Ellie Thought I was Asleep

**A special thanks to kenjisato for some constructive criticism.**

Sometimes, I wonder if Ellie is hiding something from me -- not an affair or anything like that -- but something erotic or kinky that she's too afraid or too embarrassed to tell me about. Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part. Perhaps it's just all in my head, and she doesn't think about sex as often as I do. I fantasize about Ellie frequently, thinking about hot encounters we have had together, or imagining her touching herself when she is alone. This usually ends up with me getting an erection, which then leads to me with my hand down my pants or excusing myself to get more unrestricted access and edge myself just short of an orgasm.

I try to honor an agreement I made with myself a while back. I told myself that I would not orgasm unless I was within three feet of my wife, and she has to be conscious. It's not easy. The problem is that I inevitably have a thought, or a trigger, that starts a snowball effect that gets me in trouble. It could be seeing Ellie without a bra; thinking of her in the shower; or something simple, like adjusting my junk in my underwear that rubs me the right way.

If I am not careful, my mind starts running away with thoughts that end up with me imagining Ellie in my lap, bouncing on my cock, while I spank her ass and talk dirty to her, her nipples brushing across my mouth. It is hard to back up the thoughts and reverse course at this point, but I try.

I would love to know if Ellie has fantasies and thoughts about sex like I do, but different intimacy drives are normal. It doesn't mean she's not into sex; she's very into it, I just have more of a vivid imagination than she does.

***

Early on in my relationship with Ellie, she had walked into the bedroom and caught me masturbating. I thought she had left the apartment, and I didn't know she had returned to get something. I was standing in the middle of the bedroom, my pants were down around my ankles, and I was furiously working my shaft. I heard Ellie outside the bedroom and barely had time to cover up before she came in. Maybe, if she had caught me in the middle of stroking it, things would not have been as bad.

Ellie was hurt and a little angry. Of course, I felt ashamed and horrible that I had hurt her. From her perspective, I was choosing self-pleasure over her. It made her feel like I didn't want her. From my perspective, it wasn't a big deal. I sometimes had to rub one out earlier in the day so I wouldn't cum too soon when we got together. I was horny, a lot, and when the magic would happen between us, it was so intense that I was afraid I wouldn't last long enough to please her, so I would sometimes pre-game to try to last longer.

I didn't need porn to get off, I had plenty of imagination to accomplish the task. If given the choice, I would prefer Ellie's touch over my own one hundred percent of the time. That being said, if she wanted me to, I would masturbate with her, or even for her, if she was into it. I just didn't know how to approach the subject. I would try to bring it up, but Ellie was too embarrassed or uncomfortable to discuss it. I knew the potential was there because during intercourse, Ellie would sometimes touch herself to add to the experience, but I could never get the details of her masturbating by herself. Needless to say, I was more careful from that point forward. I didn't want to hurt Ellie, especially since I knew how she felt about it.

The confusing thing for me, and the source of many of my fantasies about Ellie, was that she kept a plug-in "back massager" in her nightstand. This was before the famous Hitachi wand was popular, but I fantasized about her using it to get herself off. I would imagine her lying on her back on the floor of the bedroom, with her legs stretched out and grinding her hips against the buzzing toy.

I would often fantasize about her placing the massager on a pillow and straddling it on her knees, grinding into the pillow. I imagined she would alternate between leaning forward on all fours, then sitting up in a cowgirl position, moving her hips as she rubbed on the massager. When she would lean forward, her perfect tits would sway back and forth and I could see her nipples against her sleep shirt as they slid against the soft, cotton fabric. After she finally revealed to me that she would occasionally use it to masturbate, I wanted to see her, or better yet, catch her doing it.

***

Jump to the present day, where the kids are grown, we still have a good sex life, and I still fantasize about my Ellie. Unfortunately, our hectic lives hit Ellie harder at night than it does me. She usually needs more sleep than I do, and Ellie is prone to falling asleep on the couch or before me in bed at night.

Sometimes, after Ellie falls asleep, my imagination gets away from me. If I am reading a book with a steamy encounter, or I am just lying there, trying to sleep but can't; occasionally, I fall back to my old habit of masturbating to help me fall asleep. It has only happened a few times, but I enjoy the naughtiness of doing it beside her in bed, while she sleeps. I would gently fold the covers off of me and try not to shake the bed. There have been a few times when Ellie would roll over, and I would freeze until I hear her steady breathing continue, then I would start up again. I usually fantasize about her waking up and watching me, without me knowing she was awake. I would imagine Ellie starting to touch herself, and we would masturbate together and end up in a passionate tangle, getting each other off.

***

A few weeks ago, it was a rare occasion when I was more tired than Ellie was. She had already been asleep on the couch, and when we finally went to bed, it was hard for her to go back to sleep. I had drifted off, lying on my side, facing her, while she scrolled through her social media feeds.

I had only been asleep for a few minutes, when I woke up and opened my eyes. I could see the profile of her face illuminated by the phone she was holding with her left hand. I could see the covers draped across her chest, and as I looked down, I thought I saw Ellie's right hand moving with a repetitive motion between her legs. Was I imagining things? The ambient light of her phone was barely lighting up the rest of her outline. I decided to lie still and continue watching. Was Ellie touching herself while she thought I was asleep? Had the tables turned? Was this something she had been hiding from me?

My erection was immediate and throbbing. I didn't dare move, fearing Ellie would stop if she thought I was awake. I just wanted to watch and to have the memory of the experience to use over and over in the future. I continued watching Ellie's hand move under the covers in what appeared to be, and what I hoped to be, a rubbing motion. In my mind, I imagined Ellie rubbing her clit in little circles and occasionally dipping lower to her opening and back to her clit with her wetness creating a slippery friction.

Then suddenly, while I watched through partially closed eyes, I saw Ellie bring her hand out from under the covers and up to her chest. I watched with anticipation, wishing she would move the covers down, exposing her breasts. I wanted to see her fingers trace circles around her nipples. I imagined them stiffening as she softly pinched and rolled them between her fingers and thumb. At that point, I wanted to let her know I was awake, watching her private moment, and I wanted to participate. I also realized that I could have misread the whole situation.

I spoke and said, "What are you doing over there?"

Startled, Ellie said she was pulling up the covers because she was cold.

I asked, "What were you doing under the covers?"

She said she was checking the elastic band of her panties.

The moment was innocent, and I was a horny imaginative mess. I told Ellie what I thought was going on and what I had imagined she was doing, and we laughed about it. I told her that if she ever wanted to masturbate in bed, it was fine with me. I asked her to please let me pretend to be asleep if she ever did, so I could catch her doing it and help her if needed.

She smacked me on the shoulder, called me a pervert, and told me to go back to sleep.

Needless to say, it took a while for me to sleep that night.

A few days had passed since I thought I had caught her masturbating, and we had both forgotten about it. It was a Friday night, and we were with some friends for our occasional game night. We would take turns hosting, cooking a meal, sharing a few drinks, and playing cards or board games.

This night was our turn to host, and since we weren't driving, Ellie and I had a few more drinks than normal. We felt pretty good, had fun, and laughed a lot. It had gotten pretty late, and our friends had left, so we were getting ready for bed. Ellie always got pretty frisky when she drank, and I was hoping for a little action before we fell asleep.

Earlier in the night, she had her hand in my lap under the table and had given me signs throughout the night that she was horny and would be ready for me later. I joined her in bed and noticed she was already naked, waiting for me. She felt me as I lifted the covers and slid in beside her, and she was already reaching for me. We turned on our sides to face each other and began kissing.

Her kisses were hard and passionate, and so were her hip movements. She rested one leg across my hip and started grinding herself against my thigh, and I could feel her wetness against my skin. My cock had already been stiff before I got in bed, and when Ellie felt it press against her leg, she reached down to position it between us so as she would grind against me, she would feel my thick cock between her legs. I felt her warm, wet lips press against my dick and spread around it as she would slide up and down the length. I couldn't wait any longer to be inside of her, so I threw off the covers and stood beside the bed.

Sometimes, Ellie wanted to be held and wanted me to take my time and make love to her. Other times, she wanted to FUCK, and this was one of those times. I reached down and grabbed her legs and pulled her to the edge of the bed. She held her knees up to her chest and spread herself for me. I placed my cock between her legs and held it against her with my thumb, and started sliding my dick between her wet lips. I would pull back until the tip was against her opening and then push forward all the way, sliding my cock against her clit until my balls pressed against her ass. I kept my thumb on my cock to hold pressure on her clit and began to increase the speed of my movements until I was using her wet pussy to masturbate me, grinding against her clit. I felt myself getting close to orgasm rather quickly, so I had to stop the friction and change tactics a bit. I stopped what I was doing and held my cock with my right hand and began softly slapping her pussy with it.

Ellie was so wet at this point that I felt the occasional splash against my thigh and on my hand as I slapped my cock against her clit. I moved down a bit and slapped it between her spread lips. I started rubbing the tip of my cock against her opening, searching for a way in, and when I felt myself slipping inside, I pushed forward, sinking the full length of my cock into her to the base of my shaft.

Ellie threw her head back and moaned, "Oh yes!"

I withdrew until the tip was resting against her opening and then I would push back again feeding my cock inside her. Over and over again, I would pound into her, filling her with my dick as she moaned louder and louder. She reached up and started to pinch my nipples, which I didn't even know that I liked until she just recently started doing it.

She looked at me and said, "I want to feel you deeper."

I rolled her onto her side, and she pulled her knees to her chest. This was one of Ellie's favorite positions to move to after we had started in the missionary position. Ellie liked how deep I go inside of her, and how thick my cock feels with her legs tight together. I liked the view I had watching my cock spread her lips appart as it dissappeared inside of her, and how deep I could push inside of her. Standing beside the bed with her ass barely hanging off the edge gave me a great feeling of control, as I could spank her and grab her ass with my hands, while plowing into her.

I would love to say that it was one of the most erotic, mind-blowing sex sessions we had ever had together, but halfway through, out of nowhere, I developed a muscle cramp in my right butt cheek. It was as if I'd been shot with a taser and couldn't move. Agony took over, and sadly, I lost my erection.

After the pain started to fade, Ellie tried her best to keep me involved, but I just couldn't make it work. She offered her hand and her mouth, but I just couldn't perform with the lingering pain I was still feeling. Ellie was sweet and told me it was all right, that I still had made her feel good, and that I could have a rain check to make up for it another night.

Lying in bed, I was beating myself up over what had just happened. I knew it wasn't my fault, but I felt bad leaving Ellie in the middle of a rather passionate moment. I couldn't fall asleep because I still had a bit of a buzz and felt pretty frustrated about the previous events. Half an hour had passed since we had said goodnight, and Ellie was lying still, so I thought she was asleep.

Evidently, she thought I was, too.

And that's when it happened again. I was on my side, facing away from Ellie, so I couldn't see what she was doing. I felt some slight movements in the bed, and at first, I thought Ellie was moving her foot slightly like she used to do early in our marriage when trying to fall asleep. I didn't give it any thought, until I heard her breathing change. It went from slow and steady to a bit choppy and ragged. At first, I thought she was having a bad dream. Then I heard a slight moan, and I could tell the movement wasn't from the foot of the bed, but from just beside me, under the covers.

I tried to stay as still as possible, listening and imagining what Ellie was doing beside me. I could tell from the faint light in the room that she had her phone out, but with my back to her, I had no idea what she was looking at. I didn't want to make the same mistake and assume that she was pleasuring herself, so I decided to try to roll over and pretend to be asleep.

I held my breath, shifted my weight, and rolled to my other side, facing her. I kept my eyes closed, and after a moment, I started breathing with heavy, steady breaths. The moment she felt me start to roll over, she froze still and held her phone to her chest to block the light to hide the fact that she was still awake. After a few moments of my steady breathing, I felt Ellie move slightly, so I opened one eye just a bit and could tell she was looking at her phone again.

Just like the other night, I opened my eyes just enough to try to see what she was doing, and boy... was I surprised.

I could only see her phone from an angle, but it looked like she was watching porn. On her screen, I could make out a naked girl in what looked like a sunroom full of windows, kneeling on a sofa, bent over with her elbows on the top of the back cushions. A guy was standing behind her, screwing her from behind. Every time he thrust into her, her nipples would brush against the back sofa cushions her elbows were leaning on. Ellie still had the covers over her, but I could tell that her knees were up and spread apart.

I looked down and could tell that her right hand was under the covers, and she was rubbing herself pretty fast. I looked back at her face to see Ellie biting her lower lip and looking right at me. Without saying a word, she put her phone down and got out from under the covers. She got on all fours and lowered her head and shoulders to the mattress, but kept her ass up in the air. Ellie moved her right hand between her legs and began to rub her pussy.

Ellie broke the silence, and said, "You can watch me, or help me, either way, I have to finish what we started."

By this point, I no longer felt the pain from the muscle cramp and was getting hard again. I couldn't believe that my Ellie was being so forward and so fucking hot! I jumped up on my knees behind her, and felt her grab my cock. Eager for me to replace her fingers, she rubbed the tip along her opening. Ellie was so wet that I could feel a damp spot on the sheets where she had been rubbing herself moments before.

With little effort, I slid inside of her and felt her start bucking against me, as she said, "I'm so glad you're awake."

I stopped my thrusting and let her slam herself against me, impaling herself on my rigid cock. She was bouncing on me so hard that I had to brace myself with my hands behind me to keep from falling backward. I held onto her hips and took over with strong thrusts of my own. Ellie took the hint and stopped moving to let me drive into her, again and again with the full length of my cock. Ellie tensed up for a moment and let out a squeal as she started to kick her feet a bit, which was evidence enough for me that I was hitting the right spot. I kept pounding into her until she collapsed forward, quivering from a powerful orgasm.

I tried to enter her again from behind as she was lying face down, prone underneath me, but she put her hand behind her and grabbed my cock. I felt Ellie start to roll over, so I backed off and let her reposition to her back.

She said she was too sensitive, but she wanted me to cum. Ellie held my cock against her thigh and said " I want you to cum all over me."

As she held her hand still, I started thrusting in her grip as if I were inside of her. As she held me, she used her thumb to rub the underside of the head of my cock which accelerated things quite a bit. After eight or nine thrusts, I felt the familiar tingle of an orgasm quickly approaching. Ellie must have felt me tense up, and assuming I was close, she took over jacking me off. I pushed forward to try to cum on Ellie's chest and felt the spasms begin, as cum erupted from my cock in pulsing streams, squirting all over Ellie's stomach and tits.

Completely spent, I fell over beside Ellie, as I heard her giggle and ask for a towel.

***

I now know Ellie is hiding something from me, and I think she likes it that way. She likes touching herself and keeping it a secret. Hiding it makes Ellie feel a little naughty, which turns her on. Ellie's secret is that she is a dirty girl, and she has invited me to join her.