Lupine Dreams Pt. 04 Ch. 11-13

Author's note: You definitely will need to have read the previous parts first, FYI. Enjoy (:

~~~

Chapter 11

[vibe track:... -... ]

"Hi I'm Jessica with Hearth and Home Home Products. I'm calling because our records indicate you recently purchased a Hearth and Home home product for your home. May I ask you a few questions about your experience with your Hearth and Home home product?"

Cameron had the script committed to memory after her first day. That was... three years ago now? Four? She wasn't sure. She didn't want to think about it. About anything. Which was hard, because there wasn't much else to do here.

It was something she needed to pay the bills. Obviously. That's why everyone was here, in their little cubicles, repeating the same inane lines over and over and over and over.

"Hi I'm Jessica with Hearth and Home Home Products. I'm calling because our records indicate you recently purchased a Hearth and Home home product for your home. May I ask you a few questions about your experience with your Hearth and Home home product?"

Maybe 1 in 80 got to the next step in the conversation tree. Women tended to get more responses though, even Cameron, who made no effort to change her normal voice -- which she wouldn't say was particularly filled with feminine charm.

It was hard for her mind not to wander here. She didn't like that. When her mind wandered, it tended to wander into dark places. To all the nights that didn't happen over the years. But today... it was like it was 10 times worse.

She just couldn't stop reliving them. The crack of her finger bones as they slammed into that asshole's face. The finality in the bang of a car door. A warm blanket on a shivering cold night. The voicemail from the hospital she would never delete. A stranger's arms around her after she said the words out loud so she could hear it, to make it real.

"Hi I'm Jessica with Hearth and Home Home Products. I'm calling because our records indicate you recently purchased a Hearth and Home home product for your home. May I ask you a few questions about your experience with your Hearth and Home home product?"

The day dragged along, each call adding up to only seconds, piling into minutes. Hardly ever finally equaling an hour, it seemed.

During a break, she ate some chips out of the vending machine. It was raining outside, she noticed. She couldn't hear it, not even the sound of raindrops on the roof. She couldn't hear anything in here.

As far as shitty jobs went, this one was fine. She'd chosen it because they didn't care what she wore or what she looked like. Today she was in old, ratty sweatpants and a T-shirt. She couldn't remember what the shirt was. She didn't feel like looking down to check. Didn't matter. She had on her Converse, one of only two pairs of shoes she owned. The others were from when she was little. They were in a box in her closet. They didn't fit anymore.

Quarterly performance reviews were kind of annoying when they rolled around, but even her bosses took this place about as seriously as she did.

Everyone knows why they're here, she thought as she walked back to her cubicle. She didn't recognize any of the faces. Definitely not their names. She'd never looked before.

Who had even done her last performance review?

Tyson? Or... was that the guy before him? Did he leave? Wait... or is my manager a woman?

Cameron didn't remember. There was only one thought she wanted in her head.

"Hi I'm Jessica with Hearth and Home Home Products. I'm calling because our records indicate you recently purchased a Hearth and Home home product for your home. May I ask you a few questions about your experience with your Hearth and Home home product?"

***

Mercifully, time slipped away from her. When she looked up, it was 8. Time to go.

Rain continued to come down outside. The calendar said September, but no one had told the weather. It was still hot, even in the rain.

Cameron slipped on her hoodie and pulled up the hood. She hated the way the fabric felt against her when it was hot and rainy. Like it was sticking to her, trapping her inside.

After she collapsed inside the Shitmobile, she still left the hood up. No rain to stick to her in here.

Well...

She looked up. Okay, it was raining a little in here, but just leaking at the seams.

Join the club.

Cameron didn't turn on music. She just sat in the seat, listening to the pitter patter of the rain on the top of her shitty car.

After a while, she lit a cigarette and took a drag, sighing.

Shitty car. Shitty job. All my shit is shit. A shitty mattress. Some shit in a shitty closet in a shitty apartment. And that's... that's it. A shitty life for a shitty piece of shit person.

She took another drag. The street looked like a painting -- red taillights, stoplights, and streetlights reflecting in the puddles made by a lazy rain.

If I died tomorrow, could Kendra afford to bury me? Probably not. She'd probably be just like me -- make juuuust a bit too much money to qualify for the county to pay for the burial, but not enough to actually do it on her own. Who knew this shitty job made me so rich.

Cameron cracked her window, letting out some of the smoke. She closed her eyes, focusing on the crisp hiss of the rain hitting the pavement.

Gram would miss me. She'd pay to bury me. Spring for a headstone, too, I bet. What would it say?

"Hi I'm Jessica with Hearth and Home Home Products. I'm calling because our records indicate you recently purchased a Hearth and Home home product for your home. May I ask you a few questions about your experience with your Hearth and Home home product?"

The cigarette was almost gone now. How long had she been sitting here?

I can't go back to the apartment. I... can't. I can't look at that shitty mattress, and that shitty closet full of shitty shit. And I can't stand the way Kendra looks at me when she thinks I'm not looking. I can't.

She ran her hand over her face, then tossed the stub of the cigarette out into a puddle.

Maybe she'd just stay here. She had no idea where she was going to go otherwise. Wouldn't be the first time she'd spent a night in the Shitmobile. Maybe she'd park somewhere out of the city, where no one would bother her. Or maybe that meant people would be more likely to bother her.

Scrolling aimlessly through Reddit didn't give her any answers, so she scrolled aimlessly through her contacts for a while instead before coming to a reluctant stop.

Cameron sighed and rested her head against the cool window, hovering a thumb over the virtual keyboard on her phone.

"Hi I'm Jessica with Hearth and Home Home Products. I'm calling because our records indicate you recently purchased a Hearth and Home home product for your home. May I ask you a few questions about your experience with your Hearth and Home home product?"

~~~

Chapter 12

Andrew sighed, sloppily scrawling out a B on the paper he was grading. Good job! Keep it up! He checked the name. Huh. Addison? He scribbled out the comments and replaced them. Just because you can do this stuff in your sleep doesn't mean you should! (;

He checked the time. 9:07.

How are there so many papers? When did I even assign this??

He'd been at this for four hours, but the stack of essays seemed to be multiplying. Hardcopies he found easier to write comments on, so he still printed them out, unlike most of his colleagues who just wrote their comments on a submitted Google doc.

Does that mean I'm old?

Da Vinci stirred on his lap, which he imagined probably meant "no, your age makes you old." Da Vinci could never resist a biting jibe, even if it meant having to briefly interrupt his 16 hours a day of rest.

The buzz of his phone interrupted the shitty old sci-fi movie he had on in the background while he graded. It was probably Paul, maybe Heather, checking in about lunch plans tomorrow or something.

Truthfully, he was a little ashamed that he hoped it was neither of them.

Why is my first thought that I'm hoping it's Mallory?

Picking up his phone, he saw it wasn't Paul. And it wasn't Heather.

And it wasn't Mal.

you free?

Cameron.

Andrew smiled in surprise. He was flattered. He really hadn't expected he'd ever hear from her again. Now that he had... he couldn't care less about the magic multiplying tower of ungraded papers. There was something about being around her that made him feel... calm. Or, at least less nervous.

She'd really been nothing but kind to him when she had no real reason to be.

Well, not really with what came out of her mouth... but... the things she actually did?

Picturing her default, stony deadpan, he couldn't resist making a dumb joke. Maybe she would laugh if no one could see her do it.

The basic plan, yeah, but you know how it is, the premium subscription costs extra (;

His grin spread wider thinking of the resting frown on her thin lips that made her soft face look so hard.

The response came almost immediately.

your place in 15

It was only a little after 9. She'd never messaged him before midnight when they'd chatted a bit on Tinder. He wasn't sure what to make of that.

Da Vinci took a couple of nudges to finally get the hint, reluctantly vacating the lap he'd so meticulously prepared for his evening nap so Andrew could get a look at himself in the mirror.

He was dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, and didn't smell terrific after his day at work. He quickly spread on a little more deodorant, then puttered around tidying up. Da Vinci gave him a curious look, no doubt a reminder that her place hadn't exactly been spotless. Nonetheless, he found he had some nervous energy to work off.

Why am I anxious? She's already been here, and we've already seen each other at our worst. Am I just nervous that a 23-year-old wants round two and I'm afraid the encore won't be as good?

Well if he hadn't been nervous about that before, he sure as hell was now.

A little less than 15 minutes later, his phone buzzed again.

here

Andrew took a deep breath and checked in with Da Vinci one more time. The cat had figured out something was up, so just to be safe, he'd retreated under the couch.

Thanks for the backup, buddy.

After another deep breath, Andrew swung open the door, and all at once felt the nervousness that had been building start to melt away.

Cameron was dressed as casually as possible in a T-shirt with some band name on it he didn't recognize and rolled-up old sweatpants sporting faded mud stains. The same dark gray hoodie he'd seen her in previously was pocked with even darker marks from the drizzle outside.

She hadn't done anything special with her hair -- it was all what he assumed was her natural jet black, and looked a little scraggly and greasy, like it hadn't been washed in a few days beyond the rain. It waved off to her right, hanging over the edge of the fade along the side of her head and threatening to drift in front of her eye. Her beat-up old backpack was hanging from one shoulder.

The wolf's fangs loomed at him from the top of her neck when she turned to face him, grinding out a cigarette next to the one he'd never cleaned off from when she was here last.

He couldn't help but smile. The first night she'd been here, she'd been dressed up, her hair done, makeup on. Maybe she didn't mind him seeing her like this? Or maybe she just didn't give a shit what anybody thought of how she looked. That was something he admired about everything she did.

Cameron didn't smile back. She just brushed past him and into the living room, dripping a little from the rain and showing no concern about tracking her wet shoes over his carpet. That didn't really bother him, honestly. That's what floors were for.

"You know, it's okay for you to knock," he said after he closed the door, trying to start things lightly.

But when he looked back to her, he had to hide how startled he was. It was immediately clear that she wasn't carrying herself with the same fuck-you confidence he'd seen her with before. Her eyes were darting to nothing in particular, and her hands were squirming in the pockets of her hoodie, moving around idly on their own like they couldn't stay still.

She started to take them both out, but abruptly kept her right in her hoodie pocket, lifting her left to her mouth to bite her fingernails nervously. Finally, her blue-gray eyes settled on Andrew, without meeting his gaze.

"So... couch or bedroom," she said. Her voice didn't have the edge to it he was used to hearing. Not that he was really used to hearing her at all, he supposed. But it sounded hoarse, quiet.

"Umm, are you sure? I could--"

"Hey, whatever, if you don't wanna fuck, I'll just go find somebody else." He could hear it better now -- an almost raspy quality to her voice, like it'd lost all of its conviction. He didn't get the sense that she really wanted to call his bluff, though, because she didn't move.

He held up his hands all the same. "No, of course I'd like, umm, that. I just thought..." He didn't want to get into what he thought, so he just gave in, trying to keep the disappointment out of his tone. "Well, anyway. Yeah. Bedroom."

She turned on her heel and strode into the bedroom while Andrew tried to figure out what was going on.

When I left her car that day, she seemed so much more... I don't know. Less closed off. Now it's like we're back to square one. She really came here just to fuck? Surely she must have better options.

He slowly followed her into his bedroom, where she was already stripping, driving other thoughts from his head. He watched as she pulled off her shirt, exposing her back to him.

A stunningly detailed lone wolf covered most of it, howling up at a moonless night, stars dotting the other side of her upper torso. They rippled as she tossed her shirt on the floor, interrupted only by her gray cotton bra.

Cameron noticed him staring, but she didn't stop. Andrew couldn't tell if it was because she didn't mind, or because she liked that he was watching... or maybe just because she didn't give a shit about anything he did. Her expression seemed to say nothing at all.

He kept his eyes on her as she pulled down her baggy sweatpants -- a little more deliberately than she probably needed to -- revealing her long, smooth legs. He was a sucker for legs like hers, and he felt himself start to get a little excited while he remembered what they'd felt like against his lips.

"Right, sorry, yeah." He realized he was just standing there and undid his own pants, dropping them to the floor.

Unlike his, her stare didn't linger on him. She sat on the edge of the bed instead, slumping in on herself almost, wearing only her underwear and socks with dirty soles. She didn't look impatient. He still couldn't tell what her expression said. Her eyes were focusing somewhere else entirely.

She doesn't look like someone just burning to fuck. She looks like someone who needs... something.

Andrew wasn't sure what, but he decided to do things his way and see where things went.

He stepped toward her and she seemed to snap back from whatever thoughts she was lost in, focusing on him. She started to turn around and crawl further onto the bed, but he stopped her, reaching out a hand to her shoulder. She flinched away from the contact and her head spun around to look at him.

"Hey, just, lie down, okay?" he said with a look that he hoped reminded her that she could trust him.

"Why?" She traded her inscrutable expression for a slightly annoyed one.

"Just... lie down on the bed, okay? On your front?"

She rolled her eyes. "Can we--"

"Hey. Cameron. Trust me, okay?"

Cameron sighed, resigned.

Thinking better of it, Andrew had another idea. "How about some music?"

She brightened a bit, cocking her head. "That... actually is a good idea," she said, hopping down.

He wasn't sure how to feel about the way she'd said that, like she was surprised he was capable of coming up with a good idea, but he chose to go with "amused."

Cameron unbuckled her pack and pulled out a laptop along with a couple of small speakers.

Guess you never know when a party's gonna break out.

She crouched easily, propped against the foot of his bed, browsing through... whatever she was browsing through, her brow furrowing and the corner of her mouth twitching in and out.

Maybe she was starting to make a little more sense to him. Just a little.

He thought back to the coffee she'd made for him at her place. The effort she'd clearly put in even though she didn't even drink the stuff. The kindness in her cold, steel eyes when she dropped him off. The way she'd stood there just now in his living room, like she was anxious about something.

There's always something going on in there, isn't there? Just beneath the surface. Only... I don't speak "Cameron" yet.

Music started playing, a lot louder than he thought those little speakers could manage. My neighbor is gonna love this, he thought, but kept his mouth shut. It wasn't overpowering. And the music wasn't exactly what he'd expected, different than what little he remembered from the night at Moonlight. That night it had been all about a pulsing beat with pop energy, made for dancing.

This was for... feeling. It still was some kind of electronic music, but more like... a gradually building wave.

Is that what she's looking for?

She set up the speakers on the dresser, aimed at the bed, then lay down on her stomach with her head at the base of a pillow.

As he climbed over the sheets, he almost laughed at how comically tense she seemed. She lay straight, her legs together and her head resting on her folded arms -- rigid.

She hadn't said anything about the lights this time, so up close, he could see the intricate tattoos looked even more impressive now -- the baying wolf on her back, the faded red dragon wrapping around her calf. They all must've had a special meaning.

Probably private ones.

He fought the urge to trace his fingers along them, but followed them with his eyes as he straddled her just above her knees -- high enough that he could still reach her shoulders easily, but not somewhere he didn't want to rub just yet.

Looking down, he could tell now that some of what he thought were tattoos weren't. They were little bruises, a few on her narrow hips and a few more on her ribs.

I would not be shocked if she were in a fight club, let's face it.

Gently, he started at her shoulders, working his fingers into her soft skin. He hadn't been surprised at how soft it felt the first time, but after seeing her at her apartment and how she carried herself, it felt even more like a privilege to be allowed to see any part of her that wasn't hardened and sharp.

She didn't flinch, but she was still tense as he kneaded down her back from her shoulder blades to her spine.

The music helped him keep in a steady rhythm, washing over both of them. It was loud enough to discourage talking, which he didn't love, but was probably part of the reason she thought it was a good idea in the first place.

He continued for two or three songs, gently massaging her back and gradually adding more pressure, looping lower each time.

As he moved up her back again, he could feel the difference from when he'd started. She was sinking into the bed, subtly moving her body to the music beneath his fingers. Neither of them had said a word.

Occasionally, he stole glances into the mirror next to the bed. She was facing it, but whenever he looked, her eyes were mostly closed. The few times they weren't, their steel-blue stared back at him with that same inscrutability.

Enjoying this now, he reveled in touching her body, in her warmth, in the minute reactions of her muscles and the tiniest, softest hairs along her skin.

When he pressed his thumbs into her lower back, she arched, moving with his hands, and he continued lower, over her matching cotton gray panties. He squeezed her small, firm rear, and just as the rest of her had loosened up a bit, her legs did too, spreading slightly at his touch.

He wasn't in any rush. Just kept touching her, massaging her, and kept feeling her relax more and more. Her breathing was so much slower, more regular than it had been. She wasn't asleep, he could tell that, but she was... is she comfortable?

Without totally knowing why, he leaned down and kissed each of the bruises on her hips as tenderly as he could. She didn't stop him, and he gave the same treatment to her ribs, but even more softly. He could feel her tense again at his lips against the injury and thought he'd made a mistake, but the tension dissipated as he did, and he felt her let out a deep sigh.

Trailing his tongue, he kissed back to the tight swell of her butt and worked his hand under her panties. She raised herself to help him slide them off, and he felt his boxers begin to strain.

He ran his hand along the backs of her smooth thighs and squeezed her ass again, before sliding a finger between her legs and underneath her. She angled herself to let him touch her, to gently rub her.

His finger fell into rhythm with the music, too, building on the wave he could feel in the song, trying to match it inside her. Her body responded, welcoming in his finger and slowly rocking against the bed, gyrating with the beat.

Her rear end stuck up into the air higher, and Andrew planted his lips against a taut cheek, licking as he did. He just wanted to taste her, to feel her skin.

Over the music, he heard her moan as his finger moved faster, and his mouth grazed lower when she angled herself steeper. Another moan escaped her lips, his tongue sliding up and down her slit. She still felt so relaxed, still moving to the slow, steady beat. Like she was in a trance -- one he didn't want to break.

His tongue dove into her from behind, and she pushed back against him, willing him to go further. He moved forward a little and moved a hand up to play with her clit. She shivered when he did, letting out a sound of relief that came from far down inside her. He wasn't sure it was a moan. It was something deeper.

And it made him moan into her in turn, overcome by her scent, by her taste, by how soft she felt compared to her hardened exterior, by how much she was seeming to enjoy this, to need this.

He did too. He hadn't realized it, not until now, but he needed it more than anything, this feeling -- this intimacy.

Cameron's hand was reaching behind her, clasping the back of his head, pressing him into her pussy that was pointed straight up. He kept going until he couldn't breathe while she jammed herself back into him. When he gasped for air, she dropped to the bed and turned over, hastily undoing her bra as she did and tossing it aside.

She was naked now, her glistening folds marked by about as much stubble as was on his face. Wolves charged across her torso, a pack on the prowl. Above them, her breasts were small handfuls -- perky and clear of any ink, her slightly darker nipples hard and pointed at him. Her head was propped on a couple of pillows, and she looked down her body at him, her chin down, hiding most of the wolf's mouth on her neck. Only the teeth were showing.

Quickly, he pulled down his boxers and kicked them off, springing his erection loose, and threw off the shirt he'd never gotten around to removing. Her expression didn't really change. She certainly wasn't reacting to his body the same as he was to hers. But he couldn't blame her for that, he supposed. He didn't have the body she did.

He kissed up her splayed leg, running a hand up the other, and returned to her waiting pussy. She raked her hand through his messy hair while he got to work, moaning again without any hint of restraint. He could feel himself finding another gear -- eager and excited -- as his hand grasped her breast, squeezing and giving her nipple a gentle pinch.

Her body convulsed at his touch, and his other hand played with her clit while he licked inside her, his mouth flush and dripping.

Rock-hard, his cock dangled under him while he ate Cameron out, indulging in every little taste of her. He was so hard that he was afraid he might just burst if he accidentally brushed against her leg. She must've seen it, because he felt her hands shift to his shoulders, beckoning him up.

Andrew moved off of her and she quickly sat up, grabbing hold of his cock with her slender fingers. He nearly burst right then.

No one else had touched him there since he'd separated from Mallory. He groaned with pleasure, trying to keep his balance with his knees on the bed.

He didn't have very long to focus on the sensation before Cameron's lips closed around his glans and slid down, all in one motion. He lowered a hand to the bed, almost overcome. She looked up again with raised eyebrows, but didn't let go. He didn't protest, so she continued, her tongue sliding along his shaft.

He was groaning continuously now, he knew, but he couldn't stop. She took more of him in until there was no more to take. He could feel her throat, feel her tongue egging him on even still. She slid back to take a breath, popping his cock out of her mouth.

Chancing a look down, he saw she had mostly the same expression she'd had all night, but more focused. Saliva and precum dangled from her lips and from his swollen dick, and she cleaned the length of his shaft before enveloping him back into her mouth.

She took his hand, the one not keeping him upright, and moved it to her head. He was grateful that it gave him something else to grip and he dug his fingers into her hair. No, she definitely hadn't washed it recently.

Cameron picked up the pace, ready to finish him and get back to her. He was so close, groaning out with every flick of her tongue and bob of her head.

"Ahhh, ahhh fuck, Cammmeronnn," he thought he groaned, though he couldn't have been sure in the moment. Every part of him was too focused on holding back the barely contained explosion straining to get out.

Whatever he'd said seemed to encourage her. At last, she eagerly pulled him in deep again and he felt the taut restraints inside him break all at once.

Andrew gripped her hair and felt himself thrust into her involuntarily, firing a jet of his cum into the back of her throat. She seemed a little caught off guard, sputtering at first, but didn't stop what she was doing, pulling another round out of him, then another.

She propped him up with one hand as he threatened to lose his balance, keeping her other on his cock while he emptied into her mouth. Her lips sealed around him while he gushed, and he felt her throat contract, swallowing everything he'd poured inside her.

The music pounded in his ears, heightening every sensation he was feeling to a level he couldn't describe. He was sure he was making some kind of noise, but had no idea what combination of pleasure and relief was coming out of his mouth.

Finally finished, he was only vaguely aware of her tongue grazing his tip, licking off the remains as she disengaged. The room was starting to spin, the beat still washing over him in waves that promised to carry him away.

It had been so long since any woman had done anything to him, much less... that. And--and he didn't have time to reflect on it now, shaking his head when he noticed her playing with herself idly as she leaned back at the top of the bed, waiting for him to recover.

He tried to be as quick about it as he could, but it took him longer than it should have. There was a lot to take in right now, in the heat of the moment.

But the sight of her -- the hair he'd mussed, her flushed cheeks, her slick, pink pussy -- he wanted her. Wanted to give her exactly what she wanted.

He returned his head to between her legs and felt them wrap around him. She was as eager as he was. He pulled her forward a little, getting her at the angle she'd been at before, and picked up where he'd left off -- hungrily devouring her pussy.

She started to moan immediately, and it didn't take long for him to do the same, sending vibrations up in shivers through her quivering body. One of his hands snaked up her soft skin, over the pack of wolves, and to her breast. He squeezed in rhythm with his mouth, alternating pinching her nipple with sucking on her clit, teasing it with his tongue.

Every time he did, she gave a cross between a yelp and a sigh, each one more intense, her body wriggling in a way that told him what to do -- and to keep going. One of her hands grasped at the sheets, gathering it up in a fist that got tighter the faster he went. Her other hand gripped his head, pressing it into her as if she might take off if she didn't hold him as an anchor.

Andrew kept going, picking up the pace with the music, building along with her. She pressed into him, and she tried to moan at the same time as she tried to breathe. This is what she wanted. And he admitted he wanted it, too. Needed it. She'd come to his bed looking so different, so beaten down, so apathetic.

I want to make it all go away, to help her forget whatever made her come here -- at least while she's with me.

He tweaked her nipple and his tongue flicked her clit more rapidly while he sucked in on her labia. Still on his knees, bent to her, he could feel his cock was hard again, every sensation of being buried between her legs pushing his drive to new heights.

The beat stacked alongside the orgasm she was straining to keep at bay. Her legs squeezed around his torso tighter, and her hand mashed into his head as he kept going faster -- leading her to the edge.

With another tease to her swollen clit, his mouth flush against her, Cameron's body shuddered, bucking into him just as the song topped out its crescendo. He kept going, moaning into her as he felt her unleash against him.

"Yeessssss Hennnnrrryyyyy," she hissed out, a death grip on his hair and her other hand scrambling for some part of the sheets to grab as her body jerked and arched.

He couldn't hold it anymore.

With a grunt, he spilled onto the bed and shot across her leg, some of his semen mixing with the beads of sweat on her hip. His arms shook as he tried to keep himself up -- staggering -- and he felt himself spurt one more time onto her thigh.

Her eyes opened for a moment and she looked down to see what was happening. But she had no reaction when he collapsed partway onto her, his arm across her body. He kept his weight off her as much as he could, and his head came to rest next to her, just higher than her belly button.

Cameron was wrapped up in her own ecstasy, maybe too much to care -- or maybe she just didn't really care anyway that he'd finished on her. She was breathing deeply, an arm stretched up to the top of the bed and climbing up the wall, her eyes closed.

Wow.

Andrew tried to recover his own breath, to get it back to a normal rhythm. The music kept going, fighting his attempt to slow down a bit everything inside. His eyes lingered on the relaxed woman next to him as her ragged breathing slowed, too.

He liked everything about her body: the way it seemed to make lines instead of curves, how deceivingly soft her skin was, the way it shined now with a sheen of sweat, how perfectly sized her petite breasts seemed to be for her body, how it normally looked like a tensed coil about to burst, yet how loose and free it was after an orgasm -- and her tattoos. He wanted to learn all of them, to get to know every inch of her.

Andrew's gaze rose to her face, resting now, looking calmer than he'd ever seen her.

You know, the like, two times I've seen her.

Still. There was no tension left.

He found the beauty in her face again, just as he had the first time they'd been together. Her small, stubby nose, her lips thin and perpetually prepared to drop into a frown -- he studied them all closely now, intimately, from the piercings that lined her eyebrows, ears, and the stud in her nose, to which strands of her hair stuck to her forehead when she was flushed and sweating.

Moving the arm draped across her torso, he slowly traced along her concave stomach, feeling the tiny hairs rise and follow his fingertips. She didn't flinch, and she didn't jerk away when he softly kissed the skin closest to his lips. Maybe she was asleep.

But as he started to move his leg away from hers, he felt her hand snap down to the top of his head again.

"Don't," she hissed in a sharp whisper.

He wasn't even sure at first that she'd said it. Her eyes were still closed, but her expression had changed. Her brow was furrowed, as if imploring something behind her eyelids.

Don't... what? Go?

Whatever it was, he stopped doing it. He held still instead and closed his eyes, basking in the warm glow of her body. Softly, he started to run his hand along the skin above her belly button, feeling it rise and fall in a steadier rhythm that was slower and slower compared to whatever song was playing.

Is this what she wanted?

If it was, he hadn't known he'd needed it so badly, too. Whatever... this was. He didn't really want to think about that now.

Andrew adjusted himself to the curve of her arm, her hand on his head still. For a moment, he thought he felt her thumb gently sliding back and forth in his hair, caressing him. If he had, it was just for a moment -- one neither of them wanted to end.

~~~

Chapter 13

[vibe track: bonfires - blue foundation]

Cameron jolted awake, cluing her in that she'd been asleep. She was finding it hard to breathe, like there was a weight closing in on her.

There wasn't. Not physically at least.

She could feel his leg intertwined with hers, his arm across her stomach. Her makeshift playlist had ended, and the only sound in the room was their breathing. Looking down, she saw his eyes closed, his body slowly rising and falling in the steady cadence of sleep.

Good.

Cameron needed time to think.

Whatever it was she hadn't gotten from Jorge or from Gram or from Kendra... she'd thought maybe she could get it here. From him.

Whatever "it" is.

For some reason, her mind rewound to when he'd kissed her bruises. It had made her tense at first, like it would hurt. But it hadn't. The physical feeling itself hadn't been especially good, but that wasn't what had made it feel so... gentle?

Even when it wasn't on a bruise, the way he touched her wasn't just a... lack of roughness. It was with something more. Something she couldn't quite describe, but hadn't felt before.

She noticed her hand begin to slide unconsciously through his messy brown hair, where it had remained for... however long they'd been here passed out on his bed. It was still dark outside, she could tell, so at least it wasn't morning yet.

Or would that be better? Then I could just leave.

The knuckles of her right hand were still raw from her assault on her door, the skin cracked where they'd been bleeding. She'd carefully reminded herself all night to tuck her chin as much as she could, too, so he couldn't see what bruising was left on her neck, beneath the wolf's jaws. She'd been afraid he might notice and ask questions.

But he hadn't. He didn't seem to ask the questions she didn't want to answer.

Now, the same hand moved of its own accord with a softness it wasn't used to, almost like it was practicing as it stroked his hair. The sensation felt alien to her, she realized, because she'd never done it before. Not once.

Cameron had never been in bed with someone she wanted to... keep touching, to keep them near. There had been people she liked being close to, but this was... different. None of this came naturally.

Does that say more about me, or the assholes I usually fuck?

She knew the answer to that.

But this guy -- Henry...

Her eyes lingered on his body while he slept next to her. He looked dumb -- naked and crumpled up on top of the sheets, his limp cock lying across her thigh. It wasn't particularly small, but was closer to that end than the biggest she'd seen. That didn't bother her, though. The rest of his body was nothing special either -- a guy in his 30s who didn't hit the gym. But he wasn't un-attractive.

He was certainly good with his tongue; he had that going for him at least.

His face looked more peaceful than it had the night he'd passed out on her mattress. More relaxed. None of the tightness to his features that seemed to be there even when he was making a stupid joke. She let her fingers glide through his hair again, tracing her thumb across the dark brown tangles. They matched his bottomless brown eyes.

Plus, that smile of his...

She started to feel the weight press down on her again.

This is too much. Jesus. I'm stroking some guy's head in his bed. What the fuck am I doing. This is gonna get way too complicated, way too quickly. No.

Her breathing was getting shallower, speeding up to match her thoughts. She had to move.

Gently, she started to extricate her leg from under his, trying her best not to wake him. But she knew it was a longshot, so she wasn't surprised when his eyes fluttered open. No longer needing to be careful, she pulled her hand away from his head and slid out from beneath him, rolling off the side of the bed.

He got up too -- slower, stealing wary glances at her.

Does he think I'm gonna like, get angry or something? Or...

They put on their underwear in an awkward silence until he cleared his throat.

"Umm... you can take a shower if you want."

Do I smell that bad? Or... is he self-conscious about finishing on me?

She looked down. His cum was mostly dried by now. Cameron didn't really care, honestly. She was just gonna wipe it off with a tissue or something and call it good.

Is a shower just a shower? Or does that mean I'm staying the night?

Cameron wasn't sure whether she thought that would be a bad thing or not yet. She just hadn't had time to figure out what she was feeling right now.

Her eyes instinctively flicked toward the door. Her escape hatch.

But she realized she hadn't said anything and was just standing there. "Yeah. Okay," she mumbled. She looked up to those waiting walnut eyes, trying to make an effort to at least meet the bare minimum of politeness he deserved. "Thanks."

His face relaxed and the makings of a smile started to spread. She darted her eyes away. She wasn't in the mood to see it right now, not before she could... sort some things out.

She trailed him to the bathroom, her phone and her shirt clutched in her hand, where he pulled out a clean towel and set it on the sink. There were like, five more neatly folded in the cabinet.

I only have one towel. And... I'm not even really sure where it came from. It might not actually be mine.

"There's uh, a fresh thing of soap under the sink, too, if you're somebody who doesn't like using someone else's soap."

... to clean your cum off me? She thought they were pretty well past that point.

"Okay. Thanks," was all she managed.

He gave her a weak smile, looking as awkward as she felt, and closed the door behind him as he left.

She let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding and took a seat on the toilet, relieving herself while she checked her phone. It immediately reminded her of the last time she'd been in this bathroom.

Why would I wanna relive that? Why the fuck did I come here?

Kendra had texted her at some point.

Comin back tonite?

Cameron sighed again, unprepared to answer, then flushed and turned on the shower.

She didn't want to go back. But it was different from just a few hours ago when she'd been sitting in her car, looking for anywhere else to go.

Stripping her underwear back off, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. The reflection of the woman standing there looked even shittier than she had when she'd come to his house.

Her bare body was pale, her hair a stark, black contrast. It looked terrible, matted and greasy from their activities and from days of not being washed. The bruises on her sides were smudged, small, dark circles sticking out even among the black ink around them. And her red, skinned knuckles on her right hand looked more painful than they felt.

It... it seems like that happened to another person. But it was only yesterday.

The reflection scowled at her, unimpressed by the skinny, dirty, confused and bruised girl with the tiny tits who glared back.

It took her a moment longer than it should have to turn away. The water was warm now, and she got in, shutting the sliding glass door behind her with a sigh at the relief brought by the hot water cascading down her body.

Cameron hadn't showered in days. The time she hadn't spent at work, at Gram's, or at the coroner's office, she'd spent on her mattress -- either high or wishing she was. She hadn't felt like doing anything else.

The water pouring off of her took with it days of grime and tears she didn't want to admit to. It felt... freeing. Like all the shit that had been sticking to her was draining away.

Closing her eyes, she washed shampoo into her hair under the showerhead, and her thoughts drifted back to the feeling of her fingers tangled up in his hair: His head was resting against her side, and she could feel his arm across her chest. He tried to get up--

Fuck. I told him not to.

She felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment, even though it had happened hours ago. She'd been half-unconscious, just lying there in the afterglow. She didn't usually want to do that. But the way he'd built her up, the way she'd orgasmed against his tongue...

That wasn't where her thoughts settled in, though. She'd told him not to go because... that was the part she'd come here for.

She'd had trouble admitting to herself why she'd texted him when she'd been sitting in her car, unsure of where she could safely escape. Now, it was more freeing than washing off the empty feelings of the past few days to finally be honest about it.

There was no way she could've gone back to face Kendra. Or to Gram. She could see in her mind's eye even now how they would have looked at her, like they were hiding their concern. But she could always see it reflected back in their faces, even more clearly than her pathetic reflection in the mirror: They saw the part of herself she hated, the part she was ashamed of -- the fragile part of her that, no matter how hard she worked to suffocate and kill it, seemed to only come back to the surface stronger and stay longer.

Usually, she used a guy like Jorge to fuck the weakness out of her, or distract her at least. And usually, it worked. Usually.

This time, though, it hadn't. It had only left her feeling emptier than ever, and made her realize how fucking alone she really was.

But Henry...

With her eyes shut, she could see him still -- the way his expression relaxed when he opened the front door, how he admired her when he thought she wasn't looking.

He looks at me like I'm... like I'm not broken. Even though he saw me when I was in fucking pieces.

She let herself remember his arms around her, pulling her as close as he dared that night, the night that didn't happen. He hadn't known her. She hadn't known him. They still didn't know each other, not really.

But she'd known -- or hoped, at least -- that this was the one place she wouldn't constantly be reminded of all the shame she was desperate to bury. And she was right.

Cameron finished her shower, more sure of what she wanted, and tapped out a text to Kendra when she got back out.

not coming back tonight.

She bit her lip.

at henry's.

There. No going back.

She dried herself off and threw on her panties and her shirt. They felt grimy on her scrubbed body now, but it was all she'd brought.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and ducked into his room to toss her phone and bra into her bag, then came back out to the kitchen.

In a fresh shirt and gym shorts, Henry was pouring food into a bowl for a cat that looked like it was having an existential crisis when it spotted her -- debating whether it was more important to run from her or to make sure Henry didn't fuck up its food order. It chose the food -- but kept a wary eye on her all the same.

Henry looked up as she entered the kitchen, his eyes starting at her shins and working their way higher up her freshly washed thighs.

She didn't really get his preoccupation with her legs, but she didn't mind it, either. Plenty of guys thought she was sexy, but the ones who weren't just looking for any willing piece of ass seemed more into her vibe as a whole or her tattoos or something. It was kind of a new, flattering feeling that he was so clearly attracted to a part of her that hadn't come out of a bottle or been drawn on by someone else.

Then that self-deprecating smile of his formed from a corner of his mouth across half his face. Hands down, that was what she liked most about him physically. It seemed to sum him up in one expression -- made her feel less anxious.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," she said.

They stood there for an awkward moment while his cat started to crunch on the food in its bowl.

"Oh, umm, this is Da Vinci, by the way." He pointed to the cat and Cameron leaned around the counter to get a look, then looked back at Henry. "He's a little skittish around new people."

"I can relate."

He laughed politely. He had a nice smile when he laughed, too, but it was different. Not as... private.

"You, uh, look like a cat guy." She meant it as a joke, but realized that at best, she had no fucking idea what it was supposed to mean, and at worst, it might sound like some kind of veiled insult.

This is why I shouldn't talk.

He just shrugged.

"Yeah I felt like a dog would've been too unconditionally supportive. I prefer a pet who's emotionally unavailable and silently judges me." Da Vinci looked back at him, but must've been too hungry to lodge much of a protest. Or maybe he just thought it was an accurate assessment.

He always seems to just brush off whatever dumb shit I say. Does anything actually bother him?

"I'm gonna take a quick shower, okay? You'll umm..." He looked everywhere but her eyes. "You'll still be here when I get out, right?"

She let the confusion show on her face. "Like... in the kitchen?"

Now he looked confused.

"N-no... never mind. I'll be quick -- promise." He smiled at her again and went off to the bathroom.

Did he mean... like he thought I was gonna leave while he was in the shower?

She looked back at him as the bathroom door shut, still completely unsure how to read him.

Da Vinci had apparently eaten his fill and now poked his head around the kitchen island to eye her suspiciously. She looked back at him, their eyes meeting. He was all black, the color of her hair.

As she heard the shower turn on, Cameron realized she hadn't eaten anything since that bag of chips on her break, and nothing before that. Surveying the counters next to the refrigerator, she spotted a fairly full bag of potato chips.

Bingo.

Da Vinci kept his eyes on her as she opened it up and stuffed a handful into her mouth. He licked his paw. She understood what Henry meant about silent judgment now.

"This is our little secret, okay?" she told the cat through a mouthful of chips as she reached back into the bag for more.

I didn't take that many; he probably won't notice, right?

She closed up the bag and ate the chips one by one this time from her hand, instead of like an animal, while she looked around the kitchen. There was a calendar on the wall with a goofy-looking family all dressed in the same outfits on some vacation or something. She flipped through the months -- all the same kind of thing. Henry wasn't in any of them. There were custom dates on the calendar, too. Birthdays, anniversaries.

Wiping the chip crumbs on her shirt, she opened a couple of cabinets. She found a cup and filled it up from the dispenser on the fridge, drinking all of it in one go.

The kitchen was clean, way cleaner than hers. No dirty dishes stacked anywhere, no months-old spills on the stove.

A sheaf of papers on the kitchen table caught her eye as being out of place, though. She sipped her refill more slowly, getting a closer look.

Divorce papers? He's not fucking divorced?? I thought whatsherfuck was his EX-wife?

Her gaze swung to the bathroom door. She didn't think she was angry with him. It's not like he'd lied exactly. They were getting a divorce, so they were separated. Cameron had even seen her at the club, dancing with other guys. Still...

I guess it's not the first time I've blown a married dude.

No. It wasn't that he was still married. That wasn't why her heart was beating faster now. It was the papers, the calendar... everything.

This guy has a whole life I have no fucking clue about. And when we were alone with each other for like a minute, it was awkward as fuck and we had absolutely nothing to say. What the fuck am I doing here. No wonder he was worried I wouldn't still be here when he got out. What normal person would be?

Cameron tried to calm herself down, closing her eyes. They snapped open again when she felt something against her leg.

The cat.

He rubbed along her bare feet, not bothering to look up at her as he wound back and forth between her legs. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again.

Okay. Calm down. This is what you do. Things are going too fast. I get it. But nothing has changed. He's the same person he was when he went into the bathroom, and so are you. Everything else is just noise. Focus on what you can control.

When she opened her eyes again, she did feel a little calmer. She'd told Kendra where she was so that this couldn't happen, so that she couldn't run away as soon as she managed to convince herself there was some reason to bolt.

Like I always do.

Da Vinci was done with her and sitting in front of her now, staring curiously.

Cameron forced herself to move toward the bedroom, leaving the empty glass on the counter. The shower was still running as she went into the room.

So much for quick.

She turned off the lights and crawled into the bed. He'd changed the sheets while she was in the shower, apparently. Settling under them, they felt clean and fresh against her skin. She couldn't make herself feel comfortable, but maybe if she pretended, then it'd be easier?

The shower turned off and she tensed more, instead.

Is he gonna wanna talk?

She clamped her eyes shut and lay still, facing the wall with that damn mirror opposite him as he came into the room. She heard him close the door and move around softly, not wanting to wake her up. The mattress dipped and creaked under his added weight as he climbed into the other side.

The bed was huge compared to hers. She had no idea what size hers was. The smallest, probably, whatever that was. This one could've fit three of her mattresses in it.

Silence descended after he settled in.

Is he gonna get closer?

Opening her eyes slightly, she realized she wanted him to.

They lay there in the quiet. Cameron wasn't sure how he ever fell asleep -- even the quiet seemed quiet out here. Nothing for her to focus on except her own thoughts.

After a few minutes, she felt him turn and start to slide hesitantly toward her. The patter of her heart quickened inside her chest. In the mirror, she could see the top of his shoulder sticking up over her, and watched as he carefully maneuvered a little closer still.

She kept her breathing as even as she could when his hand lightly touched her shoulder, making an extra effort to hold in her reflex to jerk away. She found it wasn't as difficult as she'd thought it would be as he gently ran his hand up and down, his fingertips barely grazing the skin of her arm, then down to her hip.

He was always so gentle and careful when he touched her. It was... calming. Comfortable.

From their first night together, she could tell he really savored touching her. He'd held her so easily then, a stranger in his bed. And earlier tonight, he'd looked as relaxed as she'd ever seen him when he was pressed against her, fast asleep, his arm and leg draped over her naked body.

With other people, Cameron always felt like their touch was an invasion that she could, at best, tolerate -- even Kendra's. But with him it felt... it felt like the hot water in the shower. Relaxing. Freeing. Like his caress could mute all the noise from the thoughts she didn't want to hear when she was trying to fall asleep.

Henry tucked his arm under her small breasts and moved a tiny bit closer, still leaving room between them, like he had on that first night. She appreciated that too. He seemed to know she didn't take the same pleasure in someone else's touch.

She slid back into him anyway, so she could feel his chest against her back, his warm breath on her hair. As she closed her eyes, he held her tighter.

In that moment, lit only by the shine of the full moon leaking through the curtains, she finally felt secure, held in the arms of someone she was confident gave a shit about her -- even if they barely knew one another outside of each other's bedrooms.

And for the first time in days, she no longer felt like there was a gaping hole inside her, bleeding out everything she had ever hated about herself.

The Cameron who settled into the pillow felt like the woman Henry seemed to think she was.

A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth and she let out a contented sigh -- her thoughts finally as quiet as the night around them.

~~~

Thank you so much for reading (: I really appreciate hearing from you all in the comments as we go along, especially seeing some of the same folks each time sharing their thoughts. This story was such a joy to write, but the best part by far has been getting to experience it all over again with you all (:

Arcadia