A Walk in the Park

Just something I hope you enjoy. No explicit anything.

A Walk in the Park

Dave was cutting the front lawn of his small starter home. It wasn't a chore as he took pride in his home, and heck, most guys his age didn't have a starter house. Dave had earned this house through hard work and diligence. Though he appreciated both hard work and its rewards, Dave didn't work hard just to feel proud of himself; he had a wonderful wife and wanted to work hard for her and their future kids. It meant the world to him that Carol was proud of him.

Dave couldn't help smiling thinking of his wife. Carol was perfect for him, and he'd been good for her. When they'd met, she was suffering from a bad break up, having invested heavily in the wrong man. It took a while to gain her trust, then more to earn her heart. It had been hard going at first but the time, care, and love, he invested eventually won the day.

As he cut the small patch of grass between the side of the house and street, Dave noted a car drive past that had gone by before. A short while later as Dave was finishing up the front yard, he noticed it again. This time the car pulled to the cub right in front of him and stopped. Curious he peered inside.

The driver was resting his forehead on the steering wheel. Without noticing Dave, the driver straightened up, squared his shoulders, and exited the vehicle. The driver walked around the car to the sidewalk. Finally looking up while raising his hands to flag down the owner, he was surprised to find Dave already looking at him.

The driver looked at his feet, then remembering himself straightened up again. He took a step but only to the edge of the sidewalk as if the grass was electrified. Refusing to come forward his body language said he hoped the property owner would come talk to him.

Dave did just that, asking, "Can I help you?"

Dave realized the driver was surprised that he was talking to him. Dave intuited the driver was living a scene he'd played out in his mind several times yet found living it out jarring.

The driver winced as he looked Dave in the face stating, "I guess that's exactly what I've come here hoping for: your help. I'm at a loss, even though I'm the only one that has any idea what's going on." He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly. "There's a lot I don't know and a ton I need to learn. The one thing I do know is that I'm a flawed man." He paused, rubbing the back of his neck again. Clearly embarrassed he said, "I used to know your wife."

Dave stopped him by asking, "Do you want me to get Carol?"

"No!" the driver cut Dave off, cringing that his response was too extreme. "Not yet certainly. I need to square some things with you first. Then you can decide if you want to bother her."

Dave nodded like he actually understood, which he didn't. He watched the driver noting the man truly was stumped how to proceed. He noted the guy was still wincing too.

"Ah, Carol was a wonderful woman." The driver stiffened rushing to add, "A-And I'm sure still is." He shook his head dismayed how badly he was playing this out, "I, however, have failed to be a good man. I've just lost a woman who is very important to me." He stopped again, annoyed at himself and earnest to explain, "By lost I don't mean she was hit by a truck or anything, I mean I drove her crazy and then away. I was unworthy of her. She broke our engagement, and I was the problem." He winced again.

"Your wife," he emphasized the words, "was always very honest with me, and I really need someone who understands me to be honest with me again. I don't want to upset her or talk to her in any way that would upset you. In fact, if Carol ever does talk to me, I think it would be a good idea for you to be there." The driver had turned crimson, obviously humiliated while still thinking this the best course of action.

Dave could see the other man was stymied, so he spoke, "What's your name?"

The driver's wince grew deeper, reluctant to see the response his name might cause. "Jake. I'm Jake." Jake's head lowered towards his collar bones expecting a verbal barrage in response to admitting his identity.

Dave felt he should know something about Jake though nothing sprung to mind. "Let me see if I understand you, Jake. You think you have character flaws that my wife may recognize, and you want her to help you identify them?"

Jake's lowered hesitant eyebrows suddenly popped vertically with hope. He'd expected a much more negative response. "E-Exactly! I want to be better. I thought I was better this time, but it still went wrong. This gal wasn't like ... your wife. She wouldn't put up with what she thought was wrong and yanked the chain on our relationship early. I don't believe I would've given up on her as early as she gave up on me, especially being engaged, but I was still the one that caused her to react as she did. W-Which makes me a two-time loser." He stopped momentarily looking earnestly to Dave. "Though no longer a two-timing loser. I-I want to change before a third time cements the former description. I-I thought I'd made changes, but obviously ..." Jake's voice trailed off.

Dave asked incredulously, "Are you sure you want me there for a description of your flaws and your confession of how they cost you an engagement?"

Jake nodded determinedly, "Yes, I think it's very important you be there."

"Why?"

"Because I'm trying to be a good man. I know the way good women act sometimes, even if the guy has done them wrong. They can be sympathetic towards them. I don't know if your wife will be sympathetic towards me, I don't know if she'll see me or help me, but if she does I-I don't want to cause her problems."

Dave was confused.

Jake explained, "Sometimes the new guy can mistake sympathy for an old spark or something like that. I assure you there's no spark on Carol's part. I saw what I did to her, and I killed any feelings for me."

Dave now realized he'd stepped into quicksand. "You did something ... to Carol?"

Jake swallowed hard, deflating as he admitted, "I used to be engaged to your wife." Jake looked at Dave like he'd just taken a shot in the nose, "I cheated on Carol. The other gal was gorgeous, and I could have her. Just once was all either of us wanted, so I took my shot. It wasn't fair to Carol at all. I-It was a young man's mistake." Jake laughed ruefully adding, "It wasn't worth it."

The two men stared at each other for a moment before Jake added, "I guess we're about the same age, I see now I should have known better even then. I was too old to make that mistake. I was a chowderhead and far too self-centered. I didn't have the discipline. I made a huge mistake and learned from it, which you must when you make a mistake that big."

Jake checked to make sure Dave was still agreeable to letting him explain. Dave wasn't preparing to kill him, so Jake continued, "I didn't cheat this time. I'm not sure exactly what I did. In the aftermath I didn't want to paint myself in a good light, as a matter of fact, I've been painting myself in nothing but black light. Your wife knows me, and how badly I can screw up. I believe if she'll see me and talks to me a bit, she'll understand how earnest I am to better myself. I know how honest Carol is. She can even be cruel telling me my flaws; I'd be happy for the diagnosis to be delivered in buckshot as long as I get it."

Jake fished a pre-written and folded note from his pocket. "Heres' my name and phone number. You can ask Carol what she thinks of my request. I'm sure she has a very low opinion of me, which is pretty much exactly what I need." He laughed, "I guarantee I have a lower opinion of myself than even your wife does. I'm not looking for her to cheer me up. I'm not looking for her to put me in my grave either. I'm looking for answers, so I can be more like you."

Dave's head tilted back. His eyebrows arched as if they'd been hit in their underbelly.

Jake explained, "You won Carol's heart, and you've kept it. I'm sure you nurture her. If you think my request isn't completely outrageous, ask her to consider it."

"I can't tell you what she'll think."

Jake laughed, "That makes two of us. But I think Carol will quickly be able to tell both of us what to think of me. And if she believes I could change enough that folks could think something more of me."

Jake looked Dave directly in the eye, "I am NOT trying to rekindle an old relationship. That's why I need you to be there. It's a weird situation: Carol and I had history. If she says anything that isn't derogatory about me, you might think she still feels something for me. She doesn't: I saw that light go out in her eyes in person. I saw the scorn and anger in her eyes when she discovered what I'd done. I saw the cold dispassion when we parted forever. I need you there to see her reactions in real-time, so you know beyond doubt she doesn't harbor any positive feelings for me."

Jake chewed the side of his lip, "She thought I was more than what I was. If I had been I wouldn't have done what I did. Carol has a perspective of what I can be, and what I am, that's escaping me.

"My own diagnosis is pretty bleak: I was a fuck up, a tool. I don't think I'm a tool anymore." Jake chewed on the side of his lip, "But I'm still certainly a fuck up. I'm a fuck up as a man. That's something you don't want to admit in front of another man, although I'm admitting it to you right off the bat. There's not going to be any behaviors or any thoughts your wife would want to hide from you about me. Nothing you should be worried about. But I don't want to plant a seed of doubt in your mind, so I need you to be there."

Jake's head hung, "I'm not going to talk of anything intimate or physical." Jake hated being embarrassed in front of another man, "Look, you're clearly the victor here. I'm in the front row rooting for you as a big fan. I'm not trying to tear you down. That's the opposite of what I want. I don't want to be you, but I want to be as much like you as I can be and still be me. I don't want to be a phony, fooling others or myself."

Dave stared at him unsure how to respond.

Jake looked at his feet, "I don't know that I said that well."

Dave studied him then offered, "You want to be your best self."

Jake stared at the sidewalk, "Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Except right now, I don't think I'm a good self, and I'm wondering if I'm even capable of being good."

Dave ground his teeth, "I think a man laying himself low, who comes to another he has reason to dislike and shows him the respect you've shown me, is heading in the right direction. To admit your failings to me, when I have something that was very important to you, I'd say you've got good building blocks for a sound foundation. Hang on here in your car while I talk to Carol. Maybe we can have you inside for some iced tea?"

"No!" Jake said with unexpected energy. "I'm part of a past that should NOT intrude upon Carol's present. I feel like my being in your house would be like clomping big muddy boots across your newly carpeted life together."

Dave blinked a few times, "I ... think I understand what you're saying." Dave blinked a few more times trying to convince himself he really did understand. When he gave up, he asked, "What do you suggest?"

"I don't want to go to a restaurant where we can't talk openly or, frankly, where I'd be dressed down publicly. But I do think we should meet in public." Giving his neck a rest, Jake rubbed his chin, "There's a big central park a few blocks away I drove past several times trying to screw up the courage to stop and talk to you. It had picnic tables. If you agreed to see me, I could bring lunch. Just tell me what you like, maybe we could get together there. No one would get close enough to hear, so there'd be no embarrassment for you two saying what you have to say to me. I hope we can get together and you can point me in a better direction."

Dave held out his hands to the poor man, "Hold on a second, I'll be right back."

Jake tried to quell his sudden panic, "Wait! It might be a while. It might be a long while talking to Carol about me, especially my asking her to help me when I have NO right to. I don't want to screw up your whole day. How about if I don't hear from you in twenty minutes I'll just leave, and never bother you again." Jake's stomach had become a scale model of a washing machine.

Dave confidently replied, "I'm pretty sure I'll be out in ten."

Jake's anxiety rose, "No, I'll disappear, maybe just txt me to confirm that she didn't want any part of my idea sometime and you'll never have to see my face again. I mean that response I will confirmation I'm hopeless. T-That confirmation ... would be a big help. I'd have my marching orders that I should just forget ever having a romantic relationship. I'll get it and won't argue the point. Just having a definitive answer in my life would be a blessing. I don't know what's up or what's wrong with me, definitive answers are exactly what I'm lacking in my life. Carol will do me a huge favor just telling me to drop dead."

Dave nodded slowly while slightly reevaluating the situation, "You'll see me in less than fifteen minutes." He walked inside his house.

At the eight-minute mark Dave and Carol came out of their well-kept starter home. They gave each other an awkward smile. Then Dave nodded to Jake who sat in his car drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. Jake gave a nervous nod back. Then his stomach dropped through the floor as Dave turned and walked back inside the house.

Jake wasn't aware that he'd stopped drumming his fingers or that he was now raking them through his hair.

Carol set her gaze on the man in the car. Upon seeing her, Jake felt her presence, it was all he could do to not avert his eyes. He forced himself to keep his face forward. If she wanted to show him what she really felt about him, he owed her the opportunity. Pouring scorn on him was her prerogative.

Carol looked Jake up and down with an incredulous expression. At least she hadn't been in a rush to hit him. She didn't rush to hug him either. When Carol finally moved it was with long purposeful strides. She walked right up to the car. Jake worried it was so she could look him right in the eye as she punched him right in the nose.

Carol stood beside the car a moment, started to say something which obviously wasn't going to be nice. She stopped, the words catching as she looked Jake directly in his eyes. She started to say something else, then stymied that too. Her head crooked to the side, then she just stopped and put her hands on her hips. Then her hands made fists as she slowly crossed her arms across her chest, then her hands dropped back to her hips as she appraised him. She said amazed, "This is legit, isn't it?"

Jake nodded saying softly and genuinely, "Congratulations on your marriage. Just from the time I've spent talking to him, I think you picked a great guy. Hell, just that he'd speak to me at all. I've certainly heard great things about him. Everybody we used to know was determined to tell me just how wonderful he was. They ground it in how happy they were that you were with a great guy instead of the loser you almost got trapped with."

Carol noted Jakes' lack of acrimony. He really did seem happy for her. Further, Jake seemed to agree with the deprecating description of himself.

"I was happy to hear it, Carol. You deserve the best," the slowness of Jake's nod matched the quietness of his voice.

Carol wondered if Jake was trying to disarm her, but her gut told her no. Nor did she discern any attempt at manipulation.

Jake's expression became truly pained, "Carol, I messed up again." He put his hands up in surrender, "I didn't cheat though. Not this time; never again! I-I think I messed up one of three different ways, but I can't be sure which, or even if it's one of those three. You don't owe me a thing, but all want is to tell you what happened in the hopes that maybe you could confirm what I did wrong." Jake dropped his head further f before adding, "Your diagnosis means more to me than my own.

"Look, I'm admitting right now that regardless of what it was, it was my fault. I'm not trying to redirect the problem back to Beth. That wouldn't matter, she's already gone. I have to deal with this myself. Beth was a decent person, perhaps a little fast to pull the trigger on ending our relationship, but I'm sure I gave her cause."

Jake fought hard to keep the pleading tone out of his voice, "I-I'm not as bad as I was with you, although obviously I'm not as good as I need to be. I just need to sort out everything I need to work on, and hopefully the priority in which they need to be worked on. I just want to fix myself. I don't want to be alone forever. And I sure don't want to keep hurting good people. I must fix myself!"

Jake peered into Carol's face as if hoping she'd be proud of him in some way. She quickly sorted out that Jake simply hoped she'd see he'd changed. She correctly surmised he was desperate for her to understand he was sincere about changing.

"I fixed a lot. I fixed what was wrong about me that led to ... what I did to you. I'll always remember how profoundly disappointed you were in me and your life in general when you learned of my cheating. I knew there was nothing I could say or do; we were over, and you were terribly damaged. I truly never wanted to cause that level of disappointment again." Jake looked at his former fiancé bewildered, "I was true to her, Carol. I was faithful but screwed up some other way. I just don't know how. I understand that not knowing also paints a pretty damning portrait of me."

Jake looked up bashful again. "I'm hoping that," he looked at her house, "with your husband's blessing, you will help me figure it out. I'm not looking for anything protracted, I just need to set my compass. I'm in a downward spiral. It depends on which side of the rotation I'm on as to how I blame myself, it's too contradicting to make any headway. I need to know where to apply my energy; right now, I'm just spinning in place.

"Carol, you know me so well, especially my weak and bad points. The only other person who knows me that well is the only other person to throw me out of their life. You're uniquely qualified to tell me my worst faults so I can improve myself, and as a sweetener you get to tell me off at the same time!" Jake's enthusiasm was faked, though he'd really hoped telling him off would be an incentive.

While Carol hated when Jake cheated on her, she was far from happy at his level of damage.

Before Carol could respond Jake was nervously chattering again, "I know you should root for me to fall except we're talking about a real tailspin here. If you wanted me down, your wish has come true. It feels like if I don't finally get things right this time, I'll never be good for anyone. I never wanted to be bad for anyone, ever. I was too cocky; I saw no faults in myself, but I think you know me well enough to know I wasn't evil. I wasn't out to get something for myself at other's expense, though it worked out exactly like that. I wasn't trying to do wrong; I was selfish and weak. I don't think those are my major problems now, but I did something wrong. Frankly, I was thanking my lucky stars I had a second chance at love with Beth. I was true, so it must be something innate about me that drives good women away."

Jake suddenly looked very confused, "Except I must have something good in me. I must be capable of doing something right, because I've attracted two really good women enough that they wanted to marry me." Jake was bewildered.

Carol's hesitation on how to answer that point was just enough to let Jake's desperate meander regenerate.

"But one won't have anything to do with me at all and the other probably shouldn't. Being honest, I-I treated you worse than Beth. There's the rub: I never wanted to treat you badly. In the spur of the moment, I just wanted something so badly I took it knowing it could hurt you. That's no good, and I swore I'd never do that again. I didn't this time, I swear."

Jake nodded towards the house again. Carol intuited he was about to reference her husband, Dave. "I hope you have now what you should have gotten from me. Could you just help me ensure I don't hurt anyone again? I don't want to be lonely, but better that than continuing my reign of terror. Help me figure out how I might be able to give someone what they truly need."

Carol raised both hands in the "stop" gesture. "When did this happen, Jake? When did you break up?" She expected to hear "last weekend" or sometime recent enough that the dust hadn't settled on what may only be a bad argument. She was shocked at what she heard.

"Six months ago."

"Six months? You mean you're not here having some sort of overly immediate pity party for yourself?" Carol cringed at what she'd said aloud. She wondered if he'd been like this that entire time.

"Dear goodness, Carol, do you think so?" Jake was genuinely horrified that he might be that self-centered. "I thought I really wanted to move forward. Losing you shook me up. I thought I'd made more progress. I didn't go looking for love again, it found me. Beth actually pursued me. Look, if you decide I'm just bad stuff and will always hurt people, I'll join the merchant marine or something that precludes any future romantic entanglement. I MUST get this right. I don't want to hurt anyone again! I don't want to be toxic." Jake was distraught.

"Jake, I'm not sure I'm the right person for this. I'm not a professional."

"But Carol, you know me better than any professional. I don't need you to be polite or to spare my feelings. I want someone to point out the horizon for me, any horizon, and I'll march until I get there. Right now, I can't even walk a straight path: I'm spinning, just spinning. I just need someone I trust to point a direction even if it's off a cliff. I trust you to tell me that. Really."

Carol heard herself mutter the last word. "Really." Damn, she had to work on not thinking out loud.

Jake reacted, "Really! No tricks. You were always good to me. So good that even when I cut you deeply, you never tried to cut me back. I couldn't believe how badly I hurt you. Your expression on finding out still haunts me. I immediately knew I didn't deserve you and resolved to change. I'm so sorry to come here to tell you I failed in that quest. You're honest and fair: I'll go wherever you point, even straight to hell."

Carol looked Jake up and down. She didn't need to point to hell, Jake was already there. "You certainly have changed. But considering what happened between us, I'll need to verify what happened to you this time."

Jake nodded quickly, immediately fishing in his pocked for another piece of paper the poor wretch had filled out before driving there. He handed Carol the paper with Beth's name and number scribbled on it.

"Beth's my most recent ex-finance. I understand she's dating again ... and has some real prospects. If you call her, tell her why quickly, because once you mention my name, she's going to want to hang up." Jake went beet red, "If you tell her you're my first ex-fiancé I think she'll stay on the line. She's heard quite a bit about you, all positive. At least I told her the story of how I screwed up before others told her. I admitted I was the cause of the breakup."

Carol nodded, wondering what she was getting herself into.

Reading her thoughts Jake explained, "I'm not trying to put you in the middle of my other ex and me. I'm not trying to get back with her any more than I'm trying to get back with you. Maybe Beth will tell you exactly what pushed her over the edge with me. At the end Beth only swore at me when she spoke at all. I hope she'll tell you why she broke things off so ... decisively. If she does, you'll have something to compare with my failure with you. You've got my baseline in every sense of the word."

Staring at the phone number on the note Carol said glumly, "I'll call you as soon as I've talked with her."

Jake's eyes shone with sincere thanks. He nodded in virtual supplication, "Thank you, you've wasted more of your life on me today after I wasted months of your life before. And now you're going to waste more time talking to Beth and me."

Carol's eyes rolled towards the heavens as if encountering g-loads on a roller coaster.

"Really Carol, I can't describe how much I appreciate it. I've taken up too much of your time. I haven't done anything to earn your help, yet you're still giving it." Jake went so silent Carol was frightened he might weep.

Carol breathed heavily like she'd been running, "You're not all bad, Jake. We were engaged once after all. I saw a lot in you then." She glanced at the paper in her hand and held it up for Jake to see. "Beth did too. I'll call her but I'm not going to set myself up to be your continuing counselor."

He shook his head wildly, "I'm not asking that. I'm not asking to be part of your lives. I'm asking you for a short evaluation of me. I know you're going to kick my ass and I know I deserve it. But I don't want to let people down. I don't want to be the guy who earns being kicked in the ass. Just tell me my worst faults that need to be worked on first. That's all.

"Carol, you don't know how much you helped me by positively pointing out my negatives when we broke up. You weren't nasty about it: you were dismayed. You just laid it out. I used what you said as a roadmap for improvement. I thought I'd made real progress although apparently, I've messed that up too. I need a new roadmap and figure you're more than capable of giving me one again. But Carol, I completely understand if you don't want to."

Troubled, Carol answered, "Jake, I'll talk to you after I talk to your ex, probably midweek." She began to move off towards the front door. She paused to call back, "What are you doing next Saturday?"

"You're about to tell me!" He quickly added, "Either washing the car and berating myself or buying lunch for a lovely couple going out of their way to help a poor slob who doesn't deserve it."

Carol bobbed her head ruefully, "Cut off the poor slob part and let's see if we can make some progress. Be at the park at eleven Saturday. We'll already have a picnic table made up. We'll bring the lemonade. There's a little chicken place right up the street from the park that makes a mean lunch special. How about you grab three of those?"

Carol walked through the front door to find Dave making tea in the kitchen. She grimaced as she looked him in the face. Dave had told her how Jake had wanted him there for any talks concerning personal details. But Dave had specifically sent her out to see Jake alone so she could concentrate on any residual feelings she might have. The idea was to then tell Dave about them. Fortunately, seeing Jake only elicited some of the sickening sinking-in-quicksand feelings she had at the end of their relationship. Seeing Dave smile proudly at her for facing Jake alone filled Carol with happiness. She knew who she wanted to share everything with.

* * * * *

Carol felt her stomach twist as she dialed the number on the note. She looked to Dave for strength. He nodded his support as he made her some ginger tea to settle her stomach. Carol wasn't nervous because she was calling Jake, it was what she had to tell him.

Jake picked up the phone to hear Carol's concerned voice. He either didn't try or simply couldn't contain his happiness at hearing her voice, "Carol, is that you?"

"Gosh Jake, I wish you didn't sound that pleased to hear from me. I don't have good news for you."

Now Carol did hear Jake try to govern his emotions, "That's okay Carol. Requesting your help to point me in the right direction was a big ask; too big. I shouldn't have done it. I understand that you don't want to help me. Please thank Dave for hearing me out and thank you too. I won't bother you again."

"NO! That's not it. I, ah, spoke to your ex. I have some things to tell you, but they aren't wonderful."

Jake thought he could hear Carol cringing. "Carol, I know it's not good but it's exactly what I need to hear. Are you saying we're still on for this weekend?"

She paused, "Yes Jake, but it's not what you're expecting. It won't put you two back together."

Jake sounded completely fine with that, "I never expected that. Will it help me put my head on straight or give me direction?"

Carol was buoyed by his reaction. "Yes Jake, I think it can help both goals."

"Hot damn, Carol," he joked, before adding, "Bullseye!"

"Jake, this isn't going to make you happy."

"It's not supposed to Carol. It's supposed to help me improve. I'll be happier once I can confidently look myself in the mirror. So, we're on for this weekend?"

Carol found herself nodding at the phone, "Yes. Saturday for lunch in the park."

"Thank you, Carol. Thank Dave too. See you then!" Jake didn't hide his enthusiasm.

Carol hung up looking to her husband, "Oh Dave, I don't think he understands. He's going to be crushed. It's all upside down."

Dave's brow wrinkled. "Carol, you're obviously very concerned. Is it because you must deliver the bad news, or is it concern for Jake?"

Carol pondered while answering, "I hate being in the middle, and this is so messed up. I feel like the emergency room doctor who has to tell the injured husband his wife died in the wreck." She looked up to see Dave's expression. "No Dave, I don't want you to have doubts," Carol took his hand to lead him out of the room.

"Where are we going?"

She looked at him with worried eyes that quickly grew smoky, "To the bedroom so I can erase your doubts."

Dave stopped on the spot, "Carol, if it takes that level of effort to erase my doubts, then my doubts are justified. How much do you still feel for Jake?"

Carol felt her head shake back and forth to dispel her husband's fears. "Oh Dave, I'd never try to buy you with sex. I can only make love to the man I adore. Somewhere in what we're about to do I'll make you understand you are that one singular man."

After a short pause Dave's lip curled into a smile. "You know Carol, the first attempt may fail. To be sure you might have to repeat the procedure."

Carol wore an expression of sincere appreciation. Her eyes glowed hot as she pulled Dave along. Picking up her pace was her way of saying she planned to do just as he suggested.

* * * * *

Dave and Carol had gotten a nice park table, not too close to either the parking area or the stream, which were the two most populated areas. They should be able to speak freely at this location. They'd put out a tablecloth, cups, and a cooler full of tea. When Jake arrived, all they had to do was unfurl their chicken salad sandwiches and sides. The greetings were short but sincere. Nervous, Carol rushed to the heart of the matter, surprised that Jake was anxious to hear her findings.

"Ah, Jake, it turns out you were pretty dead on about Beth being quick to end the relationship. She admitted being terse and rough. I'm just going to blurt this out."

Dave watched Jake brace himself for the incoming salvo, only to come up short with Carol's news.

"Your new ex isn't a wonderful person. I fear this time you may have tried too hard. But that's only because you were trying to be a really good person."

Jake remarked softly, "You know something about that, don't you, Carol."

Her expression grew contemplative, "Perhaps. I do know the whole point is finding someone you'll try desperately and completely to be what they need. The trick is to find someone that you can grow into one complete and balanced person with. That's the point. If you don't feel the need or desire to do so, you don't have the right mate yet." She paused, "Beth, uh, wasn't your perfect mate."

Jake looked reflective. "Are you telling me Beth did to me what I did to you?"

Carol searched for the right words, "Ah, Jake, I think Beth was happy playing house and loved to tell folks she was engaged, but in the end, she wasn't ready for that level of commitment. In fact, she still isn't ready for that sort of commitment! She, ah, is still putting herself first. She has no desire to become what someone else needs, the idea hasn't occurred to her. And no Jake, she hasn't learned her lesson yet, not like you did."

Carol wanted to let that positive message sink in hoping it would mitigate what she had to say next. "Jake I'm sorry, but to convince you of anything I'll say later you need to hear this next part. Jake, Beth losing you didn't teach her the lesson, because she, ah, thinks she, "traded up."

Even Dave heard the disgust in Carol's voice repeating Beth's nasty explanation.

Jake said the phrase aloud, "Because she felt she traded up." He didn't ask it, he stated it.

Carol hated being the messenger of such cruelty, "Damn Jake, what would you have me say?"

Jake's lips turned in towards his teeth. He stated flatly, "The brutal truth."

Carol's eyes closed as if expecting a collision, "Jake that's what happened, except I believe it happened more than once. Beth was pretty open about testing out other guys. It's just that she finally found one she wanted to be with more and had to get you out of the way to do it. Apparently, it never occurred to her to simply tell you what she wanted or give you the chance to become it. Then again, she was keeping the fact that she was looking for someone "better" and taking a few candidates out for a test drive secret too, so there's a pattern of deceit."

Jakes face was stony which Carol thought seemed better than having him break down, although she didn't like either alternative. Carol rushed to add anything positive, "But Jake, that's Beth's problem, not yours. Beth will keep "trading up" until she finds the guy she's nuts about. That guy, however, will likely trade her for something better! Only then might she learn the lesson."

Jake looked resolved. He also looked green around the gills. Like a book his hands opened then closed. "Well Beth, was never going to learn that lesson from me because I refuse to teach it."

Carol's voice dripped sympathy, "That's good Jake."

"No Carol, it's pretty imperfect, but it's still better than where I was when I taught that lesson to you." Jake sighed, "I heard what you said about not holding back and being all in. I just wanted to know if I was worth anyone else's consideration. I was scared my best fate was being alone." Jake stared into space.

Carol fought the maternal urge to take his hands or hug him. "Maybe it isn't. If you keep learning and keep doing the right thing, even when it hurts, you'll make a great husband and a great father."

The concept of fatherhood made Jake sit upright on the park bench. He fought his growing emotions, "That's something I'd sure like to earn."

"Good Jake. There are a few rough edges and some tips I can give you but, be earnest, think of your partner, put them first, and communicate, are some of the top goals. If you aren't sure how to proceed with your partner, just ask them what they think. It really can be easy when both parties are grown up enough to do the right thing and be honest with themselves."

"That doesn't sound very easy." Jake wore a bemused expression.

"It isn't. Until it is, and then it's as easy as falling off a log."

Jake smiled, "Wow. Well, who wouldn't want to fall off a log?"

Though he was trying not to interfere, Dave laughed aloud.

Carol tried to explain further, "Jake, you just picked the wrong person. You thought Beth was genuine in wanting to make the big commitment just like you. Sometimes people like Beth want to be ready. They think they're ready, but they aren't, and they don't know it yet. Your ex still doesn't know it. That's how you get fooled when your partner isn't evil."

Jake frowned deeply knowing Carol had just referenced their shared past. He reached over to softly pat Carol on the wrist. He whispered, "I'm so sorry, Carol," Jake looked directly at Dave, "And thank God for you." Jake removed his hand from Carol's wrist. "So, you're telling me this time it wasn't me, it was her."

Carol nodded slowly and hopefully, "Yeah. I'm not saying you don't still have work to do. But you've done well. You fell apart but didn't give up. That you felt badly enough to seek ME out, tells me you aren't finished baking. You just need to finish and rise a bit" Carol smiled at her kitchen quips. "Knowing you couldn't do it yourself, and seeking help, especially from me, tells me you're pointed in the right direction. But you aren't correct in blaming yourself this time."

Amazed, Jake rolled the idea over again, "So, Beth did to me what I did to you."

Carol made a concerted effort to think it through, "No, not exactly. Firstly, Beth did it more than once. More to the point, she went looking for trouble and doesn't see it that way. When we were engaged you weren't strong enough to walk away when trouble found you. Though you realized your mistake immediately. That's very different. The effects on the person finding they're in a one-sided relationship is similar. Except I knew who I really was, and you don't believe in yourself yet."

Carol smiled encouragingly, "Your conflict this time was that you'd worked hard to change and had, but because you'd screwed up before you doubted yourself." Carol's face contorted in disgust, "Aaaand you'd told her what you did to break us up. When Beth was ready to move on, she made it sound like it was your fault because it was easiest for her. Beth didn't give you specifics of your bad behavior because there were none. But Jake, from talking to her, she would've thrown anything at you without it necessarily being true. She's, um, not in a good place in her life yet. She's self-centered yet projects like she's got it all figured out. She knows how to flirt, seduce, and manipulate. She sure doesn't have much positive figured out at all. Please believe me that she doesn't."

Jake rubbed his neck making Dave feel nostalgic. Jake straightened up ready to change the tenor of the conversation. Jake remarked, "Hmm, self-confidence doesn't sound like the easiest mark to hit when you don't have enough to start with. I know I have a lot of cons. Maybe you could give me the worst and I could develop more confidence as I work on them?"

Carol's eyebrows raised, "Wow, I guess you really do want to have that discussion."

The former couple went over some of Jake's foibles and things he could do to fix them. At the end of the hour everyone sat back like they'd had a tiring but satisfying workout. They looked at each other realizing they were done and started to break company.

Dave said, "You know, Jake, when we met, I wasn't sure if you had a lot of guts or a lot of balls. In this case the more positive one is guts. It took a lot to stop your car and talk to me, and then take a chance on my wife helping you."

Jake sheepishly replied, "It wasn't that much of chance. Remember I was the bad guy, Carol's always been good. I was pretty certain I could count on her."

Dave nodded affirmingly, "Well, you've convinced both of us you really want to better yourself, and my wife can certainly see the difference in you." Jake tried to hide his expression. Dave added happily, "From how you looked when you parted last time after showing up on our front lawn, I thought verbalizing that might give you some motivation."

Jake smiled, "In your front yard, I didn't step foot in your grass. I didn't want to soil your life. Remember?"

Dave nodded again, extending his arm to shake hands, "Good luck."

Jake put his other hand over Dave's. "After learning what I have about Beth, Carol is still the best thing that ever happened to me. I truly loved her; I just wasn't up to everything love demands. I've mentioned it before, seeing her face when I admitted cheating let me know that she was indeed something extremely precious and that I'd lost her completely. More importantly she was so shattered, so sad, it changed me on the spot. I knew it was too late for us. Also, that much of my boyish cockiness was dead on the spot. I hadn't grown into a man yet. I'm still trying. I know Carol will never consider me again, I know Carol is irrevocably yours. I hope I'm not being too honest here; to answer you honestly, yeah to have her look at me with some pride in my actions is a tremendous gift to offset the shattered expression of what I changed her into." He broke the handshake and looked to his car in the parking area.

Carol glanced at Dave making sure she had permission to ask something they hadn't discussed. He agreed with a single glance. That's what was great about the two of them: built in trust.

Carol looked at her ex, "Why don't you call my husband in another six months, just to give us an update. Just a quick report to say how you're doing." She paused with smiling eyes, "You've were correct doing this in a way that wouldn't produce worry in Dave. I think contacting him is still the best way to go. While I don't want to become your counselor, I do want you to make it. And I admit that we're going to be too damn curious to just let the matter go."

Carol smiled at her husband; he smiled back.

Jake gestured an air hug to the happy couple. Carol nodded back.

"All right," Jake nodded to Dave, "I'll talk to you in six months, sir." Now Jake looked at the married couple, "Thank you both. I hope you've just saved my life." He turned and walked towards his car.

Carol put her arm around Dave as they watched Jake pull away, "I think he's gonna make it."

Dave looked back at her, "You knew what he used to be. He's a lot different now. He wants to change, and he's put a lot of energy into it."

Carol posited, "I can see where he got befuddled. I can see where after six months he didn't want to blow it off or climb into a bottle. I'm pleased he didn't revert back to bad behavior and actually picked an avenue which was personally painful, accepting it as the toll to the path of improvement. I think he's different enough to make it. I think he has the chance anyway."

Dave watched Jake's car pull away from the side of the park. His mouth pulled up slightly at one corner. "I'll go further. I'm pretty sure he's gonna make it." Dave smiled at his wife, "But it won't be a walk in the park." He looked around them to display that's exactly where the two of them were. "Not yet anyway." He held out his arm.

Carol slipped her arm through his, thinking how much better her life had become after finding Dave as they began to stroll towards the creek. Once she'd invested everything in a lout who broke her heart. It took a long time to get over. Her ex had been a boy when she thought she had a man. Then quite by accident she found a man who helped her get over the heartbreak. Dave was confident enough that he trusted Carol to love him only, even while she worked to help a person she'd not only been intimate with, but loved.

Carol knew that Dave understood all too well she was also working through her last feelings for that boy. Most men might have feared a rebound. Dave didn't, he was a rock. He was steadfast. And Dave knew Carol well.

Assuredly there would be tough times ahead, economies went up and down, peace didn't last, and plenty of things worked out differently than expected, that was just life. But Dave wouldn't deviate, he was the surest place for Carol to place her heart for safekeeping. He'd protect it to his last ounce of life. He'd never allow anything to knock them from their path together.

Carol pulled herself into Dave's chest as they strolled. She'd found her mate. Regardless of external circumstances, the rest of their life together would truly be ... a walk in the park.