Not Sure What to Call This Yet

This isn't XXX rated (yet) so if that's what you're looking for, don't bother. It's my first submission and probably all out of order, so please be kind ????. Someday the characters might have names, I just can't bring myself to do it quite yet.

Chapter 1: The Croatian

The first time she cheated, her body was shaking so badly she couldn't speak. He had pulled up next to her in his Tesla, they made brief eye contact, and she had allowed just one corner of her lip to curl up, a crooked half-smile that didn't come close to reaching her eyes. He took the signal as confirmation of who she was, slipped into the passenger seat of her black SUV, and kissed her softly. He said he could tell she was nervous, but that everything would be ok. That she looked prettier than her pictures. That she could just relax and he would take the lead.

So he led her into the stairwell of a hotel, putting his hand on her back to guide her up the stairs in front of him, presumably so he could watch her ass ascend the stairs through her black leggings. When they reached the top floor, he spun her around and kissed her again. This time the gentleness was gone and it felt like he was starving - like he would devour her right then and there if he could. It felt good to be wanted like that, she thought, even though she knew there were thousands (maybe millions?) of female bodies who could have replaced hers and he wouldn't have noticed or cared.

They didn't speak, nor did he waste any time getting what he had come for. He turned her around to face the wall and she gripped the metal fire ladder, her face pressed against the rungs. He pulled her hips back towards him and slid his hands down her thighs, pushing her leggings and panties out of the way as he went. He paused for a moment to regard the soft, white skin of her exposed ass, slapped her hard, then watched as a bright red handprint appeared. With a growl, he bent her over further and fucked her. The only words exchanged between them were when he asked if he could cum inside her and she shook her head almost imperceptibly and whispered, no, please don't.

And so his cum spilled out onto the industrial carpet. She pulled her leggings back up as she turned around to watch. He kissed her again briefly, took her hand, and led her back down the stairs and out the door where they both got into their cars and returned to their spouses, their children, and their mundane lives. It felt like a fever dream, one from which you wake up in panic only to realize you're still in bed, covered in sweat, but at least you didn't really do that. Did you?

Chapter 2: The Liar

Is this chapter unnecessary?

Chapter 3: Crossing a Line

They probably both knew what a terrible mistake they were making by meeting the way they did. In fact, as soon as they realized how much overlap their lives had, he had told her that they needed to be "responsible citizens" and not continue to pursue anything untoward. They could be friends (maybe), but nothing more. And yet despite their better judgment and for reasons not entirely known to them (Were they both hurting? Were they selfish people? Were they both just really horny?), they eventually crossed a thick, blood red line with each other, one that then splintered and frayed and reopened ugly scars that they had both forgotten, or perhaps never knew existed.

On the surface, they had wildly different lives. They were both in complicated marriages, sure, but beyond that, there was no logical reason they should have carried on as they did. While she had teenagers, he had a toddler. Her career was highly compensated and wholly unsatisfying, while his made people's lives better but was tragically underpaid. She was a dog person; he had a cat and didn't particularly like dogs. He was creative and wrote fantasy stories about vampires and werewolves; she liked math and logic and had a hard enough time making sense of regular people.

Most significantly, he was in love with someone who lived half-way around the world but couldn't be with her. She wasn't sure she'd ever been in love, or if she even knew what that meant.

They met for coffee anyways (she promptly spilled hers all over the table, betraying her nerves yet again) and they made small talk for a bit, their faces far too close for two people who had just met. They were cautious with each other since they were in public, but he stroked her knee gently. She tried to hold her gaze on his eyes, but couldn't help occasionally glancing down at the crotch of his pants, hoping to see some indication that he found her attractive.

They went for a walk after, alternating between maintaining a friendly distant when approaching others and holding each other closely when prying eyes were out of sight. They talked about their jobs, their families, politics, and pornography. And when they came to a bridge that crossed a small stream, he guided her toward the wooden railing and kissed her. For her, their litany of differences melted away in that moment because their mouths, their lips, fit together perfectly. His hands around her waist and pawing at her breasts, her hands touching his beard and his chest - those fit perfectly too. And when he pressed his hips into hers, pinning her back against the wooden slats of the rickety bridge, she could feel how hard he was through their clothes and couldn't help but think, "that would fit perfectly as well."

Chapter 4: Selfish

Her husband found out what she had been doing on a Sunday. She had swiped away a messaging app on her phone a little too quickly when he had appeared suddenly over her shoulder, and he immediately knew something was up.

The conversation started that day, but the full story came out in fits and spurts over the course of months. Each detail that was revealed sent him reeling into anger and depression from which he would rebound temporarily, clinging to the hope that a return to "normal" was only a matter of time, only to be plunged back into darkness at the discovery of something new.

She wished he could crawl into her brain and see her thoughts and feel her feelings because she found it impossible to put them into words. How could she? She had worn so many masks in her life, played so many characters, that she didn't know how to be honest with herself. How could she possibly be honest with him?

All she knew was that she was unhappy and had been for a long time. Not that it was his fault, he was actually wonderful to her. He adored her - he bragged to his friends about how smart and strong she was, how he had never trusted anyone the way he trusted her. When she was getting her MBA and building her career, he started working nights so he could stay home with their young kids during the day and let her focus on studying and work. He cooked, cleaned, and chauffeured the kids around so she could work late prepping for board meetings or investor calls.

And yet her depression worsened with every passing year. She took prescriptions, met with therapists, distracted herself with shopping and vacations and work. Most of all though, she drank.

Chapter 5: Eternity

Throughout her life, she had periods of time in which crippling anxiety left her unable to sleep. Her thoughts never turned off and they terrified her. In college, she feared being kicked out of school and STDs. As a child, she never feared death (at least not her own), but rather the concept of eternity. Every Sunday at mass, her local priest would lecture their parish on what they needed to do in their lives in order to enjoy paradise with the Lord for all of eternity. At night, she would lie in bed, eyes wide and wet with tears, unable to grasp the concept of forever, wondering how that could be called heaven and not hell?

When she was in her 20s, her mom's side of the family sometimes vacationed at her aunt and uncle's house in Door County, Wisconsin over the summers. The house was massive, with nine bedrooms, a hot tub, and acres of land to explore. Nearly every night, the whole family gathered around the fire pit for a bonfire where the adults drank craft beer and the kids made s'mores and chased fireflies. One night, which was not so different from any other, the adults stayed up late talking about her uncle - an alcoholic who had lost his job as a teacher, divorced his wife, rarely saw his daughter, and was currently living on the streets in California doing god knows what to pay for his booze habit. Her dad had made it clear that there was one thing and one thing only that would get his life back on track - he needed to find capital-G God. He had turned his back on the Lord years ago, and that - not a history of depression and anxiety - was causing all his woes.

The next morning, she was woken up by a phone call from her aunt. Her uncle was dead. A stranger had found him hanging from a tree in a public park. Imagine, the believers must have thought, if only he had been at the bonfire last night, he would have known how easy it would have been to turn his life around.

Chapter 6: Evil and Sin

When her husband told her family that she was drinking again and was cheating on him, she shouldn't have been surprised at her dad's reaction. And yet when she read the text message he sent early the next morning, she felt numb. He had always been harsh, certainly, but he loved her, right? He understood that she was hurting and wanted her to get better, didn't he?

"Well, maybe it's time you grow up. It's my fault that you're a 45 year old hedonistic, irresponsible alcoholic. You were never clever or funny or smart when you were drunk. Just stupid and pathetic. If you're going to ruin your life then so be it. But leave your family out of your selfish, drunken, pathetic nightmare. As a parent I tried to save you a pregnancy with David, or early death or injury from your party girl friends. You have a gift of intellect, but you are a selfish, spoiled, narcissistic brat. Raising your children with a moral compass is good. Is it bad for your kids to get pregnant and go down that road? Do you think an abortion is just another process to undo a wrong? Or raise a child by an immature child? Choices affect you and your family forever. The fine family you have you will throw them away. What a fool. For some slutty sex with a dirt bag like you. Crawl in the bottle and everything and everyone that cares for you will be gone. Choices. Be the hedonistic base line pig of your dreams, it's your life. All the fools I've known who ruined their lives - your uncle, Gerry, Betty, your cousin, your brother. Add your name, fool. I love you but I can watch you self destruct. I will fight you to never have custody. Satan has taken control of your soul. Enjoy your vanity and god, alcohol. A parent is a person who tries to steer a child from a wayward path of destruction. I failed you and I'm sorry. You have chosen evil and sin."

Chapter 7: Burns and Frost Bite