Hazed and Confused

All characters are fictional and over 18 years old.

It wasn't Charlotte's choice to go to university an hour away from her parent's home, and it definitely wasn't her choice to join a sorority. If she had it her way, Charlotte would've been in another state with fewer churches and less humidity. This was one of her more unrealistic fantasies considering that her parents met each other and got married at Vanderbilt. When her acceptance letter came in the mail, their nostalgic excitement far surpassed any personal pride that Charlotte felt.

As she walked through the long corridors of the sorority house, she couldn't shake the feeling that the excitement of others came at her expense. Groups of bubbly, beautiful women circled around her, complimented her hair or her dress, and floated away before Charlotte could get any of their names. She turned a corner towards the common room and was suddenly face-to-face with three sisters, each smiling as if they had never experienced sadness before.

"Hey!" The tallest one said, beaming like she had a halo above her head.

"Hi," Charlotte forced herself to look up at her. The tall one reached forward and pinched her cheek. The humiliation of having her cheek pinched as a grown woman rattled her soul, but she held her tongue.

"Aren't you just the cutest thing?" Her smile grew wider and her friends giggled.

"Thanks," Charlotte said. It was taking everything within her to not implode from embarrassment. Mercifully, the tall girl released her grip on her cheek and folded her hands neatly in front of her.

"We're on our way to church, do you want to come with?" she asked.

"I went this morning, sorry," Charlotte lied. She couldn't imagine a deeper hell than a Sunday service with these three.

"Wow, I wish I was as devoted as you," the tall girl put on a frown. "What's the reading today? Anything good?"

"Oh yeah, really good," Charlotte did her best to look excited. "I wouldn't want to spoil it for you."

A chorus of forced laughter echoed in the hallway. Charlotte took a deep breath and avoided the urge to physically cringe at the piercing giggles.

"Well, I guess we'll see you at the event tonight. It's always a lot of fun for the littles," the blonde girl next to the tall one said.

"What do you mean?" Charlotte said, but they were already floating away, whispering amongst themselves as they walked. Charlotte sighed and found a large, empty chair in the corner of the common room to throw herself into. She put in headphones, opened her computer, and began working on a programming assignment due later in this week. Data science was interesting enough, but her father had pretty much selected the major for her. Apparently, there weren't many new jobs in art history opening up.

"... these religious girls are so funny..."

"I can't imagine how that confession goes, 'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It felt nice to touch my clit, but will I go to hell?'"

Charlotte snapped out of her work and looked up to see two women sit at a table next to her. She made brief eye contact with one of them before quickly looking back at her computer. Charlotte peeked up for another glance; something was different about her. Besides loudly talking about sex in a public space, she visually stood out from the blonde, well-dressed, and always-smiling girls Charlotte had met. Her hair was reddish-brown and cut short above her shoulders. She had big, brown eyes and laugh lines on her cheeks. Instead of the modest sundresses and blouses most of the other girls wore, she opted for a cropped t-shirt of a band Charlotte didn't recognize and torn-up jeans. If she hadn't already announced her sexuality through her conversation, Charlotte probably could've made a good guess.

The woman stopped mid-sentence and noticed Charlotte looking at her. She raised her eyebrows and gave her a knowing smile before turning back to her friend.

"I just saw Grace walk by, I'm pretty sure she's going to church right now," she said. "She was literally begging me to buy her a vibrator last week." Her friend laughed and looked around the room, making sure Grace wasn't nearby. Charlotte did her best to act engrossed in her homework, but she was happy to hear that the cheek-pincher was getting a healthy dose of gossip.

"Did you get her one?" her friend asked.

"Of course I did. I showed her how to use it too," the brunette said in an audible whisper.

"Oh come on, you did not."

"I'm a full-service saleswoman," she shrugged, leaning back in her chair with a satisfied smirk. "You'd think she'd understand the concept of pressing a button and putting it where it feels good, but I don't think the sex education is too thorough down here."

Charlotte was blushing a deep shade of red just listening to the conversation. Was she not embarrassed to talk about these things in front of her? How could she not worry about Grace finding out that she was spreading gossip? Charlotte wasn't so naive to think that these things didn't happen behind closed doors, as her mother had thoroughly lectured her about avoiding them, but it was the first time she heard people talk so openly about such private matters.

Charlotte also realized that she didn't really understand how sex toys worked. She imagined the brunette girl at the front of a classroom of half-naked women, all eagerly paying attention to her demonstration. The brunette was sitting on the teacher's desk, legs spread and using a ruler to point out different erogenous zones.

Charlotte shook the thought away and looked up at the girl, hoping that she didn't notice how Charlotte was thinking about her. Thankfully, she was focused on her conversation and didn't seem to have the power of telepathy.

"I don't know why you bother with those girls, Jules," her friend said to her. Jules, Charlotte thought. That was her name, and she made sure to remember it.

"Some of them cum for the first time because of me," Jules said.

Charlotte looked up and saw Jules looking at her out of the corner of her eye as she spoke. Her embarrassment returned in a furious blaze of pink on her cheeks. Charlotte felt like everything that Jules said perfectly applied to her. Her entire sexual history could be summed up with a two-second kiss at prom, and that hadn't done much for her. Charlotte assumed that she'd eventually figure sex out with whoever she married, but her mind was drifting to unfamiliar places as Jules reminded her that she didn't know what an orgasm felt like.

"Oh so it's altruistic? You're providing a service to the world?" her friend laughed.

"Yes, out of the goodness of my heart," Jules dropped her voice into a fake Southern accent. Charlotte smiled and Jules' friend laughed harder.

"There is something magical to it, though," Jules said, getting serious again. "Imagine you're a goody-two-shoes from a nice, God-fearing family."

Charlotte raised her eyebrows. She didn't have to do much fantasizing on this one.

"You come to college thinking that you're gonna find your husband and have a beautiful wedding in the university chapel with all your new best friends as bridesmaids. It takes you a minute to realize that there are far less boys looking for wives than girls looking for husbands," Jules said.

"Didn't take me long," her friend agreed.

"Right. And then your fantasy is shattered by a bad boyfriend or enough experiences with assholes, which creates a really messy identity spiral," Jules said.

"And that's where you step in..." her friend prompted.

"Oh, I don't do anything. They come to me," Jules said, a satisfied smirk on her face. Charlotte looked up again from her computer with a surprised look on her face.

"Sure they do," her friend rolled her eyes.

"I mean, why wouldn't they? I'm not a threat," Jules said sarcastically. "How many times have you seen a random dick date like three, four girls from our sorority?"

"I'm pretty sure Grace's ex is dating one of her best friends now."

"Exactly. They confide in me because they know I'm not gonna use their failing relationship against them and fuck the same guy that destroyed their fantasy. And I give really good advice, you know that, Marie," Jules said with a suggestive tone.

Charlotte felt a warm, heavy pulse between her legs. She flexed her thighs tight to try and stop the feeling, but that only intensified it. Charlotte's imagination drifted again, picturing Marie splayed across a bed, her thighs open and her expression soft. Her dark skin glistened with sweat and sunlight, her bright blue eyes rolled back in pleasure. Jules had her lips to her ear and her fingers to her...

"Ok, I was different. I knew I was bisexual, I didn't need your dark magic to help me realize it," Marie argued, snapping Charlotte out of her daydream.

"But you did need it to get you off," Jules teased. Marie turned bright red and dropped her voice into a whisper.

"There's people here, Jules! We didn't even fuck! And my boyfriend..." Marie whispered angrily, looking over at Charlotte.

"Yeah, yeah. Charlie would hate to imagine you with another girl. That's disgusting! He'd be so angry!" Jules made a fake angry face, dropping her tone deep and masculine.

Charlotte let out a small laugh, barely an exhale. Her heart dropped when she heard Jules and Marie fall sent and felt their gaze on her. Thinking quickly, she forced another laugh and shook her head, pretending to be laughing at something on her computer. Long seconds passed before Jules and Maria turned their attention away from her and began talking in a hushed tone that Charlotte couldn't hear.

Charlotte pretended to do a bit more work before gathering her things and leaving the room. She felt two sets of eyes burn into her back as she hurried back to her dorm. As she walked again through the long hallway, anxiety flooded her system. What was she doing back there? Why was she so interested in such a lewd conversation? Did Jules realize that Charlotte was staring at her? What did an orgasm even feel like?

She tried to shake the last question from her mind. Why should sexual pleasure matter when she had no one to experience it with? Charlotte opened the door to her room and quickly closed it behind herself as if she was worried that bystanders could sense her perverted thoughts. Now alone, she felt adrenaline release its hold on her body. She looked in the mirror and saw sweat on her brow and neck. Her cream-colored skin was still flush with some combination of embarrassment and excitement.

"This is so stupid," Charlotte said to herself. She tied her hair back in a ponytail to get some heat off her neck and peeled her shirt off her shoulders. Cool air from an open window hit her hot skin, soothing it. Charlotte felt herself relax. She unbuttoned her jeans and slid them off, welcoming the breeze on her legs. This was what she needed: a quick cooldown before getting back to work. She unhooked her bra and tossed it into her laundry basket. Instant relief washed over her chest as the sweat began to evaporate from her skin. Finally, she hooked her thumbs into her underwear and slid them off her hips. Looking down, she recoiled at the sight of the completely soaked-through fabric. She ran her fingers across her vulva and felt a slick warmth coat her fingers.

The brief feeling of pleasure where she touched herself was overpowered by a stab of shame. What the fuck? Charlotte thought. Arousal wasn't completely foreign to her, but she normally felt it when she watched a sex scene in a movie or let her eyes wander at the beach. Charlotte felt dirty, both physically and in thought. All day, her mind was dominated by racy, sexual thoughts despite the absence of any interactions with men. Maybe her mother was right to warn her about the sexual impurities of college. She wiped her fingers quickly on her shirt and wrapped a towel around her chest.

Charlotte walked to the communal bathroom, praying that she wouldn't get stopped by anyone on the way to a much-needed shower. Thankfully, her path to an empty shower stall was clear. She stepped in and let the cold water hit her in the forehead. Gasping at the shock, Charlotte let the cold water run down her sizzling skin. Fresh adrenaline rushed into her bloodstream to clear the pent-up arousal. She scrubbed herself furiously, paying special attention to her inner thighs and vagina to wash away her wetness. Her fingertips slid from her opening to her clit, pressing deep into her sensitive flesh. She felt a catharsis start to build and exhaled a long, cleansing breath into the cold water. This was it, she was getting it out of her system so she could focus again. Again, she pressed her fingers into her super-heated flesh. The water pounded on her forehead and she barely felt the chill.

"Oh," Charlotte whispered into the stream. There was a pressure in her core that built every time she pressed her fingers against her clit. Natural instincts overrode her busy mind as she slipped a finger inside herself and felt the pressure concentrate on her fingertip. Her eyes flew open and she braced herself against the shower wall with her other hand. Experimentally, she curled her finger and felt pleasure spread like the glowing warmth of the rising sun. Charlotte withdrew her finger and exhaled slowly, smiling to herself. A flash of Jules and Marie twisted in white sheets appeared in her vision. She began to slide her finger back inside herself when she heard a nearby faucet turn on. Charlotte quickly withdrew her hand and turned her shower off, breathing softly. Her chest rose and fell as she recovered from the shock of cold water and unexpected pleasure.

Charlotte quickly toweled herself off, her heart beating fast. She felt like she needed to explore this later tonight, ideally in bed and away from wandering eyes and ears. When she opened her stall door and turned the corner, she found herself face-to-face with a towel-wrapped, short-haired brunette.

"Jules," Charlotte said in surprise. She felt equal parts of fear and excitement rush over her. Charlotte's eyes darted between her exposed collarbone to her cleavage to her piercing eyes. Jules narrowed her eyes suspiciously as a wry smile spread across her lips.

"It's Julia," she said. Charlotte opened her mouth to say something, but the words evaporated before they could form.

"Have we met before?" Jules asked.

"No, sorry, must be someone else..." Charlotte's words spilled out of her mouth. She tried to move to the side, but Jules held her hand up.

"Wait, I do know you! You're the girl who was sitting in the corner of the common room earlier," Jules said. "We were being that loud, huh?"

"Well, loud enough to hear your name," Charlotte admitted. "And a couple other things." Jules let out a small laugh and leaned against a stall door with her arms crossed under her chest.

"Nothing incriminating, I hope?"

"Of course not. I forget everything as soon as I heard it," Charlotte said. She couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"That's good. I was worried I was gonna have to kill you," Jules teased. Charlotte laughed and felt her towel slip a little. She caught it and looked back up at Jules, who flicked her gaze from her chest back to her eyes.

"Sorry, I should've introduced myself before threatening your life. I'm Julia, but since you know me as Jules, you can stick with that," she stretched out a hand.

"Charlotte. I live right down the hall," she shook her hand. The formality of the touch felt weird considering her state of undress.

"Good to know," Jules said. "Considering the deer-in-headlights look on your face and the fact that I've never seen you before today, I take it you're a freshman?"

"Yeah," Charlotte blushed. "Is it that obvious?"

"I only recognize it 'cause I've lived it," Jules shrugged. "You'll get used to it all."

"Thanks," Charlotte said, suddenly feeling very hot again. "Um, well, have a good shower!"

"I'll do my best," Jules said. Charlotte gave her a weak smile and shuffled out the door.

***

Charlotte looked around the common room nervously. All the freshmen in the sorority were there, most wearing a pastel-colored dress and a put-on smile. She returned a wave to a girl she met at the initiation, but forgot the name of. Although she knew Jules wouldn't be here with the freshmen, she found herself searching the sea of pinks, purples, and whites for a woman dressed in black.

"Sisters!" a loud voice interrupted her scanning. The freshmen all turned to see an upperclassman holding a large silk bag at the front of the common room. "My name is Emily, and I'm your president. We've given you all lots of time to get to know each other, and we've all gotten to know you. Today, y'all get to take the next step in your sisterhood by linking up with a mentor... welcome to the Big Little Ceremony!"

The group of freshmen clapped and cheered while Emily began passing around the silk bag.

"All healthy relationships start with trust. To show that you trust the sisters of Alpha Phi, you're going to grab a blindfold, put it on, and await further instructions," she said.

Charlotte felt a pit in her stomach when the bag was passed to her. The sorority had been relatively tame so far, but she heard rumors about the hazing that went on at places like this. Apparently, Alpha Phi used to strip their initiates, cover them in honey and sprinkles, and make them sort the colors until each sister only had one color on them. With shaking hands, she grabbed a pink silk blindfold and tied it around her head, following the lead of the girls in front of her.

Charlotte shuffled her feet and rubbed her palms nervously as she waited in the dark. She heard some girls whispering about who they thought their Big was going to be, but Charlotte had no clue who would choose her. She hadn't exactly been a social butterfly in her first couple weeks. Her nerves only heightened when she heard the clanking of chains and the sound of footsteps around her. She jumped in surprise when a hand wrapped around her right wrist and brought it to her side. A fuzzy cuff was clamped around her wrist, and it was clear that the other was connected to her Big. For a second, Charlotte's heart soared. Could it be Jules? Or even Marie?

"Alright sisters, let's drop those blindfolds, pop those corks, and meet your new best friend!" Emily shouted. Charlotte felt a hand loosen her blindfold and heard champagne corks pop all around the room. She blinked a few times to readjust her sight and looked up to see Grace staring down at her with a massive bottle of champagne in hand.

"Hey cutie," the tall blonde said, her voice piercingly high.

"Hi," Charlotte said, her heart sinking. She quickly looked around the room to see if Jules was here. She spotted Marie in the corner hugging her Little, but didn't see Jules anywhere.

"Welcome to Champagne and Shackles! Littles, y'all take on a debt to your big sisters. This debt must be paid with a completely empty champagne bottle," Emily held up a key in the front of the room. "Until then, take some time to get to know each other, pass the bottle between y'all, and have fun!"

Conversation erupted between the shackled pairs. Awkward hugs, laughter, and introductions echoed around her.

"I'm Grace, do you remember me from before?" Grace smiled down at Charlotte. She wanted to tell her that, yes, it would be impossible to forget a woman so bitchy, but she swallowed her sarcasm.

"Yes, I'm Charlotte. It's nice to be um... shackled to you," Charlotte lifted her cuffed hand and gave it a shake, which lifted Grace's too. Grace giggled and passed the bottle of champagne to Charlotte.

"I don't drink," Grace said with a sinister smile. Charlotte looked into her eyes, then at the bottle. It was the largest bottle of wine she had ever seen. There was no way she would be able to finish it herself.

"Oh, um, I don't really either," Charlotte said weakly. Grace put on a pout and dropped her shoulders dramatically.

"Aw, really? That really stinks," Grace said. Charlotte looked around and saw every other pair laughing and passing their bottles back and forth. It was just her luck to get matched up with Grace.

"What do we do?" Charlotte asked. Grace shrugged her shoulders and sat down on a nearby couch, which yanked Charlotte down next to her.

"Didn't you listen to the rules, silly? We're locked together until the bottle's empty," Grace said. Charlotte narrowed her eyes at her, feeling anger build in her chest. Grace gave her a look that said, "You have no power here." Charlotte sighed, knowing that she was right. She slumped back into the couch, took a big swig of champagne, and listened to the cheerful conversations around her.

"Alright, I have to pee," Grace said, nudging Charlotte after almost an hour of half-hearted sitting and drinking. She looked at the blonde with wide eyes. She couldn't be serious, could she?

"Can you get them to unlock us?"

"I think there's still a little bit left in there," Grace giggled. Charlotte rolled her eyes and let Grace drag her out of the room. She saw a shackled pair leave the bathroom, both doubled over in laughter. Charlotte felt a pang of jealousy watching everyone else have more fun than her.

Grace sat down on the toilet and waited for Charlotte to turn around before pulling her underwear down out of her dress.

"Why are you doing this? Did I do something to offend you?" Charlotte asked, feeling slightly courageous from the champagne. Grace didn't answer and used her shackled hand to grab a bit of toilet paper. Charlotte whipped around and tugged against the handcuff.

"You are not wiping yourself with my hand," Charlotte said firmly. Grace laughed, pulled her underwear up, and stood.

"My class was hazed really badly, you know," Grace said. Charlotte studied her face and saw legitimate pain behind her eyes.

"Oh," Charlotte said. "I'm sorry." She stopped tugging at the handcuff and felt her anger soften into empathy.

"You should check out the basement sometime. I think they still have the cages down there," Grace said. Charlotte's mouth opened in shock. She heard whispers about them, but she didn't think they were real. Charlotte twisted her hand in her cuff and squeezed Grace's hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Charlotte asked. Grace parted her lips, closed them, and shook Charlotte's hand off of hers.

"It's whatever, I don't care," Grace said. "Listen, if you don't want to drink, I know a little secret for emptying the bottle faster than anyone here," Grace held her hand open for the champagne. Charlotte looked at the toilet and smiled. It seemed like cheating, but Charlotte was very happy not to drink anymore. She was plenty drunk already, so she passed the bottle over.

Grace's lips twisted into a smile and she lifted the bottle far above Charlotte's head.

"What are you... WHAT THE FUCK?" Charlotte screamed as Grace emptied the bottle over her head, drenching her hair and dress with sweet, bubbly liquid. She pulled at the handcuff, but Grace held her in place until the last drop of champagne splashed against her forehead.

"Here," Grace held the bottle back out to Charlotte. "I think you need this to unlock us."

Charlotte blinked the alcohol out of her eyes and stared at Grace with clenched fists.

"You won't do anything," Grace said, a bored look on her face. She shook the bottle for Charlotte to take.

She breathed heavily, collected herself, then snatched the bottle out of her hand. Still dripping, Charlotte threw open the bathroom door and marched back into the common room, dragging Grace behind her. A few pairs of laughing sisters stopped and stared at her as she walked through the hallway. Charlotte walked straight up to Emily at the front of the room and pushed the bottle into her chest.

"It's empty," Charlotte said, her voice gruff. The laugher in the room quieted and Charlotte felt dozens of eyes fall on her. Emily's eyes widened in surprise and flickered over to Grace.

"I tried to stop her," Grace said with a sweet smile. Charlotte bit her tongue, teeth almost drawing blood. She refused to even look at Grace. Emily raised her eyebrows judgingly at Charlotte, but still reached forward and unlocked the fuzzy cuffs. Charlotte gave Emily a smile and stormed out of the room, hearing whispers and laughter echo through the hallway as she walked away.

Tears welled in her eyes and slipped free, drawing lazy lines down her cheeks. Her anger with Grace was overpowered by a deep self-loathing. She should've made a better effort to make friends. It was her fault that she was stuck with Grace. Why did she even think that joining a sorority was a good idea?

Charlotte grabbed her still-wet towel from her room and threw open the door to a random shower stall, not bothering to see if anyone was in there. She turned on the cold water and let it wash away her sweet, sticky forehead and cheeks. Every time she thought she was figuring something out, someone had to step in and push her back down. Charlotte thought that things would be different at college, but that was just another ridiculous fantasy.

She turned the water off and pressed the cold, damp towel to her skin. Charlotte could still smell the champagne in her hair, but she couldn't be bothered to care about it.

"Charlotte?" a voice echoed in the hallway outside the bathroom. Charlotte didn't answer. What was the point? After tonight, she could never show her face to these girls again. The door to the bathroom swung open and loud footsteps crossed through. Charlotte looked under her stall and saw dirty white shoes stomp across the tile until they reached her shower.

A white, fluffy towel, a black sweatshirt, and a pair of pajama pants slid under the door. One of the shoes tapped expectantly outside of the door. Charlotte reached down and grabbed the fresh towel. It was warm and freshly laundered. She dried herself off, put the clothes on, and opened the door.

"Come on," Jules said. She had her hair back in a loose ponytail and a massive t-shirt on. Her makeup had been scrubbed clean and her eyes looked tired, but she stood in front of Charlotte with an outstretched hand. Charlotte hesitated for a moment, wary to trust freely after being manipulated by Grace.

"I know what you're feeling," Jules said. "I'm in the same class as Grace and, well... I promise you that you don't want to be alone right now."

Charlotte thought back to the small bit of vulnerability that Grace revealed. Jules must've been through similar hazing if they were in the same class. And as much as she wanted to throw herself into bed, she knew that Jules was right. Charlotte reached out and took Jules' hand, who gave it a squeeze and led her out of the bathroom.

She was led up a flight of stairs to the top floor of the house. At the top of the staircase, Jules took out a key and unlocked the door, revealing a quiet hallway with only a few doors.

"Welcome to the penthouse," Jules said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She opened one of the doors to reveal a dorm room three times the size of Charlotte's. Large, leafy plants decorated the space and warm, yellow bulbs glowed softly from a few lamps. There was a large bed with messy sheets and a door to a balcony that had a beautiful view of campus.

"This is your room?" Charlotte asked. She stepped inside the room and stood awkwardly in the middle, unsure where to stand.

"Technically, no, but I do live here," Jules said. She opened the door to the balcony and pulled two chairs out to the deck. Jules reclined in one and propped her feet up on the balcony railing.

"There's a joint on the bedside table, can you grab it for me?" Jules asked over her shoulder. Charlotte went to her nightstand and found the requested joint sitting on top of a small leather book. She grabbed the weed and a lighter and brought them to Jules, who smiled in appreciation.

"I had to smuggle this stuff into the state, I can't believe it's illegal here," Jules said. She lit the end of the joint and took a few long puffs. Charlotte sat down in the chair next to her and stared out into the night.

"No pressure, I'm just being polite," Jules said, offering her the joint. Charlotte opened her mouth to say no, but she stopped herself. Her mother had instilled a deathly fear of drugs within her, but with the way the night was going, Charlotte figured that weed wouldn't make it much worse. She took the joint from Jules and inhaled through her lips, immediately coughing a cloud of smoke.

"First time?" Jules laughed. She took the joint back and passed Charlotte a water bottle, which she graciously drank from in between coughing fits.

"Yeah, first time," Charlotte laughed. "My mom would kill me if she saw this."

"I won't tattle," Jules smiled. She took another long inhale and let the smoke fade into the night.

"What did you mean when you said that this wasn't your room?" Charlotte asked.

"Technically, it's reserved for the chapter president, but Emily graciously gave it to me," Jules said. Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she passed the joint back to Charlotte.

"Oh yeah? Out of the goodness of her heart?" Charlotte asked. She took a much smaller inhale this time and passed the joint back with only a couple coughs.

"Well, there was this picture of her cheating on her boyfriend with her roommate at the time, and she was so appreciative that I showed it to her that she ended up giving me the nicest room in the house," Jules said.

"You blackmailed the head of the sorority?" Charlotte asked, her eyes wide.

"Blackmail? What a horrible accusation!" Jules put on a shocked expression. "The girls here just like to tell me things." She smiled at Charlotte and leaned back in her chair with her eyes closed. Charlotte did the same, feeling the cool night air and the out-of-state weed calm her down. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling of humiliation from earlier.

"How did you know what happened to me?" Charlotte asked. Jules opened her eyes and looked over at her, her eyes soft.

"Marie texted me. I told her that I thought you were cute after I saw you in the bathroom this afternoon and when she saw what happened, she figured I'd want to know..." Jules said.

"You think I'm cute?" Charlotte asked, completely ignoring the rest of what Jules was saying.

"Of course I do, who wouldn't? Plus, you fit the 'looks like they've never experienced sexual pleasure' aesthetic, which I have an unfortunate weakness for, " Jules said.

"Okay, you don't know that for sure," Charlotte defended herself weakly, her face starting to flush.

"Do you masturbate?" Jules asked.

Charlotte was stunned by how casual the question was. She thought back to her shower earlier today and the pleasure she felt. That wasn't masturbation, was it? She was just washing herself and it wasn't her fault that it happened to feel good.

"You've tried but it never quite clicked?" Jules interrupted Charlotte's thought spiral.

"Yeah," Charlotte admitted. She wasn't quite sure why she was sharing such intimate details with a relative stranger. Whenever her highschool friends talked about their sexual escapades, she felt like they were talking about an alien world.

"I've always found that so interesting. There's a lot of girls like you that feel aroused but just don't do anything about it," Jules said, bewildered. "How do you handle it? Being horny but not finding release?"

"I don't know. I guess I just wait for it to pass," Charlotte shrugged. She felt a spark run down her spine from the intensity of Jules' gaze. Charlotte felt warmth in her chest, neck, and thighs despite the cool evening air.

"And you feel satisfied with that?" Jules asked.

"Well... I wouldn't say I'm satisfied. I just kinda let the flames die down," Charlotte said. She felt her legs instinctively flex together as a flutter of arousal danced between her them. She pulled at the hem of Jules' sweatshirt, feeling hot. Was it the weed? No, it was the same feeling from this morning and from the shower.

"Do you ever wonder what happens when you stoke the flames instead?" Jules asked. Her tone was casual and inquisitive. The image of Jules as a teacher flashed in her mind again.

"What happens?" Charlotte asked. Jules smiled and stood. She circled around Charlotte and held the balcony door open back to her bedroom.

"Let me show you," Jules said. Charlotte swallowed nervously. She felt the intensity of the situation rush through her all at once.

"How do you know I'm, um, aroused?" Charlotte asked, the question itself an admission.

"Your cheeks are bright red, you're rubbing your thighs together, and you were daydreaming while we were talking," Jules laughed. She pointed out the evidence as if it was blatantly obvious.

"You're good at this," Charlotte admitted. Her embarrassment was quickly disappearing as curiosity surfaced.

"I haven't even started yet," Jules said with a smile. Charlotte stood and walked inside. Jules closed the door behind them and sat at the top of the bed. She lifted her massive t-shirt up around her hips, revealing that she was completely naked underneath the shirt. Charlotte froze. She kept eye contact with Jules, refusing to let herself look at her nudity. Her lips were parted in shock and her heartbeat started accelerating.

"This is a pussy. I think you have one too," Jules pushed her hips forward. Charlotte nodded once. She was too stunned to speak.

"Take a seat," Jules patted the bed next to her. "I'm not going to try and fuck you, don't worry."

Charlotte stayed frozen for a moment. She felt a mixture of relief and... disappointment? Not that she wanted to be fucked, or really knew what that entailed with a woman, but Jules drawing an educational line through the sexual tension only made Charlotte's mind race faster. She approached the bed and sat down with her legs crossed, facing Jules. They were a foot apart, but it felt like they were practically on top of each other.

"I'm sure someone in your life told you that masturbation was a sin?" Jules asked. Charlotte nodded, still afraid to look between her legs.

"There's actually nothing in the Bible that says that," Jules grabbed the leather book on her nightstand and lifted it up. Charlotte's jaw dropped.

"You're religious?" Charlotte asked, as if the Bible was crazier than the half-naked woman in front of her.

"It's complicated," Jules shrugged. "But I actually read the book, unlike most people down here."

Jules set the book back on the nightstand and turned her attention back to the lesson.

"There's nothing wrong with feeling good. We do all kinds of things that feel good. Food, music, sports, movies, shopping... there's so many ways to feel pleasure, but sex is singled out as the immoral one," Jules said. There was so much passion in her eyes, it didn't matter how many girls Jules probably gave this speech to, every word felt like it was made for Charlotte.

"Here's where things get a little radical, so I hope I don't lose you," Jules said with a smile. She reached a hand between her legs and slid two fingers up her sex.

"This is the clit," Jules said. "You can look, don't be shy," she rolled her eyes as Charlotte was clearly struggling to maintain eye contact. Charlotte allowed herself to look at Jules' pussy and felt something click in her mind, like a puzzle piece sliding into place. Something deep within her compelled her to reach out and touch the beautiful folds in front of her. Her skin looked soft and welcoming, slightly shining at her opening from arousal. She was neatly trimmed around her labia, but a patch of beautiful, curly brown hair covered her mons.

"It's pretty, your... um..." Charlotte stumbled over her words.

"My pussy? Thanks," Jules smiled, proudly framing her labia with her fingers. "As I was saying, the clit's sole purpose is pleasure, that's it. And if you believe that God creates all people, then he created all clits. Isn't that nice of him?" Jules asked. Charlotte recoiled a little at the mixture of religion and sex, but it was hard to disagree, especially with the masterpiece presented right in front of her.

"So as far as I'm concerned, doing this..." Jules slid two fingers up her vulva and pressed them against her clit, "Is showing appreciation for the body we were given. It's a form of worship, in its own way," Jules let out a soft exhale, an easy smile spreading across her face. But as soon as she started, she stopped. Jules lifted her hips and let her t-shirt fall down around her thighs. Charlotte looked up at her with confusion plastered on her face.

"That's it?" Charlotte asked. Jules shrugged her shoulders and leaned back on her hands.

"That's it. The physical mechanics are easy, you just touch yourself where it feels good. It's the mental barriers that trip you up," Jules said. Charlotte felt her words echo in her ears. She felt like she wanted to throw herself on top of Jules. She wanted her warmth and her touch, to feel the once-forbidden pleasure. It was like Charlotte was given the first stanza of a beautiful poem, and she needed to hear more.

"What about with someone else?" Charlotte asked. She felt sweat on her forehead and nerves in her chest.

"Well, I've never been with a man, so I don't know how helpful...."

"That's ok," Charlotte said a little too quickly. Jules raised an eyebrow and leaned forward. Her face was inches away from Charlotte's. She could smell Jules' lavender shampoo and intoxicating pheromones.

"I told you I wasn't going to have sex with you." Jules said. She put a warm hand on the side of Charlotte's face and ran a thumb over her cheek.

"You said you wouldn't try and fuck me," Charlotte whispered. The harsh word was foreign to her lips, but it felt right coming off the tongue.

"I can't, even if I'd like to," Jules said.

"Why not?"

"It wouldn't be right. Not after the night you had."

Charlotte pulled away slightly. She felt frustration bubble inside her throat.

"This isn't what you wanted? You gave me your clothes, comforted me, and showed me how to pleasure myself, but this is where you draw the line?" Charlotte asked. Her voice was thin with disbelief and her round cheeks had lost their color. Jules moved closer as Charlotte pulled away. She held Charlotte's cheek in her hand and moved their faces close.

"Trust me, you'd rather have me as the crazy lesbian who showed you how to masturbate and not the emotionally unavailable trainwreck that I know I am," Jules said.

"I'd rather have you as who you really are," Charlotte said. She saw Jules soften a little.

"But you don't know me," Jules said.

"Exactly. I'm a blank slate. You can show me whatever side you want and I clearly won't judge you for it. I'm still sitting right here after you just..." Charlotte trailed off, still finding it difficult to put the sexual display into words. "But I'm done having other people try to protect me over things that I don't need protection from."

"I pretend like I know a lot, but I honestly don't really know what I'm doing," Jules said after a long pause. "I know what I like, but..."

"I thought the physical mechanics were easy," Charlotte said. "You just... touch where it feels good." Charlotte saw Jules look at her lips, then focus back on her eyes. She was thinking about kissing her, Charlotte could tell. Her heart raced and her hands shook in anticipation. She looked into Jules' eyes and saw fear, far more than she felt herself. There was something in the way for Jules, just as there was something in the way of Charlotte finding pleasure for herself.

"I think your lips would feel good," Charlotte said. She gathered all the courage she had and put her hands on the sides of Jules' neck, holding her gently. Jules relaxed her shoulders as if a weight was taken off her back. Her eyes glimmered with their usual mischievous sparkle and Jules pressed her lips to Charlotte's. They fell into each other, lips interlocked and hands pressed into each other's hair. Charlotte was eager, kissing fast in a hurried tempo, but Jules calmed her down. Each kiss was slow and purposeful as if savoring her taste. She felt Jules tug at the hem of her sweatshirt. Her hands were on her hips, clearly ready to keep exploring, but awaiting orders.

"Anywhere," Charlotte whispered in between kisses. She felt Jules slide her hands up her stomach and ribs to her chest. Jules cupped her breasts softly and ran her thumbs across her nipples, sending a shiver straight down to her pussy. Her hands were firm, but gentle like an experienced masseuse. She coaxed the sweatshirt up to her chest and Charlotte finished the job, pulling it off her shoulders and tossing it to the floor. Jules broke their kiss and let her gaze fall on Charlotte's exposed skin. It was like she was being evaluated as a painting in a museum. Jules lowered her to her back and straddled her hips. Her shirt rode up around her thighs, giving Charlotte a small glimpse of her pussy. She kissed her neck and collarbone, each earning a soft exhale from Charlotte. Jules licked a long, slow line from her shoulder to her ear, biting the lobe gently at the top of her arc.

"That's nice," Charlotte breathed. She felt Jules smile in her ear and kiss her way down her chest, where she held a large handful of her breasts in each hand. Her lips and tongue circled one of her nipples, warm and soft and firm. Jules sucked gently and used her tongue to tease around her aroused flesh. Charlotte felt like a goddess being worshipped. Every inch of her skin was decorated with kisses and gentle touches. How could Jules not think she was good at this?

Charlotte felt one of Jules' hands slip between her legs and press into the thin pajamas covering her pussy. Jules kept her hand still as Charlotte instinctively pushed her hips into her fingers to increase the pressure. She felt the smile return on Jules' lips, which were suddenly on hers again, kissing deeply. Charlotte grinded against her hand, but she needed more. Jules clearly felt the same, as her fingertips teased against her waistband.

"Give me your hand," Jules said softly. Charlotte held her hand out to Jules, who took it and slid it underneath her pajamas. She pressed her fingers above Charlotte's and guided them through her folds with gentle pressure.

"This is your clit," Jules joked.

"Shut up," Charlotte giggled, which turned into a gasp when Jules applied pressure to the tips of her index and middle fingers. Intoxication flooded her veins. Her lips were sticky and she could feel herself sweat beneath the pajamas. Slow, coaxing circles around her clit flared her pleasure on each pass. Jules' hand worked to establish a rhythm, steady and circular. Their hands became one, in sync and working towards the same pleasure. Every time Charlotte felt one of Jules' digits slip through and press against her aroused flesh, she felt herself melt into a puddle of pleasure.

"I want to watch," Jules whispered. She withdrew her hand with fingers glistening from Charlotte's arousal. A spark of shame ignited in her chest at the mess she made, but it was quickly extinguished as Jules licked one of her fingers clean. She rubbed herself faster as Jules savored her taste. She saw Jules' eyes linger between her thighs as if hungry for more. Charlotte felt desired. She felt hot, so hot as a twitch of her fingers sent a pulse through her core.

"Oh," Charlotte moaned.

"That's it, don't stop," Jules smiled and kissed her again, this time deep and with an aggressive tongue. Charlotte moaned into her lips as she furiously circled her clit with two firm fingers. She tasted something musky and sweet on Jules' lips and realized it was her own arousal. Her pace quickened, her fingers danced with increased passion, and Jules wrapped herself around her. Twenty years of built-up pressure was one stroke away from a thunderous release.

"Is this... oh... Jules..." Charlotte gasped, her eyes wide and her legs shaking. Her first ever orgasm crashed against her hard, swallowing her completely. Her mind went blank as pleasure washed across every inch of her being. A deep, pulsing echo radiated from somewhere just beyond her clit and resonated all the way up to her head and down to her toes. She twitched in Jules' arms as aftershocks coursed through her veins.

"How was that?" Jules was back in her ear with a smile. Charlotte laughed, breathing heavy and blinking her eyes back to their normal state.

"Everything feels so fuzzy," Charlotte said. She felt her heartbeat in her clit against her fingers and a low vibration in her head and thighs. Jules traced small circles around her collarbone and breasts with lazy fingers as Charlotte recovered. She felt her breath gradually slow in time with Jules' and felt her senses come back to her. Charlotte began to withdraw her fingers from their resting place against her clit and felt a faint echo of pleasure from the disturbance, as if there was something beyond her bliss. Jules noticed the confused look on her face and laughed softly.

"That first feeling of complete rapture, it looks beautiful on you," Jules said. Charlotte blushed and looked up to stare into Jules' eyes.

"I think it would look nice on you too," Charlotte smiled. She moved her hands from her back to her hips, following the smooth curve of her body. It struck her how natural it felt to touch Jules. Normally she shied away from affection, but her hands couldn't stop running themselves over her fresh skin. Charlotte noticed the different textures of her body from the toned muscles of her back to the cushioned weight of her butt and thighs. Even the callouses on her hands and her bony ribs felt sensual to touch. Her hand traveled from her thigh to her stomach, disappearing underneath Jules' shirt. She wanted to see her body, to learn and explore more. Jules took the hint and pulled her shirt off in one almost complete motion. It got stuck on her neck and had to wiggle her way out of it. Charlotte laughed and smoothed over the messy hair on her head.

Imagining Jules naked was one thing, but seeing her spread across her sheets in the dim lighting felt otherworldly. The soft light lit her outer curves and traced a graceful outline for Charlotte to get lost in. She gently took Jules' right hand and laid it on top of hers, just as Jules did to her. Jules exhaled slowly and parted her thighs. Her gaze was soft and she trembled slightly in either nervousness or anticipation.

"Guide me," Charlotte whispered. She softened her hand and let Jules take control of it. She pushed it down her stomach to her waist, through her tuft of soft hair and landed on warm, slick skin. A jolt struck Charlotte in her own sex as she felt Jules. Guided by her hand, Charlotte ran her fingers in between her soft labia and around her opening, sticky with arousal. The feeling of her own fluids normally embarrassed her, but Charlotte felt an immediate attraction to the physical lust leaking out of Jules. She wanted to know what it smelled like, what it tasted like. Jules pressed against her knuckles and curled Charlotte's fingers inside of her, the same two that delivered her earth-shaking climax. Carefully, Charlotte pushed her fingers a little deeper, earning a smile from Jules.

"You don't need my help," Jules said. She closed her eyes and let her hand fall away, giving herself over to Charlotte. Without her hand, Charlotte felt a pang of panic, unsure what to do next. She wanted to bring Jules where Jules brought her, that feeling of complete rapture, but how could she pleasure someone that knew exactly how to pleasure themselves?

"Should I..." Charlotte started to say. She felt Jules shift her hips and sink Charlotte's fingers deeper, distracting her. Her mouth felt tacky and her lips were dry. She ran the tip of her tongue across her lips, staring at Jules' sex. Her body was telling her to go there, to sink her lips and tongue into the center of her pleasure.

"I'd like that," Jules whispered, following Charlotte's gaze. Charlotte gave her a shy smile. Their thoughts and desires were beginning to meld into one the more they explored each other. Encouraged, Charlotte carefully lowered herself down the bed while keeping her fingers curled gently within Jules, who parted her legs wide for her. She breathed in deeply and felt the heat of her arousal consume her. Feeling her with her hands was one thing, but the rapidly approaching reality of using her lips and tongue to pleasure another woman was surreal. But after her orgasm, Charlotte couldn't imagine anything besides further exploring this untapped world, even if she had to stumble aimlessly through it.

Carefully, as if worried about trampling roses in a garden, Charlotte parted her lips and pressed her tongue against the perfect pussy in front of her.

"Oh," they both gasped simultaneously, Jules in surprised pleasure and Charlotte in excitement. Charlotte looked up to see a big smile on Jules' face.

"What?" Charlotte asked. Jules shook her head like she was at a loss for words and Charlotte licked her again, quicker this time. Jules pushed her head back into the pillow and released a happy sigh. Charlotte felt a surge of pride, knowing she was doing something right, and focused her efforts on Jules' pleasure. She worked her fingers in a slow thrust as her tongue explored her delicate skin. Her taste was strong and provocative, its aroma challenging Charlotte to drink thoroughly of her essence. Jules sang a symphony of encouragement with different gasps and moans and expletives as Charlotte tried different strokes and pressures and tempos. She tried a long line up her vulva and an aggressive kiss on her clit with gentle suction. Jules' legs twitched hard in response and her hands flew into Charlotte's hair, holding her in place at her clit. Charlotte looked up, her lips wrapped around Jules' clit, and saw Jules breathing heavily with a wild look in her eyes.

"That one," Jules said, and Charlotte dutifully repeated her rhythm, sending Jules' head crashing back into her pillow. She smiled into her pussy, feeling like she found a hidden switch to a secret door in a bookcase. Led by Jules' hands, Charlotte licked and sucked and kissed Jules' clit with lustful hunger. She flexed her fingers and coaxed them in and out, audibly splashing as she curled them against her upper walls. Jules wrapped her legs around her back with crossed ankles and firm thighs. Charlotte was trapped in between her strong legs and fragrant pussy with nothing to do but accelerate towards the rapidly approaching climax. Moans vibrated in her ears, muffled by the thighs against her cheeks. Her whole body trembled with anticipation and after a brief moment of stillness, Charlotte felt an orgasm blossom against her lips and tongue. Jules covered her face with a pillow, screaming into the soft fabric as her body shook against Charlotte's head.

She felt Jules' body eventually relax and her legs release her from her muscle-bound prison. Charlotte took big mouthfuls of air, almost breathing as heavily as Jules was. Her face and fingers were soaked from Jules and her brow and cheeks were pink with exertion, but she felt like could've stayed between her thighs for hours.

"Come here," Jules whispered, her voice completely spent. Charlotte climbed up her body and smiled as Jules wiped her face clean with her hand. She pulled Charlotte into her chest and wrapped her arms around her.

"How did you know how to do that?" Jules asked.

"Trial and error," Charlotte laughed. It was the truth, even if it sounded silly.

"Wow," Jules chuckled. They both fell silent in the afterglow of the orgasm. There was a lot that could be said, and probably should be said, but those words could wait. Their legs intertwined and their fingers squeezed and caressed the soft curves of each other's bodies.

***

After an hour of relative silence, Charlotte peeled herself from Jules' chest and propped herself up on her hands. Jules opened her tired eyes, ready for whatever question Charlotte was gearing up to ask.

"Was that sex?" Charlotte asked. Jules laughed and kissed her on the cheek.

"What?" Charlotte demanded. "How am I supposed to know?"

"You're right, it's just a funny question," Jules said. "I guess it depends on why you want to define it."

"Well I was thinking that because if we had sex tonight, that would mean that I'm not straight. But I don't really know what counts as sex, so how do I know if I'm really gay?" Charlotte let the beginning of her sexuality scramble tumble out from her lips. Jules laughed again and put a comforting hand on Charlotte's arm.

"In that case, yes, that was sex," Jules said.

"Ok, yeah. So because we had sex, I'm a lesbian, like you are."

"I knew I was a lesbian before I had sex. I knew I wanted to fuck women and that I didn't want to fuck men, that's my sexuality," Jules explained. "Sexuality is internal, it's what guides the kind of sex and relationships you want to have. In your case, you went exploring and found the map along the way."

"Cool," Charlotte nodded. "So if I want to do this again, and the thought of doing it with a man isn't interesting, that would make me gay?"

"Yes," Jules affirmed. "Anything else?"

"What was it like for you when you first had sex?" Charlotte asked. Jules laughed again, and Charlotte was beginning to think that she was missing something.

"It was incredible. This cute, sexually-repressed Southern girl spent the better part of her evening with her lips between my legs," Jules said. Charlotte narrowed her eyes, trying to interpret the sarcastic tilt to her smile. Jules raised her eyebrows and looked her up and down, which completely stunned Charlotte.

"You're a virgin," Charlotte thought aloud. The realization hit her so powerfully that she couldn't stop it from coming out. "But I thought you and Marie..." Charlotte thought back to this morning and the fantasy she had about them in bed together. We didn't even fuck! Marie's words pressed into her mind.

"I was a virgin," Jules corrected her. She squeezed Charlotte's hip lovingly.

"But how? Why? I thought you slept with half the sorority. Why present yourself like that?" Charlotte asked. Everything she overheard about Jules involved her getting sexually involved with other girls. It was hard to believe that always stopped short of sex, just like she was about to do with Charlotte before they kissed.

"I... it's a long story," Jules sighed.

"I have time," Charlotte said. She got comfortable in the bed and looked into Jules' eyes.

"When I was a freshman, the sorority was at its height of hazing. There's kinda a cycle to it, where the upperclassmen made initiates do progressively more fucked up things 'cause they had it bad when they were freshmen. Anyways, it was right before initiation and our entire class was put into the cages in the basement. The president came down and announced the final trial, where two of us had to volunteer to serve as 'party favors' for that night's event," Jules explained.

"Party favors?" Charlotte asked.

"It was very heavily implied that whoever volunteered would be passed around by the upperclassmen. For sex," Jules added to make it clear for Charlotte.

"Oh," Charlotte whispered.

"Yeah. Unfortunately for me and Grace, there was a rumor going around that we were hooking up. When the president left to let us decide who to send up, all eyes fell on us. Grace got into a big fight with a couple of girls, but when the president returned, Grace and I were led out of the cages and stripped naked in front of everyone. Everyone was either too tired or scared to protest, which honestly made it more humiliating. We went upstairs and all the upperclassmen were in fancy dresses sipping champagne, laughing at us and whispering about all the things they were gonna do. Grace was shaking, like physically about to have a panic attack, so I went up to the president and offered to do literally anything they wanted for the entire night if they let Grace go back," Jules continued.

"Why'd you stand up for her?" Charlotte asked.

"I don't know. I knew I was gay, so I figured I could handle it better, even if I didn't have any real sexual experience. I ended up convincing the president, Grace was led back downstairs, and they started playing porn on a speaker just outside the basement door, which I thought was weird. Turns out, none of the sisters actually wanted to fuck me, they just wanted it to scare all the rest of the freshmen. They made me run around to get all sweaty and messed up my makeup to make it look like I got passed around before putting me back in the cages with the rest of them," Jules said.

"I'm so sorry," Charlotte whispered. She felt tears form in her eyes at the thought of the cruelty. It made her experience with Grace seem like friendly banter in comparison.

"It's ok. It fucked me up for a while, but I figured that I'd just lean into it. Everyone already thought that I was some crazy lesbian after that night, so why bother fighting it?" Jules shrugged. She reached over to wipe a tear out from Charlotte's cheek and continued.

"A few months later, every Greek life organization was shut down on campus after I found a few other people from different organizations to submit a big report with our experiences. I tried to get Grace to come with me to report it, but she pretended like she didn't know what I was talking about. I think she's still dealing with it, in her own way," Jules said. Charlotte nodded. She knew there was something Grace was hiding that made her lash out. Honestly, she found it hard to stay angry at Grace after hearing about her hazing.

"A bunch of our leadership was kicked out of the sorority and we were able to make some real change. The whole Champagne and Shackles incident has me rethinking how much progress we really made, though," Jules said.

"No, that was just one bad experience," Charlotte said. "Everyone else looked like they were really bonding. Grace just couldn't break the cycle that she was thrown into."

"Yeah," Jules agreed. "So, anyways, I guess I had my own trauma from that ordeal too. I got really close to a lot of people, but I couldn't be intimate with them. You helped me out of that, even if you didn't realize it, so thank you."

Charlotte pulled Jules in and kissed her. She held her tight and let the catharsis settle in. There were many more questions than answers in her head, but whatever the implications of this were, Charlotte was very happy to not be alone right now.

Jules broke the kiss after a few minutes and sat up with an energized smile, straddling Charlotte on the bed. She pulled at the waistband of Charlotte's borrowed pajamas and put her other hand on the side of her face, leaning in close. Charlotte felt her heartbeat pick up and the pulse return between her legs.

"These do look cute on you, but I'm gonna need them back," Jules said. "Should I take them off now and save you the laundry?"

Thank you for reading! This was my longest stand-alone story, and I appreciate your support and patience with my writing pace. As always, I look forward to reading your comments and messages!