, along with my not actively trying to date. Do you think we could date now that we are free agents again?"

Momma Pam grinned and said, "I would like that very much."

"As I recall the ground rules, we will date for 6 months, which now means early November until early May. There will be no sex between us. If either of us decides to date another person, we will tell each other immediately before the dating begins and decide on a plan of action. After 6 months, we will evaluate our feelings toward each other and decide if we can or want to make the transition to adults in a committed relationship. Am I missing anything?"

"You left out that beginning with the first date, you will call me Pam. I would like to add a couple of items, William."

"OK. What?"

"First, you will initiate all dates. Call me old-fashioned, but I think it is up to the man to ask the woman out. Second, never presume you can walk in my place uninvited. Third, you will pay for all food and entertainment unless we agree beforehand. Fourth, when we are in public, you will introduce me as Pam, and I will introduce you as William. We will never mention our prior relationship as stepmom and stepson."

"Those sound reasonable," I replied. "Would you join me for dinner at Drake's Landing tomorrow evening?"

"I would love to."

"Would you like to meet me there, or may I come to your place and pick you up?"

"Since this is our first date, to be safe, I will meet you at Drake's. What time?"

"Will 6:00 PM work for you?"

"Yes, that is fine," she said with that beautiful broad smile.

We visited a little longer, then parted. Tomorrow evening could not come fast enough. I arrived at Drake's about 5:50 and was seated at a table where I could see the doorway. Promptly at 6:00, Pam walked in wearing a simple dark blue knee-length skirt and plain white top.

I stood and held out my hand. "It is good to see you. Did you have any trouble finding the place?"

"No. I've eaten here before," she said, gently shaking my hand.

I rushed around and pulled out her chair then pushed it back in. The waiter took our drink order. By the time she returned, we had placed a food order. Then silence.

"Why am I so nervous?" I asked.

"I think it is partly because in our previous life, I was usually the one in charge. And you are dating an older woman, which may make you feel ill at ease," she replied with an amused smile.

"In all the years I have known you, I never noticed how graceful you are until."

"Why, thank you, William. I studied dancing for a few years and still do yoga."

More awkward silence.

"Have you decided on a major or still undeclared?" she inquired.

"I think it will be in programming with an emphasis on artificial intelligence."

She looked at me admiringly. The food arrived, and we continued visiting for another hour or so.

I walked Pam to her car. She turned and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you for a wonderful evening, William. I hope we can see each other again soon."

"What are you doing Tuesday evening?" I impulsively asked.

"I am free so far as I know. What time and where?"

"Well, since this evening went so well, how about Drake's Landing at 6:00 again?"

"It's a date," she firmly responded.

I closed her car door and watched her drive away. When I returned to the dorm, I lay in bed thinking about Pam and this transition from stepmom to a hot woman running through my mind. Then images of Momma Pam listening to me read aloud or helping me with homework when I was a kid caused my erection to go down almost instantly.

Our next meeting at Drake's started out much like last time. I was early, she was on time. She wore a wine-red skirt and pale yellow top.

After placing our drink and food order, I asked, "I know nothing about your life aside from your degree in education. What about your parents or siblings?"

Pam looked at the far wall, collected her thoughts, and said, "Nothing much to tell. I grew up in the same house from birth through high school. Both parents died while I was in college. They had come to see me and attend one of our great football rivalry games with State. They stayed the night and drove home Sunday afternoon. The road was dry, the sun was out, but a drunk driver crossed the median and collided with them head-on."

A few tears escaped her eyes. She quickly grabbed the napkin and wiped them away. I reached across and held her hands.

"I am so sorry to hear this. I had no idea."

"It's alright," she whispered. "Thank you."

"Any brothers or sisters?" I asked after a long silence.

"One brother. Older. Jeff. Haven't talked with him since the funeral."

"Do you want to talk about this?" I asked.

Our food arrived before she could answer.

After a few bites, she said, "Would you mind talking about Jeff at my place?"

"I would be glad to come over for a little while, Pam."

It still felt a little awkward using her first name. Because of our mutual silence, we finished the meal quickly. I paid for dinner and followed her home. Once inside, I saw the familiar living room furnishings from the house. I sat down on the couch while Pam glided to the recliner. Her calm voice and clenched fists made a striking contrast as she shared the story.

"My brother, Jeff, was and is a rebel. After the burial and reception, he declared he was moving to Puerto Rico once the estate was settled. He loved the climate and felt there were many opportunities. He's been there ever since. Jeff sends me a Christmas card via email with no message or update on what he is doing.

I thanked her for sharing about her brother. We talked about her recent decision to see a counselor next week about what it would take to be certified as a teacher. We stood and hugged. Too late, I realized the noticeable erection rubbing against her body.

"I am flattered you find a woman twice your age attractive," she said in a sultry voice.

"I..... I..... do..... I mean I don't...... I..... mean....."

Her index finger pressed against my lips to stop further babbling.

"It's OK, William. Truth be told, I felt a minor stirring when we hugged. I think it's time for you to leave."

"I would like to talk about these physical reactions from just our second date, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind, William. I appreciate your honesty."

We sat in our regular seats.

I gathered my courage and asked, "If we are getting aroused just from hugging on our second date, do we need to wait 6 months before having sex?"

"Speaking for myself", said Pam, "waiting is necessary. If we give in to desires now, how will we know this is a stable and loving relationship?"

"Is this you or Mom talking?"

"Both."

"Arguing with one woman is hard, but against two, it is impossible, " I said, grinning. "I will try to control future erections, but no promises."

Pam laughed. "I appreciate your self-control. And I will do my best to quell any arousal I might feel around you, William. Like I said earlier, your erection is flattering because it means you are transitioning from a stepson to an adult who is interested in a fellow adult."

"Does it bother you to be stimulated just by hugging me?"

"A little. But keep in mind, we are trying to see if we are compatible on many levels besides sex. I think it is natural for arousal to occur as we share more and more about ourselves. Why does it bother you to enjoy an erection when with me?"

"Well..... because...... you were my stepmom. A wonderful stepmom, by the way. I suppose it is because I see you as a stepmom and a beautiful woman. And...... I've enjoyed many fantasies of you naked in bed with me."

"Was I willing, or did you force me into bed?"

"It always seemed consensual because being in bed is where the fantasy begins."

"Any guilt?"

"At first, yes. During sex, there would be images of you fully clothed. My erection shrank, and I just lay in bed, frustrated. But over time, the Momma Pam images didn't appear as often and recently went away completely. Why are you blushing?"

"I am pleased you see me as so desirable. And I confess my stirrings are getting stronger when I think of you. But I still want to pursue this until we are both satisfied this relationship will work for us, or it won't. And that means waiting 6 months before sex. Shall we try another hug?"

We stood and hugged. I held her against me. The erection was still there, although not as pronounced. She kissed my forehead this time and said, "I enjoyed our date and talk afterward very much."

"So did I. Can we meet again on Friday evening?"

"I would love that, William."

"I will text you with a place and time."

We broke the hug while Pam escorted me to the front door. I turned and kissed her cheek, then walked to my car. She stood at the door until I drove away. Back at the dorm, I opened my laptop and looked for a restaurant like Keegan's. I found one called Vincent's Seafood Place. The reviews were positive, and the photos made it seem like a nice place to eat. I texted Pam about picking her up at 6:00 PM. She responded quickly with a simple "Looking forward to it."

She was more beautiful than usual when she opened the door. Her hair was restyled to better accentuate her face. The pale blue top was still conservative in style, but tighter, better emphasizing her womanly curves. The complementary dark blue skirt wrapped snugly around her waist and stopped just below the knees. The shoes were also dark blue with small heels. We held hands, and I kissed her cheek.

"What is that perfume?"

"Mantrap".

"Are you sure you want to go out for dinner?"

After a short pause, she said, "I might be misreading your question. Are you suggesting we stay here and make out?"

"Frankly, yes."

"William, you flatter me. There is a part of me which wants to accept your offer. And there is a part of me which says it is way too soon."

"Could we talk about it?" sounding like a little boy.

She bit her lower lip before replying, "Let's eat first. We will come back here and talk."

Pam shared she had talked with an advisor at the college and learned she needed only a few classes to renew her elementary education certificate. I remember being happy for her, but I have no recollection of the food or what we talked about. My attention was torn between her beauty and anticipating the talk at her place. I remember driving away from Vincent's. We walked in and went immediately to our assigned seats.

Pam leaned forward, clasped hands on her lap, and began the conversation.

"What does making out mean to you, William?"

"Well.... uh..... kissing..... holding each other....... maybe French kissing......," while my face burned red.

"Anything involving my breast or your penis?" she asked with a wry smile.

I felt trapped. Gulping, I timidly replied, "Yes."

"What, exactly?"

"Pam.... you're embarrassing me. Finally, I blurted out, "Touching your breasts, kissing your tits, your hand on my dick."

"Your face looks like a tomato, William. How come?"

I stared at her calm and collected face. After some intense soul searching, I said, "I've never talked about making out or specific body parts before. Also, while I want to see you without clothes, I am looking at Momma Pam and not Pam."

The revelation shook me.

Pam walked over and held me tight against her shoulder. She stroked my hair and spoke reassuringly.

"This is why we should not make out just yet. You are still transitioning from seeing me as your stepmom to a desirable woman you may want to spend your life with. And I confess, feeling the same conflict towards you, William. So, I suggest we hold off on any physical displays of affection other than brief hugs and kisses until we are clear on who we are dating."

A wave of relief swept over me. I looked into her loving eyes.

"So, all those embarrassing questions were to help me see I am not ready to make out with you?"

"No", they were to help me understand where we are in our relationship. Truth be told, if you saw me only as Pam, I would decline because you are still my stepson more than an attractive man."

"Is this wisdom from you or Mom?"

She giggled slightly. "Believe it or not, the thoughts originated with me. But I did run them by your mom, and it appears she agrees."

I held her face and softly kissed her forehead. Then I whispered, "I think it is time to go, Pam. Thanks for helping to open my eyes."

She held my wrists and quietly responded, "You're welcome."

After staring deep into those beautiful eyes, I took my hands away, stood, and walked out, closing the door behind me. Entering the car, I saw Pam waving goodbye from the partially opened door.