The Slow Burn of Family Grief

I met Marie when we were in college. We hit it off and as soon as I graduated and got a job, we married. Seven months later, Julie was born. Timing was, well, let's say fortuitous. The problem was that we were unprepared for a baby, uncertain employment, and lots of other issues. My Mom and Dad were great, we lived with them for a couple of years while we got our shit together.

I saw pretty quickly that teaching Maths and Physics was not going to be enough, Marie would have to work as well, and while I didn't mind her working, I wanted to do better for her and Julie. Looking around, I spoke to one of my old Professors and he told me that they were always looking for Civil Engineers. I had already gained a number of the course requirements for another degree, but I would need two years of intense Engineering studies.

Studying full time and working part time is not easy, but I did it. Marie worked full time, Mom looked after Julie until Sean came along. Okay, we got careless and the condom broke. Mom really did step up, Marie went back to work, I kept working and studying.

Within weeks of graduation, I had a new job. It was great, I was away for a couple of weeks and back home for a week. It wasn't an easy job, by any means, but I actually liked it a lot more than teaching. Apparently I developed a lot of good relations with everybody on the job, and soon learned that I could be promoted to more responsibility on the job, with more pay. Really handy with a wife, two kids and now a house to pay for. This last was made easier with Marie also getting a new position with more money and more responsibility. The kids were growing and before I knew it, were of school age.

I was involved in several projects, working closely with architects and senior project managers, contractors and sub-contractors. My employer liked me, always an important point, and started giving me more and more responsibilities. I found myself on job sites for weeks at a time, sorting problems. Usually these were the sub-standard work types of problems and I got a reputation for being a hard ass. My motto being "do it right the first time, save someone a fuck ton of grief in ten years."

There were tenders to be made, and I was asked to review a few at home. Sometimes corners were cut, but on big jobs, you really can't because it will cost you dearly. Reputation can be a huge part of a contract, and a good reputation always critical for big contracts. This meant that I was often on the road, away from home, so it shouldn't have been a surprise when I came home unexpectedly, wanting to surprise Marie and found her in a position she should not have been in. On her back, with a young stud buried deep between her legs.

The subsequent divorce wasn't an issue, she agreed to buy me out of the house, she had a great job working full time, a lot of it from home, and I agreed to pay a reasonable amount of child support for the kids. Her income was more than enough to cover a re-written mortgage with that extra child support. Clearly we had been drifting apart, but I was too tied up in work to notice. I really did make an effort with the kids, school plays and sports and such, when I could. Julie was far more understanding than Sean, him being something of a sports focused, self-centered brat then, I wasn't surprised.

My employer gave me a project to manage, a large swimming and gym complex, to be chief engineer on in another State. I did that, and after that, they gave me another, a rebuild of a college football stadium. And another and another. I went home for the kids birthdays, they would come to me wherever I was for part of their vacation times, and the years passed. Julie was a Senior at high school, a cheerleader and eighteen years old. Her brother, a sophomore and grown up a bit, was on both the JV football and baseball teams, and was looking good for the Varsity teams.

Going over a site, when no-one was working, checking some of the work done, I wasn't happy, and my cell went off. It was Julie. I was a thousand miles away and wouldn't see her until summer vacation, but it wasn't that unusual to hear from her. "Hi gorgeous, how are you?" I said.

"Dad!" I could tell from her tone she was seriously upset, boyfriend probably.

"Julie, what's wrong?"

"Dad-" She stopped, this was serious, she was normally in control of herself. "Dad-,"

I waited and heard her crying. my heart melted. "Come on Jules, tell me, what's happened?"

"It's Mom, she- she's-"

I felt the blood drain out of my face, "She's what, Jules?"

"Mom is d-d-dead!" Julie cried.

There was a voice in the background, I couldn't quite make out what it was saying but sounded like a male voice.

"Hello, Mister Johnson," this man said.

"Yes, I am."

"Officer Wilton from the Pasadena PD," he said, "I understand that you are Julie and Sean's father."

"Yes, that is correct," I replied, trying hard to keep Julie's news inside.

"I regret to inform you that Marie McCallister passed away a few hours ago."

"How? I mean how did she pass?"

"The first responders are suggesting that she had a stroke of some description. Julie was saying that she was complaining of a headache last night, took a couple of Tylenol and went to bed early."

"Then why are the police there?" I asked.

"I assure you it is normal procedure with an unexpected death, Mr Johnson. Under State law, we must attend and an autopsy will have to be performed to determine the exact cause of death."

I took this in, realizing that there was nothing I could do from here. "Okay, I'm in Portland, working here. I'll be there soon as I can get a flight down. What's happening with the kids now?"

"Julie is talking about contacting her grandparents, and maybe stay there for the next few days, until some other arrangements could be made. I assume you would be the 'other arrangements'?"

"Oh yeah, for sure. Thanks for that. Okay, can you put Julie back on, please?"

"Sure."

The cell phone was handed to Julie who was still sobbing. "Hey girl, I'm going to need you to be strong for a few days, can you do that, love?"

"I-I-I - I can try," she replied.

"Okay that's my girl. Now I'll ring Grandma, and they should be there soon. If I can get a flight today, I'll see you at Grandpa's this evening. I'll let Grandma know, okay?"

"Y-y-y-es Dad!"

"Look after Sean, he's not as tough as he like to think he is, so you be strong for the both of you."

"I-I-I will, Daddy!"

"I love you, big girl, and I'll be there as soon as I can."

"O-okay Dad, love you too."

She hasn't called me Daddy in many years. Fuck. I knew Marie wasn't dating, the last guy was a real asshole, according to the kids, so she would have been alone. Now the kids are alone too and I am stuck on a job. First thing, call Mom. A boy always knows to turn to Mom and Dad when trouble hits. I let them know and their first thoughts were to get the kids and give them a place to stay. Knew that was gonna happen. They're the absolute best.

Called my Construction Boss and let him know I was not going to be around for a while, then called my Company Boss and let him know what happened. His response was that the Company owed me some three weeks leave, so put the plane tickets on the Company account and see you in about three weeks. If I needed more time, then let him know. He didn't have to do that, but he did anyway, good guy to work for. Called the airline and got a flight that evening. Have to rush, but it's doable.

Landing in LAX I called Mom and found that the kids were with them in Pomona, not sleeping, not happy and were waiting for me. I spoke to them and told them I would be an hour and a half, but they were going to be patient or try and get some sleep. I had a hire car waiting for me, an Uber wasn't going to help this trip I thought.

When I got to my folk's home, where I grew up, it was just after midnight. The door opened and Julie was there, Sean right behind her. Ever been rushed by a couple of people, one a running back? I barely kept my feet as they wrapped themselves around me. They had been crying, and were still sobbing, well, what did I expect, stoicism? Not likely. They had me in tears, and their Grandma, standing on the porch, gave me that very brief look of parental approval, followed by that one that says, buckle up buddy, you're needed.

I unwound them from me, and grabbed my bag out of the car. We walked to the house where I greeted Mom and then Dad, condolences all round, the usual noises. I know sounding callous here, but the reality is that Marie and I had little do with each other for years. Our only contacts were the kids. Neither of us remarried, both of us had other people in our lives from time to time, and, for me, it was more like I had learned of the passing of a friend from College I hadn't had much to do with since. I was more upset that the kids were upset at the loss of their mother and being there, with them, is the only thing I can do for them right now.

It had been a long day for all of us and Mom and Dad had set bedrooms up for us, but Julie didn't want to be alone. Mom and Dad went to bed and the three of us sat on the sofa, Julie on my left and Sean on my right. I had my arms around them with Sean leaning under my armpit while Julie was the same. I had draped my arms over them, holding them close, but being very mindful of where I was touching them.

They were exhausted, as was I and soon we were all asleep, all fully dressed, on the couch. Some time am, it was dark, I woke up as something touched my left wrist. Half asleep I didn't worry about it, not thinking, I felt my hand being pressed into something soft. When I realized what it was, I woke with an adrenaline start. Did Julie just put my hand on her breast?

I jumped up, waking Sean and Julie jumped up, crying, "What? We were sleeping and you just jumped up!"

I was, I must admit, somewhat nonplussed, perhaps I was dreaming. It certainly didn't feel like it. Jeez, not something they needed right now. I shook my head, "Sorry to startle you guys, bad dream." I took a breath, "Sean, you head up to my old room and Julie, take the guest room."

"What about you Dad?" Sean asked.

"I can sleep here until the camp bed is set up, tomorrow," I replied, "Wouldn't be the first time I've slept on this old thing."

"'Kay," Sean still half asleep, wandering off, climbing the stairs.

Julie looked at me, "I want to stay with you Dad, always feel safe with you close."

I didn't really want an argument at this time of the morning, so I caved, "It's getting a bit cool, I'll get us a couple of blankets." I found the blankets in the old hallway cupboard, same place they were when I was growing up. I handed one to Julie and draped the other over myself as I sat. Sitting on the couch Julie snuggled into me, pulling my blanket over herself. I must admit I was more than a little uncomfortable right now.

"I love how you smell, Daddy, how you've always been so patient with us. I know you couldn't be with us, Mom made it clear as to why, but that's okay, you're here now."

"Mom told you why, did she?" I asked, quite cynically.

"Oh yes, she told me she was fucking around and you caught her."

I was absolutely shocked. I had never heard Julie drop an F-bomb before, but also she made it a double whammy. Marie had actually told her the truth.

"Oh yeah, Mom and I had a very special relationship, we were completely honest with each other. She loved you, even though you were divorced. She really felt that she never deserved you in her life." That did surprise me, what else were they talking about? Julie came close and hugged me, again. "I know you're going to have to go back to work, and we'll stay here with Grandma and Gramps, but that's okay. We know you'll come when you can."

My eighteen year old daughter was already deciding things like this? When did that start? She was compliant as a kid, to a point. If you could explain stuff to her reasonably, she would listen, otherwise, no chance. I guess she's grown up a lot, but then, I haven't been there so why am I so surprised? Marie's death has hit me more than I would have thought, so fuck it, I am rambling now so shut up and get some sleep.

Light filtered into the lounge where, as I woke, and I found myself in the uncomfortable position of having my daughter's face in my lap, staring at my morning wood. How did that happen? I had sat up and allowed Julie to stretch out a bit, as she was leaning into me, but sometime though the night she must have slid down and rolled onto her other side, landing face first in my lap. How did that not wake me?

Without thinking, I tried to move, but woke her instantly. She muttered something and buried her head right onto my cock. She must have noticed something because she started shaking her head slowly. I did feel that familiar tingling of excitement in my hard cock, but this was wrong, just wrong. I pushed the feeling down and moved. Julie's head seemed to go deeper onto my pelvis and I am sure I felt something squeeze my now rock hard dick. She lifted off me and I stood, my erection clearly outlined so I turned away from Julie and made my way to the bathroom.

Returning, much relieved, I heard the coffee pot going, and the sounds of sizzling bacon. Julie saw me and quickly ran out the kitchen with a "Keep an eye on the eggs," as she made a dash for the bathroom. I really don't know how she did it, an unfamiliar kitchen and she's been busy. Looking around I could see there was toast, beans, eggs and bacon all being prepared. I left the eggs until they looked like how done they should be, just as Julie returned. The bacon was crispy ready, the toast ready, the beans heated, Heinz beans, didn't mind an English breakfast at all.

Julie dished it up and sat me at the table, just as she had been doing whenever they would come to me, for years now. Marie always told me that someone who knows their way around a kitchen will never go hungry. I'm not a bad cook, just didn't always have time for it. Really only cooked when the kids were there, most of the time it was store bought or home delivered, it's just easier to heat something in the microwave. Lazy, I know, but it's convenient.

Sean came down the stairs, and knowing her brother, Julie already had a plate for him. Can't resist the smell of bacon, she told me. That was how the Sunday started, and Julie kept it together all through breakfast. Mom and Dad joined us, but told us not to fuss and ended the discussion by going out. Dad's still working and Mom hasn't needed to work for more than a decade now, so she volunteers at the local library.

During the day the kids talked about their Mom, things they remembered, things they thought about what she did when she got it right. Things about what happened when she got it wrong. There was a boyfriend, a few in fact, neither of them liked the last one, but he didn't last long, none of them did. There was a number of her women friends who they both liked, and a couple they didn't. There were some tears, some laughs, some stories. I pretty much let them go, get it out of their systems.

Mom and Dad came home, after replenishment, and conversation took a more practical turn. The kids wouldn't be going to school this week, which is okay, they both have outstanding grades. Neither have any important assignments due in the next week, and what work they need to accomplish can be done at home. We'll have to get their laptops and more clothes from home, but we can arrange that through the cops, according to what Officer Wilton told Mom last night. No issues there.

The rest of the day was spent trying to put some perspective on this whole, sad sorry event. During the week, I helped cheer the kids up when they were down, Dad worked, Mom went to her library three days. I did think about Disneyland, but they weren't easily distracted kids anymore.

We all spent some time talking to the cops, and Sean, as a minor, needed a parent there. The questions were cursory, only asking about the circumstances as best he could remember. Me, it was more about where was I, how did I get here and so on. Julie told me the same story, and essentially, they weren't treating this as "suspicious" so unless the autopsy turned up something wrong, it should only be a short time before the body is released for a funeral.

In the mean time, Julie didn't insist on sleeping on the couch again. My old friend, the camper bed, was set up in a spare room, where I was accompanied by a lot of accumulated memories, junk, and a wall of books.

The kids went back to school after a week, I hung about, taking them to school, picking them up in the afternoon. It was good to spend time with them, but I felt somewhat useless through the day, so I had to call my Company Boss.

I spoke to Mike, my Company Boss, and as I brought my laptop with me, he asked if I could go over a project they were making a feasibility study of. The major work had been done, so if I would review it and make sure that nothing big had been missed. Okay, I can be something of a workaholic, but Mike did tell me I was back on the clock, and they still owed me a week and a half vacation time. They had another project manager come in to oversee my job in Portland, so I needn't bother with anything there until I got back. Mike and I have been friends ever since I joined the Company, he was a good guy, very astute administrator. If you fucked up, he'll rip you a new one, but it was never referred to again, unless you fucked up the same way a second time. If you could defend your decisions, logically, with evidence, prove you were right, he'd also back you all the way. Most importantly, he's a good guy, no pretence, what you see is what you get, and easy to work with, consistent.

So I was busy during the day and could spend evenings with my family, something I hadn't done for a very, very long time. We quickly fell into a routine, Mom and Dad would go to bed, usually followed by Sean, and Jules and I would be watching something on dad's Netflix. Only when we were alone would Jules snuggle up to me, something I had not managed to avoid since that first night. After the first week or so, I'm not sure I wanted to avoid it, but we are alone and not likely to be interrupted.

One night the movie ended and I asked if there was anything else she wanted to watch.

"No, thanks," she replied, "I just want to talk to you."

"Oh? Sounds serious." I didn't really want a heart to heart, but better to get it over with.

"It's about Mom."

"Oh, okay."

"I told you the Mom never felt she was worth it, having you in her life." I nodded, "She also told me that you filled something, a void, if you like, in her that she never felt would be filled and after you broke up, she never thought it would ever be filled again."

"Look, Jules I appreciate you telling me this but I'm not sure I want to hear it." I really didn't, actually, "I loved your Mom, and coming home to her like that was such a shock, it basically wrecked me."

"She knew, and she always regretted it."

"How do you know?"

"I told you, we had a very special relationship and she never lied to me," Julie paused, "That's why I am telling you this now. This has to remain between you and me, Sean, Grandma, Grandpa and Grandma June or Grandpa Bill, or Uncle Hank can never know."

This was somewhat puzzling, what was she talking about? I nodded, "Okay, if it's that important."

"It is, because I want you to understand, I don't ever want to have to lie to you, ever."

"Okay," this is something important then. I assured her, "Between you and me then."

"Mom told me that you were a very straight shooter, a real stand-up guy, the genuine article. You never lied, you never took credit for anything anyone else ever did. You helped her develop some real honesty and value in her life, but her life was a lie."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You never knew. Before you came along, Mom was involved with a couple of women."

"Involved, what do you mean, involved?"

"Oh Mom had several male lovers before you, but she also had several female lovers as well. You never knew because she never told you. She couldn't, she was so afraid she would lose you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Mom's girlfriends, she had a few, didn't you ever suspect that there was something else going on?"

"No, she wasn't like that at all."

"I'm afraid she was, dad." Jules paused, took a breath, "And sure, it was something of a surprise to me too, but the truth is, I think I already knew. Some of her female friends were a little too friendly, a bit too touchy-feely."

"You mean one of them made an advance to you?"

"No, not at all, just when they were around and I was home, I saw their kisses were a bit too lingering, their touches were a bit too intimate. I eventually confronted Mom about it, just after my last birthday, and that's when she told me everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes, everything," Jules replied, "She didn't hold anything back. When you met she was struggling with her sexual identity, but you answered that question for her. After you two started going out, she dropped her girlfriends, remaining faithful to you. I came along, and then Sean, there was no-one else. When you started going away, she would get so lonely. With two kids and an absentee husband, what else was she going to do?"

"I know," I replied, "Was thinking about this for ages after we split up. And it's why I didn't want to put anyone else into that same position. Why I didn't get remarried."

"She went back to her girlfriends, and she had a few. Lot more than I knew about, and the occasional man. She said she was happier that you caught her with a man and not a woman, that would have hurt you much deeper, she thought."

I had to think about that. What on earth ever made her think that? Okay, yeah, I was, pretty much a straight shooter, but I don't recall the topic of sexuality ever arising.

"Mom knew you were quite prudish, and she was trying to bring you along gently to the point where you would accept a female lover." Well, maybe, but I don't recall any such discussion. "She told me that it took quite a while for you to accept just cuddling outside the bedroom was okay."

I had to stop at this, "Well yeah," I admitted, "I was uncomfortable with public displays of affection."

"Mom thought because Grandma and Grandpa don't show much affection."

Thinking about it, yeah, this would be accurate, still is. Fuck me! How much did Marie tell her?

"Look, Dad, I'm not trying to embarrass you, but there are things Mom told me that I think you need to hear. The important thing is that you're the good guy and she let you down. She knew it and regretted it, and I really think she was telling me that if we ever had this conversation I was to tell you to move on."

"Hey, wait a minute. First, it's none of your or Mom's business how I spent my life, that's my concern. Secondly I really don't need forgiveness or manumission or whatever from your Mom to live my life how I see fit."

Jules stood silently, then replied, "I'm sorry, that wasn't how that was intended." There was a note of sincerity in her voice, but fuck it, I'm not going along with whatever this was supposed to be. Jules stepped forward and hugged me. She pulled me close, I mean really close, I felt her tits close, and kissed my cheek, "I'm sorry Dad." She held me as I held her, not wanting to let go of my little girl. But she wasn't little any more.

The days settled into routines as well, take the kids to school, work on that project, whatever else Mike threw at me, cook dinners when Mom was at the library, pick the kids up after school or practices or games. Weekends were chasing Jules' and Sean's social lives, but one thing did bother me. At no time did Julie ever mention a boyfriend.

One night were on the couch, and I have to admit, cuddling with Julie was a nice way to end the day, especially when no-one else was around. I asked Julie about a boyfriend.

"I got a ton of boyfriends, Dad, really. I'm a cheerleader."

"No, I mean a specific boyfriend."

"Yeah, I understand, but really I don't have time for a steady boyfriend. If there's something special that's on, any number of boys ask me. I know that sounds a little arrogant, but it's true. Besides, I don't think I want anything to sidetrack me, I want to get into college, to pick the courses I want to do."

"Oh? What would that be?" I was expecting something like medicine or law.

"Engineering, I want to be an architect and an engineer, like my Dad."

That threw me. "I'm not an architect, but why on earth would you want to be an engineer?"

"You build things. To make monuments for the future." Julie had gotten closer then moved, to sit on my lap, something she had not done for more than ten years. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. "I want to be someone, do something, be a better version of Frank Lloyd Wright, or be as well known as I M Pei, to actually build my own designs, my own creations."

I couldn't help it. I hadn't been with anyone other than Mrs Palmer for months now, I could feel my cock getting hard. I knew she could feel it too. She didn't say anything, so I gently said, "Chase your dreams, do it and maybe, just maybe they can come true. They won't if you don't try."

I bent in closer to kiss her on the cheek, but she turned her head and I found myself kissing her lips. I went to pull back but with her arms around my neck, I couldn't go anywhere. The kiss lingered longer than I was expecting. I mean, it wasn't a deep passionate kiss, but it was a kiss, and Julie didn't let me go. A hard cock at one end, a soft mouth on mine, fuck me!

She let me go, "Ooh," she said, "Nice Daddy, really nice."

I thought she might have been a little sarcastic here, but she wasn't, she actually meant it. Then she wriggled her butt a little, just a little, I'm sure she was feeling my cock. "Yes, real nice." She smiled, "I love you Daddy."

"And I love you too, but I got a big day tomorrow, time for bed."

A shadow of disappointment crossed her face, but she pulled me in for another kiss. Again, not a deep passionate kiss, but also not a chaste father-daughter kiss. We weren't making out, but- shit, I don't know what we were doing.

"Goodnight Daddy," she said as she moved off my lap. She looked down and said, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, babe."

I took a moment to stand as she turned away and moved towards the guest room. I had my back to her and found I had to rearrange my dress, as it were, it was too obvious what was going on there. I turned to make my way up the stairs, and Julie was standing there, a small smile on her face. Obviously she saw me adjusting my dick, and I felt the warmth of a blush and her smile grew a little.

I had to admit, in that split second, I pictured her naked, stark naked. She's about 5 foot 7 inches tall, long dark hair when it's not all tied up, dark eyed like her Mom. She has about a 34B breast, but a svelte figure wide hips and in my imagination, she has a triangle of neatly trimmed bush over her mons. Her legs are well muscled and while there is no outline of a six-pack, there is no way she is carrying any spare weight. Her butt is firm and well defined, but not really hugely muscled like some cheerleaders are. All over, she is beautiful, like her Mom, really desirable, but for some reason, not having a boyfriend seemed to please me.

I went upstairs, my cock going down, turning the lights out as Julie disappeared into the guest room, and there seemed to be a long delay from the time she went through the door to the time she closed it. I went straight to the bathroom, and once there, locked the door, made my ablutions for the evening. While I was brushing my teeth, I felt the bristle of the brush and for some reason I immediately thought of Marie, the first time I went down on her.

I had no idea of what I was doing, but Marie talked me through it, and while it took a while to get used to it, and then come to being really good at it, that first time, I made Marie cum with my tongue. It was the giving of pleasure to her that I really loved. That has been my objective with oral ever since, to give a woman pleasure, no matter who the woman was. I recall looking up at Marie, into her eyes, and I felt my cock getting hard again. That was really sexy, making eye contact with her, while my tongue was pleasuring her, a very sensual memory. I had to stop and spank the monkey right then, right there.

I started slowly, gently caressing the whole length of my growing cock. I never need lubrication for this. I just don't grab it hard and have always found the natural oils in my skin sufficient, as long as I don't overdo it. My palm ran over the coronal ridge, producing a little thrill as my cock got to its full size, about six and a half inches. Not overly long but is thick. Marie would wrap her hand around it and have her middle finger and thumb touching, barely, it was thick, but to be fair, she also had much smaller hands than me.

My hand moved smoothly over my dick, long have I practised this manoeuvre, slow and smooth is its action, then as my cock reaches full size, I begin stroking it with increasing speed. It is pretty much a silent action, but sometimes the slapping of flesh against flesh is audible when I get excited. In a few minutes, I could feel the rising pressure to release my seed as the image of Marie changed to her on our bed, naked, inviting me to fuck her jumped into my mind.

Without warning the image changed. It wasn't Marie on the bed, it was Julie! At that realization my cock coughed and balls jumped pumping a stream of pearly juice over the splash back of the hand basin. Another spasm and another string followed by a third, strong flows and a large amount.

I know I hadn't had any sexual relief for a week, but I certainly wasn't expecting this. A line of semen dribbled out of my cock and over my hand. I squeezed the knob and got the last of it, and using my left hand turned the water on. In that instant before I turned the tap, I heard a floorboard creak. My hearing is pretty good and I quickly relearned the creaks of the floor in this house. That board was just outside the bathroom door and only moves when someone steps on it. I heard a very faint creak of a board at the top of the stairs. What the fuck? Was that Jules? Was she listening to me choking the chicken? Why would I be picturing her naked? She's your daughter, shit for brains! Get her out of your head!

In the following week this became the norm. Usually Jules would sit on my lap for our late night cuddles, she'd ask about Mom, or what I have been, or was, doing after the break up. Sometimes she would tell me about something Mom did, or what happened at school, and sometimes she would hold me, kissing me, gently, softly, sensuously. Inevitably, I'd get an erection but she never said anything about that, even though she could not help but feel it. One time she went to get off, but instead of standing up, she flung one leg over both mine, straddling me. She leaned forward and pressed herself against my hard cock, gave a gentle sigh, wriggled her ass a bit on my cock, then stood up.

All through this, I made no effort to stop her, nor did I encourage her. Or rather, by not stopping her, I was encouraging her. After I suggested we had better go to bed, once, she gave me a look, then smiled and said, "Whatever you like Daddy." I mean, how much more blatant was she going to get. I may not be the smartest person in the world, but even an OCD engineer like me can read all these signals. I really felt like I could just pick her up and take her to bed, fuck the living daylights out of her, without a single objection from her, but I didn't. I resisted. The thought of fucking a beautiful young woman was so appealing, but she was my daughter.

Being at my parents house was also a strong deterrent to doing anything. I knew from experience that Mom would be all over me if I was to even hug either of the kids in her presence. That first week, well, that was different, but I can tell you that the first time I brought a girl home, even holding her hand drew swift looks of deterrence from Mom. I was being deliberately seduced, aroused by Jules, but both my Mom and my natural reticence were holding me back.

The week passed and Mike assured me the work I was doing was great, just what he needed. He also told me the project was now a goer, did I want to be Chief Engineer? It was here, in LA, so there was nothing to stop me from taking it. When I told Mom and Dad and the kids, they were all happy, it would mean we wouldn't have to move anywhere. On the Friday, I got a call from Officer Wilton, letting me know the Coroner had completed his investigation.

A full copy of the report would be made available to me, as the father of the children and their legal guardian, well Sean anyway, Julie was legally an adult so she could please herself. Seems the cause of death was a cerebral haemorrhage. I know that Marie had been using hypertension medication since before Sean was born, but it seems that it was only a matter of time. A major artery in the brain was very thin walled and the headache she talked about the night of her death was likely the artery so weakened it had swollen. There was no chance of surviving this, the Coroner's report said.

As for the police, they had no further interest in the case and we could return to the property any time we wanted to. I can come to the Pasadena Station and pick up the keys and and any property they were holding any time. The deceased would be released as soon as instructions were given as to the undertaker we had engaged to prepare her for internment. She told me many years ago that she wanted to be cremated, so I assumed that would still be her wish.

I contacted her lawyer, who as the Executor of Marie's will, would also receive a copy of the report, and we arranged a time for the reading of her will. I don't know if Marie knew anything, but she was prepared at least. The lawyer informed me that the will gave the kids the house and a modest stock portfolio. There was a small mortgage but the income from the portfolio more than paid for that. If worse came to worse, I could cover that anyway. There was also a letter for me, it was sealed and I was to receive it at the reading of the will. When I told the kids about the house, Sean did say privately, that being with Grandma and Grandpa was nice, it wasn't home, he wanted to go back and resume his life. Jules made a similar comment,

We moved back to their home after Marie's service and cremation. We spent a weekend returning to the house, well, their house now. It was showing some signs of neglect, the lawns were overgrown, the house needed a good clean, but the basics were taken care of quickly. I contacted a lawn service, and a cleaning company, I would pay them, not the kids and a couple of weeks later, the house looked like it was almost brand new.

Marie's ashes were placed in a cabinet, in a sealed urn, and the seal would only be broken after Sean was over 18 years old. Marie was adamant about where to spread her ashes, and the kids knew where and when. Later Jules told me why that particular place, seems her Mom told her that the arrangement of skiing slopes and trees looked like a giant pussy. A large mound in the middle wrapped by swollen lips. She wanted to be in a cunt forever, Julie told me.

I was shocked to hear that, something I never thought I'd hear from Julie, but then, she is an eighteen year old so would know all the words.

Sean's buddies were glad to see him in the neighborhood again, and we hosted a couple of cheerleader friends of Julie's the second weekend for a movie and popcorn night. During the week, Julie still came and sat on my lap, and her kisses got more and more romantic. Weekends there was always someone in the house or they were both out with their friends. Life returned to normal for them, but for me, it was an endless round of getting the kids off to school, work during the day, checking the deconstruction of the site, making sure it was on track. Home to welcome the kids, getting dinners ready. Making sure they were up to date with their assignments then, after Sean had gone to bed, the part of the day I looked forward to the most, feared the most, alone time with Jules.

I was thinking we were going too far, and more than once I wanted to push her off and say "No, no more!" But I couldn't! I just couldn't. I wanted her, and she wanted me! It was only a matter of time before it happened, that we would be in bed together, but there was a spark of something in me that was resisting taking this any further.

Jules was sitting on my lap, hugging me, she kissed me, on the lips, any sense of pretence was gone now. My erection was hard against her ass. She then quietly asked, "You don't go out, do you Daddy?"

"What?"

"You don't have a social life, you never go out do you?"

"Well," I hesitated, "Not really, well I do during the day, quite often."

"No, I mean just go out and have a good time with friends."

"Oh," I replied, "No, all my old friends from here have moved away, have their own lives and I've been too busy to do much else."

"Yeah, looking after us is not an easy job, I know. I really love that you have just stepped up and are taking that care for us."

"What else could I do, bub?" I asked, "I might have been an absentee dad, but I never wanted to not be a part of your lives."

"I want you to be a big part of my life, Daddy," she said quietly, "A really big part."

I had to shake my head at this. She pulled herself close and kissed me, again, this time much more deeply, more sensuously than she ever had. I could feel my resolve crumbling, my cock so hard.

"Touch me, Daddy," she whispered, her voice quavering, her body quivering.

I blinked and she took my hand pulled it to her breast. "Touch me Daddy, like I want you to." I tried to pull away, but her hand held mine in place. "I love it when we are very close, Daddy. And now we can be. We don't have Grandma and Grandpa looking over our shoulders. We can do anything we want." She kissed me, deeply and I didn't pull my hand away, I didn't refuse her.

My heart was racing, my cock was straining, I felt I wanted Julie so badly, at that moment I would have thrown her on her back and ripped her clothes off and fucked her senseless. That little voice came to my rescue. No, this is wrong! I heard it yell in my ear. I jumped, dislodging Julie from my lap and pushing her off I just left her without saying a word, without listening to anything she was saying.

I fled to my room, the master bedroom. It was still, by and large, Marie's room, although I had cleaned her wardrobe and drawers out, packed them away, preparing to take it to a thrift store somewhere. The bedding, the furnishings were still to her tastes, feminine, hadn't changed that yet. I half expected Jules to chase me, but she didn't, thankfully. Just thinking about what might have happened, my cock was hard, the palm of my hand still felt her soft breast. What the fuck is wrong with me?

This is a bungalow house, single story, with a cellar. I had a friend design and build it as his first commission, and it was perfect for what I wanted. There was an en-suite, with shower and toilet, attached to the main bedroom with a completely separate bathroom, with a bath and shower, hand basin, a separate toilet between the bathroom and bedrooms, an office in the basement with another toilet, used for emergencies. The kids rooms were at one end of the house and the master bedroom at the other with the lounge, the kitchen, a dining room and a guest room between them. The floors were concrete slab, except over the basement, it wasn't floor boards covering that area, it was six quarter thick construction plywood. No squeaks, no warped floor boards, the ability of silent movement, built this way because I grew up in a place with a hardwood floor that always moved as seasons changed.

I went to the kitchen, to get a drink, as I passed the lounge I heard something, very soft moans and gasps. Fuck, Jules was still there. I thought perhaps she was crying but it wasn't sounding quite right. I stopped and heard her moan again, and then "Yes Daddy, there, right there!" Oh fuck she was masturbating, in the lounge. For fuck's sake, she could have gone to her room. Then I heard, "I know it has taken us a long time to get here, Daddy, but I wanted to fuck you the first time Mom told me about your dick."

WHAT THE FUCK? I turned around and fled. There was no way she would have heard me because the floor here is all slab, no squeaky boards. Here am I spanking the money to images of my daughter while she's rubbing one out thinking about my cock? That her Mom told her about? How the fuck did that happen? I hid in my room all night, making sure the door was locked. I'm sure I did hear the door handle turn, but I may be wrong.

In the morning, nothing was said, there was no embarrassment or awkwardness from Jules, although Sean did ask me if something was wrong. "Nah, just a work thing is distracting me," I replied. I noted that Julie had a small smile on her face. I took them to school, then go to the new site to check on the demolition progress. All looked good, speaking to the foreman there. The only real issue was an old gas station. The demolition crew had to remove the old fuel tanks and then pack the ground. As the tanks were right in the middle of the frontage, we didn't want any subsidence there at all. So far, this was the only holdup, but the City insisted it be done right, well, yeah, no shortcuts here.

I spent the rest of the day doing my job, a bit of washing, staying out of the way of the cleaner. Surprisingly, the kids took good care of their rooms, their Mom would have instilled that into them. While Marie was a bit of a neat freak, she wasn't over the top on the issue. I didn't go into their rooms to check, every day, but I just ran my eye over them when the cleaner came in, just to make sure. On the dresser in Julie's room was an envelope, addressed simply as "DAD". I really wanted to leave it there, but curiosity got the better of me.

"Dear Daddy, (it read)

I really hope I didn't frighten you last night, but I have to tell you how I feel. I have loved you like, forever, and as a little girl should love her Dad. You brought me great kindness and gentle love as a father should. I was so sad when you left but learned that even though you and Mom were not together, your love for me did not decline, it was precious to me.

I developed a huge crush on you as a pre-teen and adolescent, pretty normal actually, I learned, but that hasn't gone away.

Later, Mom and I started talking, and she would tell me of your kindness and gentle ways, your encouragement for her, for me, for Sean and how she would never have had the confidence to go back to work like she did and be good at it without you.

When I found out about her tastes in partners, Mom and I developed a special relationship and I learned a great deal more about you from Mom. I realized my adolescent crush was a true love for you. I want you to love me like a man should. I want you in every way I can think of and I want to please you in such an intimate and loving way. Please, Daddy, let me love you.

Love

Julie"

How do I react to that? Shame? Fear? Anger? Hurt? Love? Or lust? The very thought of the possibility of fucking a beautiful eighteen year old appealed to my animalistic, hormonally driven, swelling hard on. The other side was what? Something? That Julie would look at me as a potential sex partner was confusing for me. Did I desire her? In honesty, yes, I would have to say yes I do. I would love to feel her wrapped around me, my cock buried deep inside her. Was this right? No, not at all, a man shouldn't feel like this about his daughter.

I went back to my laptop and started working on my project again. After about an hour, I felt something was wrong, my calculations were going astray. I started going back over them and yeah, I had fucked up a simple calculation for a load bearing pillar, fuck me! Am I not paying attention? No I am not, the image of a naked Julie, under me was causing too many distractions. Fuck, I need a break.

Marie had bought a coffee machine, I had to get Julie to show me how to work it. The results were not great but far more consumable than Starbucks, believe me. I never knew what good coffee tasted like until I went to Portland. I'm not sure I still do, people who have been overseas come back and tell me our coffee is crap, consistently. I have to think I've never really had a decent coffee. I went back to my laptop, and looking for some distraction, I just started surfing the 'Net.

I started looking for some light reading, get out of the real world for a bit. I'm not sure how I did it, but I realized I was looking at porn, specifically, incest porn. Moms and sons, Dads and daughters, brothers and sisters, cousins. I clicked a link and went to something called Family Morsel on Wordpress, reading a story of a Dad and daughter. I read it to the end and by that time, was rock hard. I couldn't kid myself anymore, I wanted to fuck my daughter. No, not fuck, I wanted to make love to her, to pleasure her and myself in the best possible way. I couldn't deny it any longer.

My cell phone rang, breaking me out of my lustful reverie. It was Marie's lawyer's office reminding me of the reading of the will the next day. Wow, it hadn't slipped my mind, but I overlooked it being the next day. It was expected the kids would be there, as well as myself and Marie's parents. I hadn't talked to Marie's parents since long before we split up, and I do know there was little contact between them and Marie afterwards. Not real sure how it was going to go, they never liked me, nor I them, but who cares? Always thought there was something not right about them.

I thanked the legal secretary, told her I would see them tomorrow. Breaking the connection, I went back to this story and in the end, the daughter gets her father into bed, loses her cherry, and really enjoys it. There's drama along the way, other characters into incestuous relationships and a master, or mistress, manipulator pulling the strings. Everyone gets to understand their, and each other's, positions, they are all okay with it, including the cover ups and self protection. Just how do I protect us though, Jules and me.

First, there's Sean, he's the one that will notice something and while he may be a bit of a jock, he is actually quite smart to go with that. Then there will be Julie's cheerleader friends. They will notice a change in her demeanour, even if no-one else does. Mom is pretty smart and for all his distance, Dad too is not stupid. So how do I protect us?

Best bet, do nothing. My dick, however, is screaming for satisfaction - as is the rest of me. Guess I am well and truly fucked, well I am going to be. Maybe not tonight, maybe tomorrow being Friday. We shall see.

I called the school that afternoon, letting them know that they wouldn't be in the next day. The school secretary informed me that Sean was playing in an important match, would he be available? The meeting was in the morning, so if it doesn't go too long, I can bring him in if he's willing. I let the kids know when they got home and Sean almost went off, but I managed to calm him down. Julie helped, and by dinner time all was good.

Sean was in bed early and I was facing Julie for the first time after accepting what I wanted. Was I calm? Not a chance, I was thinking that if I fuck this up, I would likely never regain her trust.

""We need to talk," I started.

"Yes we do," and she came to sit on my lap.

"No, I want you there," I indicated the chair next to where I was sitting. "I want to talk and not be distracted."

She smiled a little, not a confident smile, but more a reflex as she sat down.

"Now, tell me, what happened last night? What was that all about?"

A look of uncertainty passed over her face. "What do you mean, Daddy?"

"Enough beating around the bush. You put my hand on your breast. What was that all about?" I demanded.

"What do you think it was, Daddy?"

"That's what I am asking you. Don't respond to my question with a question, just answer it."

"I told you that Mom and I had a very special relationship, didn't I." I nodded. "It was based in total honesty."

"Yes, you told me this already."

"That is what I want from you, total honesty. I am prepared to tell you absolutely everything, openly, without fear, without obfuscation, prevarication or dithering. Everything. All I ask is exactly the same thing in return. That was the agreement Mom and I made and I want to make it with you."

"And who else?"

"No-one else, ever, Not Sean, not Grandma or Grandpa, no-one."

I considered it, wondering how far this honesty would go, then I remembered what I heard last night.

"Proof of purchase, one thing, one detail, one question."

She blinked, "What?"

"I ask one question and you must honestly respond. No matter the answer."

"What if you don't like the answer? The deal is no judgement, no derision."

"I thought that would be inherent in the total honesty."

Clearly she had not anticipated this, she thought about it for a few moments, "Okay, total honesty. But I also get to ask one question under the same premise."

"What did Mom tell you about me?"

"Absolutely everything, I mean everything, she didn't hold back anything."

Dammit! I asked the wrong fucking question, too broad and I suspect she knew it. "Everything? Anything?"

"You had one question, you got your answer, my turn."

She fucking had me, I couldn't walk away now.

"When we were at Grandma's, the night I told you I was going to study both Architecture and Engineering. The night we first kissed." I nodded, "I was sitting on your lap, and you had a hard on. As we kissed it seemed to grow. You pushed me off, gently, then said goodnight. You went upstairs to the bathroom and you were masturbating." Fuck, she did hear then, I think I was now dreading the question. "Were you masturbating to images of me?"

There was no way I could avoid answering this question, nor did I think I wanted to anymore. I could feel the heat as my face turned a bright red. "Of both your Mom and you, yes"

She smiled, "She was very beautiful Mom was, and she told me that I was even more so. Often."

"Okay a deal then, total honesty."

"Agreed, total honesty." She stood, came to be in front of me and held her hand out so I took it, shaking her hand. She twisted her body and sat on my lap.

"I love being here, knowing that you will always protect me." She wriggled herself a little, pushing herself onto my hardening cock. "And I love that feeling."

"What feeling is that, Jules?" I asked.

"The feeling of your erection, Daddy," she said, "And I really want it inside me."

For her to come out with such a blatant comment was surprising. She saw the look on my face, and said "Total honesty Daddy, that is what it is. That is what I want. I want to have sex with you."

"And I would love that too, beautiful, but-"

"No buts, Daddy, when there is just you and me, it's complete openness."

"Sean?"

"What about him?"

"What if he finds out?"

"He would never say anything, he wouldn't care."

"Of course he would, he's-"

"No, he wouldn't. He is smart enough to figure it out, but he already knows how I feel and he knows that if we do sleep together then it's our choice, no-one else's, ours."

"He already knows?"

"Yes Daddy, he always knows. I don't understand how he does it, but he is just so, I don't know the word, but it's like he is emotionally telepathic or something. He always knows what I am feeling. Has done for years. Called me his rainbow."

"Rainbow?"

"Yes, red and orange when I am highly excited, green when I feel good, blue when I don't feel good and violet when I am really agitated. But he always knows and he always knew when not to ask Mom for something, or when to ask, but he worked out her lovers before I did."

"He never said anything?"

"Never, not to Mom, not to me. About a year ago I worked out what Mom was doing, and I was going to ask Sean if he had seen anything unusual. Before I had a chance to say much, he just asked if I knew. That's when I found out about his rainbow thing. Now, can we go to bed please?"

She leaned in and kissed me, deeply. He tongue penetrated my lips, found mine and caressed each other. My cock jumped and Julie wriggled her ass right on it. As we broke apart, she sighed, and whispered, "I really do want that in my mouth, my pussy Daddy."

The last of my resistance crumbled as I took a breast in hand, "I want to suck on your nipples, make you cum with my tongue and fuck you senseless. Now."

She stood and I followed her to my room. We entered and she closed the door, turning to me she kissed me again, thrusting her body fully against mine. This was what Marie would do when she really wanted it. Then the kiss, that too was Marie. Marie would undo my pants, get to her knees and take my cock into her mouth. She always said it was so thick she could barely breathe when sucking me. I love a good head job, and Marie was the best ever, no other woman I connected with came close to her.

I felt Jules fumbling with my trousers, getting them open and sliding them down. She got to her knees and caressed my cock through my underpants. "Ooooh," she sighed, "Mom got this right, it's fucking huge!"

Julie pulled my underpants down, and saw my erect cock for the first time. "Oooohhh I'm gonna love this." She took hold of it and gently masturbated me. I was already as hard as a rock and I could feel small drops of pre-cum leaking as she rubbed it over the knob. She's done this before, I thought. Well, she's a cheerleader, beautiful and has already told me she can have a boyfriend whenever she wants one. Julie slid her lips over the knob and used the inside of her cheeks to caress the coronal ridge.

I have always had trouble with women sucking me, they barely get past the knob as it slides into their mouth, except Marie. She could blow me at any time. Now why did I think of that? Jules has her lips around my knob, is lapping the frenulum with her tongue, just like her Mom used to. She then took more of it into her mouth, I could feel her lips slowly moving down the shaft her tongue still flicking over the frenulum. Fuck me! Julie was doing exactly what Marie used to do! She must have told Julie everything, even down to how to suck my dick. How the fuck did that happen?

This was the absolute best head job I had received since Marie and I split. Fucking brilliant! I could feel my knees trembling, and I was gasping every time Jules took me deep into her mouth. I could feel her tonsils rubbing on my knob. I'm not that long that I I get that far into anyone's throat, but this is the deepest for a long, long time. I felt that familiar tingling in the stem of my cock and my balls began to tighten.

I took Jules' head in both hands and said, "Better stop there, honey, we got a lot more to do tonight."

She lifted off me, smiled, "That was awesome Daddy, I loved it, and later, I promise a full blow job. I want you cumming in my mouth, soon." She licked her lips.

"Okay, but later, not tonight. Tonight I want to fuck you senseless." She positively shivered in anticipation. "Well come on," I said, pulling her to her feet by her shoulders, "Time for you to get naked and on the bed."

I pulled her to me and kissed her, tasting the smear of my pre-cum on her lips, lining her mouth. It's not a bad taste, actually. I quickly had Jules' top and bra off, and easing her onto the bed, where I could easily suckle her breasts. I ran my hands down her body and undid the button of her jeans. I slid my hand down under her panties and felt a slick, wiry patch of hair over her mons.

Kissing her breasts and sliding my hand down her panties, Jules let out a series of soft moans. As my fingers reached over her clit hood, she shook, gasping in pleasure. Even constricted by her clothing, I could still reach down further, sliding my fingers down over her swollen labia. She was fucking soaked, she wasn't just wet, she was dripping like a rain forest.

I lifted off her breast and with no ceremony I pulled her jeans and panties down in one pull. I quickly got them off her legs and she was naked under my eyes. Fuck me! Some women are beautiful when dressed, but not undressed, not Jules, she was beautiful dressed or undressed. Trim and obviously fit, flowing dark hair, a neatly trimmed patch of it over her pubis, long shapely legs, wide hips, dark nipples- I couldn't wait to get into her.

I opened her legs and scampered into position between them and lifted them to raise her hips to make it easier to get into her. Without any more foreplay, I aimed my cock into her soaking pussy. I felt it engage, and her gasp, "Oooohhh that is big, Daddy!" I pushed into her slowly, I wanted to enjoy this.

I could feel her cunt's lips opening, wrapping themselves around my dick, inviting me to go deeper. I pushed in even further, her cries of joy encouraging me to push harder. She was certainly tight, very tight, but so wet I was sliding into her considerably more easily that I would have thought.

"Yes Daddy," she cried, "Fuck me! Fuck me!"

I pulled back then thrust in again, pulled back, thrusting again and again. Over and over I went in as deep as I could. I felt her pubes brushing mine, knowing I was squashing her clit every-time I thrust into her. I could hear her moans and gasps as I did so. Her tone changed, became a little more urgent, I could feel the excitement mounting in my ball sack again, No, I didn't want to cum just yet. Much to her disappointment, I pulled right out of her, "OOHH! Don't stop!!" She cried.

Without hardly any break I swooped down and pushed my mouth onto her cunt. I wiped my tongue over her clit, hearing another gasp and a loud moan. I sucked her clit, prodding it with my tongue, over and over, her clit, her labia, taking every drop of moisture in I could with my tongue. I felt a stirring in her legs, "Yes, Yes! YES! I'm cumming, cumming!" She squeezed my head between her thighs, and yeah, she is fucking strong in the thighs, felt my ears were being crushed. She let out a huge moan and she seemed to shake all over, her head and shoulders lifting off the bed a little, even. "Oh! Oh! Oh!" she was gasping, trying to breathe, moaning and shaking all at the same time. "Oh fuck!" she said over and over.

I didn't stop there, I kept lapping her clit, as she came down from her orgasm. Slowly I let her clit go and licked further down her labia, poking my tongue into her love hole. She was still shaking a little as I lapped her, then took a long lick, from her perineum to her clit and she just shook, falling back onto the bed. I kissed back over her mons and up to her belly button. I poked into the dimple and proceeded up between her breasts, laying a line of kisses and nibbles from one nipple to the other. I got to her neck and by this time, she was squirming in delight. I kissed her lips with all the gentle and romantic passion I could, I really loved making her cum, loved the taste of her pussy.

Jules held me and, wrapping her legs around me, said "Fill me up, fill my pussy with your juice!" I kissed her again while my cock took delight in seeking that long, moist tunnel. I felt the knob engage again, after a couple of tries and slowly pushed into her. Jules didn't wait, she thrust her hips up and impaled herself, even in a prone position. She gasped as my prong pushed aside the walls of her fuck tunnel, sighing with pure pleasure as my pelvis squashed her clit.

"Fuck me, Daddy! Fuck me hard!" She demanded, so I did.

I rammed my cock deep into her, bottoming out, then pulling back to thrust gain, to the steady stream of her moans and groans of delight. She had wrapped her legs around my thighs pulling me into her, her arms around my body, making sure I was going nowhere. I heard the constant refrain, "Fuck me! Fuck me!" so I obliged in the best way possible.

I wanted to make her cum again, so I made sure that every time I thrust in, I was squeezing her clit between our pelvises. Her moans increased in intensity, her actions becoming more erratic as her body just took over. We were bouncing pretty solidly on the bed now, fast and furious be damned, this was speed fucking. I could feel the tension in my body building but I held it back as best I could.

It was a little fortuitous that I had had a good session with Mrs Palmer that morning, because I am pretty sure that I would not have lasted this long without it. I pounded on Jules' body, loving the feel of my dick buried deep inside her. Listening to her moans of appreciation, spurred me to drive as best I could, provide her with all the pleasure she wanted.

I felt her arms around me pull me in tightly, her legs quivering and locking me into place. Her moans turned into a cry of passion, "CUMMING!" she cried, again as I thrust onto her body, her breath stop as her body seized up in her release. Her cunt just grabbed my dick demanding my semen, I couldn't hold it any longer. I pushed into her deeply, and my balls spasmed, pumping jets of my cum deep into her pussy. Over and over, I pumped her full of my juice, the thrill of shooting inside her sweeping outward from my dick. It subsided and slowly I collapsed on top of her.

I was spent. My semen inside my daughter, the taste of her pussy on my lips. The muscle weariness of a satiated lover, the gasping for air, the thrill of my heart thumping like it hadn't pumped for long time. That all felt so good. I was in love. I was in love with my daughter. She was so much like her Mom I couldn't feel any other way. I wanted her, I desired her but this little voice in me was screaming "Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!" I ignored it.

I mustered enough strength to roll off Julie, as she lay prone, under me. I could hear her breathing, heavy and long inhales.

"That- that- that was fucking amazing!" Jules said, "No-one ever made me cum like that except Mom!"

My heart jumped, I sat up, "Mom?" I asked.

"Oh shit! Did I say that out loud? Oh fuck! Oh fuck!" Julie jumped off the bed, and held her hands to her cheeks.

"Oh shut up and come back to bed!" I ordered harshly, not wanting to put up with such displays after a really great fuck. Hesitantly, she stepped back to the bed and sat down, her back to me. I softened my tone, "Come, lie down and talk to me."

As she lay down I held my arm out so she could rest her head on my shoulder. "I worked up the courage to confront Mom about her girlfriends," Julie started, "She told me point blank that it was true, she was having sex with two of them."

Two? I thought, well, okay, To be sure, I had seen enough porn over the years to not be surprised but Marie? Wonder how that started?

"I asked her how she could do that? She had been married, had two children. She told me she was involved with women before she met you. I got most of the story in the next few weeks, but there were things I never asked about.

"She told me that a woman can touch another woman in ways that a man, no matter how hard he tries simply cannot. A woman is soft and gentle in ways that a man could never be, ever. She held me while telling me this, and a lot more, and then she told me that a woman kisses like no many can kiss a woman. She kissed me.

"My heart just raced, my nipples grew hard and I felt my pussy swelling at her touch, her kiss. I really couldn't help myself. I kissed her back and we held each other, kissing.

"Her hands moved over my body, touching me, exciting me, and she asked me if I wanted her to stop. I didn't, and she undressed me, telling me I only had to say stop and she would. Her hands touched every part of me, excited me so strongly, it was just incredibly sensuous and really sexy.

"Using just her fingers and her lips, she made me cum the first time by caressing my clit and suckling my nipples. It was wonderful, no-one had made me cum like that before. She used her mouth then, kissing and nipping and sucking on different parts of me. I was just brilliant, I couldn't help but respond.

"She took my sex into her mouth, using her tongue on my labia, poking my vaginal canal, then wiping her mouth over my clit, it was just so pleasurable. She made me feel so loved, so desirable. I came a second time, as she sucked on my clit. I had her tech me how to love a woman, and I loved it, both taking pleasure and giving pleasure."

Jules broke up at this point, crying for her lost lover. I held her and reassured her it was alright. I'd never heard it explained like this before. While I am thinking it's more than a little weird, a mother having lesbian sex with her daughter, it was no more weird that my having sex with that same daughter. I can appreciate what a woman can do with another woman a lot better now than I could have before. Julie calmed down as I held her and she continued.

Julie told me that Marie described my dick in intimate detail. It's girth, length, color, how my balls would hang normally, how they hang when I'm erect. She described how my ball sack tightened as I am about to ejaculate. Marie told Julie that she loved my cock and that if Julie ever got the chance, then to make sure she loved me in the best possible way, and never regret it. Marie also told her that if the opportunity arose, she would love to have a threesome with me and Julie. This was intriguing, clearly Marie was giving Julie permission for Julie and I to have sex if the chance came up. I had no clear answer, but my cock was hard again after listening to her story.

Marie never gave any indication to me that she was even considering such ideas. then why would she? She was likely thinking that it would never happen as I would never accept it. Until this last couple of weeks, she would have been right. I love my daughter, and I loved having sex with her and this realization shook me in unexpected ways. Most importantly, I'm never going to be sorry for it, never regret it and will keep loving her for as long as she wants me to.

Julian and I hugged and kissed, touched each other, I masturbated her, then she masturbated me. She came on my fingers and I came a little over her hand. We had fun, that's for sure.

Eventually Julie made her way back to her own bed and I was left with the memories, the aroma and sensations of having her in my bed. I hope she comes back soon. I lay in bed thinking of all the questions I would ask her, to slowly explore her relationship with her mother, with me, wondering how for this would go, drifting off in that post-tryst comfort.

I slept until the morning alarm went off, and knowing the kids weren't going to school I didn't rush to get out of bed. Besides, I still had the warmth of Julie's arms and legs wrapped around me and my cock. What a great night.

Eventually, I got up, showered and prepared for the day. I had some idea of what the will was going to say, but not all of it. Jules and Sean were also curious, but they already knew the major points.

Presenting ourselves at the lawyer's office, we were shuffled into a small meeting room, where Marie's parents were waiting for us. The greetings were formal, courteous, but not warm, not personal.

A few minutes later, a woman came in, probably about my age and definitely in charge. "Thank you all for coming," she said, looking at the kids, "I can't tell you how sorry I was to learn of Marie's passing, Julie, Sean, she was a real friend."

Sean nodded and Jules said "Thank you, I do know your friendship meant a lot to her."

One of Marie's lovers then. Okay, I don't have a problem with that if she doesn't.

She looked at me with faint disdain, "Adam, we've never met, but I do understand Marie never regretted her choice with you, only the mistakes she made."

"Thank you," I replied surprised, so she knew as well.

"Okay, lets get on with it then."

That did surprise me, she had nothing to say to Marie's parents. Why? What was that all about.

The formalities of identification and opening paragraph was gone through, and I noted that her curt attitude to Marie's parents was certainly noticed by them. Then came the bequests.

"To my two wonderful children, I leave my interests in the Marie McCallister Family Trust, the trusteeship to be divided evenly between them when both are of legal adult age. If both are of legal age upon my demise, then that Trusteeship will pass to them immediately.

"In the event that neither, nor Sean, being the younger, are of legal adult age, for the interim period, Trusteeship is to be divided between the current trustees and my former husband, Adam Dale Johnson. I know he will care for them and will, in all matters, treat with them fairly and honorably.

"To may parents, I would leave with you an envelope. This envelope contains reminders of my childhood and I hope that they understand I want them to have absolutely nothing to do with my children. If Julie or Sean chose to meet with them, it is they who must initiate contact, but I would advise them to break off all contact with them, forever. "

The lawyer handed them a large envelope, full of papers I would think. "I would point out here that Marie made a duplicate of this envelope which is in my keeping. I do not know the contents of this envelope, but I have very clear instructions as to what to do with it in the event of your contesting the will or seeking guardianship of the children," the lawyer said, somewhat pointedly, and with more than a little disgust. There's something very wrong here, I thought. "That is all there is for you here, so at this point, I would ask that you leave."

Marie's parents were stunned, they tried to protest, but the lawyer shut them down quickly. "Marie's instructions made it clear that once you have the envelope you were to leave. You have the envelope, so please leave." She reached over to an intercom and pressed the button. "Mr and Mrs McCallister were just leaving, would you please come and show them the way out."

"Yes, Ma'm," said the male voice at the other end. A few moments later a large guy opened the door and said, "This way, Mr and Mrs McCallister." His tone was pleasant, but wasn't going to take any bullshit. Dan McCallister is not a little man, but he was too old to be tackling this guy, they left.

Julie recovered first, "What was that all about?"

"I don't know, but it seems relations between your Mom and her parents have been strained for many years. Marie never told me why, just she didn't really want to have much to do with them. Nearly done, so please, let's continue."

"To Adam, I leave a letter and I hope he will forgive me for hurting him." She handed the envelope over and I opened it. It was a very short note and a key.

"To my dearest Adam,

I cannot apologize deeply enough for what I did to you, I truly regret it. I may never be with you again, no matter how much I wanted to be, but I ask you to care for the children, help them to become the best versions of themselves.

You know my parents, but not well enough. They are greedy, grasping, abusive, and may try to take the Trust and apply for guardianship of the children. They cannot be allowed to. The envelope given them contains evidence as to why they should never be allowed near the children. There is a copy of everything, being held in a safety deposit box as well as a copy in my lawyer's hands.

(Details of the key's importance and the location of the box were included.) No need for you to look at it, but if they try anything just drop it into the police. They will know what to do with it. Please, only if they try anything.

I know I don't have the right to ask this of you, but I ask in the hope that you will accept my wishes.

You were the only man I ever loved, but it took me too long to understand how important a thing that is.

As someone else would say, "Live long and prosper."

Marie.

PS: Julie is a very special woman today, love her as she wants and she will be a better person for it."

That last bit was in a different pen, so must have been included recently. Unbelievable! She knew! She fucking knew what was going to happen between Julie and me.

After that it was all over, arrangements were made, I signed a number of documents assuming a Trustee's role in her Trust. There was a lot of papers, but the amount on the bottom line was actually pretty substantial. There is a number of laws and other things regarding transfer of Trusteeship and issues with liabilities and taxation accompanying a lot of other bureaucratic bullshit, but we got through it.

Sean and Julie managed to sit through all this calmly and while obviously sad it had to happen, they were not overly distressed. I thought that neither of them were going to be on top of their games today. I was right. Sean was pulled early from his game, and Julie made a couple of elementary mistakes, that while not disastrous, were obvious. I had spoken to their respective coaches, earlier, and while they both wanted to go on, it was clear they could not continue.

That night I sat and cuddled them both, praising them for their courage, and just telling them how proud I was and how proud their mother would have been of them. This is not the kind of experience that they could just shrug off, it had a profound effect on them, being slapped in the face with their own mortality like this. They were growing up and they were both being a little irritated at their friends lack of maturity.

We talked about patience and kindness, about love and death, and how to get over the terrible things that happen to us from time to time. I told them of my early experience with members of a construction crew on a site I was working on were killed when a perfectly normal concrete pour went terrible wrong. Two men lost their lives when a platform they had constructed gave way, pushing one man down and pinning him under tons of wet concrete and the other fell four stories landing on a steel rail. How did I deal with that, not easily, I can tell you. Later investigation revealed that one end of the platform was not properly connected to the scaffolding. They built the platform and signed off on it, but that didn't make it any easier for any of us who were involved.

Not the same as losing a Mom, sure, but similar. Made me a lot more safety conscious, or maybe paranoid. I never have the same people building temporary scaffolding as perform the inspections on it afterwards on my sites. So what they were learning was that they have to face each day, and be grateful for it.

Sean went to bed and Jules and I were cuddling on the lounge. She kissed me, and told me that she just wanted to be held for a while. I did respect her wishes, just held her, reassuring her it was going to get better.

Julie's hand slipped down and caressed my cock. I felt her fingers trying to undo the zipper on my pants. "Oh fuck it," Julie said, "Come to bed Daddy, want to make you cum."

And cum I did.