General Chemistry II Ch. 03

List of Characters

Jack: Our point of view. Smart, corny, neurotic, Jack has few friends at school outside of his study group. White. Lifeguards in the summer and has a big dick.

Pri: Jack's ex(?). Brilliant and reserved, she plays varsity soccer with her best friend Liv. Indian-American. Short and athletic with ass for days, darkly tanned with thick black hair.

Liv: Pri's best friend and Jack's study buddy. Funny and dynamic, she plays varsity soccer and does what she feels. Jewish. Tall with a heart-shaped face. She has a deep tan, small breasts, and sprinter's legs.

Marco: Liv's boyfriend and long-time friend. Charming and almost offensively handsome, he teaches tennis and studies literature. Colombian-American. He's fashionable, with a lean, muscular body.

Sylvie: Liv's long-time frenemy and Marco's ex. Grim and sarcastic, she's pre-law at NYU. Pale, Jewish, and tiny, with a cute face and a bull ring septum piercing.

Kay: Sylvie's friend from NYU. Laconic and up for anything, they study film and play volleyball. White and non-binary, they're over six foot and covered with tattoos. Bleached pixie cut and dark eyelids.

Grace: Liv's friend from college. Perky and energetic, she's All-State softball and loves to party. Chinese-American. She's muscular but feminine, with thick legs, big breasts, and fun tattoos.

~

It'd been hotter than hell the day Pri arrived and today was even worse. After our last delve into the inferno, a beach trip that ended after two sweaty, miserable hours, no one even dared to suggest we leave the villa. We were under a kind of meteorological house arrest.

It was a damn fine place to be imprisoned at least.

Over the course of the morning, like atoms slowly bonding in the flask, the seven of us joined together by the pool. We did our best to enjoy it. Reading, swimming, painting toenails, the rare and courageous sunbather.

By early afternoon we'd grown tired of splashing around in the tea-warm water and pretending that it wasn't super fucking hot. We sat on loungers and cushioned chairs and clustered under umbrellas, sipping drinks from condensation-coated glasses, making conversation. Even in the shade, the slightest breeze caused everyone to moan in relief.

I spent most of the time in one spot, keeping my half-erection covered with a towel or a book. After an involuntarily celibate summer, I'd finally gotten to fuck again, and I'd expected my libido to be curbed at least a little. Maybe it would have been if the people around me weren't so ridiculously attractive.

Grace had switched from her conservative bathing suit to a more typical two-piece, showing off her large, creamy breasts and fat butt.

Despite not being at the beach or even attempting to catch a tan, Liv hadn't bothered with a suit top. She chatted on and on as if her high titties weren't in everyone's face.

The worst, in some ways, was Pri. Her one-piece may have been more restrained but it didn't matter. Her muscular ass, thick legs, and athletic stomach could not be hidden by anything. She was so fucking stacked that you could have dressed her in a garbage bag and I'd have requested permission to jerk off on it.

She at least had the decency to look tired. She'd spent most of yesterday traveling to Spain and the remainder fighting with me. Through tears she'd finally told me the truth: she'd pushed me away this summer on purpose. Her parents were already arranging matches, good Indian boys that would make good Indian husbands. There was no room in that reality for a white boyfriend. She figured that slowly fading from our relationship was less terrifying than the alternative.

For all the heartache she'd put me through, I believed her when she said she didn't want some dork-ass engineering student from Duke. It made much more sense to prefer a dork-ass bio major from State like me. We just didn't know where to go from there. We'd had sex, groping, physical, emotional sex, but resolved nothing. Our "break" continued into an uncertain future.

Tired or not, Pri managed to fit into the group better than I had with my two day head start. She caught up with each person with genuine, sustained interest. Liv was happy. Maybe it was just my obsession with the two of them but I thought that she had missed her best friend dearly. Whenever Pri laughed at one of her jokes or hit her with a sassy look, Liv almost glowed.

Grace ping-ponged between conversations, seemingly listening to everyone at once and jumping in with whatever spare thought she had, while Sylvie barely participated at all. The small, severe girl was in a typically dark mood, and she hadn't even bothered with a swimsuit. She reclined lazily in a striped pantsuit and read her phone from behind huge sunglasses.

Surprising us both, I ended up in a thoroughly engaging conversation with Kay about stop-motion animation, a subject about which they knew a hell of a lot, able to put names to all my hazy memories of golden-age sci-fi and fantasy movies. I could tell Kay was still wearing the chest binder under their t-shirt but it already felt normal to me. Their bright pink chubbies showed off their incredibly long legs. Their arm sleeve, black-and-white ink in gradient, kept catching my eye as they leaned forward in their chair, waving their hands to describe something called "dynamation."

Sylvie kept tabs on us out of the corner of her eye, at least a little bit pleased that her roommate had found another nerd to talk with. Kay was studying film at NYU and, though usually reserved to the point of sleepwalking, they were passionate about the topic. I fucked up only once, referring to the non-binary Kay as "she."

"Not a girl," said Sylvie and Kay at the same time. Kay shrugged it away and we carried on.

Sometimes I was pulled three different ways. Other times I was ignored, adrift between one liners and anecdotes. Whenever the conversation truly lulled, I stared off at the glittering ocean, watching sailboats slide across the water, leaving white vees in their wake.

"I'm officially dead," said Liv. "Deceased. Killed. Cooked. Can we go inside? Maybe watch something?"

"Actually," said Sylvie. "I saw Sense and Sensibility on the recommended tab."

"Maybe something less aggressively Caucasian?" said Grace, giving Pri a knowing look.

"But I like that movie..." she replied. "And you already watched P and P without me."

"P and P?" asked Marco before it clicked. "Oh right, the Jane Austen cinematic universe."

"I have a bee-rilliant idea," said Liv. "Why don't we start drinking?"

"Ooo, yeah!" Grace punched the air. "Pri's finally here. Let's celebrate!"

"We're already celebrating. It's someone's birthday, remember?"

"Okay, we can celebrate more than one thing. We've been here three days and I haven't even gotten drunk yet!"

I raised a finger. "Except when we drank wine on the patio and listened to Liv and Marco doin' it."

Liv inclined her head and gave me a serious sort of look. "It's like that, huh? Is that really how you want to play this?"

"No. I guess not. I'm sorry."

"Smart boy."

"Let's go then," said Marco, standing suddenly. "There's a liquor cabinet behind that big-ass ficus and we oughta find out what's inside."

Liv wiped at the tanned skin between her breasts. "Uh, I'm kinda yuck. Why don't we clean up and meet back downstairs in like thirty?" She reached out to Marco for a hand, then yanked him onto the chair and raced for the door. "First!"

~

Within the hour we'd reunited in the great room, the only place that could really fit us all outside of the home theater. Without planning it we'd all dressed up a little, and the group looked like we were getting ready to pregame before heading to a house party.

It was already late afternoon and the great room's impossibly large window glowed like a cinema screen. The ocean stretched on in high definition, twinkling blue. We still didn't have any beer, so we'd split into two camps: one drinking rosé from deep wine glasses, the other with mint juleps whipped up by Marco.

"Hello!" said Liv. She wore a smart blue top, with jeggings wrapped tightly to her long, beautiful legs. She uncrossed them and sat up, holding her glass high. The rosé swirled. "Hello, thanks! I wanted to thank everyone for coming on my birthday trip!"

"Speech! Speech!" I chanted before Pri slapped me on the arm.

"Well, I don't have a speech," she said. "But I wouldn't mind being toasted."

"I'm about to get toasted," said Kay. Laughing, everyone raised their cups and sipped.

"I meant, like, compliment me and stuff."

"No shit," said Marco. He threw on the charming Southern lawyer for a second. "You're the finest birthday girl there ever was, I do declare."

His shirt, patterned with lions, zebras, and other safari-type animals, was already half undone, giving a glimpse of his brown, well-developed chest.

"I can't even hear your condescension because it's true." Liv touched her chin with the back of her hand, batting her lashes and posing like a debutante.

"To Liv," I said. "Smart and pretty and occasionally very scary, we wouldn't be here without you."

The group drank deep.

"Let's play something."

"Oh, oh, I know!" said Grace. She'd squeezed herself into a low-cut sundress that exposed her muscular shoulders. Her big breasts were practically poured into the bust. I did my best not to stare as they wobbled back and forth in her excitement. "What about Paranoia!"

"I like Paranoia!" said Liv.

Sylvie tried to seem interested. "And that is?"

"You don't know Paranoia?" Grace was wearing contacts instead of her chunky glasses and her eyes went wide like she couldn't believe it. "What do you play at NYU?"

"We just drink."

"We get it, you're so cool," said Marco. Sylvie gave her ex the finger but he just smiled. "I don't think they have Paranoia in yankee-land. It's mostly beer pong, flip cup..."

"Kings," said Kay. "You play Kings?"

"Yeah, for sure," I said. I wasn't an amazing drinker but abstaining wasn't much of an option if you wanted to actually meet people. "Flip cup too, but that's for beer, not what we have."

"I played flip cup with wine once," said Pri. I looked at her, the sweet little drink-sipper, with some shock. "Emphasis on once. Y'ever throw up so much wine that you think it's blood and you're positive you're dying?"

"Yes to the second part," said Sylvie.

"Okay, I'll explain it," said Grace. "We sit in a circle--"

"Done," I said. The couches, already arranged in a U, had done that part for us. "Wow, I'm great at this."

"Mm, you're funny," said Grace in a way that said I wasn't. "Anyway, we sit in a circle--but we need to move around a little. Split the couples up to start. Um, the couple, I mean." Pri and I had sat next to each other without thinking. "Uh, just try to sit between people you don't know that well. Don't think too hard about it..."

Liv looked confused. "But I know everyone?"

"I said don't think too hard," laughed Grace. "Just stay there. No, Marco honey, sit next to me..."

Like musical chairs, we cycled around the room until the order was just right. Pri switched to the opposite couch to sit next to, of all people, Liv. So much for splitting the couples up; the two were basically in love with each other. I ended up with Sylvie on the cushion to my left and Grace on the couch to my right.

"So, like this: I'll whisper a question to the next person over, like 'Who is the biggest slut?' or 'Who still sleeps with stuffed animals?' and--"

"They don't have to be rude," said Pri. "They can be anything, like 'Who is most likely to help a stranger?'"

"But they're so much better if they're a little mean, or a little sexy. Here, I can start." Grace curled her finger in a come-hither motion and leaned in. Her breath tickled my ear. "Who has definitely had an STD?" she whispered.

"Oh, I'm not doing that one."

"What she'd say?" asked Liv. I just shook my head.

"Okay, fine," said Grace. "I'll do something else. You can refuse one time. Only one! Let me think..."

"What'd she say though?" said Liv again.

"You know the rules," I said. "Drink and I'll tell you." She made a grotesque face.

Grace motioned towards me again. "Who is most likely to fuck in public?"

I thought for half a second and pointed to at Sylvie.

"What does that mean?" she said. "Do I drink or something?"

"This is the paranoia part. If you want to know what I asked, you need to drink. If you don't care then you can just pass."

Sylvie looked around blithely.

"Bitch, just drink," said Kay.

"Fine," she said, taking a sip. She winced and smacked her lips. "Jesus, Marco, did you forget the mint and the julep? This is just whiskey." As though preferring pain to the taste, she bit her tongue for a moment. "What was the question then?"

"She asked me who was most likely to have sex in public..."

"And you picked me?" She actually looked insulted. "What the fuck?"

"Syl," said Kay tiredly, picking at their own sleeve. "You told everyone you did it with Marco in Central Park."

"Oh. Yeah. But that was years ago. I don't do that any more."

Liv's eyes went wide and she made a goofy smile, as if to say Silly kids! If she was at all threatened by hearing about her boyfriend's previous escapades, she didn't show it.

Grace made a get-on-with-it motion. "You get it now, right? You were the target, so you get to go next."

Sylvie stared up at the ceiling for a moment, absently tapping on her knee. She'd gone for the full costume change, switching from her pantsuit into black leggings and a sleeveless red blouse. Her socks were so perfectly white that they looked like they'd just come out of the package.

"Okay, okay." She looked at me, rolled her eyes, and turned to Liv instead.

Liv's lips curled into a smile when she heard the question and pointed across the coffee table at Marco. He cocked his head and drank.

"Who is most likely to send nudes?" repeated Liv. Marco groaned and everyone else laughed. We all knew that he'd mailed naked polaroids of himself to Sylvie back when they were dating.

We ended up pretty engaged with the game.

Who'd be able to chop up a dead body?

Marco pointed at Liv. "What can I say? I believe in you."

Who believes in astrology?

Sylvie pointed at an indignant Pri. "I dunno, she has a kind of crystals-in-my-water-bottle vibe."

Who eats the most junk food?

I pointed at Grace. "Just a guess," I said.

"Fig Newtons are my addiction," she admitted.

Before long we needed to refill our drinks. The back of my neck was hot and I held my glass in both hands, hoping to melt the ice a little. The finger-pointing went on and on around the circle. No one even joked about refusing, happy instead to drink and find out the dirt that was said about them.

Even the taciturn Kay had started to turn up. When Marco whispered in their ear, they slapped their knee, red-faced, and waved their finger at Sylvie. Wearing a flowery pink button-up tucked into black trousers, Kay's outfit was a hip, David Bowie-esque look that accentuated their wide shoulders and narrow waist.

"I asked who was the most stuck up," said Marco. He put on an apologetic face but he was also a little too pleased with the answer.

"Ok, fine," said Sylvie with an evil glint. She whispered her question to Liv who snorted and quickly pointed at Kay.

"Who wallows and listens to sad music after a breakup?"

"She was a musician!" said Kay. Their face had flushed, and they looked around with an almost desperate look. "She made me a fucking mixtape! I'm supposed to throw it out?"

"Who dumped who?" I asked.

"Her me."

"Oh, you definitely don't need to listen to that shit. That's just cruel."

The next question was Kay's for Marco. He licked his teeth in thought, and after a moment he pointed at me.

Kay looked very interested. "I asked who would start an OnlyFans."

"Explain," said Pri. She'd already undone a few buttons on her shirt and rolled up her sleeves, exposing a wonderful amount of smooth, brown skin. She waved Marco on. "Or it is because of...? No, explain."

"Because of what?" asked Sylvie, but Marco talked over her.

"I dunno. Scholarships don't cover everything. He's got a good face. Got a gay-for-pay kinda look--"

"That's good, right?" I asked. "Or is that bad?"

"It's good," said Sylvie. "Marco, you think he would or you want him to?"

"He's cute," he said. "I told him. I'm not shy."

Kay nodded sagely. "The world needs more soft bi boy action."

"I'm not bi," I said, though I was determined not to object too much. "Flattered of course though. Thank you, my significant brother."

He smiled and tipped his glass at me.

"Okay, I've got one ready," I said. I leaned conspiratorially towards Grace, exerting a huge amount of self-control not to look down at her tits. "Who has the highest body count?"

"Ahhh," she said, like it was one of life's great mysteries. Looking around the room, she chewed on the thought. Eventually she pointed at Liv, who smiled and drank deeply from her rosé. Grace sighed, already apologetic, and said, "Body count."

"Why do people think that?" asked Liv with some sincerity. "Do I seem like a slut? I'm, like, boyfriended up."

"Noo," said Grace. Her already rosy cheeks had gone bright red, from embarrassment and alcohol both. "You just seem so confident. I really meant it as a compliment."

"That's almost sweet. If you're talking about how many times, you'd be on to something, but I've only done it with like four guys. Johnny P, Ryan, Marco..." She trailed off and I suddenly realized she had caught herself before saying my name. I wasn't the only one to notice.

"That's only three."

"And it seemed like Marco wasn't last on the list..."

Liv tilted her head to the side. "So suspicious. Catty bitches, I was just embarrassed about the other one. It was some guy named Morrison."

"Jack's roommate?" asked Grace with a start. "The fucking accordion guy?"

Liv, glassy-eyed, made a seated bow, flourishing with her hands. "I love all my haters."

"Is he--Should I go out with him?" Grace looked at me. "He's single right?"

"Don't," I said. "Do not. Even if she's not lying, you can do better."

Marco slashed a cross over his chest. "Damn, rip Morrison."

"Keep going," said Pri. "Go, go. More questions."

Liv made a show of recoiling from Pri's energy. "Okay, you little animal. I got one for you." She leaned to Pri's ear, but she shrugged at the question.

"Pass. Please."

"No no no," said Grace. "We're in too deep to be passing."

"It's not good?" asked Liv.

"Not really. Ask another."

"Just pick somebody," said Grace. "It's not a big deal."

Bashfully, Pri pointed at Grace. "The last person to get dumped."

I clicked my tongue, wincing.

"Isn't that Jack, actually?" said Kay. "Not for nothing."

Liv cringed. "Oh... frick."

"Ha," said Pri, laughing flatly. "I guess it is Jack. Or maybe it's me?"

The mystery of our break slash breakup persisted. The room went quiet until Marco, angling his cup in an attempt to lick a mint leaf off the bottom, received a small avalanche of ice in the face. He calmly brushed it off his chest and looked around as though nothing had happened.

"Anyway..." said Sylvie.

"I mean, I did just get dumped," said Grace. She seemed a little defeated. "I'm not great at... dating. Or I'm not good at picking guys, I don't know."

Sylvie waved her finger in the air, swallowing a heavy mouthful of wine before finding the air to speak. "Why--excuse me--why is it always that the woman 'has bad taste in men' and never that 'disgusting men tend to be skilled liars and hide their red flags until it's too late?'"

"Oh, that's good," said Kay. "Real witchy."

Sylvie formed her hand into a claw and waved it at Kay, casting some spell. "Destructo patriarchus!" Kay went rigid for a moment as the magic took hold. "Anyway, Grace, tell, tell. How many guys have you dated this... past year, let's say. Or at school so far. You're gonna be a junior, right?"

"Yeah," said Grace meekly.

"So the past two years, how many guys?"

"Just dating or...?"

"Only guys you actually wanted to date, no one-night stands or below."

"Damn," mumbled Marco. "What's below a one-night stand...?"

"Uh, probably like..." Grace's eyes danced around, mentally counting. "Twelve?"

"Twelve!?" Sylvie slapped her hand to her forehead, caught herself, and quickly put it back in her lap.

"Gracey!" said Liv. "I had no idea." She patted the air at her friend. "Love you babe, you're gonna be fine. We're gonna CSI your shit. We're gonna deconstruct. Tell me: who was the last guy with some potential? Start there."

Grace sipped her cocktail, staring into space until she made a thoughtful mhm.

"There was a guy in Linguistics, David. Actually, Liv, you met him! Remember the tall guy with the beard? He walked me to the dining hall the day of the protest. He complimented your earrings."

"Oh yeah..." said Liv. "The full-on-denim guy?"

"Yep. Him. We hooked a few times, we went on some dates. Dina liked him--That's my roommate. One time she was away and he slept over and we went out to breakfast. Like, he was nice..."

"'Nice?'" I rolled my eyes. "What is nice? My grandma is nice. What did you like about him?"

"Well, he was tall--" For some reason I looked at Kay. They sipped their julep and shrugged, like It's good to be king. "--and he had a good face. Pretty smart, like he knew about politics and books. He could talk about anything, and he would really ask my opinion. When I say it like that it sounds bad but trust me, they don't always care."

"Clarifying point," said Sylvie. "What's the ratio of hookups to dates?"

"For David?" Sylvie nodded. "Uhm, probably like seven to three."

"Are you counting the breakfast? Breakfast is not a date."

Grace sucked on her lip, looking unsure. "Okay, seven to two."

"Booo," said Marco, while I blew a raspberry.

"That's not a killer," said Sylvie. "You know, not necessarily. What went wrong?"

"We kinda had a fight. He did something mean. I didn't even want to bring it up but Dina told me I had to, like if I wanted to keep things equal I should let him know what I don't like. So I texted him and he got really upset, like I was springing it on him. He said I was 'unreasonable.' No, he said that I was 'not being reasonable,' which is kinda different?"

"Thanks, baby," said Liv, accepting another pour of wine from Marco. "Well, don't keep us waiting. What'd he do?"

"Uh..."

"It's okay," said Pri. "Safe space. We're already anti-David."

Liv started snapping her fingers so hard she almost spilled. "Mhmm, all my homies hate David."

"Well, I went to his dorm to hookup. It's like Friday or Saturday night, I don't remember, and he comes down to the lobby to let me in and this girl stops to talk to us. He introduces me and says that we're going to study. Maybe I had a weird look because the girl is laughing, like 'You're about to hookup, aren't you?' and David is like 'No, it's not like that.'"

"Ew," said Marco. "Right in your face?"

"I know right! And I'm about to say something and she asks if they're still on for dinner tomorrow and he says yes! Like, he has a date with this girl!"

"Hell the fuck no," said Liv. "I'm slapping mister and spilling that tea immediately."

"Exactly. So that's why we had a fight."

Pri pursed her lips. "And then you left, right?"

Grace went quiet and took another sip of her cocktail.

"Oh no," said Sylvie softly.

"Honey, booboo," said Liv. "You didn't still fuck him, did you?"

"Well, yeah, but--"

It seemed like all six of us started drunkenly talking at once, our words tumbling in a wall of sound.

"No, no, no," I said, shaking my head.

"Fuck that," said Kay.

"Not great," said Sylvie.

"Wait, wait, everybody shut up," said Liv, batting at the air. "Please and thank you. Gracey, uh, what the fuck?"

"Well I've got needs, okay? I went across Martingale with my friggin' toothbrush. I'm not turning around." No one liked that. "And I talked to him about it. It's not like I let it go."

"And you dumped him?" I asked. "No, you said he dumped you."

"Don't say dumped," said Sylvie. "That implies together. I'm not seeing evidence of together."

"He said we should see other people," said Grace. More groans from the peanut gallery.

Liv leaned forward on her knees and put her wine on the glass table with a clink. After a second she adjusted the glass with a tipsy hand as though it had somehow been in the wrong spot.

"And why, may I ask, did you let this guy treat you like shit?"

Grace let her head drop and sighed. We leaned in, the suspense building. She was a gorgeous girl, energetic, and thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. She was a little bit spazzy, sure, but it seemed entirely out of character for her to be puppy-dogging this awful guy.

"Well," she said. "He had a big dick?"

The group fell silent, almost shocked, then Kay laughed, an unexpectedly musical noise like ha-hah!

Sylvie made a very unladylike jerk off motion. "That and a dollar will get you a hotdog..."

"From Costco maybe."

"Quantify big," said Marco.

Grace scrunched her eyebrows and put her hands out to demonstrate. "Pretty big. Like ten inches."

"Honey, you are gorgeous." Liv, seated eight feet away, reached out for Grace as though they'd join hands. "I know you've got a line of guys out the door. You're a total smoke show."

"No," said Grace. "Not really. Not like that."

"Woman, you better listen to me." Liv started counting on her fingers. "There's Andrew whatever-his-name-is, from baseball. He likes you. The econ guy with the legs, you know--"

"Grant?"

"Yep, he likes you."

"I've seen you with the Bally's guy," said Pri. Everyone looked confused. "There's a ripped guy in the athletic center, wears these Bally Total Fitness shirts. He's always hanging around Grace. He would ask her out in a second."

"Noo, Syed is just a gym buddy. We're just, like, doing gym stuff."

"He doesn't run up to spot me. He likes you," said Pri a little too loudly. Her glass, full to the brim with pink wine a few minutes ago, was empty. "There's a lot of fish at State. In the sea. If any of these little turds treats you bad, ditch them! You can find somebody new in like five seconds."

Liv started doing her snapping thing again, while Sylvie gently rapped her knuckles on the coffee table. I thought I heard her mumble something about "twelve guys..." but I didn't press it.

"Also..." Marco squinted and swallowed heavily. He was visibly drunk. "Also, also, also, not ten inches. Guaranteed."

It occurred to me, with the slow inevitability of the obvious, how drunk we all were. The sun had passed over the house but it couldn't have been later than five or six o'clock. The crisp blue sky, striped with long, wispy clouds, formed the backdrop for Marco's rambling. No matter who was speaking, at least two other voices would be chatting in the background, going down some tangent of the main conversation that was snaking around the room. Shirts had been untucked, hair was let down, half empty glasses were scattered around on every surface.

Liv laughed. "And how the hell do you know? You measured this David guy's cock?"

"Okay," started Marco. "And listen, don't shoot the message boy, but women don't know how big dicks are. They don't know the numbers. Men do."

Liv scoffed, but Sylvie looked intrigued. I think she sensed a debate coming on. "Okay," she said. "Is this a spatial thing? Like, women are bad at directions type shit?"

"Oh no, you're not gonna get me," he said, wagging two fingers at her. "It's not a failure of the female species. It's access. Grace, did you measure Denim David's dick?"

"What the hell?" She smiled awkwardly, looking confused. "Of course not..."

"Ever measure any guy's dick? Like, get him hard and whip out a ruler?"

"Who's whippin' out what in this scenario?" giggled Pri.

"No," said Grace again. "I never even thought about it, but isn't that kinda... rude or something?"

"Maybe, maybe not. So what we've got is this: the suspect claims to be nine or ten inches. Either he told you, or you're comparing it to some other guy and that guy told you. Right?"

"Well, he said it was."

"There you go." For a moment Marco hunted around for his glass. It contained only the smallest amount of ice but he sipped noisily at it just the same. "So number one, there's 'porn inches.' It's all sleight-of-hand. Short guys, short girls, makes six inches look like eight. Video says twelve inches but the guy is 5'3, know what I mean? It's perspective. It's marketing."

"Your boyfriend is passionate about this topic," said Sylvie. Liv laughed and made a face.

Undeterred, Marco went on. "Number two, women don't have dicks--"

Sylvie's hand shot up in protest and Kay cleared their throat loudly.

"Alright, shit, my bad. Cis women, so like ninety-nine percent of women, don't have dicks, so they can't measure them right? I'm excluding the exquisite, transfeminine penis--Don't check my search history, thanks. But! Every frickin' dude on earth has measured their dick at least once. That leaves a... a... Hey Grace."

"Hmm?"

"What's that thing from Ed Psych where student A knows one thing, student B knows the other thing, and they gotta work together to figure out the problem?"

"Information gap tasks," said Grace with suspiciously flawless enunciation.

"Yep, that's it. Good one. So that leaves an information gap. Guys exploit that. So he says 'You know how big it is, baby? It's ten inches,' and the girl goes 'Okay, I have no data to dispute that, and we're in private so why would you lie?' And now we've got a billion simultaneous fucking disinformation campaigns going on. Only with straight dudes though. The gays can't pull it off 'cause, like, the other dude has already measured himself.

"And lastly, or thirdly or fourthly or wherever the fuck I am, ten inches is basically not real. Like, it's a legit one in ten million anomaly. You won't see one."

Sylvie and Grace both started at the same time, words crashing together before they abruptly stopped.

"You first," said Sylvie.

"Thank you. So that's not true because I've seen multiple guys with ten inches and--Oh." She looked puzzled for a moment.

"Now you get it," said Marco.

Sylvie, her neck and chest deeply flushed, raised her hand. It was cute, like Marco was the professor of Human Dickology. "I don't have a hard time believing that men are systematically lying about their penis size. That's like, 'Oh my god can you believe the US staged a coup in Latin America?'" Marco nodded appreciatively. "But the risk level seems high to me. It's like putting that you're 6'1 on your Tinder and you get there and you're 5'8. The second they get a look, it's over for you."

He shrugged. "Like I said, most women don't have the info to dispute it. And by the time you see it, are you really gonna turn him down? You're gonna risk violence? Doubt it. Anyway, I'm gonna get a refill, anyone want anything?"

"Jesus," I said. "Get me some of whatever you're having."

It got some laughs. He gave me a thumbs up as he retreated to the kitchen.

"Okay, what's the biggest dick you've seen then?" asked Grace.

I carefully observed the ground for a moment, and when I looked up I caught Liv and Pri doing some sort of eyes-only telepathy. I decided to stay quiet.

"Marco! Can you get another bottle of wine!" shouted Sylvie. "Don't tell him this but I guess it's actually Marco. He's above average, right?"

Liv looked a little confused to be asked. "Uh, yeah. He's definitely big." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "But the biggest I'd say was... Marcus Engram."

Pri's eyes got big. "Oh my god, I forgot about Marcus. He's really the biggest?"

Liv smiled right at me, eyes twinkling. "Oh yeah, he was huge. Total stereotype."

I took the bait. "He wasn't on the list."

"Well I didn't fuck him, did I?"

"Kenneth," said Kay. "Ceramics, freshman year."

"Wait, who's this?" asked Sylvie, sounding hurt. "I didn't know you went with any Kenneth."

"I didn't go with him. I saw it at a party."

Pri leaned in, laughing. "What the hell kind of party would that be?"

"Like, an orgy."

"Whoa whoa whoa," said Marco as he entered the room. He had his fingers stuck in two mint juleps and had a wine bottle in the other hand. "I'm gone for two seconds and I miss the orgy talk? Start over."

"We're talking about biggest dicks," said Liv.

"Oh, I got one," he said. "Antonio Martinez. Dude is hung."

"Why do I know that name?" asked Grace.

"He's the backup goalie for the Timbies," said Liv. "Do I even want to know...?"

Marco grimaced at the suggestion. "Olivia, you know my list. You get so suspicious sometimes."

"Meow," said Sylvie. Liv gave her a look so casually withering that Syl actually shrank a little. "I was just kidding..."

"Can we get back to the orgy?" I asked. Pri scoffed. "What? Inquiring minds."

"No, I want to hear this too," said Sylvie. "Some kind of frickin' Ceramics orgy."

"Oh! Kinda like Ghost," said Pri. "But with, you know, like ten Patrick Swayzes."

Kay slouched a bit and picked at their lip. I didn't know if it was okay to say so, but they were so beautiful, with their pointed chin, dark eyelids, and a small mouth always set in a frown. Maybe it was just because they were drunk but they didn't seem very comfortable being the center of attention. It was odd to see someone so tall and striking attempt to take as little space as possible. Even so, they continued.

"It was like... February. Kenneth knew some people from Cooper Union that were having a party, but it kinda stopped at 11 and the orgy started after."

"Started, like 'If you're not here for the orgy, go home?'"

"Yeah, basically."

"And did you...?"

"Huh?" They smiled a little and shook their head. "Nah, nah. They said I could hang out though. You have to show them a clean STD test to do shit."

"And?"

"I forgot to get one?"

"No, no..."

"Well I watched them screw around for a while and left."

Sylvie solemnly shook her head. "God, I love you my big, beautiful enby freakshow. But you are fucking ass at telling stories. How many people? Was it hot? Was it, like, in the living room? The bedroom? What about Kenny's huge dick? Details, Kayby, details."

"Fine, fine, don't lose your shit. Umm... They had wristbands--hair ties actually. Green was for straight stuff, blue was for bi stuff, like that. It was a prewar apartment in the middle of winter, so yeah, it was fucking hot."

"No, not hot like hot." Sylvie's head rolled backward. "I meant like sexy-hot."

Kay smiled and took a sip of julep to fortify themself. "Yeah, okay. It was pretty hot. A bunch of cute people, definitely my kinda crowd--"

"You mean skinny, artsy, half-dead-looking types."

"If you say so. So like, eight people? There's like beer and condoms and lube and stuff. And veggies and dip, and those little sandwiches with the toothpicks. It's just kissing to start, playing Bonobo on the speakers, the lights are mostly off. Kinda softcore. Then one guy starts getting head from this other guy and it starts to get more... aggressive? And Kenneth is checking up on me since he invited me but he was kinda making out with this other chick at the same time so I was, like, about to go."

"And Kenneth's dick?"

"My bad, yeah. There's a lot of over-the-pants stuff to start but Kenneth finally takes them off and he's got a big dick. Like..." Kay glanced at Marco. "I dunno how big, but big enough that some of the others were stopping to look. It was like... the size of a water bottle. His girl was holding it and laughing at how big it was."

Of all the people to speak, it was Pri. "What'd she do with it?"

I was suddenly aware of my own cock twitching and straining. With everyone talking about dicks and sex and everything else, I'd been getting harder and harder over the past few minutes. I casually crossed my legs.

"Gave him head. And this chick had skills. Two hands, gagging on him, all that stuff."

Grace squirmed in her seat. "Fuck, that's hot."

"Yeah," said Kay, seeming a little out of breath. "For real though..." As though remembering that they were the one telling the story, they went on. "She took her time. Like, by the time she takes a break there's already a bunch of other people fucking. Kenneth's dick was--you know when they look angry, like it's about to pop? I was gonna hang around until they had sex. I was curious, you know, like how did it even fit? But they're trying to find the big condoms for him and he just starts cumming. He's like, 'Oh shit,' you know. This chick just drops right back down on him and takes it all in the mouth. It was crazy."

"How did I not know about this...?" asked Sylvie, sighing. She'd drawn her legs up to her chest as the story progressed, resting her rosé-blushed cheek on one knee. Her black leggings stretched tightly around the curve of her ass. "Why'd you leave?"

"You," said Kay. "You were drunk as shit in East Village and you sent me a voice note with, like, way too many dudes on it."

Most of us laughed. Marco howled. Sylvie made a face and reached for her wine glass.

"I always wanted to have a sex party," said Liv wistfully. I couldn't fucking believe she would say that out loud. "That would be crazy."

It might just have been me but there seemed to be a charged feeling in the room, a staticky sensation where your hair stands on end. For a brief, heavy moment, no one said anything.

"Who didn't go?" asked Grace. Her cheeks were properly red now. "Pri and Jack are left. Biggest dick you've seen?"

I looked above her head and squinted as though thinking hard. My mind was empty. All I could think about was Kay watching a big cock blowjob, then Sylvie's firm little ass, then Pri's tits shaking back and forth across her chest as I'd fucked her. My crossed legs weren't hiding nearly enough of me. As if I was surrounded by raptors, I hoped to stay still and not draw attention to myself.

"Jack," said Pri, biting the tip of her nail. "He's got a big one."

"You're kidding," said Grace. Her eyes dropped to my crotch and went wide. "Oh, hell!"

The raptors had seen me. I grabbed a cushion and covered myself. I felt like I was burning up.

"Oh man, have you got a fucking boner?" Sylvie scooted away from me, smile-grimacing wide enough to flash her fox-like incisors. "Party fucking foul."

"Come on," I said. I gestured around. "Everyone else can say 'Kenneth's big dick' and 'cum drinking' and 'I want a sex party,' but if I get a boner, I'm the bad guy?"

"Who the fuck said 'cum drinking?'" asked Marco.

"Is he really that big?" asked Grace.

Pri must have been uncommonly drunk to speak up in the first place. She shrugged, blushing like she suddenly didn't know. "Maybe. I dunno. I don't have that much experience."

"Bullshit," said Liv. "Prove it."

I glared at her. This loose-lipped fucking girl had taken my cock inside her a day ago and now she was egging me on like a bully. Button-pusher. Rude ass.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" I gripped the cushion tighter.

With wolfish eyes, she took a bite out of the air, like Yes, I would.

"C'mon Liv," said Sylvie. "You mean you don't know anything about it?"

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

Sylvie furrowed her eyebrows. "You're best friends and you never talked about Jack's... equipment? Why do I not believe that?"

"Pri doesn't kiss and tell."

"Seems like she just kiss and told," said Marco.

"Whatever, I call bullshit anyway," said Sylvie, looking me up and down. "If small dick energy was a person..."

"Fuck you," I said. I had the sudden urge to lift the pillow and flash her.

"It's big," said Kay out of nowhere. "His dick was hard at the beach when ya'll were running around with your titties out. He was pitching a... lean-to. Shit, what's bigger than a tent?"

"A yurt?" said Marco.

"Yeah, guy was pitching a yurt."

"Wow," I said. "Betrayed."

Kay made the tiniest of shrugs. "He wasn't going full sex offender or anything but the bathing suit wasn't hiding much."

"Oh, you bullshitter," said Grace. "'Wah, I wanna read my book. I'm not allowed to read my book?" Her imitation of my voice was somehow both deep and nasally. "You just didn't want to stand up with a big ol' eee-rection."

"I don't really sound like that, do I?"

"Fuckin'--" Liv nearly choked on a mouthful of wine. "Oh my god, fuckin' spot on."

"Y'all should measure him," said Marco. Shutting one eye, he held out a thumb and forefinger and placed me in the frame. "See how big he really is."

I laughed. "Yeah, right."

Sylvie gave Marco a disapproving look. "Gross, not funny."

"Who said I'm kidding?"

"I wanna see," said Liv. "See what's got my Pri all turned around."

"That's not funny," said Pri. "Forget I said anything."

"I dunno," said Kay. "I wanna see too."

I should have been protesting more. I was sloppy, bordering on truly drunk, and the idea of showing them all my dick was totally terrifying but so fucking hot.

"Let's not," said Sylvie. "Thanksss."

"Yeah, appreciate the interest," I said. Shut it down. "It's all a man can ask for in this crazy world. But no."

"Fine, fine," said Liv.

Marco waved his hand dismissively. "Have it your way. Who's up then?"

"Up?"

"Paranoia."

"Forget it," said Liv. The horizon had faded to a blue-orange blur; we'd been playing for more than an hour. "We're past that. Who...?" Liv stared off in the air, whatever she was going to say fading.

"Who what?"

"Liv's strokin' out."

"Ah," she said, as if rejoining our reality. "I was lost at sea. Was gonna say, 'worst place you masturbated'. Go."

"Go?" asked Sylvie in disbelief. "You fuckin' kidding me? Who's telling you that?"

"Fine, I'll go first. In temple. Lonny Hirsch was reading Torah and God help me, he looked so hot doing it."

"At B'nai Jacob?" Sylvie's disbelief launched to new levels. "You can't be fucking serious."

"Yeah, I went to the bathroom below the stairs and knocked one out. The one with the stalls, not the private one. Nobody came in though."

Sylvie looked stunned.

"God can't help you with that one," laughed Marco.

"Marco," I said. "How many Jewish girls do you have to date before it's considered a fetish?"

He smiled, showing his teeth. "You know I never thought about it before. But everyone knows Jewish girls give the best head."

"Oh, you little fucker," said Sylvie, while Liv just nodded at this new wisdom.

"When you two were fucking," said Kay to Liv. "We were listening on the patio. I was getting off. Probably shouldn't have."

"Wow," said Grace. Her tone was impressed. "When we were all sitting together?"

Kay nodded. "Not all the way. Finished the job in my room."

"I saw you but I wasn't quite sure," I said. "Hand in the pocket. Very subtle."

"I saw you," said Sylvie. "Grabbing at your dick like a fucking bus pervert." I was already sporting wood. It's not like I could get much more embarrassed.

Now it was Grace who made a big show of shrugging. "To be fair it was pretty hot. Faerie smut level, audio book version."

"Faerie smut?"

"You don't follow my Goodreads I guess..."

"I have a bad one," said Pri suddenly. Sucking her lip, she shrank a bit when our attention fell on her. "Okay. Not sure where to start. It was this summer, and obviously I hadn't been with anyone in awhile--"

"Because of the break," said Grace.

"Yes, because of the break..." Looking a little annoyed, she continued. "Instead of working out on campus I was going to a chain gym in Lawrence. And I was squatting, an end of the cycle, high effort kind of day--"

"What d'you squat?" asked Grace.

"What?" Pri made a face. "What do you squat?"

"I'm maxing out at--"

"Nobody cares," said Sylvie.

"Hm," said Pri. She closed her eyes, composing herself. "So, anyway, I thought everything was totally normal, just that my core was so tight and I was so sensitive. I'm walking up to the rack and getting psyched up and when I get the bar on my shoulders I can feel it. It's, like, hot down there. It happens sometimes, at least when I'm working out--"

"You get horny when you lift weights?" asked Marco.

"I mean, yeah. Sometimes. So I squatted down, and on the way back up it hits me. Like throbbing in my freaking uterus. And I just freeze up and I start having an..." She traced an O in the air like she couldn't bear to say it. "Like in waves. My legs were shaking and I couldn't rack the weight and some random guy came over to spot me cause he thought I was going to collapse or something."

"That's possible?" asked Grace. She sounded very, very interested. "You can cum from lifting?"

"Apparently..." said Pri. "I googled it, yeah. I'm kinda surprised it didn't happen sooner."

"You think it's 'cause you weren't getting laid?" asked Liv. "I know you're masturbating a lot."

"Not enough I guess," said Pri automatically, then she blushed at the admission. "I mean, it's not the same."

Kay laughed. "Never is."

I didn't want to press but I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "So this poor guy was right next to you while you were cumming and he thought he was helping you out?"

Pri covered her face and nodded. "I was so embarrassed but it's not like I could even explain it. Nobody knew. I just went home after that."

"Not technically masturbating, I think," said Liv. "But definitely has the energy I'm looking for."

"Which energy is that?"

She smiled devilishly. "Horny as fuck." More laughs.

Grace stood, pitching a little. "Whoa, I'm drunk." She shook her glass. "Anybody needa refill?"

Marco raised two fingers like he was ordering at a bar. She shot him finger guns and walked off.

"I could tell some stories," I said. "A story anyway. But I feel like when a girl talks about it, it's kinda hot, but when a guy talks about it, it's horrifying."

"The heavy burden of your predatory species." Sylvie play-frowned. "You poor thing."

"I might have one," said Marco. "Jerked off on a family camping trip--Don't fucking make that face. I smoked a joint and went for a long walk by myself. Found this little pond and it was just nice. Like, I dunno, I was feeling at one with nature. Not sure why I did it really. Just a moment of zen."

"Your moment of zen is blasting one against the side of a tree?"

"Do Buddhist monks jerk off?" asked Liv. "Like, the Dalai Lama still cranks one out when he needs to, right?"

Grace laughed as she reentered, looping around the couches to hand Marco a new glass. As we discussed the religious nature of masturbation, she took an odd route back to her seat, gathering the skirt of her sundress with one hand and scooching by a few inches in front of me. The maneuver bared her thick thighs and pulled the fabric into the cleft of her wonderfully round ass. My cock twitched.

"I can tell one," said Grace as she adjusted in her seat. The t-shirt tan from her softball uniform was stark, separating her bronzed forearms from her pale biceps and shoulders. Her nails were short, a freshly painted beige. She looked strong enough to jack my cock off my body. "But you all have to promise it doesn't leave the room. Okay? Okay. I was at a party the night before Halloween, some baseball thing I think. And I got pretty tipsy--not fucked up but pretty out there--and after awhile my friends left and the vibe was kinda bleh, so I went back to my dorm. Dina was out, some other party somewhere, IDK, and I curled up in my blankies and sorta-kinda fell asleep.

"And then, not even sure what time it was, I heard some whispering. Definitely Dina but also some guy, both drunk, sneaking into the room. Giggling, I mean. Like they know I'm there but they think I'm still asleep. I can hear kisses and, like, touching noises. I don't know how to describe it but it's obvious what's about to happen. So I can either say something--"

"Who goes there?" I said deeply, imitating the castle sentry.

"Right? Or I can pretend to be sleeping while she hooks up with this dude. And I'm thinking, who knows how long it's gonna take, how loud they're gonna be? What if I gotta pee or something? Like, Dina is not really hooking up that much so I don't want to screw it up for her, but at the same time..."

"Would she want you to listen in?" said Pri.

"Exactly! But before I can decide, this guy has his frickin' dick out and Dina is down on her knees!"

Liv made a little ah noise. "You saw them?"

"I was curled up under the blanket, kinda facing them. And I've got long lashes--slay--and obviously my eyes are more narrow or whatever, so I can pretend to keep them closed but still see pretty good."

"That feels problematic," said Marco. "Is that problematic?"

"Bro, I'm the Chinese one," said Grace. "I'll tell you. If you were paying attention to the other stories, you can kinda see where this is going..."

"No," I said innocently. "Where's it going?" Out of the corner of my eye, Pri was staring at me. She didn't look happy.

Grace bit her cheek, smiling. "Dina sucked his dick, duh. And she's not that good to be honest. I love her but she could use some practice. Thing is, she really fucking wanted it, know what I mean? She's licking the tip like a popsicle and jerking the guy raw, but he's moaning like it's the best head he ever got. It was really hot, being able to watch like that. It was like amateur porn in real life. I'm pretty wet at that point so I sneak a hand down there... and well, I usually use a toy or something. Not this time."

"Didn't they hear you?" asked Sylvie.

"I guess not because he whispers to her about having a condom and I almost squeaked right there. So yeah, I watched them do some really sloppy, kissy missionary. I think the hottest part was how fast they were moving, like they're rushing almost, so I kinda had to beat them to the punch if I didn't want to get caught. I usually, well... let's just say I like to take my time. Fuck..." She puffed her cheeks out. "Sorry if that was too much. Just got a mega horny flashback."

"Hell no," said Liv. "That was so hot. She never found out, right?"

"No. And to be honest, I almost wanted to play it up. Like, 'Wow I was soo drunk. You could do anything and I wouldn't wake up!'"

"To get her to do it again?"

"Girl, I wish."

A long pause followed. I wasn't sure how the others were feeling but I was painfully hard.

"Sat on the washing machine," said Sylvie flatly. "While my mom and Allie were home."

"Sat... on the washing machine?" asked Pri.

"You don't know about that?" Liv shook her head dolefully. "Like a full body vibrator. I could never finish with it but it feels really good."

"I just use the shower head." The girls all murmured in agreement.

"Hot tub jet," said Sylvie. "But it's so obvious, you'd get caught in a second."

"You ever use food, like a cucumber or something?" asked Kay. "With a condom on. I felt fucking stupid but it kinda worked. For a little bit anyway."

"Okay," said Grace. She sounded impatient, like she'd been holding it in for awhile. "I know I'm not the only one who wants to see Jack's dick. If you think about it, it's kinda bullshit that we haven't yet."

"And Marco," said Kay, too quickly. The tall enby had hitched their trouser legs up, showing off the dark ink of their leg tattoos. "We gotta measure them both."

Marco scrunched his eyebrows, looking amused. "You trying to emasculate me, Kay?"

"Oh, babe," Liv cooed. "That's such a big word! I'm so proud of you!"

"A little bird told me you're big," said Kay. "You shy all of a sudden?"

"You're all fucking around, right?" Sylvie looked around the room nervously. "You're not seriously gonna do some weird shit?"

"Chill. If you don't wanna watch, you don't have to."

Sylvie opened her mouth and quickly closed it. Same as her, I couldn't really think of anything to say.

"Whatever," said Marco, standing with a grunt. He fumbled with the clasp of his belt.

"Hey, what the fuck?" said Pri sharply. Marco paused, listing a little on his feet. "Don't do that."

"Why?" he asked. "I don't mind."

"Yeah," said Liv. "Let him show if he wants. Three outta seven dentists agree it's great."

It took a moment for me to realize she was talking about us. I laughed, which had the unfortunate effect of bringing the attention back to me.

Pri watched me with pinched lips, calculating on some level I didn't understand.

"Yeah," she said. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Fine."

Liv turned to Sylvie, who'd frozen. A few, heavy moments passed before she made a tiny, non-committal gesture with her hand.

"Alright then," said Liv, the matter decided. "Let's do it in my room though. It feels, like, rude to do it out here."

~

Though Liv and Marco's room had felt big when I entered, it got cramped in a hurry. Not knowing what else to do, I sat in the upholstered chair in the corner, hands restless on my thighs, my cock tucked up into my waistband.

To my left was the terrace door shuttered against the heat. The sun had already descended on the other side of the house and its failing light snuck through the slats. The room glowed orange. The sounds of movement all mingled together, bare feet shuffling, oopses and 'scuse me's, chair and bed springs squeaking.

Against the far wall, Kay relaxed on a red velvet loveseat, resting their chin on their fist. Though they usually seemed on the edge of boredom, they had found their place quickly, watching the others get situated with a gleam in their eye.

A few feet to my right was Pri sitting cross-legged on the bed. She took an unsteady sip of wine. I could have used some reassurance but she looked everywhere and anywhere else instead. The nightstand was partially between us, covered in Liv's things: the plastic case of her retainer, her hand lotion, a loose pile of cough drops.

Down from Pri was Sylvie, sitting sideways on her hip, feet hanging off the end of the bed. She sucked on her lip and rubbed her socks together in a sort of anxious motion. Somehow she seemed more nervous than even Pri, and when she met my eye she quickly looked away.

Grace was on the ground, sitting on a pillow and leaning against the bed frame. Her muscular legs were crossed at the ankle, tan lines starting sharply above the knee. There wasn't much floor space and her extended feet almost touched mine. Though she'd smoothed the skirt of her sundress, the angle from my chair allowed me to look down her impressive, pale cleavage. She looked back up at me, unsure but interested, like someone at a magic show.

Last to join us was Liv and Marco. Liv's lips looked fuller and redder than before and, though I doubt the others noticed, her shirt was twisted slightly around the waist. The two had clearly been doing some light touching in the hallway. Marco carried in a chair from somewhere else, careful not to scratch the door frame.

Liv sank into the loveseat next to Kay.

"Floor seats," she said, elbowing them lightly.

Kay kept a straight face for a half-second before it slipped into a smile. "Standing room only."

Marco placed the chair in the gap between the loveseat and the corner of the bed, completing a kind of semicircle around me. The room was hot and stuffy, or maybe it was the whiskey fucking with my body temperature. Although this whole thing was really Marco's idea, he didn't seem in a hurry to run the show.

Eventually it was Liv who spoke. "It doesn't have to be all weird and shit. Everybody take a drink."

A murmur moved through the room, as if to say That's sensible. I sipped my freshly poured mint julep. It was either mercifully low on booze or I was too drunk to taste it.

"Okay, good. We're tipsy, we're loose. Right?"

"Right!" said Grace with drunken cheer.

"Who's first then?"

Marco and I sat opposite each other, locking eyes for a moment.

"I feel like I better go first," he said. "Dick size game theory."

He stood, and without much ceremony, unbuckled. His shorts and underwear slid down to his ankles, his cock standing proudly. Like the others, his sports tan was wicked, leaving most of his muscular thighs dark but his waist and ass a light brown. His penis was much darker than mine, with a deep purple head.

"Oh," said Kay, lounging in their seat. "Nice."

Liv laughed. "He's got a good dick, right?"

"Really good," said Grace. "I mean... It's big. And it's very, like, pretty." She grimaced and laughed at herself, her cheeks somehow going a shade redder.

I knew Marco wasn't as big as me, but I didn't have a normal frame of reference. The comments made me wonder how they'd react when they saw mine. He pumped his dick a few times in his hand, squeezing at the base to keep it fully hard.

"So who's got the ruler?" asked Liv. There was a moment of confusion and she laughed. "We don't have a ruler?"

"Isn't there an app that can do it?" asked Sylvie. It was the first time she'd spoken since we'd been downstairs and her already raspy voice was low and thick. She cleared her throat. "Sorry. I saw it on Twitter."

"You're gonna trust this to some app?" asked Liv. "We need hard evidence."

Pri laughed nervously. "Good one."

"Oh. Ha. I didn't even mean to do that..."

"A measuring tape," said Marco. "That's how you do it. And you need to measure girth."

"Girth?" said Liv. "Ya'll know your girth too?" Ya'll, in this context, seemed to refer to every man in existence. Marco just nodded.

"There's one in my room," said Sylvie. "I saw it in the desk." She took her time sliding off the bed but padded out the door quickly enough.

Liv looked at me. "You gonna show us or what?"

"Uh." I wasn't sure I was ready but I didn't think that would fly here. "Should we wait for the tape?"

"Why? Is your cock a wave function?"

"Uh, what?"

"A wave function. You're afraid it'll collapse when observed."

"Legitimately the worst joke ever," I said. She was too happy with herself. "Okay, fine."

Rising to my feet, I looked at Pri again, for what I wasn't sure. Her eyes were already on my crotch, her lips wet. Whether from the heat or from nerves, I'd softened a little from full mast, my shaft slipping down one leg. I looped my thumbs and slowly tugged, revealing my trimmed pubes, then the fat, veiny base of my cock held down by the waistband.

"Fuck, stop, stop," said Liv. The first third of my length was exposed, the rest elephant-trunking below the elastic. "Stay like that for a second."

"What?"

"Taking a mental picture," laughed Grace.

"Okay, go ahead."

With a wiggle of my hips, I dropped everything to my ankles. Free of the shorts, my dick bounced, long and heavy. The head was dark pink, the slit sticky with half-dried precum.

"Oh my god," said Grace. "Fuck off. It's huge!"

"The fuck..." said Kay.

A thrill danced in my chest. My kegels flexed, my shaft lifting and swelling before bobbing back to neutral.

"Party trick," said Marco. His button down parted around his erection like a little jungle-print curtain. He casually stroked himself, sipping the mint julep in his other hand.

"Are you even hard?" asked Liv. She and Marco played their part well, both acting like they'd never seen me naked before.

"Kinda. Well, not really."

"It gets bigger?" asked Grace. Her mouth had fallen open. "Pri, are you kidding me?"

Pri raised her palm to the sky, shrugging and searching for the words. "I told you he was big. I haven't seen a lot of... guys. In person, I mean. But yeah."

"Okay..." said Liv slowly, as if they were all missing the point. "Can you get hard then?"

I hesitated for a moment, then grabbed my cock and squeezed, forcing blood into the head. As Marco and I stood six feet apart, each openly masturbating, I felt a tingle of shame below the hot numbness of the alcohol.

"Can I take my shirt off?" I asked. "It's super fucking hot in here."

"Oh yeah," said Grace, trying to exaggerate the sauciness for comic effect. It might have been funnier if she wasn't staring at my engorged cock when she did it. "No objections here."

"Sure. Whatever floats your goat," said Liv. "Marco?"

"I like my shirt..."

"You're gonna get cum on it, baby."

"Ok, fine..."

Marco and I kicked our shorts away and tossed our shirts onto the edge of the bed, eliciting a medley of growls and wolf whistles.

"God damn," said Grace, looking between the two of us. "Dick lines for days."

Sylvie appeared in the doorway and froze, eyes wide as she saw the two of us naked. Luckily the others were distracted and she was able to take a few seconds to gather herself.

"Ah, um, here it is," she said. "Catch." Though she was only a few feet away, throwing the measuring tape kept her from getting too close to Marco.

Considering Liv's alcohol level, and the fact that she played soccer and not some hand sport, she caught it deftly, unfurling it with a snap of her wrist. Holding out the tape, she slipped to the floor, her jeggings creaking audibly as they stretched against the thickness of her ass.

"Wait," said Marco. He grabbed his cock as if protecting it. "Before you measure anything, Grace has to guess. Both guys."

"Now you're just being an asshole," said Liv.

"No no, that's the whole point. I mean, other than the peep show. To prove that men are liars and shit."

"It's fine," said Grace. "I can guess. But Jack's not--you're not all the way there yet, right?"

I wasn't. My half-swollen shaft still hung out the end of my fist, bending under its own weight. "Uh, not yet," I said.

"Wild. But I can't guess properly until you are..."

Unassailable logic. I expected that I'd be rock hard in this situation. Maybe it was the booze, or the heat, or the nervous energy in the room. I pumped my cock a few times.

"I feel weird. Like, where am I supposed to look?"

Liv shrugged. "You can look at me, I don't care." Still kneeling, she wiggled her rump a little.

"Me neither," said Grace.

"Here, if you want," laughed Marco.

"Sure, okay." I glanced at Pri quickly. She bit her lip and made a small shrug. Not much help. "I just jerk off until I'm ready to measure? I should be 100%, right?"

"Do you need help?" asked Grace. "I can show you my tits."

"Grace!" said Liv. It took a lot to shock her but that seemed to do it.

"Is that not okay? I'm sorry!" She looked over her shoulder with big eyes. "Sorry Pri. I can't tell what's normal any more."

I expected Pri to flash her annoyed face again but she huffed a laugh and waved the other girl away.

"I'm just nervous," I said. "Dunno if any of you have had to masturbate for a crowd before but it's super weird."

"It's kinda nice," said Marco. He rolled a finger over his sticky slit, aiming his cock near Liv's face. She looked up at him with horny admiration, lapping her tongue in the air, suggestive but still a few inches away. "Very freeing."

I jacked myself long and slow, watching Liv not-quite fellate Marco, my cock growing in jerks and swells. I chanced a look back at Pri. She'd twisted in her seat, and when I caught her eye, she subtly reached behind the curtain of her half-buttoned shirt and peeled down her sports bra, first exposing the vivid tan across the top of one breast, then a large, dark areola. She gently flicked her nipple with a finger tip. I gripped my cock like a vice as she traced gentle circles along her brown skin, doing her best to keep a straight face and hide her little show from the others. They were so caught up in watching us boys jerk off that I don't think they could have noticed.

Stroke by stroke, the soft, downward curve of my shaft corrected itself until I was fully hard, arcing slightly up. My glans flared, red and shiny. The first bead of precum formed on my slit, growing larger and larger until it touched my pumping hand and glommed onto my knuckle. Unconsciously, I licked my lips, suddenly feeling thirsty. Pri, her hand hidden from the others, pinched and rolled her nipple. The base of my cock clenched and I spurted a few drops of precum on the floor, nearly hitting Grace's bare foot. She watched it all with a dazed look, never once considering that she should move.

"Okay, okay," said Liv. "Wow. That's enough."

Everyone seemed to snap back to reality. Liv scooched away, just a little, until Marco's cock was a respectable distance from her face. Kay sighed and slouched further. Marco, who'd worked himself into an angry, swollen mess, shook out his shoulders and relaxed. He reached down for the glass he'd left on his chair. Suddenly reminded, I grabbed my own julep off the nightstand and drank deep.

"We good to guess now?" asked Liv.

"We--" Grace started phlegmily. She pressed a bare hand to her flushed chest. "Excuse me, lol. We good." She took a deep breath, her eyelids fluttering and gave each cock a long, thoughtful look like she'd found them displayed in a museum.

I slowly squeezed myself, unable to help from looking down her sundress at her big, pale tits. More precum, sticky and hot, flowed from my slit. A web of veins traced up the length of my cock.

"For Marco," said Grace, pausing dramatically. "Ten inches. No, nine. And I'll say Jack is eleven. I want to guess twelve because fuck, look at it, but now I'm convinced my scale is off. Marco's probably the same size as David, so yeah. I dunno about thickness--"

"Girth," said Marco with a laugh. "Gotta say girth or it doesn't count."

"Girth then. I dunno about girth but Jack's got the girthiest frickin' cock I've ever seen." She looked up at me. "Your dick is fucking huge, man."

"Thanks. I guess." I held my shaft down with my thumb to show off as much length as possible. "It's genetics. It's not like I did anything."

"Those dick lines ain't genetics," said Liv. "You could drink a margarita off 'em."

"Actually, dick lines are genetics..." said Marco.

"Whatever you say, honey. Can I measure now?"

Laughing, he turned towards her. Liv leaned, stretching out the measuring tape.

"No, Liv," I said. "You measure from the top."

"See?" said Marco. "Secrets of the brotherhood." He helped Liv press the little metal end into his pubic hair, laying the tape along the top of his shaft, the rest of the roll draping off his glans. "That's good. Right at the tip." He'd placed his hand gently on the back of her head, almost like he was about to force himself into her mouth.

"What's it say?" asked Kay.

"Shit," said Liv. "For a second I thought I was too fucking drunk to read. It's in metric, obviously."

"You don't have inches?"

"It's a European measuring tape, babe. What can I say? So it's seventeen and... How many decimals are we going to here? It's like seventeen and a half centimeters. Who's got the conversion?"

Kay was already on their phone. "That's like seven inches."

"What did I tell you?" said Marco, but Grace wasn't listening.

"What's the girth?" she asked.

I saw Liv wipe something off the tape and lick her thumb before I realized she'd just eaten some of Marco's cum. She did it naturally, unconsciously. Without pausing, she began to wrap the tape around the thickest part of his shaft. I looked around the room and, based on some of the wide-eyed looks, everyone had noticed.

"Fourteen," she said, using the tape to hold Marco's dick captive. She tugged a little, making the angry brown shaft bounce.

"Five-and-a-half inches," said Kay. "Aesthetically a ten though."

"So now...?" said Liv, gesturing in my direction. "I'm not doing it."

"Uh, Pri?" asked Grace. My mostly-ex-girlfriend didn't respond right away. "I mean, I can do it..."

"Yeah, I don't think so," said Pri flatly. With a squeak of springs, she dropped off the edge of the bed and squeezed past Grace. Having undone a few more buttons, Pri lightly fanned her sweaty chest. Her blush was usually hard to see against her dark skin, but her cheeks had a deep, almost violet color as she reached out to take the tape. She paused and then stretched back behind her to snag a pillow off the bed.

"Here or here?" she asked, before settling on the opposite side, the place least likely to block anyone's view. She kneeled on the pillow, her face only a foot away from my straining cock, and unwound the measuring tape with clumsy, henna-tattooed fingers. Copying Liv, with a little guidance from me, she laid the tape along my shaft, triple-checking the measurement.

"This, right?" she said. I nodded. "Twenty. Like, exactly."

"Fuck," said Kay, dropping their phone to their thigh. "Almost eight inches."

"How thick?" asked Grace, sounding subdued. "I bet the veins add a lot. 'Specially that big one..."

I thought Pri gave her a raw look but she wrapped the tape around me anyway, measuring much faster this time.

"Sixteen," said Pri, pulling the tape away unceremoniously. "Centimeters." Without looking up, she began to carefully reroll it.

Kay blew out a breath. "Six point three inches. Girth. That's crazy fucking thick."

"That's wild," said Grace.

"Porn star thick," said Liv. "Big ass porn dick."

"How...?" Sylvie shook her head, looking a little dazed. "Pri, your poor vagina."

"It... works for me," said Pri. She opened and closed her mouth, as if not sure what else to add.

"Fuck," said Grace. "If my boyfriend had a cock like that I'd be on him every day."

"I guess that's what we heard yesterday," laughed Liv. "What'd you call it? Dick coma?"

Hearing them talk about me was too much. Looking down at Grace's flushed breasts, I took myself in hand and began to stroke.

"But his balls though," said Marco. He'd sat back down, bare ass on the edge of the chair, legs spread. He was openly jacking off, playing with his own sack using his off hand. "Like they're proportional I guess, but that just makes them huge. Cums like a damn hose probably."

"Yeah," I said, not really giving a shit any more. "It's a mess sometimes. I try to cum right into the toilet, or in... you know..."

"What?" asked Grace. I shrugged, finding Pri with my eyes. "In her? Jesus Christ..."

Feeling bold, I pumped my cock, looking around the room at whatever I wanted. Kay's open mouth, their deep, red lips, and their sinuous, tattooed arms. Liv's muscular thighs shrink-wrapped in her jeggings. The swell of Sylvie's black-clad hip as it dipped to her narrow waist, her red blouse twisted and clinging to her little breasts.

"I'm just imagining Pri on the toilet for ten minutes." Liv laughed again. "Waiting for the jizz to drain out."

"Can we see?" asked Kay.

"See? See him cum?" Liv raised her eyebrows like this was a great idea.

"Um, yeah," said Grace. "Definitely."

"That okay, Pri?" asked Marco.

Kneeling beside me, Pri stared off into nothing. "I don't care."

"Well that's not much of an endorsement," said Liv. "Alright, maybe let's just get dinner." A few groans followed, not so direct as to blame anyone, but disappointed.

Pri finally looked up at me. "It's okay if you want to." She bit her lip, eyes dragged down by the gravity of my erect cock. "It's really fine."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"You want to help?"

She paused blankly, then nodded.

I bent over a few inches, grabbed the corner of Pri's sports bra, and tugged. She tilted her shoulder, giving in wordlessly, making it easier for me to pull down the material and expose her full, brown breast. Groping a handful of hot flesh, I squeezed her nipple between my knuckles and stroked myself faster. She sighed.

"Oh my god," said Grace, shifting on her pillow. "It's happening."

"I love it," said Liv.

Looking away, almost shyly, Pri pulled out her other breast, caressing her areola as she did, her bra wrapped flat around her stomach. The dark circles stood out, wide and goosebumped, against her fingers.

"Fuck," I said, my knees wobbling. I clenched, deep in my pelvic floor, forcing a long glob of precum out of my slit. It dangled for a moment in the warm light before dropping messily onto the tile. "It's good, Pri. Show me..."

She propped up both tits with her forearm, her nipples facing up, making them that much easier to touch. For a moment I lost myself, gently squeezing each of her perfect, teardrop tits.

A chair leg squeaked. Looking up, I saw Liv leaning over Marco, her arm dangling, whispering in his ear as she pinched the head of his cock. Marco met my eye and, certain that I was watching, he squeezed Liv's hanging breast, gently kneading it through her shirt.

Kay seemed to be in their own world, one hand loosely covering their mouth as they watched me punish my dick. Their other hand rested on their thigh, two fingers lightly stroking the crease of their black slacks, not quite enough to pleasure themselves but maybe enough to scratch the hot itch in their pussy.

My voice caught, and I squeezed out two long, arcing ribbons of precum, splashing down my shaft, working their way between my knuckles until my palms were coated in slick cream. God it felt good. The sound of my masturbation shifted from the soft slapping of skin to the audibly moist squick squick squick of fucking a wet fist.

"Oh no," said Grace. "He's cumming...?" She'd squeezed her thighs shut as if to deny herself the temptation.

"It's just precum..." said a small voice from the end of the bed. "It's clear still." It was Sylvie, who seemed on edge between crawling towards me for a better view or running out of the room entirely.

Pri suddenly grabbed the meat of my calf, her other hand shoved down the front of her pants, the cords of her forearm flexing over and over as she fingered herself. I was stiffer and more swollen with blood than ever, cum no longer beading on my slit but continuously flowing. I made so much lubrication that it had started to drip, hot and sticky, off my balls. With eight inches of cock in my fist, I turned my hips until I was beating off a few inches from Pri's face, twisting my wrist at the end of each stroke, daring her to touch me with her tongue or her lips.

I heard soft laughter. Liv was trying to peel her jeggings down with one hand, holding up her wine glass in the other. Kay was already down to their boyshorts, legs parted wide, their slacks down around one ankle. The two of them laughed again as Liv poured the remaining rosé in her mouth and bent over to place the glass on the floor.

Kay's fingers danced under the hem of their underwear, circling their unseen clit. As Liv bent over at the waist, they bit their lip, staring at her panty-clad ass, sighing heavily as Liv slipped them off.

Liv returned to her seat and, after an uncertain moment of shifting around, looped one naked thigh over Kay's so they could both spread their legs. Her slit was glossy, framed by a little brown tuft of pubes. Briefly smiling at each other, Liv licked her middle finger, dropped it to her lap, and curled it inside her puffy pussy with a moan

I beat off in a frenzy, another long squirt of clear precum flinging wildly off my glans.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," said Grace as it spattered near her feet. One of her hands was now tucked into her bra, fondling her nipple. Her skirt had bunched up around her waist, the crotch of her panties pulled to the side as she desperately flicked her shiny clit. Grace's pussy was totally hairless, with fat outer lips that almost completely covered her tiny inner ones. Every few seconds she would slip her finger inside the dripping folds for more lubrication before returning to her nub.

Marco slouched in his chair, pumping his smooth, brown cock as he watched me. I pushed down hard on my shaft and released, allowing the swollen weight of it to swing and bounce. Pressing two fingers into my mound, I modeled the thickness and length of my cock for him, for all of them, before returning to my cum-slathered strokes.

Sylvie was the only person not openly touching themselves. She seemed frozen, unable to react to the sloppy masturbation occurring all around her, and her face, normally as pale as cream, had gone pink. Still laying on her hip, she was rubbing her thighs together, back and forth, the leggings going thwip-thwip-thwip. I wondered how good it must feel for her, playing with her pussy without being able to use her hands. For a moment I stared at her, taking in her sharp features, her button nose and its heavy septum piercing, willing her to look up at me, hoping to see the filthy lust behind her eyes, but she never did.

"I'm gonna cum soon," I said with a quivering voice. "I'm gonna cum..."

While Liv continued to furiously mash her clit, she turned towards Kay, speaking softly. Kay first shook their head no, then licked their lips, and slowly shook their head yes. The hand that was down their boyshorts shifted, holding up the elastic band, tenting the dark material. Liv carefully spit into her palm and slid her hand across Kay's taught stomach, reaching below the band and sticking their saliva-coated fingers into Kay's cunt.

Kay slouched further into the love seat, their head lolling to the side as Liv finger fucked them.

I shivered in surprise as something grazed my balls. Pri was stroking my sticky testicles with two warm fingers, waiting to make sure I wouldn't jump again, before cupping them gently.

"Yes, play with my balls, baby." I threaded my fingers in her thick hair and forced her to look up at me. Her face was dreamy, her eyes far away as she tickled my sack. I wobbled for a moment as the sick, sliding sensation of vertigo hit me, but it faded as quickly as it came. Fuck, I was drunk. "That's so fucking good, Pri. Play with my balls..."

My cock was bright red, veins throbbing. More precum spurted onto the floor, adding to the disgusting pool that had gathered already. A few of the droplets spattered against the bottom of Grace's bare foot. Her clit flicking had become a two-fingered maneuver, her leg wobbling back and forth with the rhythm, her eyes fixed on my fist as it slid up and down my shaft.

She was the first, panting high in her throat and grimacing as she came. "Ohhh, fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck..." Trying to drive her orgasm further, she forced a finger, then another, inside herself. I was so close that I could clearly see the entrance to her pussy clenching tightly around them, pulsing opposite her moans.

Sylvie, I thought, was next, though I wasn't sure if she was cumming or simply stifling a moan. She looked exhausted, like she couldn't keep her eyes open, lips pinched together in a flat line.

Kay grunted deeply, knees bouncing as Liv pleasured them. "Keep going," they said. "Same--just like that, just keep doing that..." A breath caught in their throat and their head fell back into the cushion.

There was a sloppy, splashy noise as Marco shot a rope of cum onto the ground, hunching over in his chair. It seemed to act as a signal to Liv, who immediately gasped, squirting a tiny arc of liquid down the red fabric of the loveseat. Her mouth hung open as she continued to beat her clit. She seized up again, a second splash of girlcum trickling out of her.

Pri groaned, gently squeezing my balls.

"I'm cum--I'm cumming," she said. "I want to see--I want to see you..."

My strokes lengthened, forefinger sliding up my frenulum to the bottom of my cockslit, teasing my cock for a few more seconds more.

Then I came. From deep in my belly, the hot flood of orgasmic bliss curled up my spine as I shot a rope of cum several feet across the floor, dangerously close to hitting the spread feet of Liv on the loveseat. I moaned and shivered, shooting another, aiming lower this time. The cumshot splattered on the tile, landing among Marco's pool of jizz, a pool that he was, with a slowly pumping hand, still adding to.

As I always did, I shot again, and again, my eyes hooded, swaying on my feet, seven or eight full ejaculations before the volume or distance started to taper off.

"Oh my goddd," slurred Grace as I grunted and sprayed hot jizz. Slowly and rhythmically, she pulled at the taut skin above her hood, stimulating herself without touching her sensitive clit directly. "How is he still cumming...?"

I shuddered, knees buckling for a moment as I stroked and squeezed. Suddenly, Pri's wet lips were on me, rapidly gliding up and down the length of my shaft, kissing and wrapping her tongue around my glans with each pass. Her eyes shut, she nursed on my cock, her arm shaking frantically as she continued to slap her clit in her panties.

"Mmm mmm mmm," she moaned against my skin, punctuated by moist sucking sounds as she took my next few spurts of cum into her mouth.

"Suck him, Pri," said Marco. "Fuck yes, suck his cock..."

"Oh my god..." panted Grace again. I glanced over to find her once more flicking her clit, eyebrows clenched together as if in pain.

My breathing went ragged as my sensitive skin started to overload. Pri knew my body well enough to slow her working mouth. A moment later she was barely tracing her tongue around the still-swollen ridge of my cock. I shivered. Whether Pri came a second time I didn't know, but the fingers in her pants had slowed to a gentle fondling.

Liv must have finished masturbating both Kay and herself. Her moist hand rested on her thigh, the same thigh that was still looped over Kay's. The black boyshorts that Liv had invaded with her sapphic fingers were visibly sticky, while Liv's own pussy glistened happily.

The only sounds in the room were our combined ragged breathing, the slow puckering of Pri's mouth against my cock, and the rapid schlicking of Grace jilling herself off. Although we'd all, I thought, cum at least once, she was the only one still actively trying.

The attention of the room, the still-swirling horny energy, was focused entirely on the thick Asian athlete. From her angle on the bed, only Sylviewas unable to watch the girl fuck herself. Grace didn't notice, or simply didn't care, as she pawed her heavy breast, her fingers a blur as she fanned them over her swollen clit.

She was still watching Pri suck at me. Right before sex or right after were the only times I was small enough for Pri to fit me fully in her mouth. Whether it was for Grace's benefit or not, she did it now, forcing my shrinking cock past her lips. She was oddly skilled at sucking my semi--she sometimes said it was the only time she could blow me "for real"--and she reveled in it, swirling her tongue and trying for all her worth to suck me down her throat.

"Fuck, Pri." I stroked her thick black hair. "It feels so good, you're gonna get me hard again..."

Grace whimpered, her leg shivering, cumming for a second time. Biting her lip, she blew air out of her nose, her hips bucking slightly as her pussy-cream dripped out onto the pillow under her ass.

Over the shaft in her mouth, Pri watched Grace cum, on and on, until the other girl was finally finished, at which point my ex pulled her mouth off of me, spittle hanging off her lip.

For a stretch of time, thirty or forty seconds, no one spoke. Heads lolled, legs stretched, breathing slowed. Glances around the room to survey the damage, careful not to meet anyone's eye. Then, of course, Liv.

"Grace, tell me why the fuck you need a man?" she asked. "You can obviously take your needs without all the headaches."

Most of us laughed, even Marco. He leaned against the back of his chair, absently jerking his wilted cock. A thin trail of cum glinted on his thigh

"That was fuckin' weird," said he said. "Super hot, but fuckin' weird."

"What a mess..." said Liv, bending forward to look at the spent seed Marco and I had shot all over the ground.

"You should talk. At least we did it on the floor."

Liv patted her pussy lightly, wincing in pleasure. "It felt good though."

"It felt good..." agreed Kay. Nobody mentioned the obvious boundary that Liv and Kay had leapt right over.

"I'm... hungry," said Grace to the room. "How is the sun still out?"

"The Spanish timezone is fucky." I slowly sat, my chair creaking, my thighs and forearms stiff from clenching. "General Franco changed it to... ya know what? I'll tell you later."

Liv was still playing with herself, tracing a sticky finger up and down her flared labia without embarrassment. "Mmmmarco, handle dinner? Kay, wine. Jack, you're cleaning up all this jizz, obviously--"

"I'll do it," said Pri.

"Lemme help," said Grace. "I know where the cleaning stuff is."

"Right, Jack gets a break then." Liv stood, naked from the waist down, the inside of her tanned thighs glistening with pussy juice. "Sylvie, can you do laundry? Sylvie?"

Sylvie, a little dazed, snapped to. "Okay. Sure. Okay." She crawled off the bed and gingerly picked up Marco's cummy, discarded pants, holding them at arm's length. She hesitated for a moment, then grabbed Liv's jeggings and sticky panties too.

More quickly that I could have imagined, the group stirred into motion. Maybe it was due to their new assignments or maybe it was just the urge to move on, without comment, from whatever the fuck just happened.

"Thanks Jack," said Liv. "Thanks Marco."

As if suddenly remembering to tip their tour guide, the others piped up as well.

"Thanks."

"So great. Thanks!"

"Yeah," said Grace with a smile. As casually as could be, she adjusted her bra, tits wobbling into place. "Thanks for the show."

Through the humming and quiet chatting and moving of chairs, I trudged towards Liv's bathroom and the shower I desperately needed.

To my retreating back, Sylvie said something. Not listening at all, thinking she might be asking for my dirtied clothes, I turned.

Again she said, "It's like slouching toward Bethlehem."

"What's that mean?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," she said, and she turned away.