Viv 01

Viv 01

Well, I never fit the mold to be known as Vic from the very beginning anyways, so I switched one letter, so what?

Anyways, I'm between 20 and 21 and I'm a 2nd year architecture design student at the local community college with a 2+2 scholarship program with the university because I'm inspiring architect designer and I'm happy to report that I passed my first year with flying colors. (Giggles) and I'm half happy to report that my 1st year design project hangs in the classroom to this day, mm-hmm. I mean, the sketch is tagged as 'cost prohibitive and unreasonable use of space', but it's a cool ass pyramid house with a matching detached pyramid garage and either way, my work is on display for all to see and that's why I'm an inspired architect student.

Oh, and I'm an inspired smuggler too because this one time, I smuggled two packs of cigarettes and a glass bottle of soda over the state line for my friend and that's right, I got away with it! Not that we have to repeat that part to the Feds or anything because if and when I go full-on smuggler, my cover story will be that I'm an importer. Viv the Importer.

Anyways, as a 2nd year student, I'm, um, well, we, all of us in the class, are mixing our architectural design principles studies with another active project. And my current design project is this guy, Kurt, OMG, I mean, my current design project is a bad ass, a cool ass multiple million dollars octagon house, where each octagon wall is a room and the middle is an open living space and the weird ass octagon ceiling is vaulted so high that you get dizzy just looking up because...

"[Murmuring from the front of the class] and remember, class, you need to keep cost in mind with your projects because we don't live in California, where only the filthy rich people can afford unattainable mansions."

Hah, says who, hmm? There are filthy rich people everywhere in this country because...

"[Murmuring from the front of the class] also class, just because you can design in a computer program, that doesn't mean a construction crew can actually build it, so, apply every design principle that we have covered over the past 2 years."

Hah, then why provide us in the class with a computer design program, hmm?

"[Murmuring from the front of the class] and by the way class, as a reminder, we have our field trip tomorrow Friday to the new construction subdivision where we will, wait for it, class, get a up and close and personal view of what 'California' corners look like and, and, and, OMG, grab your dates because, that's right class, we will have a pop quiz over the pros and cons of a basement vs a crawl space and tell me, class, what can be more exciting than that, huh?"

Um, literally anything might be more exciting than that because...

"[Viv frantically raises hand] Mr. Merriweather, do we get to wear yellow safety hard hats and hold a cup of coffee in our hands, hmm?"

"[The teach] duh, Voodoo Viv, duh because that's how we do things because..."

"[Viv frantically raises hand] Mr. Merriweather, can I wear a pencil behind my ear too, hmm?"

"[The teach] um, sure, Viv because..."

"[Viv frantically raises hand] Mr. Merriweather, can I just say that I'll be in the line at the Lava Java Coffee Shop tomorrow at 11am sharp to pick up a box top of 12 coffees tomorrow just in case someone might want to know that information, hmm?"

"[The teach] um, I think you just said that, Viv, so, um, well give your individual mixture orders to Viv and class dismissed until Noon tomorrow! Well, wait, are there any other..."

"[Viv frantically raises hand because blue line chalk looks a lot like blue eye shadow powder...]"

"[The teach] from literally anyone else, huh??? No, okay, class dismissed!"

Asshole. Also, rats, I forgot about all of the individual coffee mixture requests! Or, or, or, cream and sugar all around will be fine because...

"[Booty bump] so, listen, Viv, I just..."

"Mm-hmm, I see, Kurt, you just wanted to improve your aim because for the last semester and a half, mm-hmm, your aim has been a little off when I lean over to take a sip of water from the hallway water fountain and now, you've perfected your aim and I'm supposed to crumble over that, hmm, does that finish your sentence, Kurt, hmm?"

"Oh, um, not at all, Voodoo Viv because I was just going to say..."

"Oh, you were just going to say 'why can't we just skip over all this bickering and move on with it', hmm, is that what you were going to say, Kurt, hmm?"

"I mean, chill out, Voodoo Doll and listen to me! Wait, what would we even bicker about anyways since I actually..."

"Mm-hmm, the bickering started, by you, of course, started when I slipped onto the couch with you while you were watching something on TV and then, mm-hmm, you accused me of dirty spooning you because you started bickering in protest like 'dang it, Viv, stop wiggling and squirming backwards' and I returned the bickering by saying 'you mean, it's you who should stop poking forward, Kurt' and we carry on like that, back and forth, for at least five minutes, so?"

"Oh, um, what?"

"Oh, it's okay, Kurt, because you changed your attitude when you realize that I dropped my shorts while I was retrieving a throw blanket and a hand towel from the linen closet, mm-hmm and you didn't even macho man care that I was stripped down to my thong undies, mm-hmm! Well, then you do get mad when you realize, for one, spooning half naked isn't as straight forward as one might think and we had to wiggle waggle around until the geometry alignment worked out and two, OMG, you're such a baby for complaining about how I was the only one 'comfortable' because I have no idea how to remove a a pair of pants when they are not on me, sheesh!"

"Again, my head is spinning, Viv, so, what?"

"Oh, oh, oh, your fat mushroom head was doing just fine once we scooted this way and scooched that way to solve the geometry alignment issues because once I lifted my right leg to create a thigh gap for you, mm-hmm, your head had no complaints then, uh-huh, none whatsoever because you moaned, moaned like date, when I found the perfect thigh squeeze pressure back down on you, so?"

"OMFG, Viv, what the hell are you talking about anyways, huh? And be quick with your explanation before I pass out because..."

"Oh, OMG, I knew 'be quick about it' was going to come up sooner or later because there was nothing quick about how you ram thrusted and pumped my thigh gap for 8 solid minutes, Kurt, 8, a solid 8 of your solid 8, thrashing me all around so that I could barely even catch my breath and I barely managed to hang on for your pumping pleasure, mm-hmm!"

"I'm going down right now because..."

"Well, well, well, that tracks because as I felt your muscles tighten and your breathing changed, that's right, I reached for the hand towel to catch your spewing explosion and OMG, you said 'no way, Viv, aha, aha, aha, argh, argh, spin off of me and go down on me with your red lips instead of using the towel' and I said 'damn you, Kurt, you planned this' and by the way, Kurt, if that dirty spooning thigh gap sex dream ever comes true, OMG, I'm jerking you off first because your spewing power release almost drowned me! Oh, Kurt? Kurt? Did you pass out?"

"(Giggles) now, that's how one ends a class, Viv! Also, I think in the beginning that Kurt was just going to say that he liked his coffee double squirted, double fizz foamed, double-double bold, double-double sugar and a dash of cream, stirred from left to right and (giggles) a little hot dogging, I mean, a snack to much on. Also, Sex Phone Operator, here's my coffee mixture."

"[Reads a crumbled piece of paper] Brazilian breakfast blend, blended half with Italian siesta blend, Mexico sugar cane sugar, flecked, not crumbled, French vanilla cream smoother, stirred right to left and back around twice with a premium European chocolate covered fizzle stick and a dab of whipped cream, dead center in the middle. Seriously, Shay, is that all?"

"Oops [snatches the crumbled piece of paper and scribbles] my bad, here [hands off the update]."

"[Reads the update] and after all that play-by-play of a sex night and you never told Kurt where your apartment is! D minus! Also, a protective heat ring for my coffee cup, please and thank you."

Well, I thought the hallway crowd of students had dispensed, so.

And I didn't forget anything! I mean, I texted my place's address to Kurt before he woke up from being passed out.

"[Ping, hah, I forgot nothing] Kurt, my apartment is above the Wood Screw Shop on the Strip, next to the Pizza Shop, Viv."

End Viv 01