My First Time

Recently decided to explore other facets of my sexuality by trying a same sex experience: this was something I had thought of for the longest time, a thought perhaps entertained as a fantasy, as something that was considered in moments of erotic arousal, but never seriously contemplated in a less heated moment.

So I started frequenting same sex sites, prowling and lurking like a furtive hunter, somewhat ashamed of my interest in these things.

I believe I am not homosexual, I don't feel attracted to my own sex, except inasmuch as I seem to have a craving for the acts themselves, but not of any closeness or physical intimacy; in fact I am a bit revolted at the thought of holding hands or kissing, indeed at anything that could be interpreted as romantic interest.

So what is it that I am seeking? Just the sensations, pure and simply put: I want to give oral sex and feel what the opposite gender feels when they are with me, I want to experience the raw emotion of doing something perhaps improper or audacious, to experiment, yes, even at this part of life, to feel as if we've not lost the adventurousness of youth and the missed opportunities therein, to feel youthful and exciting, carefree to try something new, to break the taboo.

And I did, after much advertising and texting that went on for months on end, finding and discarding promising candidates that would be willing to share a first experience, and one or two that I had decided on and then got cold feet and left in the lurch, I decided to meet someone who through business travels comes to my city, and was also in search of an experience. I have to say that we had exchanged plenty of photos and I was more than excited to try my fantasies and desires with someone compatible and understanding of what I was seeking.

After all this time I finally decided to meet only to be met with disappointment at the last minute, as it turned out the business trip was cut short and family obligations got in the way.

A couple of weeks passed before our paths met again, but now my uncertainty resurfaced and I placed roadblocks in the way of our meet; a day was spent on texts and enticing photo exchanges, until at the last minute of the last night of the visit I gave in and drove to the hotel where we were to meet for what was to be a quick taste, to see if I would even be able to go through with it, or would I retreat at the last minute, once faced with the immediacy of what I had sought for so many years?

The elevator I took to the last floor seemed to resonate with the beating of my speeding heart, and I felt thankful that I was alone, and no one there to see my flushed checks nor hear my breathing, fast and shallow with anticipation. I arrived at the floor and sought the room, conveniently the last one on the corridor, I faced the door for a moment, trembling with pent desire and anticipation, and made up my mind.

I knocked quietly and waited longer than expected, thinking maybe not tonight, when the door slowly opened into a dark room and a pale hand from the darkness within motioned me inside. As I entered, whispered words asked me what I wanted: Sit down on the couch and drop your clothes I said, to my surprise without hesitation or second thought, then I dropped to my knees and buried my head on the crotch offered amidst parted legs.

Filled with reckless excitement I took the offering and kissed it gently, even then not sure what to expect and if I would even see this through to the end. I caressed it with my tongue and felt it begin to tense, to grow firmer upon my tender and soft kisses, my mouth watering in anticipation, opened as if by its own accord and I took the penis into me, I sucked and bit, stroked it with my tongue, surprised that my jaw could open to accommodate the size, but it did, and as I got used to it inside my mouth I tried to bring it as deep into me as possible, I gagged a bit, and brought forth lubricating saliva from deep within my throat, this multiplied the pleasure I was offering, and soft moans rewarded my efforts.

I ran my lips and tongue up and down the shaft, cupped the head between my parted lips and softly sucked, then all the way in again and again, in and out between firm lips and light suction, trying over and over to bring it deeper and deeper inside of me. I ran my tongue through the glans trying to feel for its little opening and then back down to the base. My lips, my tongue, my mouth and hands, all enjoying the moment, and me, with bated breath and beating heart wondering if I would feel the impending explosion, the finality of ecstasies, the joy of the end, continued pleasuring the both of us with my mouth, my hands circling the base, and feeling the underside swell and get tight like a hose about to burst.

I retreated and continued to strongly massage it against the belly, full up and down in all its length, my hands wet with slippery saliva and warm precum until the inevitable came in a raucous mix of moans and hot ejaculate, I continued to softly massage and press upwards with mi thumbs, wanting to get the last drop out of it, feeling it still strong and tumescent, with a lasting post orgasmic erection and finding myself unwilling to let go of its warmth and firmness.

All this time I had been on my knees, feeling submissive and enjoying a role unaccustomed to in my life and wondering why I had not given myself to experience this sooner in my life.

Still holding it as it grew softer between my hands, sticky with shared excitement, I gave it a last kiss on the head, looked after my hygiene and left as quietly as I had entered.

My emotions ran a gamut as I headed home, but it was late, and I did not want to overthink what I had done, for once content to just enjoy the moment and its afterglow.