Why Did It Have to Be Me Pt. 02

Susan has decided to teach Charlene how to drive and after a month or so they meet Penny and Robyn up at the Mt. Dandenong Observatory. When they invite Susan and Charlene back to their place for a coffee she learns about Robyn's part time job as a dressmaker and decides to book her for a measuring up session. Author's note: a doona is a duvet or eiderdown

Mount Dandenong Friday, 8 June, 2001.

Susan had always considered herself to be fashion conscious. Albeit, she wasn't the kind to spend her weekly salary buying clothes, she upgraded her wardrobe a couple of times a year, but she got many of her clothes from op shops. It wasn't because she was on a low wage. On the contrary, she could have shopped at Myer or Country Road but had a preference for second-hand clothes. She liked wearing clothes that had been worn by someone else, an ordinary woman or a rich woman, it was all the same to her.

However, the first time she opened a catalogue in Robyn's studio she felt overwhelmed, there were dozens of patterns and about thirty to forty folders, filled with patterns of all descriptions and types, from dresses and skirts through to blouses, tops, trouser suits, skirt suits and even wedding dresses. There were folders for men and children too and Robyn remarked that if she liked something in the menswear folders then it could be modified to suit her.

"We're adaptable," she nodded at Charlene who'd come along to look at the folders after a driving lesson that saw them come all the way here. She'd been nervous of the steep turn into Penny's drive but after a failed first attempt she managed it on her second try.

"So, how do we go about this?"

"I take your measurements, if you're after tops and blouses then we just measure the top half but if you want trousers and dresses then we measure everything. We've got a pricing plan to suit almost every budget, I'd suggest the satin level, you order up to eight items every month and hopefully we can get them all to you by the end of the month."

"Uh huh," Susan nodded, "how much?"

"Here," Robyn pushed a price list across the table, "you pay a monthly or quarterly fee, but some pay yearly because it's a thirty percent discount, it starts at basic, which is six a month and goes to platinum, which is a lot more," she looked over at Cindy as she moved forward.

"We also deduct a month from the annual plan due to Christmas and you get five free items on your first order if you take out the annual plan."

"Is that for any level?" Charlene peered at the list.

"It is," Cindy nodded.

"Okay," Susan replied, "it's satin for me and I want the whole lot."

"Me too, but I'll just stick with the basic one," Charlene spoke up.

"So, what happens now?" Susan asked.

"You strip down to your underwear," Robyn walked over and turned a blind control and closed the Venetian blinds. Susan shrugged and undid the clips and buttons on her denim overalls and let the garment fall to the floor. She stepped out of it and started to unbutton the zebra-print blouse. Robyn picked up a measuring tape and a pencil and pad.

"You too," Cindy nodded at Charlene, "I'll measure you up at the same time."

Despite her apparent ease at stripping, deep down she felt uneasy. She knew Robyn and Cindy were gay, they were in stable relationships but Charlene was single.

"Am I doing it right?"

"You're fine," Robyn reassured her, "just breathe in when I say."

"So, how long have you and Penny been together?"

"About a year or so... okay, breathe in now."

She inhaled and Robyn checked the measurement and wrote it down. She glanced over at Charlene who had just stripped down to her underwear so that Cindy could measure her.

"Was it an easy choice to make?" Susan asked.

"Not really," she raised her left arm until it was level with her shoulder, "I knew I was probably that way inclined," she measured her arm.

"But you were still in church?"

"Well, most of my friends were there and I had a boyfriend," she wrote the measurement down and then proceeded to measure the other arm, "but we were really just friends. I had him around to keep the other guys at bay."

"Oh," Susan looked down as she wrote down the next measurement.

"The hardest choices were between women. I had several chasing me, some because I was a virgin and some because they actually liked me," she measured her waistline.

"But Penny was ultimately the only choice although I thought she was out of reach," she wrote a figure down then measured the distance between her throat and waistline.

"Do you still speak to these other women?"

"All but one, Helen wound up in jail for accessory to armed robbery and fraud, the rest are friends though, it's important to have female friends too."

The rest of the measuring session was completed in relative silence but as she was fastening the buttons on her bib Susan asked another question.

"So, if someone was questioning their sexuality. What would your advice be?"

"Go out on a few dates with a woman or women," Robyn tore the sheet off the notepad.

"You don't have to kiss at the front door it's like dating a guy. You either click or you don't, enjoy the ride. It's a journey not a destination."

"Absolutely," Cindy grinned, "all right, you can get dressed too, Charlene. We'll get the catalogues out and if you order a three piece suit then that counts as one garment."

A few minutes later several folders were laid out on the cutting table, Susan stared at the first image, several women wearing versions of the same blouse but in different colours.

"There's quite a lot here, how long do we have?" Susan asked.

"As long as you need, you've got a total of thirteen," Cindy replied.

"I like the blouse," Susan nudged her glasses.

"Yeah, I've made that recently," Cindy turned the envelope over to show a drawing of a woman in a three-quarter length pleated kilt and a white blouse with a princess collar.

"This is a kilt pattern but I've also got that blouse pattern too so if you ordered both at once then it would count as one item."

"Wow," Susan nudged her glasses, "now that's a deal the big stores don't give you," she studied the drawing, "I might choose both of them, please, in white."

"Good choice," Robyn remarked as she moved towards the bookshelf.

After a bit of flicking back and forth Susan eventually chose two three-piece skirt suits, a black one with a three-quarter length buttoned skirt and a tan one with a knee-length skirt. The next item she wanted was a grey three-piece trouser suit and a black one. She then chose a pussybow blouse with wide ties, she wanted it in red satin. Sometime later she discovered tie blouses with detachable ties that could be left off.

"They're quite popular," Cindy commented, "you wear it with or without the tie."

"I'll have two of them, in satin, grey and white?"

Robyn then showed her some double-breasted blouses in the cupboard she wanted two of them in white and pink silk-polyester. The last three however were difficult and Cindy and Robyn reassured her she didn't have to choose the rest today but she persisted and finally found a white three-quarter length dress that buttoned in the front. The last one was found when she asked about ruffled blouses and was shown a picture of a white blouse with a ruffled collar and cuffs, and three rows of ruffles on each side of the bodice. The last item came by accident when Charlene got to the fetish and novelty clothes and found a Red Riding Hood outfit and Susan chose the waistcoat in black, which came with hook and eye fastenings.

"I forgot to tell you that if you don't choose all your monthly quota the remaining items are tacked onto next month, we do that three months in a row and then it resets," Cindy told them.

"Wow," Susan nudged her glasses, "that's something you don't see at Myer."

"Their staff would be killed in the stampede, hell hath no fury like women at a sale," Cindy grinned as she folded her arms, "it'll take a couple of weeks to make them though."

"There's so much here," Susan sighed, "that waistcoat will be great for work."

"Why?" Cindy grinned, "where do you work?"

"Kindergarten but we have theme days where we all dress up, there's a spooky day coming up and we have to come as something spooky. I could be a witch in that outfit."

"Do you do jeans as well?" Charlene asked.

"Of course, we work with denim, leather, velvet, corduroy and wool," Robyn shrugged.

"I'll have to tell mum about this," Susan smiled, "she'd spend a fortune on stuff for her and dad. I might go for leather next time."

"No worries," Cindy stretched, "I'm thirsty, do you ladies want a coffee or tea?"

"Just coffee for me," Susan replied, "Charlene's the tea drinker."

"Of course you are," Cindy grinned, "what'll it be? Penny has a few brands, Earl Grey?"

"I'm not fussy when it comes to tea, cheap is best."

"Bushells?"

"That'll do me," she looked around the sewing room, "I can't get over this house it's so rustic and I can't get over the view from the living room."

"It's to die for," Robyn inclined her head, "after you."

"How long will all this take?" Susan asked her as they went down the stairs.

"Going by current orders, I'd say about six weeks to complete everything. What usually happens is you'll get several garments or outfits at once. We do everything in batches."

"Makes sense, there's no rush but when do you want the money?"

"The sooner the better," Cindy called out from the bottom of the staircase.

Susan was about to reply but was momentarily distracted by Penny coming out of the office on the first floor with another woman who was familiar but the last time she'd seen her it'd been years ago and she'd been wearing the uniform of a probationary constable.

"Hiya," she raised her hand.

"G'day," Elke smiled, "have we met before?"

"Once when I was in primary school, you're Constable Fønsmark? You came out to see mum after my biological father bashed her again and convinced her to press charges. She was Valerie Watts but she remarried and now she's Valerie Goode. I changed my name to Goode as well."

Elke's eyes narrowed and then she nodded, "you lived in Croydon North?"

"Yeah, we're in Croydon South now. My stepfather is Senior Detective Alastair Goode but I just call him dad, he's at Lilydale but he was in Croydon before that."

"I know him, we've worked with him at Croydon and Lilydale. He's a good man, I'm Elke," she held out her hand.

"Susan," she shook her hand.

"Pleased to meet you," Elke smiled, "and good to hear your mum married the right man, I've been at Ringwood CIB for a couple of years."

"So, how do you know Penny?"

"We've been friends for years, I live with one of her girlfriends, Melanie."

"She's also a part of our group," Penny started down the stairs.

"I've been meaning to ask about that," Susan followed them down the stairs, "how do I join?"

"It's by invitation only," Penny replied, "but if someone nominates you then I'll second it."

"I'll nominate her," Elke glanced at her, "if that's all right?"

"Thank you."

"Then it's a done deal, the next meeting is here next Friday."

"Okay, sure. I help out at the food bank but I'll change that."

"Whatever, if you've got to inconvenience someone then you can always come next month."

Charlene was invited by Robyn and over afternoon tea Robyn ran her through the protocols. Each meeting had a theme and opened it with a story relating to the theme. The meeting leader then went around the room and invited others to share their views.

"You don't have to speak either, if you'd rather sit and listen then it's fine," Penny said. "I've kept quiet a few times, especially if someone needs help. Once a woman shares her thoughts others can chime in with their suggestions and we try not to fall into the habit of being the big sister or mother. Different strokes for different folks as they say."

"So, what's the theme for this week?" Charlene asked.

"That's a mystery," Penny smiled, "only the person running the meeting knows."

"There is one thing you should know," Robyn looked at Susan, "we've got a few gay women in our group, more so than other groups but I take it you're not homophobic."

"Not at all," she looked down at a plate of fruitcake, "in fact it's kind of got me curious."

"About?" Robyn picked up the plate and held it out to her.

"Sex between women," she took a slice of cake and sank back against the couch.

"Go on," Robyn nodded at Charlene but she didn't want more cake.

"I guess there's the obvious. How it all happens given the obvious lack of," she blushed.

"Equipment?" Penny smirked, "they're called fingers and a tongue but if you really want depth then try a vibrator or dildo."

"I kind of thought that but I've got no experience in sex at all, I was wondering about motivation. How did you become gay or were you born gay?"

"I was always attracted to women," Penny replied, "I was pretty much out but never made a big deal out of it."

"I was married to a guy," Cindy replied, "I had two kids and then the marriage broke up and I was out with a girlfriend and we stumbled into a mixed bar and got talking with a couple of women, my girlfriend wasn't that interested," she paused.

"But one of them rang me a few days later and asked me out and I said yes when I meant to say no and that was where it all happened for me. We never had sex on the first date, we didn't kiss either but on the second date we got on together on the couch," she grinned.

"The third date was where the magic happened. We didn't last long but once I'd been with her there was no going back to men."

"Why not?" Susan asked.

"Let's just say that the first time I experienced an orgasm was with a woman. I wasn't the only one by the way, plenty of women my age were in a similar predicament. Men didn't think about whether or not we'd been satisfied, but not all of them went the same way as me."

"Oh, I didn't know that."

"You've been warned," Charlene nudged her.

"I guess so."

Susan looked down at their German Shepherd and ran a hand through his coat, "oh to be a dog and just do it without worrying about what others think."

"Peanut will hump your leg if you let him and he's been de nutted," Robyn smiled.

"Have you lost your balls?" Susan asked him and his tail thumped against the floor.

"He'll never trust me again, last time he trusted me he lost his balls."

"He wants your cake," Penny spoke up, "Peanut, down now."

Peanut turned and looked at her expectedly and she pointed to the floor. He sank down with a sigh and Robyn giggled.

"Oh there he goes, look no one ever feeds me. I'm going to fade away to a shadow."

"We should get going," Charlene put a hand on Susan's thigh, "I have to start work in a few hours."

"Shit, sorry. I forgot about that," she looked down at her hand, "well thanks for measuring me up and I look forward to seeing the results, I'll bring the money along on Friday if that's okay?"

"Yep," Cindy nodded.

"Can I ask you something?" Charlene asked her a few minutes later.

"Sure, what do you want to know?" Susan changed gear.

"Are you really curious about lesbian sex?"

"Um, kind of yeah. I'm very much aware that I'm an oddity."

"Is it just Grant or is it guys?"

"That's the bit that worries me. I try to think of doing it with other men but I go blank. It's like that part of me is underdeveloped or maybe it's just dead. I have the drive but no motivation to actually do anything about fulfilling the urge."

"You should go on a date with a woman."

"Like who?"

"Me, if that's not crossing a line."

Susan didn't reply for a full minute or so but then she frowned.

"Maybe, maybe not. Can I just say I'll think about it? I've got a lot on at the moment."

"Me too, I've got my first official lesson with another instructor, Max. I want to go for my licence in the next month or so, it's up to him of course."

"He'll have his own measuring stick, so do what he says. I've never been an instructor and you may have picked up a few bad habits from me."

"Can't imagine that."

"Trust me, you do develop bad habits," she replied, "look at me, I've got one hand on the gear stick and the other on the wheel, that's a definite fail in their book."

"I'll keep it in mind but I'm still doing lessons with you too?"

"Of course but try to book as many with him as you can, it's important to learn his way," she shifted into second gear to negotiate a bend in the road.

"But if you pass your test then I'll let you take me out for dinner."

"Oh, like on a date?"

"Yeah, why not," she grinned, "just not a kissing date."

"Be still my beating heart," she tapped her breast.

~*~

St Stephen's Tavern, 17:30.

St Stephen's Tavern located across the road from Westminster and with spectacular views of Big Ben. It's one of a few pubs with a division bell that rings to warn MPs that their chance to vote on a motion will soon be ending. Dating from 1875 its most famous patron was Churchill.

It wasn't the first time they'd holidayed in London, their first visit was eighteen years ago on their honeymoon. The twins were still in kindergarten and they'd come in January when the temperature fell below zero. There had been several visits since but they'd never been in this particular pub but could recall walking past it a few times.

"It's larger on the inside than I imagined," Sarah looked around.

"I agree," Susan fiddled with the collar of her white blouse, it was tucked into a pair of blue jeans and sensible black walking shoes. A grey houndstooth tailored jacket decorated with black lapels and cuffs completed her outfit for the night. The jacket had been made years ago just before she got together with Sarah and it'd lasted the test of time admirably. Sarah wore a cream turtleneck jumper under a white blouse tucked into blue jeans and black knee-high boots.

"What're you having?" Sarah asked her.

"I might have," she nudged her glasses, "beer battered fish and chips."

"Ooh," Sarah popped on her reading glasses, "that sounds good."

"Expensive fish and chips though."

"Stop making the conversions," Sarah scolded her.

After they'd placed their order Susan sat back to observe the patrons, despite its celebrated past they seemed to be ordinary people and she raised her phone and took a picture of Sarah.

"For the girls," she smiled.

"Of course," Sarah picked up her phone and took a picture of Susan, "what's good for the goose is good for the gander."

"Absolutely."

Susan propped on her palm and stared at the door as a couple stepped outside and let her mind go back to that first date with Charlene. It was her first lesbian date, at the time she thought it banal but in hindsight she recognised the suggestiveness that eventually cracked the obstacles erected against girl on girl sex.

~*~

Faraday Street, Croydon South, Monday 31st July.

Charlene passed her driving test after two attempts, Susan came home from work to find her in the living room with her mum. Charlene did a double take at her outfit, she wore a white ruffled blouse and a black three-quarter length buttoned skirt, a black bodice and black boots. Her face was made up with green foundation, black lipstick and eye shadow and cat whiskers stuck to her cheeks, she had a witch's cap in her hand. Charlene raised an eyebrow.

"It was dress up day at kindy and we weren't exempt," she put the cap on the coffee table, "I'm the wicked witch of Croydon," she pulled the whiskers off.

"You should've seen her this morning," Valerie grinned, "I nearly had a heart attack when she came out of her bedroom but I love that blouse, I'm going to add that to my next order."

"I'm ordering another one in pink," Susan pushed her glasses up her nose.

Charlene smiled and Susan cocked her head to one side, she looked flushed and she ran an eye over her outfit, a white blouse and three piece grey trouser suit. Had she been for a job interview?

"Have you been drinking today?"

"No," she took a folded piece of paper out of her bag.

"I passed my test today."

"Wow," Susan smiled, "congratulations," she leaned over and gave her a quick hug.

"She's staying for dinner, if that's okay," her mother spoke up.

"Of course she can stay," she sat down in a chair, "I was thinking about you earlier but you didn't call so I was thinking maybe you hadn't passed."

"It was close, we got to the parallel parking bit but there was a learner driver parking their car so the instructor told me to keep driving and do a handbrake start on a hill instead. I was panicking about the parallel parking test."

"I found it hard at first but these days it's second nature," she replied.

"Well, I'll leave you girls alone," Valerie rose, "I've got to start dinner."

"Do you need a hand, mum?"

"No, it's fine. I've been making dinner for years, I'll bring you in a coffee."

Susan read the piece of paper, which stated she was now licensed to drive on a probationary license. A second piece of paper stated that she was not allowed to have alcohol in her bloodstream whilst in control of a motor vehicle.

"This is so fucking good," she nudged her glasses, "sorry, that's not very Christian of me."

"But it's honest and that's what I love the most about you, your honesty."

"Especially after last Friday's women's meeting, I surprised myself more than anyone else," Susan stared at the kitchen door. Outing herself wasn't on the agenda at the previous meeting, she'd been listening and the theme revolved around beating the winter blues. But last week the meeting was at Alana's place and she and her partner were celebrating their first anniversary, there had been the usual congratulations. But when it came to her turn she instead confessed that she felt as if she had been living a lie for the last few years.

"I hold hands with Grant, or whichever guy I'm seeing and try to convince myself that I'm straight but I have no interest apart from just simple companionship. I've got a male friend who works out at the food bank who gives me just as much pleasure without the drama. He's gay and I feel more comfortable with him than Grant."

A probing question from Elke led to a confession that she'd had crushes on girls for years and years but these women were all straight but lately she'd come to the conclusion that if one of them came onto her she might not resist. She'd been a little embarrassed to admit it but no one seemed to mind and several women came up with their own similar stories but Melanie's advice was still ringing in her ears days later.

No one says you have to come out and start wearing a lesbian necklace. I really thought that I had to come out and tell my kids first and my family, and it was weighing me down but my friend Bob in A. A told me it was all about living one day at a time. He never gave up drinking for life, he just did it for one day at a time and so I applied the same principle. I was gay one day at a time and at first I thought Elke would reject it as being weak but she understood it, and so we were together one day at a time. It took me over twelve months before I finally said I was gay.

"Are you okay?" Charlene asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she nudged her glasses, "I need to get this makeup off first."

"I'll wait here then."

"Just come in," she rose, "it's no drama."

"I'll bring your coffee in then."

"Okay, thanks," she rose and left the room.

Charlene was sitting on her bed when Susan came into the bedroom some fifteen minutes later, the jacket was hanging from her office chair and a coffee was on her bedside drawers. She noted that the blouse she wore had short puffy sleeves ending in a narrow cuff. She stared past her as she tried to think of something to say but her inspiration had deserted her.

"So, we won't see much of you now you've got your wheels," she shut the door behind her.

"I'd like to still come and see you," Charlene fell back onto her elbows, "if that's all right?"

"It is but it's not like I'm suddenly playing for the other side," she put her handbag on the bed. "I'm just," she started undoing the hook and eye fastenings on the front of the bodice, "just," she looked down at herself as she undid the garment.

"Open to change? Willing to admit? Accepting yourself as you are now?"

"All of the above," she undid the last fastening and parted the bodice to reveal the blouse and knelt on the bed so as Charlene could have a closer look. It had three rows of ruffles on each side of the bodice, the middle two overlapped and the buttons and buttonholes were sewn into them, it also had a ruffled collar, the cuffs ended in ruffles.

"I like that blouse, wasn't that part of your first order?"

"It was, I picked it up when I did my second order two weeks ago and I ordered a pink one."

"Fabulous," she felt a row of ruffles, "and the skirt?"

"Part of my second order," she rose and tugged at the skirt, it was made of light cotton and fell to just past her knees, it was buttoned up the front, she threw the bodice on the bed.

"I have to say, without all that makeup you look hot to trot."

"Thanks," she unbuckled her belt and slid it through the belt loops.

"I haven't been back yet but maybe soon. Once I get a car."

"Why wait until then?" Susan pulled the last of the belt away from the skirt and threw it on the bed and put her foot next to Charlene.

"Would you be a dear?"

"Um, sure," she grabbed the zipper and started pulling it.

"You just have to call me and ask if I can take you up, I love going up there."

"Okay," she finished unzipping the boot and pulled it off.

"See? It's as easy as that," Susan put her foot on the floor and lifted the other one onto the bed, "I have to go up and get the rest of the order next week and I'm getting some more clothes, I decided to upgrade my plan to silver," she watched Charlene unzip the boot.

"How many do you get with silver?"

"Fifteen items a month, she's already finished some items."

"Wow, what brought all this on?"

"It's been a slow process, let's just say you're to blame."

"Me?" Charlene removed the boot.

"Yeah," she put her foot on the floor and started to unbutton her skirt.

"You've made me look at things from a different perspective," she glanced at her.

"For years I've been doing the same things," she undid a couple more buttons and then pushed the skirt over her hips, "day in day out," it fell to the floor and pooled around her feet.

"Sounds familiar," Charlene replied.

"For years I've been wearing clothes that wouldn't make me stand out from the crowd, I've noticed some of the clothes you wear whenever we go driving and it's kind of inspired me to think outside the box," she nodded at the bodice. "I love my bodice and this," she looked down at the blouse, "is gorgeous."

"I know, I want one now. Would you wear it on our first date?"

"Sure, why not?" Susan shrugged, "it's a straight date though, sorry but I don't know if I'm ready to get into a relationship with anyone."

"Who says you do?" Charlene replied.

"There is that," she turned to the wardrobe and opened one of the floor to ceiling mirror doors and frowned, "jeans or skirt? I might have jeans."

"I'll get them, where are they?"

"Chest of drawers, the second drawer from the bottom."

Charlene rose and walked around the bed to the chest of drawers on the other side of the room and opened the drawer. "Any particular ones?"

"There's two pairs of white jeans on the top," she replied.

By the time she returned with the jeans she'd swapped the ruffled blouse for a silk tan blouse with a wide placket.

"Thanks," she stepped into the jeans and pulled them up over her hips.

"How was work, by the way?"

"The kids were hypo today," she pulled the zipper closed and fastened the buttons.

"I couldn't work with kids," Charlene lay down on the bed, "adults are easier."

"I've always liked kids," she beside her.

"So, what clothes did you get this time?"

"I'm wearing them now," she indicated the blouse and the jeans.

"Wow," Charlene touched the jeans, "I like them and the blouse is nice too."

"The grand total was fifteen but I'm still waiting on some things," she sipped her coffee.

"he best part is that if I want to order clothes for someone else I can let them use my account to get a few items, it's so flexible."

"I didn't know that," she had some coffee as well, "but I loved that ruffled blouse."

"Well get in quick, the girls at work all want one, I wrote down Robyn's number so many times that I know it off by heart."

They sat there drinking coffee for a few minutes and eventually Susan spoke.

"So you're licensed, I won't see you for dust."

"I'll still come around if that's all right."

"Of course it is, so what kind of car are you thinking about?"

"The guy down the road is selling a VG Valiant, but it's very long."

"I'm not very good with cars, what year is it?"

"He said it was a 1971."

"Oh, that'd be quite big," she had some coffee, "how much?"

"Three thousand, five hundred dollars. I reckon I could get him down to three if I wore that bodice you had on earlier."

"Hey, feel free. If you've got it flaunt it," she drained the rest of her coffee and put the cup on top of the bedside drawers, "shift over Rover, I wanna lie down on my bed."

"Sure," she moved across as Susan slid down the bed and lay down with her hands behind her head. Charlene slid down beside her and propped her head on her palm.

"I like this blouse though," she tugged at the collar.

"Thanks," Susan looked down at it. "God, it's so good to lie down for a few minutes, I've been on my feet all day. Don't get me wrong, I love kids but they can be hard work at times, at least I can give them back to their mums," she smiled.

"I know," Charlene folded the placket back and slid her fingers up the front of the blouse.

"Shit, sorry. I wasn't thinking," she pulled her hand away from her blouse.

"That's cool," she patted her hand.

"And you don't mind that I'm attracted to you?" Charlene folded the placket back again.

"It's cool but I don't know how it would work between me and any woman right now," she closed her eyes.

"It's only been a couple of days, these things take time and there's no one way to do things, we're all different," she pushed the top button through the buttonhole. The collar parted to form a shallow vee and Susan's eyes opened.

"Thanks but no further than that," she patted her hand and closed her eyes.

"No worries, some women are in a hurry to explore but others want to smell the flowers," she slid her fingers along the top of the shallow vee, "so what worries you the most?"

Charlene folded the placket back and slid down to her belt, Susan opened her eyes briefly and put one hand behind her head and closed her eyes again.

"Lack of experience," she spoke quietly.

"Uh huh," Charlene replied, "but that's nothing to be ashamed of, I was afraid of touch," she slid up the placket again, "I was in a lot of fights at school."

"I'm sorry," Susan replied, "but touch is something I'm wary of. Grant holds my hand but that's as far as it goes."

"So none of this?" Charlene rubbed the back of her hand against her cheek.

"No," she replied but didn't open her eyes.

Charlene drew her finger down the blouse to her belt and she opened her eyes slowly and stared into her eyes as she tried to sort through the growing confusion. It felt so normal, however she had never thought of herself as being gay or even bisexual.

"Can I ask you something?" Susan grabbed her hand

"What?" Charlene stared at her.

"It's kind of embarrassing, I'm just warning you."

"Now I really want to know. What is it?" Charlene stared at her.

Susan bit her lip and hesitated before speaking.

"I need to buy a vibrator but I've never bought one so I need someone to come with me to the sex shop in Bayswater to help me out. I'm too chicken to walk in by myself."

Charlene stared at her and then giggled. She was just about to reply when they heard footsteps at the door followed by a timid knock.

"Can I come in?"

Susan angled herself towards the door and Charlene sat up.

"Sure mum, of course."

The door opened and her mother stepped into the room, she stared at them for a few moments and then smiled crookedly.

"Do you eat cabbage? I'm making mince and mashed potatoes and we add cabbage but I know that not everyone likes it."

"I love cabbage, I'm easy to cook for."

"Fantastic," she took a step back, "it won't be ready for half an hour or so. Alastair's on his way," she took another step back, "I'll call you when it's done," she closed the door.

As she walked away Charlene let her breath out.

"Did she just do what I think she did?"

"That's mum for you, she's always been open minded," she lay on her back again.

"Oh," she lay down beside her, "and here was me thinking I was intruding and the answer is yes but only if you come with me to look at this car. I've got a guy at work who'll take it for a test drive as well but you can advise me on the overall look."

"The look?" Susan opened her eyes and smiled crookedly, "I'm a kindy teacher not a mechanic, my advice isn't worth jack shit."

"Your gut instincts then," she replied.

"My what?" Susan stared at Charlene as she fingered her collar.

"Your overall feelings. Don't worry about actually looking at the car, but while he's looking under the bonnet you can be looking at other things such as, whether the owner looks too nervous when Mick looks at something."

"Sounds a bit New Age for me but you basically want moral support. I can give that but ultimately it's Mick's opinion and your gut instinct that counts."

"True, but would you just come along anyway?"

"Okay, deal," she replied.

"Thanks," she patted her belly.

"About what you were doing before, if you were bothering me you'd know about it. I've got mum's assertiveness, both of us have, there was nothing wrong with touching but I'm conflicted because of the situation with Grant."

"How do you feel about Grant and what do you want to do about him?"

Charlene slid a finger down the placket.

"That's two questions," she stared at the ceiling fan, "I don't know the answer to either," she looked down as Charlene slid her fingers up to the second button and then back down to the belt buckle, a moment later she put her palm on her belly.

"So, what's the solution?" Charlene replied.

Susan rolled onto her side and pushed Charlene onto her back.

"I haven't got one, I know it sounds weak but I can't decide between him, you or anyone else. It's not like I signed up for this, it just happened. Maybe it's like Sigrid said on Friday, it's been sitting there for years just waiting for the right moment to emerge or maybe I'm bored with Grant and I'm looking for an easy exit," she touched the collar of Charlene's blouse.

"I like this one though," she felt the collar.

"Thanks," she looked down as Susan felt the waistcoat.

"I know, I know, I look like a fucking dyke in this gear."

"No you don't, stop it," she slapped her left breast.

"I'd wear it, you'll have to show it to Robyn or Cindy so I can get one just like it."

"Cool but send me a text to remind me," she undid the first button on her waistcoat.

"I've got a memory like a sieve," she slipped the second button through the buttonhole and the vee became deeper.

"I will," Susan let her breath out as Charlene twisted the third button and undid it.

Charlene undid the last two buttons and parted the waistcoat. Susan felt the front of the blouse.

"Nice, I love that material."

"It's silk noir, I sometimes wear an old fashioned bowtie with it."

"It'd look good with a bowtie, I'd like to see that," she felt the shiny material, "so smooth."

"Yeah, I like it, I bought it in a shop in Amsterdam."

"I'd love to go to Amsterdam one of these days."

"It's a beautiful city, I went for the marijuana," she smirked.

"I'd probably give it a miss," she slid her finger down the edges of the blouse, following the line of the vee. It was buttoned to the second button and she hit the bottom of the vee and went up the other side a moment later.

"Would you? Try it?" Charlene asked her, "sex with a woman?"

"Probably, I can't get pregnant and there's less risk with STDs."

"But it'd cause a conflict in your mind," she replied.

"It would, I don't believe in cheating and as much as my relationship with Grant is at a standstill, he isn't a bad man. I need to do the right thing by him."

"Then perhaps we shouldn't be lying on your bed doing this."

"Maybe," she fiddled with her collar, "will you do me another favour?"

"Two favours in one day? I think I might have to start charging for these favours. What is it?"

"Hold me please? Don't try anything, just hold me."

Charlene's eyes widened and then she let her breath out.

"Hey, come here," she put her arm around her and Susan shifted closer and put a knee between her legs and laid her head on her breasts and rested a hand on her belly.

"Thanks."

"No problem, anytime."

They lay in each other's arms for about five minutes and eventually Susan spoke quietly.

"I will talk to him though."

"When?"

"Sunday," Susan replied, "he'll be there then."

"Okay, well I won't give you advice either way. It's your decision but we should talk about this date at some point. You said we'd go out for dinner if I passed my test."

"Oh right, okay then. Sorry, I totally forgot about that. How's about the Cuckoo?"

"I've heard about that place, where is it?"

"Up in Olinda, it's a Bavarian themed restaurant. I've been there a few times."

"Bavarian? I like Bavarian."

"So, when? For this date? I have to make a reservation."

"Hmm, how about next Friday?"

"This Friday coming or the next one?"

"The next one, I'm working this Friday but I've got next Friday off. I want to look for a car at some point, I haven't told mum yet but she'll give me money for a car if I have a licence."

"No worries, I'll make the reservations tomorrow, don't open your mouth," Susan kissed her lightly on the lips. When her mother came back into the bedroom fifteen or twenty minutes later Susan had nodded off and Charlene had to wake her.

"Shit, sorry, I nodded off," she propped on her elbow.

"When you're ready," Valerie spoke.

"Mum," she rolled over onto her elbows.

"Yeah, that's what they call me," she inclined her head and stepped out again.

"Sorry about that," Susan sat up, "one minute I was half asleep and the next I was gone."

"I figured as much," she grinned.

~*~

Wattle Road 4 August, 11:20

For decades most Australians were divided into two groups, Holden lovers or Ford lovers, these car manufacturers dominated the market. All year long they battled it out on race tracks ending with the grand finale at Bathurst, a twelve-hour endurance race on a truly daunting track. Other carmakers competed too, but their cars had smaller engines and most people were focused on Group A, which was dominated by Holden and Ford with some competition from Chrysler.

Chrysler also had a stake in the Australian car market and like its American rival had designed cars to withstand the harsh Australian landscape. Chrysler had V8s, slant sixes and hemi sixes, the six cylinder was faster than the small block V8s such as the Holden 253 and 308 and Ford's 302. It was only the big block V8s that stood a chance against the 245 and 265 cubic inch hemis.

Despite their advantages though, Chrysler suffered from an image problem, long derided as Mafia staff cars, in reference to the fact that many Italians and Greeks drove them. It was unfair, they were cheaper cars and better value for money than Holdens and Fords. This Chrysler had been modified, the 225 slant six had been replaced by a 265 hemi. It'd been repainted in white and the owner had covered the bucket seats and steering wheel with sheepskin. He'd added a CD player, replacing the cassette player, which accounted for the higher price tag.

"What do you think?" Charlene turned to her friend, Mick.

"Yeah, it's pretty good for the price," he kicked the tyres, "you'll need to replace the front tyres in a few months but swap the rear tyres with the fronts and you'd be okay for about a year."

"Okay," she glanced at Susan, "that sounds okay but what about the rest?"

Mick moved around to the front of the car whilst the owner waited. Susan ran a brief eye over the owner. He was in his mid to late forties with a hairline that had practically disappeared leaving tufts of hair around his ears. He was married with three kids, the youngest, a five-year-old daughter was sitting on his shoulders. She turned to Mick, he was twenty one with long black hair that had been cut at a salon. His tanned complexion suggested a Mediterranean heritage. He wore a black tee shirt and black jeans, she noted the tattoos on his upper arms, a near naked women with a fig leaf on one arm and a Harley engine and scroll with Live to Ride, Ride to Live on the other. He'd certainly run a longer than normal eye over her.

"Take it for a drive?" Mick looked at the owner.

"Sure thing," he lifted his daughter off his shoulders, "Lucy, go and tell mum I'm going out for a drive for a few minutes."

"Can I come, dad?"

"Um, no, sweetie, not this time."

"Dad, it's not fair!"

"Hey, I'm Susan," she stepped forward.

"How about we sit up on the verandah with your mum and wait for dad? I'd love some cordial."

The girl looked up at her father and he smiled crookedly.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Why don't you show her your barbies? I'll take you for an ice cream in a little while, okay?"

"Okay," she looked up at Susan, "it was my birthday, I got a barbie house."

"Well let's have a look then," she held out her hand.

The others got into the car and she ascended the few steps to the verandah and the girl opened the flywire door and led her inside. Susan offered the petite dark-haired woman on the couch a smile as they looked at each other.

"She's showing me her barbie house while daddy goes with my friend in the car."

"Okay, sure," she grinned, "I hope she buys it."

She was going to ask more about the car but the girl was leading her down a passageway and they soon reached a door marked Princess Lucy. It was where Charlene found her twenty five minutes later when Lucy's mother led her into the room.

"I've put down a deposit of a thousand dollars, I'll give him the rest tomorrow afternoon."

"That good, huh?"

"Yeah, it's old but it's so smooth to drive and it's automatic, which kind of threw me at first as I'm used to manuals but hey, it's one less thing to think about."

"Good, it'll be good to finally get rid of it," Samantha spoke up, "he's been talking about selling it for the last twelve months but keeps putting it off."

"Why?" Susan asked.

"It belonged to his dad and when he passed away it was part of the estate, the house and other stuff was sold and distributed amongst his kids, it had sentimental value but we really can't afford to run three cars at once."

"I'll look after it and I'm just up the road if he wants to borrow it," Charlene replied.

"I'm sure he'll love that," she looked at her daughter, "you showed her your barbie house."

"Yes, mum."

"She loves that house," Samantha smiled.

"I had barbies when I was younger too," Susan rose and nudged her glasses, "but I never had the house, mum got me a barbie car one year."

"I like that blouse, where did you get it?"

"A friend made it," she looked at it, "Robyn, she and Cindy run a dressmaking business in Mount Dandenong. I had it made for our winter fancy dress party. I'm a kindy teacher out at the daycare centre in Croydon North, just near Burnt Bridge?"

"I know it, we had two kids at that one but then we moved here, she went to one in Bayswater," she turned around as her husband came in.

"This is where you all are," he looked down at his daughter briefly, "you want a cuppa, tea, coffee or something stronger."

"Kevin, it's too early for alcohol."

"Tea would be nice," Susan nodded, "white and two."

"I'll have tea as well but no sugar in mine."

"Earl Grey or Bushells?" Samantha asked.

"Either or," Susan shrugged, "tea is just tea."

"Don't say that in front of my mother," Samantha grinned, "she's a connoisseur, it has to be steeped first and you add lemon to it, watching her make tea is like watching paint dry."

"Come on," Susan nodded at Lucy, "bring your barbies through and we'll give them tea."

Over tea with the Thompsons and Lucy's barbie dolls they learned that he'd been in Vietnam as a nineteen-year-old in 1971 and this was his second marriage.

"I thought my daughter from my first marriage would've wanted the car but she bought a smaller car," he glanced past them.

"No worries then," Susan looked at her watch, "um do you want Robyn or Cindy's number?"

"Please, my younger sister is finally getting married to her girlfriend and I'm the matron of honour. Mandy's been with Chrissy for two years but they decided to tie the knot after Chrissy's ex finally agreed to a divorce. It was either say yes or go to court and he hates parting with money."

"He's not all there," Kevin spoke up, "anyways, I've gotta take this one to the ice cream parlour, do you wanna get some ice cream?"

"Yay," her face lit up.

"It was lovely to meet you," Susan held her hand out to Lucy, "and your barbies."

Lucy shook her hand solemnly.

"I'll drop the cash off to you tomorrow," Charlene nodded at Kevin.

"Where are you going to go first?" Susan asked her.

"Oh I don't know, maybe up to Mount Dandenong but we've got our date on Friday."

"Oops, that reminds me, I need to book it first," Susan winced.

"Where are you going?" Samantha asked them.

"The Cuckoo, it's a thank you dinner for all those free driving lessons," Susan smiled, "I was the driving instructor most of the time."

"Oh, okay," Samantha's smile remained fixed, "sounds nice."

~*~

The Cuckoo Restaurant, Olinda Friday night 10 August

The Cuckoo has been a Melbourne fixture for decades, the Bavarian-themed restaurant is located in Olinda, a few hundred yards from the shops. Susan had been here for her eighteenth and loved it so much she had her twenty first here as well. She'd been here once with Grant a few weeks after they got together. She recalled at the time she felt genuinely nervous because they'd been spending a lot of time together and she thought that the dinner was where he'd get down on one knee and offer up an engagement ring. She wasn't at all sure about him at that point in time, thankfully he didn't and the meal passed without incident.

Tonight however she felt muddled as she washed her hands in the toilet. The planned conversation with Grant had ended without a decision being made either way. He wanted to keep seeing her but he hadn't proposed another date yet, they'd see each other next Sunday and talk then. His father had invited him over to America to visit his extended family and that was quite obviously taking up a lot of his time at the moment. Another reason she felt out of sync was the fact that Charlene had driven them up here in her new car. Charlene was on her mind.

She stared at herself in the mirror and dried her hands. She was wearing the white ruffled blouse she'd worn for the fancy dress day, blue jeans with a brown belt and brass buckle and black boots. A fake pearl necklace set the blouse off along with cream-coloured bangles and earrings. The girls at work had loved the blouse and three wrote Robyn's number down and had all booked sessions, as she found out when she dropped in with her mother to choose items for her third order. Valerie was keen to look at the catalogues and after looking through a few signed up for a family plan for her and her husband.

"At this rate we'll have to put you on the payroll," Robyn joked.

Susan had ordered five blouses, including two more silk double-breasted blouses in blue and white stripes and red, four skirts, two pinafores and three pairs of trousers, she still had one more item to order but had put it off for a couple of weeks. She turned as the door opened. Two women walked in and as she headed to the door she couldn't help smiling.

"Oh, sure I like him. He is cute but so is his sister."

Charlene was still at the table, talking to a waitress and she let her eyes play over her. She'd gone for an elegant look, a cream tie blouse, suede jacket and black pleated skirt. Their eyes met for an instant before she went back to talking to the waitress. Charlene was a real option she admitted now, although to be honest she only knew one lesbian. Scratch that, one single lesbian, the others at the women's meeting were in relationships.

The waitress nodded and smiled at her as she took the menus back.

"I'll have your orders soon."

"Danke schön," she grinned.

"No problem," she replied, "it was nice to serve someone who speaks German too."

She had a definite accent and Susan sat down opposite Charlene as the woman spoke again.

"I will be back with your drinks soon," she turned and walked away.

"You speak German?"

"Yeah, we had a choice of French or German and I chose German because it helps to understand my native tongue."

"What do you mean?"

"Grammar is vital when learning German, not so much in English. It's not always taught in schools these days but once you learn German then you can understand English grammar."

"I didn't know that."

"And your phone beeped," she nodded at it, "it's my turn to go for a piss," she stood up.

"Sure thing," she picked her phone up to read the message as Charlene moved away.

Robyn: Last 3 items from order no. 2 are finished! You can pick them up tonight, we're home Saturday but out Sunday till 4pm.

Instead of texting, she rang the number instead and Robyn answered almost right away.

"Hiya, I just texted you. Where are you? In a pub?"

"The Cuckoo, I'm going out for dinner with Charlene, it's nothing romantic, she got her licence two recently and promised to take me out for dinner to say thanks for the lessons."

"That's nice. Are you coming over tonight?"

"Yeah, I might just do that," she replied, "we won't be there that late."

"As long as you're here before midnight it's cool, I fucked up that text I just sent it's actually three items from order number two as mentioned but I've got five from your third order. I was just about to send the follow up text but you rang instead."

"Oh, don't worry we'll be there," she promised her.

When she told Charlene a few minutes later she was in complete agreement.

"I haven't made it up there to choose more clothes, so I may do that tonight if that's okay."

"No worries but Kylie said something about starting work there in a week at the meeting. You were out on the back verandah having a ciggie."

"Ah, okay. I didn't know she was starting another job."

"It's part time apparently."

The topic of conversation that night ranged from clothes and the right first car for her through to the places Charlene had visited. But at no time was sex or her inability to break up with Grant talked about, she'd mentioned it in passing on the way up the mountain but Charlene merely shrugged and changed the subject. Nevertheless, as a first date it was quite successful, the food was good and they both agreed to come back here again.

"Maybe in twelve months time."

"Why twelve months?"

"To celebrate, twelve months with a licence," she unlocked the door, "assuming I don't lose it."

"You'll be fine, just don't drink and drive. The limit is zero. No ifs or buts."

"That's easy to remember," she opened the door for her.

"And no dope either," she slid onto the passenger seat.

"Wowser," she grinned.

Susan's orders were downstairs in the living room when they arrived, two pencil dresses in red and black with full length zippers down the front, the middle was cinched with three buckled straps, she laid them down again and picked up the pink ruffled blouse. It was cut in the same style as the one she had on and she smirked.

"Cool, love them all," she turned to the other items.

They were five blouses, the white satin one had a placket covering the buttons and French cuffs, the cream satin one had no placket though. She picked up a double-breasted blouse with blue and white stripes, a red double-breasted blouse was under it. The last one was a white silk tie blouse with an extra wide placket and two box pleats on the bodice.

"I love them all," she glanced at Robyn's skirt, "I like that skirt too."

Robyn stood up and looked down at herself. The black A-line skirt fell to just past her knees, it had four coloured bands at the hem and a strip of white lace sewn into the bottom of the hem and then she turned to show the side fastenings, four coloured buttons to match the bands and a pink zipper.

"Yeah, I want one."

"Cool," she sat down, "you had one item left on your order anyway."

"I love these dresses," Susan rose and held one against herself.

"That's a fuck me all night long dress," Penny set a tray of coffee and biscuits down, "I've got four or five so far."

"Kylie made them," Robyn commented, "so any mistakes are hers," she winked.

"Kylie? She was at the meeting wasn't she?"

"Yeah, she's just started part time with Cindy, we don't have enough work to put her or me on full time but at this rate," she smiled at Susan, "we'll be launching nationwide."

Susan chuckled and Robyn giggled.

"Well, nationwide as in Melbourne."

"So, are you two together?" Penny asked.

"Kind of but neither of us are sure," Susan replied, "sorry, it's complicated."

"Nothing wrong with complicated," Penny shrugged.

"How did you find out? If you don't mind me asking," Charlene asked her.

"I've known for years," Penny replied, "I've never had a cock inside me but Robyn was with a guy when we met. I had to try and convince her to look for someone else but she ignored me and here we are, twelve months later."

"I heard that," Susan looked at Robyn briefly and then picked up her cup, "I'm open to the idea but at the moment it's just contemplation. I've got a boyfriend but he's just a mate."

"Tell me more," Penny picked up her wine.

Over the next fifteen minutes or so she told her about Grant and her reasons for wanting to go out with women instead of men and Penny listened without interrupting.

"Don't be afraid to experiment, it's not a race to the finish. I was with a few different women and in the early days I was young and stupid. I was full of ego and bullshit and missed out on things with some really decent chicks. Give it time, by the way you've described things between you and him, it sounds as if it's more a friendship than anything else."

"It's a bit more complicated than that," she glanced up at the sewing room, "he's a nice guy and I'm the one leaving him. I don't want to be the villain here."

"My mother and I have a complicated relationship too. I couldn't live the way she does with him, but now and then she drops a little pearl of wisdom."

"If you try and please everyone, nobody will like you... nobody likes a people pleaser."

"Uh huh," Susan nudged her glasses.

"I'm a divorce lawyer and I hear a lot of stories about people who tried their very best to please as many people as possible then they got engaged, married and had kids and some succeeded for years. Or at least they thought they did," she looked down.

"But honestly? It's a façade, we women are good at putting on faces. I do it every morning before I go to work and when I go out for the night," she propped her chin on her fist.

"You never said this at the meeting but it was implied that you're a virgin?"

"I am, that's what's bothering me. Am I making a mistake here?"

"Virginity isn't like a rare jewel, it's just sex for the first time. Your first time is hopefully good but it's not always. Stop trying to control the event when it happens and it will happen one day whether you want it or not. You'll start with a kiss and then follow it up with more until you can't stop and before you know it you're naked," Penny had some more wine.

"Try not to make it sound like you're on a quest to find the holy grail, you'll make mistakes and feel awkward and out of sync but it's all part of the learning process."

"Thank you," she glanced over her shoulder, "it will happen in time."

"Of course it will," Penny smirked, "just enjoy the ride."

They left some twenty minutes later and the conversation on the way back down the mountain was fairly entertaining and relaxed. When she pulled into the drive however the main lights were on and she shifted in her seat.

"Well that's you home safe and sound with your virginity intact and your purchases."

"Yeah, my purchases, I loved that skirt Robyn had on tonight."

"I might order one like it myself," she paused, "so, what else did you order?"

"Five skirts, two pinafore dresses and three pairs of trousers."

"You've got a thing for pinafores," she observed, "those two you picked up are fantastic, what was it Penny called them? Fuck me all night long?"

"Yeah," she glanced at her briefly and then stared at the house again as she sorted through possible invitations but all she could come up with was, "do you want to come in?"

"Come in?"

"Yeah, coffee, tea, or cake or whatever. We don't have to sit with my parents, we can go to my room and sit and watch telly or listen to music."

"Hmm," she frowned, "tempting but I've gotta work tomorrow, I'm on the lunch team we've got a big event, some World War Two veteran is celebrating his birthday and his family have decided to have a big lunch at the Dorset."

"Oh," she leaned back and closed her eyes, "okay, but thanks for the night out, it was fun."

"No worries," Charlene put a hand on her leg, "I had fun too."

"We should do this again," she replied.

"We will," Charlene turned slightly and squeezed her leg slightly, "we're going to the sex shop on Wednesday, aren't we?"

"Um, yeah," she looked down at herself and Charlene moved her hand up her leg, "it's the best day for me because it's the middle of the week," she paused as Charlene slid her hand up to her belly and then slid her fingers in between two buttons.

"What are you doing?" Susan arched her eyebrows.

"Testing the boundaries," Charlene put her other hand on her shoulder and tickled her earlobe, "it's the ultimate thrill, how far can one go."

"Not that far seeing as we're sitting in the drive and my parents are still up."

"I wasn't going to go that far," she smiled slyly, "but you were talking about exploring yourself and your sexuality. You can either read books and articles or try it on for yourself, for example, how do you feel if I touch you?"

Susan looked down as Charlene tickled her belly, it felt forbidden but only slightly but was that down to the fact that Charlene was female? What if Grant or some guy did that? A moment later Charlene leaned over and kissed her cheek and when she turned to look at her, she kissed her on the lips and this time she forced her mouth open. Susan instinctively went along with it and was taken aback at how normal it felt, it was actually better than kissing a guy, there was none of the urgency there and when Charlene pulled back she blinked. A second later Charlene reached past her to the tilt lever at the side and pulled it up and pushed down on the seat. Susan exhaled suddenly as the seat back went right back until she was almost horizontal.

"Well?" Charlene cocked her head to one side.

"Um, that was rather sudden."

"Yeah it was, it's a gay kiss, it usually starts with a kiss as they say."

"That too," she swallowed as Charlene tickled her earlobe, "it's softer than I thought."

"Stands to reason, we're not in a bleeding rush."

"I guess so but it's escalated suddenly."

"Sorry, I just discovered that feature yesterday," she undid their seatbelts, "I had to try it out but with someone sitting in the seat but don't worry we aren't going further unless you come back to my joint tonight."

She considered this idea as Charlene kissed her again and this time she tilted her head slightly and opened her mouth wider for a full open-mouthed kiss. She felt the familiar headiness and warmth in her belly. Charlene kissed her yet again and ran her hands through her hair. Susan murmured words that were never heard because their lips were locked together. She broke free and let her breath out again, feeling a mixture of anxiety, arousal and excitement. It couldn't go much further, could it? That question was answered a few seconds later when Charlene brought her right hand up to her left breast and squeezed it gently. Susan's eyes flickered and Charlene glanced over her shoulder at the house and then she turned back to her.

"No one's watching, but are you going to move my hand? Just say stop."

Susan put her hand on top of Charlene's but didn't push her hand off and Charlene squeezed it again and kissed her at the same time. Halfway through the kiss she dragged a thumbnail across her nipple and was rewarded with a light moan and when she broke free Susan exhaled.

"Um," she looked down at herself as she tried to form a sentence but there were no words that could fit this situation because it was pleasant.

"Something wrong?" Charlene massaged her other breast.

"Not really but we can't go too far here."

"Probably not," she glanced over her shoulder again and then out the back window, "is it pleasant or are you still undecided?"

"It's pleasant," she replied.

Charlene traced her way down the ruffled placket to her belly and undid one of the buttons to show part of her belly and then tickled her belly. This time she flinched as her nerve endings reacted and Charlene smirked and slid her hand down over her crotch. She pulled her right leg across a bit and drew her finger firmly up her zipper and Susan bit her lip and then exhaled.

"Okay, enough, you've gone further than anyone."

"Cool," she reached over and pulled the lever and then the seat back.

The seat rose and Susan stared at the house again.

"Trust me, no one saw a bloody thing and there you have it, your first lesbian encounter, it's not so scary once you realise you can call a halt whenever you want without too many worries, guys are a bit of a wild card. Some will back off out of respect for your space or pure terror, no wants to be the one accused of rape."

"I guess so," she looked down at herself, "you could've kept going just not here that's all."

"We still can but you'd have to follow me back in your car."

Susan stared at the house again as she thought about it but then shook her head.

"No, I still have to talk to Grant," she fastened her button again, "but that was illuminating."

"Good, so what time Wednesday?"

"How does half past three sound? I'll come straight from work."

"Half past three is fine."

"Good, we'll talk about this later but not now."

"No problem," Charlene grinned, "thanks again for the company, it's been fun."

"You can say that again," she grabbed her handbag and opened the door.

She paused for a moment with one foot out the door and then leaned back and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"Thanks for taking me out, see you Wednesday, I'll text when I leave work."

Just as she fetched her new clothes from the back seat however the front door opened and she saw her stepfather behind the flywire door and Charlene flashed the lights. As she watched her back out of the driveway a minute later Susan had mixed feelings and still had no answers.

What am I? Straight, gay, bisexual?

She still had no answer as she slipped beneath the doona cover a little while later but as she rolled onto her side and stared at the pillow next to her she admitted to herself that if Charlene was next to her right now she wouldn't resist her. She felt some regret at not going back to her place but then again Charlene was right.

I need to resolve this with Grant one way or the other.

~*~

Wandsworth London 11 November 2024, 11:30

"So, how was it?" Penny asked them as they sat back on the bed together.

"It was fine, the pub felt bigger on the inside than it looked," Sarah replied.

"Yeah, it's deceptive," Penny agreed, "and Janis. What do you make of her?"

"Hard to match up the picture I got from Charlene with the woman I met today," Susan mused, "I had this Margaret Thatcher image in my head but she's more like the Vicar of Dibley. She's got a dry sense of humour and that's without any alcohol in her system. I'd hate to see her when she's had a few she'd probably be a two pot screamer."

"I haven't heard that one for years," Penny grinned.

"A lot goes on behind closed doors though," she continued, "my dad could seem very conservative but he was a shocking root rat but people change and you did a lot for her in the last twelve months, that can have an effect on people's perceptions."

"I think Charlene had her own set of problems too," Susan's eyes shifted, "I've been going over the past and knowing what I do about her past especially learning more from Janis she'd been through a hell of a lot of shit, a lot more than yours truly."

"So your outlook has changed then?"

"It's shifted, I'm talking about it more, especially to Sarah," she grabbed her leg, "and she knows most of what went on but there's a part of me that used to cringe whenever Charlene came up in casual conversation over the years."

"Good to hear but don't worry about cringing, I've made a few mistakes. We were all young and stupid and now we're older and absent minded."

"True," she grinned, "I was thinking about that visit to the sex shop she took me there and I didn't know where to look, hard to believe now."

"I was the same," Robyn broke in, "when Kathy took me there, some of the things they had there looked like they belonged in a torture chamber."

"Yeah, nothing like Club X."

"Oh no, the middle class mums would've been marching up and down the streets if you could see through the windows," Robyn replied.

"Too right," Susan grinned.

"So, how're the memories?" Penny asked, "is it difficult to dredge them up?"

"It's actually therapeutic," she replied, "I mean Sarah has heard it all before, well most of it, Janis hasn't heard much and there's been bad blood between them. In some small way I think I'm helping to heal the hurt. She's beginning to understand her rebellious sister."

"Good to hear," Penny replied, "you know we're both here for you if you need it."

"I know and thanks."

"So, what's the plan for tomorrow?"

"We're off to the British museum with Janis, she's going to be our tour guide."

"Fantastic, well enjoy your day," Penny smiled.

After they'd ended the call Susan leaned back against the bedhead.

"You all right, honey?"

"Yeah," she closed her eyes, "just thinking about the sex shop and what happened afterwards."

"What happened after that? I don't think I've ever heard about that."

Susan smiled and grabbed her leg.

~*~

Bayswater Adult Store, Wednesday 15 August

Susan had been past the sex shop a few times in the past. Tucked away in Station Street, it was off the main street. Mountain Highway split Bayswater in two, effectively dooming it to the status of a backwater. Even the railway station carpark was rarely full, Station Street ran between Mountain Highway and Dorset Road. The shops included a bank, a real estate agency, the post office, a dental surgery a travel agency and a barber, amongst others. Shops regularly closed and reopened as the new owners tried to make their particular business work, some managed to eke out a subsistence but others failed. Oddly enough the sex shop had remained there for years, perhaps its location off the main highway was part of the reason. Some customers didn't want to be seen ducking into the shop with the blacked out windows.

Susan had come straight from work and was wearing a grey wool-blend, three-piece trouser suit and grey satin tie blouse with the ties fastened into a stylish pussybow knot. Charlene had put on a white silk blouse, black jeans and a black tie, the top two buttons of her blouse were undone.

"Are you working later?"

"Nope, I thought I'd dress up," she grinned, "but I can go in the nude if you want."

"Um, no that's not a good idea," she returned the smile.

"You look as if you have come straight from work. You look more dressed up than me."

"I'm in disguise," she opened the car door again and waited for Charlene to get in.

"So, did you see Grant on Sunday?"

"No," she bit her lip, "he had to do some Boys Brigade function, a march in the city."

"Boys Brigade?"

"Kinda like scouts but with more marching and less camping out in the bush with your mates," she started the engine, "he used to go to the baptist church, which is where he joined the club but he has always loved the uniform, so he says."

"I can understand uniforms," Charlene grinned as Susan reversed out into the street.

Susan smiled but little was said on the way into Bayswater but when she parked in the nearly empty carpark at Bayswater Village Charlene lit a cigarette and closed her eyes.

"Sorry, just got to have this first."

"Smoke it on the way," she opened the door.

They wandered along Station Street and Susan tried to marshal her courage as they drew nearer and nearer to the sex shop and when they reached it Charlene butted the cigarette out and flicked it into the gutter and then nodded at the door. Susan hesitated and then followed her. There was a life sized cut out cardboard poster of a woman facing her as they went down a passageway formed by a wall that shielded the interior of the shop from schoolchildren.

"Hey," Kylie greeted them, "fancy meeting you two here."

"I didn't know you worked in this shop," Susan blinked in surprise.

"I'm part time but once work with Cindy picks up I might be full time there and I can leave all this behind, behold my glory wall," she waved at a wall of vibrators and dildos.

Charlene moved past Susan and walked to the wall.

"Now that's a sight for sore eyes. What do you think?"

"Um," she folded her arms and took a few steps forward to examine them, "they look very big, I'd be afraid to use them in case they split me in two."

Charlene burst out laughing and Kylie grinned.

"We stretch," Charlene said, "the same hole that accommodates this," she took down a vibrator, "will also fit a baby's head," she handed it to her.

"You're looking to buy one?" Kylie raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah, I need to start somewhere and Grant won't help me out."

"So you're taking matters into your own hand, good for you," she lifted the hatch in the counter and stepped out from behind the counter, "you've come at the right time."

She took a larger pink one down, it had a clitoral stimulator.

"Buy this and get a smaller one for half price," she pointed to a row of small dildos at the bottom of the display wall.

"Oh," she nudged her glasses and leaned over to read the price tags, "that's a good deal, are they the electric kind?"

"Nope, the big one is," she pointed, "this is a dildo, use it with lubricant."

"That's another thing we need to buy," Charlene spoke up.

"Lube is free if you take this offer, you get two tubes."

"Well that does it for me," Susan straightened up, "so it comes down to colour now?"

"Yeah, although I'd recommend the ones with the clitoral vibrator," she touched one.

"Oh, my fucking God, that is a thing of beauty," Charlene took one down, "I want one."

"Me too," Susan took down one that was a different colour.

It took a bit of time to choose a vibrator but eventually she chose the one with the rabbit ears and clitoral stimulator, she liked the pink one but for the small dildo she opted for a flesh-coloured one that looked just like a penis, Charlene chose black and pink respectively.

"Do you happen to sell batteries too?" Susan asked.

"Yeah, right there," she pointed to a counter display with AA batteries in packs of ten.

"Oh right," she grabbed a pack, "you want one too?"

"Of course," Charlene grinned.

"So, you two off home now to try them out?" Kylie asked.

"Um, no, I'm just dropping off Charlene and then I'm going home."

"I'll bag them for you," Kylie replied, "don't worry, they're discreet."

~*~

In all the months she'd been coming here, Susan had never seen Charlene's room and she had only seen Gary half a dozen times. Most of the time they sat in the living room if it was just them or the kitchen if Gary was with a guy, which was rare. She was in Charlene's room because Gary's mother was here.

"I'll get some Coke, make yourself at home," Charlene nodded at the bed.

This could have been his room because it had a built in wardrobe with floor to ceiling mirror doors and when she looked up she saw four huge mirrors mounted to the ceiling behind wooden beading, the mirrors covered most of the ceiling. It gave the room artificial depth but felt like something out of a B-grade '70s tv show. She cracked the curtains and peered out at the backyard, it looked sad with an old tin garden shed and a barbecue and table and chairs that looked ancient. She closed the curtain again and turned around to view the room again, it was cosy but it had a bit of room around the bed, enough for two people side by side.

Maybe this was the main bedroom, she looked up at the mirrors.

The bed was a double bed with bedside drawers on both sides of the bed, opposite the bed and off to one side was a large chest of drawers and there was a desk with an old computer by the window, the computer looked oldish. She recalled having a similar one back in 1995, it'd been recycled, perhaps Gary had bought it she smirked. A portable telly stood on a table opposite the bed and there was an old cassette player on the chest of drawers. There was no dust though, unlike the rest of the house, she returned to the bed and sat down on the side closest to the wardrobe and took her shoes off and dropped them beside her handbag and the other bag. Charlene came back a minute later with two glasses of mineral water.

"We've got no Coke left but I got orange and mango mineral water," she held up two glasses and Susan sat up.

"That's fine," she sat up, "I wasn't really in the mood for Coke anyway."

"No problem," she put a glass on top of the bedside drawers closest to her, "Gary's mum is cooking dinner and asked us to stay, I said no but if you want I can change my mind."

"No, it's fine," she replied.

"Have you checked out your purchases yet?" Charlene locked the door.

"Nope," she took it out of the bag, "I need a pair of scissors or a knife."

Charlene handed her a Stanley knife from one of the bedside drawers and she cut the packet open and took out the vibrator whilst Charlene drank her mineral water, the device felt much bigger and once again she wondered out loud how it was going to fit.

"Trust me, it'll fit," Charlene winked, "I've had all sizes inside me."

"I gotta take this jacket off," she put the vibrator down and pulled the jacket over her shoulders, "is it just me or is it hotter in this part of the house?"

"The insulation in this house is shit but this part of the house is hotter," she helped pull the jacket off, "I think it was added on later by some builder who forgot to insulate."

"Thanks, it's this suit, it's a wool blend, great for winter but not the warmer months but it was okay at work, although we have air conditioning," she had some mineral water.

A minute or two later she had the batteries in the vibrator and turned it on and Charlene showed her how to activate the shaft and clitoral stimulators separately.

"The last setting is for both and," she twisted another dial on the bottom, "that increases the power, five is obviously top speed."

"I see that," she had some more mineral water.

"I might test mine out too, just in case it's buggered," she took her vibrator out and cut the packet open whilst Susan drank her mineral water.

A minute or so later she lay down on the bed and undid the two buttons on her jeans and unzipped them to expose black frilly panties. Susan blushed when she pulled her jeans and panties over her buttocks though. Charlene grinned slyly and spreading her legs turned the vibrator on and inched the tip inside her.

"Oh fuck," her smile broadened and she slid it all the way in, "oh sweet baby Jesus this is worth the money I just spent," she stared at her, "you should try it," she tilted it slightly and arched her back as she slid it down a bit.

"Oh, oh, ooh, that's the spot," she pulled it out and held it up reverently, "oh, this is my new baby, I am going to have so much fun with you. I'm going to lick you and squeeze you and keep you nice and warm inside me, you'll never want to leave me."

Susan suddenly burst out laughing and Charlene turned it off.

"You are such a trip."

"Well I'm a Londoner, it goes with the territory I'm afraid," she put it down and pulled her panties back up over her hips, "sorry about all this, I'm just a shameless exhibitionist."

She sat up and slid to the end of the bed and then stood up and pulled her jeans up as well.

"What do you mean by exhibitionist?"

"Oh, this, most of the time," she pulled the zipper up, "but when I was younger," she fastened the first button, "I used to have sex near windows with open curtains, public toilets, alleys and out in the open, we called it dogging in Britain," she fastened the second button and then knelt on the bed and cocked her head to one side.

"But don't worry, I'm older now and a bit more sensible, most of the time."

"Okay, sure, it was interesting though," she admitted.

"You gonna try yours?" Charlene grinned.

"Maybe not like you did, I'll wait until I get home."

"Whatever," Charlene rose. "I'll open the windows and let some cooler air in," she pulled back the curtains and opened the windows, "there, that's better and see, the curtains are still closed." she let them fall back, "I'm nearly a saint," she returned to the bed and lay down again.

"You know what they remind me off?"

"Saturday Night Fever?"

"Something like that," she replied as Charlene slid across the bed. She slid closer as well until they were lying next to each other. They lay in silence for a minute or so and then Charlene sat up and knelt beside her, she tugged at the waistcoat.

"Silly question, but can I try this on?"

"My waistcoat? Why?" Susan put the vibrator to one side.

"I'm thinking of buying one of those three piece suits."

"Sure," she fiddled with the top button.

"Let me," she pushed her hand aside and pushed the topmost button through the buttonhole whilst Susan stared at their reflection.

"Unless you'd rather undo it yourself," she stopped.

"No, it's cool," she stared at a mirror and then moved sideways a little, "I'll just keep my eye on the mirror and make sure your hands don't go to forbidden places," she smiled.

It felt odd staring at one of the mirrors watching Charlene unbutton her waistcoat. She touched her glasses as Charlene parted the waistcoat up to show off the blouse and its box pleats.

"Roll over," Charlene murmured.

She acquiesced and let her slide the garment off her right arm. She rolled back and watched as she pulled the garment away.

"How did you feel about what I just did just then?" Charlene started to button the waistcoat a few seconds later.

"Yeah, it's actually quite um... sensual? Seductive? Erotic? Innocent?"

"All good words," she replied a few moments later as she fastened the last button, "but what about last Friday night? How did you feel about what I did?"

Susan stared at her and a moment later sat up and fastened the second button.

"If you'd tried to go further in the drive I would've stopped you," she fastened the top button.

"Afterwards though when I was in bed I had to admit that if you were next to me we'd have gone further but as to how far," she pushed the tie up.

"Let's just say I'm not sure," she fell back on her elbows, "I'm with Grant and I know we're friends and not boyfriend and girlfriend but I still feel the need to make it official."

"I understand," she turned to look at herself, "but how do I look by the way?"

"You look good, you should buy a suit from her, she's got a deal with a guy who does leatherwork, she gets cheap belts from him."

"Belts," she slid off the bed and walked over to the wardrobe and opened a door. She took out a belt with a Western style buckle and started putting it on, "tell me, if you've decided to leave him, what stops you from trying it with someone else first?"

Susan watched her fasten the buckle. It was an oval shape with a cow's skull on it, and a moment later she fell onto her back and let her breath out. Charlene turned back to the mirror and then she got the jacket and put it on. She looked in the mirror once again and then got back on the bed and crawled over to her.

"You look hot in that."

"Thanks," she grinned, "so, what stops you?" Charlene looked down at her.

"I guess it's bad memories, I've done this before, I once pashed on with a guy at church when I was with someone else and then had to make a decision. That time wasn't so hard because he and I were already breaking up, but with Grant I feel responsible, he's fragile."

"Fragile?" Charlene pulled the jacket off again and tossed it behind her, "fuck that is hot."

"Kind of wimpy, he can be effeminate although he's not gay but I worry that ditching him suddenly could drive him into depression, which doesn't mean I have to avoid the talk but I've got to be very careful with him. Do you get what I mean or am I just rambling?"

"You're rambling," Charlene grinned.

"Maybe I am," she replied, "I mean I haven't seen him for three weeks and when I text him it takes a couple of days before he even replies."

"What does that tell you then?"

Susan stared at herself and let her breath out slowly.

"I still want a verbal answer if you know what I mean."

"I do, I've been there before," she leaned over her.

"Sometimes we just grow out of love or drift apart, it's no one's fault as such. Maybe it was fun for awhile but when one person doesn't bother to reply to the other person it's often a sign that it's over, I've been in that situation before myself."

"You have, huh?" Susan felt the waistcoat.

"It looks good on you, seriously. You need to order one."

"I will now," she put one hand on the other side of her and leaned down to kiss her gently. Susan's back arched slightly halfway through the kiss and Charlene put her right knee between her legs and as she broke free she moved over on top of her and lay between her legs and spread her legs to force hers apart as well. They stared at each other for a minute or so, the silence was only broken by two Harleys roaring up Wattle Road. Out of instinct, Susan turned to look at the wardrobe and Charlene grabbed her hands and spread her arms out and pinned them to the bed. She got up on all fours and leaned over to kiss her on the lips once again.

Susan rose to meet her and pushed against her lips and closed her eyes as she gave in and the other woman worked her lips methodically and slowly. She broke free a few seconds later only to start all over again and this continued for the better part of five minutes or more. Some kisses were light and playful and others were longer passionate kisses. However, with each minute her resolve weakened and that had a lot to do with the locked door and closed curtains. Her breathing had turned shallow and she felt the familiar headiness she'd always associated with kissing guys.

She stared at the mirrors as Charlene slid down the bed and lowered herself and then slid forward to kiss her, pushing her breasts over Susan's breasts at the same time. As their lips met Susan inhaled suddenly, Charlene moved back and forth and across her body, which caused the waistcoat buttons to rub against her nipples. She tightened her grip on Charlene's hands as the kiss turned passionate, it ended a few seconds later and Charlene looked down at herself and rocked back and forth a few more times before stopping.

Susan let her breath out slowly, aware that she was not only aroused but she was in a place where they couldn't be disturbed. This wasn't her parents' driveway. Charlene slid down a bit and hooked her feet behind her calves and moved forward and arched her back. The enamel cow's head on the buckle pushed between her lips and she let out a low whimper.

"Oh shit, shit, shit, oh, oh, oh shit."

She repeated the movement a few more times and Susan grabbed her buttocks tightly and guided her back and forth, arching her back as she pushed into her. Sometimes her passage was off but eventually she let go and grabbed the doona instead.

Charlene sat up and grabbing the box pleats, slid her way up to the top and back down a couple of times. Susan kept her eyes locked on Charlene's as she contemplated her situation. For years she had wondered how people just fell into bed and had sex, there'd been no explanation but now at last she understood. Charlene opened the placket up and slid up to the top of the blouse and then back down again. It was just as Penny had explained, you started kissing and couldn't stop.

Truth be told she didn't really want to stop although she still felt nervous when Charlene loosened the knot on her pussybow and wrapped the tie ends around her hands. She exerted pressure on the ties and pulled downwards and because she still felt anxious she stared at a mirror above her as the bows decreased slowly and then vanished into the knot itself and the satin material reappeared on the other side. Charlene looked up at the mirror as she undid the first retaining knot and spread the tie ends out over the bed.

"I like that look."

"What look?" Susan's eyes widened.

"This top bit," she slid a finger under the top of the blouse, where instead of a top button, there was a double hook and eye fastening. "I didn't see that design."

"It's nice with a brooch," Susan finally managed.

She pulled the tie away and dropped it onto the bed. Susan bit her lip as she reevaluated the rapidly evolving situation and still felt no desire to call a halt. She was rather enjoying the slow and sensual disrobing and she recalled Robyn's words about her favourite form of foreplay.

Perhaps there is something in this after all, she smiled.

"What're you smiling about?"

Charlene folded the placket back and slid her fingers up to the top of the blouse.

"Huh? Oh, nothing but I'm a bit nervous."

"You and me both," she undid the hook and eye fastening.

"You? Why?"

"Whenever I do something like this," she spread the collar out, I expect you to push my hand away or tell me to stop," she traced her fingers back and forth along the shallow vee.

"We are consenting adults," she patted her hand, "if I wasn't fine with this we wouldn't be lying on your bed with the door locked."

Charlene leaned over and kissed her playfully on the lips and followed up with several more kisses until finally she had to straighten up and look at the bedhead. Her breathing was shallower too and Susan's face was flushed as she breathed in and out, counting each breath for reasons that escaped her. Charlene folded the placket back and slid down to her belt and up to the second button. Their eyes met and she tugged at it playfully and smiled crookedly. Susan's face was blank however as she returned her gaze measure for measure.

When the button slid out of the buttonhole however she exhaled and Charlene tugged at the edges of the blouse to deepen the vee. Once again she folded the placket back and Susan's eyes shifted to the ceiling mirror as she let her fears evaporate. Yes, she was inexperienced and didn't even know if she would enjoy being with a woman, but on the other hand, she mused as her fingers slid up to the third button. She felt secure and safe enough to know that nothing bad would happen in this room, it wasn't like being with a man.

Was that the attraction with women? Susan mused as the button slipped free and the vee deepened, the end now rested just above her cleavage and she saw a glint of light on the crucifix necklace, a gift from her mother. With men there was always the fear you could be raped or murdered or both, but women harboured no such threat. Granted there were dominatrix types out in the big bad world but even they weren't about to hold you down and assault you. She squeezed her breasts through the waistcoat and blouse and Charlene arched her back and exhaled.

"That's the spirit," she turned her cuff around to reveal the three-button closure but just as she slid a button through the buttonhole Susan's phone rang three times. They froze and both of them stared at the edge of the bed. It stopped ringing and she turned back to her and eased the next button through the buttonhole but then the phone beeped twice and Susan flinched.

"Can you get my phone, please?"

"Is it Grant?"

"Maybe, he's just got a single ringtone, mum, Alastair and my sister have got a special ringtone, she pulled her hand away, "it could be work with a shift change."

Charlene crawled to the edge of the bed and retrieved her phone and brought it back to her and knelt beside her.

Grant: I heard you've tried to contact me, so sorry but I've been busy, we can talk Sunday.

She was about to reply when it beeped again and she read the next message.

Grant: But I think I know what it's about and we need to talk. I hope I haven't disappointed you, I haven't been the most inspiring boyfriend.

Susan: Okay, Sunday at church?

She waited for a reply but after a minute or so. Charlene picked her arm up again and slid the third button, through the buttonhole and Susan looked at her phone briefly.

"Sometime today would be nice, Grant," she sighed.

"What's he saying? If you don't mind me asking."

Susan changed the phone to her other hand as Charlene picked up her other arm and pulled the cuff around to show the buttons.

"I think we've broken up."

"You think?" Charlene undid the first button.

"Something about being a bad boyfriend," she replied as Charlene moved to the second button and eased it free of the buttonhole.

"Meaning?"

"He's been neglecting me and he knows it," she watched her fiddle with the third button and then her phone beeped again and she read the message.

Grant: That works, see you then. Have a great night whatever you're doing.

She sent a smiley in return and put the phone down and stared at the ceiling.

"Thank God for that, he hasn't said so outright but it's over or will be by Sunday and if he doesn't have the guts to end it I will," she grinned.

"Are you mad, sad, disappointed, confused?"

"Not so much mad, I can't be mad at him, disappointed in myself and a bit confused about why we got involved in the first place but the sadness is normal."

"I guess so," she pushed the phone away and lay down at right angles to her.

"God, will you look at me, all unbuttoned and it's not even five."

"Not quite," she folded the placket back, "two, possibly three but you're on the way to being all unbuttoned," their eyes met and Susan blushed.

"I don't want promises in the dark about how much you love me or any of that shit, let's just take it slowly, okay?"

"Shut up," Charlene murmured and kissed her throat again.

Susan acquiesced and stared at her reflection as Charlene kissed her throat and neck, and then slid her tongue down the side of the blouse and tickled her front with spiderlike movements. She arched her back when she massaged her right breast and moaned and grabbed her head. She didn't know what came next as Charlene rubbed her thumbnail over her nipple. Susan moaned as she massaged each breast in turn and her body began to react, her nipples hardened and she felt dampness between her legs. Finally, Charlene sat up and knelt beside her.

"Would you do me the honour?" Charlene tugged at the waistcoat, "after all, it's yours."

"Oh," Susan sat up and undid the top button. Charlene stroked her front and back as she eased the second button through the buttonhole. A third button was undone swiftly afterwards. Susan gave her a teasing kiss as she undid the final two buttons but just as she parted the waistcoat her phone rang again but with a different ringtone.

"That'll be mum or my sister," Susan looked past her.

Charlene reached back and picked up the phone and before Susan could say a word she answered it with a smile as she loosened her tie.

"Hiya, it's Susan's phone, how are you, mum?"

She paused for a moment and then undid her top button and smiled.

"Hang on, she fell asleep on my bed, yes, she's fine. We went shopping out in Bayswater and she fell asleep, it must've been a hard day. Hang on, I'll just wake her up for you."

She lowered the phone to her crotch and called out.

"Susan, Susan, wake up," she tugged on the tie a bit more.

"Susan, Susan, hey, it's your mum on the phone, she sounds worried."

She held the phone in the air and then handed it to her. She waited for a second and put the phone to her ear and lay down. Charlene knelt between her legs and spread them.

"G'day, sorry about that. I fell asleep."

"Bayswater? What shop did you go to there?"

"Um, the sex shop," she smiled as Charlene squeezed her own breasts and blew her a kiss.

"Good for you, oh, Grant called earlier he was going to call you, has he called yet?"

"Um, yeah, he sent a couple of texts a while ago," she replied.

Charlene started sliding the tie slowly out of the knot and blew her a kiss. Susan grinned and tried to focus on her mother's voice.

"Did he call home looking for me?"

"Yeah, he sounded sleepy," she replied as Charlene pulled the last of the tie out of the knot and let it unravel. She left it hanging loosely from her neck.

"How did he sound to you?"

"Like he's got something on his mind but it's hard to tell with him, he's so quiet," Valerie grinned as Charlene undid her own buckle and slid the belt end past the buckle and then started pulling the belt past the keepers.

"I think we've broken up, he wants to talk and said he hasn't been a good boyfriend."

"He did sound odd, how do you feel about it?"

"Mixed feelings," she replied as Charlene dropped her belt on the bed, "it's sad but if it's over then I can move on, plenty of fish in the sea as they say but let's not talk anymore about it until I speak to him on Sunday, was that the only reason you rang?"

"I had two reasons for calling, your cousin Gwen is getting married," she paused, "she wants you to be her bridesmaid."

Charlene undid her second button and Susan's eyes widened. "Gwen? Wow, when?"

"Wait till you hear this, she's getting married to Deanna."

"Deanna? I thought she was with Rodney?" Susan looked over as Charlene undid a third button and tugged playfully at her fourth.

"That's been finished for three months apparently but it's all been hush hush but she's come out and declared her love with Deanna, they're getting married next October."

"Next October?" Susan's eyes shifted as Charlene eased her fourth button out of the buttonhole and pulled the blouse apart to reveal a black bra.

"Why so long?"

"Deanna's divorce will be finalised in June, which gives them a few months to plan, so what should I tell her? Yes or no?"

"Yes, mum, of course I'll be her bridesmaid," she replied as Charlene undid the fifth button and the vee deepened and widened to show her belly, "is she still in the same place?"

"Nope, she's moved to Coldstream, to Deanna's house, she put down a deposit with her settlement money," she replied.

Charlene undid the sixth button and opened the blouse right up and looked down at her breasts and smiled slyly as she undid the first of her jeans buttons.

"We'll have to go and visit her soon," she watched Charlene undo the second button.

"I hoped you'd say that," she replied.

"Why?" Susan asked as Charlene slowly inched the zipper down.

"Considering the stuff you've been going through lately with Charlene I thought it'd be a wonderful opportunity to compare notes, especially with someone like Gwen, you two have been so close for so many years."

"She's my favourite cousin," her eyes shifted as Charlene parted the fly to show the seventh button, "what part of Coldstream is she in?"

"Melrose Avenue, I've got it written down but let me check the Melways."

"It's fine, mum, honestly. I'll have a look later on," she replied as Charlene undid the last button and then pulled the blouse out of her jeans and let it hang loosely about her.

"It's right in front of me, hang on."

Charlene pulled her cuff around and undid the first cuff button, followed by the second button and then Valerie spoke again.

It's off North Boundary road, I had a friend who lived just off South Boundary."

"I don't even know where that is," she replied as Charlene undid the first button on her other cuff.

"Stay on Maroondah highway out of Lilydale and take the turn off to Healesville, the housing estate is about a kilometre on the right," she paused as Charlene undid the other cuff and parted her blouse as far as possible and indicated her exposed front with a smile.

"I might invite her and Deanna over for Melbourne Cup weekend. Are you free?"

Susan blinked and nudged her glasses as Charlene pouted mockingly and pulled the blouse over her right shoulder and batted her eyebrows.

"Are you still there?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking," she smiled as Charlene pulled the garment over her shoulder, "just go and make the arrangement and I'll work around it, I haven't seen her in yonks, not since she came back from Adelaide with Rodney."

Charlene let the blouse fall down her back and arms as Valerie spoke again.

"Rodney went back a few months ago and found someone else there."

"Ooh, the plot thickens," she watched her remove the blouse and toss it onto the bed along with the tie, "but what's the other reason you called?"

Charlene pulled a bra strap off her shoulder as Valerie answered.

"Dinner, are you coming back here or eating with Charlene?"

"Coming home, if that's okay," she smiled as Charlene pulled the other strap down.

"Sure, come here and bring Charlene too, unless she's got other plans."

"Oh," she looked up Charlene reached behind her back, "mum wants to know if you'd like to come back for dinner."

"It's spag bol," Valerie spoke up

"Spag bol," she relayed the message, "sorry, spaghetti bolognese."

"Thanks, but when?" Charlene undid her bra strap.

"When?" Susan's eyes widened as the bra fell forward to reveal small pert breasts with upturned nipples amidst sprawling areolae.

"Oh about seven thirty, Al's working late. Can you pick up some Parmesan cheese and milk on the way back home, please?"

"Sure, no worries, it's tonight, Charlene."

"Okay, sure. We'll be there," she tossed the bra to one side.

"Is there anything else you want?" Susan continued.

"No," she replied as Charlene slid backwards off the bed, "oh wait, Cheddar cheese and a couple of loaves of bread. Have you got enough money?"

"Of course, mum."

"I'll pay you back when you get here, oh, guess what happened today?"

"What happened today?"

She raised an eyebrow as Charlene stood up and pulled the jeans over her buttocks to reveal a pair of black frilly panties.

"Irene is finally leaving."

"Oh Irene, come on Irene," she smiled as Charlene pulled the jeans down further and let them fall to the floor, "what's she going to do now?"

"Work for Citizen's Advice apparently."

"What's brought all this on?" Susan asked as Charlene knelt on the bed and reached back to pull the jeans past her feet.

"I get the impression it's been coming for awhile, her husband's retired and she's got a retirement package in place, she's talked about it in the past but we thought it was just talk."

"So, you going to go for her job?"

Valerie paused and Susan stared at Charlene bemusedly. She stood up and turned her back as she pulled the panties over her buttocks and looked over her shoulder at her. She let them fall down her legs and then picked them up and turned around to reveal a patch of hair between her legs. She got back on the bed and crawled back between her legs.

"You still there or are you thinking? Speak to me. Earth to mum."

"Look, I'm going to talk to Al about it tonight, it's a good job but it comes with a lot of extra work and I'm not sure I'm the right fit."

"You would be perfect," she replied as Charlene knelt in front of her, "but it's up to you of course. What seems like a promotion can be just jumping from the frying pan to the fire."

Susan's eyes narrowed as Charlene grabbed her belt and pulled the end past the keeper and into the oval-shaped brass buckle.

"Well there is that too, so what were you buying at the sex shop?"

"Vibrators and dildos," she looked down as Charlene inched the belt end into the buckle.

"There's a special on," her eyes narrowed as Charlene pulled the belt hard against the buckle to pop the prong out. She felt tension on her waist briefly, and then it was gone as she pulled the belt out of the buckle.

"I must get down there one day but I'm always too embarrassed."

"Well I can go with you, now that I've been broken in I'll be your tour guide," she looked down as Charlene started pulling the belt through the keepers and Valerie burst out laughing.

"You know what I love most about you?"

"What do you love the most?" Susan grinned as she pulled the belt end past the last keeper, "my absolutely incredible humility?"

"That too, but it's your sense of adventure. You don't blink. Alastair has said more than once that you'd be a great cop, if a guy pointed a gun you wouldn't bat an eyelid."

"I must remember that one if I ever decide on a career change," Susan replied as Charlene tossed the belt onto the bed.

"But don't you dare join the police force, it's hard enough having one in the family and he's getting close to retirement but not you as well."

"Mum, I don't think I'd be a very good cop despite what he says," she raised her head as Charlene slid her fingers into her placket and folded it back to reveal the third button.

"Where are you getting the stuff I asked for?"

"Probably Wicklow Road," she stared at Charlene's hands as she slowly inched the button through the buttonhole and out the other side to reveal the top of a flesh-coloured bra.

"I might bring back some dessert too," she nudged her glasses.

"Ooh there's a point," Valerie replied as Charlene slid down to the fourth button, "get some rum and raisin ice cream, is she allergic to it?"

"I don't think so," she looked over as Charlene pushed the button free from the buttonhole to reveal the soft viscose bra.

"Ask her for me?"

"Now?" Susan asked as Charlene slid down to the fifth button.

"Yeah, please."

"Are you allergic to anything?"

"Just my mum's cooking," she pushed it through the buttonhole.

"What did she say?"

"Her mum's cooking," she replied as Charlene slowly slid down to the sixth button and slipped it through the buttonhole and then opened the blouse right up to expose her bra and belly.

"Why was it so bad?" Valerie asked as Charlene brought her hands down to the single large button on her trousers.

"What did she cook that was so bad?" Susan asked as Charlene twisted the button and slipped it into the buttonhole. Their eyes met and she grinned as she pulled it out and grabbed the zipper.

"What's she saying? Did I embarrass her?"

"I think she's thinking," she replied as Charlene inched the zipper all the way down.

"Mum uses a lot of packet dinners," she folded the placket back to reveal the last button, "she's got as much imagination as a lump of coal when it comes to cooking."

She eased the seventh button through the buttonhole and Susan relayed most of the message but left out the part about coal.

"Well, there's hardly ever anything like that here, but I do cook tv dinner sometimes," she replied as Charlene pulled the blouse out at the front and sides.

"Tell her not to worry, I'll never do her a tv dinner," Valerie spoke again.

"Mum says she'll never cook you a tv dinner."

"Thank fuck for that," she leaned over and grabbed her left hand.

"She said thank fuck," Susan replied as Charlene pulled her upright.

"I think I heard that," Valerie laughed as Susan looked past her.

"I might invite your sister as well, she got on well with Gwen too."

"Uh huh," she swallowed as Charlene pulled the blouse out at the back and let it hang loosely.

"I'll call her and let her know."

Charlene slid the blouse over her left shoulder and down her arm and over her hand as Valerie went on, "I know it's over a year away but we need to talk about your dress. Do you think it's a good idea to take her up to meet Robyn and Cindy?"

Charlene held the phone against Susan's ear and pulled the blouse off her right shoulder and down her arm, and when it fell over her hand Susan grabbed the phone again. Charlene pulled the blouse away from her and held it up like a trophy before tossing it to one side.

"My dress?"

"The bridesmaid dress, I don't know what they're doing about wedding dresses."

Charlene pushed her back down and she fell onto an elbow.

"Why talk about that now though? It's over a year away," Susan frowned as Charlene hooked her thumbs over the waistband.

"I know, I know, I'm just dying to see you in a bridesmaid dresses and I'm just a romantic."

Susan opened her mouth as Charlene pulled the trousers over her buttocks and down her thighs and a moment later Valerie spoke again.

"Cindy probably hasn't got wedding dress catalogues."

"I think she has," she replied as Charlene slid off the bed and pulled the trousers off her legs. She held them up like a trophy and then hurled them onto her blouse and spread her legs and arms wide in a triumphant pose followed by a bow. She blew imaginary kisses to her adoring fans and dabbed her eyes in a show of fake emotion as she mouthed, 'thank you, thank you.'

"Will you ask her or is that pushing it too much?"

Susan stared at Charlene as she knelt on the bed and inched towards her.

"Mum, sorry, we'll talk about this later, I need to go to the loo," she spoke as Charlene spread her legs wide and then came to a halt.

"You're right, I'd better get started. It's only ten past five, put your feet up and relax, or play with your new toys, tea's not until seven or so," she hung up and Susan exhaled loudly.

"Sorry about that, she wanted a gas bag," she tossed the phone to one side.

"It's fine, I told you I was an exhibitionist," she leaned forward and grabbed her bra straps and slid them off her shoulders, "so, how long have we got? Or are we out of time?"

"Half past five or quarter to six but I have to get some stuff first."

"Shit," she let go of the straps and straightened up, "so, not enough time for this?"

Susan blushed at her blatant lie that was absolutely unnecessary.

"No, I'm so fucking sorry. I should've stopped you earlier, it's my fault."

"Hey," Charlene poked her belly, "I was just fooling around, it's an act for me."

"It was hard to keep a straight face, let's say it's a good memory, it deserved an Oscar."

"It was kind of entertaining, but do you like me or not? Be honest."

"I do but I don't know in what way yet," she sat up and picked up her blouse.

"I'm the same, I don't know either," she slid off the bed.

Little was said whilst they got dressed again but when Susan put on her jacket and slid across the bed to the edge she glanced over her shoulder, she still felt guilty. She could've told her the truth and just pretended she'd told her the wrong time because that was when they usually had dinner, it certainly sounded logical. They could be making love right now and have plenty of time to finish and pick up that stuff from the shop. Deep down though she suspected it had more to do with her lack of experience, how long did lovemaking really take?

She glanced over her shoulder as she pulled the jacket over her shoulders and made up her mind in a heartbeat.

"What are you doing this Saturday night?"

"Why? Are you asking me out?"

"Yeah, we could go to a night club in the city and come back to your joint. Just so you know, I was quite happy with the way things were going and I should have told mum to keep dinner for me but what's done is done."

"It's fine, really," she leaned forward on her palms, "we've gone far enough today."

"So, it's a date?"

"Yeah, I've got to change shifts with someone, have you got a club in mind?"

"I thought I'd leave that to you, seeing as you're driving," she grabbed her bags.

"About what happened just then, how do you feel about it now?"

"Oddly enough it felt completely natural, it's as Cindy says, it's a journey."

"Oh," Charlene grinned crookedly, "thanks."

They left a few minutes later to get the things her mother had asked for and then went back home. She thought her mother was going to comment she was too early but she didn't say a word, which made her suspicious and to make it worse she banished them both to the living room. Susan went to her room and changed into casual clothes a little while later. Charlene came in when she'd changed and they lay on the bed for a few minutes before Susan sat up and nodded at the door.

"Let's watch telly out there."

"Good idea after what just happened," she grinned.

The topic of conversation at dinner was Gwen and Deanna and Alastair was just as surprised to hear that Gwen had ditched her fiancé. Susan called to congratulate her and because she'd had a couple of drinks Alastair drove Charlene home. Susan thought she might try to kiss her good night but she just hugged her instead.

"Thanks again for feeding me, I owe you one," she rubbed her back.

"Don't worry about it, mum enjoyed your company, I'll see you Saturday night but text me if you can't change shifts," she smiled.

"No worries but I should be right."

As she slipped beneath the doona half an hour later though she felt a mixture of excitement and guilt or was she just confused. Either way she was determined to end this thing with Grant before it ended her. Just before she fell asleep her phone beeped and she read the message.

Charlene: Done, shift change organised. We're off to the club on Saturday!

Susan: That quick?

Charlene: I'm on a one woman mission. Sleep tight and don't forget to pat your pussy.

She frowned as she sent a smiley in return.

I must talk to Penny and Robyn before Saturday, I need to know more about sex.

To be continued...