I blame LW

That's right. Fuckin' LW. I was happy as a clam, until I got bored one day and surfed around on the internet for porn. Tired of more and more videos of blatantly fake situations, I found myself looking at stories, where characters were developed with a tad more realism. As anybody knows, Literotica is the mother lode, and it wasn't long before I found myself bookmarking stories, even brutal BTB stories. That's when I learned about the cheater's handbook, and the giveaway signs of your wife having an affair.

Shit.

I couldn't believe it. A few things not only niggled at me but pissed me right off. The first one was she had totally stopped initiating sex. She being Brenda, my wife of five years. That's right, only five measly years! Some stories had this kind of shit taking decades to develop, like when the last kid left the nest. We hadn't even started the nest. Shit, shit, shit.

I tried to figure it out by myself. She was usually home on time--we both worked, doesn't matter where. She never ran to the shower or anything like that. However, I noticed that on Tuesdays and Thursdays her hair smelled different. So, if she was cheating on me, those were the days. I shook my head when the realization hit me. Every freakin' week! No wonder she no longer initiated anything with me. Bitch.

I'm an accountant, mild-mannered by appearances, but I was fucked if I was putting up with this. I took the next Tuesday off, and parked in the parking lot opposite her job (HR at at a small manufacturing plant). I figured she met her stud either over lunch or after work, leaving early. Just before lunch I spotted her leaving, and loitering in the parking lot. I called her work, and the receptionist told me she had just left for lunch.

"Alone?" I asked. "Maybe I'll go surprise her. Do you know where she went?"

All of a sudden, the receptionist became evasive. Sounding cagey, she said, "Uhh, nobody left with her, and she didn't say."

"How long is your lunch break?"

"An hour, usually," she replied, "but our boss doesn't get upset if we run over a few minutes now and then. Do you want me to leave a message?"

"No need. I think she might go to Sammy's Subs. It's close and they're quick."

A few minutes later an older guy also walked out and headed to a black Mercedes. He got in, and out of nowhere Brenda appeared and slid into the passenger seat. As they left, she either ducked to avoid being seen or get a head (ahem) start on his lap. Whatever, it looked to any observer like he was leaving alone.

He obviously didn't know me, so it was easy to follow them... to a close-by no-tell motel. He got out, registered, returned, and opened room #106. She opened the passenger door and joined him in his room.

My juvenile brain sprang into action, and cost BimboGuy one of his four valve stems. I didn't want to overdo it--hopefully this would seem like a coincidence, and that was good enough for the first time.

While I waited, I called my brother, whose wife worked as a clerk for the local police department. I told him what was happening and asked him to get his wife to look up the license number, and get all the info on the guy she could. Mr. Frederick Halsen he was, married to Alice, two kids, living in an upscale neighborhood we knew about, but had never been to. He was the sales VP for Brenda's employer.

I called the company, asking for the president. I explained to the receptionist I was a potential customer, and Mr. Halsen, their VP, was standing me up for a lunch appointment. I happened to see him enter the no-tell motel with a woman, and wondered if this was the way their company did business. While the receptionist put me through, I hung up. This should be interesting--cat among the pigeons.

While waiting for the pigeons to start scattering, I sat and wondered. Should I let the dickwad's wife know? While pondering the question, I decided to mess with Mr. Halsen. I called the motel and asked for him. "Please wait. He's on another call."

I hung up and chuckled, wishing I could be a fly on the wall of #106.

Brenda's fuckbuddy must have opted not to answer the phone. I could just imagine him asking aloud who could know either of them was there? Apparently, their boss wasn't taking no answer for an answer, so the clerk speedwalked to #106 and banged on the door. Halsen cracked open the door, red-faced, hair standing on end, sweaty and clad only in a wife-beater and red boxers.

My phone has a nice telephoto lens. Hee hee. Poor Mr. Halsen. How did his boss know he could be found at the no-tell? That had to make him sweat even more. What could be so urgent anyway?

Less than five minutes later, the harried couple burst out of the room and scrambled to his car. Click, click, said the fake shutter noise on my phone.

Neither obviously had time to shower, so Brenda looked completely disheveled and confused, carrying her heels, her tender feet making her flinch, exposed to the pebbles on the parking lot. Halsen had no patience for her and yelled at her to hurry the fuck up. He was in the car and had it started while she was still bumbling on her bare feet to get there.

Knowing how luxury cars worked, I knew his tire pressure monitor would now be freaking out. Not surprisingly, Halsen bolted out of his luxo-mobile and looked at both driver-side tires. All fine. After kicking the front tire, he walked to the other side and saw the rear passenger tire. Flat. He slammed both hands on the car's roof, uttering a stream of expletives. I could see his mind race from where I sat. He didn't dare show up with the inevitable grease stains from changing a tire, so he'd have to call AAA. And wait at least an hour. He had no choice but to call his boss to tell him he'd be late. Taggart, his boss, was an old-school, straight-up guy.

I opened my window to catch at least one side of the conversation. No, the boss had to be mistaken, he had no appointment with any prospective client. No, he could not explain how said prospect would know his number. He was at lunch, a normal thing. After hemming and hawing he coughed up my wife's name. Evidently Taggart wasn't buying anybody having lunch at a motel, and he wouldn't let Halsen dance around who he was spending time with. No, she didn't report to him, she was in HR. After a while, it seemed his boss let him go, since the prospective client who called had hung up, leaving no contact info with the receptionist.

Halsen and my wife still had to wait for the AAA guy.

Lunchtime by now was over, so I called Brenda's office again, and again got the receptionist. She explained that Brenda had not yet returned. No, she had no idea where she went.

Next, I called Brenda's cell.

"Hi, Robbie," she said.

"Hi," I said. "I just wanted to stop by with some flowers and take you to lunch, but the receptionist told me you had already taken off. Where did you go?"

Stuttering and stammering, she said, "Uh... umm... I just went for a drive to the park."

"That's funny, your car is still in the parking lot. I checked before I went in to make sure I'd catch you."

"Uh.. Umm... I went with Laura. We took her car."

"Oh, OK. Well, lunchtime is over. Are you back yet?"

"Uh... hmm.., no, we're on our way."

"Alright, I'll just wait in reception. How long till you get back?"

"Umm... it might be a while. Laura got a flat, and we're waiting for AAA."

"Do I need to come pick you up so you won't have to wait in the heat?"

"Uh... umm... no thanks. I don't want to abandon Laura, you know."

"I understand. Okay, I'll head back to work. See you tonight."

Unseen by my traitor-lying-bitch wife and her scumbucket boss, I exited the lot and stopped by a grocery store. I picked up a cheap but pretty flower arrangement and headed for Brenda's work. There, I asked for Laura Fisher, the coworker she supposedly was at lunch with.

Laura came out with a big smile. "Hi Robbie, Brenda is still at lunch. Did you ask to see me?"

"Yes," I said. "I wanted to surprise Brenda with lunch and some flowers, but I guess I missed her."

Laura's face showed no signs that she was in on my wife's subterfuge. "Oh, that's a pity. Did you want me to pass these on to her?"

"No, thanks. These are for you. She missed her chance. I know you've been a good friend to her and I happen to have these flowers, so I thought why not let you enjoy some random flowers?"

"Aww, Robbie. That's so nice of you!"

"Okay, I'll head out. Enjoy the flowers."

"Oh, I will," she gushed.

Exiting, I scoffed under my breath. How would the cheating slut try to lie her way out of it tonight when she returned and learned that I knew she was not with Laura?

--

That evening, I was home early (day off, remember?). Brenda still hadn't showered, and made a move to rush upstairs when she arrived. Anticipating that, I blocked her way. "Brenda, we need to talk." Ha, if I wasn't so hurt and pissed at her betrayal, I would have enjoyed being the one saying it, as oppose to hearing it, like in all those LW stories.

"Let me just change out of my work clothes," she said impatiently.

"No. Take a seat. This won't take long."

"Please, I--"

"I said no!" I thundered. "Sit the fuck down! Now."

Her eyes flew open. I had never spoken to her in anything other than the voice of love.

Her face a whiter shade of pale, she sat on the edge of the living room sofa.

"I'm going to divorce you."

"What! Why?" she screamed.

"Because I want to. We live in a no-fault state, and I don't need any reason. But I'm sure Laura busted your lying and cheating and told you she wasn't going to cover for you. I was in the parking lot of the no-tell when you were supposedly in the park with Laura. I saw your fuckbuddy Halsen and you stumble out of room #106, out of breath and disheveled, not even showered. I don't know how long you and he have been at it, and I don't care. I don't care why either. All I care about is getting away from your lying, cheating unfaithfulness. Not even five years.

"Halsen's wife is having this conversation with him at this moment, so the two of you can figure out where you want to move, because she is throwing him out. Maybe he will want to wait to see where he can get another job, because I suspect Taggart will fire his ass tomorrow. But the good news is the two of you will have lots of time to deepen your acquaintance.

"No, Robbie! Please, I don't want a divorce."

"Oh, of course not. You'd much prefer to have me pay the bills while you fuck around with Halsen. But that's not what I want. We don't have much saved yet, but I've taken my 50%. Beyond that, there's not much to split. Our apartment lease is up in three months. I'll pay my half, and you can pay yours. But I'm done here. I'll find another place to live.

"Okay, you're still stinking from your fuck session with Halsen, so you can go and take your shower now. When you're done, I'll be gone. I've already packed my stuff."

--

The comments I read on those LW stories tells me the BTB crowd will want to see more of the knife twisted and the gory details of the burn. I write for my pleasure and that doesn't bring me pleasure, so feel free to use your imagination. Or add to the story.