The Viral Paddle Ch. 01: #Letsgoviral

"And how about you, sir? Could we have a look what's inside your bag?"

It's a sunny afternoon in late spring. I'm walking home from work, mindlessly navigating the traditional obstacle course to avoid the street vendors, chuggers, and sundry influencers getting in the way. It takes a moment for me to register that the question is meant for me, and I look up in amazement.

The first thing I notice is the professional camera, pointing in my direction. All right, that is a lie. The camera may be the third thing I notice, or even the fourth.

The first thing I see, I'm a bit embarrased to say, is an amazing cleavage. The young woman asking is wearing a Lycra sleeveless crop top that shows off a flat stomach, and, more significantly, manages to push her ample bust up and out, creating curves you can lose yourself in. The second thing that catches my eye, when I consciously tear my gaze away from the astonishing cleavage, is the outline of her vulva. She is very obviously a woman, clad in yoga hotpants that are tight enough to show off every detail. Only then do I see her face. She's young, almost half my age, in her early twenties. She's very pretty, with long blonde locks and big blue eyes. Then, finally, I notice the camera.

"Your bag, sir?" the blonde asks again.

"My bag?" I stammer as my gaze magically gets drawn into the depths of her cleavage again. I tear my eyes away from her breasts, only to get lost in her equally enticing pale blue eyes. I suddenly realise who she is.

She is Lexi, a. k. a. the Bag Lady, famous on the Insta, the 'Tube, TikTok and every other social media platform in existence. Her content consists entirely of viral film clips that show her rummaging through people's handbags or backpacks and displaying what's in them, while she shows off as much skin as platform guidelines allow.

"My bag. Right. Well, nooo, I don't think so, love." I really can't have her go through my bag now. Not with the thing I just purchased, the thing that's now hiding in there, in a plain black plastic bag of its own.

"Oh, come on, sir!" She bats her eyelids at me and pushes up her ample bosom in my direction. This woman sure knows how to convince slightly horny middle-aged men, I can tell you that. "What could possibly go wrong?" she quips.

I'm only too aware of what could go wrong.

"For one thing, it'll probably go viral," I blurt out.

Oh, no. Why did I say that?

Well, to be honest, it's been a long time since a good-looking young woman flirted with me, even if it is obviously fake flirting. I find myself quite powerless at her charms. The sensation is almost cartoon-like, as if I have a 'horny me' sitting on my left shoulder, and a 'sensible me' sitting on my right, and both are yelling at me what to do. Right now, the horny side is winning. The beauty of her smile, not to mention the beauty of certain other assets that she keeps trying to push into my face, shoves my sensible side into the back seat.

The camera zooms in on me, while I try with all my might not to zoom in on her gorgeous tits again. At least, my sensible side thinks, she caught me coming from work. I'm wearing an acceptable shirt and reasonably stylish jacket. Her bright smile hypnotises me further. I hear myself say "Oh why not, let's do this."

'Noooo!' my sensible side screams into my ear. 'You idiot! I'll tell you why not! It's that package! In the black plastic bag! Run, before you get ruined!'

But my horny side makes me stay, entranced by this young woman.

As if by magic a small table appears. Lexi takes my bag off my shoulder and puts it on the table. It is a nice satchel bag, larger than your average handbag but smaller than a briefcase, made of recycled banners and car seat belts, sturdy, practical and stylish. She compliments me on the bag.

As she admires it, I try hard - and fail - not to stare too openly at the curvaceous bum she stretches towards me. It has that perfect rounded heart-shape. Thong knickers, I notice. Of course.

I start sweating profusely when she puts the first items on the table. "Smartphone. Power bank. Cable. Purse. Deodorant. Packet of chewing gum. Keys, notebook, pen." She looks at me, puzzled. "What about this bag will make this clip go viral, again, sir?" she teases.

"You'll see," my horny side tells her. My sensible side screams at myself to shut the bleep up.

And yes, then she finds the offending object. It's an oblong package, wrapped in a discreet black plastic bag.

"Well, well, well? What's this?"

Of course, I know very well what 'this' is. 'This' is, I am both ashamed and excited to admit, a beautiful black leather paddle. It's both elegant and well-made. I just purchased it from the upmarket 'adult store' around the corner.

Why have I just purchased a paddle? To be honest, I'm not quite sure myself. Of course, I've always had a serious spanking fetish, but until now I'd kept that a deep dark secret.

None of my former partners ever found out that I harboured a deep desire to turn them over my knee and spank their behinds until they begged for mercy. Or came. Or, preferably, both. Nor did I ever tell any of those former lovers that I would have gladly gone over their laps for a similar treatment. Spanker or spankee, as long as behinds were getting thoroughly smacked, I would have been happy. Somehow, I never dared tell.

That would be one part of the explanation. Another would be that I'm bored with my life. Bored, bored, bored. I'm in my early forties. My love life has been non-existent for a few years now, my teaching job at a university is steady, but rather a dead-end. My friends are amazing but settling down more and more. Life feels like a repetition of the same dull moves every day.

So, when I passed the adult store, I acted on a whim. I went inside and bought the paddle, resolving there and then to start trying to find someone to use it on. Or to have it used on me. Maybe practice some self-spanking, for all I cared. As long as behinds are getting thoroughly smacked, right?

Only to run into the Bag Lady, her cleavage, and her camera.

'You can still leave! Grab your things and go!' my sensible side screams. But my horny side takes another good look into Lexi's big blue eyes. "Go on, open it" I hear myself say.

'Nooo!' But sensible me knows it's too late now. Viral it is...

Lexi's long fingers deftly unpack the paddle. "Oooh, what's this? Someone's been naughty?"

"Oh, I don't know. Have you?" I hear myself flirt back. The sensible part of my brain harrumphs in disgust, and shuts down completely, leaving Horny Me at the helm.

She asks, purring, "Are you going to use it on someone? Or will someone use it on you?" Sexy Lexi hands me the paddle back.

"Well, that's for me to know, and for you to find out, isn't it, love?"

Oh gods, I sound desperate. I'm going to be the laughingstock of the entire internet if I keep on flirting as clumsily as this.

Surprisingly, Lexi doesn't seem to mind. The camera comes even closer as she turns and arches her back, stretching her peachy bum out towards me. "Go on, spank me, sir! I've been a naughty Bag Lady!"

I give her a half-hearted pat with the paddle.

She tells me, "Oh, I know you can do better than that, sir! Spank me properly."

The camera zooms in on her perfect bum, and so do I. My erection is now trying to break out of my trousers. I sincerely hope my bulge is not visible on screen, although I fear the worst. Oh well, here goes. I let the paddle land on her behind with a loud smack.

She squeals. She turns to me, and the first thing I notice this time, no lies, are her nipples, hard as pebbles in her push-up bra and tight Lycra top.

"Mmmm," she moans coyly into the camera, "I'd like more of that! I have a room nearby. Let's continue this 'conversation' there..."

And then she plants a small kiss on my cheek, takes my hand, and sashays out of the camera frame, dragging me behind her.

"Cut!" I hear the cameraman yell. "That was... raunchy! This is going to get so many views!"

"Oh no," I groan inwardly, suddenly realising what I have done. But it's too late now. Insta, the 'Tube, TikTok - I will be all over the net before I can say 'please delete this footage'. And then I will likely never hear from Lexi the Bag Lady again.

I start gathering all my belongings and putting them back into my bag, contemplating what has just happened and what I am going to do with the rest of my life. I have just decided upon a future as an exile in a faraway place with no internet coverage, when I notice Lexi coming up to me again. Her nipples are still rock-hard, attempting to peak through her tight top, and her face is flushed.

"Are you coming or not?" she asks. "The room?"

"Wait, what?" I stammer in astonishment. Was she sincere? "That was just for the camera, no? You really do have a room?"

She nods, grabs my hand, and pulls me and my bag towards the entrance of a nearby building. I walk just behind her, propelled by her pull, dazedly staring at the hypnotising sway of her sexy buttocks in her impossibly tight yoga pants.

Up the stairs we go, and through a door, into a large, luxury apartment. "Wow, this is yours?"

"Airbnb", she concedes. "Now what, sir? She bats her eyelids at me again, and pouts playfully.

I am briefly in two minds again. Horny me wants to pretend I know it all, play the experienced dominant, and start ordering this sexy young woman around. But sensible me feels it can gain the upper hand for once. Before I know it, I blurt out "Do you know, I've never done this either. I'm sorry, I'm not the experienced Dom you'd want for this. I have just bought the paddle, never used it yet. But I'm sure we can work it out. Can't be that hard, can it?"

She laughs, and I'm relieved she seems to take it light-heartedly. "Why does this not surprise me? I'm Linda, by the way."

"Linda? I thought your name was Lexi?"

"Stage name, dummy. Part of the persona. Sexy Lexi?"

I nod understandingly. "I'm Alex. My real name. No persona, I'm afraid." Indeed, no persona. What you see is what you get. 42 years old, brown eyes, brown cropped hair, medium height. I'm not bad looking but no model material either, well-built because I work out a lot, currently single, no children or pets or other obligations. The overall result is slightly dull, as if an AI had come up with an average okay-looking middle-aged male, although without the deformed hands AIs always include.

I very briefly wonder if I need a persona as well, but then horny me takes over again and tells me to focus, before sensible me loses all sense of agency. "Right, Linda. Take your top off. Bra too. Paddling always takes place with bare breasts, you should know that."

"Oh really? Why is that?"

"The sensation adds to the experience, or so I've read."

"Yeah? Not so you can have a bit of eye candy then?"

"There's that, too. Go on, off with the clothes." I tell her mock-sternly.

My playful tone works. She smiles her bright smile and complies, pulling her tight top over her head, and then liberating her gorgeous tits from her white lace bra. From my youth, I vividly remember the joys accompanying the arrival of the first push-up bras, and a woman's magazine article titled 'Hello boys! What do they look like when you take the Wonderbra off?' The article fascinated me no end. When the bra comes off, Lexi, no, Linda's lovely tits hardly sag. I sigh in wonderment.

"Okay, mister Inexperienced Dom, Sir. What's next?"

"Those yoga pants, obviously. Off they come."

And again, she obeys. Her bum is impossibly perky, round and firm. "That skimpy white thong stays on. I love how the panties frame your cheeks." Women in thong panties is another one of my fetishes, competing with spanking for the number one spot in my erotic fantasies. Why not combine the two now I have the opportunity?

I take her hand and lead her to her bed. I then take the paddle from my bag and sit down on the mattress, my back against the wall, a pillow supporting me.

"Slide over my lap, bum in the air, sweetie." I pat my lap invitingly. Her nipples have gone hard again, the erotic allure of the situation restored despite my awkwardness. As she crawls over my lap, her hand brushes against my rock-hard erection. I am briefly embarrassed, but she giggles. She actually giggles; a sound I haven't heard a girl make since my early teens. It sounds playful and bubbly.

"Right. Relax, Linda." I gently push her down, so that she is lying on the bed, sprawled over my lap, her sexy bum resting on my thighs. I start massaging and caressing her upturned globes. I admire her roundness and shape, and the tiny goosebumps on her smooth, flawless skin. I restrain myself from bending over and smelling her skin, although I feel an urgent need to do so. I am sure she smells divine. My fingers trace the lines of her white thong knickers, down to where the fabric dips invitingly between her cheeks.

She sighs appreciatively and relaxes under my touch. "That's nice, but... not what I expected."

"Well, Linda, I need to warm you up. Otherwise, you'll reach your limit within a minute, and we're done before we have even started."

"Oh, you have read that too, have you?" she says mockingly.

"Hush, woman, or I'll spank you. In fact," I say jokingly, and start gently smacking her buttocks with my hand. The smacks are light enough to be painless, but hard enough to generate a gentle buzzing feeling in her posterior, or so I have read. It's amazing what you can read these days, but it seems to be working, because she responds to the slaps with soft, appreciative noises.

Between smacks, I take my sweet time to massage her cheeks. Partially, again, because that is the way it should be done according to the internet experts on delivering a good spanking. But mostly because, frankly, it is a lot of fun. I let intuition take over as I start spanking her properly.

Smack! Smack! Slowly but surely my spanks increase in intensity. I leave a few seconds between each spank, letting her take in each impact.

"Hmmm, this isn't so bad! You have read the right literature, I guess."

"Still teasing me, eh? Well, soon you won't be so cheeky anymore, Linda." I reach for the paddle and gently caress her bum with it.

I let it glide across her cheeks and even dip it between her legs, caressing her pussy over the gusset of her thong, which elicits a small moan. "Ready?" I ask.

"Hmmm, yes, I am," Linda says with another small moan.

Smack! The first spank from the paddle lands on her cheek. "Oh!" Her bum jiggles enticingly. Smack, another one. Again, a sexy jiggle. I alternate between cheeks as I spank her with the paddle, not hard, but not too soft either. My other hand caresses her cheeks every now and then, to dissipate the heat and because it's such a delight to fondle her bum.

Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Linda squeals as I land a series of harder smacks on her cheeks. I pause briefly and continue with the softer spanks I gave her before, then again building up to harder smacks. After a series of ten hard spanks, I massage the stricken areas again and admire the slight redness that is building up.

"You have such a lovely bum, it's made for spanking" I declare as I spank her hard now, again and again.

"Oooh, hmmm," every smack with the paddle evokes a soft moan now. She is panting heavily, her head resting on her arms, her hips bucking and writhing with every smack.

I stop spanking her and lean over her, softly asking if she is okay. "Enough?"

Linda groans in frustration and wiggles her hips invitingly, urging me to go on.

Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! The paddle lands on her upturned behind in full force now, a stinging barrage of swift smacks that leave her hardly any room to breathe.

I pause again, caressing the red-hot flesh of her cheeks. My hand dips between her legs and I am amazed at the wetness I feel: the gusset of her thong is positively soaked. "Hmmm, you really are enjoying this, aren't you, you little minx?"

My fingers stroke her pussy over the fabric of her panties, and she moans loudly. "Ohhh, yesss...."

As I pick up my paddle again and start the next round of smacks, my other hand reaches round her and fondles her full round breast, pinching her nipple. She moans loudly and arches her back even more, to offer me her breast and to present me her behind.

I smack her harder and let go of Linda's breast, my hand slipping underneath her. She lifts her hips so my hand can slide into her soaked knickers, and my fingers brush over her clit.

"Hhhhhh yesss...." she rides my fingers as I smack her hard with the paddle, again and again. She is bucking her hips with wild abandon now, raising them to meet my spanks and to maximise the friction on my fingers. I build up my spanks towards a new peak when I sense from her body language that she is nearing orgasm. And indeed, after ten hard smacks, the hardest yet, she squeals loudly and collapses over my lap.

"Ahhhhh..." Her frantic wriggling tells me that her clit is now too sensitive to touch, and I retract my hand from underneath her.

"Oh. My. God...." she moans as I drop the paddle and gently caress her fiery red bottom. "Ohhhhh..."

She takes at least two minutes to recover the slightest semblance of control, lying spent over my lap. "Oh no, I've broken her," my sensible side thinks. But my horny side is not at all surprised when she suddenly looks up to me with glazed eyes and tells me in no uncertain terms to "come on and fuck me already, what are you waiting for, or is that also something you don't have experience in?"

She slides off my lap, grabs a condom package from her nightstand drawer, tosses it over, and gets on all fours, arching her bright-red backside towards me. I briefly consider explaining to her that yes, I do have ample experience in that area, but then my horny side takes over again.

I quickly shed my trousers, which are sticky with her juices anyway, and underpants, which are sticky with mine. I pick up the condom package, open it, and put the condom on my painfully erect cock. Then I come up behind her.

She winces as I peel her sodden thong knickers down her burning bottom cheeks and down her thighs. It parts with her pussy lips with an audible squelch. Her lips are swollen and moist and her vulva is shaven, except from a small blonde landing strip of hair just above her pussy. "Hmmm, natural blonde," I muse.

She presses her shoulders into the mattress as I carefully enter her. Her pussy is tight because of the position, but she is obviously very turned on and the feeling is just heavenly. Her red cheeks feel hot on my thighs as I thrust into her. "Oh yes, fuck me," she moans wantonly. "Hard."

I admire the sexy arch of her back and the lovely dimples just above her bottom as I thrust into her again and again. She moans loudly, pushing her bright-red buttocks towards me. I have never fucked such a sexy woman in my life, and it feels amazing. The sensation of her warm, soft wetness clamping down on my cock as I thrust in and out of her drives me wild. I notice she has reached back and is now fingering her clit furiously as I fuck her. "Oh yes..." I moan.... "Play with yourself while I fuck you..."

"Shut up, just fuck me" she hisses, and I comply. I manage to last just long enough for her to come again, my hard thrusts and her nimble fingers pushing her over the edge. Her pussy spasms as she comes, which drives me over the edge as well. With a loud grunt, I come. My cock slips out of her as she unceremoniously collapses onto the bed, and so do I, beside her.

I have a good look at her as we both come down from our orgasms. Her mascara is smeared, and she is still panting strongly. I take her into my arms, and she leans heavily against me. I caress her hair, her back, her face and her red bottom. "Wow, that was fantastic," I tell her. "Thank you for this experience... It almost makes it worth it that my paddle will be all over the internet tonight. And me with it."

Linda laughs, a beautiful chuckling sound. "Oh, don't worry too much about that. Internet fame is fleeting, I bet you're going to notice that too. But yeah, that was fun! When you meet the next lady you're going to paddle, you can tell her you know things from actual experience, not websites."

I laugh too, revelling in the fact that this beauty is obviously a lot smarter than she presents herself in her online persona. I am truly smitten with her. But before I can declare my admiration, or invite her for another round of erotic play, she kisses me on the cheek and tells me it is time for me to go. "I have some editing to do, you understand."

I understand, and I quickly get dressed, put my paddle into my bag, and make my way out of the door. "Wait", she tells me. I turn around hopefully, staring at her amazing body as she walks towards me, all naked and glorious. "Give me your insta, so I can tag you."

"No, please don't tag me!" I tell her in shock.

She laughs at my worried face. "Okay, I won't tag you, but I'll send you a message once the clip is online. So that you can admire your acting skills."

Yes, and drool over the memory of your gorgeous body, I think to myself as I tell her my Instagram handle. I then let myself get gently pushed out the door with another kiss on the cheek for goodbye.

"Right," I think. "Hashtag Let'sGoViral."