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"Just so I'm clear, I'm not trying to break up your relationship or cause any discord between you and Amber" Ryan clarified the next day, again on the balcony for privacy. "I apologize that it happens to be your wife, and I'm cognizant of that", he assured, "but I'd imagine I'd quite enjoy it, and then that would be that. Never shall a word be spoken about it again."
Some of Amber's points from the previous night had all 'logically' made sense.
We were secure in our marriage. It's not like she was going to leave me for Ryan of all people. Yes, it was sex, but again we were mature enough that we should be able to look at it as simply that. The end result of her doing this would offer significant upside when compared to the very small timeframe where she would need to engage in something very out of the ordinary. She certainly didn't seem 'certain', but she told me that she felt like it was something she would be able to do and then compartmentalize.
I wasn't entirely sure that 'I' would be able to.
She'd let out enough rope for me to be standing here on the balcony with Ryan, exploring it further.
However it was very much a question of whether I wanted to take that rope.... and then pass it to him.
- -
The first evening felt like we were both experiencing elements of PTSD. It was a day later and Ryan and I had again hastily conferred on the balcony one last time. Amber had raised a few questions that she wanted answered and I relayed them to him one by one. They were mostly common sense queries and related to the guarantee of not just my retained employment, but also the promotion and raise in title that he had mentioned during that first discussion several days prior.
She had also asked me make it clear to him that it was:
- Only the one time.
- That NOBODY would ever find out about it.
- And that she wouldn't have to do anything 'weird'.
Ryan had smiled at that one. "Nothing weird" he confirmed. "Maybe it would be better if her and I had a quick conversation beforehand just to put her at ease?" Later that night I recited his responses and assurances to Amber. Frankly I was a bit surprised when she agreed that it might be best if the two of them had a discussion first.
Ryan had a series of meetings with the board later the following week and he made it clear that if this was something that was going to happen we had a window of several days to figure it out. It was Thursday night which left the weekend, and with kids' activities and appointments it seemed difficult to imagine how we would arrange a surreptitious 'date' without raising questions. It was finally settled that Ryan and I would schedule an 'offsite' meeting for Monday afternoon... so that he could fuck my wife.
- -
Once Amber and I had accepted Ryan's terms and managed to get over the initial shock of what we had just agreed to, the reality of logistics came into play. I'll admit that Friday night was somewhat difficult for both of us. I had never imagined having to address topics such as these. We put our two kids in front of a movie downstairs before bed so that Amber and I could have some time to talk. Retiring to our backyard with a bottle of wine I found the silence of the cool evening almost taunting. I triggered some music on the outside speakers in order to ease the environment and turned on the fire table that we sat around.
"Where is this going to happen?" she finally asked pragmatically. It was the first of a number of questions that I didn't immediately have answers to and I put it back to her. I suggested that we could book a hotel room downtown? That prompted another question. One that seemingly neither of us had yet to consider in the mental chaos of agreeing to this.
"So, uhm, are you going to be there?" she asked, seemingly considering that (as well as it's implications), for the first time. Likewise, I had yet to process how this would all play out and what my involvement would be (if any).
The tone of the conversation twisted in the dancing light of the fire. For the first time both of us were actually thinking about how this was actually going to happen from a 'sexual' standpoint.
"He was clear that this isn't a 'threesome', right?" Amber clarified. "Like, it's just going to be me and him? Not you as well?"
While Ryan hadn't specifically spelt that out I felt certain that his intention was to bed my wife entirely on his own and agreed that it was surely intended as just the two of them coupling.
"Does that make you feel unsafe?" I asked, suddenly tuning in to the fact that she might have concerns in that area. She assured me that she didn't feel that way and confirmed that Ryan had always been a gentleman around her. But that the whole situation was just so strange that she might feel uncomfortable if she was upstairs being fucked in a hotel room while I was downstairs waiting for her or something like that.
We considered the variety of other options and I made it clear that however it took place I would have a hard time handling her having sex with someone else in our own bedroom. We ruled that option out. After some discussion it was decided that we would suggest our house as the location, but we would utilize the master bedroom of the extra suite. While the suite wasn't quite finished being remodelled, it was close enough. The bedroom was done and furnished with brand new furniture. For Amber it was familiar, comfortable, and private... without being our own marital bedroom. We could figure out my involvement much easier from there. The conversation continued awkwardly through a couple of other logistical topics and ended with Amber again questioning the entire arrangement.
"Why me!?" she asked exasperatedly into the dark night sky. "I still have a hard time believing that he actually wants to do this!"
"I guess maybe we're actually a bit lucky though..." she finally mused.
- -
With Ryan and Amber's 'date' set for Monday afternoon, we worked our way through the weekend. Saturday brought a very busy day for both of us. Our youngest child was in a baseball tournament that lasted from the morning into the early evening. It certainly served as a welcome distraction, but also separated Amber and I from being able to discuss any thoughts we were having. Left with my own I spent the better part of the day obsessing over details we hadn't yet considered, visualizing the 'main event' actually taking place, and trying to figure out how I would feel in that moment and afterwards.
I left the final game in the seventh inning in order to get home early and get dinner started so that everyone could eat when they got home. Entering through the garage I momentarily halted my path towards our mudroom. Instead I made my way across the large garage in the opposite direction towards the remaining door on the far side which accessed the annex suite. Flicking the light on I noticed that our contractor, Fred, had made good progress on the kitchen tile surround. He had several large projects on the go for other clients and had agreed to give us a good rate for the annex if we were amenable to him working at our place only on the weekends when he was free.
I slowly padded down the newly carpeted hallway and peered into the large master bedroom. Amber had already fitted the king sized bed with brand new bedding. Two new sidetable lamps had been installed as well as a matching floor lamp in the far corner. A small love seat sat at the far end of the room. Reflexively I slowly crossed the room towards it and eased myself down.
As I stared at the bed in front of me quick clips began to flash brightly before my eyes. In all of them my wife was nude, being fucked, and gasping or moaning out. Alarmed, I quickly rose back up and made my way for the hallway. As I entered the garage and made my way towards the kitchen I was surprised to find my penis bulging outwards in my pants.
Amber and our kids arrived home soon thereafter to spaghetti cooking on the stove. Our son's team had won silver and while he was upset about not having won the final game his older sister encouraged him and complimented his and his team's performance. Amber breezed past me in the kitchen carrying groceries and I got a smell of her perfume. She was wearing a casual sundress and I suddenly found myself admiring her bare legs and the way that the top half of the dress clung tightly to her large breasts. I worked silently in the kitchen as I finished preparing dinner, but the more I imagined this taking place, the more I felt a feverish mix of both jealousy and arousal. All that I could do in the moment was imagine her naked and in passion. But in each of these images it conjured I was still aware that it was someone else inside of her. Not me.
That night the two of us lay in bed. She was reading a book and had admitted outright that she was doing so to distract herself from her thoughts about what had been set in motion. She was wearing a pair of panties and an oversized t-shirt from a Killers concert we'd attended several years prior. She was leaned over on her side and it had caused her panties to ride up, exposing acres of pale white cheek. I found myself lost in a confusing torrent of emotions, but one of them was definitely lust, and I let my palm roam teasingly across the exposed flesh of her bum before sliding my fingers up and into the area that her panties covered. Placing her book down she turned to me with a look that read surprise and confusion.
Turning her head to look down to where I was caressing her bum sensually she fixed me with an odd look.
"Really?" was all that she said before sliding my hand away and turning onto her back. I felt her hand snake down across my stomach searchingly until she reached my waistline. I bit my lip suddenly as her hand reached my penis, and discovered it hard.
"Really..." she again repeated. Tone slightly different this time.
"I just... can't... right now... I don't think" she offered back. She sounded emotionally exhausted and the fact that I was apparently hard and wanted to have sex served to tip her over the edge. "I know you're going through a lot too" she offered by way of an apology. "But there's just too much taking place 'up here' right now" she explained, tapping her temple with one hand before giving my penis a reassuring squeeze with the other.
Sunday morning came and Amber was already up and out of the house by the time I eventually rose out of bed from another fitful sleep. My brain was consumed with thoughts and I was beginning to feel delirious. I almost 'wanted' it to just hurry up and happen so that I could perhaps get a proper night's sleep.
I checked my messages and saw that she had left earlier to go for a run. I was downstairs making breakfast for the kids when she eventually returned. She passed on bacon & eggs and indicated that she was going to go take a shower. My son had a school art project that he needed to work on that required q-tips to make a 'fence' around a house. Entering our ensuite bathroom steam billowed out as Amber greeted me from behind the glass door. I retrieved what I was looking for and gave her a quick smile and wave through the steamy glass which she reciprocated with. I couldn't help but notice that her small electric shaver as well as her razor and foaming gel sat out conspicuously on the ledge.
Amber had a few errands to run that afternoon and when she returned I helped her carry her bags in from the car. She'd been to the mall as well as picked up groceries. I raised my eyebrow at her curiously as I retrieved a Victorias Secret bag from the trunk of her car. She gave me an eye roll and eased past me, clearly not wanting to talk about it.
- -
I suspected that Amber had selected 5pm as the time for her 'call' with Ryan largely because she knew it was around the time we usually cooked dinner, and it was my night.
"Back in a sec" she'd explained, giving me a kiss and indicating towards the back deck as she held up her phone in explanation. The kids were both around the house and she chose to go outside for some privacy. I watched through the kitchen window and hung on every mouthed word, gesture, and body motion as I watched Amber talk to my boss Ryan... about his plan to fuck her.
I couldn't hear what she was saying of course, but she was my wife and partner of years. I could read her simply by watching. The conversation had started off genially but I could tell she had moved it towards questions that were designed to reassure her. As they spoke I could see her warm up. She chuckled and even laughed out loud a couple of times. She slowly paced a small circle around the deck, the phone up to her ear. I could tell there were a few times that she stopped and pondered before answering a question. They spoke for close to ten minutes, and not knowing what they were talking about will have to go down as one of the most frustrating periods of my entire life.
Our kids had arrived in the kitchen by the time she came back in and I raised my eyebrows in silent question.
"It'll be fine" she reassured quietly with a smile. "He and I are on the same page".
I could only fathom what that meant, but it did serve to amplify the 'jealous' side of my emotions.
That night we prepared for bed. Amber seemed far less tense than the previous few nights. I was clearly the opposite, and her apparent ease was seemingly causing me to become even more vexed. Finally turning to me she placed her hand on my arm.
"Honey, tomorrow is obviously a big day for us. I've been working to calm myself down. Is there anything I can do to help you?"
I had looked inside of the Victorias Secret bag when she was downstairs. It contained a matching bra and panty set. I'd lifted them out of the bag and examined them. They were cute and sexy, but certainly not overt. Having committed every inch of her body to memory I recognized that they would ride fairly high up her ass and display a reasonable amount of cleavage, but certainly nothing that would be considered risqué or pornographic.
I admitted to my wife that I was feeling pulled by a lot of emotions at the moment, but primarily a cocktail of jealousy and confusing arousal. The fact that she'd clearly spent most of the day 'preparing' for Ryan had served to absolutely do my head in. I admitted to looking at the lingerie, to wondering about why she had chosen today to go for a 5 mile run, that I had noticed her razor, and that watching her laughing on the phone with him had made me dizzy. It had been plenty clear that we had arrived at this juncture reluctantly. That we were going to do something that was very out of character for our marriage in name of the greater good. Something to help us and our family along. It was just driving me a bit crazy that she appeared to be 'getting ready' as if she was about to go on a date!
Amber listened to my outburst without interrupting. She nodded at times and kept her hand on my arm understandingly. When I had finally run out of words she paused for a beat before looking me in the eyes.
"Done?" she asked simply.
She spoke calmly and didn't raise her voice. There was a measured tone to it that actually made her seem more frightening! She used blunt language that we both generally avoided.
"I can appreciate that this is a lot for you" she started, "however whether you choose to believe it or not, it's different for a woman" she explained as if to a child.
"It just is"
"I have to take off my clothes and show my body to another man, completely naked. And then have sex in a believable enough fashion that allows him to sufficiently enjoy himself so that we don't have to sell this house!" she pointed out, frustrated. "I'm not 21. I'm 41! I'm barely comfortable in a swimsuit in front of other people.... never mind nude. And our hopes and dreams as a family are resting upon me getting a relative stranger horny and hard. I'm sorry that you're feeling weird about this, but I'm the one who has to take someone else's dick inside of me!"
I sat and listened to her deserving lecture.
"In order for me to do this I need to at least attempt to believe that I'm attractive enough for other men, aside from my husband, to want to fuck me. This is not some college girl hooking up with a guy after the bar" she continued. "I realize that we don't put any belief in the ideology of the church, but nevertheless I am still having to break our marital vows in order to do this"
"Women at all ages are concerned about their image and presentation. Not just for their husbands... for the world. Men don't understand that. If someone is going to be seeing my vagina, whether they're putting their dick into it or not, I'm going to make sure that it's shaved!" And I do not want to wear something to bed with Ryan that you bought for me, or that I've worn with you before. I purchased something appropriate for the occasion and I plan on throwing it out when I'm done"
I listened miserably as my wife continued to land point after point.
"The act of having sex with someone else is more emotional to a woman than a man. I am not going into this in order to enjoy it, I'm there to let Ryan fuck me and then it will be done. However, for us to save your job, his cock needs to go inside of me. And for me to even emotionally consider that happening, I need to feel safe and comfortable with him as a person. I'm sorry that it freaked you out to not be able to hear the conversation... however I feel better after talking to him. We discussed what he wants to do with me, and what I like in bed... and it's made me feel like there's a possibility that I might actually be able to pull this off... for us."
Finally finished, she accepted my proffered apology. Appropriately chastened I let her get to sleep.
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