Three Actors In Search of a Plot

If people have heard of Pirandello it will be because of his play "Six Characters In Search Of An Author". This is my version.

The suggestions spoken by the cast and the author are all adapted from real comments made about one of my Literotica stories.

The characters involved are

Pires Dello (the play's draft script author),

David (the Director / Adapter),

George (who plays the husband, Fred),

Rita (who plays Fred's wife, Elaine) and

Donald (who plays Rob who is Elaine's lover)

THE FIRST MEETING

The Director (addressing the 3 actors) said "You have all read the draft script. I want to say a few words before the author gets here. Its a Pinteresque story of a man who comes to rule over a pathetic, sad cuck and his truly narcissistic slut wife.

The de facto husband Rob and his de facto wife Elaine draw up options for her real husband, Fred. All the options only serve to fulfill Rob and Elaine's sexual desires."

George said "None of us want to perform this piece,"

The Director said "I sympathise. But you are all under contract. And don't forget that there are lots of unemployed actors who will gladly take any vacancy."

THE CASTING COUCH

Donald said "It's just a badly written load of crap. I bet Pires gets sexual satisfaction from writing this idiotic bullshit. I bet he's been bummed by our sponsor."

George said "It won't be the first time our sponsor has offloaded his bum chum's piss poor prose on us."

Rita said "You men have subjected us women to the horrors of the casting couch. If there's any justice in this world, Pires and our sponsor will both die and we will use this script on their funeral pyre."

The Director waved a script and said "Okay. The characters suck. The plot is leprosy-ridden bollocks. It is so clichéd that it seems to be written by an Artificial Intelligence program. It's our job to help the author turn this pig's ear into a silk purse."

Rita said "We are saddled with it because the author is a cock receiving friend of our sponsor."

The Director said "But, if by some miracle, it proves to be successful we could all be made for life. You could all become film stars and not unknowns in this God forsaken town."

Rita said "God didn't forsake this town. He was wise enough to have never been here in the first place."

THE DRAFT SCRIPT

The Director said "The main problem with the draft script is that not one of the characters has ANY depth. It's like a bowl of macaroni cheese made without salt, pepper or even the cheese."

Donald said "And we are to provide the salt, pepper and cheese."

PUNISH THE WIFE

Pires entered and George said to him "This piece has no inherent drama. It is just 2 weak minds bowing in submission to a sexual predator. The wife and the husband don't question. They both just submit. My character is the worst. He not only allows his own wife to be unfaithful to him but he also facilitates the adultery. My character should slap his wife so hard that she sees stars."

Pires said "No one would pay to see a wife beater."

Donald said "I disagree. Millions of people still love John Lennon even though he beat his first wife. Lennon's fans gather to worship his memory in a part of Central Park set aside for grieving fans.

If I were there in Central Park I would sing "Why did you have to be a wife beater?" instead of that "Imagine" tosh.

The Director said "I love hearing Imagine, even if its lyrics are tosh. It is poetic tosh."

A RIPOSTE

Rita said "The piece might work if we make it a riposte to the secularists who have been working 24/7 and 365 days a year to convince us that sex of any kind is good. Elaine should discover that the free-love, fuck a husband and your lover at the same time philosophy is pure bullshit."

She said to Pires "As it stands, this is merely a piece of cuckold propaganda. It has the standard cuckold elements. It has an alpha male who first controls an alpha female. And together the alpha male and alpha female dominate an ultra-submissive, beta husband.

Audiences will rightly want to see an emotionally, psychologically and physically destructive cuckolder punished."

Donald said "You just want my character to have his dick cut off."

George said "Lets leave aside Rita's anti-men feminism for a minute. It is a dramatic truism that people must pay for their illicit pleasure. This piece is flawed because it allows everyone to live an unusual, perverted life, without any consequences."

Pires asked George "So who do we want to see punished?"

George replied "The wife. She's a complete bitch. She cheats and throws her adultery in her hubby's face."

The Director asked "How should Elaine be punished?"

Pires said "Perhaps Rob could try to induce Elaine to allow other men to use her sexually. Then Elaine could come to realise that she is in too deep. Then, when she begs Fred to help her. But Fred should show Elaine the same mercy that she showed him, which is none."

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

Rita said "That's just sheer women hatred. Both men get off Scot free. Why not get Rob to wish he was never born?"

Donald said "I agree This piece needs Fred to man up. He must not end up as a doormat cuck. He must find a way to ensure Elaine can't live with Rob."

George said "Fred must come to realise that a man needs to trust his wife. He should wise up and reject someone who cuckolds and humiliates him. Fred should plan a tragic accident befalls Rob."

The Director said to Pires "Imagine the impact on an audience when finally Fred confronts Rob. He should tell Rob that he has lived up to his name. He has robbed Fred of his wife, his happiness and much more.

He might suggest that Rob deserves some breaks. He should reveal that he has friends in low places who break legs and arms."

Rita added "That way Elaine will have a hell of a deep hole to dig herself out of. I can have centre stage as I have to end my emotional attachment to my lover."

George said "Fred should ditch both the whoring bitch and her lover. His friends in low places should tie them both Elaine and Rob. They will leave them together in some isolated bog. When someone asks questions Fred should only say that they have run away together."

STANDING AGAINST THE NAZI PHILOSOPHY

The Director said to Pires "Perhaps you could set the storyline in a different era. You could make it into an anti-Nazi piece. The Nazi culture was so demeaning. The Nazis wanted to treat the Russian people as little better than farm livestock had they won the second world war.

The Russian peasants were to be fed only enough to be able to work. Their education was to be very basic. The Russian serfs would learn only what a slave needed to produce the stuff to feed and clothe their Nazi masters. The Russians would only be allowed to produce offspring in numbers sufficient to satisfy the Greater German needs."

Rita said "The role of German women was to be to produce and bring up healthy, racially pure little Germans. Providing the father was racially pure it didn't matter if the child is born in wedlock. Superior Nazis could take whatever Ayran woman they wanted. So Elaine needs to discover that Rob considers her as breeding livestock.

Pires said "Rob really wants Elaine to give the world lots of Aryan child. Then Elaine discover that Rob wants to impregnate lots of other women needs. Rob's sexism and racism could be a reason for Elaine to reject her lover.

MODERN DAY

The Director said "Perhaps Rob should not be a German Nazi but a modern day eugenicist who says that races shouldn't be allowed to inter-breed because they weaken the Ayran master race."

Rita said "I think that would work theatrically in a modern day setting. It may work especially because it comes out of left field. Few people would see that twist coming."

George said "In Nazi Germany, some citizens were called "useless feeders". They were killed en masse in secret. Perhaps Fred should have what the Nazis thought of as a genetic defect. That could be a key part of his wife's rejection of Rob."

George said "I agree with Rita. Even if the play fails at least it will have a noble purpose. Perhaps even a Nobel Prize winning purpose."

Donald said "Unlike the initial draft, I am excited by the rearranged plot."

The Director said to Pires "I've never known such a consensus from our actors before. I suggest that you rewrite.

Donald said "Don't be afraid to ask any of us for help. Together we can produce something truly worthwhile."

Pires said "Thank you one and all."

He tore up his first draft and departed.

The Director said "I think we will have a worthwhile play. Let's retire to the pub. The first round is on me."