I Can Only Love You Twice

(This story is the property of its author, H. K. Smythe. Any unauthorized reproduction or reprint without the express authorization of the author is strictly prohibited.)

I Can Only Love You Twice

Raymond Simpkins

Our story starts off like a lot of others, a wild first three years of college and then settling on a lover for the last year. We got married right after graduation and began our careers in Dallas. Danielle worked in Campaign Design for an advertising firm, while I worked as an actuary. Both of us traveled, I was a junior consultant for pension plans and insurance companies, while she helped with client presentations for sales or marketing, no matter what the product. We both ended up with a lot of traveling throughout Texas and Oklahoma, with occasional forays into neighboring states.

Dani, as everyone called her, and I worked hard both for professional success, but also to accumulate a nest egg for when we began to have children. Dani was a little concerned about giving up her career, and even though I was sure we were financially secure, we were soon approaching our fifth anniversary without the presence of children. We finally agreed that we could hire a nanny/maid with our combined incomes and that she could take a three month maternity leave during the summer.

Dani

After three years of fucking almost everyone on campus with a cock, I decided to go for a double degree of BBA and Mrs. Ray seemed to be the man. He was a unusual combination of nice and sexy. It didn't hurt that he was smart and cared about my orgasms. We got married right after graduation and settled down to jobs in Big D.

Our plans for accumulating a nest egg for a down payment on a home came to fruition and we even had some extra for our future children' s post-secondary education. I also participated in the planning of the Regional Marketing Conference, which was a conference for coordination across the twenty-five offices in the Southwest Region. The conferences were rotated among the larger offices in the region, even though the regional headquarters was located in Los Angeles. I was well aware that influential executives from both the regional and national headquarters would be in attendance.

We decided that I would go off the pill at the start of the Summer, which would be after the Regional Marketing Conference. I was slated to lead a working group on Marketing Campaign Design, which was one of my strengths. Early in the conference I made it a point to meet C. Averill Hansen, the regional chief of Campaign Design. That made him my immediate superior in my functional area, although my direct reporting responsibility was to the head of the Dallas office.

Ray

It was our fifth Spring as man and wife and we decided that she would go off the pill in the middle of the next Summer and that should allow for delivery early in the following Summer after she returned to her normal fertility cycle. Our decision came just before the regional marketing conference which was being held in Dallas. The Southwestern Region contained thirteen states and was headquartered in Los Angeles, but the Regional Conferences were rotated among the larger offices in the region.

Virtually everyone in the Dallas office was working to make the conference a success, and their efforts were heightened by the knowledge that there would be executive contingents from both the Los Angeles Regional Headquarters, but also the New York City National Headquarters. The conference was slated to last five full days with the out-of-town contingents flying in Sunday afternoon and flying out Saturday afternoon. The social events, including a kick-off dinner Sunday night and a breakfast Saturday morning, which would be potentially attended by fifty or so out of towners, and thirty or so locals, including employees and spouses.

Dani

Both Ray and I met C. Averill Hansen at the Sunday night kick-off dinner, and I thought he was an attractive, confident, highly competent young man, probably a few years older than Ray and me. I looked forward to working with Avie. I looked at his attendance at the conference as an opportunity to make an impression on someone who could help me in my career. I hoped he would be impressed by my workshop leadership.

Avie and I ate lunch together several times during the conference and we seemed to have a special rapport. Some of it was just casual flirting, but even that was fun. I would also talk to him between presentations and workshops.

Thursday night Ray seemed to be a little put out with the two of us. I guess he thought he was afraid our casual flirting wasn't entirely harmless. That night I tried to reassure him by making love to him especially passionately. I have to admit that Avie did seem to be getting a little more serious in his flirting and even a little touchy, although it was still low-key, like placing a hand on my arm when he was trying to make an important point. The thought that it could become more than casual did cross my mind but I don't think either of us was very serious about it until the Friday night dance.

Avie was an excellent dancer and I very much enjoyed touching and being touched as we danced several dances together. I could tell Ray was getting a little upset. Perhaps he was justified, I don't think Avie nor I knew where we were going with this or if we wanted to go anywhere. I did drink enough to feel a bit tipsy, and I guess it was enjoying the mutual touching more than I should have. Perhaps I should have suggested the possibility of this being more than a casual work relationship before I introduced the possibility while dancing with Ray. Maybe I wasn't completely understanding what Ray was saying. At first, it seemed that he was fine with Avie and I going extracurricular, but then he got angry. When he got angry, I got angry.

Ray

I was pleased to see Dani revved up as she was leading a workshop on Campaign Design, and also that she wanted me to be at her side for the six evening socials and the Saturday morning breakfast. I fully expected to be dutifully entertained by advertising campaign mumbo-jumbo and repeated explanations of just exactly what it is that actuaries do. Beginning with the Sunday evening kick-off it seemed that Dani was constantly running into C. Averill Hansen, the regional chief of campaign design.

Avie was a very confident, somewhat brash, know it all. I could tell that he was intelligent, but he seemed more interested in slogans than substantive matter in advertising or anything else. He also seemed intent on forming a relationship with Dani, although it was difficult for me to decipher how much was professional and how much was inappropriately personal. He did seem to be very positive and complimentary about Dani's contribution to the company success. He also seemed quite aware that he was a good-looking guy at six-foot-two with broad shoulders and narrow waist, clearly the product of time spent in the weight room.

Early in the week, Avie's flirtations with Dani seemed fairly subtle, but as the week progressed, both Dani and he seemed to become more blatant in their flirting.

After the Thursday night dinner, I almost had to physically separate them so that I could take Dani home. I had no idea what was going on during the day. Thursday night in bed, Dani seemed to be her usual passionate self, and we even had seconds which was unusual, but had happened before.

As we got ready for the Friday night event, I was once again amazed at how attractive my wife was. Her little black dress showed off her assets, which were often muted by her chosen workday business attire. Her figure was displayed with nothing left to the imagination, when she wore her little black dress with her black hair released to its full beneath the shoulders length. It was clear that she had a hot bod with her 34C-23-34 figure and long tanned, fit legs supporting her five-foot-eight height.

My first intimation that this would be a long night occurred at the cocktail party when Dani was surrounded by male client personnel. Avie seemed particularly attentive continuing on to his sitting by Dani on the opposite side to me. Dani didn't ignore me, but she seemed to have more to converse about with Avie than with her husband who hadn't seen her through most of the day. The dinner was followed a congratulatory speech by the firm's CEO. We had time to get another round of drinks while the band was setting up. Dani and Avie went to get drinks and Dani brought my standard old fashioned, as she and Avie chatted both to and from the open bar.

As soon as the music began, Avie asked Dani to dance, and she quickly set her drink on the table and gave him her hand. After that, she only briefly returned to our table to gulp down a drink, before returning to the welcoming arms of Avie. I hadn't expected to have to compete for my wife's attention. On one of her brief breaks, I suggested I would like to get a dance or two in with her. As the band was beginning its last set, she did find time for a dance with me, with an unfortunate conversation.

As we began my first dance with her, she said, "We've never talked about this, but would it harm our marriage, if we spent a night apart?"

I stuttered, I was so surprised, although it wasn't a complete shock. I inquired, "Are you considering spending the night with Avie?"

She smiled happily, "I'm so glad you have such a good attitude; I was a bit worried about how you'd react."

I responded, "Dani, I never said I was on board with any such thing!"

She replied, "Darling, did I misunderstand?"

I explained, "Darling, I think you did. I don't think I'm ready for an open marriage."

She continued, "Dearest Ray, I'm not talking about an open marriage, just one night with Avie. I'd like to get to know him better. Besides, it could help my career, if I understand him better."

I was trying to maintain my cool, "I don't think this is the best way to go about advancing your career."

She agreed, "Probably not. I'd just like to do it with him."

It didn't think we were communicating well, "So you expect me to sit at home alone, while you screw him all night?"

She happily told me, "I knew you'd understand!"

I raised my voice a little, "I understand that you don't care about our relationship. I understand that you want to be another man's slut."

She spoke calmly, "Ray, don't make a scene."

I said, "Dani, don't do this."

She explained calmly, "Ray, you are the love of my life. I love you very much. I just want this night for me. In a few months I'll be fat with your baby. Is this too much to ask?"

I tried to speak calmly, "Dani! I think it is too much to ask!"

She raised her voice, "You'd dump me for one indiscretion! I don't believe you! Is that all our love means to you?"

The music had stopped between songs. She continued in a calm, steady voice, "You need to get your head on straight, mister. I'm neither your slave nor your personal handmaiden. Get over yourself!"

She stalked off. She walked in Avie's direction. He looked at her questioningly. She said something to him, as I stood on the dance floor, dumbfounded. He sneered at me, then took her hand and walked out of the ballroom. I hurried after them. As they entered the elevator, I called out, "Don't do this, Dani!"

I watched the elevator go up to the twelfth floor. It paused. I stupidly stood there watching as it returned to the main floor. The doors opened. It was empty. Just as empty as my heart. My phone beeped, indicating a message.

It was from C. Averill Hansen's phone, "See you in the morning, Babes. I love you. XOXOXOX. Dani."

Why didn't she just say, "Fuck off, asshole!" The semantic content would have been just about the same. I went home and packed my bag. I wouldn't be having anything to do with her until I talked to an attorney Monday. The only asset we had worth mentioning was the home down payment fund. It would be a simple divorce. I couldn't believe this was the woman I had loved with all my heart for five years. Not only that but I had been planning to have children with her and spend the rest of my life with her.

I called a friend from high school and asked if I could spend the night. I took my wedding ring off and left it on the table. I wrote a note, "Dear Dani, We're done. We can split without an attorney if we agree on a 50-50 split. Your former love, Ray."

Dani

I knew that some of the things that Avi and were doing were a bit over the line, but It was all in good fun. He was a good dancer, and I enjoyed dancing him. I knew I was attracted to him, but over the years both before and after I met Ray, I had been attracted to a lot of guys. Maybe I hadn't drunk quite as much alcohol, or maybe I was feeling the increased desire that comes along with ovulation, but for some reason this was different. I was feeling excitement in my stomach and arousal in my pubis. I was thinking that this is important. There was no reason to think it was important except maybe there was an unfortunate coincidence of pheromone production between Avi and me. When I danced with Ray, he seemed to get very pissed when I basically asked for a one-time hall pass. I thought he agreed, but either I misunderstood or he changed his mind. It felt like he wasn't totally on board with it, but when Avi and I entered the elevator to go to his suite, I did hear Ray shout after me, "Don't do this, Dani!"

For me, it was too little too late. We made out like bandits in the short ride to the twelfth floor. We embraced and kissed outside his room. Once inside, we kissed as we took each other's clothes off. I couldn't believe how hot I was for what he had. Even before I had his boxers off, I could tell how big and hard he was. Bigger than Ray, I wanted to feel him inside me. In my funk, I could think of nothing else. He swept the bed covers off and I lay prone diagonally across the bed. He presented what must have been eight inches of feminine delight to me and I kissed and sucked him enough for him to be well lubricated.

I rolled over to a more central supine position. I spread my legs inviting whatever. He lifted my knees over his shoulders and began licking my pubic area while massaging my breasts with his hands. He narrowed his pubic concentration to my clit and my labia. It wasn't long until I exploded into a great orgasm.

He decided that I was prepared enough and he moved his arms between my legs where he could hold my back while he kissed me and slowly penetrated me with his monster cock. The biggest cock I had ever had before was Ray's. This was one time I didn't really want to think about Ray. Avie and his equipment were helping me with that. He was filling me up and it felt fabulous. Each of his strokes was driving me higher and higher. It just felt great as I felt the signs of impending climax. He continued pumping me as I came, prolonging the delicious sensations of erotic delight.

His continued pounding took me over the top to another orgasm. It was wonderful. Again he continued ramming his pelvis against mine through my climax and on to the next one. A few minutes of steading pounding and increasing arousal, and we exploded together in mutual orgasm. Avie seemed to enjoy it almost as much as I did. We looked at each other and said, "Wow!"

My feelings were indescribably. I just felt wonderful, proud of my orgasms, proud of how I felt as I his cum slowly leaked from my cunt and onto the bedclothes.

I began cleaning him and possibly preparing him for an encore experience. He didn't disappoint me. Soon he was pounding me again, this time in the doggy style position. The effective was equal if not better to our earlier missionary position episode. As before he continued thrusting himself against me even when I was cumming which prolonged the experience. After another four orgasms and his ejaculation, I think we were both tired enough for some deep sleep.

I lay against him with his arm across my body, images of our next screwing going round and round in my mind. All I could think of was sleeping a little and then repeating the whole process again. It was still dark outside when I woke up. It was around four am. I was thinking I need to go home to my family, but before I left I wanted another session like the earlier one. His cock was showing the first signs of morning wood as he slept peacefully on his back, softly snoring. I went to work with both hands and mouth, one hand gently massaging his balls, one hand wrapped around the base of his cock and my mouth giving it to him up and down on his head and the next few inches. That gave him a very nice awakening.

All he said was, "Ohmigod, you're the best!"

His rod was like steel as I continued working it with one hand, as I slid up his body to give him a deep kiss, then I aligned my pussy with his monster manhood, and guided him in. Feeling his rod of joy slide into my well-used vagi was a sensation like no other. I could feel it in my nipples. I could feel it in my ass. Even my toes were tingling as I began my assigned task of thrusting my pelvis against him and enjoying the erotic pleasure of being full of a steel-like prick. I fucked my way to a memorable orgasm, paused a minute, and then went to work on the next one.

All I could think of was rubbing my cunt against that wonderful cock. Nothing had ever felt like the delicious sensation of that woman pleaser pleasing my kitty. I must have cum five or six times before I felt him spurting inside me. As I kissed him over and over, I congratulated myself on the greatest sex of my entire life.

Reluctantly I moved away from his face and began to clean his fabulous equipment orally. Soon he was not only clean but my magic mouth had him ready for action again. He lubricated himself in my ready and willing pussy, and then told me, "You're going to get it in the ass, slut!"

I spoke two words only, "Bring it!"

Avie was a little impatient and I hoped he wouldn't cause an infection, but he would push on my ass, penetrating a little with a couple of strokes and then stick his organ into my pussy for more lubrication. Finally, he was fully in my rectum, and the pain was passed and the pleasure began to increase. I supported myself with one arm and with the opposite hand I rubbed my clit, while his balls spanked my labia. He was grasping my boobs so I was getting multiple stimulations of my erogenous zones. I could feel myself getting higher and higher in preparation for a truly massive climax, and when it came, it was almost stunning in its completeness. For a few seconds I was only semi-conscious, but his steady stroking in and out of my rectum soon brought me back to the present, and I began enjoying the carnal pleasures of anal violation.

Finally, on the third or fourth of my convulsive orgasms, I felt him spurting against my rectal walls. I had one last massive body-shaking climax, and collapsed, prone on the bed. I think we were both finished. He was starting to put his clothes on. I knew I had to deal with an unhappy husband, and I needed to prepare myself for the breakfast.

I had breakfast in my cocktail dress. I suspect most of my coworkers who attended the breakfast had a good idea of what had happened. Added to that was the absence of my husband.

Avie wouldn't even give me a ride home after the breakfast. He claimed it was too close to his flight time and he needed to get to DFW. On the ride share home I belatedly fretted about whatever was I going to tell my darling Ray.

I knew I loved Ray and he was the one for the rest of my life. I didn't know how I was going to explain to him my justification for him no longer being my only. Ray had a warm and generous personality; I hoped his generosity would extend to allowing me one night of passion with someone else. I knew this would be a hard sale, but I also knew that Ray was genuinely a nice guy. Maybe he would give me an after-the-fact free pass, and not a 'Do not pass go; do not collect $200' card.

Ray

I told my friend, Drew, what had happened. He and his wife both agreed that I had done the right thing. We drank a few shots of good Kentucky bourbon. That was enough to allow me to pass out on their sofa. I forgot to turn my phone ringer off. Around ten Saturday morning, it rang. I was just waking up so I answered it.

It was a Dani crying, "How could you, Ray? You didn't show up for the breakfast. I had to take a ride share home. You can't be serious that you want a divorce. We have a great relationship, why would you want to end it?"

I told her, "Dani, it seems that we have a different definition of a great relationship. Mine doesn't include fucking the first stud that comes along and wants a piece of your ass."

She cried and said, "Ray, I thought you loved me. I thought we were a great team."

I replied, "I thought the same things, but I found out that your definition of love included fucking around, while mine didn't."

She stated, "Ray, I didn't think I was blowing up our relationship. Can we at least sit down and talk face to face?"

I said, "I'm not sure why. I understand your position, and I think you understand mine. I don't see there being a middle ground."

She continued, "I must have hurt you or you wouldn't be so mean. I never intended that. I'm beginning to see that I might be one that screwed up. Can't you at least talk to me about it?"

I said, "Why, Dani? What's the point?"

She responded, "I'm beginning to see where you stand, Ray. I'm beginning to see that I fucked things up. Please at least talk to me. I don't want to believe that it's over between us; I at least want to know that there's no way back before I give up. Can you at least do this one thing for me? I am very sorry for upsetting you. I had no intention of breaking us up. Ray, I love you."

I didn't really want to talk to her, but I guess I felt an obligation to make sure she understood that our relationship was on life support and going downhill fast. I agreed to meet her at a coffee shop.

When I sat down at her coffee shop table, she looked at me sadly, "Thank you so much for meeting with me, Ray. I realize now that I had it wrong from the beginning. You tried to tell me, but I wasn't listening. Ray, I saw career advancement and a good fucking at the cost of one night not spent with you. One night away from you was a cost, but I clearly didn't consider the true cost. I didn't anticipate your pain or the ramifications for our relationship. I enjoyed being with Avie. He gave me a good fucking. But he's nothing compared to you. I knew it before; now I know it even better. I hope I'm not using all my credits up just to have this meeting. I hope you can look at all the good times we've had together, and look to a future of more good times, including a family. For me, it's simple. Avie's in your class as a lover, but he's not much more than that. I realize that we had a very intimate relationship that made both of us very happy and if I didn't destroy it with my insensitivity to your feelings, I at least put it at severe risk. I really do want to pay the price for having a wonderful family with you. I realize now that I messed things up pretty badly. Looking back, I find it hard to believe that I could be so selfish and insensitive. If you can't forgive me then I 'll have to adjust to the fact that I screwed up a wonderful relationship. I just hope you can give me a chance to show you that I'm much closer to being your wife of the last five years than the insensitive bitch of last night, and I guess, last week. Thanks for meeting here and listening to me. I guess it's time for me to shut up and listen to you."

I was trying to put things together in my head and explain what I was thinking, all at the same time.

"First, I don't think you have any idea how it made me feel for you to choose Avie over me, even if it was just for one night. That really hurt. I felt you trampled on our physical relationship and by doing that you did a lot of damage to our emotional intimacy. To me, there is a great incompatibility between having a loving, intimate relationship, and spending the night with a pussy hound like your darling Avie. The kind of relationship I thought we had is a wonderful thing, but it doesn't come free. It takes two people working to keep it fresh. The last few days show that one person can't do it by themselves. I don't know if I want to be emotionally intimate with you again, it hurts too much when you pull away."

She replied, "I think I'm beginning to get it. That last thing you said really hurt me. It shows how much I hurt you, and it hurts me to think that my foolish, selfish behavior caused you to not want intimacy with me anymore. I'm getting a sense of the damage I have done by being insensitive to your feelings. I admit that I thoroughly enjoyed fucking Avie, but I'm seeing now that by doing that I may have cost myself a great relationship that is worth infinitely more. I think I understand what's at stake here, I just hope my understanding is not too late for us. What are you thinking, Ray?"

I told her, "I'm thinking that you've said some very good things just now. I don't think these were the things that you were saying or thinking last night."

She cried a little and then wiped away some of the tears, "Ray, you had it right all along, and I had it wrong last night. I had a lot of chances to do right, and I missed them all. Ray, I know, I fucked things up. I'll do anything to make it right!"

I explained it to her, "Dani, you hurt me badly. That's what we're up against. You're a wonderful person. I just don't want to hurt like this ever again. I feel like I put my soul into the wrong relationship. Do you know how that feels?"

She cried some more. Then she told me, "I'm starting to get a sense of it, Ray. The difference is that you're thinking going with me was a mistake. I'm thinking, 'how could I have screwed up so badly?' Ray, I think that the last five years were heavenly. I think the next five years could be even better. The next five years would have been better if I hadn't fucked things up. Ray, we can still have a great life together. I'll never pull a stunt like last night again."

I replied, "Dani, I just don't know. We did have a good last five years. Right now, all I can feel is my heart going down just as fast as that elevator was coming back from the twelfth floor. I wanted you to be happy, but not if it meant fucking a stud from out of town all night. I just can't get the feeling of my life going into the toilet as you took that elevator up. I'm not saying we can't get back together. I am saying that I hurt too much to do it now."

She responded, "Ray, thank you for meeting me today. I can see that you are feeling estranged from me. I never wanted that to happen. I'd like to comfort you, but I'm afraid you're not ready to let me back into your emotional life right now. If there's anything I can do to make you feel better I'll do it."

I told her, "The biggest question in my mind is whether the real you was last night or the five years before. I just don't know what to think. I don't want another blowup like last night even if it's five or ten years before it happens again. Right now, I have no reason to believe it'll even be five years before it happens again. Maybe it'll be the next time Avie is in town. That'll probably be a lot less than five years."

She cried some more. Then she explained, "That hurts me a lot. Hearing that is extremely painful. Maybe I deserve it, but it still hurts. I think we need some time to consider what was said today. I can only say that if I had imagined the damage I was doing last night, I would have never done it. I'm so very, very sorry for hurting you. I've never stopped loving you, in spite of my behavior last night."

I explained, "I think we both have a better understanding. However, I think we've had enough for today. We'll talk again. Goodbye, Dani."

Dani spoke softly, "Ray, I want so much to get back together. I hope we'll talk again sooner rather than later. I love you. I loved you even when I was enjoying being bad last night. Now I wonder how I could have been so stupid. I know this is hurting you. It's hurting me, and I know it's all my fault. Goodbye for now!"

She trudged out of the coffee shop. I paid the bill and followed in her footsteps. It seemed like a long drive to Drew and Traci's place.

Drew asked me how my meeting went. I told him, "She seems remorseful, but she didn't have any response when I suggested that we would be good until the next time the asshole comes to town."

Drew suggested, "More truth than poetry in the saying, 'Once a cheater; always a cheater.'"

I replied, "It would be easy to get back together, but I would feel like the Sword of Damocles was hanging over my head the whole time."

Traci interjected, "That doesn't sound like a basis for a good relationship."

I agreed, "It surely doesn't. The five previous years were really good, but it's like she wiped that out in one horrible night."

Traci replied, "It's not going to be easy, whichever way you go."

Drew added, "Nobody promised you a rose garden."

I responded, "Even a rose garden has thorns!"

We left it at that. Traci served us beers, and we started watching a televised football game. I had no idea what to do. I had neither asked for or expected this turn of events. It was good to be with friends and at least be partially distracted by watching the game and chatting with friends. Traci ordered pizza for us and their children. After the children went to bed, we chatted some more. Drew and Traci were tactful enough to not bring anything up about Dan's and my collapsed relationship, as we watched an adventure movie. Sometime after ten they went to bed after Traci provided me a pillow and bedclothes for the sofa.

I hadn't decided to move out of our apartment although I was certainly considering it. I needed to address that issue soon, as I didn't want to impose more on Drew and Traci's hospitality or sleep on their couch much more.

I thought about where my life was as I lay on the couch waiting for sleep. Breaking up with Dani would put all our plans for the future null and void. I had envisioned a pleasant suburban life style with children, similar to what Drew and Traci had. Traci wasn't subservient to Drew's wishes, but she was loyal to a fault, and I knew she would never cheat on Drew. Of course, I had thought that about Dani before it happened, but I also knew that Traci and Dani were very different women. They had gotten along when we had get-togethers but we all knew that Traci and Dani would never be best buds. I began to think that some basic differences in values between Traci and Dani had a lot to do with the difference in Drew's and my marital statuses.

Perhaps Dani wasn't ready for a suburban mom lifestyle. Perhaps she never would be. The next time we had a sit-down that would be something to discuss.

Monday morning at work Dani called me. She asked me to come home for dinner. I was hoping we were on the same page as wanting to get some closure whatever that entailed. She had prepared a nice ribeye dinner, complete with candlelight. I figured if nothing else I could pick up some clothes and perhaps rent an apartment or at least an extended stay motel. She said that I could choose how things went tonight. She would be happy with us going to bed, or we could talk some more about her 'mistake.'

I asked her if she really wanted to become a mom at this time. I told her I had envisioned her becoming a stay-at-home mom with us having multiple children. I had doubts about that being what she wanted at least at this time. She told me she enjoyed working, but maybe it would be better for her to become a full-time homemaker at least until the children started school. I told her I wasn't sure that was really what she wanted. I pointed out that we had the money to make a down payment on a starter home several years ago. If we had gone that route, the 'Avie business' would never have happened.

She admitted that she had some reluctance to give up her job and that the prospect of being a stay-at-home mom was a change, creating uncertainty, and maybe a little fear.

She told me, "Of course, I want to be a mom, but I was thinking we could be parents in the evening and have a nanny. We could afford a nanny if she wasn't too expensive."

I agreed, "A nanny might be less expensive than paying for multiple childcares, but that doesn't solve the issues of fidelity and respect. Until the other night, I wasn't concerned about that. Now, I'm very sensitive to it."

She replied, "I understand, and I know it's my fault. I can't take what I did back, but I regret it enough that I truly believe I could never do it again."

I commented, "I guess that's the heart of the matter. I believe that you feel reluctant to do it again now, but maybe that reluctance won't guarantee anything about the future. When we talk about our future together, my memories of that night come back, and I want to pull away. I don't know anything else to say. That's the way I feel."

She responded, "Of all the people in the world, I have the least right to question that. If I had realized the enormity of what I was doing, I would never have done it. All I can do now is say that I'm sorry. If you give me a second chance, I will do my best to show that I deserve it! I really want 'us' to be back in your vocabulary."

I informed her, "Dani, I'm going to move into an extended stay motel. I don't know what to tell you about the future. All I can say is that I'm not ready to reconcile yet!"

She summarized, "I understand, Ray. I'm not happy about it, but I understand. I want so much to go back to the way things were. I have never stopped loving you. I hope you still have some love for me."

I answered, "There's some love mixed in with the painful memories. I'm still in the pain avoidance mode now. I want the hurting to stop before I concern myself with what the future can bring."

She apologized, "I'm so sorry, Ray. Keep yourself safe. I hope you'll come back to me."

I replied, "Goodbye for now, Dani!"

I spent about two weeks licking my wounds and going through the motions at work. We would have uncomfortable lunches several times a week, but at this point, we both knew it was on me. Could I live with what she had done? I reviewed the good aspects of our relationship. I was still in love with her. I found her smile and the lilts of her head when she was interested in something still appealing. We went out on a date Saturday night in between the first and second weeks and decided that it would be okay to go to bed without any conditions. The lovemaking was wonderful, as good as it ever was, even though we both were aware of our uncertain future.

I finally decided that even though the bad was really bad, the good was awfully good. I warned her that I could only love her twice and we were on our second try. I'm not sure if she took it to heart but I had at least stated it unambiguously.

She seemed remorseful and was willing to go off the pill and start our family. I thought we shouldn't jump in, and we deferred starting on trying for a family for around a year; then, the urge to procreate became overwhelming and she started dropping babies every other summer.

Ten years later we were in our mid-thirties and we had added Jimmy, 8, Marsha, 6, Jack, 4, and Marianne, 2 to our family. Dani decided that tubal ligation was her choice for future birth control and she had it done while recovering from Marianne. I considered four to be enough. We were both doing well professionally and it was looking like I had made a good decision ten years earlier, when I decided to go for the long haul with Dani.

Dani was working with a client's marketing campaign in New Orleans. The client person she had been working with invited her to his Krewe Ball on a Saturday night. She asked if I could come to New Orleans for the weekend. It seemed like a unique opportunity to experience the real Mardi Gras. I booked a flight for Friday night.

By the time, we drove into downtown New Orleans, it was already 8 pm. We went to one of the fine French Quarter restaurants for dinner. Then had a nightcap at one of the well-known French Quarter bars. We then went to her hotel, which was a high-rise near Canal Street and the French Quarter. The next morning we went to the Krewe Den, and her friends from the client met us there and gave us a tour of the thirty or so floats and the racks and racks of costumes.

Dennis seemed like a very nice guy. He was a handsome fellow with olive skin, indicating a mixed heritage. He was Dani's primary contact. I could see from their easy way with each other that they had a good rapport. James was Dennis's boss and was primarily responsible for periodically reviewing Dani and Dennis's work. He seemed to be a little full of himself and tended to be a little grating personality-wise. His African heritage was obvious from his dark brown skin. Both he and Dennis were tall in the six-foot-three to -four range, making my five-ten height seem small.

James and Dennis took turns telling us about each float as we took an up close look. Dennis took a pleasant informative attitude, while James's approach was more of a 'aren't we wonderful' and 'don't you wish you could be here every year' introduction with attitude.

We had a leisurely lunch at an uptown restaurant, that was as good as the previous night's French Quarter dining. James insisted on paying for it. James presented us with the much sought-after tickets to the ball which would be in the Convention Center, only a few blocks from our hotel. The Krewe's parade would be in a week, but their ball was being held this weekend. He advised us to take a taxi or a ride-share as we would be prime targets for skullduggery in our formal evening wear, if we tried to walk to the ball venue.

We had barely entered the dance center, when James spirited Dani away for a drink and a dance. Dennis took me to a different bar nearer our pre-assigned table than the dance floor. It was exciting to see all the costumes and formal wear, although it seemed that Dani was sharing it more with James and Dennis than with me. It seemed like if she wasn't dancing and drinking with James, she was dancing with Dennis. I was beginning to think bad thoughts about the black evening of ten years ago when Dani had succumbed to the charms of C. Averill Hansen.

I finally managed to get a dance or two in with Dani during the band's second set following our arrival. When I mentioned her dalliance of ten years before, Dani assured me that this was nothing like that. We then went to one of the buffet tables to get a platefuls of light supper fare. As we ate, Dani seemed to give me the majority of her attention although she was occasionally distracted by something that James or Dennis said.

After our supper break, the dancing continued. It still seemed that it disproportionately favored our hosts, but at least I was getting a few dances in, and I had a few opportunities to tell her about my plans for her when we returned to our hotel.

As the four of us left the Convention Center, I knew things were approaching a climax. We walked four abreast with me on the end next to Dennis and Dani arm-in-arm with both Dennis and James. We stopped at the taxi stand. Danni seemed prepared to enter a taxi with Dennis and James.

"What's going on, Dani?" I asked.

She informed me, "Dennis and James wanted me to share a nightcap with them. I'll see you back at our hotel room!"

Trying to remain calm in the face of my summary dismissal, I inquired, "When, Dani?"

She replied, "In a while, probably just one drink!" as she sat next to James in the back seat.

Dennis had already occupied the front seat. The taxi drove off, as Dani mouthed, 'Love you' through the taxi's rear window. I took another taxi back to the hotel.

When I got to the room, I texted her, "What's going on?"

Her reply text said, "Just having a goodbye drink with the guys. Will be back soon."

The minutes passed slowly. Finally, after twenty minutes I sent another text, "When, Dani?"

She replied momentarily, "Having a second drink. Will still be a while."

What the fuck? I was getting really irritated. It seemed like déjà vu. As a last resort, I texted, "Where R U?"

It took her a minute or two to reply, although it seemed longer, "Still at bar. If you're tired, you can go to bed before I get back."

Why did that sound like, "C U in the morning!" I couldn't believe she was doing it again, this time with two guys. From the in-room bar, I fixed myself a highball. I chugged it and went to bed, having already undressed and showered. I awoke about 7:30 and no Dani. I decided to go to the airport alone, eat breakfast at the airport, and check in. I didn't want to sit next to her on the flight back to Dallas. I would say I was pissed, but that would be an understatement. The first time this happened, I was hurt. This time I was angry.

Just before the plane door was closed, a breathless Dani entered. She was seated several rows behind me. She gave me a very sad look as she passed. At least she wasn't treating her exploits as nothing.

Once the plane was in the air, she came up to my row and handed me a note. The note said, "I'm so sorry. Please, please join me in the rear of the plane. I love you. Dani."

Did she really think we could fix things up in the brief time it took to fly to Dallas from New Orleans. I wrote a return note, "Please understand, Dani. I don't even want to share a ride with you to what was once our loving home. This is a simple re-run of ten years ago with a more tragic outcome because of the children. We both know the facts. I need some time alone to decide what my course of action is. You gave up the right to have any say in that ten years ago. To say that I am angered by your betrayal would be a gross understatement. I am doubtful we can come back from this one. I am doing my very best to control my outrage, but it is difficult. Please don't make the mistake of pushing it."

Dani

When I left Ray, arm-in-arm with James and Dennis, I knew I was pushing the limits. I hoped that ten years of fidelity and the bearing four children would be worth something. Meanwhile, I had to deal with my body telling me it wanted a big black cock between my legs. I couldn't believe how hot I was for these guys. I never doubted my love for Ray, but my lower level drive was to experience James and Dennis tonight. Tomorrow would take care of itself, although I knew it might be even more of a problem than the night with Avie a decade ago. There was no rational explanation for my behavior; what I had was an extremely strong urge to breed. Maybe I was in the throes of ovulation and stimulated by black male pheromones and the desire to be completely filled with a large, hot cock.

As soon as we were around the corner from the Convention Center, Dennis stopped the cab and joined James and me in the back seat. I began kissing the guys. They were willing participants as long as our progress to James's downtown apartment was not impeded. As I passionately kissed the guys alternating between James and Dennis, the taxi continued to James's apartment. I was enjoying a two-man assault on my virtue. As James removed my panties and stockings, Dennis pulled my dress down to my waist and removed my bra. I had never had both breasts sucked at the same time before; this was my first-time double. I was glad that the flight back to Dallas was early afternoon, as it meant more time to fully enjoy my two black studs. When the taxi arrived at James's apartment, I pulled my dress back up over my shoulder and gathered up all my undies, as I might want them for later, much later, use.

Inside James's apartment, Dennis unzipped my dress again, and I slid it off my shoulders, allowing it to slowly fall to the floor. I was as wet as I have ever been. I noticed a text from Ray. I quickly replied with a lie, "Just having a goodbye drink with the guys. Will be back soon." James picked me up and took me to his king-size bed, throwing me down in the middle. Quickly dropping his jacket, tie, and everything below the waist, he began rubbing his giant ten-inch manhood on my clit. I couldn't have been any hotter. He began to slide his massive organ into my ready love canal. It delightfully stretched me as he slowly penetrated me for the first time. When he touched my cervix, I had a convulsive climax.

He continued on as my vagi slowly adjusted to this maximal intrusion. Oh, God, did it feel good! I had never experienced anything like this! I was so hot and so full, it seemed like I was cumming on every second or third stroke, as I experienced body-shaking orgasm after body-shaking orgasm. He must have done me for over thirty minutes. It was the most thorough fucking I had ever had. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven, but there were still more delights to come.

I checked my phone and had received another inquiry from Ray. I quickly texted back, "Having a second drink. Will still be a while."

I considered it to be a little white lie. I would deal with any fallout tomorrow.

A completely nude Dennis began kissing my completely nude body. I couldn't believe my desire and arousal were rapidly rising to unprecedented levels. After James fucked me, I thought I would never want to be fucked again. A few minutes later, I was incredibly hungry for more cock. Dennis was intent on my anus. Ray wasn't a big fan of anal. I wasn't sure if Avie was the last violator of my poop chute or was it Ray? It didn't matter as I was looking forward to my first nine-inch rectal penetration.

Similar to what Avie had done all those years ago, Dennis cautiously probed new anal-rectal territory than returned to my kitty for more lubrication. It seemed to work well, as I felt little pain and much pleasure. I was really enjoying this rectal experience more than ever before. It was different from vaginal penetration, but still very, very enjoyable. As Dennis got into a rhythm, he pulled me up into the kneeling prison guard position. James took this opportunity to massage my boobs with his delightful fingers, and my mouth with his tongue. I completed my stimulation package by working on my clit, and soon I was experiencing convulsive climax after convulsive climax, and Dennis continued to ram his cock into my ass. It must have been close to thirty minutes of sexual stimulation beyond anything I had experienced before in my life. It seemed as if I was cumming over half the time. Finally, the guys left me to lie on the bed, panting, moaning, spasming, and experiencing the most delightful afterglow ever.

I had to sit up to drink the water James offered me, and Dennis took the opportunity to commence squeezing my boobs. I immediately felt it between my legs and I knew then that we had just begun a night that would be beyond any other. I was surprised when after climbing aboard Dennis's big black thing, James began probing my anus. Dennis had prepared me well, and James experienced only moderate resistance as he penetrated my anus and rectum.

Then began an experience beyond any other I had ever known. Double penetration took me beyond what I thought were my limits, once Dennis and James established a rhythm, I began experiencing orgasms on a level previously unknown to me. Not only were they huge beyond anything before but they were coming almost on top of each other. It wasn't quite continuous, but it certainly was continual. I would feel myself gathering for a climax. While I was still experiencing the aftershocks I would explode again with an intensity that was almost unbearable. Talk about rocking someone's world. Each of these climaxes was rocking me like I had never been rocked before. I was sure each time that I could never recover enough for another climax, and yet in only a few moments, I was experiencing another. I couldn't believe how they were working me over. I think this must have lasted twenty or thirty minutes until they filled both my lower holes and left me gasping and spasming prone on the bed.

When my breathing finally began to approach normal, James handed me a gin and tonic, smiling and saying, "It's gin that makes you want to sin."

The rest of the night was almost a blur of near-constant ecstasy. They spit-roasted me mouth and ass, followed by mouth and pussy. Then they double penetrated me again with James in my love canal and Dennis in my poop chute. Finally, as morning light came through the windows they gave me a two-in-one. Two big black cocks in my poor stretched pussy. It was incredible because of how much they stretched my pussy, and incredible because of the massive orgasms given up to me by their efforts.

I showered. The guys gave me a ride back to Ray's and my hotel. Time was running out on our flight back to Dallas. Ray had packed my bag but was nowhere to be seen. I could only assume he was at or on the way to the airport. I called a ride share, took a quick shower, and changed to attire more appropriate for a flight. Ray didn't even look at me as I hurried aboard the plane to my assigned seat near the rear of the plane. Once the plane was in the air I went forward to his row and handed him a note asking if he would like to sit with me near the rear of the plane.

He took the note, glanced at it, and then turned back to staring out the window.

A few minutes later, a stewardess handed me a note from Ray. It basically told me he didn't want to see me or talk to me. I was to back off and leave him alone. I knew that getting over what I had done wouldn't be easy.

Despite the warm feelings from my recent thorough fucking, I was beginning to have unpleasant feelings in my stomach. He was not going to make reconciliation easy. By the time I disembarked, he was nowhere to be seen. I hurried to baggage claim. There was no Ray. Since I had no idea where he had parked, I had to take a taxi home, as he had warned me in his unfortunately unambiguous note. This was beginning to look worse than my last indiscretion. I could only hope that he would be at home and willing to talk when I got there.

Ray

I had cheated the airline by taking a computer bag and a carry-on. Both were packed full of the clothes I would need in New Orleans. Because of this I was able to go straight from the gate to my car in short-term parking. I thought about what my next step should be. As far as I was concerned this was it. She had blown two chances. I didn't intend on there being a third. Unfortunately, there were the children to be considered. Dani had never wavered in her commitment to motherhood. It was too bad the same couldn't be said of her wifely obligations.

I thought through my options. It appeared to me that the only way forward for me having the access to my children that I felt was important to all of us was to maintain the fiction of a healthy marital relationship. I would give her an unlimited hall pass in an open marriage where I would have the same privileges. We would have to keep our affairs away from our household we could even occasionally have benefits. I wondered if she would be happy with an open marriage. I wouldn't be a good situation but it was the best I could do in the circumstances. I expected that she would be hot on the idea of reclaiming sex. I would simply explain that there was no need. She had declared an open marriage and I was okay with it if not particularly happy about it. I couldn't see any other way. It wasn't if she would cheat again, it was when.

She came in and said, "I'm so sorry, Ray. I was selfish and inconsiderate. Please forgive me."

I explained, "There is nothing to forgive. You wanted an open marriage and I'm willing to go along with it. I don't need to reclaim you, because you haven't violated the rules of an open marriage."

That apparently was unexpected. "I don't want an open marriage; I want you, Ray."

I said, "You can still have me; you just have to share and share alike!"

She replied, "Ray, I'm so sorry. Please, can't we go back to the way we were."

I had to tell her, "No, we can't. I have told you before, I can only love you twice. This would be the third time. I think an open marriage is the best we can do. It won't be the greatest for the children or for us, but I can see no alternative when I consider our current situation."

She continued, "But I love you, Ray! I want to be your one and only."

I said, "Dani, Dani, Dani! That's what I wanted too. But you stomped on that idea twice. I'm sorry, but you've run out of chances. An open marriage is the best I can come up with. Let me know if you come up with a better feasible solution."

She began to cry, "Baby, I just want it to be you and me."

I told her again, "That only works if the parties involved are in love. I can only love you twice. The coupon book is empty. You emptied it. I'm sorry, Dani, but we can't go back to that. I'm sure James and Dennis gave you a thorough fucking. I don't have any quick and easy fix for that. As far as I know, that can't be undone."

Her keening was almost heartbreaking, but then you can only break a heart so many times. My personal limit is two. There was no way that I could convince myself or that she could convince me that she wouldn't cheat again when the circumstances were just so. I couldn't even think of a life with the fidelity sword constantly over my head.

I thought that she was probably okay with an open marriage as long as it was one way. It was extending the privileges to me that she didn't like. I don't think she realized how important fidelity was to a truly intimate relationship. I couldn't imagine any other way. Maybe a more liberal-minded person could think of a possibility. Even if they did, I still wouldn't want to try it. I guess I am a little narrow-minded and set in my ways.

I didn't ask her if she had DP or not. I suspected she probably did. I had no interest in that. I didn't even know or care if her exploits in New Orleans were limited to two partners. I felt like we would either be using condoms going forward or be taking periodic STD tests. This was not a good solution but I could see nothing better. If we continued a civil at home relationships, we could hope that the children didn't suffer too much because of our lack of true intimacy. It would be unfortunate if they went through their adolescent years without their parents enjoying the intimacy of true love, but that's the cost of cheating. I somehow don't think our second time was ever quite as good as the first had been. It is easier to forgive than forget. I would still have a few good years left when the children were old enough to understand about a divorce. Until then I would have to be satisfied with occasional trysts away from home, and occasional sex with the slut living in my home. As long as I had the unconditional love of my children I could and would live with that.

It was a bit of a struggle but we both adjusted to the new normal. Our lovemaking was limited to the occasional night when we were both at home and in the mood. The rest of the time we carefully coordinated our schedules so that if one of us was stepping out or working late, the other would be there for the children. By doing this, we limited childcare to the occasional Friday or Saturday night when we both had other plans.

Epilog: Ray

When Marianne went off to college sixteen years later we relatively amicably divorced and I was finally free of the bitch. The house was almost paid off and we split the sales proceeds.

We were both in our early 50's and so still had some good years left. I was happy to see my progeny were four well-adjusted adults. The last few years together hadn't been the greatest life but they weren't the worst. It was sadly true that if Dani could just have done a better job of keeping her legs together it would have been so much better for both of us.

I sometimes wonder if I would have done better to lick my wounds and try to resume full marital relations with Dani, but then I remember knowing deep in my heart that it would only be a matter of time until she was cheating again. Even before our divorce, I had found a lady named Barbara. Babs and I became intimate and spent our golden years together. We never married, as it seemed that it would only complicate things when the remnants of our worldly goods were passed on to our children. That didn't stop us from having many good times with each other and with one or both sets of our children.

When Dani attended one of our children's wedding or graduation, there was usually a man with her; however, it seemed it was never the same man as at the previous event. Dani chose not to share her life with me; Babs seemed to appreciate our shared intimacy, even though we never formalized it with wedding vows. After a few years both sets of children proved their fecundity by adding grandchildren to our extended family. Once Babs and I were both retired, we spent a lot of our time visiting our grandchildren and traveling; it has made me very happy to share my life with her. As we have gotten older Babs and I don't trip the life fantastic so often as we once did; however, it is good to have a life partner that I can share anything and everything with.