Butterfly Bandages

The house was too big for one person, but its sentimental value meant it was much too priceless to sell. There were supposed to be kids, a dog maybe, and Zoe. But Zoe had been dead for three years and left behind a broken heart not open for children or any animals. Her clothes still hung in the closet, left untouched as though she'd slide open the door like she did every morning before work. And her favorite mug-the one with watercolor wildflowers-sat unused in the kitchen cabinet. It was as though Zoe the person was gone, but her ghost remained in perpetual torment, as her things could not be laid to rest.

Iris missed her wife. But after three years, she healed enough to get through the day without falling apart. During the first year, she'd lay in bed staring at the ceiling as though she were in a trance. But despite being unable to get rid of Zoe's things, she learned to laugh again, thanks to her best friend, Lucy, and her understanding coworkers at the hospital. She was a pharmacist and did well for herself, having been promoted to a managerial role the year before.

Her curly blonde hair was always kept up in a messy top knot, keeping her soft blue eyes free of strands while running around at work. Being on her feet kept her in decent shape-something Zoe used to admire whenever they'd make love. But these days, she felt broken down and sore, like life's heaviness was constantly draped over her shoulders.

Iris and Zoe bought their three bedroom bungalow right after they married with the intention of expanding their family as soon as it was feasible. But Zoe got caught up at work where she was an accountant. Late nights and early mornings strained their honeymoon phase, but Zoe always promised she'd sweep Iris off her feet once things calmed down.

One night after work, Zoe was murdered while walking to her car in an empty lot. The police said she refused to turn over her things to the mugger, leading to a fatal gunshot wound. Iris cursed her wife under her breath for being so selfish, then she admonished herself for thinking such a thing. If only she had just complied, Zoe would still be laying next to her as she mindlessly scrolled through her phone on the couch.

After an hour or so, a text popped up from Lucy. She wanted to know what the game plan was. Iris groaned, as she had spent a long day running around the hospital and wanted nothing more to sit in her empty living room and veg out.

Iris: No plan. I'm tired tonight.

Lucy: Great! I'm coming over with wine.

Iris laid her head on the cushion. There was no use resisting Lucy's company; in fact, it might be nice to have someone else in her home. Only twenty minutes later, Lucy knocked on the door with a cheap bottle of red and a package of grocery store cookies. They sat on pillows beside the coffee table and discussed their hellish weeks at work. Lucy was a full figured black haired beauty with perfect nails and the whitest teeth Iris had ever seen. They met freshman year in college fifteen years before at a party that got busted in less than an hour. The two girls ran out the back door and hid in an alleyway while a majority of partygoers got slapped with tickets. They'd been friends ever since.

"Did you think about my offer?" asked Lucy. She swirled her wine in slow circles as she anticipated an answer.

Iris reached for a broken cookie piece and shrugged. "I did, and though it's very considerate of you to set me up, I'm gonna have to pass. I'm not ready to date yet."

The thought of seeing someone romantically gave her knots in her stomach as though she had eaten something that didn't sit right. Of course she wanted to find love again, but she couldn't imagine such a thing. Not right now.

"Okay, but she's really sweet and totally your type." Lucy eyed her friend reaching in for another cookie piece. "You might as well just eat the whole damn thing."

"Don't judge me," laughed Iris. She swallowed the soft treat and chased it with a sip of the full-bodied wine. "No, I hear you, it's just... not yet."

Lucy's eyes softened as though she had seen many layers of Iris' grief. She reached for her hand and held it, stroking the soft skin with her thumb.

"You've come a long way. Zoe would be happy that you're living life and not rotting away in bed."

Her words caused a lump to form in Iris' throat. She gave a cough and looked away. "I know. I'm past all that now. But still, it's hard when everything is compared to how it used to be." She found her friend's gaze with dry eyes and smiled. "More wine?"

Lucy stayed until about 9:00 and left behind good spirits, though a steady rain had begun to fall. It was still somewhat early, and Iris decided to catch up on trashy TV since she had the next two days off. She poured herself another glass of wine and stretched out on the couch, ready to watch grown women argue over petty shit for the sake of ratings.

About an hour later, she began dozing off, when there was a quiet knock on the door. Her head snapped up and she wondered if it was real or a hallucination. She stayed still and listened, until a second knock came-this time a bit louder. By now, she had changed into her pajamas and bathrobe, which was quickly tied shut as she hesitantly walked towards the front door. It was late. Too late for visitors. Her heart pounded with anxiety-something that plagued her ever since the murder.

She swallowed hard as her hand found the knob, and she gave it a yank to reveal an apparition. With a gasp, she slammed the door shut and blinked rapidly in disbelief. Surely what she saw was all in her mind. A third knock caused her to flinch, and she trembled when reaching for the knob once more. When the opened door revealed a living, breathing Zoe, she stood in silence, confident that she would wake from a dream. It was so much like the ones she often had-rousing from them in a cold sweat.

"Hey peaches," said Zoe. She had obviously been walking in the rain, as her clothes were drenched. Her dark shoulder length hair hung wet like a mop head, tendrils now matted to her cheeks. She was always taller and stronger than Iris, but now she looked worn down and tired. Though she spoke with a smile, dark circles hung under her amber eyes that gave away a string of restless nights. "Can I come in?"

Iris backed up and watched the woman she buried step across the threshold and enter their home for the first time in three years. When she shut the door, the stillness of the air caused an unbearable tension. But after a moment, she let out a sob and embraced her, crying heavily into her shoulder.

"I know," whispered Zoe. "I know." She petted her wife's hair and held onto her with shaking fingers.

When Iris backed away, she couldn't speak. But her eyes asked how this could be possible. She touched Zoe's pale cheek and slid it to her chest, feeling the deep thump of her heart.

"Let's go sit in the kitchen," Zoe finally said with the point of a finger.

Iris led her into the back as if she were in a daze. When she sat across from her at the oval table, it was like it used to be when she'd come home from work, and they'd chat over a drink or dinner. The memory was crushing.

"Let me just explain everything," began Zoe as she dried her face off with a towel. "As you can see, I'm not dead."

Iris finally found the strength to speak, though it came out in a hoarse voice. "But I buried you, Zoe. I planned your funeral."

Zoe shook her head. "But was there a body? It was a closed casket right?"

The mortician said because of the wound, it would be best to leave the casket closed. But Iris never had any reason to suspect something other than sparing her soul than having to see her wife's murdered corpse. She gave a nod.

"Do you remember how I was working so much before everything? I found a trail in our records that led to discovering millions being embezzled from the company. But I wanted to get to the bottom of it. I linked it to my boss, Mr. Booth-remember him? Well, I went to the police to report it, but I guess what I didn't realize was that Mr. Booth had been stealing money on behalf of the Barino crime family. When I caught onto their scheme, I made some people very, very angry."

Iris couldn't believe what she was hearing. All this talk about embezzlement and the mafia was like a movie.

"The police told me I had two options," continued Zoe. "Either I could go into hiding, or stay here. But it was risky either way. I didn't want to put you in danger, so I faked my own death thinking you'd be safer without me."

"But... you just.." Iris' eyes watered. "I would have followed you anywhere, the mob be damned." She felt searing anger form in the pit of her stomach. "I thought I lost the love of my life in a senseless tragedy. And you're telling me you fooled me because you thought it was best? Best for me to think you died alone on cold asphalt?" With a huff, she stood from her chair and paced between counters until placing hands on the granite and shaking her head.

"I wasn't trying to fool you," said Zoe. "I did what I thought was the right thing to do."

Iris walked over to her chair and gripped the back until her knuckles turned white. The searing anger had morphed into a restrained rage that needed next to nothing to blow over. "And why are you out of hiding?"

"Did you read the news?" Zoe rested an elbow on the table. "The FBI brought down most of the Barino family. They won't be able to hurt me anymore."

Iris wiped away a hot tear on her cheek. For years, she had dreamed of this moment, but now that it was here, she couldn't help but feel somehow more empty than before. "So now what? You expect to come back into my life like nothing happened?"

"No," said Zoe. "Not at all. I came to see you and get a few things if that's okay. I figured you'd need some space." She put her hands up like she used to whenever Iris would get worked up. It was as if she were holding an invisible shield to deflect the brunt of her emotions. "Can I please just go pack a bag?"

With a sigh, Iris bowed her head as she leaned against the back of the chair. She bit the corner of her lip as she thought-or processed-everything that had transpired in the last twenty minutes. "Okay, but... please let me think about things alone when you're done."

After Zoe agreed, she walked up to the bedroom, floorboards creaking with every step of her wet boots. Iris followed and sat on the bed as she watched the closet door slide open, revealing itself as having been untouched.

"You haven't moved a thing," said Zoe, as she began stuffing a duffle bag with clothes.

Iris rested her cheek on one hand and looked to the carpet. "No. I haven't." Her coldness was icy and distant.

In a hurry, Zoe finished packing, breaking the silence with the sound of a zipper closing. She put the bag over her shoulder and hesitated, before dropping it and sitting next to Iris on the bed. "I'm sorry, baby," she sighed. "For everything. I don't expect for you to jump into my arms and go back to how things were. But I hope you know what I did was done so 'cause I love you too much to ask you to risk your life."

With a glance, Iris could see tenderness in Zoe's eyes, like when she used to comfort her when they were younger and penniless. When she'd say everything would be okay. But this was not okay. The shitty thing was, she wanted to jump into her arms, but how could she after finally finding some semblance of normalcy? What if she was taken away again? It would be too much for a heart patched up with butterfly bandages and memories.

"When are you off next?" asked Zoe.

Iris gave a sigh into the hand that cradled her face. "I'm off for the next two days."

After a brief silence, Zoe stirred in her seat. It seemed as though she was suppressing something. "Maybe... I could come see you? If you need more space, then I'll understand, but we could talk?"

"I'm not sure," said Iris. She thought about it for a moment, feeling torn between a yes and a no, then she gave a strained nod. "All right. Come around noon and we can sit down."

Zoe stood and reached for her bag with a groan. "Thank you. I'll go now, okay?"

"Wait, where are you staying?"

"I'm at the motel by that sushi place that made us both sick. Room seven at the top."

Iris shook her head. It was a crappy place in a crappy part of town. Everything in her wanted to invite Zoe to stay in her home. Their home. But she couldn't. She followed Zoe to the front door and said goodnight as she sent her long lost love out into the cold rain, feeling heartbroken all over again for being so withdrawn.

***

Iris didn't sleep. Not one bit. Everytime she was on the verge of drifting away, her head looked to the bedroom door to see if Zoe was there. She called Lucy in the middle of the night, who did nothing but listen. It felt as though there was no advice to be given in this situation besides waiting. But what was Iris waiting for?

The next morning, Lucy came over before work to talk some more. There was no wine, but strong coffee was had after a night of tossing and turning.

"I still can't believe it," said Lucy. "She just showed up out of the blue?"

Iris cradled her mug in both hands and nodded. "Mm-hmm." She didn't know what to say. Somehow she desired to take Zoe back and push her away at the same time. "What do I do, Lucy?"

Her friend rubbed her temple. "I don't know. I mean... do you still love her?"

The question hung in the air above their heads, waiting to strike like a thunderous cloud. Iris gave a shrug. "Of course, but, I feel like I don't know her anymore. I love who she was back when we were married. I feel like she betrayed me."

"Honey, some bad people were after her," said Lucy. "She didn't want you to get hurt."

"I hurt when I thought she died!" snapped Iris, her words coming out like a bite. She took a breath. "I'm sorry."

Lucy took her hand like she did the night before. "It's okay, it's a lot at once. Whatever you decide to do, I'm behind you. But... don't do anything without thinking about it first." She offered as much support as she could before heading to the office, leaving her friend to count down the hours until seeing Zoe again.

Iris cleaned from top to bottom, did a load of laundry, took out the trash, and drank more coffee while she tried not to dwell on negative feelings. Now that she knew Zoe was coming, she felt nervous. But she wasn't exactly sure what kind of nervousness it was. Excitement? Fear? Absolute agony from the unknown? It wasn't clear.

At 12:05, a brief knock was heard. She took a deep inhale followed by a bigger exhale and opened the door.

"Hey," breathed Zoe. She still looked tired, but significantly less wet than the night before. Her hair returned its natural highlights in the sunshine and she stood with a bit more assuredness.

Iris led her inside and they sat on opposite ends of the canvas couch waiting for the other to speak.

"Did you sleep all right?" Zoe finally asked.

"No." Iris crossed her arms. "Did you?"

"No."

A still silence followed and Zoe looked around the living room, still the same as she had left it. "Ah, Megan's bachelorette party." She pointed to a picture of a group of girls on the wall. "Remember when we invited that woman from the club to our hotel and she ended up being a stripper?"

Iris felt her pert lips give way to a soft smile and her arms loosened against her chest. "She gave a decent show before Sophia decided she was gonna sleep with her."

"Megan was so pissed," laughed Zoe. "But it was a good time. What's she up to now?"

Iris adjusted in her seat. "She had a baby last year. Another one on the way."

"Wow." Zoe raised her eyebrows. "Good for her."

For a few moments, Iris studied her old wife's striking features. Zoe's sharp jawline clenched as though she were anxious, and the highest point of her cheekbones were a tinge of crimson. She cleared her throat and looked to the floor. "Are you gonna tell me about your life these past three years?"

Zoe brought her hands together and her smile faded into a deep seriousness. "Sure. I suppose now that I'm out, I don't have to keep it a secret. I lived in a valleytown out in Montana. Got a job working at a tax office. Just... kept to myself mostly."

It was such a far cry from her previous life, Iris could hardly imagine it. She noticed Zoe playing with her wedding band and a twing was felt in her chest. "Did you wear that the whole time?"

"No. Well, I did. But not on my finger, since I was technically single. I wore it on a necklace everyday though."

The word "single" cut like a knife. Iris cleared her throat again. "Since you were "single" did you ever..."

"Not once." Zoe's voice was now gentle, like a zephyr against a still creek. "In my mind, I was still with you. But if you... I mean, I'd understand..."

Iris shook her head. "No, I haven't. Lucy's been trying to set me up, but I've not really been interested. I haven't been with anyone since that night you told me you'd take me to Paris."

The softness in Zoe's eyes was accentuated by the crease in her brow. She swallowed and nodded. "Yes, I remember. I said I would after I'd finished staying late at work." She scoffed. "I never should've gotten involved. It wasn't worth it-losing everything."

Iris felt like screaming at Zoe, but she could see how much regret lived in her face. But when she buried her three years earlier, she thought their story had finished.

"Zoe, when I thought you died, my whole world ended. Or at least, I thought it did. Eventually, I realized the world doesn't stop, and I had to move on. But the world seems to have stopped for you when you left. We're in such different places now."

A tear streaked Zoe's face and she wiped it away with the back of a hand. "I know. I guess I just needed to hear it come from your mouth before accepting it." She moved over until she was close enough to Iris to place a hand on her knee. "I want you to be happy. And if I can't make you happy anymore, then that's a reality I can't change. But I won't ever stop loving you, and that's something you can't change."

Iris could feel the warmth of her strong hands seep through the jeans she put on. She grit her teeth behind closed lips which soon began to quiver.

"Could I just ask for one thing?" whispered Zoe. "Can I take a picture of us? Just one."

Glancing over at the coffee table, Iris saw the photograph of the two of them when they were engaged. It was taken at the gardens during a light rain. Zoe held her with two arms and they were laughing. Really laughing. She leaned over and grabbed the wooden frame. "Take this," she said.

Zoe took the picture in her hands and studied it with a sigh. "Perfect. I loved that day." She looked back at Iris and smiled.

For a brief moment, there was a tension between them that had not yet been present. Iris felt her bosom rise and fall dramatically as her eyes found Zoe's perfectly plump cupid's bow.

Zoe placed the picture back onto the coffee table and turned her hips, a few fingers now stroking Iris' pale cheek. They traced the shape of the bone there and caressed the line of her jaw. When they settled on the back of her head, it was clear what was desired.

They moved in slowly, paced breaths the only thing now between them. Iris slid her hands up Zoe's chest and gripped her black t-shirt.

As their lips met, it was like everything melted away around them. There was no couch, or living room, or photograph of a once happy couple. It was only the reemergence of something that never truly left.

When Iris felt Zoe's tongue, her whole body shuddered. She gripped the fabric under her hands even tighter and felt her chest break apart as if her emotions had all become uncontained.

Zoe slid between her legs and pushed her onto her back. She thrusted into her with a familiar rhythm, causing them both to moan as their bodies pressed closer together.

It was just like that night Paris was promised, and Iris missed the intimacy more than anything else. But as racing thoughts entered her mind she questioned what she was doing. This was not the way to say goodbye. She pushed Zoe off with a pant and sat back up.

"No. I can't do this."

With heavy breaths, Zoe gave a reluctant nod. "Yeah, probably not the best idea." She took the photograph and slowly rose. "I should get going."

"What are you gonna do now?" asked Iris, her heart going a million miles an hour.

Zoe began walking to the front door. "Um, I think I'm gonna head out to Wyoming and start over somewhere. I just came to see you, and now I have so..." She turned around at the door and averted her eyes.

How would it be possible for Iris to part with the woman she loved? But she didn't know if she still loved her or if she loved who they used to be. Despite thinking she was protecting her heart, she felt it break as she met Zoe's glimmering eyes. And that kiss. It brought back so many feelings that wrapped themselves around her lungs and took away the pain that had settled there.

She took Zoe's arms and sighed. "I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to love again."

Zoe sucked her teeth in. "You are, Iris. But it's all right if you don't feel strong enough to love me again. I wasn't the easiest to love." She broke free from Iris' hands and took a step back. "But I love you. Take care of yourself, peaches." With a turn of the heel, she walked out the door, taking her ghost with her.

Iris stood unblinking for a few moments before crouching down and resting her head against her knees. Tears came with force and she suddenly felt as though she had just made a very foolish decision.

By the time the sun found the horizon, Iris was already in bed tortured by conflicting sentiments. She looked at her ring finger-naked-not by choice, but due to her profession. Though she kept her rings on the bedside table and wore them whenever she went out. Once Zoe was declared dead, their marriage was dissolved. All their hopes and dreams of happily ever after vanished like a passing thought.

She grabbed her rings and put them on her finger, feeling the comfort of their significance. But did it mean anything now? Both hands covered her eyes and she gave an audible groan. When she turned over to face the empty side of her bed, she shook her head. That kiss had held onto her proving that it wasn't senseless. She had to see her again to make sure.

***

The Railroad Motel was just as it sounded. Less than stellar lodgings next to a track that ran at all hours day and night. Iris pulled into the lot and looked for room number seven. It was in the corner on the second floor walkway next to a flickering bulb that drew in a single moth who appeared confused by the sporadic light. There was a soft glow seeping out from behind the curtains and she could feel her breath grow raspy as she held onto the steering wheel.

As she walked to the stairwell, a dog barked from behind one of the doors. It was deep and guttural, like its vibrations could be felt inside her chest. The blinking lights didn't help with the sense of foreboding, and she considered turning around and forgetting all about this. But when she rapped on the door, her feet stood firm as she waited to be greeted.

The door opened just a crack followed by an apprehensive pair of eyes that grew upon seeing her.

"Iris?" The door swung open all the way. Zoe was in a white tank top and undone jeans that had clearly been pulled on in a hurry to answer the late night knock.

"Are you gonna let me come in?" Iris didn't speak forcefully, but her words seemed to hold an element of melancholy.

Zoe took a step back and shut the door behind her. The room was small and ugly with its shades of pea green and brown. Two beds sat side by side-one used and the other's sheets lay undisturbed. But besides the bag she had packed the day before, along with the picture frame, there was almost nothing else. She sat on the edge of one of the beds and ran fingers through her hair.

"What are you doing here?"

Iris looked around. "Where's all your stuff?"

"I have nothing," said Zoe. "I left my things behind in Montana. I didn't want to keep anything that would remind me of being in hiding. So I'm starting over again."

Her words caused Iris to flinch and she reached into her bag. "I brought you something." She revealed Zoe's favorite mug with the wildflowers.

Zoe sighed and gave a wistful smile as she reached for it. "Thank you. I love this mug. Do you want to sit down?"

"I don't know," Iris answered without a breath. She stepped back towards the door.

A chuckle sounded and Zoe placed the mug on top of the nightstand. "Okay. You can just stand there then." She pointed to the tv which was mostly static. "I've been watching this for two days straight-can't get anything else in here. I went down to the front desk and the guy said 'they're looking into it'." She gave a humorous smile that Iris couldn't help but return. "Anyways, I'm gonna leave tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow?" Iris moved closer.

Zoe gave a nod. Her honeyed eyes were rich under the softness of the dim lamp. "Yeah. I've got a train ticket to Cheyenne. I was thinking... I don't want to stay in accounting. I knew a guy back in the valley who said he worked on a ranch that fed and housed the workers. Maybe I could be a ranch hand." She grinned and shook her head. "Wouldn't that be something?"

After a brief moment of consideration, Iris walked to the opposite bed to sit and face her old wife. Her body was tense and her hands clutched to the strap of her bag with dear life. She had never felt more confused. In this moment of vulnerability, she caught a glimpse of the old Zoe, whose tenderness could be felt along the skin like soft kisses made of cashmere.

"You were always ambitious," she said. "I'm certain once you put your mind to something, you can do it. Even if it's something as crazy as taming horses."

Zoe laughed and brought her hands together between her open knees. "Do you remember when we lived in that shitty apartment and you were scared of our neighbor who was always drunk yelling at everyone?"

"Yeah," replied Iris. "He seemed so angry all the time."

"He was angry." Zoe rubbed her lips together as if she were thinking. "One night when I came home from work. I saw that he was drunker than usual outside-stumbling and unable to sit still. I asked him if he needed help and for once, he didn't yell. He told me he just wanted to sleep. So I assisted him upstairs and took him home."

"You went inside his apartment?" gasped Iris.

"Yeah. And you wouldn't believe what I saw. Every room was covered in the most beautiful paintings and drawings. On canvas, and paper, and I even saw one painted directly onto the wall. But they were all of the same woman. Well, I put him in his chair and asked him who this woman was. All he said was 'the day my wife left this earth, I picked up the bottle and I haven't put it down since.'"

Iris felt a tickle in her throat. "Poor man. He lost the woman he loved and turned to that." She moved a bit closer in her seat. "Do you feel angry?"

"Yes," said Zoe without missing a beat. "But not at you-or anyone. I'm angry that I can't go back in time. So, I guess I have to keep moving forward, otherwise, I'll be stuck in the past like our old neighbor."

Gentleness filled the space between the old lovers, and Iris loosened her grip on her bag. "I didn't just come to bring you that mug."

Zoe looked, but said nothing.

"I've been thinking about this afternoon and... I can't deny that there was something between us. If it's okay with you, I'd like to try again."

"You want me to kiss you?" asked Zoe.

A nod was given in response.

After a few deep breaths, Zoe slowly rose from her bed and sat next to Iris, who turned to face her. She placed a hand on her cheek and looked into her eyes before bringing their lips together. It was deep and slow, like removing a spoon from a jar of blackstrap molasses.

Iris' heart was pounding through her chest, and she felt her fingertips drift to the ribbed fabric of Zoe's tank top. But after a minute, it was over.

Zoe kept her hand on Iris cheek and spoke in a shaky breath. "Did you feel it?"

As if she had stepped out of a reverie, Iris blinked as she came to her senses. But she had no words in response, and her fingers pulled Zoe into a kiss once more.

A train roared as it passed behind the motel, causing the walls and floors to shudder. Its horn was piercing, but neither woman seemed to mind.

Iris unclipped her bag and threw it on the floor at their feet. She sighed when she was stripped of her rain jacket, revealing a small pajama t-shirt she had not changed out of. Zoe's hand was felt sliding underneath, fingers brushing against her stiff nipples. In a moment of courage, she climbed on top of Zoe and straddled her, pulling her own t-shirt off.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" whispered Zoe.

Iris nodded silently once more and embraced her in an amorous kiss, their tongues swirling around one another, eager to explore elsewhere. She moaned when Zoe picked her up and laid her on the broken in bed, thrusting into her like she did hours earlier. But there was no hesitation now when holding her close.

As she kissed her neck, Zoe began to undo her jeans. She pulled them off over her ass and slid them to her knees followed by her now very damp underwear.

"Take them off all the way," said Iris. I want to feel you against me."

Zoe did as she said until she lay completely bare. Before returning to the bed, she stripped to nothing, revealing a firm stomach and round breasts. Her shoulders were large-perfect for a ranch hand, and her legs were long and slender. She crawled between Iris' knees and moaned as their throbbing wetness came together.

Iris' hands trembled against Zoe's flushed chest. "Please touch me," she sighed. When two fingers entered her, she cried out and spread her legs further. In a perfect rhythm that worked in step with her pounding heart, she could feel Zoe. All of her. Inside and out. The sound of Zoe's panting in her ear and the hot breath against her neck caused her nails to dig into flesh. As Zoe moved faster, she wrapped both legs around hers and gasped.

"You feel so good, baby."

The tempo increased and the moans deepened until a low groan sounded as Iris pulsated against Zoe's palm. She held her old wife against her chest and brought her breath to calm. A sting was felt in her eye but she blinked it away before their gaze met again.

"My heart's beating so fast," whispered Zoe in her ear. "You still make me nervous." She looked up and brushed hair from Iris' eyes before giving her a brief kiss that drifted down her neck and chest, to her navel, and past her hips, until a tongue could be felt teasing her opening.

Iris let out a whimper as her legs were thrown over Zoe's shoulders. An old, but familiar pattern of long and fast licks sent her body into rapture and she let it be known while Zoe pinned her wrists down.

"Oh God, I'm already gonna come."

She wrapped her thighs around Zoe's head and moaned when her hands left her wrists and grabbed her ass, which was now lifted off the bed. The low hum coming from Zoe's lips sent her into a voiceless orgasm, though her body quivered before falling against the bed once more.

Zoe laid above her and rubbed a hand along her silhouette. She looked as if she was going to say something, but held back. Her fingers drifted from Iris' waist to her lips, which she traced lightly as if she were painting them red, then she gave a deep and passionate kiss. Suddenly, she was pushed onto her back and straddled again, this time by a more confident Iris. "You look good from this angle," she said, sliding hands up and down her thighs.

Iris had settled on her waist, and she reached behind her to bring a few fingers to Zoe's aching arousal. When she began to stroke it, a shudder was felt under her legs. She could see Zoe mouth the beginning of an expletive as a hand drifted up her abdomen to her breast, where it was grabbed with force.

"F-f-fuck Iris," stuttered Zoe. "You're so beautiful."

For a moment, Iris thought she felt her heart break all over again. But she realized something amidst the passion. Something incredible. And it scared her to think she ever thought otherwise.

The hand on her breast fell down to her dripping sex and fingers entered her again. She groaned, but her giving pleasure did not wane.

"Come with me," Zoe panted.

Iris felt a surge forming and she bit her lip as it grew. Their moans together sounded like a perfect harmony as they intertwined in between sharp breaths. As she heard Zoe calling out to a higher power, the buildup reached her throat, and she cried out once more before falling into Zoe's arms.

They lay in a sweaty, heavy breathing heap for a few moments; unmoving limbs wrapped around each other's trembling bodies.

"Thank you," Zoe said in a weak voice.

Iris looked up. "What for?"

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Just thank you." Her chest slowed and she ran fingers along the length of Iris' back as if nothing between them had really changed.

Iris traced her cheek and gave her a whispering kiss. "Come home."

Her eyes didn't open, but her brow creased as if she were holding something inside. She tightened her grip around Iris' body and exhaled slowly.

Still lingering against her lips, Iris breathed the words that lived inside her heart. "Come home to me." She pulled away to see if Zoe would look at her, but she could see a tear break free from behind closed eyes, which she wiped away with a finger.

"I'm sorry, Zoe. I don't know what I was thinking-I wasn't thinking. Everything happened so fast I just-"

"Let's not worry about the past, remember? Zoe's eyes opened and she spoke warmly. Let's forge a new beginning between us."

Another train approached causing the lamp and mug to vibrate on the table. The women looked to the walls in silence as it passed by. When the air became still once again, Iris caressed Zoe's face and sighed. "I love you."

Zoe's gaze softened and she tilted her head. "I love you too, peaches. Why don't you take some time off and I'll take you to Paris."

Iris smiled and felt the butterfly bandages fall away from her healing heart. "I'd like that. But first, let's go home."